#1796 School Ties

Summary

Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes

Episode #1796: "School Ties"

Host: Scott Benner
Guest: Courtney, Elementary School Principal & T1D Parent
Date: March 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Juicebox Podcast features an in-depth conversation with Courtney, an elementary school principal and a mother of a child diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes (T1D) at age five. Now two years into managing her daughter's condition, Courtney shares personal stories, emotional transitions, and actionable insights into handling T1D as both a parent and an education professional. The episode centers around adapting to diabetes care, managing school relationships, advocating for your child, and blending personal wellness with diabetes management.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Diagnosis Journey and Early Challenges

• Serendipitous Awareness: Courtney first became alert to diabetes symptoms after a college reunion where a friend recounted her own child's T1D diagnosis. Courtney recognized the symptoms in her own daughter (increased thirst, frequent urination).
  • “It was interesting because...I thought to myself…Maggie, my daughter, has some of those symptoms.” (04:12, Courtney)
• Confirmation and Immediate Impact: At a pediatrician visit, her daughter's blood glucose was 350 mg/dL, leading to an ER visit and admission.
  • “She had glucose in her urine and her blood sugar was 350. I love my pediatrician. And she said, you have to go to the emergency room right now. I’m like, no, I don’t.” (04:59, Courtney)
• Lack of Prior Knowledge: Despite her experience with T1D students at school, Courtney admits she had little true understanding until her own child’s diagnosis.
  • “Even working in schools and teaching kids who had type one, I didn’t know, obviously, the depths of it…” (06:44, Courtney)

Mental Health: Navigating Anxiety and Adaptation

• Personal Anxiety: Courtney discusses lifelong anxiety, with her daughter’s diagnosis provoking the worst episode.
  • “My entire life since I was three, Scott.” (07:47, Courtney)
• Support Strategies: Therapy (with a T1D-experienced therapist) and medication (Zoloft) have been essential.
  • “I did the things—went to therapy, got on medication…I actually found a therapist whose son is type one. So that was really helpful.” (07:55, Courtney)
• Recognizing Need for Help: Family and friends intervened as anxiety manifested physically and emotionally.
  • “You know, after diagnosis, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I lost 30 pounds…constantly worried.” (09:47, Courtney)

Early Management Approaches: The Allure and Drawbacks of Low Carb

• Fear-Driven Choices: Insulin felt intimidating, leading Courtney to initially opt for a low-carb diet for her daughter.
  • “Insulin was scary for a long time and it was just easier to manage when she was eating low carb.” (11:34, Courtney)
• Social and Emotional Costs: Restricting carbs led to exclusion—her daughter couldn’t participate fully in school celebrations or social events.
  • “My poor 5 year old couldn’t have cupcakes when it was someone’s birthday…” (12:48, Courtney)
• Evolving Philosophy: Parental guilt and the desire for normalcy led to relaxing restrictions, balancing control with quality of life.
  • “I think it was more about for me, like, her mental health…wanting to be, ‘every other kid.’” (13:19, Courtney)

School Management: Strategies, Tools, and Advocacy

• Flexibility with Blood Sugar Targets: At school, Courtney is comfortable with mildly elevated sugars (150–180 mg/dL) to minimize lows.
  • “I’m not worried about a blood sugar of 150 or 180. When she’s at school, I’m going to let that ride out…” (18:10, Courtney)
• Technological Aids: Her daughter uses Omnipod 5 and Dexcom G7.
  • “Omnipod and G7…Omnipod 5.” (18:39, Courtney)
• Delegation and Trust: School nurse (who also has T1D) is a vital ally, providing knowledge and being a role model for her daughter.
  • “Our school nurse is type one. Maggie’s school nurse is type one.” (24:00, Courtney)
• Self-Management Transition: Courtney is preparing for her daughter to become more independent via texting (using a smartwatch).
  • “Gonna get her a watch so that we can just start texting diabetes. Because she’s—she’s there.” (49:46, Courtney)
• 504 Plan Advocacy: Strong recommendation to secure a specific, formal 504 plan, regardless of school assurances.
  • “You should have a 504 plan. Abso freaking lutely.” (45:12, Courtney)

Balancing Parental Advocacy and School Collaboration

• Navigating “That Parent” Stigma: Courtney urges parents not to fear advocating, while maintaining respect and professionalism.
  • “Don’t worry about being that parent. Be a pain in the neck, but you can do that in a way that’s nice.” (45:04, Courtney)
• Understanding School Limitations: Many staff sincerely want to help but lack resources or knowledge.
  • “99% of school employees want to do the right thing…what gets in the way sometimes is just a lack of education…” (37:14, Courtney)
• Problem Solving Approach: Emphasizes advocacy through collaboration and escalation if needed, rather than immediate confrontation.
  • “Assume positive intentions of the school…you problem solve as a team or you advocate up…” (38:03, Courtney)
• Boundaries & Professionalism: Experiences as a principal inform her advice—yelling rarely helps, but persistent, respectful advocacy does.
  • “You can set a boundary and hold that boundary and be kind all at the same time.” (42:51, Courtney)

Home Dynamics: Family Roles and Spousal Support

• Initial Imbalance: Courtney initially assumed near-total responsibility for diabetes management, to her own exhaustion and her husband’s frustration.
  • “I wouldn’t let him do a lot to start, which was…just my own issues with control.” (29:21, Courtney)
• Evolving as a Team: Over time, responsibilities evened out, benefiting both child and parents.
  • “I just started, you know, resenting him for it, even though it was me who was preventing him from doing it.” (30:01, Courtney)
  • “It’s pretty much 50-50…I just went away last weekend…and I know that he does a great job and is on top of things…” (33:31, Courtney)

Educator Insights: Working Within and Outside the System

• Dual Perspective: Courtney’s background aids her advocacy but sometimes poses a risk of “overstepping” at her own school.
  • “I have to be pretty aware of my role at school…because I want to overstep, I think, at times.” (25:21, Courtney)
• Systemic Gaps: She points out resource disparities and emphasizes the need for improved diabetes education in schools and hospitals.
  • “There’s more we could do in terms of advocacy and education…” (26:33, Courtney; 59:12–60:40)

Big Picture: Acceptance, Adaptation, and Long-term Growth

• The Long Game: Acceptance and adaptation improve with time, and management strategies must evolve as children grow.
  • “This just becomes part of…We’ve just adopted. This is just part of our life…Just gotta keep moving forward.” (21:05, Courtney)
  • “You won’t even recognize this part of it six months from now, let alone six years from now.” (22:24, Scott)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Anxiety and Therapy:
  • “I am a disaster. Yes. No, but you don’t…you never really know until you’re experiencing it.” (07:13, Courtney)
• On Letting Go:
  • “There’s going to be highs and…lows, and we can manage those…Maggie gets to be Maggie.” (17:32, Courtney)
• On School Collaboration:
  • “I think you can always, and you should problem solve with the school…” (37:14, Courtney)
• On the Meaning of Being “That Parent”:
  • “Don’t worry about being that parent. Be a pain in the neck, but you can do that in a way that's nice.” (45:04, Courtney)
• On Advocacy:
  • “Assume positive intentions…they want to do the right thing and then you problem solve as a team or…advocate up…” (38:03, Courtney)
• On the Reality of Educators:
  • “There have been teachers who just flat out do not like your kids…There's no more high mindedness to it than that.” (66:48, Scott)
• Advice to New Parents:
  • “It’s a marathon, not a sprint…” (53:30, Courtney)
  • “You haven’t mastered diabetes in three months, Courtney. That’s weird.” (55:00, Courtney’s friend)

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Timestamps by Topic

• 00:15–07:00: Introduction, Courtney’s background, daughter’s diagnosis story
• 07:00–11:30: Mental health challenges post-diagnosis; therapy and medication
• 11:30–13:43: Initial low-carb approach, challenges of restricting food
• 13:43–18:38: Evolving food strategies, blood glucose management at school
• 18:38–25:02: School nurse’s role, trust in algorithm/pump technology, communication with school staff
• 25:21–30:01: Professional boundaries, overstepping, social disparities at school
• 29:21–34:16: Managing caregiving roles between parents, achieving balance
• 37:10–46:00: Parental advocacy, school cooperation, handling resistance, 504 plans
• 49:46–53:05: Fostering self-reliance in child; managing diabetes discreetly at school
• 53:12–59:12: Evolving management strategies; dealing with guilt, progress over time
• 59:12–64:33: Critiquing hospital/educator diabetes education, lacking up-to-date knowledge
• 66:11–68:41: On difficult teachers, realism about schools, takeaways for T1D families

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Key Takeaways

• Advocate Relentlessly, Respectfully: It’s vital to advocate for your T1D child—through meetings, requests, and escalating concerns as needed—but maintaining respect fosters better collaboration.
• Secure a 504 Plan: Even if schools seem accommodating, formal documentation is non-negotiable for consistent care and legal protection.
• Normalize and Empower: Loosen control gradually and empower your child as they’re ready; independence with diabetes is a necessary, positive journey.
• Self & Child Wellness Matter: Mind your own mental health as much as your child’s; both are crucial to successful long-term diabetes management.
• Education and Perspective: Most school staff want to help but may lack knowledge—empower them with information and patience.
• Be Kind, Yet Persistent: You can be ‘that parent’ without being combative—kind advocacy is both possible and more effective.
• Prepare for Change: T1D management evolves constantly; what works today will change as your child and technology grow.

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Final Words

Courtney’s blend of personal, professional, and practical insights makes this conversation rich with takeaway wisdom. Her journey shows that adapting to T1D as a family—and within school systems—means ongoing learning, compassion, and resilience.

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For more resources, join the Juicebox Podcast Facebook group or visit juiceboxpodcast.com.

Transcript

[A]

Here we are back together again friends for another episode of the Juice Box Podcast.

[B]

My name is Courtney. My daughter was diagnosed with Type one as a five year old two years ago.

[A]

If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify, really any audio app at all, look for the Juice Box Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management? Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and look for Bold Beginnings, the Diabetes Pro Tip Series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. If you're looking for community around type 1 diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast. Private Facebook Group juice box podcast type 1 diabetes but everybody is welcome. Type 1 type 2 gestational loved ones it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juice Box podcast type 1 diabetes on Facebook. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Today's episode is sponsored by the Tandem MOBI system with Control IQ technology. If you are looking for the only system with auto bolus, multiple wear options and full control from your personal iPhone, you're looking for Tandem's newest pomp and algorithm. Use my link to support the podcast. Tandom diabetes.com juicebox check it out. Today's episode is also sponsored by US Med usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. US Med is where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from and you could too. Use the link or number one to get your free benefits. Check and get started today with USMED. The podcast is also sponsored today by the Eversense 365. The Eversense 365 has exceptional accuracy over one year and is the most accurate CGM in the low range that you can get. Eversensecgm.com juicebox My name is Courtney, I

[B]

am a school administrator and elementary school principal and I've been in education for 20 years and my daughter was diagnosed with type one as a five year old two years ago.

[A]

She's seven now.

[B]

She's seven now? Yeah.

[A]

You have other children besides that one or.

[B]

No? I do. I have a younger son who is. He's five now.

[A]

Seven and five. He was three when she was diagnosed. Yes Were you gonna have more kids? And then you stop.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Two is good.

[B]

Two is good. Yeah.

[A]

Girl, boy. And you're like, look what he did. We're done.

[B]

Exactly. My husband wanted a third, and I said, I'm good with that. As long as you carry this third one.

[A]

I hope your new wife and you will be very happy.

[B]

Exactly

[A]

as. I'm not doing this again. Thank you. Makes sense.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

In the family. You, your husband, extended family, Other autoimmune issues?

[B]

No.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Nothing. Celiac, Knock on wood. Not nothing right now.

[A]

Somebody has eczema.

[B]

Eczema, yes. Eczema?

[A]

Yes. What about a vitilago? A changing of the color of the skin?

[B]

Nope.

[A]

No thyroid?

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Get out of here. Not one. Not one low energy person in your family?

[B]

No. Really?

[A]

No. I believe you. Okay. Who's got the eczema?

[B]

My son.

[A]

Your son does? Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's see. You. So you don't have any knowledge of diabetes. It's not like you're looking around corners for it. What happens to your daughter that first piques your interest?

[B]

Well, it was interesting because I was at my 20 year college reunion, and one of my closest friends from college, her son had just been diagnosed about a year prior, and she was talking to me about the symptoms and his diagnosis, and I thought to myself, you know, it's funny, Maggie, my daughter has some of those symptoms. Like, she's going to the bathroom a lot, she's drinking a lot of water. You know, all the classic symptoms. And she's like, it's probably not type one, Courtney. It's probably something else. But, like, if you're worried, like, make an appointment with your pediatrician. So I went. Went back home, waited a few more weeks, and again, easy to, as I'm sure many of us do, like, you know, excuse away the symptoms. I was like, I'm just gonna take her in. And sure enough, they. She had glucose in her urine and her blood sugar was 350. I love my pediatrician. And she said, you have to go to the emergency room right now. I'm like, no, I don't. She's fine. She just had, you know, she just was at school, so she wasn't in dka, which was good. Thank you to my college roommate.

[A]

Did you go to the er?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't that funny? Your first. Like, somebody's like, you have to go to the emergency room. And you're like, no, no, no, silly, I don't. No, you don't know what you're talking about. Did you even go to school? I've never checked.

[B]

Exactly. Yep. And then drove to the children's hospital in our city, and she was admitted for several days. And it all started.

[A]

Wow. How. How bizarre is that? You're talking to a person you probably hadn't seen in forever.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And they're like, oh, my God, you. And you're like, you. I remember that time we got drunk at the thing, and you're like, yeah, exactly. What's going on with you? It's like, oh, my kid got diabetes. Last like, oh, bummer. And then she starts rattling off her life, and you're like, this poor lady looks exhausted. Also, she's describing my daughter to me. Oh. Oh, wow. Wow, that's really something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you, a year later, look like she looked at the.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. Actually just got together with her last weekend. I was meant to go to that reunion and hear that information. And. And, you know, the funny thing is, working in schools, we have kids with type one at my school, obviously, that I work, work at, and I still had no flipping idea.

[A]

Yeah, that's the. You know, stick with you, or are you okay with it that you.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

That it just didn't pop the front of mind as soon as you saw it?

[B]

No, because even. Even working in schools and teaching kids who had type one, I didn't know, obviously, the depths of it and the extent of it and what it all entailed. I just sort of remember thinking, yeah, they have to take insulin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, no big deal.

[A]

You're not an anxious person.

[B]

I'm a very anxious person.

[A]

You are?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hold on a second. It's just the way you said it. That was. You were like, oh, no, Scott, you've misread that completely. I'm a disaster.

[B]

I am a disaster. Yes. No, but I just, you know, you don't. Until. I think it's interesting now when I see, you know, kids with, you know, different types of medical conditions how much you don't really know until you're experiencing it. We have student that, you know, she has spina bifida. And again, that. That's a, you know, pretty complex medical condition that she has. Has to navigate her entire life, and you just never really know until your. Your kid is the one that is going through it.

[A]

No, of course. Wait, tell me more about your anxiety. How long has this been around? My entire life since I was three, Scott.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, but, you know, after Maggie's diagnosis, it was obviously. Yeah. I shouldn't say obviously, but the worst it ever was. I did the Things. Went to therapy, got on medication. I actually found a therapist who. Her son is type one. So that was really helpful.

[A]

I was going to say that's probably incredibly helpful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I did the thing. So there's a checklist. I followed it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Do you still do talk therapy?

[B]

Occasionally I do.

[A]

When things feel hard to handle or.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Yep. I know the indicators for myself and, you know, when things. When things start to feel really overwhelming. I know. Okay, time for. Time for a tune up.

[A]

What about the medication? Did you keep doing it or did you use it for a while and then stop?

[B]

No, I'm still on it.

[A]

Okay. And what. What does it do for you?

[B]

It's funny because I think I can just sort of, like, operate as a normal human being as opposed to somebody who is in this, like, you know, fight or flight crisis mode all the time. So I was just talking with my provider, and she was like, you probably feel like you can go off of it because it sounds like you're doing pretty well. I'm like, I do. And she was like, yeah, you shouldn't.

[A]

She's like, no, you should stay. I've gotten to know you, Courtney, and let me just tell you something. The meds are the only thing holding this together, and those meds are using bath salts. What are you using exactly?

[B]

Not. Not bath salts, just Zoloft.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the first one you tried and it worked out well for you?

[B]

It did, yeah. Cool.

[A]

Very nice. Does your husband or other people in your life mention it to you? Meaning? Is the shift noticeable to others or just something that's more internal for you?

[B]

I think it's noticeable to others. Especially, you know, after diagnosis, when our world was rocked. You know, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I lost 30 pounds. I, you know, just was constantly worried, anxious. So that's a. And now I can. I can sleep, I can eat, I can go to work. All those things, you know.

[A]

Did someone help you back then? Did you know yourself? Like, how did you know you needed help? Did you overhear your husband telling the kids, don't worry, new mommy will be better than this? Or, like, what happened? Exactly. That kind of made you think, like, okay, I have to do something.

[B]

Yeah. The people in my life, my husband, my parents, my siblings, some of my

[A]

good friends, people who I bumped into at the groceries or everybody. Scott.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I went to get my license renews, and the ladies yelling at me, you need help? And I'm like, wait, what?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Well, that's. But the 30 pound weight loss. Were you like not eating or what was happening?

[B]

I wasn't eating. And, you know, I just suddenly kind of developed a strange relationship with food. And at the beginning we were pretty restrictive with my daughter, which I regret now. You know, we just did all low carb. Yeah. I would feel guilty about eating things that were, you know, had carbs and sugar.

[A]

Oh, you weren't feeding to her, so you stopped eating everything too?

[B]

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

[A]

Were you mad at your husband because he kept eating? Because I know he did.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

He was like, listen, that's your journey. I'm over here with my tortilla chips.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

How did the dominoes fall that make you go low carb with the, the child right away?

[B]

I think insulin was scary for a long time and it was just easier to manage when she was eating low carb. And, you know, I'm a straight A student. I, I remember thinking like, I can, I can figure this out. And I couldn't until I listened to Juice Box Podcast.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that was going to happen, Courtney.

[B]

Seriously though, Seriously. It was, I, I remember thinking, okay, a podcast. Someone had sent it to me. I was like, this is good. What, what will it be, like 10, 15 episodes? I'll listen to it, I'll learn everything I need to know and we'll be golden.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doesn't work.

[A]

It didn't work that way. So when, so when you're like, they'll probably just. There's probably like three things I have to know. I'll write them down while he's talking.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

So you're saying she's having outcomes, not commiserate with your desires. Things are not going, going well at all. You try to like, pull a little bit of information together, it doesn't get any better. And you're like, you know what? Instead, what if we just never had a carb again? Let's try that.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And y.

[A]

And that was, I imagine, probably worked pretty well, right?

[B]

It wasn't bad.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Except that, you know, my poor 5 year old couldn't have cupcakes when it was someone's birthday or, you know, she wanted something and I said no a lot.

[A]

I said no.

[B]

And

[A]

she's like, mommy, are we married? No. So take the like, kind of like ham fisted cupcake example away, like day to day. What was it impacting or was it not? Was it just like you got to a birthday party, you're like, God, jeez, we're low carb.

[B]

I don't know. I think it was more about for me like her mental health and her mental well being and, and wanting to be like, you know, quote every other kid. Then I tried to relinquish some control and, and learn more and say, okay, you're gonna, you know, eat what every kid wants to eat. And within, within limits, of course.

[A]

Imagine you. She's not, yeah, giving her, giving her

[B]

a whole, she's not having ice cream

[A]

for breakfast, but on top of a cinnamon bun washed down with a milkshake. That, that's not, you're just, you're just saying like common day to day items, like totally. What happened when she was eating low carb and she, do you think she felt like marginalized in that situation or was it your guilt or. Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. Usmed has done that for us. When it's time for Arden's supplies to be refreshed, we get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, hi Arden, this is your friendly reorder email from U.S. med. You open up the email, it's a big button that says click here to reorder and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one. Usmed has done that for us. An email arrives, we click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put the stuff in the drawer, and we're done. US Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMs like the Libre 3 and the Dexcom G7. They accept Medicare, nationwide, over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514 or go to my link usmed.com using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juice Box podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by a long term CGM that's going to help you to stay on top of your glucose readings. The Eversense 365. I'm talking, of course, about the world's first and only CGM that lasts for one year. One year, one CGM. Are you tired of those other CGMs? The ones that give you all those problems that you didn't expect? Knocking them off, false alerts, not lasting as long as they're supposed to. If you're tired of those constant frustrations, use my link eversensecgm.com juicebox to learn more about the Eversense 365. Some of you may be able to experience the Eversense 365 for as low as $199 for a full year. At my link, you'll find those details and can learn about eligibility ever since. CGM.com juicebox Check it out.

[B]

I think a little bit of both.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Maggie is, I mean, she's a great kid, but she's not, but, and she's very aware of Scott.

[A]

She's a great kid, but she's a little bit of an, I gotta tell you, like, like, it's just so funny where you paused. She's a great kid. I'm sorry.

[B]

She, she is, but she. What's really important to her is also, like, what other people think and, you know, wanting to be as, quote, normal as possible. She didn't want to, you know, have to say no to the cupcake.

[A]

And can I ask, did you struggle with that? Like, because I can kind of see myself being of two minds there. Like, like, if I, if, if we started off, you know, with the carbs and it wasn't working, and we're like, well, let's try lower carb, and lower carb worked, and then you start feeling like, well, I, you know, I'm not like everybody else. Is there. Was there a part of you, like, from a parenting perspective that wanted to say to her, it's not our job to be like everybody else. It's okay. Like, because I totally. Yeah, right. Because that's a weird position totally, to be in as a parent all of a sudden.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I, I, I think it was such a contrast and such a, obviously for all of us, but for Maggie, most especially, that. And it was, it was my own, like, control, you know, issues that I needed to sort of just, like, let go and learn. And, okay, there's gonna be highs and there's gonna be lows, and we can manage those. And, you know, what do you. Maggie gets to be Maggie.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. What do you call a high blood sugar? Where's the number when you start going, ujis, I didn't do something. Right.

[B]

I'm not a diabetes ninja. Not yet.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

And it's one of the things that I would, I want parents, I would want parents to know about schools. Like, for me, I'm willing to relinquish a little bit more control when she's at school, I'm not worried about a blood sugar of 150 or 180. When she's at school, I'm going to let that ride out. The pump's going to take care of it and she's, you know, just going to be, you know, high for a little bit. That's okay. She'll come back down.

[A]

What system is she on?

[B]

Omnipod and G7.

[A]

Omnipod 5.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yep. Omnipod 5. Yeah.

[A]

If she's at school with a 150 blood sugar, you wouldn't send a text to somebody that said, hey, why don't we bolus here?

[B]

Nope.

[A]

No. You'd say, I think the algorithm's going to bring this down at some point.

[B]

Totally. Totally. Yeah.

[A]

Is there a number where you call the nurse and go, okay, we're upside down, let's do something?

[B]

Yes. I think if she's above 250, which I know seems high, I still feel like at the beginning of this diagnosis, even though it's been two years, but for the most part, she's pretty, she's pretty well controlled when she's at school. And if anything, I'm, I'm calling to have her eat a starburst because she's, you know, in the 70s, which I don't really care for when she's at school because she can drop pretty fast depending on if it's, you know, pe, recess, whatever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So most of my, most of my calls are on the low end, so. As opposed to the high.

[A]

So you're adding context. But she's not walking around 180 all day most days.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

I got you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I just want to understand the, you know, what you're using to calibrate yourself with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

I. I think some of it was Zoloft. I think some of it was. It's just time. Right. This just becomes part of. You know, I remember listening to one of your podcasts and somebody was saying something like, human beings just adapt. Right. And this is just. We've just adopted. This is just part of our life. And do we wish we didn't have to deal with it? Sure. But I don't. We can't. I can't waste time or energy on that anymore. Just gotta keep moving forward.

[A]

I think you're going to find. Because you're, you know, she's diagnosed young and you're a young family still. Right. And how old are you?

[B]

I'm 45. Not that young, like.

[A]

Well, you can say it, Scott, but it's not true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you start a little late on purpose?

[B]

I did. I got married. We got married at 35. I got married at 35 and then I had. Yeah. Got pregnant at 36 and 38.

[A]

Long line of losers behind you or.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I kept trying to find one. Scott, they're not as plentiful as you think. The one I settled on isn't actually great, it's just great. I'm just kidding. I'm sure he's fantastic. Well, I guess what I. What I wanted to say was that this is going to morph and change so many times.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You won't even recognize this part of it six months from now, let alone six years from now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If Arden was seven and she was at school, and of course this would have been before algorithms and stuff like that. I would have absolutely bolstered the 150. I would have bolused a 1 in 80. I would have. I probably would have bolstered like 130, to be perfectly honest, because I was acting as. Probably acting as the, you know, the decision maker already.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now and then moving forward, you know, after kind of learning how the system she was using, the different systems she's used over the time have worked. There's times when you're like, well, there's no reason to interject here. It's going to take care of it. There's times when you see and you go, ah, I don't think this is going to work out ever. Or it's going to take too long. But then, you know, morphing forward, forward, forward, forward, till she is, you know, who she is today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The reasons you don't bother somebody to bolus a 150 when they're 21 are different than the reasons you don't do it when they're seven.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

[A]

You really do have to, I don't know, exactly like you. You have to keep rolling with it and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And making new decisions. And then at some point, like the give. The give it away part of it is the. I know how I hope Arden ends up being as an adult taking care of herself. But I also feel like I've talked to countless people and I realized that that's not. It's not reasonable to expect everybody to do something based on, like, directions or a check sheet or something like that. You know, people are just who they are.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, the other jackpot that we hit was our school nurse is type one. Maggie's school nurse is type one.

[A]

Oh. Oh, okay. And how do you find that to be valuable?

[B]

First and foremost, just the education and knowledge. I continue to be struck by, you know, how many people don't know the ins and outs. Not that they should, but. Or that it can be critical and scary and that you have to intervene, you know, immediately. It can turn into a medical emergency. So I think that was helpful. I also think just from my daughter seeing her every day and seeing her sensor and that, that it's just part of, you know, she's a great, successful adult and school nurse and, you know,

[A]

like their own little. They have their own little community there of.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Support. Yeah, it's really lovely.

[B]

Which is so great.

[A]

That's excellent. Did you. Do you work in the same district your kid goes to school in?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

All right, so you didn't like hire the type on nurse on purpose? No, Scott, it was a little bit of abuse of power. But what I did was.

[B]

Exactly. I would have, if I could have.

[A]

Absolutely would have. Let's see how your thoughts.

[B]

I was just going to say I have to be pretty aware of my role at school when it comes to Type 1 kids at my own school, because I want to overstep, I think, at times when that's not really my role. I had a student whose blood sugar was low and we had a substitute who was having him eat Jello and I said, oh, how many carbs are in the Jello. And she was like, I don't know. And I said, zero, he needs juice. He's in the 50s. And again, I was glad I was there to support, but. And then I, you know, I. The community that I serve is a lower socioeconomic than the community that I live. And so there's really a lack of resources sometimes that hurts my heart as a mom and an educator. I just think there's more we could do in terms of advocacy and education. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. The jello is interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you step in, do you step in and say, oh, I have. Or do they know you have a child with type 1? Or did you just like. Were you like, hey, I have some background on this and that's not going to work?

[B]

Yeah, that. My. My staff and students know that I have a child with type one. This was a substitute, so I don't think she knew.

[A]

Where'd she get the jello?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

That's random.

[B]

Isn't it funny? I know, I know.

[A]

I'm low. Would you like my lime Jello?

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Why do you have lime? Oh, everyone knows orange is better, but that's. That's neither here nor there. You know, Jello is Jell o ground up horse hooves.

[B]

The gelatin.

[A]

Yeah, it is, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It is disgusting. But Jello is great.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

J E L L O. Why'd you want to come on the podcast? Also, don't forget to mention that I'm famous. Like you did before we started recording.

[B]

You are, Scott, Seriously, I am still nervous talking to you.

[A]

Yeah. We've been doing this for a half an hour. Are you kidding me?

[B]

No, because you are. You're a celebr in my house and in my community and my type one mom friends were so excited for me to be going on the. To be talking to you today.

[A]

Seriously?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, they're so excited. Yeah.

[A]

That's lovely. I watched my wife run away from me in the kitchen yesterday. I was like, hey, can I tell you something? She's like, not now. And she just.

[B]

If that ain't marriage in a nutshell,

[A]

I swear to you. We were in the car the other day. She brought something up. It was like. It was like a. I don't know, like a social thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was a pretty deep point about something she brought up. We're chatting about it, not for long. And I had like a. I wanted to add to it, and I literally don't remember what it was. It's not important. And I added to it and there's this long pause, and she didn't say anything. And I turned and I looked at her, and I was like, are you going to respond? And she goes, no, I'm just listening. I have nothing to say about this. I'm like, you brought this up. I'm like, you started this conversation, and I'm trying to keep it going, and you just went mute in the middle of it. She's like, yeah, I'm not interested. I was like, okay, so I'm just telling Arden. And Arden goes, I do that sometimes.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

Just like, I just get bored in the middle. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Anyway, yeah, that's just. That's lovely. How long have you. I'm sorry. You told me, but you've been married since how long?

[B]

I've been married for 10 years.

[A]

Okay. And is. Is. Was definitely the wrong word there, but are you and your husband splitting duties on the. On the diabetes stuff, or does he have a thing? He does. How do you manage the workload?

[B]

Yeah, no, it's. It's. I think, you know, been probably the biggest. One of the biggest challenges in our marriage, because when Maggie was first diagnosed, it was. I. I took it all on. I'm still probably the. The. The number one, the point of contact. I wouldn't let him do a lot to start, which was, again, just my own issues with control. And. But then it. It got to the point where, you know, I couldn't. I couldn't leave. I mean, literally was with my daughter 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Couldn't, you know, couldn't go anywhere. Couldn't do anything, could it? Trust anyone else.

[A]

You were spiraling. You would say.

[B]

I was, yeah. And my husband is a wonderful, capable, intelligent man. And it was. It became very important for me that we, you know, both were doing things and, you know, and I just started, you know, resenting him for it, even though it was me who was preventing him from doing it.

[A]

Don't touch this kid. I cannot believe you are not helping me with this kid.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

Can I just say. I want to just say this right now. Kelly told me I was cooking sausage incorrectly last night.

[B]

Hilarious. You're doing it wrong, Scott.

[A]

It was like, what's happening? So she said, I wish I would. I've been married almost 30 years, and I still didn't know to be quiet on this next little bit. She goes, what's this all over the sausage? And I went, are you referring to the pepper? And she goes, yes. Why did you. What did she say, why did you, like, flavor the sausage? The sauce is going to do that? And I said, well, I'm just doing it the same exact way I've done it for the last 30 years. And I kind of let it go, and I didn't say anything else, but I was just. I was standing there with the sausage, and she's doing something else, and we're cooking together, Right? In Cosmopolitan magazine, they tell you that's sexy, but trust me, it's not. They're lying to you about that. And I couldn't let it go. And I just. I waited, like, three solid minutes through, like, some real silence because, I mean, it was clearly not looking for her input on the sausage making. And I just said, I got to tell you, you're a special person. And she says, how's that? And already in her voice, she's like, go ahead, say the shitty thing you're going to say.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Try it.

[A]

How could you describe pepper as. What's this all over the sausage? It's like, oh, my God, what is happening?

[B]

Marriage.

[A]

It was revealed 24 hours later that she might be having her period. But I don't think that has anything to do with it, Courtney. Because her period does not change how she reacts to things, okay? She is the same person no matter what. And I will use her words. Her menstrual flow and the hormones that come with it, they only change her inability to deal with me being stupid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so in a normal situation, she would have shut up about how I just spread whatever that is all over the sausage. But on that day, it needed to be described as, what is that all over the sausage?

[B]

It has to be said. Yeah.

[A]

I swear to God, when she said that, I thought, what is she talking about? What is all over the sausage? And then I finally went, are you talking about the pepper?

[B]

Yep, yep.

[A]

What else is on there? She said. And I went, onion, garlic, pepper, the same goddamn thing. I put on it, like, my whole life. I was like, what? She goes,

[B]

he should have done better.

[A]

I don't know what I was wrong with me. I'm just. I'm a horrible person. I was the only man in America cooking during that football game last night. By the way.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're welcome. So anyway, so you ostracize your husband and then ostracized him again for allowing himself to be ostracized. Now, since that's. Since that's been cleared up, what's the deviation of work? How does it work now?

[B]

It's pretty much. 50. 50. I tend to be the point person for school just because schools are where I feel comfortable, but I just went away last weekend, and I don't. I knew. I know that he does a great job and is on top of things and. And Maggie knows that, too, now, and I don't think she did at the beginning. She would always only come to me. And some of that was, you know. And Mom.

[A]

Premeditated.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Don't go to him. He's horrible.

[B]

But I think some of that, you know, she needs to know that there's lots of people and that dad can take care of her just as well as mom can. And, you know, so. And she. So, yeah, we're. We're.

[A]

You made your way through that. You made your way through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you went away, didn't think about it the whole time you were gone. Kind of. It was kind of free and easy for you.

[B]

It was actually. It was pretty easy.

[A]

You're selling Zoloft today like water in the desert, I'll tell you. There's a lot of ladies right now going, how do you. Was that a Z O? What?

[B]

Exactly. I don't think you can ever totally turn it off, but, you know, I glanced at her blood sugar, and I think maybe I texted him once or twice to be like, did you give

[A]

her something pretty awesome? That's pretty awesome. And you can.

[B]

I.

[A]

It's going to keep bothering me if I don't ask you. Are you from the Midwest originally?

[B]

I'm not. I was.

[A]

You were born where you are.

[B]

No, I was born in Boston and then I grew up in Jersey and now most of my life, and now I'm out in Arizona. Yeah.

[A]

Your accent's like, a really interesting blend. I can't. I can't figure out what it is. Well, it's happening. It's not. It's nice. It's part of what made me when I incorrectly said a half an hour ago. So you don't have any anxiety? You're. You sound calm while you're speaking. Is that the school thing?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. Years of practice, but, yeah.

[A]

I have a tone, Scott, that stops people from throwing things in my office.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I learned it in college. That was most of my last year.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Because you really do make me feel at ease.

[B]

I make you feel at ease?

[A]

Yeah. Your voice makes me feel at ease.

[B]

Oh, that's so nice to. That's. That's a really nice compliment.

[A]

Yeah. And you come off so, like, Somewhere between Minnesota and, and Wisconsin. Chicago, when you're talking. But you're not at all funny.

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

Yeah. Did the whole group of ladies that love me, did you guys pick straws as to who got to come on the podcast or.

[B]

Well, it's funny because one of my, one of my good friends, she is also an educator and she was talking about, like, just how many families, and she volunteers for Diabetes Network of Arizona, and they do a lot of work with families who are newly diagnosed in terms of helping them get, you know, 504 plans set up and support with school. And she was saying, she was just like, I just think as, as educators can kind of see both sides of things in terms of the experience working out of school and then the experience of, well, holy crap, and now I have to send my 5 year old to school with this life threatening medical condition and trust that the, the staff there are going to take care of her and keep her safe. So she was like, you know, you go on, Courtney. You're the, you're a principal. Go on.

[A]

And you know what is hard to know, right? Because I'm sure for, you know, all the good nurses out there who have type 1 diabetes doing a great job, like, you probably have worked with people in the past. Like, I wouldn't leave my guinea pig with that person.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah. Right. And how are you supposed to know?

[B]

Exactly? And I think, but what I, what I do think is that 99% of school employees want to do the right thing. They're there because they love kids. They want to make sure kids are cared for, that they're physically safe, emotionally safe. I think what gets in the way sometimes is just a lack of education and a lack of knowledge around Type one. And so I feel like gross negligence aside. Right. I think you can always, and you should problem solve with the school. I mean, I had to, I had to do it for my daughter when she was first diagnosed. I requested a 504 meeting. I went in, I said, you know, I want someone to follow her, to follow her numbers. And they said, well, we don't have, we don't have an iPad. And I said, you can get one. And they were like, well, we know, we don't, we don't have one.

[A]

They're for sale. You can get them anywhere.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then it was like, if you don't have the power to get an iPad and follow her, who should I talk to? You know, Is that your technology department? Is it the superintendent? Like, I just, I think the, the Best advice I could give any parent is like, assume positive intentions of the school. Right. They want to do the right thing and then you problem solve as a team or you advocate up, you go up the chain of command. No problem. Who should we talk to then? How can we make sure when that

[A]

first person says iPad. I don't have an iPad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You see that person as the school instead of the person who is in a position that doesn't have an iPad and doesn't have a budget to buy an iPad. And so instead of saying, look, I don't have one of those and I don't know how to get it, we could talk to somebody else. They just go, nope, I don't have an iPad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's that simple. Those kind of simple answers that then spark you on the other side to go, ah, they don't want to help me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Meanwhile, who's they? It's just this person in front of you who's limited by their options.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And listen, we're, I, you know, my kids go to public schools. I work in a public school. Public schools are understaffed under resourced, you know, and oftentimes, you know, your, your school nurse, your health tech, they are, you know, literally by daughter school has 1100 students. If at any point I was worried that she wasn't getting the care that she would needed because, you know, the, the workload was too much for the health staff, I would advocate and I know that I, I could go to the superintendent. I could. Schools are really, for the most part, doing the best that they can. And I'm willing to work with schools, you know, all, all day long. As long as we are assuming positive intentions, we're kind to each other and we problem solve. And if we can't solve it, great, who should we, who else should we talk to then? Who can help us?

[A]

What would pre Zoloff? Courtney, tell me, because that sounds like a very measured response. When somebody tells you I can't help your kid because I. Because I'm trying to imagine a person who's more newly diagnosed who doesn't work at a school, and all they can think is I got to be able to see the numbers. And the people are watching me to see the numbers. So you guys got to be able to see the numbers. Then somebody goes, we don't have an iPad. You go, they don't understand. And like, and then it kind of like goes like that real quickly, like. Right. So like before, can you contextualize how you would have managed this before you were in your Zen place.

[B]

I mean, I can. And, and listen, I think it's, it's not just type 1 diabetes. We as parents are, you know, our, Our kids are the most important thing to us. So it is, I think, natural to get fired up and to immediately, like, want to come in hot. I think my brother says you never want to go full nuclear right away. Right. So you can. And I do bitch and moan to, you know, my friends, my family, people that get it. And then when I'm interacting with school employees, I, I, My professional hat is on, and I'm, you know, I try to be kind and respectful and acknowledge the place that they're in while continuing to relentlessly advocate for my child. And I, you really. I hear you.

[A]

I Wish it was 1978. Still like, it just, you know what I mean? Like, it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It was. It was so easy. Like, you'd be like, hey, you got to get an iPad. And they'd be like, no, I don't, and just smack them. And then there'd be an iPad and one. Somebody get arrested, and everybody be laughing about it for five minutes. Then it'd be over. Yeah, the world, everyone. You're like, I have to think about where they're at and what they know. I agree with you, by the way.

[B]

But I, I'm saying I think both things can be true. I think you can be a pain in the rear end and relentlessly advocate and still. And still be kind. I think things can. I think all those things can exist. And in my current role, you know, my professional life, I'll work with parents like that all day long, you know, but the minute someone comes in and

[A]

is yelling out the door, yeah.

[B]

It makes it difficult to want to help them. Not that we don't, but just having been on the other side of it, I feel like it makes it easier for me when I'm advocating for my own child or my own children.

[A]

When someone's yelling at you, do you ever wonder maybe they're right? Maybe we are really missing the point here. And I mean, this point, this person is very upset.

[B]

Like, yes.

[A]

Because that's gotta be hard while you're being yelled at. To be considerate of it is, I

[B]

think, you know, we talk about, you know, adults just, like, how we interact with kids. You can set a boundary and hold that boundary and be kind all at the same time. So I don't think there's ever been a time where I haven't tried to acknowledge. I hear you, and I hear, why you're upset and angry, and all of those things can be. Can be true. But again, when you're. You know, when you've gone full nuclear and you're yelling at school staff, I think you've lost. I think you've lost the battle.

[A]

Oh, I agree with you. I'm just. I was just wondering from, like, your perspective, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When they're yelling, are you just like, maybe there's a point here? And it's just. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough situation to be in. So, I mean, listen, I tell people all the time, first of all, your kid's gonna be at that school for a very long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You get one chance not to be the crazy guy. And once you're the crazy. Once you're the crazy guy, you're the crazy guy forever.

[B]

Forever.

[A]

Yeah. No one's giving that away. Once you. Once you pick up that monocle and put it on, they're gonna be like, all right, here they come. And. Yeah. Yeah. The monocle of crazy. And it can happen easily. I've said it a million times. You start talking about diabetes to an uninitiated person, just saying the things that are actually important makes you sound like you're out of your mind.

[B]

Totally. Yeah, totally.

[A]

It's a tough world. You need answers in the short term, but you can't just, like, you can't wait six weeks till you guys figure out what to do. We have to do it now. Let me explain to you why. And then here's why. Why, why, why? And then the other person, the other side's like, I think they're making half of this up. It sounds ridiculous. They're out of their minds. They just want something. Totally a tough situation to be in, really. Is.

[B]

It is. And if. If anything, though, many of my friends worry about the. Worry about being, quote, that parent. I don't want to be that parent, so I'm not gonna. Oh, you can call, you can email, you can request a meeting, you can have a conversation, and again, problem solve together with them. That's actually what we're paid to do in our role as education professionals.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So don't worry about being that parent. Be a pain in the neck, but you can do that in a way that's nice.

[A]

And I. And I should have a 504 plan, right?

[B]

You should have a 504 plan. Abso freaking lutely.

[A]

And when the school tells me I don't need one, they are really just trying to get out of being legally bound to something. Yes.

[B]

Or no, not necessarily. I think there are schools that they're like, well, we're doing it already. We're doing all the things that you're asking for, so, you know, like, don't, don't worry about it. It's not, it's not necessary. To which I would reply, absolutely it's necessary. And I'm glad that you're doing all the things and, and the accommodations are in place for my child, but I need it documented in a, in a 504. Absolutely.

[A]

I need a leg to stand on if you should stop doing it.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And is that insulting when you, like, put yourself in the, in the administrator role? Like, we're doing it, we're going to take care of it. And somebody goes, I don't really trust that you'. So I want to put this document into place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can let me say this one thing that I'm always interested in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not just education in all walks of life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you work somewhere and you're following the rules that have been laid down by your employer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And someone comes in and says, I don't like that, or I think that's wrong. I'm always interested when the employee decides to take it personally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Always freaks me out, like, when that happens. Like, why, why are you so, like, look, you have a job and I have a job. I'm the kid's mom, dad. You're the lady telling me I can't have the 504 plan. Fair enough. Right. Like, when I push back, why do you feel like I'm pushing back against you? I'm pushing back against the institution.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You're the mouthpiece for the institution. But I don't blame you for this, of what's happening here.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But a lot of people in that employee situation, I'm like, why are you insulted? It's got nothing to do with you. But that really does happen a lot. People.

[B]

Absolutely. People take things personal.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't. You wouldn't get. I'd be like, look, man, it's just my job. I, I, Yeah. I don't care.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, absolutely freaking matter to me what we do. I just, I'm trying to, I'm trying to pay my. I'm trying to pay my bills. Okay. Like, you know, I need, I need, I need health insurance like the rest of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It does fascinate me when that happens. When people, they, they get up and they really get their backup about it, and I'm like, wow. I'm not. No one's talking to you. Talking to the.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I know it's. It's interesting, but yes, 504 is.

[A]

Get a 504.

[B]

Non negotiable.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. And it needs to be specific. Right. It can't be vague.

[B]

And it needs to be very specific. Absolutely. And I think, you know, my other guidance for parents would be like, decide what's your priority. And obviously, physical safety is everybody's priority, but, like, for Maggie, she hates being called out for diabetes, so we had to kind of figure out. And she's had some amazing teachers. Oh, my God. Like, what we do right now, which isn't necessarily written explicitly in the 504, but it's outlined. I'll call the nurse. I'll say, can you have Maggie eat a starburst? She'll say, no problem. She calls into the classroom, and when the phone rings, Maggie looks at her teacher and her teacher puts up a number one. And she knows that means go and eat a starburst. She doesn't want to be called out for it. She was like, you know, we had a substitute the other day, and the substitute was like, okay, Maggie has to go to the nurse before lunch. And she was like, it was so embarrassing, Mom. We're trying to prioritize too, like. And take cues from Maggie what she's comfortable with. Not the, you know, not the numbers stuff. Again, we're gonna. But the things. The accommodations that I wanted in place for Maggie were not just the physical accommodations, but really, you know, all of the things that she can. And my priority as a parent was to keep her out of the nurse's office. And as much as possible, I don't want her in the nurse's office all day long, which I think schools, to be honest, tend to do because it's easier and. And it can be scary when you have, you know. But I was like, she can. She can be treated in the classroom. She can eat a starburst in her classroom. When she's low, she doesn't need to go to the nurse. If she's, you know, in the 60s and having a starburst, fine. She's going to stay in class and she's going to learn.

[A]

And how long do you think before you take them out of that decision chain? Like. Like. Right, because right now you're calling the nurse, who's calling the teacher, who's telling the kid no. Yeah. At what point do you take out the nurse and the teacher?

[B]

I. I actually think it's probably pretty soon. I was just talking to Maggie this weekend and gonna get her a watch so that we can just start texting diabetes. Because she's. She's there. She's seven, she's really bright, and she wants to take it on. That's the other piece that I think I know for us as parents, it's, you know, kind of the pluses and negatives of. I want to take on this burden for her as long as I can, but. And I don't want her to have to worry about her blood sugar during the school day. I want her to worry about being a kid and passing her time test in math and playing with her friends. I don't want her have to have to think about diabetes all the time. On the same hand, this will be her life. This is her life. You know, and so she should feel empowered that she knows what to do.

[A]

Yeah. You don't want her just sitting around like, you know, I feel low. I'm waiting for somebody to tell me what to do or totally.

[B]

And. And we've been there. We've been there.

[A]

So seven. She. She's embarrassed at seven, huh? About that. I don't want people to talk.

[B]

She's. She's pretty cool, Scott. Okay? Pretty cool. I don't know very, very well.

[A]

I'm not arguing with you very. What. What is she.

[B]

She's pretty cool.

[A]

Yeah, she.

[B]

But she also, like, she. I turned her alarms, most of her alarms off because she would get so embarrassed. And then I think. I think it's also just having, especially at the beginning, navigating how you respond when kids ask questions. And why does Maggie have a phone? You know, why does Maggie have to go to the nurse? And we're. We're past that now.

[A]

What does she tell the kids? I would say my parents love me. That's what I would say.

[B]

Well, she's. It's funny because she said a lot of different things, and it's. It's why kids are the best. I mean, diagnosed in kindergarten, I was like, you can just say, like, oh, I need insulin for my body. And she was like, mom, nobody knows what insulin means. And I was like, okay, then just listen.

[A]

I'm surrounded by a bunch of these little dumb asses. Trust me, they don't know nothing. Mom. Okay, But I spend my life explaining insulin to these little idiots. I can't be involved. What does she got? Like, is she like, kind of like older than her age?

[B]

Yes, she is. Yeah. She's wise. Yes, she is.

[A]

But look what I'm surrounded by. You want me to teach these people?

[B]

But you know, we, how we talk about it with kids is like everybody has something. You know how. You know, my, my dad has hearing aids because his ears need help hearing. You know how.

[A]

Thank you for laughing. Keep going.

[B]

Good one. But you know the, the little girl who uses, who is in a wheelchair because her, she needs help because her legs, her legs need support. You know the little boy who has alopecia, his hair doesn't grow. Like we're all different, our bodies all need different things. And I mean, obviously this is a five year old conversation we're having with five year olds, but kids are the best. They just accept it. You just have to tell them once, twice, maybe. And then.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they're pretty good with it after that. Yeah, yeah, I agree. And I also understand if she doesn't want everybody to be in her business too, so.

[B]

Totally, totally.

[A]

It's interesting. Well, I guess I'd like to understand a little better on the management side.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you started off, hey, you know, low carb. What was a 1C during low carb time?

[B]

I think, I don't remember what it was at the beginning. We did it for a few months. I mean, I think her A1C was 10 point something when she was diagnosed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's not where I want her. A1C right now is not where I want it to be. Okay. But our, I love our endocrinologist, she's amazing and she's like, you're doing great, like it'll get better, you know, and she's like, I'm not worried. You also have to, you know, prioritize your own mental health, your daughter's mental health and you know, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

[A]

Do you know why she thinks it's going to get better?

[B]

I think the realities of eating and little kids and there's probably things we could be doing differently and better, but you know, okay, bolster whatever, 40 grams for pancakes. And then she decides she doesn't want pancakes. And then I'm like, oh God, you know, just some of those things. I think as she, the learning curve was so steep for us too, just in understanding how all of the different things impact her blood sugar.

[A]

Yeah. You're still catching up. Really?

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

And so I'm assuming where the doctor imagines things are going to get better is because as your understanding grows, you'll be able to implement those things easier and things will continue to get better. Okay. Yeah, I think that's completely reasonable. And you're educating yourself along the way and learning, and you're having experiences that are probably making the next experience even easier.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, it's time. Time is important. It takes time.

[B]

Yeah, it does take time. I remember being pretty upset a couple months after diagnosis and calling one of my close friends, and I was like, I just can't do it. I can't get it right. And she was like, oh, you haven't mastered diabetes in three months, Courtney. That's weird. Like, you know, I think even though we've. Maggie's been diagnosed for two years now, I still feel like I should be further along. And some of that is, you know, I love you, Scott, but I gotta. I. I take the Juice Box podcast in doses, too. There's times where I'm like, I need a diabetes break. You know, I need to, like, not. Not take a break from, like, the social media stuff, the, you know, reading about it, learning about it. I just need to take a break and then. And then I feel better and throw myself back in it. And, you know, but it can be a lot.

[A]

Yeah. Like, Courtney, let me tell you, Courtney's like, listen, I don't know if you can hear it. I'm gonna cry. I'm in a unique position. Right. Where.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All I can do is give it to you the way I see it. And then you're. You're supposed to take from it what you want and what you have space for and what you have understanding for. And if you want to come back and get a little more later, that's great. And if you don't, I understand that, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it would be wrong of me or anybody to come out and just say, like, hey, here's some milk toast thing, and it's going to leave your A1C in the eights, but you know what? You're doing great. Don't worry about it. And then you might think that for the rest of your life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're not ready to do the things that lead to, you know, a six or a five or, you know, whatever the hell even matter, like, that's all well and good. At least you know what it is.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And there are plenty of people who, by the way, understand the concepts, don't have the headspace to implement all of them, but aren't overwhelmed by knowing there's more out there.

[B]

Totally, totally. I get that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And so it can't be for. I don't really know how to put it exactly. Like, I think the way that I explained it, a Long time ago. I still feel the same way. And maybe because you're an educator, you'll, you'll understand what I mean here. But there's 20 people in a class and two kids are limited and five are average and five are a little above average. And there's two that are brilliant and one that doesn't pay attention, one that stares at the ceiling. And like, you know, there's a mix of people in there. I don't think we do anybody any good teaching. Like, lowest common denominator. Like, I think you have to be aspirational when you teach.

[B]

Agree. Yeah, agree. Absolutely.

[A]

And absolutely. And I get. If you, I don't. I'm not insulted by what you said at all. Like you said, I'm sorry. You have to be sorry. Like, I, I completely understand maybe looking at it and going, I'm not ready for all this yet.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when you're, when you're first diagnosed, you're, you're drinking through a fire hose, right? You're. And you're still sort of like mourning and, you know, dealing with the grief of all of this. And, But I am forever grateful to you and to this podcast because I think I'd be lost without it.

[A]

Well, so tell me about that. Like, if you're not really ready for all of it, but you're still really grateful for it, explain to me what it's doing at the moment for you, what you expect for to do later.

[B]

Well, this is a silly example, but, you know, we're in the hospital and she's been diagnosed and there, you know, we're, we're mdi and they are saying, okay, count up her carbs after she's eaten and you know, give her, give her a shot, give her the insulin. And nobody told me that we should pre bolus. Not a single person.

[A]

Right.

[B]

At our children's hospital told us that. I think there is so much that. And it's not to be critical of the hospital because I think they're teaching you survival. They're not teaching you day to day management.

[A]

Can I laugh with you for a second?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You are so clearly a teacher because any, any person in a service industry, you're like, listen, they're trying their best.

[B]

They are.

[A]

You preface it, I love my nurse. I love this person I love. Now let me tell you something bad they do. I mean, you love them. Now tell me the bad part. Go ahead.

[B]

Yeah, but, but that's my next undertaking at some point in my life is redoing the education that newly diagnosed parents get in the hospital because it's. It was crap.

[A]

How are you going to. How are you going to make an impact on that?

[B]

Oh, I was, again, my type one mom friends, we were like, you know, this is. It's the largest, the large children. Children's Hospital. You're. You. You're getting diagnosis. You know, kids can be diagnosed left and right. And there's, I think, a way that we can provide education to families that also honors that. Like, they're in crisis right now. Right. And, yes, it's drinking through a fire hose, but good education is not handing parents a book and saying, here's what you do, and here's, you know, insulin that your child needs to survive, but don't give them too much because that they might die.

[A]

What are you gonna do? You're gonna pick it. You're gonna. You're gonna form a line. I know. You guys are labor. You could do that.

[B]

I. I actually think the diabetes educators I. That I've worked with, I think they're wanting to improve the education that happens. And, you know, we've. They're advocating, too. But I. I think it would be wise to partner with, you know, people in education to say, okay, how do adults learn? How can we give them more, you know, give parents of newly diagnosed children more information? But not just, yeah, count up their carbs, give them a shot afterwards, and you're good to go. No.

[A]

May I break your heart?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was speaking to a healthcare provider recently, and when I got finished, I got off the phone and thought, oh, my God, I understand this better than they do.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I was really like. And I checked myself. I went to a friend and I said, is it possible that they maybe are just holding back, like, what they really think, but, you know, are saying what is safe to say or what they're. I don't know what they're legally like. I don't. I'm, like, making quotes around the whole thing. I don't even know. Like, I just. I felt like I was getting a real vibe that I was saying they were saying one thing, and I was adding on to it by saying, like, yeah, but, you know, you have to really consider this, too. And then when they said, oh, no, I agree. But then they went back to the more basic idea, and I thought, I don't think. Feel like they're following me on the rest of this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And the person I spoke to again was like, yeah, I don't. I think sometimes you meet people who really don't get the bigger picture about this at all. They. They really, they were trained a certain way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's all they really know how to talk about. And they haven't dug into it any more than that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then sometimes those people are in charge of how things get decided.

[B]

That's. That's scary.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, we had. Maggie had a stomach virus last year and we ended up in the ER at the children's hospital. And the physician asked me when the last time I gave her her long acting insulin was okay. And I said, oh, she's on Omnipod 5. She's on an insulin pump. And he was like, yeah, no, I know. When did you give her her Lantus? They don't know.

[A]

Yeah. And you're like, well, I mean, a couple years ago, I guess.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's been a while.

[B]

Yeah. And that again, you, you the, the fight of, oh, take off her, you know, we're gonna take off her pod. No, you're not. Over my dead body. You're not taking it off.

[A]

That's tough. That's what you're up against, you know, and again, like, it's a lot of, a lot of personalities and, and understandings and intellects and it's a big soup and you've got to live through it. I just think of it more as, like, some years you get a good one and sometimes you don't. You just have to kind of, you know, bob and weave your way through it and totally even like, you know, when Arden got to high school. I look back now on this, like, lovely thing that the nurse said to me when I was meeting the nurse for the first time, like, oh, you know, so Arden will come down and we'll work out her boluses before every meal. And I was like, Arden's never coming down to the nurse's office if we can help it. And she's like, no, no, she'll come down. We'll be friends and we'll. And we'll blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, my daughter doesn't need a 45 year old buddy at school. I was like, but also, I see what she meant. And it was literally from a nice place. It was lovely. But then when I talked to her about diabetes, she really didn't understand it at all. And so I was like, I know you were going to be the buddy. And I was like, okay. But at the same time, like, there's. She's lovely. She came to work every day. She followed, she followed the instructions when the instructions were there. But very quickly. I don't know. Very quickly. I think she realized Arden wasn't. That's just where we kept the extra supplies.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Honestly, you know, like we weren't really looking for a lot of input.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But for the people who needed it. I don't know. I, I, I wish I could talk to those people. But then you have to count on those people having a self awareness.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Commiserate with the idea that they don't know what they're talking about either. So like, so since you don't know what you're talking about and the nurse maybe knows better than you, explain to me why this was a, a good experience for you without, and I'm not trying to, I wouldn't be trying to insult anybody. That's a hard conversation to have. Yeah. Is what I'm saying. Yeah.

[B]

But again, I think at the end of the day we can trust that the people who, who live this experience, you know, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, they're, they're going to be the experts. Not, you know, but, but again, it's, it's, it's not just type one. I think that's kind of a, a universal thing. I, I'm never going to understand spina bifida in the way that, you know, the family that's lived it, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does.

[A]

So I agree. That's it. You're doing a great job.

[B]

Thanks. Scott.

[A]

Is there anything that we didn't talk about that we should have or anything we missed? I don't want to miss anything.

[B]

I don't think so. Again, I think shout out to all the public school educators who are doing God's work and don't be afraid to be quote that parent. That's okay.

[A]

Yeah, it's okay. Get in there and advocate for yourself.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

That's a good message. You might not come off great, but just try to stay balanced. Don't be the crazy person. That's always my message. Try not to be the crazy person. Yeah, yeah, I take your point. Too long life, right?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You know, not a sprint.

[B]

Not a sprint.

[A]

That kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And if you get a, if you get a bad one this year, you might get a better one next year.

[B]

Absolutely. And you, and again, you can still work with the bad ones. Yeah, most of the time I do. I think so.

[A]

Some of the times they're horrible.

[B]

They are. And I think in those instances that's where I would say, then again, we're, we're moving on. We're we're. If it's the nurse, if it's the teacher, if it's. I'm going to request something different. You know, I think you can always problem solve.

[A]

Can I tell you that I have two children. One has gone through school and then four years of college and the other one is three and a half years in the college. I have seen them treated wonderfully by lovely people. I've seen them treated admirably by people who are solid workers. They're not great teachers or bad teachers. They're just, they get in there and do the work job. And I would tell you that I never would have believed this but a handful of times over all these years and two kids going through school, there have been teachers who just flat out do not like your kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it is, there's no more high mindedness to it than that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. Arden has had experiences where female teachers have said to her, well, yeah, I'm sure you're used to things going your way because you're pretty and like, I don't know how you, I don't know what meeting you're going to get that all worked out in. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

So then you realize that's the person you're dealing with and you try, you just melt into the background and just try to get by. You know what I mean? Like, you stay out of like, okay, this is not a fixable situation. Now was that happening constantly? This is obviously not the rule. Right. It was, it was an outlier, the exception.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But it happened. And sure. You know, I probably have about four examples of people being like where forget that they're teachers or anything. They're just terrible people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In a situation and you're like, it's,

[B]

it's sad that kids have to learn that lesson as kids, you know, we want to protect them. But on the same hand. Yeah. There's going to be people that don't like you. That's a hard lesson to learn. Yeah, I know. And it stinks.

[A]

It doesn't always have to make sense either. And that's the tough part because when you're young you're like, well you don't like, what did I do? Yeah, that's, that's a hard lesson. Like now you did. You don't have to do anything all the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's interesting. Meanwhile, most of them are fine.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

Some of them are like you, you seem lovely.

[B]

Well, thank you. I try.

[A]

You're welcome. Are you still nervous? We're done. Are you nervous now?

[B]

I am. I still am nervous. I don't know. And you're so lovely to talk to. It's just literally, it's. Again, this is like a full circle moment in my life.

[A]

All right, well, listen, you're on the short list. When the, when the lady leaves me, eventually I will. I'll throw your name out there, see if you're still married. Because you. You seem like you'd be impressed by whatever it is I do for a

[B]

living, and I'm sure that would wear off.

[A]

I'm gonna need that. I'm just gonna say I'm gonna need that help in the dating process is what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because I. I think I'm past the part where I'm gonna wow you in other ways, so. All right. All right, Courtney, thank you so much. Hold on one second. Thank you. You were really good.

[B]

I really appreciate it. Okay, awesome.

[A]

Hold on one second.

[B]

Take care. Okay.

[A]

The podcast episode that you just enjoyed was sponsored by Eversense CGM. They make the Eversense 365. That thing lasts a whole year. One insertion every year. Come on. You probably feel like I'm messing with you, but I'm not. Eversensecgm.com juicebox the podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Moby with control IQ/[e-mail] Juicebox There are links in the show notes and [e-mail] Arden has been getting her diabetes supplies from US Med for three, three years. You can as well usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. My thanks to US Med for sponsoring this episode and for being longtime sponsors of the Juice Box podcast. There are links in the show notes and [e-mail] to us Med and all the sponsors. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of the Juice Box podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app like Spotify or Apple Podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit, follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple Podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend. And if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? If you've ever heard a diabetes term and thought. Okay, but what does that actually mean? You need the Defining Diabetes series from the Juice Box podcast. Defining Diabetes takes all those phrases and terms that you don't understand and makes them clear quick and easy episodes. Find out what bolus means, basal insulin sensitivity and all of the rest. There has to be over 60 episodes of defining Diabetes. Check it out now in your audience audio player or go to juiceboxpodcast.com and go up into the menu. If you have a podcast and you need a fantastic editor, you want Rob from Wrong Way Recording Listen, truth be told, I'm like 20% smarter. When Rob edits me. He takes out all the like gaps of time and when I go and stuff like that and it just, I don't know, man. Like I listen back and I'm like, why do I sound smarter? And then I remember because I did one smart thing. I hired [e-mail].