Joy 101: Jennie Garth

Summary

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Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb

Episode: Joy 101: Jennie Garth

Release Date: July 13, 2026
Guest: Jennie Garth

Episode Overview

This episode of Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb features actress and author Jennie Garth in a candid, heartfelt conversation about the pursuit and reclamation of joy throughout the pivots of her life. Hoda and Jennie explore how joy is often forged through adversity, how Jennie navigated fame and personal loss, and the importance of authentic self-discovery, purpose, and resilience. The discussion weaves through Jennie’s transformation from a small-town girl to a global TV icon, her experience as a mother and daughter, her evolution after major life transitions, and the lessons she’s eager to pass along to others—especially about choosing oneself.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jennie's Journey: From Rural Roots to Hollywood

• Transition to Stardom
  • Jennie details her humble beginnings in Illinois, her family's move to Arizona due to her father's illness, and a serendipitous encounter that launched her acting career.
  • Quote:

    “Literally one minute I was playing in the cornfields...and I somehow ended up in Hollywood.” — Jennie Garth (06:00)

• Early Career & Breakthrough
  • After participating in a scholarship pageant, she connected with an ex-ABC casting director who encouraged and mentored her.
  • Her first TV role was a single line on Growing Pains:

    “I was like, girl number one. And I had one line, but it consisted of one word, and that line was sticky, sticky, sticky.” — Jennie Garth (08:35)

  • Eventually, she landed her iconic 90210 role.

2. Navigating Fame & Remaining Grounded

• Hollywood Challenges
  • Jennie discusses the difficulties of being thrust into the deep end of Hollywood, gaining rapid independence, and learning to “sink or swim.”
  • Survival Strategy: She actively avoided the party scene, preferring to “stay home” and maintain normalcy.

    “It took staying away from the business to survive in the business.” — Jennie Garth (09:55)

• People-Pleasing & Boundaries
  • Jennie reflects on her tendency to people-please and the journey toward pleasing herself instead.

    “In me is all those things...but it's actually in turn making you feel better. So it's just coming from a completely more like honest, real [place].” — Jennie Garth (26:15–26:48)

3. Identity, Self-Discovery, and Purpose

• Reassessing Life After 50
  • Jennie describes a period of deep introspection as her children needed her less, which led to questions about her personal purpose.

    “Who am I if I'm not this to someone, or playing this role?...I had to get very contemplative and quiet.” — Jennie Garth (12:35)

• Impact of Iconic Roles
  • Jennie acknowledges how her character’s famous line “I choose me” on 90210 empowered both her and many women viewers.

    “I never knew I could choose myself until Kelly chose herself in that moment.” — Jennie Garth (24:46)

• Finding Community
  • Connecting with other women over 50 shifted Jennie's sense of belonging and confidence.

    “All of a sudden I felt like, oh, I found people...If they can do it, I can do it.” — Jennie Garth (17:54)

4. Loss, Resilience, & Family

• Personal Losses
  • Jennie reflects on losing her father (her “soul mate”), a marriage, a friend (Luke Perry), and her daughter’s health scare.

    “I had to lose my father, who is my soul mate...I had to have my marriage end after 17 years and three girls...My daughter got mysteriously ill...We had to go through accepting that we might lose her life.” — Jennie Garth (20:43)

• Coping with Regret
  • She shares the pain of missing her father’s passing by minutes and the lifelong impact of not following her instincts.

    “It's like the biggest mistake of my life. Not listening to my instincts... I'll never, I always regret that.” — Jennie Garth (41:12)

5. Parenting: From Childhood to Adulthood

• Grounded Upbringing
  • Jennie emphasizes creating a “normal” environment for her daughters, focusing on connection (family dinners, rose-bud-thorn rituals), and shielding them from Hollywood excess.
• Parenting Adult Children
  • Finding joy in her daughters' independence and success, while learning to step back and let them make their own mistakes.

    “That they turn out to be these really decent, self-aware, caring, kind people, I feel like my—I should get a trophy for that.” — Jennie Garth (33:33–34:53)

• Mother-Daughter Bond
  • Jennie works alongside her daughter, who is the chief creative officer for her fashion brand, and describes the shifting dynamic as one of mutual learning.

    “She does everything for me...You go lead the way and I'll be right here. You tell me what to do.” — Jennie Garth (28:07)

6. Joy, Pain, and the Choice to Be Happy

• Joy Through Hardship
  • Both Hoda and Jennie agree that joy is more deeply available to those who endure life’s hardest moments.

    “The people who experience the most joy are the people who've been on their knees...” — Hoda Kotb (05:04)

• The Process of Reclaiming Joy
  • Jennie openly discusses periods where she could not find joy, despite external blessings, and the inner work required to reclaim it.

    “There was a good portion of my life where I couldn't find joy...That was one of the scariest things for me—why can't I be happy?” — Jennie Garth (38:29)

  • Jennie and Hoda agree that joy is a daily, conscious choice—often one made even (and especially) in darkness.

    “Joy is a choice. Like, we make 35,000 choices every day...opening your eyeballs...that’s a choice.” — Jennie Garth (39:18–39:27)

• Gratitude from Pain
  • Jennie recounts how even her divorce ultimately brought her to gratitude.

    “When I was going, when I was just told that I was going to be getting a divorce, my then-husband said to me, 'Someday you'll thank me for this.'...He was right.” — Jennie Garth (44:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Time | Speaker | Quote/Highlight | |-----------|---------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:00 | Jennie Garth | “Literally one minute I was playing in the cornfields...and I somehow ended up in Hollywood.” | | 09:55 | Jennie Garth | “It took staying away from the business to survive in the business.” | | 12:35 | Jennie Garth | “Who am I if I'm not this to someone, or playing this role?...I had to get very contemplative and quiet.” | | 17:54 | Jennie Garth | “All of a sudden I felt like, oh, I found people...If they can do it, I can do it.” | | 20:43 | Jennie Garth | “I had to lose my father, who is my soul mate...I had to have my marriage end after 17 years and three girls...” | | 26:15 | Jennie Garth | “In me is all those things...but it's actually in turn making you feel better. So it's just coming from a completely more like honest, real [place].” | | 24:46 | Jennie Garth | “I never knew I could choose myself until Kelly chose herself in that moment.” | | 33:33–34:53 | Jennie Garth | “That they turn out to be these really decent, self-aware, caring, kind people, I feel like my—I should get a trophy for that.” | | 38:29 | Jennie Garth | “There was a good portion of my life where I couldn't find joy...That was one of the scariest things for me—why can't I be happy?” | | 39:18 | Jennie Garth | “Joy is a choice. Like, we make 35,000 choices every day...opening your eyeballs...that’s a choice.” | | 44:04 | Jennie Garth | “When I was going, when I was just told that I was going to be getting a divorce, my then-husband said to me, 'Someday you'll thank me for this.'...He was right.” | | 37:12 | Jennie Garth | “I can choose the role I want to play in my life.” |

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Segment Timestamps

• [04:10] — Jennie’s introduction and journey from small town to Hollywood
• [05:51] — Reflecting on the break into stardom, early roles, and adaptability
• [09:37] — Surviving Hollywood and maintaining authenticity
• [13:17] — Purpose, reinvention, and Jennie’s podcast/book journey
• [17:42] — Finding belonging, mentorship, and battling imposter syndrome
• [20:43] — Facing loss, resilience, and navigating family crises
• [22:26] — Transitioning from an iconic role and the imprint of characters on personal life
• [24:46] — The impact of “I choose me” and connection with women
• [26:13] — People-pleasing vs. self-care
• [28:07] — Working with her daughter; parenting philosophies
• [33:10] — Parenting adult children and letting go
• [36:16] — Leading by example, emotional openness with kids
• [38:29] — The elusive nature of joy and choosing it daily
• [40:14] — Grief, regrets, and the lessons of listening to instincts
• [43:59] — Joy unearthed through hardship, gratitude after divorce
• [45:28] — Closing thoughts, gratitude, and celebration

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Tone & Closing

The tone of this conversation is deeply personal, supportive, and gently introspective. Both Hoda and Jennie share their vulnerabilities, quirks, and lived wisdom, emphasizing that joy is not a constant state but a resilient, daily choice—one that’s amplified after surviving loss and struggle. Jennie’s story is a testament to growth, authenticity, enduring self-love, and the transformative power of connection, both familial and communal.

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck between chapters, searching for meaning after change, or seeking reassurance that joy—though elusive at times—is always possible, even, and especially, after hardship.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

Foreign.

[Podcast Host/Moderator]

Let's get started. Who's excited to hear a fabulous conversation tonight? Thank you. Thank you.

[Hoda Kotb]

All right.

[Podcast Host/Moderator]

I've been super excited about this conversation all week. It's been a lot of fun getting a chance to spend some time with Hoda and watch her interact in person with other people. You, of course, know her from the Today show, but having that opportunity to see her in person, I don't know that I've ever seen anyone with a warmth and a passion for life and a joy that is as contagious as Hobus. And you'll see that when you're up here tonight. And without fail, every time you see someone meet her and walk away, almost every single time they'll say something like, I love her so much. So much. I love her so much. I think she might be my soulmate. It's very confusing. We're going to work through that on the podcast tonight. But we're super excited to have the opportunity to partner with her on this new podcast that stems from her brilliant new company called Joy 101. The podcast is also called Joy 101. Let's give it up for that if you have not. Absolutely. And it is so fitting that she gets to interview one of my favorite people on the planet who brought her sweet little puppy tonight. You're gonna love this as well from 9021 OMG. And I choose knee the one and only Jenny Garth. So let's get to it. Without further ado, Hoda and Jenny, come on up.

[Jenny Garth]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Hoda Kotb]

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[Sponsor Voiceover]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Jenny Garth]

Hi.

[Hoda Kotb]

Look at us together with Dottie, your dog. Hi, guys.

[Jenny Garth]

Jenni.

[Hoda Kotb]

First of all, Jenni's also one of my favorite people in the world. She is quintessential everything to me because her life is full of pivots and I admire someone who has a full bunch of different acts in her life. And Jenny Garth is that person. So, Jenny, first of all, I'm so happy you're here. Are you just randomly in France? Like, what's happening?

[Jenny Garth]

I was just passing through. Yeah, no, I was in Paris earlier. I'm doing a job there and the timing worked. When I heart family calls, you answer. You know, you do what you can.

[Hoda Kotb]

Of course you do. Who wouldn't? And by the way, can I just ask quickly about cute Dottie?

[Jenny Garth]

It's Dottie.

[Hoda Kotb]

Tell me about her.

[Jenny Garth]

She's my little girl and she. This is her new Parisian outfit. I hope you like it. She just got this today.

[Hoda Kotb]

Super cute. This podcast is called Joy 101. And anybody who I select to be on this podcast needs to exude joy. And what I've learned through the podcast and through life is when you have such high highs, often the counterpart is there as well. The people who experience the most joy, joy are the people who've been on their knees, the people who've struggled, the people who've gone through it. So I love this podcast for so many reasons, because you're walking living proof of how good life is. So I want to start with the 90210 days you went straight from like small town girl to sort of global star. Almost like that.

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

How did you.

[Hoda Kotb]

How does a kid handle something like that? How did you.

[Jenny Garth]

I don't know, honestly. Literally one minute I was playing in the cornfields and riding my pink Duffy dirt bike through the graveyard.

[Hoda Kotb]

Where'd you grow up?

[Jenny Garth]

Illinois. In very rural. All right, Midwest. Come on. Yeah. So very small town. I still have family there, but it was just by complete luck, you know, life. I've always kind of let life go where. Where it wants to go until very recently. And I still do that to a certain extent. Example, I'm here tonight.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yes.

[Jenny Garth]

But I just was always like, this is just great. Life just works itself out. And I somehow ended up in Hollywood.

[Hoda Kotb]

How? No, no, no, you don't get to say I somehow made it to Hollywood. So you were in the cornfields riding the dirt bike. And then how did you make that trek?

[Jenny Garth]

Well, my father got very ill. We lived in Illinois. The weather's very harsh, as you know, and he needed to be in a warmer, drier climate. So we moved our family caravan style. Couldn't afford a moving company. We had like our trucks and trailers full of things. And we went to Arizona. Okay. And he recovered there. And I went. Started back in high school. I started high school there, junior high in high school there. And I was just living my life. I was dancing on the. At the corner dance, it's called the dance shop. And I was teaching little girls how to tap dance, your age girls. And I ended up in a pageant for a scholarship to help my parents for college. I wanted to become a teacher. And one of the. The judges at the scholarship was the ex executive casting director for ABC Television, who had just left that and had a pivot his life and started his own management company, Talent Management in la. And he, he was there with his wife on kind of like a little getaway, but doing this for a friend. And she said to him, randy, I really think you need to talk to her. She has something. So they, they, you know, had a conversation with myself and my mother and we started communicating via tech telephone and letters in the mail. I was mail. I would do videos at my acting class that he set me up in. And we would send the VHS tapes to him and he would review them, send back his notes. And so I did that for about a year. And then he said, you know what? I think you've learned as much as you need to if you want to come out for pilot season. And so my mom, we're like, okay, let's give it a try. And we did.

[Hoda Kotb]

And 90210 was the one.

[Jenny Garth]

Knock, knock, knock. Hi, I'm here.

[Hoda Kotb]

Are you.

[Jenny Garth]

I think he panicked a little bit. But 90210 wasn't the first thing I did. I did a show called Growing Pains. One episode of Growing Pains. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was a really big episode. I was like, girl number one. And I had one line, but it consisted of one word, and that line was sticky, sticky, sticky. I don't even know what it meant. And then from there, I did a show called Brand New Life with Barbara Eden, where I played her daughter. And I was just transfixed by her and studied her every move. And that's how I fell in love with the industry and the actual occupation of acting.

[Hoda Kotb]

And so you land a role like 90210, which is incredible, but it also propels you. I mean, you remain sweet. I, I see it today, but often when a young person gets into Hollywood, they quickly go through the meat grinder somehow, and they're not the person they were. So how did you navigate that part of it?

[Jenny Garth]

I mean, I, I, I don't know how I survived, quite honestly, because I was very much thrown into the deep end, fending for myself, emancipated so that I could work longer hours. And I learned really quickly what it took to survive in the business.

[Hoda Kotb]

What did it take?

[Jenny Garth]

It took staying home. It took staying away from the business to survive in the business. So I would do my job, and then I would go home and try to have a regular life because that's all I knew how to do successfully. And even at that point, you know, I was struggling to figure out, like, who I am in the confines of this world. That's so different than where I come from. And I'd never known a famous person. I had never mingled with anyone. You know, this was all new for me. And just thrown, like, here's it, you own a house now. Here you have a car payment. You have a manager, a lawyer, an assistant. All the things.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

And it was just like kind of sink or swim. And I think a lot of the things in my life have been like that, like, thrown in. You figure it out and you sink or you swim, and I prefer to swim.

[Hoda Kotb]

Do you think it's because, I mean, because you're grounded, obviously, from your upbringing? I mean, the fact that you were trying to go to a pageant so that you could make money so that your parents didn't have to pay for school really says everything about you. So you had that kind of foundational stuff, but isn't it a slippery slope?

[Sponsor Voiceover]

Come to this party, meet this person,

[Hoda Kotb]

you know, it's just like. It's so. It must be so intoxicating.

[Jenny Garth]

It was not intoxicating for me. It was. I was afraid. And I can. I sense people's energy, and I can. I. I don't like to put myself in dangerous situations, and I have a good sense of when something could potentially not be the safest environment.

[Hoda Kotb]

Okay.

[Jenny Garth]

And so that started out for me very young, and I really did stay home. I would go to work for 12, 14, and 16 hours a day. I would go home and I would wake up and I would do it again the next day, five days a week.

[Hoda Kotb]

What was the best? Like, what did 90210 give you? What was the best thing that came out of that experience?

[Jenny Garth]

I'm here with you today. Like, if I hadn't done 9 or 21 0, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't have three beautiful daughters. I wouldn't be sitting here with Dottie talking to all of you. Like, life just takes right where you're supposed to be, and you don't understand it in the middle of the journey and all the twists and turns of it all. But as you get older, you really are able to sort of step back and look at your life from a bigger scope and see things big picture. And after I turned 50, I really started to do that, to step back and to sort of, like, think to myself, because I had spent many years struggling to figure out who I was within all of this. And who am I if I'm not this to someone, or playing this role or fulfilling someone else's needs or being a mom to these little girls? So I had a really, at some point when they started not to need me quite as much, they were getting older. I had to think about, like, who. What. What am I doing here? What. Everybody around me has this incredible purpose that they feel driven towards, and I don't know what mine is like. I know what mine has always been because someone else told me it was right, but I don't know what mine really is. So I had to get very contemplative and quiet. And I spent a couple of years doing that, and then I spent the last couple of years writing a book where I dove even deeper into. And that's one of the conversations that I love the most about having my podcast. I choose Me is that I. I want to know who you are and why are you the way you are and how did you get here? Because I think it's fascinating. I think how I got here is fascinating.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Commercial Narrator]

I'm Glenn Washington, host of Snap Judgment, the award winning storytelling podcast from kqed. Every week Snap deals a new card. Like the girl whose sister was a monkey, the man who lived in the woods for 30 years. Or the woman who snuck her lover out of prison in a dog crate. Pick a card, any card. Snap judgment from kqed. New episodes every Thursday. Wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile now. I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited

[Hoda Kotb]

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[Commercial Narrator]

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[Hoda Kotb]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Sponsor Voiceover]

of $45 for 3 months, $90 for

[Jenny Garth]

6 months or $180 for 12 month Plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes

[Sponsor Voiceover]

and fees Extra initial plan term only

[Jenny Garth]

greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy See

[Hoda Kotb]

terms I think, first of all, I think it's so interesting because I think all of us, whoever is listening or whoever's in this room with us in this moment, we've all wondered, like, are we in the right purpose? Like, sometimes, you know, when you're in flow, you feel like this must be right. Because I used to work at Dateline and I would go to Afghanistan and scary places and I always, weirdly felt like I was swimming upstream. I was fighting, but I kept thinking if I keep pushing, it's going to feel right if I keep trying. But there are times when you're putting a circle in a square, it's not where you're meant to be. And the minute I sat with Kathie Lee, and you've sat with us many times, drunky monkey, we were just, you know, throwing back, who cares? And all of a sudden I felt in flow. And not because of the booze. It was just you were in an environment that felt like home. It felt like you, you had a warm hand on your heart. It felt like you were in a resting place.

[Jenny Garth]

I felt that I'd never really felt that in the entertainment business. Be honest with you. I've always felt like an outsider. Felt like, oh, am I, is this, am I good? I don't know. I'm sure.

[Hoda Kotb]

Am I enough?

[Jenny Garth]

You know?

[Hoda Kotb]

Yes.

[Jenny Garth]

All those feelings of inadequacy and questioning. And it wasn't until I started meeting women after 50 women like you, women like other people that we met through qvc, that conference, and just I, all of a sudden I felt like, oh, I found people that are more experienced than me or have done things that I want to do in my life. And then I started to look at them as mentors, yourself included, and think like, if they can do it, I can do it. And if they can support me in me reaching those achievements as well, you know, finding those people that want to pull you with them forward to where you're meant to be, then it starts to feel right.

[Hoda Kotb]

So you're. You feel like an outsider. Everyone's, like, fangirling you, and, oh, my God, there's Jennie Garth. But you feel like you're outside looking in. You're not in the center. Like, all of those people. When did you start to feel, you know, enough or whatever the word is, like, I belong here. I'm not an imposter. I'm not a phony. I'm. I belong in this space.

[Jenny Garth]

I think it really wasn't until I found that peace within myself where I felt like I belong here. So wherever I am, I don't. I don't need to be in the IT crowd. I don't need to go to the clubs. Yeah. I don't need to be the one at the parties. I don't. Those things are just not important to me. I want peace within myself. And when I found that, and I found that by going back in my life and looking at the places where I hadn't felt that and really acknowledging them and thinking, like, is something wrong with me? Why. Why doesn't that do it for me? And I. For so long, I thought, I'm. I don't fit here for a reason. What is it? Once I figured out that the reason was because I really didn't know love myself enough to say, like, I love you. Period.

[Hoda Kotb]

Period. You know, there's so many things to admire about you, and all of the highs in your life are your greatest hits, and we all know those. But where you're formed, the part of your life that gives you your just your moxie and who you're made of, for all of us, it's when we're on our knees. Like, nobody said, oh, my God, I had this great epiphany about my life when I was drinking margaritas. No, it's like. It's usually when you lose a loved one or when you have an illness. Like, that's when you actually say to yourself, I know what I am made of because I made it through that. What did you have to make it through? What was the most difficult thing you had to go through that taught you the most about life and brought you here?

[Jenny Garth]

I had to survive the industry that I found myself in.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yep.

[Jenny Garth]

I had to lose my father, who Is my soul mate, like my mate, you know, my guy. We share a birthday and I had to have my marriage ended after 17 years and three girls, you know, just had a. My daughter got just mysteriously ill and I thought I was losing her. We were losing her. We had to go through like accepting the fact that we might lose her life. We. I've. There's just so many things like health wise and just challenges that we go through in life and losing very, very close friends far too young. You know, two of our castmates now have left us and you know, it it all the things you experience and that get you to the next place, they all make you who you are and they show you like if I survive that, right, I can survive anything. And then you have this beautiful confidence that goes with you wherever you go. So whatever room you walk into, whatever meeting you're at the table for, you feel like you belong there because you belong in your own skin.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know, it's so interesting when I think about your life because when we talk about pivots. So when you had to leave this iconic role, everyone knew you in that role. So whenever you stepped out to try anything else, didn't matter what it was, you know, your intro, it's always the same intro. So how did you kind of step into the identity you wanted that wasn't who you were? But yet it's hard when you are associated with such an iconic character.

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah, and I always will be. You know, I talk with this, with the cast of the show, original cast, like it doesn't matter where we go or what happens to us. If I get arrested tomorrow, they're going to flash a cast photo and every one of their names is going to be pulled into it. We joke about that, but it's true. And I think accepting the fact that that is one of the most, you know, important stages of my life and my self development, whether it was stunted by 10 years, which I always think it was because that world was not real. And so just trying to create a real world outside of that real world was difficult. But I really didn't do it until I was out of that environment. And I went from doing 90210 to doing a comedy. So I feel like there's. And I was terrified to do that because I thought, how do you do that? I only make people cry. Like my character gets burned and stalked and shot and all the addicted, all the things they put Kelly Taylor through, but just really embracing all of that. And also when I was writing the book going Back and looking at what an impact all of, even the characters that I've played, the things that they have gone through that my body actually process in, you know, playing that character, like it leaves a mark in you and it takes up that social battery that, you know, that's your emotional well being. So it's just really looking back at all thing to find out like what felt right and where did it not feel right and then learning to just keep going to what felt good, where, you know. There was one line in the show in 1995 that I had said. It was three words. I choose me. She was choosing between Brandon and Dylan. And I didn't really understand it then because I was just, you know, doing my job as an actress. And later in life I met women who had grown up with me. When I meet, you know, when I meet anybody on the street, they feel like they, I feel like I grew up with you. Like, I feel like I, we're friends. I'm like, we are, we grew up together. I get it. Like, I understand. But I, I found out that those women had told me I never knew I could choose myself until Kelly chose herself in that moment.

[Podcast Host/Moderator]

Wow.

[Jenny Garth]

And I felt like a little weird about it because in the next moment Kelly shows some other guy, Colin, the cokeheads in New York. But. So she really didn't follow through on that, which I'm not proud of. But I, I felt like, oh, this is something very, very important that needs to continue to be discussed and talked about and given a spotlight. And it was, it was in those little interactions with women, those connections, women that are just from the heart that I, I found my purpose that I realized. Like, because I know I've always been here to sort of teach people. Like, it's in my blood.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

And I share something. I never knew what it was and I tried to share things that didn't weren't me that I was trying to be sharing those things. When I found out, like sharing my authentic self, how that impacted other people and how they were then able to share their authentic self with me in turn, like, gates opened up. And that's when I really thought, this, this is my purpose, this kind of connection.

[Hoda Kotb]

Isn't it hard not to be a people pleaser?

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

I mean, isn't it hard? Like, because I feel like, you know, because we want people to be happy. You want people to be happy to see you.

[Jenny Garth]

I want them to have a nice.

[Hoda Kotb]

You want them to have a nice experience. You, but also you want to take care of you. So how do. Did you step out of people pleasing? Are you still in the business of it?

[Jenny Garth]

Well, I stayed home a lot.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

And especially after my divorce, I got to the point where I had to learn how to please myself. Yeah. And that's pretty much all the people pleasing I focus on now, because in me is all those things. Wanting other people to be happy and have a great experience. Those are authentic to me. It's not like I have to fulfill your needs. I'm actually fulfilling my own needs and wants. But it's actually in turn making you feel better. So it's just coming from a completely more like honest, real.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah. What are your tattoos? I didn't see on your arm. What does it say?

[Jenny Garth]

My daughter's handwriting. So it's very hard to read. She was in. She was at school at nyu and she wrote a thesis. And in. In. It was about a ritual that we always did. Every night when I would put my little girls to bed, I would kiss them on the forehead three times. And I would say, strength, courage and wisdom, these things I give to you. And it was from an India Re song. I don't know if you're familiar with such a good song. And it stuck with them. So she wrote this paper about it, and she was telling me. I said, write it down in your handwriting and I'm going to get it tattooed on my arm. And she did. And it actually looks terrible. It says. It looks like. It says.

[Hoda Kotb]

It says, no, I can't.

[Jenny Garth]

The triple heat of my ups on your. I don't know, something. Don't go to the place in Austin if you want a nice, fine tattoo. Don't go there.

[Hoda Kotb]

But by the way, I love the ritual. Forget about the tattoo.

[Jenny Garth]

And they. It's still something that they love and they want to carry on to their children, like, just filling them with that.

[Hoda Kotb]

First of all, I love the fact that your daughter's here.

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

And she is your right hand, your stylist, your everything.

[Jenny Garth]

Yes. She's a. She's 23. She's the chief creative officer for my brand. We have a fashion brand called Me by Jenny Garth, and it's exclusive on qvc. You've worn some of it, of course. And she does everything for me. And I've kind of like, say, you take care of everything, because I. I don't need to succeed. I could want her to learn how to do it. Like, I can do it. But I. You go lead the way and I'll be right here. You tell me what to do, by the way.

[Hoda Kotb]

And Also to be able to work with your daughter at this stage, I just want parenting. When you were younger, how did you keep your kids on the straight and narrow? Especially given that I'm sure there were people who were coming up to them and saying, you know, who are you? And that kind of thing. How did you, how did you take care of them?

[Jenny Garth]

Well, they really learned to take care of themselves, first of all, and which I think has made them all stronger and just intelligent and very self aware people. Lola, for example, would, I would always call her the skeptic baby because she'd be standing there and then she'd be like this look on her face like, what do you want from my mom?

[Hoda Kotb]

Like, you know, oh, that's what she.

[Jenny Garth]

But I think I just brought my morals. I was born in a very normal family, you know, and I just made that their environment, their norm. We didn't go to parties and, you know, do this Hollywood thing with them. And they knew about it, it was all around them. But it was about having dinner at night and giving each other a rose bud thorn every night.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, you did that.

[Jenny Garth]

You know, connecting with them and reading books, just being normal, you know, those

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Commercial Narrator]

Every week, the Snap Judgment podcast drops you inside someone's biggest decision. The kind of decision you can only make once. With everything on the line. What do you believe? What do you want? And what would you risk to get it? Find out. Snap Judgment new episodes every Thursday. Wherever you get your podcast.

[Jenny Garth]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Jenny Garth]

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[Jenny Garth]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Jenny Garth]

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[Hoda Kotb]

What is it like parenting adult children because you don't stop being a mom and you do. You know, I know your daughter's working with you here, and that's so interesting, but there is a whole other phase of life when it comes to parenting kids who are grown. How do you stay in their lives and also help them if they let you?

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah, well, they, they have turned into, even when they were younger, my greatest teachers. So I just am like a sponge around them, learning everything that brings them joy or makes them happier, makes them feel fulfilled or capable. And then in turn I'm like, okay, you got that from somewhere. So yeah, I must have that in me that I've offered you too. But I, I feel like as an adult, as adult kids now, they have each other in a completely different way and I don't know what they say about me when they're together, mom, you know, and I'm sure their experience is unlike other kids experiences in, in the, in the atmosphere that they've grown up and with a famous mom and an actor, father's famous too. And it's, I can't imagine what it must be like, but that they turn out to be these really decent, self aware, caring, kind people. I feel like my, I, I should get a trophy for that. Like, I, like I, I feel like I've done something very, very well when I see how well they do in the world without me. And that's the goal. But it's also very, very tricky to know when to like step back and let them make their own mistakes. And that's really difficult because there could be very large consequences for, for the mistakes that they're making out there in the real world now.

[Hoda Kotb]

I think it's so interesting that we keep like I have a seven year old and a nine year old and I'm always like telling them things. And I knew from growing up that when I learned the most was when my mom was showing me something. I don't remember very, I remember very little of what she said or talked about, but there was a moment. My mom ran her first marathon at age 60. She decided she was going to do it. And I remember it like it was yesterday because she was trudging down. It was like the Marine Corps marathons, you know, sweating to death doing it. And at mile six, by the way, she was totally wiped out. My brother, sister and I were watching her and they looked at our shoes and they were like, you have sneakers on, Go in with mom, mom needs somebody. And I ran with her that last 20, whatever miles. And I remember stopping at the bottom of the Iwo Jima Memorial just when she was running up. And we were delirious and I had a towel and I was just whipping it around and I watched her run up that hill. And I have the vision in my head and I remember my sister and brother were at the top and my sister was bawling and my brother was crying. You know, my brother said I, he was actually hungry, not crying, but whatevs, brother. But anyway, I remember that she did that.

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

And it's like when they, when we watch our mom overcome something, whatever it is, we think if she did that, then I can do this.

[Jenny Garth]

It's so valuable. And I've always, I'm the person, like I am an emotion full person. I always talk about, you know, some people try to shame you for your being emotional or, you know, to this too much or whatever. I'm an emotion full person. I feel like it's a superpower. I think we all have it. We just let it come out. But being. Being that way in front of my girls, see, letting them see me in my highs and my lows, letting them see me fall and get back up over and over again, letting them see me at 50, 51, 52, 53. Keep reinventing. Keep doing things that scare me. Keep taking chances that I've always thought I might not ever get to do that. But. And I might know somebody might not choose me for a role, but I can choose the role I want to play.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

In my life. And so they are witnessing that firsthand. And I think that that's incredibly valuable for kids to see their parents go through failures and live through them and find their feet again.

[Hoda Kotb]

Right. Instead of trying to dress it up. And it's no big deal. So you're. You're all about. This was hard. This was painful.

[Jenny Garth]

I was on the floor, and you honestly, you picked me up. Like, that's what we do for each other because we're family and we're women, and that's what we do for each other.

[Hoda Kotb]

That's what we do. That's what we do. God, I love all of that. That's what we do. This podcast is called Joy 101. I think. I personally think joy is a choice. Like, look, you're choosing it daily. I mean, you are deciding. You didn't say 090210. Boy, you know how people talk about their high school football days, and you're like, please stop talking about that. We know you won the title, but it was so long ago. Like, when I've visited with you, you rarely even bring it up. I knew I had to here. But you talk about where you are, where you're going, what your next thing is, what your next idea is, and joy must come into that. But how do you. Like, how do you find joy on. On a daily basis?

[Jenny Garth]

There was a good portion of my life where I couldn't find joy.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

And that was what that had. That was one of the scariest things for me is really, why can't I be happy? Like, why I have all this goodness, these healthy kids and this wonderful house and all the things, but I couldn't find joy, like, really joy within me. And I would see everybody else having it or finding it, and I will be happy for them. But think still, like, what's. What am I damaged Right. Something really wrong with me. And I. It wasn't until I really further explored all of the things that I found. The joy, even in the hardships. And then you pull that into the next thing and you pull that into the next thing and you're right. Like, joy is a choice.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

Like, we make 35,000 choices every day.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

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[Jenny Garth]

Starting with opening your eyeballs.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

Like, that's a choice.

[Hoda Kotb]

Right. Right. That is.

[Jenny Garth]

But if you, like, do you want to go through life feeling unhappy because I've done it. It's not fun. It sucks.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Jenny Garth]

Like, but I would much rather find joy even in the darkest times, because I know what it feels like to live in the swirl of darkness and not. And wonder. Am I ever gonna feel joy again?

[Hoda Kotb]

How. How old were you when your father passed?

[Jenny Garth]

I was 30.

[Hoda Kotb]

In your 30s? 34. Yeah, my dad. My dad passed when I was in college. Like, very shocking and surprising to have that kind of just pulled out from under you. Was your dad's passing sudden or was it.

[Jenny Garth]

He had been sick for a very long time. But I. The shocking part for me was that I had wanted to be by his side in his final days. And the person in my life was adamant that I needed to be somewhere else.

[Hoda Kotb]

Who?

[Jenny Garth]

You know, being happy when there was no chance. I was happy doing that because I was called to be with my father at a time and I was. It was a very tough decision and I chose to the wrong one. And I remember the day my dad. My mom said, you need to come today. He's not doing well. I race. I got a rental car in San Diego, California. Left my family with their dad, my girls with their dad. And I drove like a maniac to Santa Barbara by myself. And I got there moments after he died. And it's. It's like the biggest mistake of my life. Not listening to my instincts and knowing what I needed to do, you know, And I'll never. I always regret that.

[Hoda Kotb]

Do you feel him?

[Jenny Garth]

Yeah, I do. I feel. I feel my dad all the time. And I feel Luke all the time. Was another very important person in my life that suddenly passed. You know, still really very unable to accept that reality because it just. It doesn't seem real to me. No, I know it seems real to children, but I. It's when you lose someone like that so suddenly, it's hard to accept it.

[Hoda Kotb]

So life and death. I mean, it was so funny. My. My seven year old was. And we were in bed and she was saying, like, what happens after we Die. And I said, well, honey, week, you go to heaven. And she said, well, I still have diabetes in heaven. She has diabetes and it's a lot for a little kid. And I said, no, honey. She goes, we won't have that. She goes, will we all be together? And I said, yeah. And she said, will we remember this life, the one we have right now? And I said, I don't know. It may actually be so good that we don't remember this life. I'm not quite sure, but it reminded me that I would. I was never able to talk about death after my father passed because it was so painful. It's like you, it seemed unreal. Or when I. When you lose someone who you care deeply about, you don't even want to discuss, and then your little seven year old blurts something out about how we're pain free and all happy and together and all of a sudden you feel like a lightness and all of that. I. This podcast is called Joy 101. So I'm going to take us up to Joy, but will you. Let's just talk a little bit more about, like, I feel. I felt Joy won. The Knicks won. I mean, sorry, but I know that it's not. Come on. Like the Knicks winning to me was like collective effervescence. It was. My head was exploding. By the way, I took my girls, they love OG Anobi, and he was at Dick's Sporting Goods. Shout out to Dick's. And I brought my kids in the back and they were squealing like it was Disney World. And when he walked in, it was like their heads exploded. And I was thinking to myself, this is Joy. Like, I'm watching my kids watch a guy who did something incredible talk to me about when, like, I know some things are circumstances and some things are inside out. Your book choose me as a New York Times bestseller. A great, great book and it's full of life lessons. But tell me about the joy that you unearthed when, when writing that book.

[Jenny Garth]

I think it was just the joy of living the life that I've lived.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

Yes.

[Jenny Garth]

You know, I'll never forget. I'm sorry if my daughter's here hearing this again, but when I was going, when I was just told that I was going to be getting a divorce, my then husband said to me, someday you'll. Someday you'll thank me for this. And I thought, well, yeah, I don't think so. But he was right.

[Hoda Kotb]

He was right.

[Jenny Garth]

He was right. And it took me a very long time to accept that and to Believe it, you know, because I wanted that to be wrong for so long. And once I said, you know what? I think you were right. Like, we're both doing great. Our kids are great. Like, I feel like I wouldn't have the life that I have now with my new husband if it hadn't been for you disrupting things like that. And I'm actually really grateful, you know, and it's just finding, like, the gratitude in even the darkest and the hardest points in your life, finding those moments that, like, you can say that that is why I'm here thriving right now, because of that pain, you know? And that's where we find the joy to keep going. Because, yeah, there are going to be more painful moments, they're going to be more hard times, but it's about finding those little, like, connective tissue.

[Sponsor Voiceover]

Yes.

[Jenny Garth]

That can get us to the finish line.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow. Well, girl, you're not even anywhere near the finish line. You are cruising. I am so happy, Jenny, to be sitting with you. You're a dream. I'm. Oh, we bored your dog into a Snoozeville. Dottie's snoozing. It's so sad.

[Jenny Garth]

She has jet lags.

[Hoda Kotb]

She has jet lag. But I want to thank you for flying here, Denise, to be with me to Cannes. And I want to thank your daughter, too. You guys give it up for Jennie Garth.

[Jenny Garth]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Hoda Kotb]

Thank you, Jenny.

[Commercial Narrator]

Oh, my God.

[Jenny Garth]

Golly says thank you.

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Jenny Garth]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Hoda Kotb]

Guaranteed Human.