← Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald
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- [00:00]
Heather McDonald
Introducing your new Dell PC with the Intel Core Ultra processor. It helps you handle a lot, even when your holiday to do list gets to be a lot like organizing your holiday shopping and searching for great holiday deals and customer questions and customers requesting custom things. Luckily you can get a PC with all day battery life to help you get it all done. That's the power of a Dell PC with Intel inside backed by Dell's Price Match guarantee. Get your before the holidays@dell.com deals, terms and conditions apply. See Dell.com for details.
- [00:43]
Monet X Change
All right y' all gather round because Monet X change from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now listen, the girls over at Google said Monet tell the children, so I'm telling you us college students. Get Google Gemini's Pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation, uploading a photo of your homework to ask for help, or transcribing notes from a lecture you missed, Gemini 3 Pro can help. And baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it Monet X changed in the library Uploading picture of my music theory homework like Gemini, please help a diva out or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying in the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro. Unlimited image uploads Pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs, two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me, two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look, and every photo your aunt sends you of her plants. Visit Gemini Google students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.
- [02:07]
Heather McDonald
Introducing your new Dell PC with the Intel Core Ultra processor. It helps you handle a lot. Even when your holiday to do list gets to be a lot like organizing your holiday shopping and searching for great holiday deals and customer questions and customers requesting custom things. Luckily you can get a PC with all day battery life to help you get it all done. That's the power of a Dell PC with Intel inside backed by Dell's Price match guarantee. Get yours before the holidays@dell.com deals, terms and conditions apply. See Dell.com for details.
- [02:51]
Heather McDonald has got the juices scoop when you're on the road, when you're on on the Go. Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales. Her real life Mr. Sigmund, serial data and cereal sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in. Listen up. Woo woo. Hannah McDonald, juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have one of my dear friends, one of our favorites. He is an award winning writer. Around the corner is the egot. Am I right Guy?
- [03:35]
Guy Branum
Only if we count my Golden Globe as the G. A lot of people.
- [03:38]
Heather McDonald
Don'T know that after Whitney plays Roxie Hart. Whitney from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, you are the next person that is going to be playing Roxie Hart in Chicago. And so then yeah, you'll have an Emmy and a Tony for Roxie Hart and then the Oscar is gonna be coming around the corner.
- [04:02]
Guy Branum
We all know how much I love my sound editing. It's, you know, actor, comedian, sound editor is what you've always understood me as. And really focus on that for I.
- [04:12]
Heather McDonald
Okay, I love it, Guy. Brianna, always so funny on a world tour with your one man show.
- [04:18]
Guy Branum
But back to the Tony Awards. I just have to ask if the offer were out there for you to be O Mary, would you do a touring O Mary, would you do O.
- [04:29]
Heather McDonald
Mary is the poliscoolish show about Lincoln being gay and Mary Todd being his wife.
- [04:37]
Guy Branum
Have you seen it?
- [04:39]
Heather McDonald
I have not. But I can't tell you about a night I had with my sorority sister, my big sis, Lisa. She has a beautiful place in New York. After I performed, we went to dinner, Dr. Drew and his wife, we came back to her house and that was the first time I said I believe Lincoln was gay. And I gave out all the facts and Dr. Drew was like, what? And like first time he'd ever heard it. So then she went to the play and she was like, Heather, this you know, and I know I wasn't the first person to say this 10 years ago, but there was overwhelming evidence 10, 15 years ago that they had, you know, sharing a bed. And you know, but then they were like, what? It was cold and you know, like whatever it, I have to see it.
- [05:26]
Guy Branum
Because I heard it's basically an episode. It's basically like an amazing episode of I Love Lucy. You're. You're really going to love it. But yes, I am taking my show Be Fruitful on tour. I am going to be in Philadelphia on December 17th, D.C. on December 18th, and then in Brooklyn on December 19th.
- [05:46]
Heather McDonald
So it's fabulous. It's funny. He sings, he dances, he does costume changes.
- [05:52]
Guy Branum
I do Not.
- [05:52]
Heather McDonald
You're basically Luann De Lesseps. Is this cabaret?
- [05:55]
Guy Branum
I do not. I do not sing, and it is quite explicitly not cabaret.
- [05:59]
Heather McDonald
I did see a costume change in your preview, though.
- [06:02]
Guy Branum
Yes. I mean, I shouldn't have shown that.
- [06:03]
Heather McDonald
Like, that's a finale moment.
- [06:05]
Guy Branum
That's supposed to be a secret. But what is the thing that Sutton does? Not Sutton. The thing that.
- [06:13]
What'S her name does. That's like burlesque and cabaret.
- [06:16]
Heather McDonald
Oh, Sonia Morgan.
- [06:17]
Guy Branum
Sonia. Yes.
- [06:18]
Heather McDonald
No, she does stand up now.
- [06:20]
Guy Branum
Oh, really?
- [06:20]
Heather McDonald
Yeah.
- [06:21]
Guy Branum
I'm sure she's amazing.
- [06:24]
Heather McDonald
It's all so good. We're gonna get into all of that. Okay, but first I need to tell you what is going on since I reported last on the diddy doc by 50 Cent. So I was explaining a little to you yesterday. Now let me explain what happened. Marlon Waynes of the Wayne's fame. White Chicks. I've worked with him. My opinion delight. Okay. Anyway, he was on a podcast radio show. Someone asked him, what do you think of this? And he basically said, I mean, the man's doing five years in jail. Why kick him when you're down 50, you know, karma's gonna get you. Yeah, but he also, I think, said, I haven't watched it. I don't know if he said that or not, but it seemed clear he hadn't watched it. Yes.
- [07:15]
Guy Branum
50 Cent has been shot multiple times. Has karma already gotten.
- [07:22]
Heather McDonald
So true. Okay, so hold that thought, because we did a book sketch, but I want to talk about that. A book club sketch about. With 50 back in the day.
- [07:31]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [07:31]
Heather McDonald
Okay, so.
- [07:34]
He. Then 50 comes after him, and 50, you know, writes. Shows a photo of him as white chick and is like, keep my mouth. My name out of your mouth and this and that. And then Marlon goes and does this. 12 years as a slave.
- [07:56]
Photo of 50. You know, photoshopped this one in the comments was very poorly received.
- [08:06]
And that's on Marlon's page. So those are fans of Marlon being like, this is not it. Yes, like, this is not it. Why are you defending Diddy? Like, whatever. And then it keeps going back and forth, and then Fitty does a post.
- [08:22]
Guy Branum
It's always rough to be the seventh most talented person in your family.
- [08:30]
Heather McDonald
Listen.
- [08:34]
I've worked with them all. And you even said, wait, are you gonna talk about this? Aren't you good friends? Yeah, I'm good friends with all of them. I've worked on the movie. I've had this show for 10, more than 10 years. I've invited every single one of the Waynes brothers that I worked on White Chicks and the TV shows with over and over and over again. So, no, you know what? I will speak about any topic that I find interesting.
- [08:55]
Guy Branum
Being the seventh most talented person in that family is very impressive. They're all very good. Have you seen Damon Jr. Do physical comedy? They're all Kim's amazing. Like, they're all very.
- [09:06]
Heather McDonald
And they're all lovely, and they have the greatest family. So this is something that all of us in this world have gotten caught up in. When you could have just written Fitty and said, hey, I haven't seen the doc. I was merely answering a question. Let's stop it here. But then the other side is by doing this now we're talking about you. Marlon has standup gigs. You know, this is all. It's, you know, there's no bad pub, there's no bad publicity, whatever. So they. But they keep going back. And in my opinion, the majority is on Fitty side because they're thinking somehow he's defending P. Diddy or minimizing it. So then Fitty goes and pulls up videos and puts it on his Instagram of Marlon talking highly of P. Diddy, saying, I went to all these parties, yet I never saw any of the freaky stuff, you know? And then he takes another clip of a movie that Marlon did that was a parody of, like, Haunted House, where he wakes up and it's like he was, you know, effed in the butt, whatever. So he's acting like that.
- [10:19]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [10:20]
Heather McDonald
So they're both then. Then Marlon shows a photo of Fitty and Sean Puffy Combs in a Jacuzzi together, but could also look like two dads in a Jacuzzi together after a golf game. They're just, like, sitting there, but still. So it's a little jabs at homophobia at both of them on both sides, which Marlon has, I believe, a trans child and has spoken very. Spoken openly in support of gay people and as an ally. But they're both jabbing at it.
- [10:53]
Guy Branum
For these, like, Gen X or Elder Millennial guys, like, they're Gen X. A little homophobia is just, like, part of the game when insulting each other. And I think it's hard for them to, like, extract themselves from that. I also think that, like, Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer and then got to be like, he did a diss track as the super bowl halftime show. I think that, like, we have really, like, elevated this sort of, like, diss track y thing I do have to won. Is the documentary just about the world of Hip hop, trying to egot and trying to move out into, like, filmmaking so you can pick up those Emmys and Oscars. But I also think that, like, so many people have been able to elevate their brands off of these things. But also, like, it's really like, you know, Drake is a tarnished brand now because of how effectively, like, Kendrick Lamar did his thing. And I, you know, I wonder.
- [11:49]
Heather McDonald
But isn't it also the weird Millie Bobby Brown stuff, too, that Drake was giving her advice and texting her at 12?
- [11:56]
Guy Branum
I mean, there's a lot of creepiness. Like, the thing about. I would never do a documentary about I went to parties. They weren't that bad. But, like, the thing is, is, like, you know, in. In the 2000s, like, a lot of people were going to Brett Ratner parties where things were happening. I definitely went to some gay parties in the 2010s where, you know, like, everything was fine. And then later you found out that, like, directors were being creepy or whatever.
- [12:26]
Heather McDonald
Well, that's why. And I've been guilty of this, too.
- [12:29]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [12:29]
Heather McDonald
That is why you might have something interesting to say or a joke or whatever, like Marlon did, and he's an improviser. And he was asked, however, if you do not watch the number one documentary in America and the uk, which is four parts.
- [12:44]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [12:45]
Heather McDonald
Maybe make that clear before you comment on it, because it isn't like that. I think if you watch it, anybody, it is four parts. And maybe you're like, like I said on Tuesday, you might be like, oh, my God, I covered the trial. I saw it all. It's so much better than that because it really. It's really an understanding of him, Sean Puffy Combs as a human being and that archetype of a person. Maybe, you know, someone like this, they're not obviously at the puffy level of crime and manipulation, but they might have a little bit of that in. And you're kind of like, oh, wow, that's interesting that, like, he was raised this way and then went this way and then, you know, put himself in all the music stuff and was jealous of his artists and then also fucked up and didn't pay him. And, like, so there's so many more than just, oh, you know, I went to the party and I participated, and now I'm bitter. It's not that. That's not what he did. And he produced it and he bought the footage because P. Diddy never paid the people that he hired to film him.
- [13:50]
Guy Branum
Oh, wow, that's hilarious.
- [13:51]
Heather McDonald
So, I mean, he screwed over people for $20. He like didn't just, you know, it wasn't just big things. It wasn't just him being, you know, violent against women and men in his life and essaying people, it's like so much worse than that.
- [14:06]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [14:06]
Heather McDonald
And so it is very interesting, but this back and forth, you know, and then Marlon's like, hey. And Marlon spoke this morning and he said, hey, I am not supporting P. Diddy. I was just saying this. You know, someone asked me a question and I get all that. And it's like, we're just in this such a world now. Whether it's people talking about each other on, I always say there should be a show. I heard what you said about me on your podcast. Instead of picking up the phone and talking to someone. And it's really weird to like your whole life, you know, we would have to. In my generation, we'd have to do a three way call. If you wanted to hear two people talk shit about you right now, you can just, you know, pop it up in your car and listen to your two best friends for the last 20 years say that you're not that great.
- [14:50]
Guy Branum
No, like, it's very hard. It's very easy. And these like this comment culture, this comment section culture is very real. I recently was watching some Donahue's on YouTube and it was amazing because like it's back in the 1980s and everybody is communicating in good faith. People may not agree with each other, but they're just trying to like, understand each other. And I feel like everyone is now just really in love with getting mad and, you know, talking shit at each other.
- [15:18]
Heather McDonald
If you are liking the show, let me know by actually clicking like button, subscribe and share with others. It really makes a difference. And if you want some of the juiciest stuff, the exclusive stuff, you want to go to over to my Patreon. And you do that by going to heathermcdonald.net, click on Patreon. There is some juice from this show that we had to cut out and put over there because it was just too juicy. Yeah. And I feel like sometimes with, with guys and especially comedians and you have these two strong, you know, great personalities, funny, talented people, 50 Cent and, you know, and Marlon. And so they're like, yeah, I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to admit I'm wrong. I'm not going to say, hey, I should have made it clear I didn't watch it, whatever, because now the disses are so bad. So he's like, I'm going to keep trolling. I'm going to keep trolling. That's what Merlin says. And then, you know, so it's just.
- [16:10]
Guy Branum
Patton Oswald just did the Vulture comedy podcast that Jesse David Fox did, and he did a really hard sort of, like, comedians being raised to, like, never apologize for anything is, like, dumb and wrong and from the past. And you do have to, like, understand that, like, you should grow. You should grow and be able to look back at your material and be like, oh, I don't believe that. In the same way that I did before now, you know? Yeah, yeah.
- [16:38]
Heather McDonald
I mean, it's interesting that, you know, Marlon isn't just, like, trying to clear it up and end it.
- [16:43]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [16:44]
Heather McDonald
And he's kind of playing along with it and because I remember when my misunderstanding happened with Chelsea and I didn't have the platform, I did have the podcast, and I did clear it up on my podcast two days later. And I did apologize and explain that it was taken out of context by that time. Nobody cares. I wasn't big enough for them to pick up my side, so I just had to suffer with looking like an ungrateful dork for five years. But I remember I saw him right after that at a movie premiere of his, and he was like, what are you doing? You look bad in this. And I go, I've already apologized, but I'm not a big enough person to get the press. So I was like. I'm like, yeah, I'll tell you, you're not coming off well in this, in my opinion. And because you're, you know, two 50 plus year old men, even though they both look great.
- [17:35]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [17:36]
Heather McDonald
And they're so powerful and they're so rich. And then also, like you said, it's become this kind of fun culture in hip hop. They kind of began. They kind of started it.
- [17:44]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [17:44]
Heather McDonald
And now everybody does it a little bit with the back and forth and with podcasts and Instagram, you can do it. But, you know, in the end, yeah, Sean Combs is a horrible, horrible person. Like, he's just a horrible person. If you want to believe 40% of the stuff that's out there, he's still a horrible person. And I think Marlon's like saying, hey, I didn't defend him, but again, it got mistruded. And now you're going back and forth a million times.
- [18:11]
Guy Branum
And it's hard because also, there's a way that we can lionize and romanticize some of the terrible things that happen. Every story about a hip Hop mogul dangling someone outside of a window. You are like, that's juicy.
- [18:26]
Heather McDonald
Yeah. And then it's like, oh. Another one that Marlon did was like, showed a photo of Curtis 50 Cent, like oiled up with his shirt off. And he's like, looks like you liked the baby oil. I'm like, wait, what is going like? And then I imagine each of them, like, are they a alone taking a shit, doing this? Or do they have like five people on computers pulling up old photos that look that they could make a funny meme out of to go back at each other?
- [18:51]
Guy Branum
I mean, that's interesting because I do think the way that these sort of like echo chambers of having people, people who employ you or who are employed by you and who like, wanna make you happy are coming to you with like, we could do this. We could do this.
- [19:03]
Heather McDonald
Yeah.
- [19:04]
Guy Branum
And it stops you, you know, there's no one there sort of saying like, hey, let's de escalate this.
- [19:08]
Heather McDonald
Yeah. Like now. Yeah. In the past, people, you know, had a sitcom on adbc.
- [19:13]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [19:13]
Heather McDonald
And they had a bunch of writers and maybe they like in our day would maybe pick up a few writers to help them write the opening monologue for an MTV Awards.
- [19:21]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [19:21]
Heather McDonald
Now everyone just has a bunch of people doing their social media and what they're, you know, and it's, it's immediate, like.
- [19:29]
Guy Branum
But also there are people who are good at it. Like, I worked the VMAs like 10 years ago and Nicki Minaj was going to sort of like open beef with Miley Cyrus there and just sort of. She had a team of people around her who were like constantly strategizing with her. And it was like, magnificent to watch. But also, you see so many people who have been like, taken down by this beefing.
- [19:53]
Heather McDonald
You know, Nicki Minaj then moved on to Cardi B.
- [19:56]
Guy Branum
Yes. And like, I think has been damaged by that. Right?
- [19:58]
Heather McDonald
Yeah. Because Cardi B is better at it.
- [20:01]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [20:01]
Heather McDonald
Just like 50 Cent is better at it.
- [20:03]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [20:04]
Heather McDonald
Some people, those are your talents. And she would even say that expression, you know, Michelle Obama expression, when they go low, we go high. She's like, no, when they go low, I take them to hell.
- [20:13]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [20:13]
Heather McDonald
It's a great. And now people are saying, like, yeah, you know, there's what would Jesus do? And then there's if you wanna be petty, get revenge. What would 50 Cent do? And like, where. Where are you in your goals here?
- [20:25]
Guy Branum
I mean, make them cry and then see where we can move forward from there.
- [20:29]
Heather McDonald
I think, isn't it's the housewife motto. Yes. I love it when housewives are always like, this show is about conflict and resolution. I'm like, who started that? That's not what the show is about. When I started watching. It's about women in sky tops with no eyelashes and thin lips and pre recession 2007 in their own homes with their rooster ceramic chickens and Tuscan kitchens and rooster chickens. Yeah, like those roosters.
- [20:59]
Guy Branum
Like, it was that Bethany's one bedroom apartment.
- [21:02]
Heather McDonald
Yeah, that's what it was. Like this, you know, now the show's like, oh, it's got. They've got to fight and resolve and the other women will be like, if you don't accept my apology, like, what are you doing? You better accept our apology, otherwise we're not all going to be in the show together. Well, then that's not a reality show.
- [21:16]
Guy Branum
Right?
- [21:17]
Heather McDonald
Because it's like, you know, so anyway, well, this is a reality show. This is the real house husbands of hip hop taking the streets. I don't know, but I. I hope it doesn't go anywhere weird. Also, Fitty said showed a photo of, like a funeral arrangement from Pitti. From Pittie. From Pittie. Yeah. P. Diddy. P. Diddy. Pittie from P. Diddy. I'm like, every time I listen back to these podcasts, I'm like, did I mix up Biggie and Diddy and Fitty? And I'm hoping I don't anyway. And everyone's like, oh, my God, how did he send that to you? And whatever. And I'm also like, okay, with all due, this could be from Fitty to himself to keep a narrative of like, oh, he's sending me funeral flowers. And yeah, I got shot nine times. And yeah, I'm not afraid. Who the fuck knows what's real or not? You and I were just talking about these AI videos that now are so sad because we know that they're not real.
- [22:14]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [22:15]
Heather McDonald
Like, and I was saying, you know when I like videos where, like, a dog protects a baby from going up the stairs. And now I'm like, is that even real?
- [22:24]
Guy Branum
But. And it also leads us to a world where anytime people get any information that they don't like, they're like, that's a false flag. That's for this person pretending to do something to themselves.
- [22:33]
Heather McDonald
That's not my voicemail. Someone aied my voice. Which is possible. Yeah.
- [22:37]
Guy Branum
Yes. But also, it's usually not what happens. No. Yeah, everyone, I was hacked. Do you remember the glorious age of I was hacked when people had tweeted Something that was dumb.
- [22:49]
Heather McDonald
We have some glorious ages I'm going to. Oh, speaking of which, we're going back. Going back to 50 here. Introducing your new Dell PC with the Intel Core Ultra processor. It helps you handle a lot. Even when your holiday to do list gets to be a lot like organizing your holiday shopping and searching for great holiday deals and customer questions and customers requesting custom things. Ugh. Luckily you can get a PC with all day battery life to help you get it all done. That's the power of a Dell PC with Intel inside backed by Dell's price match guarantee. Get yours before the holidays@dell.com deals, terms and conditions apply. See Dell.com for details.
- [23:38]
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- [24:56]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [24:57]
Heather McDonald
We decided to do a book club episode. A book club sketch?
- [25:02]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [25:03]
Heather McDonald
Where you were the head of the book club, correct?
- [25:04]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [25:05]
Heather McDonald
Cause you're the smartest one. Lawyer Berkeley grad. Need I say more?
- [25:12]
So anyway, I'm playing myself. But for people that hated me on Chelsea Lately and after lately I was an exaggerated version of certain tropes. Traits that I do embody.
- [25:24]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [25:25]
Heather McDonald
But to a ridiculous I'm a fan. I'm a white girl from the Valley. I'm So anyway, I actually read his book.
- [25:34]
Guy Branum
Yes. And so Heather Loves a Celebrity Biography.
- [25:37]
Heather McDonald
I love it. And it was crazy. Like he was selling drugs at like nine. It was insane.
- [25:45]
But anyway, so we do this whole. We're doing this whole thing. And I say to Drake, I go, drake, see if we can find this sketch somewhere.
- [25:53]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [25:54]
Heather McDonald
Because once the show ended, E hated us all so much, they just took everything off the Internet, which we are grateful. So lucky for us, we are grateful for it. God bless the. God bless the E person that got that order and threw it down a river.
- [26:09]
Guy Branum
Look, what passed for comedy in 2008 is now a war crime.
- [26:16]
Heather McDonald
That is a great line, guy. You're so smart. What did you say it again for?
- [26:22]
Guy Branum
Comedy in 2008 is now a war cry.
- [26:25]
Heather McDonald
Brilliant.
- [26:26]
Guy Branum
Thanks.
- [26:27]
Heather McDonald
So, I mean, trust me, we are all better off. But there are some people that have found sketches of me.
- [26:34]
Guy Branum
Whatever.
- [26:35]
Heather McDonald
So we could not find it, but somehow Drake found an article written about it.
- [26:39]
Guy Branum
Oh, wow.
- [26:40]
Heather McDonald
Or something. And it's like Heather McDonald acts like she's, you know, is saying that she's afraid that Chelsea's dating this guy.
- [26:47]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [26:48]
Heather McDonald
And then a book falls on the ground and I go down like it's a shooting because. And then 50 comes in and was part of the sketch.
- [26:57]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [26:57]
Heather McDonald
And he's like, why are you afraid, Heather? And I have to act like I'm afraid of black men after I've written White chicks, Been with the Wayne Showers, whatever.
- [27:06]
Guy Branum
The story comes straight through Keenan Ivory Wayans, Acting people. And also, like, part of comedy can be self parody and, like, exaggeration and making fun of the things about yourself that you understand are imperfect. And there is a way that, like, I think a lot of the Gen Z comedy consumers don't understand anything being dangerous or difficult or a character needing to improve or anything. Like, it can be really hard. Like, I've been doing these little videos where I talk about things that only the old gays remember. And, like, in one of them, I.
- [27:39]
Heather McDonald
Like, tell me one.
- [27:40]
Guy Branum
Oh, like, I do.
- [27:42]
Heather McDonald
Because I do identify as an old gay. No, you.
- [27:44]
Guy Branum
100%. Like, I talked about Sharon the Bagel Boy.
- [27:47]
Heather McDonald
I talked Sharon the bagel Boy.
- [27:50]
Guy Branum
I talked about Rob Lowe's sex tape.
- [27:52]
Heather McDonald
That kind of thing at the dmc, Right?
- [27:55]
Guy Branum
Yes. But I did one about memories. I did one about this very famous drag race lip sync for your life. And at the beginning, I sort of emphasized, like, oh, Natalie Cole, she's a middling diva. And, oh, Dita Ritz was a middling drag queen. And everybody's like, how dare you? And I'm like, babes, I'm lowering expectations so that when we get to the climax, it's amazing. And we realize that, like, celebrating how great Natalie Cole was the whole point of this whole thing. And people are just like, you said something that was upsetting and like, wasn't what I wanted you to say. And so watch to the end and then see maybe if there was a point to the whole thing. And like they're being shots in that. Like, that's part of 50 Cent story. Like, that's right.
- [28:35]
Heather McDonald
So, I mean, we were writing it, having a good time writing it and he was such a great sport and everything. So I hope that these two can get a cute lunch together.
- [28:46]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [28:46]
Heather McDonald
With their bodyguards and you know, or do it high. Go to the Waldorf historian at three o' clock for, for, for apps.
- [28:55]
Guy Branum
No, I like, I like your, like, I think cute lunch politics needs to be a concept that's out there and understanding like a half bottle of sauvignon blanc can solve so many problems.
- [29:05]
Heather McDonald
Absolutely, Absolutely. Chinese chicken salad.
- [29:08]
Guy Branum
Chinese chicken salad.
- [29:10]
Heather McDonald
I love to share. I love to share. I like between two people. If you're hungry, two apps, one entree.
- [29:17]
Guy Branum
Oh, wonderful.
- [29:18]
Heather McDonald
Just, it's the way to go, people.
- [29:21]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [29:21]
Heather McDonald
And it makes it fun and it's very sad when you meet someone who's like, I'm not into sharing.
- [29:26]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [29:27]
Heather McDonald
Just don't go, go by yourself.
- [29:30]
Guy Branum
Right. But also I think, oh, there was one writer on my talk show who hated any shared plate situation and he was like, very aggress.
- [29:39]
But like, I do think that, like, sharing requires a level, a level of trust.
- [29:43]
Heather McDonald
You know, it is. I survey the room.
- [29:46]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [29:47]
Heather McDonald
I went out to dinner last night with there's five of us. And I said, you know, they know it's what I like to do.
- [29:56]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [29:57]
Heather McDonald
Look at the menu. I like to get a variety of things. A fish, a meat salad. And we did pretty well. We did pretty well. I give it my ordering. Like I last night I'd give it about a seven and a half. It wasn't a full home run.
- [30:12]
Guy Branum
There were times in my life when I would be very reticent. One time I went to this great restaurant with a bunch of writers from a show and it was all of the women from the show and like no one ate anything and I was like, so mad. But now I am at a very middle aged point in my life where I will take the last squash blossom.
- [30:27]
Heather McDonald
You know, I always, I never leave. I used to be like, how are they letting that last meatball go? That last appetizer meatball. No way. I don't know what it is. Myself sister and I have our mother's like, voice in Our head. Like, that's a good piece of salmon.
- [30:44]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [30:45]
Heather McDonald
You can't always get salmon like that. I don't care if you're full. Shove it down your gullet.
- [30:49]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [30:50]
Heather McDonald
But, you know, with everybody being on the shots and stuff, you just aren't hungry for it. But I still have the cheap gene.
- [30:56]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [30:57]
Heather McDonald
Where I'm saving it for the winter.
- [30:59]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [31:00]
Heather McDonald
And I'm like, I don't know when I'm going to be at a nice restaurant again with a good piece of fish.
- [31:04]
Guy Branum
The way that the GLP1 drugs are changing people's outlooks, how is this going to affect the supermarkets of Los Angeles? I'm wondering how are the la or how are the Las Vegas sports books going to do when people take their GLP1 drug and then they don't feel the need to bet on college sports as much?
- [31:21]
Heather McDonald
They said it's affecting gambling. Did you hear that?
- [31:23]
Guy Branum
I did not hear that.
- [31:24]
Heather McDonald
It's affecting choice of drinking as much.
- [31:27]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [31:27]
Heather McDonald
There's now specific GLPs that they're creating just to focus on not wanting to drink.
- [31:33]
Guy Branum
Oh, really?
- [31:35]
Heather McDonald
Napa's. Like, we won't be investing in that stock.
- [31:37]
Guy Branum
Okay.
- [31:38]
Heather McDonald
And then there is one for your fat cat.
- [31:41]
Guy Branum
Oh, wow. That's insane.
- [31:43]
Heather McDonald
And bringing out fat drugs. But while we were talking about for the fat cat.
- [31:47]
Guy Branum
While we were talking about Chelsea lately, I do just want to reflect back to you that the times we spent in the little media center there just watching a television show together, I think that we watched the first drag race there. The Handjob TV movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt is one of.
- [32:03]
Heather McDonald
I need to talk about that. Okay, first of all, if you're watching this on YouTube, please subscribe and tell a friend. But the little media room we're talking about is just this couches and one tv. And so sometimes if we wanted to make fun of something or we had a little time on a Thursday or Friday, we had DVR'd shows. And there was a Lifetime movie about Jennifer Love Hewitt.
- [32:27]
Doing. She was a hooker at a massage place.
- [32:30]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [32:32]
Heather McDonald
And I'm gonna say hooker because that's what we called him back then.
- [32:34]
Guy Branum
The client list.
- [32:34]
Heather McDonald
The client list. And we were dying because they were doing hand jobs. And then what else? And they were sleeping with them. But then they'd be like, it's better than waitressing.
- [32:46]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [32:46]
Heather McDonald
That's what they would say. And I'm like, is picking up someone else's eaten plate less or more offensive than sucking a D of someone you don't know who's the sheriff down the road like, what, What? We were like, what is this show? Like, how is this worse than not?
- [33:03]
Guy Branum
I mean, it was, it was a magnificent show. But also like there wasn't enough space for all of us to sit down. So Heather would usually lay on the ground and then halfway through be like, someone crack my back.
- [33:13]
Heather McDonald
Yes. I. I've been addicted to cracking my own back. Having people crack my back and cracking others backs, that has been something. I've asked Dr. Drew, could this be an addiction? And he said, well, would you like leave your family for it? I said, no.
- [33:28]
Guy Branum
Do you think that a GLP1 drug would reduce your inclination to crack people's backs or have your back cracks?
- [33:34]
Heather McDonald
It would be good because also when I'm tired and in bed, I like to watch chiropractic cracking videos as if somehow I'm getting a weird relief out of watching the person get cracked.
- [33:45]
Guy Branum
Okay, I won't go to a chiropractor because it scares me and I think it's pseudoscience.
- [33:51]
Heather McDonald
I'm gonna be the 1.0008 that comes out of quadriplegic.
- [33:54]
Guy Branum
Except that I love watching chiropractic videos. There's a guy in Orange county who's amazing.
- [33:59]
Heather McDonald
Yeah, I've been to him. Yes, he is good and he did crack myself and I felt good about it, but I still am just like scared to go back.
- [34:07]
Guy Branum
But then I need to tell you the one exception to I will never go to chiropractors. It is a pseudocycle. There is a chiropractor. There are multiple chiropractor offices in the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport. And I. It's a doctor's office in an airport. Really? And I will just be like, I would never go in Los Angeles, but oh, I have a two hour layover.
- [34:28]
Heather McDonald
Yes. So did you.
- [34:29]
Guy Branum
Oh, I've done it so many times.
- [34:31]
Heather McDonald
Wait, you get full blown cracks.
- [34:33]
Guy Branum
You get full blown adjustments. Full blown adjustments.
- [34:36]
Heather McDonald
Wet. Oh my God. I would do it. Cause when I'm in the airport, I'm like, I'll go to those other people. Those massage people. Yes, like in the chair.
- [34:45]
Guy Branum
And like that's fine. That's lovely. But at the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport, there are multiple locations where you can just say like, hey, what's going on? Let's do this.
- [34:55]
Heather McDonald
And they don't do it. Obviously. They don't do any X rays or anything. They're just like, let me pull your neck.
- [35:00]
Guy Branum
No, let me pull your neck. And then also I think I was going to stretch lab in Los Angeles. And there was a guy who was a student chiropractor who was there who wouldn't do, like, neck adjustments and stuff, but he would do some other, like, chiropractic stuff. And you'd get some cracks, I would get some cracks. And he doesn't work there anymore. And I'm pretty sure that they fired him for unlicensed practice.
- [35:20]
Heather McDonald
When I go into a massage place, I say, listen, I know you're not supposed to, but I, like, wink, yes. And I'm like, but fucking make it happen.
- [35:29]
Guy Branum
That's a real happy ending.
- [35:31]
Heather McDonald
That's the only happy ending I want. Oh, my God. Amazing. So funny. Okay, moving on.
- [35:38]
Danity Kane reunited, and they're gonna do. They're gonna go on the road. And that's Aubrey o' Day's band that she did from making of the Band. And she. She's supposed to come on Juicy Scoop.
- [35:49]
Guy Branum
Oh, wow.
- [35:50]
Heather McDonald
We did an event together a little while ago. Obviously, she's in the doc. It's very sad what she reveals that in someone else's complaint or whatever, says, I walked into a room and she was unconscious and being violated by two men, one being Diddy. And so that's a very disturbing thing. But she's great and she was great at this event. She sang and she was great and she was fun, and hopefully she'll have time to come on before she goes on tour. But she's a great personality. Like, she's really funny besides being a great singer. So this could just be the lemonade that comes after all these years. I really hope.
- [36:32]
Guy Branum
I mean, it's for all of time. We have expected that any woman's path to success is going to have to negotiate through a bunch of creepiness and a bunch of predatory behavior. And it's always weird to, like, look back after social change and just, like, the number of things that people had to take for granted. I mean, even when it just comes to, like, having phones thrown at you when you were an assistant and that kind of thing back in the 2000s, we all were just like, that's part of the game. And it really does require somebody to be like, you know, sexual assault is not a necessary part of becoming a girl group.
- [37:10]
Heather McDonald
I know. And I. And I went. I remember the only really offensive thing. Well, there's been a lot, but this one just was strange because it came from a woman. So after I wrote on the Kenyan Ever Wayne's Late Night Talk show for whatever six months, and I was only 27, it was a Writers Guild job. So that was pretty good that I got that. And so I go for some other meeting. I don't know if it was a casting or what, but it was a woman. And I. And she was probably like 10 years older than I am or maybe a little bit older, but, you know, attractive, whatever. And she's like, wait, what? You were writing for Keenan Ivory Waynes? And she's like, whose dick did you have to suck to get that job? And I go, what? And she goes, no, seriously?
- [37:53]
Guy Branum
Oh, wow.
- [37:53]
Heather McDonald
And I was like, nobody's like, nothing. Like all the. I've said over and over, all the guys, extremely respectful. Nothing weird ever happened on any of those sets with me and writing and nothing. But also I was like, does that mean, like, my agent who got me the job? Like, it was just. It was so diminishing, too.
- [38:13]
Guy Branum
It's also, like, let's take a moment to acknowledge that Kenan and Ivory Wayans had multiple female writers at a point in time where having multiple female writers on a variety show, like, that was not normal. And, like, that's very impressive. But also this person and who's just sort of reflecting back this idea that, like, the only way you could have gotten that job was that. And, like, there's that galany energy.
- [38:36]
Heather McDonald
Ghislaine Maxwell. Yes.
- [38:37]
Guy Branum
Of women who were like, women can be the way I can move through this system. Like, if it's going to be a transactional system, I'll, you know, move people around and facilitate this stuff, you know, to get ahead. And it's like, it's weird because as somebody who's not directly affected by these things, part of me is like, that's so sad. That's so horrible. How could people participate in that? And also acknowledging that, like, it was the only way to move through that system. As a woman, like, you, like.
- [39:12]
Doors were shut and people were doing things to get through the doors, and they were gross things. And I'm not saying they're okay. I'm just sort of saying, like, that's how it happened, you know?
- [39:22]
Heather McDonald
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- [42:33]
Kim Kardashian Cried. On her latest episode of her reality show, reflecting on what she remembers Howard Stern talking about her Paris robbery. Because during the season that's up right now, she's actually going to trial for the men that robbed her that were actual professional, like, older, French, like, you know, jewel thieves and things.
- [42:59]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [42:59]
Heather McDonald
And it took a very long time for her for the trial to come, but it was coming. So she's reflecting on it, and she's like, I just remember, you know, Howard Stern mocking it and saying that, you know, it wasn't real. So then Howard talks about it and is like, well, luckily, this show is taped, so let's just see what her memory is. You know, is it right? And then they show him, and he. You know, he says that's what people are saying, that it's not real and everything, which I get that both of them are right. She has a right to be hurt by it. He said what he said.
- [43:36]
Guy Branum
I mean, it's just such. The Kardashians are such a weird thing because they have made a huge amount of money off of being cultural objects. But also, how much. Like, how much are we allowed to say? Like, oh, they're not people, and I don't have to worry about their feelings, because there are these things. It's like we're trying to come to a point where we are more able to acknowledge people's humanity. But, like.
- [43:58]
Heather McDonald
Well, it was a good joke that he said. Robyn Quivers says. She's, like, reading the thing, the info, and she says, and, you know, you know, they. They put her in a bathtub, and they took all her jewels. And, you know, security was with the sisters at a nightclub, and there were no surveillance cameras or whatever that caught anything. And, you know, he made some joke like, yeah, the one time that cameras aren't following the Kardashians.
- [44:22]
Guy Branum
Oh, that is a good point.
- [44:23]
Heather McDonald
And so I think that she, like, remembered, and it's like, the way your memory is. It's not 100% accurate, but it was hurtful.
- [44:31]
Guy Branum
Well, especially about something traumatic.
- [44:32]
Heather McDonald
Yeah, it was hurtful. So it's like she has a right to remember it as. And it was.
- [44:37]
Guy Branum
My question is, when will Kim be brought to justice for the crimes against acting that she is committing on All's Fair.
- [44:43]
Heather McDonald
Well, since we're gonna talk about that, how much have you watched?
- [44:46]
Guy Branum
I've watched the first episode. I haven't watched any more.
- [44:49]
Heather McDonald
I've watched, like, the first two and a half and sort of fell asleep. And I keep telling myself I need to go back because it is so ridiculous. Like, I might. You know what? I have a fun weekend plan with attorney Shannon McDonald Goldstein.
- [45:01]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [45:02]
Heather McDonald
And we're gonna have, like, sister slumber time in Laguna for two nights. So I think she's who I need to watch it with. That's what I'm gonna do. But the acting is like.
- [45:14]
Guy Branum
I just wish the writing were a little juicier.
- [45:17]
Heather McDonald
Yeah, well, some of the writing is so ridiculous, and it's so dirty, and it's like, you come bucket. You know, like, things like that.
- [45:26]
Guy Branum
Can I tell you a somewhat juicy story?
- [45:28]
Heather McDonald
Yeah.
- [45:29]
Guy Branum
So my best friend who is a drama writer, was an assistant and a, like, older respected, award winning writer who is friends with Ryan Murphy and everything like that was like, hey, do you. I would love to work with you on your career. Would you like to come to Palm Springs with me? And he was like, no, I will not go to Palm Springs with you, because he understood what was being offered. And then after this guy had moved along from my friend, he moved along to another guy who said yes, and who is the creator of All's Fair along with him and Ryan Murphy and was the creator of one season spectacular, Dr. Odyssey. And it is just like, the question is, like, as we have a larger conversation about, you know.
- [46:17]
Transactional sex in this business, it is, what do we do about the people who made it work for them?
- [46:23]
Heather McDonald
And what do we do about the people that. That are open up their phone to the deadline article and regret that they didn't hop in their car and go down the tent for two hours?
- [46:34]
Guy Branum
And. And the thing is, is the thing is, is let me say a couple of things. I don't know that any of this is true. I am just reporting rumors. Allegedly, allegedly. These are rumors that I have heard. But also, and more importantly, I'm not criticizing anyone for transactional sex. I think that that's an important and beautiful part of the queer community. I just wish that he were a better writer.
- [46:56]
Heather McDonald
Wow. Well, I invite people to my house, which is basically Palm Springs, and it's not gonna help anyone's career. Yes, we are gonna go. We are gonna get drunk. We are gonna go dance at the Nest. We are gonna have a cute lunch on El Paseo and that. And we're gonna float in the pool and watch All's Fair on the outdoor tv. That's what's happening at my house. Just speaking of, this is kind of funny. This just came from tmz. Zach woods hilarious rant he did about Quentin Tarantino. Did you see it?
- [47:27]
Guy Branum
Yes. But he has just been like, left and right, killing it. His thing about the Riyadh Comedy Festival was so funny. I actually saw him. I was at the Americana scene.
- [47:35]
Heather McDonald
He's a comedian and an actor.
- [47:37]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [47:37]
Heather McDonald
Okay.
- [47:37]
Guy Branum
I saw him at the Americana and like, he was coming out of the bathroom and everyone was high fiving him because he had just done a video making fun of the people who were going to the Riyadh Comedy Festival. So, like, his, his Instagram is really the place to be.
- [47:50]
Heather McDonald
So basically, Quentin Tarantino went, I believe, on Howard Stern and again minimized Roman Polanski, who was convicted of full essay, a 13 year old girl. And hence why he lives in Romania or wherever he is.
- [48:11]
Guy Branum
France, I think. What is he in France? Yes.
- [48:14]
Heather McDonald
And just, you know, and he basically was like, well, I mean, it was. Yeah, it was, it was consensual, but she was 13. Whatever he says he did, he downplayed it somehow. So then he went off of him and he basically, in my opinion, without saying P. Diddy, but it reminded me that Quentin Tarantino is a little P. Diddy ish in that he puts himself in his films and nobody wants to see him in his films and nobody wants to see, you know, until he criticizes his. But he's so eloquent in his snark and his way. It's pretty brilliant.
- [48:45]
Guy Branum
But I don't understand him coming. What did Paul Dano do to him? Like, people were saying, like, oh, he must have just said Paul Dano must have turned down one of his movies or something. But him being so emphatic that Paul Dano is the worst actor working is just such a.
- [48:58]
Heather McDonald
That's what Quentin Tarantino said.
- [48:59]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [49:00]
Heather McDonald
Yes. Yeah, it was weird. It was weird. He's, you know, people are weird with everybody on podcasts. Everyone is just getting themselves in trouble.
- [49:07]
Guy Branum
Okay. I didn't hear about the Roman plans and stuff, and I was like, it was like, oh, if Quentin Tarantino is going to, like, do something stupid, at least this is like him beefing with some, you know, some actor and not him doing something like, actively terrible and creepy.
- [49:22]
Heather McDonald
I mean, he's. Yes, he's. He's. Maybe that could, that could have been an older conversation about Roman Polanski.
- [49:28]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [49:28]
Heather McDonald
But I just remember it. So I'm just trying to put it together. Jen Shaw is out of prison. She was a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. She did a. An elderly scam, vulnerable people scam. And Andy Cohen has emphatically said on his shows she will not be back on the Housewives. And people are like, my God. You know, we've had other criminals and the housewives, multiple arrests, DUIs, you know, Teresa Giudice, all this other stuff. Why wouldn't she come back? And people also think it might be because Andy recently was a victim of a crime.
- [50:06]
Guy Branum
Oh, what was the crime?
- [50:07]
Heather McDonald
He went on the Today show to warn.
- [50:10]
It was pretty interesting. He lost his bank card. He got a call saying, like, you know, this is the bank and all the things. But.
- [50:23]
It'S so sophisticated now, like, that even the person then calls back the next day and says, just know we would never ask for your Apple ID this. That they did successfully get money out of his account. And he's like, I've warned my own parents about this stuff. I feel like, how could I have fallen for it, too? But so basically he was like, if anything ever happens, if your bank ever calls.
- [50:46]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [50:47]
Heather McDonald
And you've, like, lost your account, or it's about transferring accounts or reinstating a card, just get in your vehicle and go to your bank. Walk into your bank yourself. And I thought that was really good advice. Hang up the phone and go to the bank.
- [51:01]
Guy Branum
I mean, they are closing all of their local branches. But, I mean, about this, like, I.
- [51:06]
Heather McDonald
Know it is so hard.
- [51:07]
Guy Branum
There is something different between, like, oh, they didn't pay their taxes. Or it was something like that and something that was, like, actively, legitimately predatory. And it's like.
- [51:15]
Heather McDonald
And she was.
- [51:16]
Guy Branum
She was.
- [51:17]
Heather McDonald
I'm not looking to have her come back on anything myself.
- [51:19]
Guy Branum
Yeah, yeah, look, she was good tv.
- [51:23]
Heather McDonald
I didn't like her screaming and her weirdness. So I don't miss her on the show. I think this shows. The cast is great right now, so I don't want her to see her back when she'd go on like, traitors or something.
- [51:32]
Guy Branum
I've only seen half of it of season one.
- [51:35]
Heather McDonald
It gets better. You could just pop in right now.
- [51:37]
Guy Branum
No, I have to. I'm a completist.
- [51:39]
Heather McDonald
Okay. Good for you, Meredith. Mark, she's a real housewife and she's now a dj.
- [51:45]
Guy Branum
Oh, thank God.
- [51:46]
Heather McDonald
And I just want to say, with all the. You know, Tom Sandoval is now. He got rid of the karaoke band and he's just doing Vanderpump trivia.
- [51:55]
Guy Branum
Oh, good for him.
- [51:56]
Heather McDonald
And I mean, it's a smart, easy way with a higher profitability. You know, Luann is scaling down her band and she's doing more Q and A with, like, one or two songs. This DJ thing could be the most genius thing we don't know. First of all, she's hearing impaired.
- [52:17]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [52:17]
Heather McDonald
Okay, so we, like, all of a sudden, I just think Brooks or something was like, you should just be a dj, mom, because all you have to do is just pretend. We'll put the track.
- [52:27]
Guy Branum
And also, like, gay guys will be so thrilled. In Charleston, S.C. what else do they have going on?
- [52:33]
Heather McDonald
And it's just a fun dance night of drinks, and you're around people that are familiar with Bravo. It's like going to a sports bar. It's a good idea.
- [52:38]
Guy Branum
It's like, it always makes me sad that James Kennedy was, like, the one person to figure out a lucrative gig from all of those people.
- [52:45]
Heather McDonald
But then he got a little violent with his girlfriend.
- [52:48]
Guy Branum
Oh, that's what I was going to say. That the now Roy James Kennedy should be brought back for the vanderpump with the new class. But not after that. That's not.
- [53:00]
Heather McDonald
No, they're not going to. There's nobody that got a spillover because not even that other guy that was the manager.
- [53:08]
Guy Branum
But you and I need to figure out other. Because they saturate the same areas. You know, everyone's trying to launch an alcohol, and then you have Jen trying to do an elder scam. And that was not the right answer. But we need to figure out those other businesses that these women could go into to, like, really make some money, because it is, to me, sad.
- [53:29]
Heather McDonald
I think DJ is the way to go. DJ is a way to go because there are real DJs that really can do it. But you could fake it. Yeah, you could fake it easier than anything. You could fake it easier than lip syncing. You could fake it easier than podcasting, dancing, writing a book, ghost writing, all of it. There's nothing easier, in my opinion, to fake than the dj.
- [53:49]
Guy Branum
But it is something nice when you have somebody who is, like, a demographically interesting dj. Like, I've always said, the best nights of my life are created by, like, trans male DJs or lesbian DJs who are just like, know when the Fleetwood Mac should come in.
- [54:03]
Heather McDonald
And, you know, I mean, I listen. You know, I saw Kyle Cook from Summer House. I thought he played great music. I was on a high. I had a great time. I think a DJ is a really good time. And I've seen her dj. It'll be like her being like, the rumors about the husband and then, like, it's her voice going over and she's like.
- [54:21]
Guy Branum
But, like, you and I are two of the greatest cultural critics of our time. And I think you and I are able to figure out those jobs that they can do easily. It's like the thing. One of my great observations, if I do say so myself, is that cooking show requires a greater level of sincerity than just about any other job in media. And it really is only the great Valerie Bertinelli who is able to, like, go into and like, pull it off. And I think figuring out the things, like, what could Sonya do that she would be able to, like, just absolutely destroy. And it really is.
- [54:55]
Hard. You know, they used to try to like, these ladies can't host a morning show.
- [54:59]
Heather McDonald
Well, like a drunken moment, falling off of a stool and having Bethany pick you up after you say, I'm gonna. And then you fall off. The. Those moments that make you iconic on a housewife show doesn't make for a 90 minute live show. It's like a completely different thing. So, yeah, you have to figure out what that is. And just a pop in to a fun, like, gay bar and just take a bunch of photos and have your track play and dance around and pretend like you actually know how to, like, screw the things. It's the smartest thing. And she sells caviar.
- [55:35]
Guy Branum
Yeah. Good for her.
- [55:39]
Heather McDonald
I think it's great. And I just love. I love how it came about where she's like. So I was talking to Brooks, my son, and he says, djing is what I should be doing. And I say, you know what? I'm a lawyer, I'm a jeweler, I'm a caviar concierge. And now I'm a dj. Perfect.
- [55:59]
Guy Branum
Brooks was such a great innovation that we went that far into the Real Housewives universe before someone was smart enough to have a teenage gay sign. Like, brilliant.
- [56:07]
Heather McDonald
I've been praying for it.
- [56:08]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [56:09]
Heather McDonald
And it finally. And I've met him in person.
- [56:11]
Guy Branum
Oh, really?
- [56:13]
Heather McDonald
Skin like milk spilling down a peach.
- [56:18]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [56:19]
Heather McDonald
Adorable.
- [56:20]
Guy Branum
Who like, of the famous people. Of the famous gay guys you have met.
- [56:26]
Heather McDonald
Besides you.
- [56:26]
Guy Branum
Yeah. Most thrilled to meet you.
- [56:30]
On whom are your powers most powerful?
- [56:33]
Heather McDonald
Oh, I can't even. Nobody really sticks out.
- [56:37]
Guy Branum
Heather, like, you are adored by many gays. Look, as somebody who is adored by many brunette women, I'm able.
- [56:44]
Heather McDonald
You know, I'm afraid. More afraid that there's one or two out there that I disappointed when they came up to me.
- [56:50]
Guy Branum
I mean. Yes.
- [56:52]
Heather McDonald
Where I wasn't as gracious and lovely and I might have just been like, oh, hi. That was not enough. So that's a problem too.
- [56:59]
Guy Branum
Heather. I don't know that people are showing up for graceful gracious and lovely. Like you might have disappointed on Gracious and lovely, but you're not disappointing on. I have hard takes on popular culture, and that's what I'm showing up for.
- [57:12]
Heather McDonald
Listen, I will talk to you. Last questions. I can dance with you at everything, but also, if I'm waiting in line to get a drink, yes, that's the priority. Just like I'm waiting to go from the 101 to the 405. I really don't want you cutting in front of me. I also might cut in front of you and act like I just moved here and I didn't know the freeway was coming. I have a whole back. Cause I do feel guilty about doing it, but sometimes I have to go right to the end. And then I'm like, what? How did this first get here? And then I just get in there.
- [57:40]
Guy Branum
You use action class techniques internally.
- [57:43]
Heather McDonald
And I just had to tell myself like, that is such a dick move, Heather. You don't like it when people do it. Now you're doing it to you. And then I'm like, does this person recognize me in the car? Will they do a TikTok about it?
- [57:52]
Guy Branum
I mean, it is that interesting thing when somebody comes up to your eye and knows who we are. It is that thing of like, I think they are getting a very honest experience and that may not be what they want.
- [58:06]
Heather McDonald
Sometimes it could be the most lovely thing. Sometimes you could be distracted. Sometimes you think you gave them a lot, but it wasn't enough. Because all of a sudden something pops up and you see a comment. You're like, I do remember meeting you. I thought it was nice. I'm sorry, it wasn't nice enough. And then you have to be like, I can't please everybody.
- [58:26]
Vanderpump rules. Talked a little bit about that.
- [58:30]
On one report. I heard that it was the highest rated show on Peacock. The day after which you have to watch the Bravo stuff. The day after on Peacock. But then there was another report saying that people who actually watched it on Bravo as it came out, that the numbers were extremely low. But a lot of people don't have Bravo anymore.
- [58:49]
Guy Branum
I worry that there are no stars. I worry. And the thing is, for a show like this is like, it takes some time for you to build up and actually get to know who the people are. Yeah, they're working off of the structures of the original show very significantly. You know, I. I like that this time, like the, the Tom, the. The beta model is the one who is the Jax. But it's like, ultimately The. The collection of mental illnesses that is Jax Taylor is, you know, lightning in a bottle. How are you?
- [59:19]
Heather McDonald
No, he's not coming back to the Valley. It's gonna happen. He's. He lost the restaurant.
- [59:26]
Guy Branum
Oh, really? That's sad.
- [59:27]
Heather McDonald
Not part of the restaurant. I don't know if he's still doing his Mind of a Man whatever podcast.
- [59:34]
Guy Branum
I mean, he's not a stable person.
- [59:35]
Heather McDonald
But, like, hopefully he'll get stable and then he can make some appearances as co parent back on the show. Just because I want him to make an income for Britney.
- [59:42]
Guy Branum
I mean, Britney has some commercials out.
- [59:45]
Heather McDonald
Oh, Brittney's doing great.
- [59:46]
Guy Branum
Yes. But, like, ultimately, I think the real question is it's about tendons. It's about connective tissues. It's about Shana Shay. And the thing is, like, at this point in time, a couple of episodes in, I don't know which of those people would have the capacities of a Shina Shay to, like, keep the story going and shift from every part that you need to in it. Like, it's weird that we're back at a point in time where they're pretending that they care about their music and they're modeling and everything like that. Also, I gotta say, like. Like, it's like it's the year of our Lord 2025, and it's real white and like, at least original Vanderpump had like 17 people who you found out were Latino three seasons in.
- [60:30]
Heather McDonald
Do you think? I agree with that. All that. I love that. Three seasons in.
- [60:36]
Should Sheena Shay, for her mental health, should she watch this. Should she not watch this show where she was the person that made the show exist because she was having the affair with. Had an affair with Brandi Glanville's husband. And that was where the spinoff happened and she chose not to do the Valley. And now people are saying, who's the Sheena Shay? How do you think she should conduct her life?
- [61:06]
Guy Branum
Okay. In the song I Enjoy being a Girl from Flowerdrome song, there is a lyric like, a filly who is ready for the race. And Shina Shay, Ethan has always been a filly who is ready for the race. And the thing is, there are times when that becomes sad. Like when she is talking about how much she wants to do Dancing with the Stars, and we feel sad for her that Ariana gets it and Ariana doesn't really care. The thing is, as someone, as an outsider and an older person, I'm able to look at Shina Shay and be like, baby, you're gonna be Doing this forever. You are like, this is a marathon for you. This is not a sprint. And these children may be on a television show for a season or two, but, like, the traitors will come for you, young lady. I mean, watching Rachel Zoe walk into real housewives of Beverly Hills, I was just like a course, you know, like, this is. This fits.
- [61:54]
Heather McDonald
This works in a cath town. I die. Yes, I die.
- [61:58]
Guy Branum
And like Sheena, like, there will always be a place for her. There will always be things for her to do. And I know that, like, the immediacies of where is my income right now is a thing. And I also understand the like, God, but I want to be doing my craft, you know? And I think Shinashey is the rare person for whom this is a fucking craft, you know?
- [62:18]
Heather McDonald
I know. That's why she's got to.
- [62:21]
Something else has got to come for her. Let's talk about the story that has everyone talking. Did you watch any of this rivalry? Yes, I did.
- [62:30]
Guy Branum
What did you think?
- [62:31]
Heather McDonald
I did the cliff dope version in which I went to TikTok and I typed it in because I knew I just wanted to get to the steamy parts.
- [62:38]
Guy Branum
It's almost all steamy parts.
- [62:40]
Heather McDonald
Heated rivalry is based on a book. And for the people that read the book, they're extremely pleased with this adaptation.
- [62:46]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [62:47]
Heather McDonald
And it is an incredible idea for a show and a book which is. It's two rival hockey players who end up falling in love. So it's a gay romance with sports and with incredible chemistry, directing that has. No matter what your sexuality is, you're like, what does this mean? I am. It's very juicy. And there's just juicy stuff that happens in the story.
- [63:18]
Guy Branum
Well, okay, so I've always been very weirded out by the fact that so many of the YA gay romances and so many of the, like, respectable literary fiction about gay men comes from female writers and frequently straight female writers. And I felt weird about it, but then Jennifer Weiner, who wrote like, in your shoes and stuff like that, she did a thing on her substack where she was like, 90% of stuff. That's like 90% of readers are women. Like, women read books. And so this stuff is gonna be from women for women and like in Japan, making kind of like gay porny, like anime or like comic books. Manga for women has been something that's been going on for years. So, like, it can be very female.
- [63:58]
Heather McDonald
So wait, did a woman write this or not?
- [64:00]
Guy Branum
Yes, A bisexual woman wrote the book. But then the showrunner is A comedy guy, a gay comedy guy who made the show Letterkenny, which is not for you, but is very, very funny. Okay. And in this other show, Schorzy. So, like, also, I think having a comedy person be in charge of it, you don't get some of the, like, schmaltzier sentimentality you can get from things like this. And it really is, like, fun and poppy and good. But, like, what level of sexiness did you see? Did you see. Did you see the whole touching?
- [64:33]
Heather McDonald
No, because I don't think they can show that on TikTok.
- [64:35]
Guy Branum
Okay. So, like, there's.
- [64:36]
Heather McDonald
I felt like I. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Just even watching the Tiktoks, I felt like I needed to, like, go to confession. But I kept seeing arched back.
- [64:46]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [64:46]
Heather McDonald
And then I kept looking for the arched back scene. And I guess on TikTok, that's too sexy to show.
- [64:52]
Guy Branum
Well, and then also there is, like a really good, like, on the face of the bottom when he is being entered. That is, like, good. And there's been some controversy because, like, neither of these actors have talked publicly about their sexuality. And the showrunner, who is gay has been like, you don't have the right to ask about that. How do you feel about that?
- [65:11]
Heather McDonald
Well, I saw some interviews with the two of them.
- [65:12]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [65:13]
Heather McDonald
So they're accent free in that. Because one guy's playing a Russian and he's not Russian.
- [65:17]
Monet X Change
Yes.
- [65:18]
Heather McDonald
And they got these match sort of matching tattoos.
- [65:21]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [65:22]
Heather McDonald
And the tattoos are awful, by the way. One, the one who plays the Russian, it's a heart. Looks like I drew it with a pen. A heart on his calf that says sex cells. And then the other one with the dark hair, he has sex cells just written on his thigh. And they come off honestly, just like. They're really good friends.
- [65:44]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [65:45]
Heather McDonald
I believe if they're not gay, they're definitely bi or they enjoyed these acting scenes.
- [65:51]
So does this. Will this have another season?
- [65:55]
Guy Branum
I don't know, because they're going through time very, very quickly. It starts out in 2012. We're going through years, and so I don't know.
- [66:04]
Heather McDonald
You're like, why didn't we milk this out?
- [66:06]
Guy Branum
Right. Okay, but here's the thing.
- [66:07]
Heather McDonald
It's could have been so good. Like, one gets married, one has a kid.
- [66:11]
Guy Branum
It was made for Crave, which is a Canadian cable network. And this is my important. I forget whether I said this about Hunting Wives, but Hunting Wives made us realize that the point of Netflix was to allow us to watch a star's original series without feeling guilt about it. And HBO has followed suit by letting us watch a fucking crave show and treat it like it's hbo, you know?
- [66:33]
Heather McDonald
Absolutely. Cause I was kind of like, okay. And I knew we wanted that we wanted to talk about it. And so I was like. I felt like, oh, my God, I have a test tomorrow, and I didn't do my homework. So I got the Cliff Notes, which is TikTok, Heather. And I definitely get the vibe of it, and I definitely appreciate. And the people talking about how sexy it was.
- [66:52]
Guy Branum
Was women like, yes. But the thing is, Heather, I would say, do yourself a favor. Wait until Peter and the boys are out of the house. Watch an episode. Like, really?
- [67:00]
Heather McDonald
Oh, I am.
- [67:01]
Guy Branum
Because it really is. My friend riri made the point that, like, with a show, the question is always, like, how much horny can you have? And this. She called this as, like, 62% of scenes are horniness. Like, where. Oh. And also the best part is the villain is the mom. Like, it understands fundamentally that the villain in a gay story is the mom who is, like, trying to make her son be all about his endorsements and is going to be, like, upset, but then fundamentally understanding. I'm sure when her son comes out of the closet to her.
- [67:31]
Heather McDonald
I'm excited.
- [67:33]
By the way, this might be the time that, in case anyone didn't know, I am related to a very famous hockey player.
- [67:38]
Guy Branum
Oh, really?
- [67:39]
Heather McDonald
Yes, I am.
- [67:40]
Guy Branum
Who?
- [67:41]
Heather McDonald
Charles McAvoy of the Boston Bruins.
- [67:45]
Guy Branum
How is he related to you?
- [67:46]
Heather McDonald
He's my cousin.
- [67:47]
Guy Branum
Oh, that's amazing, Heather. How did this never come up? I've known you for 19 goddamn years.
- [67:52]
Heather McDonald
Because I don't want to be that braggy girl, but no, his dad.
- [67:57]
Guy Branum
I know that your brother dated Penelope Spiras.
- [68:02]
Heather McDonald
Famous comedy director. That is true, too. No. So his dad is my first cousin.
- [68:08]
Guy Branum
Oh, wonderful.
- [68:09]
Heather McDonald
So his grandma and my dad were brother sisters.
- [68:11]
Guy Branum
But I need to tell you, in the third episode, they do. They go to two completely different characters who I think are two different books where it's just a different closeted guy in hockey who goes to this barista and falls in love with him. And then the barista is like, oh, I'm dating a famous closeted person. Can I handle this? And it's really sweet.
- [68:32]
Heather McDonald
The barista scene I saw where they're like, girl, that's cute.
- [68:35]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [68:36]
Heather McDonald
Okay, so you guys, that's what you're gonna watch. How do you feel about Pamela Anderson on her year of happy surprises of no makeup and letting your hair go this auburn, curly Style.
- [68:47]
Guy Branum
I love it. And I think that she is a uniquely placed person. Okay. I do have to tell you, I have a weird opinion and energy about people who leveraged hotness to become famous, and then as they get older, are like, it's not all about hotness. And I am sort of like, well, that. That. That was what we bought you for. That is how you marketed yourself. And now you're weird and mad that things are different. But also, she was just so good in the Naked Gun, and she really is. Like, part of her has always been boobs and hotness, but also part of her has always been this extreme sincerity and Canadianness.
- [69:25]
Heather McDonald
And so it's funny that you said that, because I was with my friend Jacques, who was on the show Tuesday, and he's obsessed with this too, and he had a similar take to yours.
- [69:34]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [69:35]
Heather McDonald
And I was like, well, first of all, she's doing it for a movie, and she's utilizing the skincare partnership and the. She has a hair product and doesn't mean she's gonna be this redhead forever. It's obviously not as attractive as if she went blonde. I don't think you need to get a facelift and all that stuff, but I do think you need to have hair and a look that makes you look the best without plastic surgery is personally my. But I get it. But I will say her whole thing with Liam Neesom, because first when it happened that they were a couple and talking about it, I was like, this is amazing. They each have two boys. And then I was like, wait, was this bullshit for the show? And so in this article on people, she finally says the truth.
- [70:19]
Guy Branum
Which is what?
- [70:21]
Heather McDonald
Which was we were just friends. We hung out one weekend. It sounds like that one weekend they did fuck. And she's like, I pruned his garden, and we had one little romance. And then we, you know, decided we were just gonna be friends after that. And then the press happened, so they didn't do anything while they were filming. They had their one little rendezvous weekend or week, decided they would just be friends. He, you know, he's still significantly older than her. He's like 70, and she's 56 or something. And then. Or 58. And then. And then. So then they played along that it was still happening for the camera. So it was like a half lie.
- [71:03]
Guy Branum
I like that we still live in a Hollywood that is capable of telling us lies, you know, like, it's very golden age. And I have to say, the color on that sweater is doing so much work in that Photo. It does look really good. Yeah.
- [71:15]
Heather McDonald
Cause she has beautiful natural blue eyes. She was. The reason she. I always say this became so famous, I think, is because it was a time, same with Farrah Fawcett, where you couldn't just create big teeth.
- [71:28]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [71:28]
Heather McDonald
And. Or full lips. So if you came out of the womb and you had a fucking killer smile.
- [71:34]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [71:35]
Heather McDonald
You had a chance to jump ahead of other very talented people that didn't have that good of a smile. And she had a perfect nose, perfect lips, perfect smile. Without plastic surgery, at a time when not everyone could look like Pamela Anderson.
- [71:48]
Guy Branum
I get annoyed when people who are already very famous then go like, yay, body positivity. I love my curves. And there's one particular person who I'm like, yes. But you only got to be this level of famous because you were hotter than I am.
- [72:05]
Heather McDonald
You'll have to tell me after.
- [72:06]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [72:06]
Heather McDonald
Well, speaking of which, you know, what's her name? Kate Winslet is angry that, why can't we just age naturally and this and that. And I wanna say you can.
- [72:19]
Guy Branum
Emma Thompson. Emma Thompson. You've been in lots of movies with her. Have you seen her recently?
- [72:24]
Heather McDonald
Yeah. And what's great is if you wanna go that route, you should. You should get all the movie roles. And if you care more about waking up in the morning and not having a wrinkly forehead, get your Botox. And maybe you won't have all those roles. And the fact that Nicole Kidman can have both. Don't be jealous.
- [72:43]
Guy Branum
I mean, I also think it's really hard. She got torn apart. Like, torn apart for her body. After who?
- [72:50]
Heather McDonald
Kate Winslet.
- [72:50]
Guy Branum
Kate Winslet for what? People called her fat after Titanic. And, like, that was so.
- [72:57]
Heather McDonald
She was so not never.
- [72:59]
Guy Branum
The 90s were horrible. Yes.
- [73:02]
Heather McDonald
And early 2000s. Remember when they all thought Jessica Simpson was obese? Cause she Wore A size 4.
- [73:07]
Guy Branum
Jean.
- [73:09]
John Kerry's wife called Catherine Zeta Jones fat in Chicago.
- [73:16]
Heather McDonald
John Kerry, the president? Oh, my God.
- [73:19]
Guy Branum
No. Like, it's truly insane what people did. And so I understand the mind fuck about it.
- [73:25]
Heather McDonald
Well, did you see. You watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, right?
- [73:28]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [73:28]
Heather McDonald
Did you catch the snark remark? I don't like it. That Erika Jayne said about Sutton.
- [73:33]
Guy Branum
No. What did she say?
- [73:36]
Heather McDonald
Bose was like, I don't know about Sutton. You know, slim. She said something like Slim Sutton or something like Slim Shady. She means something like slim. And Erica goes more like box. Because that's how she doesn't think that she has, like, an hourglass figure or whatever.
- [73:52]
Guy Branum
But also like in Erika, we know.
- [73:54]
Heather McDonald
Where you've been on Ozempic for 4 years and you can stay on it for the rest of your life. And you slim down after, you know, you don't hit menopause and then suddenly have a skinnier body than you ever did. Which is why they are great. Yes, but then don't. No matter whether you're on it or not. It's just a rude thing to say.
- [74:15]
Guy Branum
Because, you know, the people getting on GLP1 drugs who were previously fat and talked with pride about it and then now are sort of like, I was a terrible person before. Now I've got it all figured out. It's like, no, now you are paying money for a hormone to help you out. Like, please don't be critical of other people who aren't in the same situation as you. I'm talking about Lizzo.
- [74:35]
Heather McDonald
How do you feel about Melissa McCarthy?
- [74:37]
Guy Branum
Oh, I mean, it's like. I think. Well, it's interesting because I was like, there are these Gen X energies of, like, be authentic. Be who you are. But then there are, like, the trans community has done so much to, like, open us up to the idea of, like, being who you want to be is your own authenticity. And, like, as somebody who likes has broken a fair number of chairs in my life and frequently goes to situations where my body doesn't fit into them. The thing that happened to me on the plane, I don't begrudge anyone doing anything. To be able to move through this world a little bit easier, to be able to fit into clothes a little bit easier. Good for you.
- [75:10]
Heather McDonald
You know, I totally agree. And you're right. Why is it that we don't have a problem if someone wants to change their whole sexual identity?
- [75:20]
Guy Branum
Well, those people do run into some problems.
- [75:23]
Heather McDonald
Well, they do. But I'm saying, like, the same people that are embracing same hypocrisy, same people that are like, you go, you know, girl. Are like, oh, please, she took a shot.
- [75:34]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [75:35]
Heather McDonald
It's like, everyone has an opinion.
- [75:36]
Guy Branum
It's because people love to moralize about fatness, and people love to believe that their own lack of fatness is because they are a virtuous person. And I did it the right way by being sensible. She's just taking a shot. And it's like, in All About My Mother, the Pedro Almodovar film, there's a moment where one of the trans characters says, I think the more you are the person you imagine yourself to be, the more authentic you are. And I think that that's A beautiful idea.
- [76:01]
Heather McDonald
Yeah. And I really think that, you know, the fact that people that struggled their whole life and was seen even as this castable character.
- [76:10]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [76:11]
Heather McDonald
Because of their body type.
- [76:13]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [76:13]
Heather McDonald
And now that is no longer them. But they look great in a catsuit and can like. I think that's fascinating and I think it's very interesting to hear people that are now, you know, a completely different look and it's attainable and it didn't take surgery and it's not them weighing their chicken.
- [76:36]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [76:36]
Heather McDonald
And things like that. And so. But I said, like, I. That's going to be interesting what it's like for them to now this new life that they have. And I just saw they're doing a show. Are you somebody that lost an enormous amount of weight and are now getting ready to date? Oh, and how that would be, you know, kind of like after the Biggest Loser kind of a life where you're gonna most likely stay this.
- [77:02]
Guy Branum
I thought you were gonna say it was people who were having to like, go through obstacle courses to win skin removal surgery. That's the show that I wanna say.
- [77:14]
Heather McDonald
Oh, my God, that is so good.
- [77:16]
Guy Branum
Kate Winslet, I mean, she's like hitting that point. I mean, Goldie Hawn said it in First Wives Club. They're you're hot piece of ass da or driving to Stacy. Those are the three ages that a woman can be. And like, she is running into a point where I'm sure that there are fewer roles for her, like fewer exciting things for her to do. And that's hard. And it is sort of this pressure.
- [77:41]
Heather McDonald
But you should embrace that too. I mean, you know, Reese Witherspoon cried about it and she bought foreign production company in which she bought all the best books.
- [77:51]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [77:52]
Heather McDonald
So she can either produce it, be in it, whatever. It's true. It's like life changes and no one is guaranteed anything. And to hear like big stars, boo hoo about it, whether you're a woman or a man or, you know, I'm thin now and now I'm not getting the roles. Or. Or I'm this size and now I'm not getting the. Or I'm white now I'm not getting the roles. Or I'm black, I'm not getting the roles. It's like nobody wants to hear you bitch about that. It's like no one feels sorry for you.
- [78:15]
Guy Branum
There is also the thing of, like, to what extent am I expected to manipulate my body to continue to do this craft that I do is something that is weird. Like, you Know, it is like.
- [78:28]
So many of the women 50 or older, like, you know, have had stuff done to keep going. And it is also weird because it also makes them kind of, to some extent, not look like most women their age in America. And, you know, I think that that.
- [78:48]
Is interesting. Or, like, when it comes to a.
- [78:51]
Heather McDonald
Lot of stars, when they're playing the role, they let the Botox and everything deplete. They play the role where they're like, I'm gonna get you, little lady. You know, and then they get the Oscar nod, and they plan it out, inject me three to four weeks before the Oscars. I'm not gonna drink. I'm gonna do the shot. And then they look great on the red carpet. And I think that's perfect. That's having the best of both worlds.
- [79:20]
Guy Branum
There are times when we went to Australia with Chelsea lately, I remember seeing women in their 50s and 60s who were healthy and athletic and had not had work done and had their natural color of hair and was, like, really inspiring and beautiful. But, like, ultimately, we are Angelenos, and we are used to, you know, people getting a little here and a little there.
- [79:39]
Heather McDonald
I like a little here and a little there. Yeah, I color my hair. I, you know, wear makeup. I like to look as cute as I can for as long as I can.
- [79:52]
Guy Branum
And how many potions are you putting in your morning beverages? Are you ever. Are we taking any collagen peptides? Are we taking.
- [79:59]
Heather McDonald
I am, bub. I believe they're our sponsor. And I just started. I'm very. I'm very. I don't do. I haven't done any of the hormones and the pellets and all that stuff.
- [80:09]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [80:10]
Heather McDonald
Though I'm freaked out that I haven't. Cause everyone says I'm insane not to. So I've had a very. Not a horrible time with it all.
- [80:18]
Guy Branum
Heather, I just realized the greatest part.
- [80:19]
Heather McDonald
Of getting older is not getting your period. If you had something five days a month for the last 40 years of your life, it is the greatest thing.
- [80:29]
Guy Branum
It is just such testament to the fact that you and I don't talk to each other enough. Like, when we talk, we have things to talk about that I was like, God, I have no idea where Heather is on that journey.
- [80:41]
Heather McDonald
The journey is pretty great. It hasn't been too bad.
- [80:48]
You know, just the cost of tampons. Not having a tampon.
- [80:55]
Being with your kids and having them say, what's wrong? And then Brandon. And I'm like, drake, I just need to get a tampon and Brandon being literally like, what's a tampon? And then Brandon Drake being like, it's like a band aid for your vagina.
- [81:10]
And I'm like, watch your brother. Cause I need to run to the bathroom. Like all those times like it's such a fucking nightmare and guys will never understand it of what it does and that it's embarrassing. God forbid it like shows in your clothes and someone has to tell you and you're embarrassed. Embarrassed of what? Embarrassed that you're fucking have a uterus. Like there's nothing to be embarrassed of.
- [81:34]
Guy Branum
Two things. The Seinfeld. But we do that. Seinfeld had a bit about making fun of detergent commercials that say getting out bloodstains and like, who has blood stains? Are you a murderer? It's like, like Jerry Seinfeld. Do you never talk to your girlfriend? Do you have no idea? And then a joke I tried to work out forever is how much I loved that. Like women being embarrassed of sanitary products turned them all into close magicians. Just in high school, every like girl, I used to be like, is this your tampon? Like just sort of the like, you know, the like.
- [82:10]
Heather McDonald
No, it'd be like, are you packing?
- [82:11]
Guy Branum
Yes.
- [82:12]
Heather McDonald
Which does not need a handgun.
- [82:16]
The amount of times you have to. Like I had to make a thing of tissue and you know.
- [82:23]
It'S crazy that it's not free.
- [82:26]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [82:26]
Heather McDonald
It's crazy that there isn't some program that if you. I mean, I think if you go to places. I don't know. I don't even know. I don't even know what people do that can't afford it because it's fucking expensive.
- [82:39]
Guy Branum
Yeah.
- [82:39]
Heather McDonald
And. And when I run for president.
- [82:43]
There is gonna be free sanitary napkins everywhere. There'd be times where you. If you didn't have a quarter to put it in the machine. Too fucking bad.
- [82:54]
Guy Branum
Heather, I just wanna say if in the next election head of running, like no, no, no, I'm saying, I'm saying like.
- [83:03]
Ladies and gay guys who watch too much reality television are suddenly the demo to go after and you are the next Call me daddy. Who has to interview the presidential candidates. I will be very excited, but I will call her and say, you have to ask a hard hitting question. If you have them on. You have to ask one hard hitting question. If you have them all.
- [83:26]
Heather McDonald
I'll just have big cards and I'll be like, so you were a girl Scout.
- [83:33]
And you sold the least amount of cookies. Tell me a little bit about that. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm in awe. Wait, stop. You only sold three boxes.
- [83:48]
What made you keep going in the fifth grade? See, is that a good hard hitting question?
- [83:52]
Guy Branum
No.
- [83:53]
Heather McDonald
Oh.
- [83:55]
Listen, we're gonna tell everybody where they can find Guy Branum's live show. Say it again. You said it before. Say it again.
- [84:03]
Guy Branum
So yeah, I'm doing Be fruitful. When does this come out? Tomorrow. Oh, okay, Thursday. So on Sunday, December 14, I'm doing it in LA at the Lair Hyperion and then I'm doing it Philly Mocha on December 17th at Union Stage in D.C. on December 18th. And then December 19th, second show. Cause I sold out my first show at Union hall in Brooklyn. So come to my show. It's very, very funny and all the emotions.
- [84:32]
Heather McDonald
So funny, so smart and just a good time and a loving person.
- [84:37]
Guy Branum
Thanks so much. Oh, and please follow me on Instagram. I'm GuyBranham and TikTokuyeBranumComedy. So you can see what the old gays remember that Heather hasn't watched yet. But Heather, you are the inspiration for it in so many ways.
- [84:51]
Heather McDonald
I did see that you hit 100,000 followers and that's because when you found out. Maybe I should put a little more effort into this thing called Instagram.
- [85:00]
Guy Branum
Yes, you took off. Yep.
- [85:02]
Heather McDonald
That's why. That's what I like about you. You set your sights on something and no very, very funny content. Please follow Guy Brannan. Of course. For me. Heathermcdonald.net thank you for my Patreon and everything else. Happy Merry Christmas. Bye. Introducing your new Dell PC with the Intel Core Ultra processor. It helps you handle a lot. Even when your holiday to do list gets to be a lot like organizing your holiday shopping and searching for great holiday deals and customer questions and customers requesting custom things. Ugh. Luckily you can get a PC with all day battery life to help you get it all done. That's the power of a Dell PC with Intel inside, backed by Dell's price match guarantee. Get yours before the holidays@dell.com.
- [85:57]
Terms and conditions apply. See dell.com for details.
- [86:04]
Monet X Change
All right, y' all gather round because Monet X change from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now listen, the girls over at Google said Monet tell the children. So I'm telling you, us college students get Google Gemini's pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation, uploading A photo of your homework to ask for help or transcribing notes from a lecture you missed. Gemini 3 Pro can help. And baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it Monet X changed in the library. Uploading picture of my music theory homework. Like Gemini, please help a diva out. Or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying in the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's Most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro. Unlimited image uploads, pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs. Two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me. Two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look and every photo your honor sends you of her plants. Visit Gemini Google students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.
- [87:29]
Heather McDonald
Based on the worldwide best selling novel Millie's gonna be living with us. She's gonna be part of the family. Can you. I need this job. I can't lose it. I do not wanna go back. Keep a secret. What do you know about this family? I know you shouldn't be here. The Housemaid only in theaters December 19th. Rated R Limu E and Doug Here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car ins and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera.
- [88:04]
Guy Branum
They see us.
- [88:05]
Heather McDonald
Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.
- [88:09]
Guy Branum
Liberty Savings vary underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.