A (0:00)

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, it's actually, it's about an hour and a half and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while anyway. Come and see me live on the Pants on Fire tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the Tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond. For a full list of dates, go to thecraigfergusonshow.com See you on the road, my dears.

B (0:32)

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Joid Podcast. I am your host, Craig Ferguson, here with my friend Snakey. Snakey the snake mug. That's not his name. Don't ever say that. My name is Craig Ferguson. Welcome to the Joid podcast, where today what we're going to do is. What we've been doing recently is taking questions from you, and I will answer your questions in the most honest way or sometimes dishonest way possible. It is, in fact, a reflection of the Internet. Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's just simply not true. That's a tasty beverage. That's what that is. Definitely true. All right, so with a lot of messages coming in now, if you know anything about this podcast, you'll know that sometimes it's just me talking and sometimes it's you talking to me, and sometimes it's just me talking to someone else in a studio. I don't do the zooms because I tried doing that and I didn't care for it. I didn't care for the zoom interviews. So no more of that. So what I will do, it's nothing to do with the people I talk to. It's just, it's very sunny here. I apologize. Well, I'm not apologizing. There's nothing to do with me, but it's sunny here, so I'd have to. If you notice, I'm in the shade. If you're watching this, if you're listening to this, it doesn't matter, but if. If you're watching it, I'm in the shade between a pillar. If I go that way, it's too sunny, and if I go the other way, it's too sunny. So I'm going to probably sit quite still. But if you're only listening to this and not watching it, this will have no interest to you whatsoever. Like many other things, perhaps, Ned podcast, but that's the way it is. Anyway, today is a podcast where I'm talking to you, drinking a delicious beverage out my coiled snake. Good times. All right, this is from Rebecca Nierdis from Sweden. Now let me just say this. First of all, I don't know if that's how you pronounce Rebecca's second name, Nierdis. I have been to Sweden though, and I did meet someone called Njerdis, I think, I don't know, they might not have been pronounced their own name properly. It's very hard to tell with the language you don't speak. Let's say that I really liked Sweden when I was there, by the way, I don't know if you've ever been to Sweden, but I went to Sweden and I stayed in Stockholm in a place called the Diplomat Hotel and it was fantastic. And they do this thing called Hygge. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it properly, but what it is, is towards the, when you're having breakfast in the morning, towards the end of the year, like or in the fall and stuff like that gets very cold and dark up in Sweden. So they do. I think higga is a Swedish word for cozy. But I mean, during breakfast they used to light little candles. At breakfast time I went, oh. So now every day when I'm having breakfast or I don't have breakfast every day, sometimes I just have a cup of coffee. Most times I just have a cup of coffee. But when I have cup of coffee with, I have to say my lady wife, usually if I'm at home and if I'm not at home, then actually probably still like this. We do it like this. She has a cup of coffee, I have a cup of coffee. And we do usually light a little candle. I'll show you actually, if you're actually seeing this, not just listening, there's a little candle here. Look, here's a little candle. See? And sometimes we're having coffee. This is the, this room here that gets all the sun. We, we have a little coffee and a little hangout. Anyway, this is from Rebecca in Sweden. She says, what is your favorite snow based activity? Now, coming from Sweden, I'm not surprised to hear that. And living here in the northeastern United States, we also get snow. Now, I have to say I grew up in a country where although it can be cold and damp, the snow is never that great. So snow based activity for us was mostly slush. It was a slush based activity. So it would be like making some form of ice ball that you could brutally assault your enemies With. I don't know if that's an activity or sort of war. Anyway, we used to make slush balls and compress them into ice and then throw them at each other. It was very, very painful. Some of the kids got hurt badly. Anyway, the snow that you get here in New England is a lot. A lot better. And my wife's family are all big skiers. They do a lot of the skiing. And I didn't try skiing until I was in my. Well, I tried skiing once in Scotland when I was a kid, when I was about 15 or 16, and I hated it. And I thought, why does anyone do. This Is awful. We just kept falling over all the time. And it was damp and wet and hard and squishy. And then I went on a skiing trip when I was in California. My wife's family, aerobic skiers, and she wanted to go to Mammoth. So we went up to Mammoth when our youngest. Our oldest was young, and I went skiing up there. And I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And I did love it. So I do like skiing. I don't like the snowboarding. I took some lessons in that one. So when I was doing a comedy show in Aspen and this guy gave me snowboard lessons, I didn't like it. I didn't have a. Like having a board tied to my feet and. And I kept falling my ass all the time. I suppose that clears up after you've learned a bit, I don't know. But it really hurt. So much so that I was like, I can't take any more of this. And so I do quite like skiing. But that being said, I'm not very good at it. And I feel like I'm reaching a point in my life now where if I hurt myself, it might be bad because, you know, I. I've got. My bones and organs are all a bit more vintage than they used to be. One of the things that happens as you get older. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but it takes longer to heal. I had a motorcycle accident. Motorcycle accident once when I was 40 years old. And I was on this motorcycle and I had an accident. I broke three ribs in my collarbone, and it was very painful, and it took months to heal. But I suspect if it happened to me now, it would be even longer because, you know, all my old organs and skin and all that, all. All old. So it feels like I. I actually. If you're unaware, if you're young and you don't know what it feels like to be Olding to be old. Olding. If you're olding, if you're young and you don't know what it feels like to be old, imagine you've had a motorcycle accident. That's what it feels like. It feels like you're recovering from a motorcycle accident all the time. Actually, you know what it feels like. I feel like getting older is like I stopped. I mean it's very. Everybody knows this. I stopped drinking when I was in my late 20s, when I was 29. And so I haven't had a hangover in a long time. But nowadays I wake up with and it feels like I've got a hangover and I haven't had anything to drink for 30 something years. But I still wake up with kind of a hangover because that's just what happens as you get older. You kind of wake up with a hangover. So there you are, young people, if you don't know what it's like getting old, imagine you had a motorcycle crash when you were drunk and suddenly you're 60. Although some people are in great shape. I'm not in bad shape. I just feels bad when I wake up in the morning. So my favorite snow based activity, to be honest, Rebecca is probably Higga hi. Which is the snow. Sitting down and being cozy indoors is probably my favorite snow based activity. Yes, I think that's right. This is from Lisa B. In Dallas, Texas. I don't know if Lisa is a B or she's trying to remain anonymous, which is Lisa B. Or maybe is there a singer called Lisa B. Maybe it's the singer Lisa B. I don't know. There might be a singer called Lisa B. I'm not aware of. Lisa says, does Scotland take credit for Scotch tape? If not, they should. Well, I think they probably could. I don't know. I'm not in charge of what Scotland does or takes credit for but I feel Scotch tape is called Scotch tape because there's a little bit of tartan on the box. I think that's it. Maybe Scotch tape is from Scotland. I bet you there's somebody on the Internet who knows. Bet you there's somebody on there. Hey, by the way, I don't know if you, if you're just listening to this, this will make no sense to you. But I've just noticed that when drinking right handedly from the snake cup, the snake's face bites you in your face. That's probably why I always drank using my left hand because the snake doesn't bite you. So there's a tip for you, if you have a snake cup like the old one I used to have late night. Don't drink with your right hand, because if you drink it with your right hand, the snake's going to bite you in the face. Does Scotland take credit for Scotch tape? I don't think. I don't think it was invented in Scotland. It might have been. And then the Internet will tell you. The Internet will tell you, because the Internet is full of the information. It's the information superhighway. Richard from Merrimack, New Hampshire, I know where that is. It's not too far from here, actually. Richard from Merrimack, New Hampshire, says, craig, I saw you were in the Ken Burns the American Revolution documentary. I didn't. How did you get involved in it? Did you have to up your Scottish accent since you're American now and you only have a hint of one? Well, yeah, How I got involved in it was if you hear from Ken Burns, like, if you hear. Ken Burns would like you to do a voice in the documentary. I mean, I just. I got a phone call, said, Ken Burns wants you to do a voice. Voice. It's kind of like a summons. You know what I mean? Ken Burns is kind of like a. I feel like he's an institution. It's kind of like saying you have to be. It's like jury duty a little bit. He's like, yeah, you better go, Ken Burns. So you go. And they're very nice. And I did some voices in it. I did the voice of John Paul Jones, who was a Scotsman. That was the father of the American Navy, as I'm sure you all know, because you're Americans. And. And the Scottish people will know this, too. He was a sailor. You want. You want a sailor to be, you know, in charge of the Navy. You don't want to get put in the hands of a, you know, a computer tech guy. Probably wouldn't allow them around in 70, 76, but you know what I'm saying? Anyway, the. He was qualified to do it. How did I get involved? Well, they just asked me. Did I have to dampen down my accent? Now, it's interesting that, because I have had Scottish people tell me that I don't have an accent anymore. And that sound. You sound like a yaiki. Sound like yaiki, by the way, in Scotland just means anyone from America. It doesn't mean people from around here. In New England, there's plenty of Yankees around here, but Yankee means any American. I think it's from the Second World War when Yankee Meant that to the British people, anyway, the Yanks are coming and all that stuff. Anyway, the little thing there. So Scottish people say, you said, lie, American, you're Scottish. When it's sushi. That's another one. Scottish. When it's sushi, I'm like, well, okay, I guess, or I suppose it changes. I've noticed that when I'm talking to Scottish people, my kids say this, you sound much. When I'm talking to Scottish people, I sound much more Scottish. And when I'm talking to American people, I said, much more American. Now, I have a theory about this, which is I like to be understood. So I don't like to repeat myself over and over again. So I've learned, I'm not conscious of doing this, but I have learned probably over the years that if I adapt my accent sufficiently, then again, I swear I'm not conscious of doing. I don't think about doing it, but it probably just happens that I end up talking, changing my accent sufficiently so that I don't have to repeat myself and stuff like that. But I still think a lot of Americans would consider me having more than just a hint of an accent. But I don't know. It depends. So, you know, my job is in large part is to make myself understood. So I think it's important that I make myself understood. Did I have to change my accent when I did the Ken Burns documentary? Do you know? I think I did a little bit. I think I leaned into it a little bit when I was doing the Scottish voices, but I also did some northern English voices in that documentary as well. So people are talking like that from Game of Thrones type voice and all that. I did voices like that, too. So I, I. Yes, when you're doing voice work, you tend to mess around with your accent. When I was doing that, the dragon movies and I played Gobber and the dragon movie cartoons, or do you call them cartoons? We might call them animated movies. I can't remember. But the. When I was doing the Gobber voice, I would talk a lot more. I was a lot more Scottish like that. But that's not really how people were in Glasgow talk. That's how people in Fife on the east coast of Scotland talk. So you mess around with your voice. What I'm saying is you mess around with your voice. You mess around with your voice a little bit when you're using it. So, yeah, I did mess around with it. Carrie Howard from San Francisco, California has sent in a question. She says, what is the best sandwich? Well, it's A wholly contested issue. The best sandwich, of course, I think it is. It's a subjective. Obviously, I can't say definitively the best sandwich, because if I said, for example, the BLT was the best sandwich, then vegans would be an uproar. Unless the B stood for bush. Bush, Bush, lettuce and tomato sandwich with vegan butter is by far and away the best sandwich. So I'm gonna say definitively the best sandwich for every day is the blt, the bush lettuce and tomato sandwich, or the bacon, lettuce and tomato. It depends on what your bee is. If your B is bacon, good for you. If your bee is bush, good for you. Everybody should enjoy a little of both, in my opinion. Except bacon. I can't eat bacon anymore. Too old. My bowlington organs wouldn't have it. Plus, I've never been a fan of eating. Of eating bacon. And this. This may come as a shock to many of you. I like the smell of bacon, but I don't like to eat bacon. I don't eat pork. No. For no religious reason or anything like that. I'm not a religious person, but I. But I'm a known porker, you know, et wise, I'm a bit of a porker. And when it comes to, you know, my own personal girth. This is from Brook Anders. Vernal. Wow, that's a great name. And Broke Andrus Vernal. I wonder if. Or if he's from Sweden or I wonder if it's from Broke Andres in Vernal. But I don't know where Vernal is. Is it America? Vernal? I look forward to your informed comments. Brock Andrews says, or Brock in Andrews Vernal. Get on with it. Lemony Snickets, he says, is one of my favorite movies. How is it working with Jim Carrey? It was interesting doing that movie, the Lemony Snickets movie. I did that movie. I'm watching that movie about a month. I think I'm in the movie for about four or five seconds. There's one of those movies where you do a bunch of things. The director had this idea that he was going to do a bunch of improvised scenes. So I did a bunch of stuff with Jennifer Coolidge and Jamie Harris and Louis Guzman. We did a bunch of improvised scenes. But the thing about when you do improvised scenes in a movie, they never make end of the movie, really. Unless. Unless it's part of the story. Because by the time you get to the end of the movie, you're like, we don't have Time for anything. You have to take them all out. And so none of those scenes ever really made it into the film. But we did a lot of time in makeup, I remember, and I very much enjoyed working with Jennifer Coolidge and Jane Addams and Louis Guzman and Jamie Harris. I will say this, I didn't work much with Jim Carrey. I worked with him a little bit. He was great, though. He was very, very nice. And I remember there's one day, it was after filming and we were all here to kind of. It was like the end of the week. We worked Monday to Friday and at the end of the week, on the Friday we were all kind of. Jim's trailer was at one end of the. We were all kind of spread out and he was at one end of the lot. And we went over. Everyone is like, over to Jim's trailer and we were all going over there and. And I remember particularly because I was sitting down talking to someone and Jim came over and he handed me a Diet Coke because I was drinking Diet Coke at the time. He went, hey, I got you a Diet Coke. And I thought I'd say it's pretty good. He's like a big giant movie star on a big giant movie. And he was noticing people and being friendly and being nice. And my experience with Jem has always been a 100% positive. He's always been very friendly, very nice. I kind of engaged, I mean, clearly an extremely talented and a bit, bit of a loony, I think, in some ways a bit. But that's kind of my. It's my favorite people, really. You know, kind of little unhinged, little crazy, very talented, very clever and, and, and kind. I feel like he's like a kind guy. That was the vibe I got from him. I don't know him very well, but he seemed very nice and so I enjoyed it. Is the short answer Milton Mina says, do you think AI can make a show about the simple pleasures of Daffy Duke? Would you watch it? Now, reading from that, I can only assume that you're mentioning there was a bit of improvisation. Josh Robert Thompson and I did on the old late night show. Josh, of course, was the genius behind my robot skeleton friend, Jeff Peterson. And Josh and I would all often improvise. Now, the good thing is about improvising in a late night show, particularly one where there's no script. It'll make it into the show. So it was in the show. And I remember I mispronounced Daffy Duck at some point. I said Daffy Duke and then he busted my balls for saying Daffy Duke. And then we pretended to be German and said we love to Daffy talk or something like that. I can't even remember what it was, but it was a thing. And then it became a kind of running joke in the show about the simple precious of Duffy Doke being a sort of wistful German cartoon animated idea, I guess. Anyway, the outro is. Do you know what was weird? I adjusted my hoodie. I'm wearing a hoodie because it's a bit chilly today. And I thought, oh, I better be careful because of the microphone. And then there is no microphone. Just me and you, Tomkin. Yeah, you get conditioned. I think it's because I'm drinking out of the snake cup. I expect to be wearing a microphone because I don't know if you guys know this, but when I was doing that late night show, I was always wearing a microphone. That's how you heard me. Anyway, could AI the implication be, could AI do a show like my old late night show? Well, funnily enough, I was talking to some people about this because a friend of mine, a fashion designer and a very talented man called Con Delane who does the kid super brand we were talking about, he was saying, I wonder if AI it was just something he was talking about. I don't think he's an AI expert or anything, but he's young, so he may be. Anyway, he and I were talking about it and we imagined, I wonder if AI could take all my old late night shows because there's like thousands of hours of that old late night show, thousands of hours of it, and create new shows using that imagery. I bet if it can't yet, it probably can soon. And then I'm thinking to myself, well, is that good or bad? And I think the simple answer is, well, it depends if I get paid for it. If I get paid for it, it's good and if I don't get paid for it, I'm against it. I don't know if AI could have done it in the first place. I don't think so. I'm not a huge believer in the AI you know, ever. I've interacted with AI, I'm like, it feels like this is just voice operated Google to me, but I don't know, maybe it really can do things. Whenever I've talked to people who don't work in Show Business and AI When I've talked to, I remember talking to Dr. Robert Sofolio, who's been on this podcast a couple of times the leading, one of the leading thoracic surgeons in the world. Talk to him about AI. He's like, oh, I love it. It's saving lives and it can do so much and help and stuff. So depending on who you talk to, people are either very negative about it. You know, people like me who are like, well, what if I don't get paid? And then people who actually will use it as a useful tool, like I suspect diagnosticians and surgeons and engineers, people who can really, you know, scientists, I guess. I think it's, I think it can use for that. Can it make my old late night show? No, I don't think so. Could it make my old late night show out of old late night shows? Yeah, maybe. And that might be interesting. This is from John Templeton who says, craig, what were the pros and cons of hosting a game show? Would you do it again? You looked like you had a lot of fun hosting Celebrity Name Game. I did have a lot of fun hosting Celebrity Name Game. I enjoyed hosting that show and we did hundreds of them. I like hosting game shows for a couple of reasons. One, it's a world which is, and this is really important, it's a world to itself. So you're not referencing anything outside the room. It's you, the contestants and what's going on. So you don't have to get involved in any other subject other than what you're doing. There is a task to do and I like that. I feel like it focuses you. Even when I was doing late night, I always had this idea that it would focus me if I would talk to the robot or interact. You want to try and be in the room with the things. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well, but it just feels self contained. So I like game shows for that. And the other thing is you're kind of. Every time you host a game show, you make somebody at least a little bit happy. Maybe not the audience. It's not always possible to make the audience is happy, but you're usually giving someone some cash. And the added bonus, it's not my cash. So I just give them cash that isn't even mine and make them happy. And I liked it so much that I did in fact accept the job of hosting another one. I hosted a show called Scrabble. Now Scrabble is. I don't know if you're familiar with Scrabble. It's a game. It's a great game. I play it a lot. I play it in my phone sometimes a Lot of times on my own and I, you know, we play Scrabble in the house and stuff, but I was asked to host the game show TV version of Scrabble. Scrabble. Did I say Scrabble? That's a completely different game. Scrabble and I hosted it and we shot, I think it's like 30 hours of it. It's a lot of it. 30 hours or 60 half hours, I can't, I can't remember. Anyways, a lot of shows and they're done and we finished them and they're starting in this on the CW in January. So then you'll get to see if you like it. I think we did a good job. It's not that easy to, to get Scrabble and translate it onto the tv, but the guys working on it did a fantastic job, I think. And it really plays like Scrabble. But watching it on tv, well, I thought so anyway, and I enjoyed watching it. And I hope they asked me to do more because I liked it. I liked it a lot. And if they don't ask me to do more, I'll be all right. But I hope they do because I liked it. I'm looking down here because this is where my computer is with the questions on it. I'll do one more and then that'll be it. I wouldn't bother you more today. Next week, by the way. I'm going to be in California, I think California or Florida, I'm certainly going to be somewhere where it's sunny. I'm filming for a different TV show, not Scrabble. I'm filming next week in Florida and California. So in both of those places I'll be able to do a podcast where I talk to someone. Maybe not in Florida, because I don't know anyone in Florida, but maybe I'll meet someone. And in California I know a lot of people. And so I think what we'll try and do is we'll do some interview type shows when I'm in California, but until then, I'll do one more. One of these. This one that we're doing now, this is the one we're doing now. This is from Anton in Croatia. Okay. Anton says, craig, why don't you ride motorcycles anymore? I do. I do ride motorcycles. I don't ride them as much as I used to, but I do ride them. The same motorcycle, in fact, that I used to. Just so you know, Croatia and a motorcycle is the best possible travel combination in the world. I've never been to Croatia. I've Heard it's very nice and lovely for riding motorcycles. I tell you. Look, I have. Here's how much I still ride motorcycles. This is T shirt I'm wearing here. It says Team Nova. Good, honest, obsessed. Team Nova Motorcycles is a motorcycle repair shop in Turner's Falls, Massachusetts. And they. They repaired my old Indian Scout and they gave me a T shirt as well. So, you know, they're not paying me to advertise them. But I will say this. They do give you a free. I don't know if they give everyone a free T shirt. Maybe I got a free T shirt because. Because I was on tv. That sometimes happens. I'm not going to lie to you. Sometimes I think, oh, they give free T shirts to everybody, but I don't know if they do. But Nova Motorcycles in Millers Falls, Massachusetts, they fixed up. They gave me this lovely T shirt and they fixed up my old Indian Scout, which had been sitting around for a while now. The Indian Scout that I have is not that old. It's. It's a 2001 Indian Scout, which the Indian Motorcycle Company was 100 years old in 2001, so they made a hundred Centennial Scouts. Sorry, a thousand Centennial Scouts. A thousand Centennial Scouts. And I bought one of them in 2001. And I still have it and I still ride it around a little bit. But like I said at the start of this epic, I did have a motorcycle crash, motorcycle accident about 20 years ago, so. 2000? Yeah, about 2005. Yeah, I had a motorcycle crash. 2004, in fact, and maybe more than that. Anyway, I had a Motorcycle X in 2002, maybe, and it was bad. And I still ride motorcycles. I mean, it wasn't that. It could have been a lot worse. I still ride motorcycles, but I don't feel like I ever got that little accident out of my head. And I don't ride them the way I used to, which is probably no bad thing. I mean, it's not that I was particularly daring on motorcycles. I wasn't. But, you know, I have kids and boys and girls. My older boy, you know, man, no, I guess is not. He doesn't seem that interested in motorcycles. But the younger one, I don't know, I like them. Be great if they weren't into motorcycles. You know what I'm saying? I feel like it's a real way to get hurt now. I know people love them and I love them, too. And I do ride it around, and it's not really about me. I feel like I could handle the motorcycle okay, but I get Very concerned about, you know, the way other people drive a little bit. It's. I feel a little bit like, remember right at the start when we're talking about skiing, what's your favorite snow based activity? And then I started bleating on about my bones and organs. I think I feel the same way about motorcycle. I feel like, you know, if I was to get in a motorcycle accident now, it'd be tough getting back from the. You never know what you're going to get either. You might not get to walk away from it. So I don't think I ever quite got that out of my head. The feeling of invulnerability left me after I had that accident and I never quite got that back. So in conclusion, that's all for today. So the conclusion is my favorite skiing activity, my favorite snow based activity is staying indoors and having a delicious beverage. I still ride motorcycles, but not really a little bit. I have one and I ride it sometimes, but only on a nice day in the summer when I feel like it. And some other stuff in between about whatever else we talked about. So that's us marking the spot. I bid you a hearty, snake filled gulp and I will see you next week. I think from California. I'll need to check the calendar. California or Florida, I certainly won't be here because I have to. I don't know if you know, I've been at home for a while, I haven't shaved or I'll have to do all that. Shave and get haircut and go back to work. So I will. I'll talk to you guys in a bit. Stay well. Sa.