Keith Robinson

Summary

Summary of "Joy" Podcast Episode: Keith Robinson

Podcast Information:

• Title: Joy, a Podcast
• Host: Craig Ferguson
• Guest: Keith Robinson
• Release Date: July 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of "Joy," host Craig Ferguson welcomes comedian Keith Robinson to discuss the complexities of finding joy amidst life's challenges. Keith opens up about his personal struggles, including enduring two strokes, and how he has transformed these experiences into a source of humor and resilience in his stand-up career.

Personal Health Journey

Keith Robinson candidly shares his harrowing experience of surviving not just one, but two strokes. He describes the initial onset and his instinctive response to take control of the situation.

Keith Robinson (06:10): "You don't just have one stroke, cuz. You got to compare it to something."

He recounts the terrifying moment of his first stroke:

Keith Robinson (07:12): "Like, one morning, for the first stroke, I woke up, right. And I was leaning, walking to my apartment. Leaning. Something's going on."

Despite the alarming symptoms, Keith's determination led him to drive to Philadelphia to seek medical assistance, demonstrating remarkable bravery.

Keith Robinson (07:50): "But I woke up, I was leaning and I'm like, okay, let me go to Philadelphia and drove from Jersey to Philadelphia till I get my passport."

Resilience and Recovery

Keith details his month-and-a-half hospitalization, highlighting the rigorous rehabilitation process he underwent to regain his mobility and speech.

Keith Robinson (13:03): "A month and a half? Were you in a bed for a month and a half?"

Keith Robinson (13:17): "But I, you know, my vision was blurry and all that. But I took a couple of more aspirins... drove back home."

His unwavering fighting spirit is evident as he refuses to let his strokes define him, showcasing his commitment to return to the stage.

Keith Robinson (37:48): "For everything. You know, the stroke and all that. You have that fighting spirit."

Comedy as a Coping Mechanism

Turning adversity into art, Keith explains how comedy became his sanctuary, allowing him to process his experiences and connect with audiences on a deeper level.

Keith Robinson (50:28): "We dare to do whatever."

He reflects on his first performance post-recovery, sharing the anxiety and triumph he felt stepping back onto the stage.

Keith Robinson (26:10): "Well, that's what my thing was like."

Keith Robinson (38:15): "I'm on stage now."

Interactions with Fellow Comedians

The conversation delves into Keith's interactions with other prominent comedians, including anecdotes about Wanda Sykes and Carrot Top, revealing the camaraderie and challenges within the comedic community.

Craig Ferguson (04:10): "Do you remember that?"

Keith Robinson (28:56): "She used to be roommates with me."

Personal Reflections and Insights on Joy

Throughout the episode, both Craig and Keith explore the essence of joy, emphasizing the importance of resilience, humor, and maintaining a positive outlook despite life's inevitable hardships.

Craig Ferguson (52:02): "It's so romantic. And the fact that they had to, like, you know, lift you out of the [hospital]. It's just fabulous."

Keith shares his philosophy on overcoming obstacles and finding happiness through laughter:

Keith Robinson (45:47): "Comedy probably saved me from a lot of... You know, on these streets and all that. Yeah, I didn't do comedy."

Conclusion

Craig Ferguson concludes the episode by lauding Keith Robinson's ability to transform personal tragedy into compelling comedy, underscoring the profound connection between joy and resilience. The conversation leaves listeners inspired by Keith's strength and dedication to finding happiness even in the darkest of times.

Craig Ferguson (52:33): "I can't tell you how impressed I am with... the fact that... you processed this and still turned it into comedy is just... outstanding."

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This episode of "Joy" serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity to find light in darkness, with Keith Robinson embodying the perfect blend of humor and strength. His story is not just about surviving strokes but thriving through them by embracing joy and sharing it with the world through his comedic talent.

Transcript

[Craig Ferguson]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Keith Robinson]

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[Unknown]

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[Craig Ferguson]

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well it's actually about an hour and a half and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But but what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while anyway. Come and see me live on the pants on Fire tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the Tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond. For a full list of dates, go to thecraigfergusonshow.com See you on the road, my dears. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interesting people about what brings them happiness. Hello, my name is Craig Ferguson. Welcome to the tent here in the Kids super studios in Williamsburg, Brooklyn where we record the Joy podcast today. My guest on the podcast is one of the stalwarts of the New York slash Philly, but more really New York. I think of him as New York. He's from Philly, but. Well, you'll hear all about it. He's a great comedian and as you are about to see, if you don't already know, he's got a stand up special on Netflix called Different Strokes about his strokes, which he folded into his comedy in a way which I have nothing but admiration for. He's a great comic, a very funny man. Keith Robinson, everybody. I was thinking, do you still, still see Wanda? I haven't seen Wanda in forever.

[Unknown]

All the time.

[Craig Ferguson]

She's a good stand up, isn't she?

[Unknown]

Married. Great. One of the best.

[Craig Ferguson]

She kind of is. The last time I saw her, it wasn't long after Chris had done that joke about her at the Oscars. She was like, what the fuck is that? He had done some joke about her at the Oscars. Do you remember that?

[Unknown]

Really?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. I can't remember what it was, but she was like, what the fuck? But she. You worked with her when we were at cbs, right?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

You were doing the Wanda. It was the Wanda Sykes show.

[Unknown]

Wanda psych show. Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

And you had the big studio and we had the little studio.

[Unknown]

Oh, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's what I remember. Because we had the little studio. Because that's what we were saying just before the comedians used to be on. They were on my late night show because the studio was so small. We had to move my desk to the side and I had to get out the way to put the comedians.

[Unknown]

Oh, wow.

[Craig Ferguson]

And the. A lot of comedians thought I was like being a dick. Cause I wouldn't meet them. It's not like I just didn't meet them. I was going home.

[Unknown]

Between me and you.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Were you?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, I kind of was. Yeah, I kind of was. Yeah, I was kind of. Fuck it.

[Unknown]

Fuck him.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know, Carrot Top's on great. Tell him I've laughed already. Do I tell you something about Carrot Top though? This is true. Have you ever seen him perform?

[Unknown]

He's a great performer.

[Craig Ferguson]

He's unfucking believable. Right. He gets a bad name, but I. I've never watched it. I've seen him live a couple of times and I've. I've hung out with him. He's. He's.

[Unknown]

You know why? That's because comics we stick to, you know, we're running packs.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right? Right.

[Unknown]

If you ain't a part of that pack, you're out.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So you did puppets and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's right. When you did the puppets and stuff. Yeah, I know. I did the puppets on late night. I was like, you're gone, you know?

[Unknown]

Yeah, you're gone. Beat it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, that's why I was like. I saw you do a set at the Village Underground, the Comedy Cellar place, last week. I was like, fuck, that's as good as ever I've seen. Given the fact that you've had a stroke and. And two strokes.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I just. You don't just have one stroke, cuz. You got to compare it to something.

[Craig Ferguson]

I don't know. I mean, I. I feel like you could. You can get one stroke.

[Unknown]

No, no, no. I'm like, that. This one didn't feel right. Let me see.

[Craig Ferguson]

I don't know. Does it. Is the sequel. The sequel's never as good as the first one, though.

[Unknown]

Oh, man. The sequel was a doozy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. I remember you saying, did you know. Do you know it was when the second one was happening? You're like, oh, fuck, it's happening again. Did you.

[Unknown]

Did you feel.

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

I knew the first one was happening and the second one.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, do you know it was a stroke when it was happening?

[Unknown]

Yes. I'm a man, Craig. I'm a man.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm a man, too. But if I was a.

[Unknown]

No, no, no, you're not a real man.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, that's true. I'm foreign. I'm foreign born. That's all I was. Foreign.

[Unknown]

A real man would take a stroke on just as he was like.

[Craig Ferguson]

But, but did you, like. Did it come on gradually or was it just like. It's a stroke?

[Unknown]

Like, one morning, for the first stroke, I woke up, right. And I was leaning, walking to my apartment. Leaning.

[Craig Ferguson]

Wait, you woke up walking to your apartment?

[Unknown]

Oh, no. Woke up.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, you were walking through your apartment.

[Unknown]

I'm walking through my apartment and I'm leaning. Something's going on.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

My right side was going down. So I'm like, oh, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

Had you had a big night the night before? Had you been, like, doing, like, being wild? Were you drinking?

[Unknown]

I don't really drink that much.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

A couple of wines and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

But I woke up, I was leaning and I'm like, okay, let me go to Philadelphia and drove from Jersey to Philadelphia till I get my passport. So something's going on by. And brought some aspirin with me. I took a couple aspirins. Okay. I was all right. I drove to Philly.

[Craig Ferguson]

You feel better? You were driving.

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, I'm a man once.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, you're a man. Yeah, I get it. We're driving.

[Unknown]

A dumb man. But I'm a.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, I got it. No, I've been with the same woman for 20 years. She's driven me twice. It's. She's like, why? She's perfectly decent driver. I'm like, yeah, but I'll drive.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I got it. I like that. Yeah, you are a man.

[Craig Ferguson]

I am a man. So now if I have a stroke now, I'll be like, okay, I know what it says. Yeah. And maybe it'll be recompense for using the puppets in late night. Get allowed back into the. The pack. He did do the puppets, but he also had a stroke. So were you on your own when you drove to Philly, though?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Jesus.

[Unknown]

I'm a man.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, yeah, but. So did you go to the hospital when you got to Philly?

[Unknown]

Would a man go to a hospital?

[Craig Ferguson]

I feel like maybe I wanted a.

[Unknown]

Social Security place to get my passport.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay. Where were you going? You needed a passport?

[Unknown]

Scotland.

[Craig Ferguson]

Shut the fuck up.

[Unknown]

You were.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, you weren't.

[Unknown]

I was going, you know, abroad.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

But I didn't go to abroad because the stroke. So I had a stroke for, like, it must have been a 24 hour stroke.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

Cause I went there and then I went to see my son. He was performing at a place and I wanted to see what the place looked like.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

But I was going down. I can feel myself going down.

[Craig Ferguson]

It was getting worse.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

But I, you know, my vision was blurry and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Fuck.

[Unknown]

But I took a couple of more.

[Craig Ferguson]

Aspirins and the aspirin is helping again.

[Unknown]

Vision cleared up.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, there you go.

[Unknown]

I drove back home.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, you are a man.

[Unknown]

Jersey. Damn right.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah, you are a man.

[Unknown]

I drove back to Jersey.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Now, I wanted to sell her. Did a radio show.

[Craig Ferguson]

Really?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

You still haven't seen a medical professional. Now we're 24 hours out because you're a man. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So you haven't Seen a medical professional. We're now 24 hours into the stroke. And you're taking aspirin for a stroke?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay. But it's working.

[Unknown]

Causing, I guess, some blood.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

So, you know, after that I drove back home. Well, right after I did the radio show, right? I supposed to do a spot, but everything just dropped. Energy, everything.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

I'm like, oh, shit. So I went down the alleyway, Manana lane, straight down alleyway and walked down there, got my car and drove home.

[Craig Ferguson]

Again with the driving.

[Unknown]

Drove home.

[Craig Ferguson]

Where do you live? Jersey.

[Unknown]

Jersey. That's like a half hour, 40 minutes away.

[Craig Ferguson]

You take a bridge of the tunnel. I mean, I just. Because, you know, everyone.

[Unknown]

Just to make it longer. Yeah, I want to ride a little longer.

[Craig Ferguson]

Because you're a man. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I want Holland tunnels.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, yeah. See, I take the tunnel. I think the tunnel is fine. People are always like, no, you can't take the tunnel. I'm like, I don't know. It's not like you can get off the bridge. Bridge either.

[Unknown]

No. You know, I took that tunnel, okay. Went home then. It really had called my girlfriend at the time. She was in the house, you know, she came out and I can barely walk now.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay.

[Unknown]

But I still, like, just make sure I did 10 push ups.

[Craig Ferguson]

You're lying.

[Unknown]

No, I'm lying. I'm lying. But she took me and took. And I'm taking me to the hospital and he's having a stroke.

[Craig Ferguson]

Were you scared at this point?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No.

[Craig Ferguson]

I understand. That was probably the wrong question.

[Unknown]

What the hell is going on? As I explained, I clearly explained to you.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, I know. I feel like I brought a little bit of myself there. I got scared for you, but I'm less manly, you know, that's the thing. I get a little frightened sometimes. Sometimes I. But I would worry about. I'd worry about it. What did they say?

[Unknown]

Well, they said, you know, like I was still. I said, I'm all right because I boxed a little bit. You know what I mean? And I was throwing jabs. I went in the hospital and woke up and this all went down. I'm like, I tried to throw jabs and all that. Nothing. This all went down. That leg was down. I was in the hospital for like a month and a half.

[Craig Ferguson]

A month and a half? Were you in a bed for a month and a half?

[Unknown]

No.

[Craig Ferguson]

Let you walk around?

[Unknown]

Well, well, in the hospital, they try to restrict you as much as possible. So, like, if you try to get up, like when you're in a brain injury unit, if you get out on the bed, your feet touch the floor, alarm goes off. So it's like almost being in the pen, you know? Penitentiary.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, I understand. I've been in this country for a while, I can speak the lingo.

[Unknown]

And soon your foot hit the ground, all the nerves come running in and all that. So it took them a while to trust me to do what I do. And then I went in and then we have to do all the tricks and tell you this and tell you that and for your cognitive to make sure you're as smart as Donald Trump.

[Craig Ferguson]

And that's the baseline. Because I suppose it depends on what hospital you go to. I mean the fancy hospitals, it might be. It's got to be a little more.

[Unknown]

Do a little more.

[Craig Ferguson]

But they, but I think that, you know, did they test you like with jokes and stuff like that?

[Unknown]

No, they text you with like square circles. They think that something, you know, they ask you every day, what's today's date? What's this? What's that?

[Craig Ferguson]

I don't know if I could answer that.

[Unknown]

No, I mean, fuck with them sometime.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Oh, you do you would. You get bored? You got it. You gotta get.

[Unknown]

What's your name? What is your name? Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King. They're like, huh, they almost had a heart attack. He's really messed up. Oh my God, this guy's messed up.

[Craig Ferguson]

So what caused it? Do you know what caused it?

[Unknown]

No.

[Craig Ferguson]

Wasn't like iced coffee or anything.

[Unknown]

It was like combined eating habits and cholesterol. Cholesterol with that damn caffeine and all that?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, I gotta watch my cholesterol. I went for a thing. I know you had a stroke, but I had a medical recently and they told me I have to bring my cholesterol down.

[Unknown]

I think they scare us with everything.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, hello, this is Craig Ferguson and I want to let you know I have a brand new stand up comedy special out now on YouTube. It's called I'm so Happy and I would be so happy if you checked it out. To watch the special, just go to my YouTube channel at the Craig Ferguson show and it's just right there. Just click it and play it and it's free. I can't. Look, I'm not going to come around your house and show you how to do it. If you can't do it, then you can't have it. But if you can figure it out, it's yours.

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[Craig Ferguson]

You're about the same age as me, aren't you? You're like a couple of years younger than me. What age are you?

[Unknown]

Well, no, I'm 78.

[Craig Ferguson]

Fuck you, man. Like, are you 60 yet? Yes, I'm 63 now.

[Unknown]

Oh, you old man.

[Craig Ferguson]

I get up, I pee. I pee more than I do anything else.

[Unknown]

So do I, man. I'm like, I can't stop peeing.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm like, I didn't even drink anything. I don't. You know why? There's nothing here. I'm like the fucking Sahara desert and there's still pee coming out. It's crazy.

[Unknown]

I'm almost scared to drink water. I'm like, I don't want to pee. I don't want again.

[Craig Ferguson]

I was walking over the Williamsburg Bridge today because I was trying to go stay out and I started to walk over to bridge and I thought, I don't know if I can get over here. That'll be like, I'll give it a go. But by the time I got over, I was like, I had to find a hipster coffee shop.

[Unknown]

But that's why it's important, man. It's important for men like us to find women that understand the man that will pee himself.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, I drank a lot when I was younger, so I met. That was kind of the way I would always find a woman. The good thing as well. Here's a trick, by the way. If you wake up and there's pee in the bed, don't assume responsibility right away. Try and say, is there something wrong? Do you feel sick? Lay off the, you know I like it. Yeah, just blame the pee on someone else.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Craig Ferguson]

It doesn't work that well with vomit but it works with pee.

[Unknown]

Pee is a good thing.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, I think so. But did you. Were there no signs of this. Did there. No signs of the stroke coming to you?

[Unknown]

There were signs of the stroke like.

[Craig Ferguson]

Like before you had it. I mean.

[Unknown]

Yeah, the blood pressure. Oh, my blood pressure is high.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

And now I was going Vegas for, like, me. Kevin Hart said, come on in Vegas. That's my young fella.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right. And also, you probably want to see Carrot Top as well, because.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you know what? I like Carrot Top.

[Craig Ferguson]

So do I. That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna have him on the show. I do like carrot. I'm not fucking around. I do like him. I think he' maligned character, but I.

[Unknown]

Watch it happen, man. Comics, they are just brutal. They chase other comics out of the business.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, no, they're like. They. They are. They're like.

[Unknown]

They're like hyenas, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

I never really hung with comics when I was young, and then when. And when I was a young comic, because I was just, like, drunk, and I. And I would hang out with bands, and then when I got late night. Cause I had worked on the Drew Carey show, and it seemed like I had stolen the job from a comic in some way because it's meant to get mad. And I was like. But I was a fucking comic for years before I did the Drew Carey show.

[Unknown]

And they're like, you do comedy in Scotland?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, and in London, too. I did stand up.

[Unknown]

I came in there. Scotland and In London in 92, that's.

[Craig Ferguson]

The year I got sober.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. That's probably why. Cause you were there. I was like, fuck, man.

[Unknown]

Keith, a real man is coming.

[Craig Ferguson]

There's a real man here now. I can't drink anymore.

[Unknown]

I bombed so bad in Scotland.

[Craig Ferguson]

Did you really? At the Edinburgh Festival?

[Unknown]

No. We had something called lightning up comedy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay.

[Unknown]

And we wore jackets and all that. The girls wore felts. And we were in Scotland. And I love Scotland, but you guys like to fight, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, that's why I left. Cause, you know, it's a real man situation.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's a real man. That's a real man. They showed me some real men.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. No, there's a little bit of fighting.

[Unknown]

Yeah. They were like, I'll have you. What? You'll have me? What does that mean?

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you know what? Some of the things. The way they say things, like, you know when people say in America, if they say, you've got follow through, he's like, he's got real follow through. It's like, and follow through in Britain means you've shit yourself. So if you say to somebody, oh, he followed through, you go, really? He followed, like he ships out. Does it really make sense? It kind of feels, yeah.

[Unknown]

No, I loved it, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

You had a good time?

[Unknown]

That's my first time abroad like that, you know, so I'm like, oh, wow. I had a wonderful time. We were there for like a month.

[Craig Ferguson]

Were you in Edinburgh or Glasgow?

[Unknown]

Glasgow. And Merle.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, Glasgow is I. That's where I'm from. Glasgow.

[Unknown]

Well, that's why I seen. Who the guy that always on the piano.

[Craig Ferguson]

Liberace.

[Unknown]

No, the comedian.

[Craig Ferguson]

Comedian, Scottish guy. Yes, I know, yeah. But if he's got a piano, it's kind of like having a puppet.

[Unknown]

He's one of the biggest.

[Craig Ferguson]

With a piano.

[Unknown]

Billy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, Billy Conley.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, that. He was like. He was like fucking Jackie Robinson to me. Billy Conley. Because until Billy. Billy's 20 years older than me.

[Unknown]

Oh, wow.

[Craig Ferguson]

And he was like my hero because he was from. In Britain, the class system thing. I'm from the lower classes and he was a working class comedian. I had never seen anybody from my background when I was 10 years old and he was 30 years old. So he's just coming up and happening. We would listen to his albums the way American kids would listen to Cosby albums and stuff. I would be listening to Billy stuff.

[Unknown]

Well, yeah, I'd say in the morning, he was on when one stayed at a hotel in Glasgow.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

You know, you know, he was playing the piano.

[Craig Ferguson]

I didn't even know Billy could play the piano. Yeah, well, you know, I. I never associate him with the piano is what I mean.

[Unknown]

You know, whatever.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, it's that thing, you know, you. You one sheep, you know, that's all everybody remembers.

[Unknown]

Yeah, but I loved it, you know.

[Craig Ferguson]

You had a good time. Why did you never go back? Will you go back?

[Unknown]

I told you about.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, but everybody bombs everywhere. Even you got it.

[Unknown]

You get. No, that one really?

[Craig Ferguson]

Did they. Was it like burn and stuff?

[Unknown]

No, it wasn't bowing. Got a cow. Like, we went to London, right? Like in America, we like, we draw the energy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But the crowds are laid back.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And you don't need to do all this. No, slow down. Yeah, but I'm like, ah, wow. Gonna watch this. You know, they get mad at you like that. Nah. Yeah, we've had that one. Him.

[Craig Ferguson]

The. You ever heard musicians talk about when they go to Japan and play tours in Japan and they'll be like rocking out on stage and the End of the show, the audience will be like, yeah, just culturally different.

[Unknown]

That's all you have to learn.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, you gotta learn the difference.

[Unknown]

Well, now I had a stroke. That's the difference. The stroke helped me. Like, without a stroke, I was, you know, Patrick Mahomes. I'd scramble all over with a stroke. Tom Brady in the pocket. Yeah. I mean, move to the left more.

[Craig Ferguson]

Just a little bit. Yeah, but you know what I mean, like, that is a thing, though. Learning how to stay still on stage and do your thing is actually.

[Unknown]

It's better for you.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's much better for, like, the best comics. They don't run around doing all that. I used to run like a idiot.

[Unknown]

I fall down, get back up.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'd be like, trying to hit every individual thing. And now, like, if I walk out and I'll talk and then I walk back, that's it. That's all I'm gonna do.

[Unknown]

Well, you learn that, though, through the years, you know.

[Craig Ferguson]

Takes time. Takes time as well. When did you first get back up after the stroke? Was it the cell?

[Unknown]

The first stroke, it took me, like, maybe a couple few weeks, and I'm back on stage.

[Craig Ferguson]

Man, that's fucking stones there. I mean, you are, man.

[Unknown]

That second one. Yeah, like, two years.

[Craig Ferguson]

Saying one was much worse then, huh?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

You didn't drive your way through it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, because my voice came back real good with the first stroke right now with this one. And, like, you're not gonna be able to talk again. And you want to get me to talk again, Tell me I'm not going to be able to talk. Yeah, I'm like, all right, I'll show you. You know, I have that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Did it take a while? I mean, it took two years to get on the stand.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Well, that's because you're scared. Don't know the war is going to come out, right? What will happen if the war. I get on stage and all of a sudden, nothing. Yeah, I was like, oh, shit.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, it's funny because I saw you do the set the other night. It was like. I watched it and I was like, fuck, how is this going to go? Because I, you know, I hadn't seen the special at that point. I since watched it and went, okay, okay, fine. Fucking nailed it. But I hadn't seen it. I was like, I'd heard that you'd had a stroke, right? And I was like, I don't know how this is gonna work.

[Unknown]

Well, that's what my thing was like.

[Craig Ferguson]

But what was amazing, like, after about 30 seconds, there's just a comic on stage.

[Unknown]

Well, you gotta make it, though. Well, I do my best to be such an asshole. They go, fuck that guy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was kind of interesting, though. It becomes. Because you make it like it's. It's like it's part of the thing, you know? It's just like. It's. This is who I am. This is what I'm doing. And it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

And it kind of.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I hate that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, that would freak me out.

[Unknown]

Get out of there with that shit.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Did you get better that when you first went up? Did you feel it with the first time?

[Unknown]

Yeah. But I say something so fucked up. They go, fuck him. Yeah, that's where I want you at.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's exactly where I want you at. Fuck him.

[Craig Ferguson]

Fuck him. How dare he? It's an interesting thing. Tell me about the second one then. How long between the first and the second one?

[Unknown]

I had a second one in 2016.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, right.

[Unknown]

The next one came 2020. Then in 2020, did you get Covid or something?

[Craig Ferguson]

Did that. Did that do it?

[Unknown]

I got. No, I just. What happened? And I tried my best. There's a real story. This girl wanted me to meet her. And we're supposed to go to Vegas together, right? Whoa. Yeah. Shut up. Everything's good. But Covid came, right? No, Vegas, right around Thanksgiving in 2020. She said, well, why don't you come see me in my house? Ain't not going on. You know, you can't have Thanksgiving with your family or whatever. Say, I'll go to Phoenix, Arizona, to get some.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right. So this is a romantic assignation. Yeah, okay, I got it.

[Unknown]

I brought flowers with me now, so.

[Craig Ferguson]

You should bring flowers. Gas station flowers are fine, but, you.

[Unknown]

Know, they should be flowers. So I tell everybody, my son, his mom and all, that I'm going to perform with Louis CK So it wouldn't be too much. As I was going there before and looking. Poor Louis, all the stuff he went through, now me adding more. So I get this stroke and I was on my way out, flying there like, this is real shit. Flying to Arizona. I'm first class, of course.

[Craig Ferguson]

Obviously. Yeah, it goes with that, man. You're sitting up there running the plane. I got it.

[Unknown]

So I'm drinking. You know, they give you all. I'm placid. But they. You know, when they make the announcement, 20 minutes away, when I show them adding up, I'm like, okay, 20 minutes. 10 minutes to our house. 30 minutes. I popped the Viagra. Cause I wanted to be Ready?

[Craig Ferguson]

You took Viagra 20 minutes before landing because you figured it would be 30 minutes to rest, knowing you'd already had a fucking stroke.

[Unknown]

That's where it kicks in.

[Craig Ferguson]

This is the greatest fucking story I've ever heard.

[Unknown]

So, you know, I get in the car once I get off the plane now. I get off the plane, I start to drive.

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you have an erection at this point?

[Unknown]

Of course.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right, Good. Okay. Okay.

[Unknown]

So that's what kept me walking. So I'm. I'm. I'm like, oh, man. I get in the car, I'm like, oh, should I go to the hospital.

[Craig Ferguson]

Or get. Or. Yeah, it's. It's a real. It's a real question. Or get laid? It's a dilemma.

[Unknown]

No, was it. I'm knocking on her door, right?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, you're gonna.

[Unknown]

And she got in there, opened the door, we started doing a little something, and then it just over. I still spent the night.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

And I woke up, I couldn't even move. The ambulance came and. Wow. Yeah. The ambulance lifted me up out of the pussy.

[Craig Ferguson]

So. So again, it. There was that. You spend the whole night there?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, man. I understand. I understand. But this is amazing to me. So there's. You take the Fireactor. So the Viagra wears off or doesn't wear off?

[Unknown]

Nothing wear off? Yes. My. You know, my body is like. Body's about to die. What are you doing?

[Craig Ferguson]

You're about to die, but your penis is still.

[Unknown]

I was trying my best, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

Jesus. So you were like. You were in the hospital in Phoenix then?

[Unknown]

Yes, I was in the hospital in Phoenix. And I'm like, I can't stay here.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's Phoenix. You can't stay there. You can go for a weekend, but you can't stay there.

[Unknown]

I said, I need to go back. Doctor said, no, you're not supposed to fly back on a stroke. Fly me back. I'm gone. And I flew back.

[Craig Ferguson]

First class.

[Unknown]

Of course.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure that.

[Unknown]

You think I'm gonna have a stroke.

[Craig Ferguson]

A stroke?

[Unknown]

And coach. 34B.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, you don't wanna have a stroke. And coach. No. That's bad. That's like the kid behind you with the back of your chair.

[Unknown]

I would've been dead by the time I got to the front.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, no, you have to have it. But you didn't have one. You flew back. How long until you flew back?

[Unknown]

I stayed there a night and I flew right back.

[Craig Ferguson]

You're kidding me.

[Unknown]

Why do I keep telling you?

[Craig Ferguson]

No, I know, but I mean, Jesus Christ, Keith.

[Unknown]

I did it.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's nuts. And so you went.

[Unknown]

It is nuts when I think about, like, what the hell was I thinking?

[Craig Ferguson]

And also the fact they let you on the plane. I mean, you could have flown on.

[Unknown]

The plane like this.

[Craig Ferguson]

I've seen people on planes like that, though.

[Unknown]

I've seen. But they figured I was drunk.

[Craig Ferguson]

They just thought you were drunk, and so they just let you. Because you were first class. They let you on because he's first class. What are you gonna do? You can't.

[Unknown]

In the first class. Yeah, he can't. How bad could he be?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, he's not gonna die. He's first class.

[Unknown]

He's just sitting there like this. Yeah, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

So what happens after you have a stroke, though, when you're on your way back? Do you have to, like, go to, like, the physical rehab?

[Unknown]

What happens? Wanda sent me a driver.

[Craig Ferguson]

Wanda did?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's fucking great.

[Unknown]

Well, you know, me and Wanda were roommates and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. You back away?

[Unknown]

Yeah, so. But she sent me a roommate with my man Robert and my son's mom, and all of them came and picked me up and we drove, you know, to the hospital in Jersey.

[Craig Ferguson]

JFK from jfk?

[Unknown]

Well, no hospital was jfk.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, JFK Hospital. You didn't fly JFK Airport to JFK Hospital?

[Unknown]

Newark.

[Craig Ferguson]

Newark Airport. Jfk. I don't suppose that's an important part of the story, but it's worth knowing.

[Unknown]

No, it's not that important.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's not that important.

[Unknown]

From Newark and Jersey Hospital, how long does that day.

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you. Do you take the bridge of the tunnel?

[Unknown]

I think it was Pulaski's.

[Craig Ferguson]

But. So how long are you, like, totally incapacitated? When they're saying to you, he's not going to speak again, he's not going to do all that.

[Unknown]

I was never incapacitated.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

I'm always fighting.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean? Because when you go to the hospital, they treat every patient. All strokes ain't the same, but they treat you like you're out of your mind and you don't know what's going on.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right. And that was never the case for you, though?

[Unknown]

No, no. Hell, no.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's weird.

[Unknown]

But, you know, one woman they don't like, you move like, no, no, no, you can't move. I don't want to go to the bathroom. You can't hold yourself up. I said, bitch, look at me. I start doing, you know, sit ups. I just look like I can't pull myself up. He said, Ah, nah, you bitch. I got jumped by a pack of nurses.

[Craig Ferguson]

You got jumped?

[Unknown]

Yeah, they jumped me.

[Craig Ferguson]

What did you. What did they do? They take your stuff?

[Unknown]

No, I was going to the bathroom. When you, you know, you got a stroke or whatever, your lane shoots up because you get spasms.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

And then you shot up, and a woman's like, oh, he's fighting me. He's fighting me.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh. And so they all jumped in there.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they jumped on me.

[Craig Ferguson]

Did you. Thought you were kicking them.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'm like, bitch spasms. I'm not trying.

[Craig Ferguson]

I want to bring this up because you talk about the Viagra early on. Did you get spasms in your.

[Unknown]

No, I wish I did. It'll be great. And just pop up out of nowhere. I was like, sorry, I've been great. I would have loved it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, it's. So you were in. How long were you. You were like, two years. Before you go on stage, were you in the hospital for, like, two months? Two months. And then you have to, like, go to learn. Well, you could always walk, though, right?

[Unknown]

No, you gotta learn how to walk again. You know, it's all mental and confidence.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

You know, so you start to slowly learn how to walk again, and then you walk and walk and walk. But I can tell this. What was different behind his leg felt. You know, I'm like, ah, this is a doozy right here.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. You talk about boxing. Like, you box a lot. The. The people I know who bought, and I did a little bit years and years ago as well. Like, the kind of shape that you get in by boxing is great shape. I mean, the best shape I've been in in my life is when I was both.

[Unknown]

Exactly. Oh, my God.

[Craig Ferguson]

And do you think that because you were in that kind of shape, that's what got you through the.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Well, yes. But life gets you prepared.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

For everything. You know, the stroke and all that. You have that fighting spirit.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And you just go, I'm not going down now. Not now.

[Craig Ferguson]

Not now. Is it gonna improve, do you think? Do they think the doctors think it's gonna improve?

[Unknown]

Well, you know, you just. I don't think about it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

Cause if you think about it, you get. Ugh. But, yeah, it's improving anyway.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

You know? Cause I'm on stage now.

[Craig Ferguson]

I was gonna say, once you get.

[Unknown]

On stage, you're like, I'm on my thing. You know.

[Craig Ferguson]

Stand up is actually. Even if you're just standing up, doing it, I mean, for any length of time, it starts to get tiring.

[Unknown]

But that's what I'm saying. During an hour. I was scared when I did my hour, right. You know, back to back hours.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, because you do a special, you gotta. You gotta do it twice.

[Unknown]

Boom, boom, boom. But it worked.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, it did. Where did you shoot that?

[Unknown]

Sony Music Hall.

[Craig Ferguson]

Where's that?

[Unknown]

Around 40. Midtown.

[Craig Ferguson]

So when you're getting there from Jersey, you take the tunnel or the bridge?

[Unknown]

No, what I do, I take the long way because I'm cheap.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

Okay. No toll. Less toll.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right. So you go up and around.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right. Okay. Or maybe get a boat. Get a boat.

[Unknown]

A ferry.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, get a ferry. I don't take the ferries. You take the ferries. I hate.

[Unknown]

Any place you gotta catch a ferry to go to. I hate. Okay, all those. What's that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Holland?

[Unknown]

No, it's in Boston somewhere.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, Martha's Vineyard and all that.

[Unknown]

I can't stand nothing. I hate Martha's Vineyard.

[Craig Ferguson]

No. Have you ever been to Martha's Vineyard?

[Unknown]

Yes, that's why I hate it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, why? I just. I didn't see much to hate about it, that's all. They got an ice cream parlor and Barack Obama lives there. I think.

[Unknown]

I know, but it still bugs me. Yeah, the ferry to get to. Shut up.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. You know what I don't like? I lived in a place once where you had to take a ferry and they always. The ferries are always breaking down. That's why, you know, when I'm going to Jersey, I take the tunnel. I mean, a lot of people say don't, but I do. I do. Take the tunnel. Especially if you're going to Newark, to the airport.

[Unknown]

Take the tunnel.

[Craig Ferguson]

I've moved back to New York after being away for a long time, and I fucking love this city. I love what's happened.

[Unknown]

I'm from Philadelphia.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, that's right. But you moved up here a while ago, right.

[Unknown]

92 until 1. And we moved.

[Craig Ferguson]

New York, right? That's the year I got. Yeah. So you went up to New York, Philly, where you grew up in Philly. Was it. Was it rough?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was a rough stop, you know. Yeah. Like, you know, we. We. But we can leave our doors open, whatever. Because my mom was that woman, you know.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

She shot and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Really.

[Unknown]

And I got in. She shot a guy at a card game in.

[Craig Ferguson]

Is this a Western? What's it was. She shot a guy in a fucking card game. Your mom shot a guy in a card game? What was that? Was he. Was he cheating? What happened?

[Unknown]

I don't know what you Know, I was young man, but I was like 9, 10, right. And next thing I know, we're on a bus, Greyhound bus, on a run.

[Craig Ferguson]

Because your mom's on the run because she shot a guy. Did he die?

[Unknown]

Who cares?

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, you know that you'll never. That's his story. That's. No. What's your story?

[Unknown]

It had nothing to do with me. No. But we moved to Federalsburg, Maryland for.

[Craig Ferguson]

About one year until the heat comes off. And then you go back.

[Unknown]

And I never forget we had parent and teacher day. And the teacher was like, your son is just. He's not focusing. We need him to focus. And mom, like, why can't you focus, Mom? Because you're on the run. That's right. How you want me to focus?

[Craig Ferguson]

It'd be very difficult, though, as a parent, I think, to discipline your kids. Cause you can always say, mom, you shot a guy in a car game. Like, if my mother had said it was time for bed. Oh, is it Cause you shot a guy?

[Unknown]

Yeah, hold on, let me make this call real fast. We're in Feathersburg.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Come and get us. So did your mom still play cards?

[Unknown]

No, she passed away.

[Craig Ferguson]

She passed away, but she stopped playing cards after that?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Probably for the best, but everybody back.

[Unknown]

In the 70s had a lot of card games.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know, actually I kind of remember that too. People used to come around. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And gamble a little bit.

[Craig Ferguson]

Gamble a little bit. But it was just for like little bits of money. It wasn't like where we were in Scotland for potatoes. It was really for actually potatoes. Like, I'll bet you one potato.

[Unknown]

Well, they had what they call rent parties. So to get your rent or whatever, you had an old game, sold dinners and all that. Play the card games. Everybody was cheating, you know.

[Craig Ferguson]

But yeah, that's quite a spectacular stuff. My wife has this idea that all comedians have the same mother because she and my mother had. They had a relationship. She says, I don't know if this applies to your mom, but she says that all comedians. She says only good stand up comedians have the same. All good stand up comedians have the same mom. Cold with bad boundaries. That's what she says now.

[Unknown]

My mom was just like.

[Craig Ferguson]

She shot a guy in a card game. There's nowhere you can fucking go with this, Keith. It's not like you're gonna sell this. Like, no, my mom is a great mom.

[Unknown]

She's a sweetheart.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, my God. How did you end up then getting a stand up from that background?

[Unknown]

I mean, you know, I would always tell stories, right? Like we lived in a Blaze patch hook project and I always tell stories about the electric man behind the tv and they would have all laughing and all that. And then when I got older, older I got and I kept hearing Richard Pryor and from listening to Richard, I'm like, I can't do that Now. I've seen some comedies. That was awful.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

I'm like, I can do that.

[Craig Ferguson]

You can do that?

[Unknown]

Yeah, okay, I can do that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, it's funny. I mean, when you talk about, and I've heard other comedians say this about Richard Pryor is that's the way I think about Billy. What we were talking about, that I didn't know if I could do that, but I thought it does look like a good way to live.

[Unknown]

You know, it's not, come to think of it. It's not.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's not really. But when I was a kid, you know, it looked like, ah, everybody's your friend and you get up and you. Then you get further in. Everybody's not your friend.

[Unknown]

No, they're not your friend. You're like, ah, yeah. But I. Comedy probably saved me from a lot of.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know, on these streets and all that. Yeah, I didn't do comedy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Where did you start doing stand up then? Was in Philadelphia. Yeah. Whereby. Was there a club there or something?

[Unknown]

Comedy Factory Outlet, Third and Bank Street.

[Craig Ferguson]

Is it still there?

[Unknown]

No.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right.

[Unknown]

A lot of clubs are gone.

[Craig Ferguson]

There's tons of it seems to me like there's a lot of that coming back.

[Unknown]

There's a lot of comedy coming back again.

[Craig Ferguson]

And it feels like. I don't know if I'm right on this, but I did a couple of drop ins at the Cellar last week and it's fine. I like doing it, but it was fun.

[Unknown]

I thought the Cellar was great.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, it was fun. It was a good room and it was funny and it was funny. But I'm so used to doing an hour, 90 minutes, like doing that 50 minute slot. Kind of like you have to sharpen your shit up a little bit.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you have to sharpen up a little bit more.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But then you go back and tell them you want a new hour in one of the rooms and they'll give me an hour.

[Craig Ferguson]

All right. I don't know if I want to do that.

[Unknown]

You just said you usually do an hour.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, but I don't know if I want to do it there because I don't know. Am I going to take the bridge? Am I going to take the tunnel? How am I going to get There. I don't know. I don't know if I want to do that. Also, I feel like it might be a helicopter. A helicopter? Fucking taking a helicopter, man. No, I actually, I. I don't think I'll ever get in a helicopter again.

[Unknown]

Same. Yeah, Forget those helicopters.

[Craig Ferguson]

Ah, it's not for me.

[Unknown]

They're not safe.

[Craig Ferguson]

They're not safe. They're not safe. I. I don't care what anybody says. I don't want to get in the helicopter. You used to do. You know what? Didn't Bill Burr fly a helicopter?

[Unknown]

Yeah. I would never get in a damn helicopter.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, you know, it's just not a guy. I'm sure he's a great pilot.

[Unknown]

Bullshit.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know, I've got a pilot's license. Yeah, I got it. Not for helicopters. But I used to be terrified of flying, so I thought, if I learn to fly, to fly the plane, I won't be scared. Well, here's what happens. I learn how to fly the plane, and I'm about 20 minutes from landing in Phoenix one time, and a guy at the back.

[Unknown]

Don't mention his face.

[Craig Ferguson]

A guy at the back who takes a Viagra because he's going to meet his girlfriend. And he started. And I'm traumatized. I haven't flown since.

[Unknown]

No. Every time I hear a Phoenix, my heart just.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, I know. Really.

[Unknown]

Like, Chris Rock wanted me to come waiting for him.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Unknown]

And I was so scared to get all flights. I'm like, do you get.

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you get on airplanes now? You're okay?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I mean, I first. Then I'm like, oh, boy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Where would you have to go to write out to la?

[Unknown]

No, he was working on his hour.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, and that. The live hour thing.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. I ran into him when he was doing that I was doing. We were in the same hotel in Charlotte.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And the only time that's what I was gonna go.

[Craig Ferguson]

Charlotte, really?

[Unknown]

Yeah. That's funny.

[Craig Ferguson]

They have a great comedy club down there. Yeah, it was the Comedy Zone.

[Unknown]

Comedy Zone.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's a great club.

[Unknown]

Amazing.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, that one. And I like the. Where's the other one? Oh, in Denver, they have these really good clubs. David Tell. Did that Skanks for the Memories.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

I love that. I guess that was an album really, wasn't it? It wasn't really even a.

[Unknown]

Well, David.

[Craig Ferguson]

Dave, he's his own guy.

[Unknown]

He's just like, you know, does his own thing. David's timeless. Just love him.

[Craig Ferguson]

I had to. When I heard Skanks for the Memories. I was driving from Somewhere in Central California to la. And I had to pull over at the side of the road when he did that thing. I was laughing so hard I couldn't actually drive. I had to pull over. It was when he was doing that thing about having this friend who's a midget.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

And. Oh, my God, it just got worse and worse. Worse, funnier and funnier.

[Unknown]

Funnier.

[Craig Ferguson]

Is there any time you think. And I think I already know the answer to this anyway, but. But is there anything you think I can't really do a joke about that. It's not really anything that.

[Unknown]

No, it's not really anything.

[Craig Ferguson]

I mean, when I saw you go up and do this stuff about. Even with the stroke and some of the material you were doing. So fucking dark, but so hilarious is what we do.

[Unknown]

We.

[Craig Ferguson]

So you process it, right?

[Unknown]

Yeah. We dare to do whatever.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And Skull, if everything is quiet, you know, coming up, I'm like, ah, how can I start some trouble?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that's a comic thinking, all right, all y' all be quiet. Don't say nothing at the assembly. But I start to cough and cough, and everybody, God damn, get out of here. You know? And that would, you know.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know, Cicero, in ancient Rome said a great thing, I think comedians, anyone in show business should remember. He said, if you want to know who your friends are, start a fight. That's a great fucking thing. And I feel that's like a comedian's mind a little bit. You know what I mean? It's like, all right, let's fucking see.

[Unknown]

We gotta do it. Yeah, yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's a little bit. Sometimes I think there's a little bit of. Sometimes you maybe shouldn't start a fight. Cause you're gonna lose.

[Unknown]

Hey, man. Sometimes you can't. You know.

[Craig Ferguson]

Also, though, I do. I think to the day I die, I'll be full of admiration for the idea of. I've already had one stroke, but it's 20 minutes to landing, and I'm half an hour house, and I'm gonna take a fucking Viagra. I think that's the maddest, most. One of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

[Unknown]

It still brings tears in my eyes about the romantic.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's so romantic. And the fact that they had to, like, you know, lift you out of the. It's just fabulous. Thanks so much for coming in, man. It's been really nice to hang with you. I can't tell you how impressed I am with. Well, first of all, the fact that, you know, you're the comic that you are, but also that you processed this and still turned it into comedy is to just. Fucking outstanding. It's outstanding.

[Unknown]

That's right. Got it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's on Netflix, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's on Netflix.

[Unknown]

Different strokes.

[Craig Ferguson]

I know. I really think that was quite a wonderful title. I met him, by the way, you know. Who was the little guy again? Gary. What was his name? What was his name?

[Unknown]

What was that little guy's name? Gary Coleman.

[Craig Ferguson]

Gary Coleman, Yeah, I met him. I met him. He was on the Drew Carey show when I was on.

[Unknown]

Oh, wow.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, he came on and he was. We had an afternoon chatting.

[Unknown]

I think his folks took all his money, I think.

[Craig Ferguson]

I think that came up actually. Yeah, I think he mentioned that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that's a bad mom. He shoots him away at a card game. That's a good mom.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, pistol whips one of the other ladies at the drug box for me. Yeah, well, I know. Yeah, that's for you. Yeah, I suppose it's all different moms. Different moms. You know what though? I think if my mom, if she had had access to a pistol, she might have pistol whipped her.

[Unknown]

Of course.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

A lot of moms in the 70s.

[Craig Ferguson]

At least had a.22, you know, where I grew up. But they had. There was more, you know, clubs and knives and stuff.

[Unknown]

Clubs and I. What the.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, there was not as. Still isn't a lot of guns over there. There, you know.

[Unknown]

That's right.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. It's not a lot of guns.

[Unknown]

Nobody has a. I blame the government for my mom's shooting somebody.

[Craig Ferguson]

Wait, what? Wait, why does the government access the guns? Access to guns. That's right. If she didn't have a gun, she would have had to use a.

[Unknown]

Difference.

[Craig Ferguson]

Get the out of.

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