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- [00:01]
Disney Cruise Line
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- [01:31]
Craig Ferguson
Pharmacy Presents Painful Thoughts the guy in front of me in the pharmacy line is halfway through an incredibly detailed 17.
- [01:43]
Paul F. Tompkins
Minute story about his gout.
- [01:45]
Craig Ferguson
A story likely more painful than the gout itself. Next time, save yourself the pain and let Amazon Pharmacy deliver your meds right to your door. Amazon Pharmacy Healthcare just got less painful. The Craig Ferguson Pants on Fire Tour is on sale now. It's a new show, it's new material, but I'm afraid it's still only me, Craig Ferguson on my own, standing on a stage telling comedy words. Come and see me. Buy tickets, bring your loved ones or don't come and see me. Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones. I'm not your dad. You come or don't come, but you should at least know it's happening. And it is. The tour kicks off late September and goes through the end of the year and beyond. Tickets are available@thecraigfergusonshow.com tour. They're available at thecraigfergussonshow.com tour or at your local outlet in your region. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interesting people about what brings them happiness. My guest today is Paul F. Tompkins And I suppose at some point, point in the conversation, I should ask him what the F stands for, but my guess is I'll forget because he was the voice of Mr. Peanut Butter in BoJack Horseman, the greatest cartoon ever made. Fight me if you don't believe me. Anyway, enjoy. Paul F. Tompkins. Hey, Paul, thank you for joining us. I know that we had a little bit of technical problems at the beginning there.
- [03:36]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's true.
- [03:37]
Craig Ferguson
And I was informed by you and their producer that you are using maximum quality on your computer now.
- [03:45]
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, you know, I, I see in the, in the QuickTime dropdown menu, it gives you the choice between high and maximum. And you know what? I feel like this is a special occasion, and so I went with maximum quality.
- [03:58]
Craig Ferguson
When you were, you know, in your well documented crazy drug years, did you, did you go high or maximum most of the time?
- [04:10]
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, unfortunately. What? Maximum most of the time. And that's why I can't do those drugs anymore.
- [04:14]
Craig Ferguson
Really? Is that true? I was being facetious, but you actually did have a high, maximum drug time.
- [04:20]
Paul F. Tompkins
I did not have high, maximum drug time. This is probably my high maximum drug time, where with the advent of, of legal weed, probably having an edible every once in a while is my maximum drug use.
- [04:35]
Craig Ferguson
That seems very civilized. I. I don' if there had been legal weed when I was doing drugs, I don't think it would have made any difference to me. But I tell you this, I tell you this, had I known about prescription lens sunglasses, I don't know if I would ever got sober.
- [04:53]
Paul F. Tompkins
Really. Now, why is that?
- [04:57]
Craig Ferguson
Because when you put on prescription lens sunglasses, I've never done it because I didn't find out about them until after I stopped drinking. But I feel like if you put them on and you had a hangover, you'd be like, it's all right, it's all right. I can see pretty well. No one can see my eyes. And everything's darkened down a little bit. I think it, I think it would have certainly prolonged my drinking and maybe have. Maybe killed me.
- [05:20]
Paul F. Tompkins
Maybe have killed me. I have a theory, Craig.
- [05:22]
Craig Ferguson
Okay.
- [05:23]
Paul F. Tompkins
That in a hangover state, being able to see more clearly is a disadvantage.
- [05:31]
Craig Ferguson
You know, you make a point, but having it through the lens of darkness, it can still be like, well, I have a hangover, but that's perfectly appropriate because it's nighttime and I can start drinking again. That's probably what I was looking for. It's. I'm not an alcoholic. Drinking in the morning.
- [05:51]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [05:51]
Craig Ferguson
Because it's nighttime. Yeah.
- [05:52]
Paul F. Tompkins
There you Go.
- [05:54]
Craig Ferguson
Can I say, by the way, you are part of an elite gang of people, an extremely elite gang of people, which is probably what elite means. But the. You are a cast member of the great BoJack Horseman series.
- [06:11]
Paul F. Tompkins
That is correct. That is correct. Yeah.
- [06:12]
Craig Ferguson
You were Mr. Peanut Butter, right?
- [06:14]
Paul F. Tompkins
Correct. Yes.
- [06:15]
Craig Ferguson
Right. Which I think, to my mind is the greatest show ever made about Los Angeles ever in the history of. The most accurate one. Certainly.
- [06:22]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Yeah. I think that I. I was. I was such a. A fan of that show. You know, being on it is just. It's strange to be. I don't know, I get. I guess you should be a fan of your own projects.
- [06:35]
Craig Ferguson
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [06:37]
Paul F. Tompkins
But I. You know, the way I came to that show was I was just asked by the creator, Raphael Bob Wexberg, to. To do a guest role in the pilot, which was Mr. Peanut Butter. And I didn't know anything about the show. I did not know that it was. I just knew, like, oh, this is a cartoon for grown ups. I get it. I think it was, like, the third episode where it ends on a. A very down note, and I realized, oh, this is something different than what I thought. And then I was even more thrilled that I was a part of it. And I would not read the scripts in advance. I would only read them at the table read so I could kind of be surprised along with. As the audience would be surprised. And it was such a. Such an exciting thing to be a part of and to really get invested in these. In these stories and to have some of those. Some of the lines in those scripts were, like real gut punches and real. Oh, yeah, you know, serious life stuff that I, I, you know, a lot of it. I related to a lot of it. I knew people who had experiences like that, and, yeah, it was. It was quite a ride. That was quite a ride doing that.
- [07:56]
Craig Ferguson
It was. It's an. It's a. It's a really odd show because it. If nothing for me, the recipe. If you've never been to Los Angeles or never worked in the entertainment business in Los Angeles, if you combine BoJack Horseman, Modern Family, and Ray Donovan, you have a completely exact picture of what Los Angeles is like to live and work. And I feel like that's it. That's exactly what it's like.
- [08:21]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [08:23]
Craig Ferguson
Are you a native Los Angeleno?
- [08:26]
Paul F. Tompkins
No. I was born in Philadelphia, and I moved to LA in 1994.
- [08:31]
Craig Ferguson
That's when I moved to LA. Really well, I went there, and then I had to come home for a couple of Weeks and then I went back. So it was 95 technically, I guess, but that's when I.
- [08:43]
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, so, so you lied.
- [08:44]
Craig Ferguson
I did, I did. But that's something I learned in la. Now listen, how did the fire thing work out for you? Are you okay?
- [08:53]
Paul F. Tompkins
So far so good. We've been extremely lucky. We have just been here at home with suitcases by the door. We are in the, the, the pink zone, which sounds like it's a marker on the Kinsey scale, but we are. So far we have not. So we're like sort of the danger is at a distance but could get closer. So we're just ready to go at any time. But it's been, I feel like that.
- [09:22]
Craig Ferguson
That happened a few times when, I mean nothing like is going on right now. But I don't live in LA anymore. But when I left there, there was a few times where we had, were doing exactly that. Suitcases by the door, kids in pajamas, sleeping in the car and all that. I mean it was, it's a scary thing. But I think with this fire, this one, it feels like a, a real kind of game changer this one though, doesn't it? I mean, these fires, it's a really different thing.
- [09:49]
Paul F. Tompkins
I would, I would like to believe that it is a game changer, but my, my sort of demoralized feeling is that it won't be a game changer. It should be and you know, it should be a big wake up call to a lot, you know what, not even a wake up call, but it should be a signal that we need to talk about what is going on with our environment and what we're doing about it. And you know, it's, it's a little distressing to see the, the press conferences and just no mention of climate change at all. And that is, I mean there's no way around that. That's a huge factor. And like we are, we are an area that has a fire season, you know, and the fact that it's getting worse and worse and to this point combined, the fire combined with the winds is, you know, it's, it's bad and getting worse.
- [10:45]
Craig Ferguson
And I don't know that there's something deniable about climate change. I don't think any serious person would deny that the climate change is something that would facing. I think though, what I meant as well for in the terms of game changer because like you, I'm kind of cynical. It will be, you know, a game changer on a global or even a national scale. But I think in terms of Los Angeles itself, it, it feels like a real gut punch. I mean, like. Oh, yeah, you know, first the, the pandemic and then the actor strike and the writer strike and the, the labor disputes and then this. I mean, it. And then the, the advent of streaming and the way the industry is changing anyway, it really seems like I, I don't, I have no map for this. I don't know where it goes now.
- [11:33]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's too many things at the same time. Yeah, it's too many things. And, you know, I think, I think we're going to see a lot of people leaving la, which happens every once in a while in the wake of these big disasters. There's people that just decide, I can't, I can't be here anymore. It's just too scary.
- [11:53]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah.
- [11:54]
Paul F. Tompkins
And, you know, in terms of the business itself, I mean, I don't know what's going to happen because nothing shoots here anymore. And that would be a huge revitalization of the town. But I just. Yeah, I don't know. I know it doesn't.
- [12:13]
Craig Ferguson
And it seems to me.
- [12:14]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, I was just going to say it seems like there's not enough people that are interested in fixing those things because it is cheaper for them not to fix them.
- [12:24]
Craig Ferguson
I think that's true of, like, the corporate overlords and I think it's true of the what, what I kind of think is, and I think like, you, you and I have work, apart from me lying about 1995. We worked in L. A. About the same amount of time.
- [12:39]
Paul F. Tompkins
About the same amount of time.
- [12:40]
Craig Ferguson
And of course, you, you, you, you don't always interact with big stars. You're talking, you know, props guys and carpenters and grips and layton people and people who. It's a middle class, just. It's a kind of working Joe job. It's not a Joe job, but it. Professional people, but they're not super wealthy, you know, it's just, you know, it's just a qualified job, like working in any other kind of factory.
- [13:07]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [13:08]
Craig Ferguson
And I think these are the people that are going to like, what the.
- [13:10]
Disney Cruise Line
Hell do you do?
- [13:11]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [13:12]
Craig Ferguson
When they change it like that.
- [13:13]
Paul F. Tompkins
I know. And people think that. I think a lot of people outside of L. A think that everybody here is just the people that you see on the covers of magazines, you know, and it's not what it is. There's a lot of people that have, you know, been here for generations that, you know, bought their houses when they were, you know, very cheap years and years ago. And, you know, now that's not there anymore and the work's not there anymore. And you know, I, I've worked on things that shot in Atlanta or Vancouver or whatever. And you have people from L. A, that crew, people that moved there to these places because there was more work there than where they lived. And the thing that, that really sucks is that the people that are involved in, in these, that are overseeing the networks, the studios and everything, it's, it's not the days of, you know, the, the Zanuck brothers and the Warner brothers anymore there. You don't have people that sort of take a pride in that business. And they were businessmen, but it was their business. And so they, there was still room for artistry. There was no algorithm. They, they like. It wasn't a bottom line thing. It was, this is our business of making these things. We are trying to guess what people like, what people, you know, what is quality put it out there. And now it really is these, these dudes that come in from, you know, different businesses that are looking at it like, well we'll cut this, this, this and this. And it's like that's the whole, I know that's, that's what makes it good. You, all the things that you're getting rid of is what makes it good.
- [14:57]
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
Clorox Sentiva smells like lavender.
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Disney Cruise Line
Cleans like.
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Craig Ferguson
Clorox and feels like. Hmm.
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Disney Cruise Line
All right, that could go on for a while. Experience the long lasting freshness of Clorox Scentiva. Now available in Clorox Scentiva lavender scented bleach. Use as directed.
- [17:05]
Bowen Yang
This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
- [17:09]
Craig Ferguson
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
- [17:12]
Bowen Yang
Get ready for your cordially invited a hilarious new movie starring comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese W.H. witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
- [17:24]
Craig Ferguson
Find out what happens when two weddings are accidentally booked on the weekend at the same remote venue. Uh oh. In a laugh out loud battle of determination and grit, the father of the bride, played by Will Ferrell and sister of the other bride, played by Reese Witherspoon chaotically go head to head and will stop at nothing to pull off an unforgettable celebration for the ones they love.
- [17:42]
Bowen Yang
And if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, shipwrecks, cornhole and allstar comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out. In this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Frell vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy. You're cordially invited.
- [18:02]
Craig Ferguson
Watch January 30th on Prime Video. I think though that, you know, if I look at the generations of young artists that coming up now, I don't think that Hollywood is aspirational for them in the way that it was perhaps for my generation that, you know, I would see the black and white photographs of movie stars that have been airbrushed to perfection. And yeah, this, you know, that the swindle and the myth that was sold by Hollywood, which I, which I liked, which I wanted, you know, I liked the artifice of it. And then When I got there. I don't know if you had the same experience when I got there, and it was. And it was demystified. Slowly, it was demystified because I. Even to this day, I haven't done it for a few years. But when you drive on a law and the bar goes up and you drive in a movie law, and you see the spaceman and the, you know, cowboy and the showgirls and the, you know, and it's like, ah, this is awesome. I think all of that goes away now. I think that it's. And it's. I think, I mean, you have young children or your kids a little older.
- [19:12]
Paul F. Tompkins
Zero children.
- [19:12]
Craig Ferguson
Oh, you have zero children. Well, then. Then will you leave? You can leave that.
- [19:18]
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I could, but this is. This is our home, you know.
- [19:22]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah.
- [19:22]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, We. We love it here, my wife and I, and we've. We've lived here for a long time. And, you know, it's. It. You. You realize in the wake of these things, what a. What a real community exists in Los Angeles, and that it's not. It's not even what we pretend that it is. A lot of the time. It really is like, it's. It's a city like anywhere else, and people care about each other and people are helping out. And as many. As many horror stories you hear about landlords, you know, raising rental prices 8,000% and, you know, looters and stuff like that, most of what you see is people coming together and helping each other out, donating, you know, stuff and money and time and. And, you know, it's. It's a really heartwarming thing to see.
- [20:10]
Craig Ferguson
You know, it's funny that you should mention that. I was watching coverage of it on the BBC last night, and the reporter was out in the field and bumped into someone who was working the line, handed out water people, and it was Will Arnett, BoJack Horseman himself.
- [20:26]
Paul F. Tompkins
There you go.
- [20:27]
Craig Ferguson
And it was. I just. I heard the voice, I was like, whoa. And it's. It's as you say, because I remember when I moved to LA in the 90s, it kind of had a. It seems weird to see it because it was still a huge city then, but it had a kind of sleepy feel about it. It had a kind of. Oh, I remember it very well. I think it went away when. When they invented iPhones or something. But I, like, it changed when people could drive as close as they could to the Hollywood sign, or when the maps of the stars homes were on your phone instead of being sold to you by Some dodgy customer at the side of the road waving a map and stuff. And I kind of miss all of that. But, you know, things do change. What, what has it done for you business wise? Do you, I mean, do you still follow the model of, you know, developing, taking an idea to. I'll tell you where I'm going with this. If I have an idea now, I don't go to anyone who works in show business. I go to someone who will give me money.
- [21:31]
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
- [21:31]
Craig Ferguson
And then I just do it myself. Yeah, I. The last vestige of corporate shittiness in my life at the moment is doing this podcast. And, and my contract's up for that in six months. And then these guys can kiss my ass and I'll continue to do the podcast, but I don't need them. I have a computer.
- [21:55]
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
- [21:58]
Craig Ferguson
What about you? I mean, are you gonna.
- [22:02]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a mixture of still trying to go through the old channels, but also figuring out how to do stuff by yourself. And the, the double edged sword of that is that on the one hand, it's never been easier to do stuff by yourself in terms of the technology.
- [22:20]
Craig Ferguson
Right.
- [22:21]
Paul F. Tompkins
Like, which is fantastic. And one of the things that I, that I really love about the time that we're living in is that people can make their thing, whether it's a movie, TV show, podcast, whatever, people can figure out a way to make it. Getting it out to people is easier than it used to be. But there's so much noise that it's, it's a scary prospect to sink like your life savings into your passion project and then have nothing happen, have nobody find it, you know, so for, for me and the people that I know, at the sort of showbiz level that I'm at, there is still like a pressure to go, try to go through the old channels and see what happens. But it's harder than ever because even though it's the curse of there's so many outlets now, but because there's so many outlets now to try to stand out, to try to get, to cut through all that noise is harder than ever because there's so much shit. It's so much. And now when you're. It used to be you could pitch an idea and they either liked it or it didn't. Now before you even pitch the idea, it's like you have to attach these people, you have to attach this guy, you have to talk. It's like this is not even a thing yet. It's not even a thing yet. And we're attaching all these people on a, on a wish and a prayer and, you know, who moves a needle, you know, all this shit. And it's like, look at a funny idea.
- [23:51]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, it's, it's the weirdest thing about it, though, because there's a story that a friend of mine who's a big old timey, you know, he's John Feltheimer, he started and runs Lionsgate, right. And Feltheimer is a friend of mine and he was telling me about back in the day when they were selling MGM to Sony, I think it was Sony. Is that right? And they had to go to Japan and everything was done through board level meetings, through interpreters and stuff. And they were talking to some high powered Japanese executives through an interpreter, and they were asking about the film business. And the Japanese executive said, tell us, you know, basically the product in a year. He said, well, look, you know, a studio like MGM, we'll make maybe 40 movies in a year and, you know, 20 will do okay. You know, maybe five of them will be hits and the rest will be kind of like, you know. Well, we tried and we failed. And they were kind of duds and went through the interpreter. The interpreter came back after some and he said, my colleague says, could you possibly just make the hits? Is it. Yeah, that would be great if we could just make the hits.
- [25:11]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a terrific idea.
- [25:13]
Craig Ferguson
I know it's a great look, but I think that that kind of. Because unless you're in show business, whatever. Look, John Feltheimer is a great executive, but he's still show business. He's still, you know, he's, he's still that guy. And, and I think that, you know, the, these kind of guys are going away and like you say, people are coming in who are, who are like, I don't know what your qualifications are for this other than you went to school, I mean.
- [25:45]
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
- [25:45]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, it's. School's not a great place for artists a lot of the time.
- [25:50]
Paul F. Tompkins
Very true.
- [25:51]
Craig Ferguson
It can slow them down. Your idea of yours, I loved is when you do that podcast when you were H.G. wells.
- [25:59]
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, the Dead Authors podcast.
- [26:01]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, Dead Authors podcast when you were H.G. wells and going through time interviewing dead authors. See, I love that. Now, did you, in that podcast, did you ever have H.G. wells talk to, to C.S. lewis?
- [26:16]
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think we ever had C.S. lewis.
- [26:18]
Craig Ferguson
Interesting.
- [26:19]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, we had. I think Tolkien was as close as we got to CS Lewis.
- [26:23]
Craig Ferguson
Tolkien and CS Lewis were friends, right?
- [26:25]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [26:27]
Craig Ferguson
Because what I think is interesting is that I believe I could be wrong with this, but I. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong. Nobody takes any anyway. But the. The. So let's just say this is 100% true and we don't need to check, but HG Wells and CS Lewis were certainly collegiate. They were friendly, and I've always been fascinated by that, because H.G. wells, of course, was a committed atheist and a bit of a communist, I think even I believe so, yeah. And C.S. lewis, of course, was a absolute Anglican baby Jesus. All the bells and whistles, the smoke and the angels, and both terrific writers, by the way, as well, which I think is fascinating to me. I've read both of them at great length and love them both. Are you a big reader? Is that what you started, the Poet? Why you started it?
- [27:25]
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, you know, I am a big reader. The podcast came out of. There's a literacy program called 826 that is in various places in the country. And for the LA chapter, they were doing this, the dead authors thing was something they had done every once in a while. There was not a dedicated host for it, but it was an event they would do every once in a while. And I was approached to host one and thought, oh, it'd be funny to be H.G. wells and then interview people from two different time periods. And I enjoyed the experience so much that I asked them, hey, could I do a podcast with this? And we'll. We'll do a live show and all the proceeds will go to 826. And it was a. A really enjoyable project because I. I got to. It made me learn about other authors that I did not know much about, like, about their personal lives and careers and things like that. And it also, it. It tested my interview skills because I had to. It was a very specific thing where I had to, you know, be the host, keep it moving. But I also had to set the people up so they could be funny. So the. The questions were all. I would tell people, you don't have to do any research about your author. It is just, I'm going to ask you a question, and because it's improv, you respond however you want. You're welcome to do research if you want. You don't have to. And some people did extensive research, and some people did nothing at all. And the idea was I would ask a question that did not have to be tied to facts. I could state the fact in, you know, 1876, you said this or whatever, and then they could be funny, respond however they wanted. So it was a Combination of getting the. The real information out via my questions.
- [29:24]
Craig Ferguson
Right.
- [29:25]
Paul F. Tompkins
And then the comedy coming from what they have to say and then our subsequent interaction about that.
- [29:31]
Craig Ferguson
Who was both author and. And guest. Who kind of like really kind of lit it up for you, who you think you were more successful with.
- [29:40]
Paul F. Tompkins
The one that. That comes back to me the most is in terms of being a very special experience was Lennon Parham played. Oh, why am I blanking on the name now? With the book I'm trying to think of. I can't think of the book I'm blanking. It was a Southern author, Harper Lee.
- [30:03]
Craig Ferguson
Margaret Mitchell.
- [30:05]
Paul F. Tompkins
Not Harper Lee Mitchell. Can I cheat and look it up?
- [30:09]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, of course.
- [30:10]
Paul F. Tompkins
All right. Hate to do this. No people complain about it.
- [30:14]
Craig Ferguson
In the meantime, I'll put the podcast on hold. Music, it's generic. And your music, I'm doing right now.
- [30:27]
Paul F. Tompkins
Flannery O'Connor.
- [30:29]
Craig Ferguson
Okay.
- [30:31]
Paul F. Tompkins
Flannery O'Connor and her.
- [30:34]
Craig Ferguson
Her.
- [30:36]
Paul F. Tompkins
Performance.
- [30:37]
Craig Ferguson
Nothing about Flannery O'Connor, by the way. Nothing.
- [30:39]
Paul F. Tompkins
Nor did I. Nor did I. And her performance was. It was really. I felt like I was sitting with a real person. She made it. She played it so perfectly, like. And didn't. She didn't know anything about Flannery O'Connor either, but she. She played it so comfortably that I felt like, this is becoming real now. Like, this is.
- [31:04]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, this is.
- [31:05]
Paul F. Tompkins
Stop becoming goof around and this is becoming real. She did such an incredible job. Like, I. The thing I remember the most is she at one point said she was talking about these specific birds. I think it might have been peacocks where she lived. And she was like. And they had a very specific call. And then she did the peacock call. It was like it. It really. I get chills thinking about it because it really. She just embodied this person so well. It was. It was a really wonderful moment.
- [31:32]
Craig Ferguson
I love. It's like close up magic that when you. When you see something like that. But I had on the late night show, Barry Humphries came on as Dame Edna Evans.
- [31:42]
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, wow. Wow.
- [31:43]
Craig Ferguson
And that was weird because I knew Barry from not being Dave Edna ever genuine from off stage. So.
- [31:52]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [31:53]
Craig Ferguson
So when he came on, I thought, well, you know, this will be a nod and a wink and funny and it'll be Barry wearing a dress. But it wasn't. And it was really strange and kind of. It was like he's possessed or something.
- [32:07]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
- [32:08]
Craig Ferguson
It was really a wonderful thing.
- [32:10]
Paul F. Tompkins
Those character people that. That, that's their thing. It is astonishing how the thing that I always. That always gets Me is how well they remember the rules of their own character. That this is what makes this person this person and not just me. Like, you know, there's no, there's not, there's not a ton of winking. It's like I'm being funny being this person. I'm not like, you know, Barry Humphries is not saying, like, it's, isn't it funny? It's me to dress, you know, it's, it's, it's totally. You feel like this is a three dimensional person. That stuff. I marvel at that stuff. It's beautiful.
- [32:47]
Craig Ferguson
I think that the Madea movies are a bit like that as well, you know? Oh, my God. I didn't know that was a dude for ages.
- [32:56]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Yeah.
- [32:58]
Matt Rogers
Like, yeah.
- [32:59]
Craig Ferguson
Wow. It's. It's like when you find out, like something you really like in a show is actually British, that happens a lot.
- [33:07]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
- [33:08]
Craig Ferguson
Did you. What did you watch Yellowstone?
- [33:10]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [33:12]
Craig Ferguson
Best Dutton. I'm like, yeah, wait, Beth Dutton's from England? That doesn't make any sense at all to me. The accent, the actress, I mean, is amazing.
- [33:21]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, absolutely. Because it's, it's. Especially when you're doing an accent like that. It's not about just making the sounds.
- [33:28]
Craig Ferguson
Right.
- [33:28]
Paul F. Tompkins
There is a certain. You have to really. There's a physicality to it. There is a. There's a timing to it that's more than just, I pronounce ours this way. You know, you really have to. You really have to be at home.
- [33:42]
Craig Ferguson
If I'm doing it. It's just, I pronounce ours. That's what you're gonna get. You know, maybe I will wear a hat. Maybe I don't wear a hat. I might. Okay. But I'm not going to be working out or anything like that. That's not going to happen. I saw, I mean, the way, like, Tyler Perry does it, the way Barry Young does it. Or even like the guys who do the Marvel movies. Like, I heard, I think it was on Graham Norton's talk show, Henry Cavill talking about when he had some Superman scenes. He had to not drink water for a few days because it would make his veins pop. I'm like, yes. Fuck me, man.
- [34:21]
Paul F. Tompkins
Get up.
- [34:21]
Craig Ferguson
It's acting. It's. Get someone to draw it on you. Come on.
- [34:25]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's also like, you're already shredded.
- [34:29]
Craig Ferguson
I know.
- [34:29]
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what I mean? You're already there.
- [34:32]
Craig Ferguson
I know.
- [34:33]
Paul F. Tompkins
Who's. Who's clocking veins.
- [34:36]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah. Although I have to say I'm very intrigued by the Idea of Ozempic, I haven't gone there yet, but I worry about my weight and I think, hmm, is that, is that a way to go? But having struggled so much to get away from drugs that did things for me, I'm not a huge hurry. Go. I know it will happen at some point. Do you know what I mean? At some point I'm going to have to take something. But you know, I don't want to rush into. Would you ever do that? What about plastic surgery? Are you going to do that?
- [35:09]
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I don't, I don't think I ever would. I, I mean, no, no. Shame on people who do. It's like, do it you, what you feel you need to do. Yeah, but I feel like I've. And it's not like I'm thrilled with every aspect of my body and face, but there is a certain, there's a certain piece that you, an uneasy piece that you make with, you know, the aspects of yourself that you're not thrilled with that. I don't know, it just feels. I never got braces, you know, I feel like it's, this is, this is who I am and I might get.
- [35:48]
Craig Ferguson
My testicles done, I might get my test, I might, I make it start.
- [35:51]
Paul F. Tompkins
Smooth them out.
- [35:52]
Craig Ferguson
Smooth them out. Yeah, yeah. I mean, see what happened. Because, because even if, if they like, if they, if they may, you know, if they botch it, if it becomes a terrible job, it's still your testicles. I mean, they're, they're kind of weird and creepy looking anyway. At least mine are. So I don't think it's going to be a huge change. It's more a thing. I'm talking myself into it. Maybe I should try and get Ozempic with my testicles.
- [36:17]
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, you could just do steroids.
- [36:20]
Craig Ferguson
Is that what happens? Yeah, but I see, I like the idea of steroids if they give you muscles, but I heard they make you very angry. I don't need to be any angrier than that.
- [36:29]
Paul F. Tompkins
I feel that 100%. I'm, I'm my max level of rage right now.
- [36:35]
Craig Ferguson
I, I all the time. And it's what people don't understand about comedy. It's like comedy, but I hear a joke. Sometimes I'll hear a joke or my wife hears a joke and go, oh, the rage in that joke is so funny. It's so. And you know what I'm talking about, right?
- [36:49]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes.
- [36:51]
Craig Ferguson
And it's because the, the absolute darkest I ever met in Hollywood are the people who write or construct or perform romantic comedies. Those are the. Those people are like, yeah. And the people that make horror movies are adorable.
- [37:08]
Paul F. Tompkins
They're adorable. Yeah. The romantic comedy, the idea that people are essentially saying, like, isn't it funny that people think this could happen, that you could fall in love? You could find somebody and go to.
- [37:23]
Craig Ferguson
The Empire Building and run through the airport. Who the fuck's running through the airport? You can't run through the airport. That's ridiculous. Run through the airport, stop in the plane. You get tased if you try and stop in a plane. It's ridiculous.
- [37:37]
Paul F. Tompkins
Could you imagine being on a plane that somebody stopped because of love?
- [37:43]
Craig Ferguson
I don't care how much in love you are. I want to get to Denver. I have a connection.
- [37:47]
Paul F. Tompkins
This is miserable. You're making it longer.
- [37:51]
Craig Ferguson
You know, I think about that. You know, obviously, I'm sure you do the same. I travel a lot for work and, you know, you're constantly on airplanes. It's rare to see bad behavior on planes that. For as far as I can see, but I see it a lot. Documented.
- [38:06]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. I've never been on a plane where in all my years of travel where something crazy has happened where someone had to be escorted off the plane, where people had their phones out. You know, I don't know why I. I've, you know, not gone wood. It has not happened yet. Yeah, yeah, but. But yeah, it is.
- [38:24]
Craig Ferguson
I'm.
- [38:24]
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm sort of surprised that it doesn't happen more because it's such a. It's such a stressful environment. Being on a plane is such a stressful environment. But I. I think I have noticed that I did more touring the last year, 2024, than I have in years, maybe ever. And I was on the road a lot. And I was really embracing it after quarantine and everything, and it just happened. There were a bunch of gigs. I had my own tour. I had another person's tour that I was a part of, another tour that I did with musicians at the end of the year. And it was the year that I realized I have been telling myself that I don't enjoy traveling around and doing all this stuff, but I realized that I actually do. Even though being on a plane is miserable, I love the fucking vaudeville of it. I love going to a different place every day. I love it. And I think I tried to tell myself that I didn't, but God damn. I realized at a certain point when I was a kid, this was all I wanted to do. This was all I wanted to do. Like the idea of this going from this place to this place and doing a show and then packing up and.
- [39:36]
Craig Ferguson
Leaving like it's awesome.
- [39:37]
Paul F. Tompkins
I fucking love it, man.
- [39:39]
Craig Ferguson
I fucking love it.
- [39:46]
Matt Rogers
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- [40:17]
Craig Ferguson
Clorox Scentiva smells like lavender.
- [40:22]
Disney Cruise Line
Cleans like.
- [40:23]
Craig Ferguson
Clorox and feels like. Hmm.
- [40:34]
Disney Cruise Line
All right, that could go on for a while. Experience the long lasting freshness of Clorox Scintiva. Now available in Clorox Scentiva Lavender scented bleach. Use as directed.
- [40:44]
Bowen Yang
This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturesis with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
- [40:48]
Craig Ferguson
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
- [40:51]
Bowen Yang
Get ready for your cordially invited, a hilarious new movie starring comedy icon Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
- [41:03]
Craig Ferguson
Find out what happens when two weddings are accidentally booked on the weekend at the same remote venue. Uh oh. In a laugh out loud battle of determination and grit, the father of the bride, played by Will Ferrell and sister of the other bride, played by Reese Witherspoon chaotically go head to head and will stop at nothing to pull off an unforgettable celebration for the ones they love.
- [41:21]
Bowen Yang
And if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, shipwrecks, cornhole and all star comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out. In this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Feral vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy. You're cordially invited.
- [41:42]
Craig Ferguson
Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
- [41:44]
Disney Cruise Line
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- [42:19]
Craig Ferguson
Early on in my life when I started performing, I don't know if it was the same for you, but I would get very nervous before performance, like really terrified, terrified. And now before I go on stage, if I'm in a theater that hopefully I've never played it before, but even if I have played it before, there's so many of them and you're backstage and you hear the higher the crowd and you can hear the noise and you can kind of get a vibe and the lights are coming down and this show is about to happen and the mu. I've been playing the same warm up music for years so that you know the walk in music's the same and I know what it's going to be. There's a sense of peace that I get. And every night when I walk on like in the audience, hopefully they applaud. And just as I watch my hand go to reach for the microphone, just as it goes across that moment there, I fucking live for that moment. It's the craziest thing.
- [43:12]
Paul F. Tompkins
It took me a while to kind of be, to interpret the different types of feelings that I would have before a show because there were, when I was younger, there were shows that when you know that you are not the right person for this show and that you're going to go out there and it's not going to be good and.
- [43:31]
Craig Ferguson
That'S a certain movie's like that, oh, it is bad. And I, and I directed the movie.
- [43:39]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Then there's that feeling of, and I realized it on the, on the days that I had my own show that I was doing that I was putting on and that day of show is a certain feeling. And I, it took me a while to realize the feeling is I just wanted to start, I just want to be out there. I just want to be doing it. I, I, I'm, I don't want to be anticipating this all day. Let me just go. And now realizing that that feeling I have is 99% the feeling that I have before I go on stage that, that feeling in my stomach is oh yeah, I just want to get out there. I just want to get out there and do it. It's not, it's not that I'm afraid. It's not that I'm, I don't know how it, it's that I am embracing I, I, I love being out there. And I also am embracing. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how it's going to go. And that's exciting. It, it's, it's a really, it's a. Once I, once I kind of dialed into that, that, that's what it was then. I loved it. I loved that feeling. I loved that anticipation goes wrong.
- [44:42]
Craig Ferguson
Do you get a kick out of that?
- [44:44]
Paul F. Tompkins
I finally, finally have gotten to that point and it took seeing somebody else bombing and knowing, oh, he thinks this is funny. Like, it was a friend of mine that was trying out this character on the show. He was just fucking eating it. And but he, you never, you never would have known it. And I realized knowing the guy, that he is like, oh, this is funny to him, how badly this is going. He didn't want it to go badly, but he's enjoying how much he is bombing. And then I realized, oh, that can be a thing too. That could be.
- [45:17]
Craig Ferguson
Oh, definitely, definitely.
- [45:20]
Paul F. Tompkins
For me, that was. Right. Yeah.
- [45:22]
Craig Ferguson
For me, that was when late night became something I started to love because I've got there, especially at the beginning, I'd be writing jokes and I wasn't writing the jokes. Some guys would be writing in late night for years and write some jokes and I'd go say, hey, you guys see the playoffs? And I'm like, I really don't know what a playoff is. I'm like, hey, you watch the playoffs? Sorry about those Tigers and stuff. And I as I could not connect to the joke and therefore could not connect to the audience. You know, I was bombing and I found a strange thrill in it because. Especially because it was somebody else's joke that was bombing.
- [46:02]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely, yes.
- [46:04]
Craig Ferguson
Ah, great. And then I just thought, then it became more interesting to bomb than for it to work. And that became the show. The show became. We're making a piece of crap show in a basement that doesn't really work. And here's my discount robot with my buddy doing the voice. And, you know, that was what the show was. The show was the failure. And I think when I see particularly young performers now, there's some very good ones around, but everything they do is document, you know.
- [46:40]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
- [46:40]
Craig Ferguson
And I think that means your failures are up there all the time. And sometimes your failures are much more useful if you can keep them a little more private.
- [46:47]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Yeah. I don't envy people that are, that are coming up now, although, I mean, it's the same for most of us now that, you know, having and you can appreciate this, having been doing this for such a long time. Everything has changed in such a short amount of time from what we thought showbiz was when we got into it. And, yeah, now it's like, I feel like I'm playing catch up with a lot of that stuff. But younger people have to. Have to follow so many things. I'm lucky enough that I got somewhat established before a lot of this shit started becoming the norm. But for somebody that's starting out now, it has to be second nature to. To be engaged with all these social media things. There's a certain tone that you have to strike. Where I've seen it fluctuate from. You're not supposed to look like you're trying. No one wants to. You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to make an effort, because that's not cool. And now I feel like it's more. Yes, it's acceptable to look like you care about what you're doing, but you still have to strike a certain tone. I feel like figuring out your voice is. Maybe I could be wrong, but might be harder today for. For younger performers.
- [48:06]
Craig Ferguson
I think it's a different language, for sure. I. I think that also. What. I don't. I don't envy them. There was a certain amount of cool in being underground, I think when. Certainly when I was young, you know, it's like you didn't really want too many people to know what you were doing. You only wanted cool people to know what you were doing, you know? Yeah. I went, oh, listen, I saw the minute somebody came along and said, will you do a Lipton's Tea commercial? I'm like, I'm your guy. But it's not. It felt like it belonged, at least for a short time, that it belonged to us. And I wonder if they get that now. I mean, maybe they do. Maybe. And maybe the thing is, the young people who are doing that kind of thing, I don't know who they are because I'm not a young person, and they don't want me to think they're cool, so they're not interested in engaging with me. I don't know.
- [49:06]
Paul F. Tompkins
There is kind of a relief in that sense to be out of that conversation. It's like when you get to a certain point where you're watching young people do the thing. Like, hey, man, fucking do it. Do your thing. You don't need to hear from me. You absolutely don't need to hear from me.
- [49:20]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, no, I have no opinion on it. I used to pretend I didn't have an opinion on it so that I wouldn't get yelled at, but now I just really don't. I just, like, I don't give a fuck.
- [49:33]
Paul F. Tompkins
Fake it till you make it. Absolutely.
- [49:36]
Craig Ferguson
It's so funny as well. But because the, the whole idea, you know, when people bang on about, oh, you can't say that because of the woke generation and stuff, I'm like, that. I've been hearing that my whole fogging life. There's nothing new about that. You just made up a new fucking word.
- [49:51]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Yeah. I think when comedy, the state of comedy right now started to erode, when people thought. People started to think comedy was tough or like a, a tough guy thing. And it's like, no, it's not. The idea is you're supposed to be. We got into this because we're misfits or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, it was not too, I don't know, I, I, I, I could, I could just talk about that forever, but nobody wants to hear that complaining. But it's a really.
- [50:26]
Craig Ferguson
Well, you know, it's funny that, like, comedians now that look like, you know, models, you know.
- [50:31]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [50:32]
Craig Ferguson
And I'm like male and female. I'm like, wow, you guys look great. Like, where's the fat guy with one eye bigger than the other eye? Because he's the guy I want to see. Hey, how you doing? And I suppose I, I don't know. I mean, it's, it is an interesting thing, I think, along the way. See, the reason I came in comedy is because really, it was accepting of me. It accepted me that I couldn't fit in anywhere else. But when I hear people now, young people, discuss it, as it's my dream to have a career in comedy, I'm like, fuck, no. It was my dream to do pretty much anything else. But people go, heh heh. But then you start tasting it and you realize how awesome it is and how great it is, and I'm glad. I wouldn't do anything else. It is an odd thing that it became so incorporated. I blame Netflix a bit for it, actually. And I've made a couple of specials for them, but they are the devil. I mean, you know this, they're big, you know, like, make all one thing. And you. No, it's all, yeah. Although if they offer me 20 million for a special, I'll be like, oh, we better go back and find that podcast with Paul F. King and cut that bit out when I said they were the deal. But they it out of the devil.
- [51:56]
Paul F. Tompkins
Them, I have no problem agreeing to that.
- [51:59]
Craig Ferguson
They kind of are, you know, like, they. I'll tell you how much sense the algorithm thing is. I was looking for an airline ticket today, right? It's done the same way as fucking, you know, modern streaming techniques. So you first look at it and the ticket price was $12,000. It's a complicated trip, $12,000. And through. It was me who did it, it was Tomas that did it. But just, you know, going in, going a different way, doing a different thing and putting in one layover, which is not that big a deal. It went down to $6,000. See. And actually the class went up. That's how smart fucking AI is. Like, you're not that smart. I just don't buy it.
- [52:43]
Paul F. Tompkins
No, the whole AI thing that, the idea that it's not doing anything other than just like scraping, it's not, it's not, there's not, it's not as sophisticated as, as I think that we are told it is and as we are afraid it's going to be. The problem is people using it. It's not really the itself. It's that this is making worse. Like you can't, you can't use Google anymore.
- [53:14]
Craig Ferguson
No.
- [53:14]
Paul F. Tompkins
Because it's so shitty.
- [53:16]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah. You talk about greenhouse, the green effect as well. You talk about plan and the amount of power that needs. I mean, you know, AI companies are talking about building their own nuclear reactors so they can fuel these things. I mean, it's insane. Yeah. And then, but the idea of the AI, you know, when people have beasts, I think it's like you remember back in the day in the back of comic books, you would see that thing, it was the X ray specs and you can, I think they're X ray specs. You know, it's like, it's like. Oh, shut up. I tried getting chat GPT, write me some stand up.
- [53:57]
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I, I did that too. I tried chatgpt write some sketches and I would give the premise and everything and then a funny and I performed one stage. The, the, the thing that was so interesting to me was all the sketches resolved with the people being friends. Like that was, that was the ending was somehow through their differences, they, they found a common understanding. And it's like that robot, fuck that robot.
- [54:26]
Craig Ferguson
That robot. That robot.
- [54:27]
Paul F. Tompkins
Not funny robot.
- [54:28]
Craig Ferguson
Nothing about comedy.
- [54:30]
Paul F. Tompkins
That's not funny robot.
- [54:32]
Craig Ferguson
I love that though. I, I said to it, hey Chat gbd, write me a short Craig Ferguson stand up comedy routine. It wrote some bullshit about, hey, aren't giraffes funny? Looking when they drink water and stuff. And I was all angry at it. I was thinking, this is bullshit. And then I thought, you know, there might be something in this, though. But it's gonna need a major rewrite. It's gonna need a lot. I mean, I'm gonna need to get the robot. You're fired. But we're keeping the idea of the giraffe thing, and maybe it's something and maybe there's not, but it is an odd business. I'm fascinated, though, because I think it will change. I think the AI will change and expand, and I think it will at a certain point. Because I remember when I started out as a drummer and I was like, drum machines will never replace drummers.
- [55:20]
Paul F. Tompkins
Right?
- [55:20]
Craig Ferguson
It's the first thing to go. And I. I don't know.
- [55:26]
Paul F. Tompkins
Drumming is so much. You have so much shit that you have to. That you have to assemble. And I remember being on. Being on tour this year and. And, you know, I tour with a. I do a variety show and I have a band, and early on, you know, I. Everybody was packing up the shit after the show, and our drummer, Darla, I turned to our musical director and said, should we help Darla with that stuff? And he said, she made her choice. That's how. That's how everybody else in the band looks at drumrolls.
- [56:04]
Craig Ferguson
It is a bad. I used to hate it when you reply, and everyone would be, like, going to the bar and meeting all the kids that were in the club, and I'd be like, putting symbols in the big case, and it's horrible. But. And also. But the thing is, the great thing about being a comedian is you. You just leave.
- [56:27]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [56:28]
Craig Ferguson
You just.
- [56:28]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, leave. It's true.
- [56:30]
Craig Ferguson
I. I get this. I get into this for a while that I would leave before the audience, so I'd be like, good night, everybody. And I would have the. The stage door open as he's run straight out into the car.
- [56:42]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Mr. Ferguson has left the building.
- [56:44]
Craig Ferguson
That's right. But nowadays, part of the thing. I don't know if you're doing this. You do the meet and greets now?
- [56:49]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, I'll do them. Yeah.
- [56:51]
Craig Ferguson
And actually, I love it.
- [56:52]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, it's a really.
- [56:53]
Craig Ferguson
I love it.
- [56:54]
Paul F. Tompkins
It's such a. I. Here's the thing. I dread it every time. And then after it's over, I think that was absolutely wonderful.
- [57:01]
Craig Ferguson
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. You meet people and, you know, sometimes you hear some stories that are really hard to hear, but absolutely. It's a level of connection with the audience I was surprised about.
- [57:12]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, you know, it's a. It's a really wonderful thing to. To. It's very humbling to hear somebody say, you know, what you do has helped me in some way, has helped me through a bad time or something like that. But it's also. There's. There's a. There's a connection there in terms of what. What you both find funny, the way that you look at the world. Like, you're, You're. You're meeting people who came to you for a reason, and you just have that moment of. Of communion with them that maybe only lasts a few minutes, but it's a really wonderful thing to. Just. Because it makes us both more human to each other, you know, I think that's right.
- [57:55]
Craig Ferguson
And the mistake that I made early on with it as well is that people would say things like, when you were on late night, I was very sick or my parent was ill or something, and they would say it helped me out. And I would. And I regret it now. I would say, oh, no, it wasn't me. You did it. Or it's not do. I mean, but. But now I do. I feel that that's unfair because it kind of diminishes it for them. And so if somebody says that to me now, I'm like, I'm really glad that happened. I'm really glad that somehow. Obviously I wasn't aware your mom was sick or you were sick, but I'm glad you had a laugh. I'm glad you had a laugh tonight. You know, I mean, that's. That's what it's about.
- [58:36]
Paul F. Tompkins
And thank you for sharing that with me, you know, because it is very. Because you know what? It feels like you've been in a dark time where a piece of art helped you cope, you know, just helped you. Just gave you a moment where you're like, okay, I can. I can do this another day. I can. You know, I. There's. There is brightness out there somewhere. I just have to. I just have to trust that I'm going to get to it. Like, you know, that feeling, and to. To be that for somebody else and to have them tell you is such a privilege.
- [59:08]
Craig Ferguson
It is. You're right.
- [59:10]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. It's incredible.
- [59:11]
Craig Ferguson
It is. And it's. And it's kind of. It's one of the great things about. You mean. I'm not happy about all the barriers breaking down between the performer and the audience. I think that, you know, I kind of used to like the idea that there was a kind of artist entrance. But I think that's one of the really good parts of it. Yeah. You know, I mean, the bad part is that everybody's a expert now. And, you know, you get some. Some guy saying in a chat room saying, that's not comedy.
- [59:44]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
- [59:45]
Craig Ferguson
Off, get a job. You know, I mean, it's like, what are you. You. And I. And I kind. Of. That kind of annoys me a little bit, But I think I might just be getting older and crankier. That makes me that simple as. Yeah, yeah. Have you found yourself getting a little crankier?
- [60:02]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I get it now. I get old people. I get it now. It's like, you've lived a long time. A lot of this shit you've heard before, and you sort of. You get less patient with certain things. You get more patient with other things, though, which is really wonderful.
- [60:18]
Craig Ferguson
True story. That is true.
- [60:19]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [60:20]
Craig Ferguson
I made that decision about the aging process this very day, actually, is that I've decided. I made a decision because that's. I've been thinking about. A lot of people who've been watching this podcast, I'm sure, are sick of hearing me talking about, oh, I'm getting older and I'm thinking about things, but now I've reached a complete new feeling about it, which is this. I'm fucking ignoring it. I'm ignoring it until it makes its presence felt. And until that time, it's none of my fucking business. I'm older. So is everybody else. Everybody else is fucking older, too. What am I going to do about it? You know? So until my hip starts hurting or my ears get super big or whatever it is, you know, this, I'm gonna ignore it.
- [60:59]
Paul F. Tompkins
You take it as it comes. You take it as it comes. One thing I. I do appreciate in a way that I. And it's. It's funny to me is when I was younger and I would hear older people talking about the weather, and I would think, what the. Why this boring conversation that you're having about what a nice day it is. And now I get it because it's like, I'm here another day. I'm appreciating things in a way that I couldn't appreciate them before and seeing how beautiful life is, and part of that is, it's a nice day today. And I get how enjoyable it is now to discuss that with somebody else.
- [61:44]
Craig Ferguson
I also think that if it's a nice day, you're much less likely to slip hip and fall and hurt your head.
- [61:52]
Paul F. Tompkins
Very true.
- [61:52]
Craig Ferguson
So it's like, it's. It's a nice day. I think I'll go outside.
- [61:57]
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what risky a thing that I think about a lot is I probably think about this once a day. When is the next time I'm going to fall? Like, when's the next time I'm going to trip and just eat shit? Just go right down when I'm. When's the next time I'm going to, like, scrape the shit out of my knee on the sidewalk? Because it's going to happen at some point. But when is it going to be?
- [62:21]
Craig Ferguson
Well, do you ski?
- [62:23]
Paul F. Tompkins
I do not ski.
- [62:24]
Craig Ferguson
If you prefer ski, then there you'll be like, ramp it up.
- [62:29]
Paul F. Tompkins
I think I avoid most activities that require falling as a part of the learning process. So we'll see.
- [62:37]
Craig Ferguson
I don't. I never skied until I was in my mid-40s, but I married into a family of skiers, and now my children ski and.
- [62:47]
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
- [62:47]
Craig Ferguson
And I have to go on the. Like. Like. Like with really tiny little kids on that conveyor belt, like toddlers. And then there's me, like some kind of giant creeper with. You know, it's gonna have to go up the thing and do pizza, French fries. My skis, very, very humiliated.
- [63:02]
Paul F. Tompkins
Wait, what's pizza, French fries? What?
- [63:05]
Craig Ferguson
Well, that's how you learn the ski, right? You do pizza. It's how you slow down. And then French fries is when you. When you're going fast, you want to slow down. Pizza, go fast, French fries. That's how they tell it to little kids. Normally, if anyone is on a ski slope and they're 60 fucking 2, they either know what they're doing or they're drunk. Or sometimes both.
- [63:26]
Paul F. Tompkins
True.
- [63:26]
Craig Ferguson
But it is what it is. Well, look, it's been a delight talking to you. I wish we could go longer, but I'm getting too old for this shit.
- [63:35]
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, understood. This is one of those times where you feel it. Yeah, I do.
- [63:39]
Craig Ferguson
I feel it in my hip, in my water. And it's such a nice day, I want to go outside and enjoy it.
- [63:46]
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly, exactly.
- [63:48]
Craig Ferguson
Listen, stay well in Los Angeles, Paul. Continue success and. And thank you. I. I thank you so much for being on the podcast. You are indeed a joy. You bring so much to others and certainly to me. I remain a fan, not just of Mr. Peanut Butter, but, you know, that's a component part of my regard for you is that.
- [64:09]
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Thank you so much.
- [64:12]
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
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We have a confession to make.
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Matt Rogers
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Craig Ferguson
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