Joy 101: Pat Benatar & Neil Geraldo

Summary

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Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb

Episode: Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo
Date: July 27, 2026
Podcast: Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb (iHeartPodcasts)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Joy 101 explores joy, persistence, partnership, and the challenge of breaking barriers through the lens of legendary music duo Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo. Hoda Kotb, known for her warmth and curiosity, leads a candid, insightful conversation about their decades-long career, marriage, parenting, and the deeper meaning of joy—on stage, in life, and within family. Key themes are collective awe, resilience in face of sexism, parenting on the road, and their enduring love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Collective Awe & the Power of Music

• Opening Connection:

  • Hoda draws parallels between New York’s collective euphoria after a Knicks victory and the connective power of music and live concerts.
  • “One of the feelings I love most...is when a group gets together and feels a collective sense of awe...I want to capture that again. I want to keep that thing going.” (01:22, Hoda Kotb)

• Onstage Experience:

  • Pat and Neil describe the near-chemical joy of performing.
  • “It’s chemical...You get endorphins...They all smile together at the same time. They all put their eyebrows down at the same time.” (07:23, Neil Giraldo)
  • “For us, it’s history...All those things are going through your head really quickly as you’re performing.” (07:48, Pat Benatar)

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2. Early Lives & Musical Discoveries

• Pat’s Musical Awakening:

  • Pat recounts getting sent to the principal for singing loudly in 4th grade – hinting at her early gift.
  • “They made me go to the principal’s office...They called my parents...I thought I did something really bad.” (08:23, Pat Benatar)

• Neil’s Beginnings:

  • “Spider,” Neil’s nickname, learned guitar at six to play Italian songs for family gatherings.
  • “It felt perfectly normal...It solved all the neurosis and problems I had emotionally at that time...” (09:32, Neil Giraldo)
  • “It finds you. You’re just walking around...music and art find you.” (10:19, Pat Benatar)

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3. The Road to Success: Love, Partnership & Breaking In

• Pat’s Reinvention:

  • Left music to marry young, then returned—answering a newspaper ad and moving to NYC to try again.
  • Did not even audition for Juilliard, prioritizing early marriage (11:00).

• Forming the Duo:

  • Neil was recommended as a guitarist.
  • “When we met each other, we...it was instantaneous...He just played one chord and I knew.” (16:32, Pat Benatar)
  • Pat’s vision: Not seeking to be “the next Linda Ronstadt” but to have a true rock partnership—despite industry skepticism.
  • “I wanted to be like Keith and Mick and Robert Plant and Jimmy Page...But nobody really got it. And then...Mike Chapman got it.” (16:30, Pat Benatar)

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4. Facing Sexism & Fighting for Respect

• Industry Misogyny:

  • Pat shares that every day, “somebody was trying to stop me from doing that...condescending and...misogynistic.” (18:22)
  • Neil’s perspective on being a supportive partner:
    • “All I wanted was a great singer...Patricia was like, absolutely perfect.” (15:20, Neil Giraldo)
    • “He knew I was going to go in there with guns blazing.” (24:15, Pat Benatar)

• Crystallizing Moment:

  • Their breakout, “Heartbreaker,” took off quickly, making their talent undeniable:
    • “It happened really quickly...We were chasing it after that. It had a life of its own.” (25:38, Pat Benatar)
    • “People took it serious because we were damn serious.” (27:49, Neil Giraldo)

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5. Creative Process & Mutual Influence

• Collaboration:
  • Both emphasize mutual respect and how each pushed the other creatively.
  • “We would have done well on our own...but together, it was something entirely different.” (19:18, Pat Benatar)
  • Pat credits Neil for encouraging songwriting and finding her own voice.

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6. Parenting, Family, and Touring

• Motherhood vs. Stardom:

  • Pat unequivocally: “Oh, God, motherhood for sure. Motherhood’s like the Peace Corps. The hardest job you’ll ever love.” (33:25, Pat Benatar)
  • Brought kids on tour, built special road cases for toys and cribs:
    • “They learned how to walk in Minneapolis, Hannah was roller skating in the Forum.” (35:35, Pat Benatar)

• Coping Strategies:

  • Toured only in summers after children started school (35:38).

• Parenting Adventures:

  • Stories about getting their daughters into NSYNC and Hanson concerts via industry connections (37:20).

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7. Grandparenting: New Sources of Joy

• Wrote a children’s book based on their grandkids’ perspective.

  • “They thought everybody’s grandparents did what we did.” (39:01, Pat Benatar)

• Grandparenting described as an “illness” of joy:

  • “You are so mad for them. Crazy. Because, number one, you’re getting a second chance.” (40:01, Pat Benatar)
  • “When we get to the house...He runs right past me just to run to me with this big hug.” (41:16, Neil Giraldo)

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8. Legacy, Optimism & Defining Joy

• Inspiration for Others:

  • Pat frequently meets women moved by her example:
    • “Everywhere we go, he goes crazy because here they come...my girls. So cute.” (42:51, Pat Benatar)

• Definition of Joy:

  • Gratitude, presence, humility, and daily renewal are central.
  • “If you get to wake up the next day and breathe, that’s good. Let’s start with that.” (43:48, Pat Benatar)
  • Neil: Working to erase negative internal loops and embrace spirituality (44:10).

• Optimism:

  • “Are you optimistic, Pat, by nature?”
    • “Absolutely. I’m so full all the time.” (45:10)

• Daily Routines:

  • Pat: Creative at night, later riser (45:23)
  • Neil: Early riser, writes immediately, meals and gym before most wake (45:58)

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9. Relationship Dynamics: How To Make Love Last

• Both describe a complementary dynamic—Pat, the fierce protector of others, with Neil as her protector.
• Psychic friend told Pat: “He is the sole person whose job it is to protect me.” (47:23, Pat Benatar)
• Neil: The balance of passive/active—more passive at home, assertive in the studio.
  • “You have to have balance...we have fun, you know, we still like each other.” (49:40, Pat Benatar)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Performing Together:

  • “We’re formidable together. Because the way he played and everything, and the balance of how I was singing…it was undeniable that we had something happening.” (19:18, Pat Benatar)

• On Perseverance:

  • "I was not quitt[ing], period. Full stop." (32:19, Hoda Kotb paraphrasing Pat's spirit)
  • "It just made me crazier. I was so happy to be there. Bring it on. What do you got?" (32:40, Pat Benatar)

• On Family and Grandkids:

  • "It’s a terrible, cruel joke, you know, that you have them little for so little time. Yes. And then…when you have grandchildren...this borders on illness! You are so mad for them." (40:01, Pat Benatar)
  • Neil’s delight at being “Papa” to a grandson (41:02).

• On Partnership:

  • “It’s so easy. It’s not hard at all. We are so grateful for that. It just rolls...we just do it.” (47:34, Pat Benatar)
  • “When you walk through my [studio] door, you come in my world...This is where I live. And I’m on the cross.” (49:22, Neil Giraldo, on being assertive in work)

• On Joy:

  • “If you get to wake up the next day and breathe, that’s good. Let’s start with that.” (44:01, Pat Benatar)
  • “Most people live inside their head, not in the present...If you can erase those, that's a way to have joy every day...” (44:10, Neil Giraldo)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Collective Awe, New York, and Music: 00:11–06:03
• Onstage Experience: 06:03–07:48
• Musical Beginnings: 08:02–10:29
• Early Marriage & Turning Points: 10:29–13:20
• Partnership and Forming the Band: 13:20–19:18
• Facing Sexism in Music: 19:18–24:15, 23:46–25:14
• Success and “Heartbreaker”: 25:38–28:47
• Motherhood vs. Stardom & Parenting: 29:14–36:41
• Grandparenting & Children's Book: 38:44–41:31
• Inspiration to Others: 41:47–43:21
• Defining Joy: 43:21–45:23
• Morning Routines: 45:23–46:56
• Lasting Love: 46:56–49:56

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Closing Thought

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo embody joy—not just in awards or applause but in the resilience to insist on their vision, to parent amidst chaos, and to savor every ordinary (and extraordinary) moment together. Their story radiates humor, fight, gratitude, and enduring love.

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Closing Quote (Mary Oliver poem, read by Hoda Kotb)

“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give into it...Joy is not made to be a crumb.” (51:32)

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A rich, moving conversation reminding us joy is not an achievement but a daily practice—in music, partnership, and the moments between.

Transcript

[Neil Giraldo]

Foreign.

[Hoda Kotb]

Okay, we don't know when this is going to air, but I'm just going to talk about New York in this moment, because something has happened in the city of New York that has been life changing, game changing everything. All right? So if you're a Knicks fan or if you're not a Knicks fan, it doesn't really matter because everywhere in the city, there's been this crazy electricity, this crazy connectivity. You see a Wall street guy in a Patagonia vest high fiving a guy who's working on a truck. Like, everybody is together in this moment. And I realized one of the feelings I love most of all in the entire world is when a group gets together and feels a collective sense of awe, a collective sense of wonder, a collective sense of, oh, my gosh, I can't believe we did this. So whether you were in the West Village or in the Bronx or whether you were up in Westchester county or it didn't matter in Harlem. It didn't matter where you were. We all felt the same feeling. And I realized that's what is missing in life. People didn't watch the game in their homes. They ran down on the street to watch the game on a projector on the side of a building because they wanted to be in community. So I. I want to capture that again. I want to keep that flow going, keep that thing going. Part of the thing that we do at Joy101, my company, is we want to bring people together. We want people to look each other in the eye and hold hands and have a feeling. And the other thing that struck me about what is going on in New York is think about this. New York is a One mile island, and on that island are people from every country, every religion. They speak all the languages. And somehow we're all squeezed in on this island. And I always thought, if New York City can work, then the world can work. If everybody can live on top of each other and work, then the world should be able to work. It's just another beautiful thing about New York City. A place that I love, a place that has come alive, a place that feels kind of reborn. It's a beautiful time to. To be alive in New York City. Which brings me to my next guest. Because when I think about collective awe, I think of music. I think of. Think about your favorite concert. Think about how you felt when you're in the audience and you're sweating because it's outdoor and everyone is swaying together. And sometimes you feel like the singer makes eye contact with you. There's nothing better than that feeling. It's like, oh my God, she saw me. He saw me. One of the greatest singers on Earth is a Grammy winner multiple times over. Her name is Pat Benatar. She and her husband Neil created magic for all of us for so many years. Pat is one of those people that if you've ever seen her in concert or even heard her song on anywhere, Spotify the radio, it doesn't matter. You just feel uplifted. She defines collective awe. She and her husband combined have done things that no other musical artists have ever done well. Now Pat and her husband are not only parents, they're grandparents and they are living this beautiful life and they are continuing to sing. So I would like you to welcome to my podcast Pat Benatar and her husband Neil. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS. I've realized that joy doesn't always come from those big moments. Sometimes you find it on the most ordinary day. I'll pop into a CVS for toothpaste or paper towels and it never seems to be just a quick errand. Maybe I'll grab a delicious well market trail mix or wander over to the joyward collection. That's part of the fun. So the next time you're checking something off your to do list, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You might go in for one thing and leave with a little more joy. Visit your local CVS pharmacy sponsored by cvs. You know when you walk in a room and you take a big whiff and it sort of smells like home? Well, cleaning isn't just about making a house look clean. It's about how a home feels afterward. And fragrance can change the energy in a room. Fabuloso is known for that bold, unmistakable fragrance. A fresh smelling home can feel more vibrant, joyful and welcoming. There's something so satisfying about walking back into a room after you've cleaned it and noticing the scent make your world

[Pat Benatar]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Neil Giraldo]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Pat Benatar]

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[Hoda Kotb]

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[Neil Giraldo]

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[Hoda Kotb]

I'm so excited to talk with you. I mean, I. I was just talking at the top of this about like what it's like to be in like collective awe. And we're talking about how the Knicks won the title and how New York was that crazy. I mean, and I saw so many parallels. I was so happy we were interviewing you today because when I saw the crowds on the street and everybody in unison, everybody feeling the vibe, I mean, I was imagining your life. What it must feel like to. Well, it's not like that, but it's that feeling. It's like I get that feeling from this sporting event, concerts, when it's like a collective wow.

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Hoda Kotb]

It's amazing when you guys are on stage and you see what you've been able to witness. Only a few people get that perspective. Describe what it's like to be on stage in a moment like that path.

[Pat Benatar]

It's just. I mean, it's great because we're together. That's great. And it's. This is our 47th anniversary this year.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wait, you said 47.

[Pat Benatar]

47th musical anniversary. So we've been performing together since we were basically children and you know, and. Yeah, so it's great. I mean, he's great. He's like cranking. He's having the best time. He loves to be out there being nuts.

[Neil Giraldo]

You know, listen, it's. It's chemical. You know, it's. You get endorphins. They start coming out and you look at the crowd and just playing music and trying to be inside a song and seeing how the people react and smile. They all smile together at the same time. They all put their eyebrows down at the same time.

[Pat Benatar]

It's.

[Neil Giraldo]

It's like a. Yeah, it's an event. It's like a basketball game with more three. Three pointers.

[Pat Benatar]

And it's, it's, you know, for us, it's history. We've been together for so long, and all those things are, you know, going through your head really quickly as you're performing now, all the times that you've been there together, and it's. It's just an amazing, great feeling.

[Hoda Kotb]

And Pat, I loved hearing. I mean, I love hearing about your life, but I love the fact that the time that you knew that you could sing, you were. I think you. You described it being in fourth grade and you were finally in chorus and you belted something out. And what did. What happened in that moment that made you realize, wow, I might have something special here with these pipes because they

[Pat Benatar]

made me go to the principal's office and I thought I was in trouble, so I was like, something's happening here. My parents had a. They called my parents and they came in after work, and I was just sitting on the seat outside the principal's office, just terrified that I did something really bad. And, you know, and. Yeah, so it was just a moment. I mean, we all had that, you know, it's all. Everybody gets that moment when you kind of know that this might be something happening here.

[Hoda Kotb]

So they. They knew that you could sing. Did you just love singing or was it just something you were good at at that time?

[Pat Benatar]

I just sang all the time and too much to everyone chagrin. And same with Spider. Spider was an Italian family, Sicilian family play. And what time. When do you start? Six guitar? Six.

[Neil Giraldo]

Six years old.

[Pat Benatar]

Six years old. Because his father wanted Neil and his sister to play Italian songs after church. So, you know, you just do this from little, and it's all, you know, and it's all you want to do. And you just think it's so normal. None of it's weird, you know, it's just part of, like, breathing.

[Hoda Kotb]

So that's so funny. So, Neil, so six years old, you get handed a guitar and what happens? Did you just start playing it?

[Neil Giraldo]

Well, yeah. Well, not at first. I mean, it was difficult. Six years old, trying to play against steel and wood. You know, your fingers aren't ready for that or anything. But, yeah, my father. My parents wanted me to do these Italian songs, which were phenomenal. It was a lot of fun doing. My sister played accordion and it was just something that felt like Patricia when she started singing. It felt so right to her. Right? And since I wasn't very good at school, in school, I went to first grade when I was five years old, which was a total mistake, disaster. And when the guitar was in my hands at. It felt perfectly normal. I mean, I felt it. It really Solved all the neurosis and problems I had emotionally at that time. It just went, hey, here you are.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know, I got kind of.

[Pat Benatar]

It kind of finds you, you know? It does. It finds you. You're just walking around in the universe and music and art find you. They do.

[Hoda Kotb]

Well, I. You know, when I was reading Pat about your life and how you had this boyfriend when you were just a kid and you went and got married and decided that music wasn't going to be your thing, even though you got into Juilliard.

[Pat Benatar]

No, I didn't get in. I didn't even go. I didn't even audition because I. I didn't do it because I decided to get married at 19, like an idiot.

[Neil Giraldo]

So.

[Hoda Kotb]

So tell me about that decision. What, why. Why did you decide to do that?

[Pat Benatar]

Decided to not go to Juilliard?

[Hoda Kotb]

No, decide to get married at that. At that age. Why was that?

[Pat Benatar]

Because we were young. We were high school sweethearts, and he was going to get drafted, and I thought he was going to die in Vietnam, but he didn't. And. And I. I got married, But I needed. I needed a better last name. My last name was Polish and really long. And. And then I had a practice being married so that when I met that guy, that I would know how to behave.

[Hoda Kotb]

Okay, first of all, how cute are you? Where are you? How come you're not in the same house? Or are you upstairs and downstairs?

[Pat Benatar]

We're in our. Our separate offices.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh. Oh, you're in the same house.

[Pat Benatar]

We always do it like, this is better because I. Lighting and I don't like his lighting. We just, you know.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know, most people who've been married for this long work together, live together, do interviews together, do everything together.

[Pat Benatar]

Get.

[Hoda Kotb]

I don't know how can, Can. Can keep this up. Most, Most married couples can't put together a piece of IKEA furniture before they're like, get away from me. I need my space. What's the matter?

[Pat Benatar]

Mostly poor him, you know, I'm pretty bossy, but he's real nice and. And, I don't know. We just like each other. We still really like each other, I think.

[Neil Giraldo]

Absolutely. We laugh a lot. So.

[Hoda Kotb]

By the way, you can tell by the way, you can feel it. Okay, so. So, Pat, after you've had this. This marriage and this. And this bank teller business, you decided to go down the music road? Just tell me that story.

[Pat Benatar]

You know, we were stationed at Fort Lee, so I was. I just. I was working in a bank and going to school part time for singing, but you know, I had no intentions of really doing anything professionally. I just had given it up by that point. And I don't know, I just got, I just got sick of being, having a regular life. And I just looked in the paper and they had kind of like their, their version of the Village Voice. And it had like, you know, ads about like, singer wanted, you know, all this kind of stuff. So there was a, an ad for some band that was looking for a singer. And I just, I said, okay, fine. I went and I did it and that was it. And I just, you know, I did that for a few years and then I moved back to New York in 75, which was maybe the last time the Knicks had winning.

[Hoda Kotb]

Full circle, Full circle.

[Pat Benatar]

So.

[Hoda Kotb]

But breaking into New York ain't easy. It's not easy for anyone. And it wasn't easy for women in rock and roll during that time. So how did you crack that nut?

[Pat Benatar]

I don't know. I mean, I was just, I was hell bent on doing it and I just, I mean, I had no idea what the plan was. Spider was, you know, we call him Spider, so that's Neil, but Spider was. Spider was already playing with Rick Derringer when I met about yourself.

[Neil Giraldo]

Talk about you, Patricia.

[Pat Benatar]

But wait, I want to get the time frame. So we, when he and I met, I, I was, I had already signed a record deal. I mean, I worked for a long time. I worked from 75 to 78, and I worked with songwriters. As soon as I started working with songwriters, I wasn't writing songs yet. Um, but I, I, I started my voice, my own voice started to emerge because before that I was singing songs that were by other people. And, you know, you always have that tendency to kind of emulate a little bit. So the minute I started working on original songs with others, my voice started to emerge, but it wasn't really there yet, but the idea was there and I had the idea. And then when he and I met, it was great because he was ahead of me because he had been playing with Derringer, they were playing stadiums. I was just beginning, and the two of us together, it was just a perfect match, you know, and, you know, we basically, we basically put that band together and learned everything, you know, just the two of us. And that's how it started.

[Hoda Kotb]

So, so Neil, I mean, you know, when, when you think of a lot of these duos, they're usually two dudes. When you walked in and saw Pat and thought to yourself, am I going to be teamed up with her? What were your Thoughts?

[Neil Giraldo]

Well, I, I make a joke out of it, as Patricia knows it already. Is that when I received the call, because I just finished making this record with Rick Derringer. So I got this call to meet this singer that wanted to put a band together and, and then I didn't. I says, maybe I've heard of him before. And the, and the person said, well, it's not a him, it's a her. And the first thing I said was, she, Is she good looking? And I'm just kidding around. I'm just being like, you're only 23.

[Pat Benatar]

What were you gonna say?

[Neil Giraldo]

I'm just goofy like that. Honestly, though, honestly, you know, it was a dream come true on so many levels, right? Artistically. First level is that all I wanted was to work with a great singer. And Patricia just excelled at that. I, I even told him when we met, I says, I hope you don't believe me, and I'm the guy, not the guy responsible for destroying your voice, because there is. What we're going to do here is going to be a whole lot different than what you've been doing. So, you know, I grew up in a household where you, you, you always respect women. It was very important. My sister, I, they used to make fun of my sister. And when I'd go to school at the bus station, I, I would go there, like four years, three years younger than her. I, I'd go, if somebody gotten, like, made fun of her, I, I'd stand up for her. I'd fight them. I didn't care how big they were. So it was really important that. The respect for women. So I really didn't, honest to God, I. I didn't care. All I wanted was a great singer. Patricia was like, absolutely perfect. And she still is. Look at her.

[Pat Benatar]

She's perfect.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, my God.

[Pat Benatar]

I mean, but it was, it was kismet. I mean, when we met each other, we, I mean, it was instantaneous. We knew on so many levels. I mean, musically it was, you know, I mean, just insane. He just played one chord and I knew. I mean, I had been, you know, I've been working, like I said, for three years. And I. Everybody was patting me on the head. I was saying, you know, I want to do this. I want to be like, you know, Robert Plant. And they were saying, well, why don't you. Why don't you be like, Liv, good darling friend of ours? And, and she's having great success. And I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I mean. I want to I want to be like Keith and Mick and Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. I wanted, like that a partnership. And they were all patting me on the head, going, yes, and that. But nobody really got it. And then. But Mike Chapman got it. He knew. And he had known. He knew, Spider because he had done the record with Rick Derringer, and. And he said to me in one of the meetings we had when I was, you know, ripping my hair out about what I was trying to do, and he said, I, I, I got your guy. That's what he said. And he called. He called the record company, called him, and then he came, you know, to the. Down, to New York. Were you in Bearsville? Where were you?

[Neil Giraldo]

I was in Woodstock.

[Pat Benatar]

Woodstock. And he came down. He came down to New York to meet. We were just going to meet each other, see if we got on, and, well, the rest is history.

[Hoda Kotb]

It's so funny. You said patting on the head. Someone said that. And look, in my career over many years, there've been many of those where people are like, yes, I'll get right back. No, he's gonna do that. You're gonna do this. Just that feeling. And you're a fighter, Avi. From the beginning, Pat. But how did you hold onto what you wanted to do when I'm sure everybody said, oh, you know, Linda Ronstadt, go down this aisle, go down this road, go down that road. How did you fight that while it, how did you fight it?

[Pat Benatar]

It wasn't, I mean, it wasn't hard to do because I was so convicted and committed. I mean, I just, I had an idea, and I was absolutely positive it could work. It was difficult in the fact that every single day somebody was trying to stop me from doing that or, like, you know, just like I said, they were just, you know, condescending and, you know, misogynistic, and everybody was just like, yeah, okay, whatever, you know, that kind of thing. And so that part was a pain in the butt. Yeah, that was just annoying as hell. But, you know, when we got together and we just, you know, we were formidable together, you know, we. Because, I mean, you know, the way he played and everything, and the balance of, of how I was singing, how I was approaching the song and how he was playing, it was undeniable that we had something happening, you know, So I think that it was really. I think we would have done well on our own, each of us, but together, it was something entirely different.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know, I think we spend so much of our lives waiting for the big moments, the birthdays, the vacations, the milestones. But the truth is, some of the happiest moments show up on the most ordinary days. So like this, I'll stop into a CVS because I need one thing. Somehow the best part of the trip is never the thing I came for. So maybe I'll grab a delicious well market snack. Or maybe I'll wander over to the Joyward Collection. It's really full of fun, cool seasonal decor, thoughtful little gifts, and those little discoveries that make you so glad you stopped in. I have to tell you, if you're an extra care member, you're going to save on things you're already buying. And those extra bucks really do add up just watching that total go down at the checkout and never, ever gets old. I know life's busy. We're all juggling a lot. And that's why I think those little unexpected moments of joy matter so much. So the next time you're running errands, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You may go in for something you need, but don't be surprised if you leave with something that simply makes your day a little brighter. Visit your local CVS pharmacy sponsored by cvs. There's a difference between a home that's simply clean and a home that feels alive. Scent's got a way of changing the mood of an entire space and even the people in it. After cooking, the kids running around, pets, laundry, busy schedules, people want their homes to feel refreshed. Fabuloso transforms cleaning from just another chore into something sensory and uplifting with its big, bold, unmistakable and long lasting fragrance. Walking into a freshly cleaned room with that signature scent can instantly make things feel calmer, brighter and more welcoming. Make youe World More Fabuloso is about creating a home environment that feels vibrant, joyful and full of life. It's those little everyday moments. Wiping down the kitchen, freshening up before guests arrive, resetting the house after a long day that can completely shift the mood of a home. Make your world more Fabuloso what's up fam?

[Pat Benatar]

I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up y'?

[Neil Giraldo]

All?

[Pat Benatar]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Hoda Kotb]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together.

[Pat Benatar]

And I heart women's sports because, let's be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Hoda Kotb]

So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Pat Benatar]

My first thought with the snacks, like what are we? What are we eating the highlights, the

[Hoda Kotb]

rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that

[Pat Benatar]

take over your entire timeline, and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Hoda Kotb]

Naomi Osaka showing out.

[Pat Benatar]

She beat Sabalenka. Shout out to you, Naomi, you get the Palm. Naomi, you get the Palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened, we're interested in and why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Hoda Kotb]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Pat Benatar]

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Hoda Kotb]

know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Pat Benatar]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast.

[Hoda Kotb]

Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

[Pat Benatar]

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Hoda Kotb]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it.

[Pat Benatar]

Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

[Neil Giraldo]

Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song.

[Pat Benatar]

I remember you thinking that.

[Hoda Kotb]

Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Neil, did you see any of the sexist stuff toward Pat? Did you witness it?

[Neil Giraldo]

I mean, it wasn't it. I was used to it because of my sister. You know, people making fun of her, just being, you know, looking at her as a. Is whatever, looking down. I didn't like that. I. I said something. I did things. I mean, I. I wasn't happy about it. And I just tried the channel and keep ourselves so tight. Patricia and I and the band keep it so tight together. I wouldn't let anything and, you know, infiltrate that because he knew.

[Pat Benatar]

He knew I was going to go in there with guns blazing. He knew that. He knew me. He knew what was going to happen when they did it. I mean, I would go into the radio station, you've probably heard the story. I would go into the radio station, you know, they would only have one token female on the playlist for the day or the week, whatever you. Just one, you know, and I would go in there, and before I would go in our wreck, our record, the record company rep or the manager would say to me, don't. Don't give him the finger. And I go, okay. I would come out and I would be smiling because the. Well, I guess I can't swear, but the. A hole of music director said, why don't you just sit down right here and. And we'll see if we can get that record played. And so of course I was like, yeah, right. You know, like, that's it. So I came out and they would go, you did it, didn't you? I. Yes, I did. So, I mean, Spider knew I was not going to take any crap from anybody.

[Hoda Kotb]

So what was the moment when people took you seriously? I know that your music was great. You had. I mean, everyone knows you, Pat, because when in fact, I was at the gym this morning, I'm interviewing Pat Benatar and guys who were in their 30s and guys who were in their 60s were. Or all like, Pat Benatar, like something. There was a moment where everything crystallized for everybody. How it affected all these generations, I don't know.

[Pat Benatar]

I mean, it was. We were chasing it. Don't you think, Spy that we were chasing it? I mean, we were. It was. Ha. It happened really quickly. The. When Heartbreaker was released, you know, we knew we had it. I think that when we recorded the song, the minute we were. The minute we had. They were rehearsing it. And then when we did the first take, we knew we had it. And I just think that we were chasing it after that. We were running behind it. It had a life of its own. It took off and, you know, it went from clubs sold out and people out in the street to, you know, the next thing was arenas, and the next thing you know, it just kept going. So we were chasing it. I mean, it happened really quickly. And, you know, that. That pretty much convinced everyone.

[Neil Giraldo]

You have to go behind a curtain which you. Which you don't know. A lot of people don't know is that when we started working together, we worked really hard, Patricia and I. And I would tell her all the time about, you know, because what I do is I. I don't look as a. I don't think of myself as a guitar player. I think of myself as a musician and a Songwriter, producer, and I only use it as a tool. I started playing piano when I was 11. I started playing drums when I was 13. So when we met, I basically was telling Patricia, and don't you want to write your own song? Let's write our own stuff and let's build this. This thing up. And. And she listened and she. And that's the whole beauty of this. She was such a great. Early on. You got to understand a great student in that. Because what she was doing prior was a lot different than when we got together, when we joined. Right. Our. Ourselves together. And I had total respect for her at all times. And. And I. When I heard her sing, I knew that we can do anything. We could do absolutely anything we wanted, which was perfect for me, because I want to explore all these genres. So when it started happening, people took it serious because you know what? We were damn serious. They were going to mess with us. And that's the way it is, you know? Yeah. People say stupid stuff, and they did, and at radio stations and things like that, but that. That stopped.

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah, it stopped right away. It did, yeah, it did, yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

Success works. Pat, would you have. Do you think you would have made it without Neil?

[Pat Benatar]

It would have been different for sure. I mean, because we. We started that first record. We started in the Heat of the Night, and we had recorded six songs that, that. That did go on the record that you all know. But what. What happened? I mean, we recorded it with some of the top musicians in New York, studio session people and great, great players. I mean, amazing. And I just remember standing there just like, thinking to myself, oh, God, this is not it. This isn't it. And I remember that Terry Ellis, who's the president of the record company, when we had done the six songs, and I. I knew. I knew it was wrong. I knew it. And he said to me, you know, it's the first time. I don't want you to expect too much. And I said, what? I expect everything.

[Neil Giraldo]

He already knew, though.

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah, but he knew, too. And we scrapped it. And that's when Mike Chapman called him. We recorded them again, the ones that we kept, and it was a whole other thing. And that was it. And once we. Once we played together, that was. It was exactly what I had been hearing in my head. So I knew we had it. He knew we had it. I mean, we were just. I don't know. It was just. It was a thing.

[Hoda Kotb]

It was. You know, and at the peak of all of this stuff, you find out at one point, Pat, that you're pregnant. And I found it so interesting that the record label was like, cool. Glad you're pregnant anyway.

[Pat Benatar]

No, they were not cool.

[Hoda Kotb]

They were like the opposite of this is what you're doing anyway. Tell me about what that was like.

[Pat Benatar]

It was ignorant. It was ridiculous. I mean, we had been. You know, we've been together. We were together since 1979, and we have been trying to. You know, we got married, which they hated. You know, I mean, they tried to. They. The minute they realized that this was going to. This was going to be an unholy alliance, they loved it. Until they realized that we were so tight that this was going to be a problem from now on. And they tried to destroy our relationship right from the beginning. I mean, they.

[Hoda Kotb]

What do you mean?

[Pat Benatar]

Mean? Because they didn't want. They thought that if they could, if he was not there, they would be able to control me better, which was a mistake, I mean, because that wasn't going to be true anyway. But the fact is, they were so dumb. I mean, they were so happy that we had done all this great work, but then they realized that they had no more control when we got married. They were furious that we got married, but, you know, what were they going to do? So. But they were really furious when I got pregnant.

[Hoda Kotb]

That is insane, by the way.

[Pat Benatar]

I was so ignorant. And they. I remember the manager calling me up and saying, why would you do something like this? And I was like, what are you guys, nuts? I mean, you got to remember the time of the world.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Pat Benatar]

I mean, the only other person I knew that was doing what we were doing was Chrissy Hinde. And I saw her backstage when she had Natalie, and, you know, it was. It was me and her, and she. I said to her, how are you doing this? She goes, I'm not. I mean, it was just. There was no handbook for this. You know, one of. Usually one of you stayed home with the baby, you know, whatever. And now both of us were there. We never. Once. We had Haley, our first child, our first daughter. We never toured without our kids. We toured with our kids.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Pat Benatar]

So it was nuts. But, I mean, you had to just. We were winging it, and we had no idea what we're doing. We had fun, though.

[Neil Giraldo]

Yeah. You know, the. The. The manager being mad. I. You, You. You could see that side of. Of where they were at, because think about two things. Money and control. Which one's more important? So what they decide. What they decided was. They decided was control was more important. But then when they realized that, wait a Minute, if we get control, we don't get creative. Because if I can't do what I do best by trying to make those songs that we write or whatever, to make them hits, they looked and went after. So after we. After we got married and everything, it changed. And things definitely changed when they realized we still can make a lot of money from them. Hell with the control. It's just control and money and they

[Pat Benatar]

were never going to win. We were relentless. And that was. I mean, they just. It was a fight. They were never going to win, so. But they tried. They did try.

[Hoda Kotb]

This spirit girl is so intoxicating. You have like, you know what? It's so clear to you. You're like, no, I was not quitt, Period. Full stop. Were there ever any moments where the sexism, the manager, anything got to you to a point where you were saying, pat, you know what? Like, this is too much,

[Pat Benatar]

because it made me so. I mean, I was so feisty anyway, and I just got crazier and it just made me crazier. I mean, I was. Don't forget, I sang classical music and musical theater for most of my life before this. And I was a nice girl from Lindenhurst, Long island, who sang and had a great time and loved theater and all that. And then, you know, I want. Because inside was always this, you know, and so once I. Once I drug it out, one spider drug it out, we. I knew that was it for me. I was so happy to be there. And I was like, bring it on. What do you got? What else you got?

[Hoda Kotb]

What else you got?

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

So what's. What was harder, motherhood or being a music star?

[Pat Benatar]

Oh, God, motherhood. For sure. Motherhood's like the Peace Corps. Do you remember the old slogan, the hardest job you'll ever love? This is it. Okay, this is not for the faint hearted, okay? We got two monster daughters who are just, you know, they're coming from here. You know what I'm saying? And they were just raised right. They're crazy. And, you know, it was. It's nuts. And he's the greatest. He's so good. He's such a great girl. Dad. He's like, amazing. He did great. It was like a nightmare.

[Hoda Kotb]

How did you do it?

[Pat Benatar]

Fabulous. They're fabulous. I mean, they're such great women. They're just great. I mean, they're so centered and solid and just, you know, just feisty. It's sweet. And I mean, I couldn't ask for better.

[Hoda Kotb]

How did you guys do it? I mean, how did you parent on the road. How did you do it with this wild lifestyle? How did it work?

[Pat Benatar]

I wish I could say a lot of alcohol, but no, no. I don't know. It was. We were together. I mean, listen, we could not have done this, I swear. I mean, like I said, most people. One of you is staying home. You know what I mean? One of you was in the band. The other one was not. You know what I mean? We were in the band. I mean, it was insane. We had the best. One of the best things that ever happened. I mean, we were dragging. You know, we had road cases that were built for their toy boxes so we could bring their favorite toys. I was. I have ocd, so I'm like a lunatic. So I wasn't putting them in cribs in the Four Seasons. I was getting. You know, I was having road cases built for my cribs that I was bringing. You know, so we were dragging all this crap with us all the time, and it was insane. But, you know, they learned how to. Haley learned how to walk in Minneapolis, Hannah was roller skating in the Forum. You know, inside the. I mean, they were riding their bikes inside, you know, Madison Square Garden. They were riding their bikes, you know, doing all kinds of crazy stuff like that. And so they had a great time. They learned how to swim. We were in swimming pools everywhere across America. You know, they were having the best time ever. And they loved their bunks. They would get in the bus and they would decorate their bunks.

[Hoda Kotb]

Okay. How did they go to school? How did all that work?

[Pat Benatar]

We only. We only toured in the summer once we had children and they were old enough to be in school. We only toured in the summer because I wasn't.

[Neil Giraldo]

That. We did. We did do it for one short period of time, and that was a disaster. Disaster.

[Pat Benatar]

When they were little.

[Neil Giraldo]

Yeah, well, when our oldest was little, the first one. So we realized that that's not going to work now.

[Pat Benatar]

We just said we went in the summer, but the bet. One of the best days I ever had, because knowing. And, you know, you were just kind of on your own and, you know, there's not a lot of. You're not. Even though you have a lot of. I mean, you know, people. You have you. You know, people in the music business, but you're really not really hanging out that much because you're working. So are they. One day we pull up to a hotel, and I see this. This bus and I see these people unloading baby walkers and all kinds of stuff. And I'm thinking, who is that? Because I. You know, our kids are bigger now. And I was thinking, oh, God, I'm so glad that's not us anymore. It was Bruce. Bruce and Patty were dragging all these out of their butts. We're like, high five and we're done. All right.

[Neil Giraldo]

Good time with that.

[Pat Benatar]

We were laughing. Oh, yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

What did Haley and Hannah think of mom and dad, like, when you were on stage, do you have any memories of them watching or when they were

[Pat Benatar]

little, they loved it because they could play and they could go everywhere and do stuff. But, you know, the minute they, like, turn, like, 12, 13, when they start being embarrassed that you're, like, breathing, you know, this was. This was the worst. I mean, this was like, oh, just until Haley was really the worst. Hana was a little bit easier because she was the baby, and it was later, but Haley hated it until she found out we could get her into sea and sink backstage.

[Hoda Kotb]

By the way, that's so brilliant.

[Neil Giraldo]

I did. I did NSync. Yeah. And you know, the. The.

[Pat Benatar]

I had to do Hanson, please.

[Neil Giraldo]

I know the great. The great NSYNC story is I took him to see NSync, our oldest. And when I got there, a lot of the crew people knew me from being on the road.

[Pat Benatar]

Hey, how you doing?

[Neil Giraldo]

Nice to see you. Everything. The sound man, all the technical. Hey, how's it going? So next thing happens is she's got great seats.

[Pat Benatar]

She's in the pit. She's there.

[Neil Giraldo]

She's in the pit in the front. She looks over, she can see me on the side of the stage and she's going, what? They just put me on the side of the stage. She was so mad.

[Hoda Kotb]

I love it. By the way, every time you say Haley, my heart skips because I happen to have a nine year old named Haley.

[Pat Benatar]

Oh, nice.

[Hoda Kotb]

I adopted my two kids. I have a seven year old named Hope and a nine year old named Haley. And every time you say Haley, like, I get the warm fuzzies. Why'd you pick that name, by the way? Was it just because that was Patricia

[Neil Giraldo]

picked that I picked her middle name? I don't even call her Hayley. I call her Gina.

[Pat Benatar]

Her middle name is Gina, so we call her Gina. But people say, oh, you have three daughters. Haley, Gina and Hamna.

[Neil Giraldo]

I don't know.

[Pat Benatar]

Hayley is Gina. That's like crazy. But no, I was. I don't know. You know, it wasn't Hayley Mills, who I love, but it wasn't that. I just.

[Neil Giraldo]

I don't know.

[Pat Benatar]

It just came and I picked it. I don't know.

[Hoda Kotb]

Same, same. I had the same thing. So I read your very cute book about being grandparents.

[Pat Benatar]

Oh.

[Hoda Kotb]

So I thought that was the first of all, the cutest concept in the world. You've got three grandkids. Is that right?

[Pat Benatar]

Three.

[Hoda Kotb]

I mean, so they. What did they think that all grandparents were rock stars? Is that kind of what they thought?

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah, our oldest. Our oldest, Stevie, who's now 8 when we started the, you know, it takes a long time to get the book published and all that stuff. But she was 4 when we started, and when we were just talking one day and she was asking, you know, does Evelyn R's grand grandma go on stage? And I said, no, I don't think so. You know, and she said, what about her papa? Does he play guitar? And I'm like, no. Like. So then we realized that she. That their scope of. They thought everybody's grandparents did what we did. So we started having the conversation that, oh, no, no, no. People do different things and they don't look like us. You know, Papa's got tattoos everywhere, and people don't have that all the time and, you know, all these kinds of things. So that's how the book was. The concept for the book was born. But that was because of the conversation with her.

[Neil Giraldo]

She narrates the book.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, she does.

[Neil Giraldo]

She's like, hi.

[Pat Benatar]

Yeah, that's her. That's Stevie.

[Neil Giraldo]

Yeah, that's Stevie.

[Pat Benatar]

It was really fun to do.

[Hoda Kotb]

What is the best part of being grandparents? What do you love about that?

[Neil Giraldo]

What's not to love?

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah, there you go.

[Pat Benatar]

Everything. I mean, you have kids, so your kids are little, and you see how fast it goes. Okay. You know, it's over in a blink. It's. It's just. I mean, it's. It's a terrible, cruel joke, you know, that you have them little for so little time. Yes. And then what happens is. And you love your kids and everything you do and everything. And then when you have grandchildren. No, this is illness. This is. This borders on illness. Okay? You are so mad for them. Crazy. Because a number one, you're getting a second chance. Okay? And you can't believe you have little babies and little children in your life again. And it's not somebody else's kids, they're yours. You know what I mean? It's not like there's somebody's kid in the park and you're like, oh, I'm holding a bit. No, they're your baby. This is your baby.

[Neil Giraldo]

Here's the difference, too, though. The difference is really important to Know is that. And it's simple, and it's obvious that, you know, when you're a parent, you're around your children all the time, day and night, right? The grandparents aren't there, so when you do come. Which we're there a lot.

[Pat Benatar]

We're there a lot.

[Neil Giraldo]

And my. My favorite. When we finally got the boy, the grandson. So Cash. I call him Cash. So when we. When we get to the house and I open the door and he goes, papa. I go, cash. And Patricia's in front of me.

[Pat Benatar]

I'm like this. He runs right past me, running right

[Neil Giraldo]

by me just to run to me with this big hug. And since he's the boy, I could give him, like, that real kind of strong, masculine power, you know? It's so fantastic, by the way.

[Hoda Kotb]

That is so awesome.

[Pat Benatar]

Awesome.

[Hoda Kotb]

That is awesome. Pat, I'm just thinking about how many people. You know, I was reading the story about you when you were young and you went to a stadium and saw Liza Minnelli sing, and it kind of lit you up. You were like, man, I could do that. Is that kind of how that went down?

[Pat Benatar]

Yes. I mean, I was with my. With my fabulous gay friends, of course, and they said, you want to go? And I said, sure, let's go. So we went. And the thing that happened, I. You know, I love her. She's great. That was. But that wasn't it. The thing that happened is we were inside the Coliseum, and the Coliseum was empty, and I was looking at all those seats, and I was looking around, thinking to myself, huh. I can say at least as good as her. You know what I mean? Like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I can do this. So that's what it was. I mean, it wasn't that we. It would have. It could have been anybody. I mean, I'm happy it was her, because she's a doll, but, I mean, it was. It had nothing to do with that music. It wasn't about musically. It was about the. That I could see. I had the presence of mind to think, like, wait a minute. I can. I can do this. I could, right? You know, and that just started the whole thing. And I had no plan. I had no plan. I just, you know, had a lot of, you know, just chutzpah. And I don't know how many people

[Hoda Kotb]

have come up to you, I can only imagine, and said, oh, my gosh, Pat, because of you, I did this.

[Pat Benatar]

Or because of you, I did that all the time. Yeah, Spider dies. Because they're always, like. I call them my Girls, my girls, all the time. Everywhere we go, he goes crazy, because here they come. Come on. You know, like, so cute. I mean, they're just darling. And. Yeah. I mean, it's really. It's amazing. And I. And I would. I would love to take credit, but it was, you know, it was a whole movement. It was the time of the world. I mean, it was where America was going. Everybody was in the same mindset. So just right place at the right time, and there were lots of us going at the same time. So it was great. It's great to be part of it.

[Hoda Kotb]

This podcast is called Joy 101. It's something about. I mean, to me, there's a lot of things that can bring happiness, and those are all external, and they come and go. It's like, I'm happy, and now I'm back to me. And joy, to me, is something when you sort of just like, open your eyes in the morning and you look around and nothing's happened, but you feel full. You feel like you need gratitude. Yeah. Tell me what it means to you. Yeah, Yeah.

[Pat Benatar]

I mean, right?

[Hoda Kotb]

Don't you think?

[Pat Benatar]

Spy gratitude. I mean, just absolutely being grateful. I mean, you know, for me, it's always like. My whole thing is like, if you get to wake up the next day and breathe, that's good. Let's start with that. You know what I'm saying?

[Neil Giraldo]

Every day is.

[Pat Benatar]

I'm 73 years old. I'm like, every day is a good day. You know, that kind of thing. So, yeah, yeah. Second chance.

[Neil Giraldo]

It's important.

[Hoda Kotb]

Second chances.

[Neil Giraldo]

The second chance. Is this the second chance. What I mean by this is that a lot of people live inside their head. Most of the time they're not living in the present, it. In the moment. And a lot of things spin in their head, goes over and over again. So if you can erase those, that's a way you can have joy every day and beauty every day and be humble and grateful. Those are the things that are important as far as you take your breath. When you wake up like that, it's. It should feel special and real to you. But a lot of people struggle, you know, because they keep that internal loop going, and it's not a good one sometimes. So it's. It's a lot of spirituality you kind of need to address, and that's. That's the. That's where your joy comes. True spirituality. You could work on yourself and try to be.

[Pat Benatar]

And the truth is, you know, stuff happens. I mean, it's not like we had Perfect lives we had, we had lots of stuff, you know, lots of stuff, career wise, lots of stuff, personal, family, all this kind of stuff. And things happen. It's not going to be perfect. It isn't. But, you know, if you can just get through it, if you can get through, get on the other side, you get another chance.

[Hoda Kotb]

Are you optimistic, Pat? By nature, absolutely.

[Pat Benatar]

I'm so full all the time.

[Hoda Kotb]

So tell me, give me a, Give me how you start your day and how you end your day.

[Pat Benatar]

Well, Spider gets up three hours, she's

[Neil Giraldo]

asking you the question. You tell, you talk to, you just.

[Pat Benatar]

I know, but I always make the timeline. Like, I don't sleep, I don't sleep at night. I'm a lunatic. So I go to bed really late. So I get up at like 7 or 7:30. He gets up really early, so he gets his day going. And you know, I stay up all night because that's when I do my thinking, my writing, my all. That's. We're in opposite schedules. But you know, it's just, you know, you just wake up and you just start your day and it's always, it's always chaos, it's nuts, it's crazy. But it's good.

[Hoda Kotb]

I mean, Neil, do you have a rhythm? What do you do? What's your morning routine?

[Neil Giraldo]

I do. I wake up because I want to be awake. That's the real difficult time, me, because everybody's sleeping and it gives me. Here's the, here's the philosophy behind it. If you, if you wake up and it's dark and you go to sleep when it's stark, you get two nights in every day. So if you think about that, right, so what? My routine is very simple as I wake up because I want to be awake and I start writing right away. I start writing. I drink green tea first. First thing in the morning. I. Since I found out I had silent reflux because I'm drinking too much caffeine. I used to drink like 15, 20 cups.

[Pat Benatar]

The only party that's.

[Neil Giraldo]

Yeah, yeah, a lot of green tea. And I drank too much of it, so I don't do that anymore. But that's the routine. I do that. And then a couple hours later I wake Patricia up and by then I'm ready to go to the gym. I may hit the gym. And I eat three breakfasts. And I'm ready to eat three breakfasts.

[Hoda Kotb]

I love it.

[Pat Benatar]

He's Sicilian. He's starving. All right. Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

And lastly, tell me about the joy in relationship. I mean, you guys put it on display. I mean, quite frankly, anyone who's looking at this knows what is it about? Because. Because you have to have that in between. It's not what you are, Pat, and what you are, Neil. It's what I'm seeing between you two. So how do you preserve that over all those years? Let me start with Pat.

[Neil Giraldo]

What did you just learn, Patricia, from your. The psychic friend? What did you find out that would be helpful? You can.

[Pat Benatar]

That we are. We are contracted together.

[Neil Giraldo]

Who's the what. Who's the protector?

[Pat Benatar]

You are.

[Neil Giraldo]

Okay. No, go ahead. So.

[Pat Benatar]

So as fierce and crazy as I am, the one thing I. That we just had, we had a real. A good friend who is a psychic. So we just do. It's like a greeting was really fun. And she just said that because I don't. Because I'm so worried about taking care of everybody else, that the person I take care of the least is myself. And that's pretty much true. So she said that he is the one, that he is the sole person whose job it is to protect me. So. Because I don't. I don't spend any time protecting myself. I'm protecting everybody else. So it's just a perfect match. And it's not. I swear to God, it's so easy. It's not hard at all. And I, you know, and I'm. We are so grateful for that. I mean, it's so. It just rolls, you know, it's not like I'd love to take credit. He'd love to take credit, where it's not like we have to have some kind of insight or some brilliance about how to do this. We just do it. And it's a lot.

[Neil Giraldo]

I can add to this. I can add to this. And that is. I used to believe that one person had to be passive, the other one assertive. But that was wrong. I. I realized that was wrong. It took me a long time to realize because I'm 70 years old and I figured it out years ago. Right. So, yeah, you know, so. So passive and assertive. And in the family life, I am very passive. That doesn't mean I'm not assertive in taking kids, but just passive, you know, I don't go ahead, have a great life. I. I don't interfere. I don't want to. I just want to be that guy, and I want to be. I want to have a good time passive. But as soon as you open that studio door, assertive happens. And she'll tell you, guarantee, when you walk through my door and you come in My world. This is my. This is where I live. And I. I'm on the cross.

[Pat Benatar]

I am on the cross.

[Neil Giraldo]

I put myself there, too. So very assertive. But I've learned that you. You need to have balance. Except in the studio, I'm keeping that as a sort of the other part. The other part, you have to be. You have to. A little. You have to have a balance to it. But again, I don't know.

[Pat Benatar]

We have fun, you know, we still like each other.

[Neil Giraldo]

It comes down to confrontation. You know, I don't want to raise my voice. I'll direct the issue. I will talk about it, but I'm not a. I'm not an instigator. I don't want confrontation. I just don't want it. I don't have time for it.

[Hoda Kotb]

What did you say? Pat? You're the one. Pat's mouthing. She's the one.

[Neil Giraldo]

He's insane.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah. This was a delightful conversation. I want to say thank you. Love you guys. You guys are going on tour, so you're gonna be. We're gonna post where that is and all of those details. So thank you again, so much, man. I admire so much about you.

[Pat Benatar]

Thank you. Laugh with this. It's so fabulous.

[Neil Giraldo]

Joy is good. I like this. I like this.

[Hoda Kotb]

Thank you, Neil. Have a good one, guys.

[Neil Giraldo]

You too. Thank you.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow, that was an awesome conversation with Pat Benatar and her husband Neil. You know, it's so funny. I know her as a singer. I knew him as her husband and fellow musician, but I learned so much more about them. I think what was their relationship is kind of what cracked open to me, and how after she's 73 and he's 70, and they've been together for decades, just how they keep it alive and how they keep it fresh and how they keep it interesting. I mean, and I like how they find joy. They are just. I mean, you know, when you look at someone and you're like, I want what they're having. Like, that's sort of what I feel like when I'm listening to them speak, both of them. I always admired Pat Benatar, and now I admire her husband equally. So, wow, what an awesome conversation. I hope there was a lot you took away. There's a ton I took away from them. And just how they find joy, how they find joy in the everyday, which is amazing.

[Pat Benatar]

Okay.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know, I like to end with a poem, and I love me some Mary Oliver, so I'm gonna do a little Mary Oliver. This one is called Don't Hesitate if you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don't hesitate. Give into it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise and not very often kind, and much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it the instant when love begins. Anyway, that's often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. That is a poem by Mary Oliver. I want to thank you guys for listening to this podcast. We'll have many more good ones ahead. This is an I Heart podcast.

[Pat Benatar]

Guaranteed human.