What if the thing that’s making leadership feel so heavy isn’t the pressure but the pretending?

EPISODE SUMMARY

What happens when leadership rewards performance—but quietly erodes the person underneath it? In this episode of Joyosity in Practice, Jenn Whitmer sits down with Australian employment lawyer and leadership coach Karen Ansen for a powerful conversation about presence, power, conflict, and what it really costs leaders when they disconnect from themselves in the name of professionalism. Karen brings decades of experience working with leaders in high-stakes, emotionally charged environments—law, HR, and organizational conflict—and names what many leaders feel but rarely say out loud: avoiding discomfort doesn’t create peace; it creates problems. Together, Jenn and Karen explore why presence is not a “nice-to-have,” how healthy conflict actually builds trust, and why curiosity—not control—is one of the most underrated leadership skills. This episode is for leaders who are tired of performing strength and ready to practice it.

Here’s What’s in the Episode:

[01:15] How leadership erosion happens quietly and why self-abandonment is a hidden leadership risk.
[06:24] Why “professionalism” often blocks leadership presence and emotional intelligence at work.
[10:45] Big personalities in leadership: why confidence in women leaders is misread as a problem.
[15:12] The cost of avoiding self-awareness, mindfulness, and emotional presence in leadership.
[20:59] People management and leadership stress: why leading humans is the hardest leadership skill.
[23:33] Letting go of control in leadership: how outcome detachment improves communication and trust.
[30:06] Conflict management for leaders: a practical framework for difficult conversations without avoidance or escalation.

Leaders searching for leadership presence, emotional intelligence at work, and conflict management skills often assume they need better scripts, stronger authority, or tighter control. This episode challenges that assumption—exploring how self-awareness in leadership, mindfulness at work, and staying present during difficult conversations actually build trust, reduce defensiveness, and improve team communication

You’ll hear practical insights on managing people under pressure, leading through conflict, and how letting go of control can make you a more effective, human leader—without sacrificing credibility or results.

Key Takeaway

Joy at work isn’t about shunning discomfort quickly—it’s about staying present long enough to learn from it.

About the Guest: Karen Ansen

Karen Ansen is an employment lawyer, HR strategist, and leadership coach based in Australia. She is the principal of Ignite HR and the founder of Ignite Your Purpose, where she works with leaders navigating conflict, complexity, and high-stakes decision-making without sacrificing their humanity. Karen is known for her rare ability to blend legal precision with emotional intelligence—helping leaders solve real problems by addressing the human dynamics underneath them. Connect with Karen at ignitehr.com.au.

About the Host: Jenn Whitmer

Jenn is an international keynote speaker, leadership consultant, and the founder of Joyosity™, helping leaders create positive, profitable cultures through connection, curiosity, and joy. With a background in communication, conflict resolution, and team dynamics, Jenn helps leaders and organizations navigate complex people challenges, reduce burnout, and build flourishing workplaces. Her insights have resonated with audiences worldwide, blending real-world leadership expertise, engaging storytelling, and a dash of humor to make the hard stuff easier. Whether on stage, in workshops, or with coaching clients, Jenn equips leaders with the tools they need to solve conflict, cultivate communication, and lead with purpose. Her book Joyosity and the Joyosity Works Playbooks offer leaders a fresh approach to joy at work that builds real results. jennwhitmer.com

Jenn's Socials:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/jenn_whitmer/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennwhitmer/

Resources & Links:

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Find direct links to purchase at your favorite booksellers at https://jennwhitmer.com/books.

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Ep. 129, Managing People Is the Hard Part with Karen Ansen