Chris Franjola on Lamar Odom, Saint Khloe and Kanye

Summary

Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

Episode: Chris Franjola on Lamar Odom, Saint Khloe and Kanye

Date: April 9, 2026

Host: Heather McDonald, Guest: Chris Franjola

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Overview

In this lively, comedic episode, Heather welcomes friend and fellow comedian Chris Franjola. Together, they do a deep dive into recent pop culture hot topics: the pitfalls of standup-based movies, the new Lamar Odom documentary (with plenty of Kardashian tea), Kanye West’s latest dramas (including his canceled UK festival and the question: can anyone really be canceled?), and much more from celebrity news to OnlyFans oddities, rumors around stars like Pedro Pascal, and bizarre private school lawsuits. All delivered with irreverent wit, personal tangents, and the Juicy Scoop tone fans love.

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1. The “Is This Thing On?” Movie Debate

(01:52 – 14:53)

- Chris’s Movie Recommendation Gone Awry

• Heather confronts Chris about recommending the film Is This Thing On?, which she strongly disliked. She speculates Chris only liked it because he watched it alone, on the road, at 11 AM with a 7-Eleven coffee (04:46).
  • Notable quote – Heather (04:54):
    “You know, watching a movie about stand-up while you’re doing stand-up, maybe you’re in a more emotional place… and it tricks you into thinking I think everyone would enjoy this movie. And you are wrong.”
• Chris admits Heather’s psychoanalysis is spot-on:
  • Chris (05:15): “I had been in a casino for three days… Coffee, you got it. Nailed it.”
• They discuss the perils of recommending movies to friends and the “codependency” when someone doesn’t vibe with your taste (06:40).
• Why standup-based shows and movies rarely work:
  • “Nobody cares about how a joke was made. Nobody cares. Except another comedian.” – Heather (08:43)
• Both roast the unrealistic, self-indulgent tropes of these films: finance bro tries standup, everyone’s instantly supportive, and “no one gets booed off stage in the movies.”
  • Chris (13:21): “Nobody’s sitting there letting a guy work it out … if you’re not great for every second on stage, the audience will turn on you immediately.”
• Heather (08:09): “I told my husband, let’s watch it. Chris Franjola said it was good… now you guys, just please don’t go after [him].”
• They agree, non-comedians find “the story behind the bit” boring, and it’s a common Hollywood mistake.

- New Movie Challenge

• Chris recommends Blue Moon with Ethan Hawke, warning Heather will probably hate that too (18:30).
  • “I loved it. Called Blue Moon. Ethan Hawke plays like this weird playwright… I watched it on a plane.” – Chris (18:30)

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2. The Lamar Odom Documentary & Saint Khloe

(25:43 – 44:38)

- Recapping the Doc and Kardashian History

• Heather breaks down Lamar Odom’s new documentary:
  • “It’s really about his sports… but I just want to say Khloe Kardashian, Saint Khloe, patron saint of cheating addict exes—that is what she is going to be known as when she gets sainted.” (25:55)
• They reminisce about the whirlwind Kardashian-Lakers days, Khloe’s instant whirlwind romance, and the reasons for their quickie wedding.
• Heather offers behind-the-scenes insight from her own memories and social circles, including how Kris Jenner capitalized on the marriage (“immediately got a personalized license plate: Laker Mom.” (29:02)).

- Drug Addiction, Infidelity, and the Limits of Forgiveness

• The darker side of Lamar’s story: repeated excuses for bad behavior, the cyclical pattern of “trauma anniversaries,” and Khloe’s incredible, often thankless efforts to help him.
• Heather (34:35): “Like, why is he making—again, if you’re gonna cheat and do all this, could you do it in Encino? Why do I have to go to Big Bear?... Everything single thing he did made her life difficult.”
• They debate whether Lamar ever really loved Khloe:
  • Heather (35:39): “I don’t think he loved her… She was a disposable woman in his life… That must have fucked her up more than anything else.”
  • Chris (35:44): “I had a different take… I kind of felt bad for the guy.”
• Khloe’s intervention, the infamous Bunny Ranch overdose, and the media narratives are discussed—especially why Khloe joined the doc (to set the record straight on her choices to restrict visitors when Lamar was hospitalized).

- Most Juicy Details & Quotes

• Heather (38:57): “No, it really wasn’t God. God was inside of Khloe! Okay? The actual person that embodies that—it just pissed me off.”
• Chris’s real-life sightings of Lamar, painting a portrait of a guy who hasn’t exactly found redemption (41:07).
• The doc’s ending: is Lamar really sober, or just moving through life aimlessly?
• Throwback moments: Khloe “throwing a bone” to exes for reality TV scenes, and memories of the bizarre unisex perfume:
  • “What does that smell like? Crack?” (43:10 – Chris)

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3. Kanye West: Cancelled or Uncancellable?

(44:48 – 49:32)

- The Drama Around Kanye’s Concerts

• Kanye sells out two nights at SoFi ($33 million!), including daughter North’s on-stage moment (45:05).
• Withdrawal from UK’s Wireless Festival due to UK outrage over past antisemitic behavior (46:05).
  • Heather: “I think it’s great that they just said, ‘No, we’re not doing it.’ … Men can do awful things and everyone just forgives them… women say one wrong thing and it’s like you’re done forever.” (46:10)
• Reflecting on the reality of cancel culture, why some stars keep bouncing back, and the gender double standard.
• Kanye’s apology (“I regret it… I was in a four month manic episode.” (47:01)), media reactions, and skepticism over sincerity or mental health defense.
  • Heather: “What he did is not a crime, it’s horrible. But I think he has to do a lot more. Like, I think he has to really do an interview and just go… But maybe he’s not. That’s what I think.”
• Lighter moments: reminiscing about kindly “smiley” Kanye back in the day; the controlling weirdness of his relationship with Kim; and the challenge for Kim to co-parent with someone so publicly problematic (51:44).

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4. Celebrity Miscellany: Rumors, Industry Plants, and OnlyFans Oddities

(56:26 – 63:17)

- Pedro Pascal & Rumor Mill

• Quick detour: Is Pedro Pascal gay? Heather and Chris riff on celebrity sexuality rumors and “industry plant” conspiracies.
  • Heather: “The industry is so broad… it’s not three people going, ‘Okay, the person this year is Sydney Sweeney.’”
  • Chris: “She’s a man, baby!” (About Sweeney rumors – 57:18)

- Kristi Noem & OnlyFans Husband

• Political scandal: The governor’s husband caught on OnlyFans with a breast-plate fetish.
  • Chris: “He’s all over OnlyFans … He watches them and then he goes, ‘Hang on, I’m gonna put on my big tits’.” (61:54)
• Both roast the hypocrisy and the oddness—it’s partly a story about double standards and the impossibility of privacy.
• Quote: “You bought this girl’s boob job…you’re helping support single moms on OnlyFans!” – Heather (64:11)

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5. Documentaries, COVID, and Cultural Memory

(64:41 – 68:40)

- The COVID Doc Pitch

• Heather pitches a new angle for a COVID documentary:
  • “I want to hear stories about the COVID divorce. The COVID friendship breakup… the person who discovered their spouse was cheating because there was only one other lady in the whole neighborhood that had Covid.” (65:05 – 66:37)
• Both reminisce about the strange era, shared jokes, and collective exhaustion with pandemic retrospectives.

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6. More Docs Needed: Brothels, Astronauts, and Forgotten Scandals

(70:02 – 76:02)

- Brothels/Legal Sex Work in Nevada

• Still obsessed with the Lamar Odom whorehouse scene, Chris calls for a real doc on Nevada brothels.
• Both marvel at the odd legality and “trailers in the desert” vibe.

- Astronauts, Social Media & Thirst Traps

• Tangent: Female astronaut Christina Koch goes viral for “space thirst traps” – biceps and selfies in zero gravity (74:55).

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7. LA Private School Lawsuit: Water Polo & Negligence

(83:34 – 88:23)

• A Harvard-Westlake water polo star sues the school and his teammate for racial abuse and sexual harassment (“digitally penetrated in the showers”).
  • Chris (86:26): “The hope is that one day my daughter will be digitally penetrated… in a water polo game.”
• Heather’s take: For $52k a year, how can this happen?
  • “That’s why you pay for private school… so your kid does not get harassed and bullied. Like, are you kidding?” (85:12)

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8. Personal Anecdotes: Childhood Rejection & Bullying

(88:47 – 95:41)

• Heather recalls being rejected from cheerleading, the inherent looks-based politics, and “life’s rejection is God’s protection.”
• Chris shares the embarrassment of being sorted to the “losers’ squad” in football (93:27).

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9. Closing: Afterparties, Aging, and the Grind of Comedy

(95:44 – End)

• Chris plugs his upcoming standup shows, lamenting the road grind but taking pride in always meeting fans.
• Heather teases the Netflix is a Joke show and their own potential Hollywood afterparty.
  • “I want it to be like a Hollywood party… paparazzi popping.” – Chris (97:39)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Heather (08:43): “Nobody cares about how a joke was made. Just make us laugh.”
• Chris (13:21): “If you’re not great for every second on stage, the audience will turn on you immediately.”
• Heather (25:55): “Khloe Kardashian, Saint Khloe, patron saint of cheating addict exes…”
• Heather (34:35): “If you’re gonna cheat, could you do it in Encino?”
• Chris (46:30): “Once you start getting into that yes people, I’ve seen yes people ruin so many careers.”
• Heather (46:10): “A lot of people, it’s amazing how many men can do awful things and everyone just forgives them…then other people…say one wrong thing and you’re done forever.”
• Chris (86:26): “The hope is that one day my daughter will be digitally penetrated… in a water polo game.”
• Heather (85:12): “That’s why you pay for private school… so your kid does not get harassed and bullied.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:52 – Movie recommendation fight (Is This Thing On?)
• 25:43 – Breaking down the Lamar Odom doc & Kardashian history
• 44:48 – Kanye West, cancel culture, and North’s performance
• 56:26 – Pedro Pascal / industry plant theories
• 61:54 – Kristi Noem’s husband’s OnlyFans scandal
• 65:05 – Heather’s pitch for a COVID doc
• 70:02 – Nevada brothels / Lamar Odom’s overdose
• 74:55 – Astronaut thirst traps & pop culture observations
• 83:34 – LA water polo lawsuit / private school scandal
• 88:47 – Heather & Chris childhood rejection tales
• 95:44 – Upcoming shows, afterparty banter, closing

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Tone and Style

• The conversation is relaxed, sharp, unfiltered, and deeply pop culture obsessed.
• Heather and Chris blend gossip, personal anecdotes, and biting humor with real empathy (especially about addiction and the complexities around celebrities like Khloe Kardashian).
• Both maintain irreverence even discussing serious topics, keeping the episode light and engaging.

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This summary is designed for listeners who want all the juice, humor, and depth of the conversation, skipping ad reads and maintaining the show’s tone and candid style.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Fandango. People say fans are too distracted these days, but the truth is when a great movie hits the screen, you show up, you stay glued, invested part of the story.

[B]

And without fans like you, there'd be

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And am I doing this right or am I doing this very, very wrong? Our experts have the answers to those questions and many others. Tax Act. Let's get them over with.

[B]

Expedia. Hey you. Whatcha doing? Scrolling doom scrolling looking at other people's vacations. Miami, San Diego, Cancun. Okay, what about you? What places will you go? Expedia is the one place you go to. Go places your trip can earn rewards which you can use towards your next eligible stay. Soon people will be doomscrolling you. You'll be that friend's friend. But with rewards. What are you waiting For? Expedia, the one place you go to. Go places. Terms apply. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales For real life, Mr. Segment, serial data and serial sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in.

[A]

Listen up.

[B]

Whoop whoop. Hannah McDow, juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. You guys are so lucky. We have our absolute favorite, blue eyed, sparkling smile. Dad. Daddy. Husband.

[A]

Some people call me Zaddy.

[B]

You're in the zaddy category, which is an older daddy. Even though you have a young child. Hot wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lovely family. Parents still living. Congrats.

[A]

I saw them last week.

[B]

Good. So we know you have the good genes. You're going to live till you're very, very still living.

[A]

It's. It's on. They were. It's close.

[B]

Christopher and Joel. I don't even need to say your name. I heard your little chuckle and they know they're in for a great show. Star of COVID to Cover podcast.

[A]

Cover to Cover podcast. Come over. Give it a listen.

[B]

Now listen. We had an incident that happened about a week and a half ago involving you and I had to share it with my people, who many. We share many audience members that love us both.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I started to talk about this story on Patreon and whatnot, I started to see the comments. I panicked. And I felt I had to say, stand down, Juicy Scoopers. Stand down. Do not come after Chris Fringe. I appreciate that because Chris was on this show.

[A]

Uhhuh.

[B]

And very confidently told us and me that I would love a movie called Is this Thing On? Okay, wait a minute. All right, I'm just. I'm gonna say my piece and then you're gonna say it.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

So it's about standup. It's about a guy going through a divorce. He's like, it's very relatable. I think you'll like it. And I, you know, I go, okay, fine. So then we're bored one night and we turn the TV and. And I go, oh, this is that movie now. It's free on streamers or whatever, Netflix or whatever it was that Chris said to watch. So we start watching it and I'm like, the text. Immediately, I'm like, no, I waited till the end. I waited till the end of watching it. And I just said, this isn't good. And Drake was there. Drake witnessed your recommendation, as many Juicy Scoopers did. And he's. You sometimes get pissed at people. You're like, why? This is. We will get into why it's bad. Sorry, Will Arnett. It's not like you've had me on smart list that I could give a shit. It wasn't good. And so then I go, drake, you have to understand. I know Chris. Chris is what? I'm guessing. Okay, I am predicting that Chris was on the road for a long, maybe three, four night weekend. He was by himself and he was walking around with a big black coffee. Okay, okay. Not a Starbucks. 7 11.

[A]

7 11.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And he was like, maybe I'll just go see a movie. And he goes to a movie alone at like 11:00am it's an 11:00am movie.

[A]

This is so dead on.

[B]

And he's like, this could be good. I want to just like. I just want to, like, get a cup of coffee, see a movie by myself. And, you know, watching a movie about standup while you're doing stand up, maybe you're in a more emotional place. You're lonely, and it tricks you into thinking, I think everyone would enjoy this movie. And you are wrong. Now explain yourself.

[A]

Okay. I was very excited to come here and. Defend yourself or not defend myself because A, you're 100% right. That was exactly the scenario. I had been in a casino. I was performing in a casino Roar comedy club out there on the east coast. And I was in the casino for three days. Movie theater in the casino. Everything was perfect. 11am, first show, walk down from my room.

[B]

Believe I was right about it.

[A]

Everything was exactly dead on. Coffee. You got it. Nailed it. And then of course I was excited because there was a stand up element to the movie. This is great. Yeah. And then of course, you know, by yourself in a theater you're watching, it hits you differently. It hits you like playing movies hit you differently.

[B]

Exactly. Playing movies definitely hit you differently. I actually have read that something about the evolution. Yeah. What's word evolution? Whatever. Yeah. Elevation sometimes can affect your moods. Also when you're on a plane, you kind of are emotional. You're like, am I? When I land? Like, is my family going to be even alive? Like, you think of all these really bad things. At least I do. And then sometimes if you're in first class, you're maybe drinking a little and you're definitely like less critical of a movie.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

The problem I have is I have extreme, which I didn't even realize what this was until a couple of years. Codependency when I bring someone to either watch something and I think it's good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's not good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm worried about, you know, Drake not enjoying it or even if it's just a half hour show that I'm like, have you seen? And I just can tell the person's like, maybe not a comedian or they're just kind of like, what is this? I. It's bothers me.

[A]

I have it too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whatever that is. And this is why I now go alone to everything. I do not. I know I have weird quirks about certain concerts and movies and I do not subject anyone else to my quirk. I'm even, I'm even nervous about telling, you know, you or somebody. But I don't believe that I said it was that I say you. It's a great movie.

[B]

Yes, you did. I don't know if you said it was a great movie. You said, I think he said you. You said I would like it, that I would like it, that I would enjoy it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was a complete opposite. It like infuriated me.

[A]

And as you guys were texting me, you know, I had forgotten about some of the details of it. You guys were writing me more and more and I'm like, oh, yeah, I did forget about that.

[B]

It was I mean I went off, I wrote him like 30 messages because I was just like, what? What was wrong with it? And I did talk about on my Patreon and people were like, I, I told my husband, let's watch it. Chris Franola said it was good. And I was like, okay, now you guys just please don't go after. Did you get any messages?

[A]

Some people did write me and they say, I think Heather was wrong. It was a good movie.

[B]

Okay, good, good.

[A]

I want to be wrong more than that than less. So yeah, there were some people said I did enjoy it more than, than Heather did. So we got that.

[B]

You know this is what I think, I think it's called.

[A]

Is this thing on? If you guys want to go check it out yourself.

[B]

And this is the reason why when standups get deals to do shows about them, their lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sitcoms, they. We always want to say, well my life is that I go on the road and I'm a standup and oh, this is how this crazy bit happened.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Okay. What I have learned is when people, people like to watch cooking shows because they like to know how did you make that bistro Banoff? Okay. Nobody cares about how a joke was made. Nobody cares. Except another comedian. Nobody cares. Nobody cares that someone stole your bit. Nobody cares. Just make us laugh. If you cry. Someone stole my bit. They're like, you're a fucking rich comedian. You think I give a shit? I didn't think the bit was good. So the part of all so. But people that have never been standups,

[A]

like Bradley Cooper seems.

[B]

Yes. People that are not stand ups, but they love comedy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's their pat. It's like their dream to be a stand up. So they gravitate towards wanting to write a movie about standup. But the circumstances of what happened in the movie are completely unrealistic. Which is Will Arnett is a finance bro. He's a 50 year old successful New York finance guy with a stay at home wife and two kids. She says, I think our marriage is over. And he's like, yeah, okay, no problem. He moves out to an apartment where she can still live a stay at home life. He buys her a beautiful car. He still is an active dad. What scenario is this by the way? Don't know. Still great friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just two people after 30 years together. Like, you know what I was thinking? I think I'd like to get divorced. I'm totally good with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't feel fucked over. I don't feel cheated on. Like let's just. And Let me just keep you in the beautiful house while I drive an hour to pick up the kids for lunch. Then he stumbles in to an open mic and just gets up there.

[A]

And the Comedy Cellar, by the way, which is a place top of the top. You got to be the best of the best.

[B]

The.

[A]

Of the best comedy seller. Yeah.

[B]

And it's always like, I could see how the director's just like, oh, I love the banter of the comedian just giving each other director. I know. And so it's like. And then he plays some weird. Like, it reminds me of, like, struggling actor. Yeah. When someone's just like, I want to play this crazy character that wears a wig. And you're like, what? And then they just, like, create a weird character. And you're like, what was this weird fantasy? Like, his character had nothing to do with the movie. I'm like, if anything, his character, who was like, this struggling actor, should have been, like, kind of jealous of his finance bro friend. And also that these eclectic. That these people at all different walks of life. Conservative finance bro guy, crazy actor, drug druggie guy, Bradley Cooper and then eccentric gay couple. The fact that the six of these people for the last 30 years have gotten together 10 times a year to hang out. No one's ever made other friends that might be more into what they're currently doing. Again, hate that element of a movie. We go to the same lake every year. No, you don't.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

Yeah. I love it. I feel like it's a plotline for a lot of movies where a bunch of adults get a house together.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I would ruin that movie in two minutes. When people be like, and you stay in the upstairs room. I'll be like, no, I stay in a hotel. And don't deal with this bullshit. I'm not gonna ask somebody if I can have an apple or can I flush that toilet? You know what? Like, I'm not.

[B]

I've done it. And it was that Peter and I didn't do enough housekeeping.

[A]

It was my favorite.

[B]

We didn't cook enough. We didn't do that. These other people were up doing the breakfast, doing the omelettes. The next time I went out with these people to a different place, I said, can we please work out my kitchen duty schedules? Because I cannot have you guys talk shit about me.

[A]

I'd rather not even bother.

[B]

And then they said, oh, well, this place, we can go to the country club or whatever and eat every day. And I was like, okay, fine. But, like, I, you know, it just, it is a really hard thing. But of course this couple, you know, like, everything's fine and, and then just the shots of him doing standup where it was fucking up his nostril. Like, why was the camera that close? Like, why did I have to count the pores on his nose?

[A]

I think that, you know, Bradley Cooper

[B]

was trying to do artsy.

[A]

Yeah. And I was like, it's. This is how intimate standup can be or something. I don't know.

[B]

But I mean, you tell me, Chris, you're still out in the streets.

[A]

Well, that's the reality of the situation.

[B]

Would, would 35 year old, up and coming millennial type standups that are pretty good embrace a 50 year old first time finance bro elitist in New York City trying to take stage time from them? Would they embrace that person?

[A]

And the other thing was, which. This is every standup comedy movie. There's quite a few of them, strangely, but every one of them, you watch the set and it's supposed to be like a killer set, you know, in the movie. And you know, we all know the audience would have booed this guy off the stage. Nobody's sitting there letting a guy work it out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, about some weird story about him and his wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we, you, if you're not great for every second on stage, the audience will turn on you immediately.

[B]

Especially not knowing you come for you. And then also just like there's always those elements of a stand up movie. It's sadly depressing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just like, just like in, like there's always a part like, you know, like a stripper movie where there's an old stripper who, she's like, it's showtime. She's like way too old to be like the stripper. And you're like, oh God, I don't want to become that.

[A]

I want to see that same element

[B]

of the stand up where the guy's like, you know, they're like waiting to go on and some guy has like a crazy hat and he's got like a little prop thing. He's been doing the same mat for 50 years and you're like.

[A]

And so punchline with, with punchline is unwatchable.

[B]

That one is. And it was kind of taking off of like a, a Joan Rivers or a Roseanne and that. The mom is the hilarious one and she does this and the dad is like John Goodman. Yeah. I don't know if you can be gone every night when we've got the little girls. And then he sees how funny she is. And he's like, all right, we're gonna do it. And then they're like, you can. We want you to come and do the Tonight Show. And she's like, you know what? I'm just gonna stay in Philly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What? Like, there's just so many things about that just like, infuriate me. And then always there's the breaking point. You know, we even saw it and the scene of where they don't know someone's in the audience and they're ripping on them. We saw it with Che Diaz. They stole Brad. Bradley Cooper was watching. And just like that, because Che Diaz got on stage and made fun of Miranda and that she was a bad lay as a. As a non binary person who was getting with a fresh lesbian. She didn't know what she was doing. And I'm like, the same thing with this. So I was just like.

[A]

And everybody knows once again, in comedy, your friends, if you have any friends, they never come to your shows ever. They come to the first one that you ever did. We handed out a fly or something and then never to return. Which is a good thing.

[B]

Right. And so. And that's. But you got to do that. You got to bring the people and then, you know, and then hope that they like it. And yeah, you. But all of a sudden that. That she also just stumbled in that he. That she was like flirting with. Yeah. They had to get. Put him in it. And then he's like, we're having fun. Let's get a drink some. No one ever goes, let's get a drink at an open mic comedy club that we don't know that the people report in New York City when there's all these other cool spots to go. You're not going to that just like for. On a first date or whatever.

[A]

Well, also, I think this is probably a case of Bradley Cooper at this point. Big star.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no. I think the. Yes. It's all yes men.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right. There's nobody saying no anymore. So that's why you get that weird character. Oh, it's awesome. I love it. The cowboy hat, everything about it. So funny. And you know, once you start getting into that yes people, it's. I've seen yes people ruin so many careers. Usually when you have like the one big hit, like stars born, the next one is all yes people. And it's usually terrible. And this is.

[B]

This was literally like they. They were getting drunk one night or has smoking weed or whatever, and they're like came up with this movie idea. They're like, let's all work on it together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we'll, you know, because we're famous stars, we'll shoot it like real quick in New York City where we want to be. We'll knock it out in three weeks or whatever and make a lot of money and everyone will come see it. And you get to be like a stand up and I get to be this person and it's, it's fine. I'll never get those two hours back. But it's. Yeah. And then, and then the ending. I don't care because I'm not, I'm not ruining the part of it, the ending. There's a, there's a kid, a scene where the kids are in a band. Okay. And yeah, just because she's finally going back to work, which she's like a coach for the Olympics team of volleyball and she almost misses her kids major performance. Like if my kid had a solo or something and I plan on going, I wouldn't be late either. I'd miss it all together because I was out of town. I wouldn't be late. She's running and they, they're playing guitar, the two little boys. And then there's these two other girls. I don't know whose dad they were. I'm like, is that Northwest? Like, you suck. Like, why are these kids singing? They're so bad. And I'm like, out of all the young, like 12 year old kids that would have gotten a solo in real life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That can kill it. Like, so whatever. That was like some probably assistant director's kids and they're lovely. But I'm just saying, we all saw through it. It was awful.

[A]

All right, well. Yeah, go check it out. Well, now that we've said that, my next recommendation.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is a movie that you will certainly hate, but I would love for you to watch it. I loved it. Called Blue Moon. Blue Moon. Ethan Hawke plays like this weird playwright. Takes place in like one room in a bar in New York City. You might. You have to see. I want you just to watch it. Just to hate me even more.

[B]

Is it available right now?

[A]

Available right now on all your streaming service? I watched it on a plane. I watched it on a plane.

[B]

You're giving me all the reasons why I shouldn't watch Blue Moon.

[A]

Check it out.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Great movie.

[B]

All right, get ready to get your comments ready for Chris. If you loved it or hated it, you can take your complaints to his.

[A]

And if you guys would like to see the reality of stand up comedy.

[B]

Yes, please.

[A]

Here's a couple of places you could see me live. Next week. April 15, Wednesday night, I'll be in Buffalo. Buffalo, New York. I'll be at the Helium Comedy Club. One night only, one show. Buffalo. Could you please buy some tickets? I get the counts from my age.

[B]

Beautiful.

[A]

Really going to make me fly across the country for this. So please, Toronto. Thank you. Toronto Comedy Bar in Toronto. There's only like five tickets left if you want to go get those tickets. That's the next night, April 16th, Buffalo.

[B]

Make America great again. And be as nice as the Canadians that are buying the tickets.

[A]

Bought these tickets.

[B]

The Canadians in a week. Don't you want to be perceived as a nice. Do you want to be the nicer, juicy scooper person. Yes. Than the Canadians. Come on, we have to be number one.

[A]

Always go on Friday night, April 17th, I'm at Rochester, New York. This is always a tough sell for me. Comedy at the Carlson. It's a Friday night. Like the people ask. I can't do weekday Friday night. Rochester. Here it is. And then I'm back on Long island in my Hometown, Long Island. May 1st and 2nd. I'm at Governor's Comedy Club, Belmore, Long island, called Brokerage Comedy Club governors. May 1st and 2nd. It's the long island show that everybody's been asking for. May 1st and 2nd, New York Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut on April 30th.

[B]

And I think, and then to all the very lucky, lucky people, people that, yeah, did as I said and got the tickets right away for the show. May 9. Netflix is a joke in LA in which you'll be joining me.

[A]

I'm there.

[B]

And that is going to be a dream. That's gonna be so fun. Sold out.

[A]

So many people come up to me at shows far away and tell me they're flying in for it.

[B]

Making a weekend incredibly honored and flattered since they had never asked me to do anything before.

[A]

4. Yeah.

[B]

I loved that the one time they did, we fucking killed it. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I know working out is really important, especially strength training and having a consistency. And I find I do best if I can do it several days a week. But I don't really like doing it for a full hour. I like doing like 30 minutes. When I discovered Ladder, I'm like, this app is perfect because the exercises change. I have my personal trainer. I can kind of say what I'm up for, what I'm more into today. And that's what I love. And I'm noticing great results. It works for any strength training style. So there's pilates, there's bodybuilding, there's at home dumbbell only hybrid strength glute focused programs, kettlebells pre and post natal which I know is really important for many of us. And whether you train at home or gym, there's a plan for you. So if you have a gym, maybe in your apartment complex, you can take that app and actually go to those machines and work it in a way that'll work with your body because you're working with professional trainers. Ladder is an expert strength training plan, not a content library. There aren't influencer workouts or challenges. It's a real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what you do with for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to Ladder Fit Juicyscoop and take a quick quiz to find out your perfect Ladder plan. Use my link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. Everyone's got that one friend who's always wearing the cutest outfits and you're like where did you get that? Can I just go shop in your closet? Well that is Whatnot. Whatnot is the greatest shopping app. It is the number one live shopping app in the US where shopping happens in real time with real people, real conversations and incredible deals. You almost never pay full price. You shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry and more all without the retail sticker shop. This is the best place to find great deals on products you love and there are amazing sellers with great taste. Going live 24 7. You can comment in real time and they will show you a close up of the clothes, explain the sizing and answer any question. I think it's such a fun way to get something fun and different and exciting and get those new looks that you love. Where you're like would this work for me or not? Well you could find out on Whatnot like I did and really have a good time with it. You got to check it out. Download the Whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search Whatnot w a t n o t whatnot in the App Store and start scoring amazing deals. This episode of Juicy Scoop is sponsored by O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company and they offer a range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond that. What I love is their Urovaginal probiotic. It is to help Balance Healthy Vaginal pH, Support Healthy Vaginal smell and maintain healthy vaginal flora. So many factors, you know, when it comes to sex or tight clothing, sweat from working out, hormones, periods, et cetera can disrupt vaginal health and lead to an imbalance in vaginal flora and ph, causing unhealthy vaginal odor or taste and abnormal discharge and discomfort. When taken daily, just two capsules a day, Euro delivers noticeable benefits within eight weeks. And many customers have talked about the improvement in vaginal health, which has also led to greater confidence, which means better sex and intimacy. I love this one Amazon review she wrote. I've been insecure about the taste and smell down there, but this probiotic really helps balance out my system so I can go out feeling confident and and sexy. Take proactive care of your health and head to oh positive.com juicy scoop or enter juicy scoop at checkout for 25 off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T-I-V.com juicy scoop for 25 off. Okay, now I I made Chris watch this and I know many people are talking about it. It's a story, you know, but he got a documentary and it's the death and life of Lamar Odom. And it was about hour and a half.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's not multiple parts. And it starts out because it's part of the sports thing. So it's really about his sports and everything was really kind of interesting about his life. And I mean, I just want to say Khloe Kardashian, Saint Chloe, patron saint of cheating addict exes. That is what she is going to be known as when she gets sainted.

[A]

And also she will be, I believe. I also feel like a saint for doing the documentary. Like she could have been like, no, I'm done with this chapter of my life.

[B]

I think that she did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because she does still feel she is still so sweet that a she wanted it. She knew she needed to be a part of it for it to probably go right. She knows he needs the paycheck. But also I think there were some false narratives that were perceived in the media, which I'll get into. That didn't make her look like a saint and I think she wanted to clear those up.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[B]

And so, you know, we get to where they fall in love and the story that we always that was it is she went to this party and he saw her across the room.

[A]

Ron Artest, Metta World Peace.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He's the one who had the party. Which is all cool to watch. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah. So he has a party and he. They hire.

[B]

Yeah. Like, just to be co hosted by Khloe Kardashian. She gets five grand. Yeah. She's like, okay, I'll go to this. This basketball thing. And he immediately, you know, zooms in on her. And you get from his ex. Wife, who also was a part of it, and really quite classy and delightful, and his kids. And he, you know that he's a charmer. He's a player. He, you know, he's not just a catch because he's a famous basketball player, but, like, he just knows how to, like, love Bob. And so I remember when I went out with Kris Jenner one night for dinner, and she's like, you're not gonna believe what's happening right now. Chloe is dating Lamar Odom. I'm like, who's that? I had no idea. Yeah, this is. They'd only been dating, like, a week. And she's like, you know, he's just so into her and Lakers and all this stuff. So I look at my mom like, this is. I'd already won a ring. All of this before he met her. And. And then the thing happens. We're going to get married. And the reason they were going to get married, she's like, we have to get married on this date before he goes back to, like, Laker training. And also this. On this date. It's his favorite number. And you. This was not in the. In the doc, but this is just what I remember from knowledge. And it was interesting because he played that kind of shit with her throughout their relationship where he's like, oh, my God. I. I got high for three days because it was the anniversary of my son's. My son who died of sids. The. Oh, my gosh. This is the same time that my dad or my mother died, like, constantly. So, like, she would just go, okay, so she really did not even have a real boyfriend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Before meeting him. And. And now I look back at the wedding and everything, and I'm like, oh, that's why Chris and the. And the sisters wore purple. Well, why they wore lavender because of the Lakers. Oh, that's why that was that color.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Chris immediately got a personalized license plate. Laker Mom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. Like, didn't spell out the Lakers. Somehow she worked it out that that was the personalized license plate that I remember, like, Laker Mama. And I remember going to a game and all the other. The. The opposing time they all had Chloe faces for when he's playing to, like, make it like he was so distracted by his mad love for her that he couldn't play right if they put up her face. It was such, like, a cute time. And now we realize that cute time was so short.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's wild to watch any documentary, of course, about the Kardashians, because there's been so many changes.

[B]

I mean, she really looks so different.

[A]

Just that. And all of them, like, you see Kim, you see, you know, Courtney, and they're all completely different. And then, of course, you see Bruce in several pictures, and you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

[B]

You can't talk about how much different, how different they look like when you. When you think about the. The patriarch of the family.

[A]

I know. And he was just like, I mean, oh, yeah, there's Bruce, you know, And

[B]

I remember, you know, in the show and stuff, there was this little thing. Does Bruce at the time walk Chloe down the. The aisle? And I don't know if that was for the show or whatever, but then she decides, yes. And I remember he was like, you know, he wants to live in a more. You know, he doesn't want to spend so much in a house. And he's like, I like this guy. I like this guy that he's smart about money. And I'm like, and you. He was snowing them all. He then reveals in the stock that he saw Chloe and was like, loved the fame that the Lakers brought and was like, oh, I want that. Yeah, I want to elevate my life. Well, he says, I like the way they live.

[A]

Several times throughout the. Like, I wanted to be a list. Even at the very end, he says, am I a list now? I got a documentary.

[B]

But also, it's like the gift that Chris and all the girls have in, like, being like. Like homemakers. I mean, yes, they're rich, but she was always like that, even when they weren't rich. And I remember when Bruce at the time and Caitlin and Chris broke up, Caitlin then said, you know, she set me up in the house. She got her team there. I walk in my new house in Malibu, or wherever he was staying, she was staying. And then it was like the TV was remote. Like, every. Everything was done. The furniture was done, Things were put away. There was food in the fridge. Your cable is set up. Like, all the things that you're like, what a nightmare. Like, she just knows how to do that. And so then I love that Chloe was so honest about knowing that he's out and cheating while they're filming their Chloe Lamar show.

[A]

Yeah, I had forgotten they had that many shows like Courtney and Chloe Take Miami.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There was a. I didn't realize there was that many spin offs of that

[B]

and that and that he wanted it like Lamar wanted it. And then I do remember it all went to shit. Not knowing what was really going behind the scenes when he got traded to Dallas. Dallas. This is something along with how a giant cruise ship is able to sail and not sink to the ground. I still don't understand how that is the case. I don't understand trading. I don't understand how like you're doing a good job and you're on the team and then someone's like, hey, we'll give you this person if you give us this person. Don't. I just don't understand it. I just don't get it. Can you explain it to like a non sports person how that works?

[A]

Well, I mean, there's a million reasons that go into why so much traded. Depending on the sport, it's different. But in the case of Lamar Odom, I think there was the fact that he was trouble in the. I think they probably knew that he was.

[B]

So they want something. So they wanted to get rid of him. And then you're like, hey, instead of just firing you, we put you on like, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a list where then another team can pick you up.

[A]

The GM will call and go, hey, you need this person or that person? And we got this person.

[B]

So even though you're like competing against these other teams, you're still kind of helping them out because you're like, I'll let you have my person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not, it's like the only business. There isn't like a non complete, non compete clause.

[A]

There is some. There are a lot of players that do a no trade clause so they can't be traded. That's.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. So there is a no trade clause in a lot of contracts. However. Do you remember Lamar Odom came from when Shaquille o' Neal got traded to the MA Because Shaquille and Kobe didn't get along. Shaquille went to the Miami Heat and that's how Lamar came to the Lakers to begin with in a trade. So.

[B]

So he goes to Dallas and that's when, like, I knew, like I, I was close with them and it was like I knew things were not going well in Dallas and it wasn't working out, but she was like flying back and trying to do Christmas Eve with the kids and then going back to Dallas, like, she just was putting him first, even though she knew he was doing drugs, knew he was cheating. And then when they find out, he goes to Big Bear, of all places, to get high with some chick who then calls Chris, finds his phone, calls Chris. The other girl called him. Yes, Called Kris Jenner and Chloe and was like, I can't take your man anymore. Like, you need to pick him up. Fricking annoying. I don't want to be with him anymore.

[A]

And they went and got.

[B]

They drove to Big Bear.

[A]

I know. That's like a tooth. That's like a. First of all, it's like a hellish drive into the mountains. And it's like the words three hours.

[B]

Like, why is he making again? If you're gonna cheat and. And do all this, could you do it in Encino? Right? Like, why do I have to go to Big Bear? Like, everything single thing he did made her life difficult. And then finally, I thought this part was, like, really heartbreaking. When they go, you gotta have. He's gotta have an intervention. You're gonna go in Chloe, and you're going to say, if you don't go to this rehab, then I'll get a divorce. And he goes, okay, fine, let's get a divorce. And to me, that was just. It was so sad because I really. I don't think he loved her. I don't think he cared that much about her. I think she was a disposable woman in his life. That it wasn't like this, oh, my God, I'm pining for you for the rest of my life. She was replaceable. And I just thought that must have really. That must have fucked her up more than anything else because she was putting up with all this stuff thinking that she was the love of his life. And I don't think she was. I don't think he's even capable of loving anyone but himself. I think he's awful.

[A]

Yeah. Really? I. I kind of had a different.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When I finished it. I kind of felt bad for the guy. I mean, I guess I never looked at it in that way, but yeah, I felt bad for the guy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, you know, I didn't realize his. His early life was as bad as it was.

[B]

Well, let me tell you a few more things that people don't also know that were the details of the thing. So then he goes, so they're filed for divorce. It's not done yet. And he goes on his binge to the bunny ranch. And you know, almost dies. They don't know what to do with this giant body. They can't get in. Into the ambulance. And everybody's praying for Lamar. We really think he's gonna die. And I remember, like, being involved in that and being like, oh, my God, this is so horrible. But, I mean, she was divorcing him. Like, this is crazy that they're all loving and forgiving and, like, caring about his life. And then there were stories that it was like, oh, Chloe's not letting these other people see him. And so I think that's part of the reason why she did the doc is because she made it very clear. Like, I realized there were people coming in, like, giving him drugs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so she's like, I had to put my foot down. And she did say, the dad said, don't resuscitate him. I want to get the life insurance.

[A]

And then took a pair of Nikes.

[B]

Did you see?

[A]

That was my favorite part, the picture of the dad. Now I want to see a whole documentary on him. He was a drug addict, too, obviously by his outfit.

[B]

And so it was like, you know, and that was another excuse. Well, my dad was a drug addict, so I'm a drug addict. You know, like, sins of the father or whatever. And so then she's like, what do you need? Nike's 100 bucks in a hotel room. Done. Like, just get the hell out. And then there were these, you know, and there was this guy that, like, was on the show that was clearly his buddy from home that they would do drugs together.

[A]

His name was Punk.

[B]

I don't know if it's pumpkin or somebody, or it might have been another friend that I remember from the show. They had this friend, and he was supposed to be running Lamar's merch. And there was a whole storyline where, like, Chloe was like, you're not selling any T shirts, and, like, you live here and you party with him, and, like, this isn't working out. Like, you show her trying to put her foot down. Meanwhile, she would make, like, homemade fried chicken and sweet potatoes and all his favorite things, things, And. And, you know, he, like, would eat all this candy and never been to a dentist. And she was like, can we get Lamar to a dentist? Like, every little thing that she did, I was just like, oh, my God. And so then she takes care, is there for four months. They said he gets better. They Then she then furnishes him in a house where they use their team because he's, like, 7ft tall. Beds have to be specially made, couches Furniture, it's all custom for him, which wasn't in the show, but I remember that. And then she says, I go to visit, see how he's doing. And once, you know, the smell of crack, you don't forget it. And she smells the smell of crack. Someone got him crack. And then he goes, I mean, what kind of person gives me crack?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He immediately blamed the hard working drug dealer that, you know, somehow managed to get through the gates of Calabasas to give you the drug. Like, I just. And so then I just thought, the end. He's done some interviews since, and they're like, again, people are like, wow. That have watched it. Wow. St. Chloe, like, my God. And she really saved you. And he's like, no, think it was God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it really wasn't. God was inside of Chloe. Okay. And that was your angel. Okay. The actual person that embodies that. It just pissed me off.

[A]

I feel sorry for. Well, the subtitle guy when Lamar Odom talked, because I had to turn on this, I forgot how hard he was to understand. Remember you people used to joke about that on Kardashian.

[B]

Yeah. We would say, how are we gonna see a whole show when he needs subtitles? He mumbles.

[A]

Yeah. And then this time I was like, I don't even know if the subtitle people can make out some of those words that he was trying to say.

[B]

Something weird happened with my peacock when I watched the Bravo and I don't know how to fix it, but it's like I have this weird narrator girl on. So I'll be watching like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and instead of this, it's subtitles plus someone reading the subtitles.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

And I don't. It's so.

[A]

I think that's for blind people.

[B]

It's so weird. It'll be like Kyle Richards eyes widen. And like, they'll show Kyle's eyes whining. And then it's like. Then you hear Kyle talk.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And then it'll be like, that's crazy. And then you know how they, like, show like, scenes of like, Beverly Hills shopping, whatever. They'd be like, people shop on Beverly in Beverly Hills. A small dog pees. A pool is shown an airplane going, oversight.

[A]

They're gonna have.

[B]

You're right. Maybe I'm just watching for blind people.

[A]

You must have a blind people button

[B]

that every time I turn it on, I'm like, oh, God. Now I have to like. Like I have to call Drake and say, how do I turn? And I Just listen to this weird voice, because I'm like, oh, that.

[A]

I didn't even know my TV had such a theater.

[B]

Did you catch the very end of the Lamar part where he's like, are we done? And then he goes, let's go to Vegas and party. He said, I want to get married and party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm like, this is a guy who runs rehabs. Well, I don't think he's sober. Sorry, that's my.

[A]

I think he lives near me because I see him quite a bit. And I'm here to tell you, first of all, his car doesn't look like he's straightened his life out. He is in some real piece of shit, like Pathfinder or something, an old one. And we saw him in the morning at this coffee place I go to, and I have my daughter with me. And I told my daughter, like, this play with the Lakers. My daughter. Then I. Some guy comes in, he goes, oh, Lamar. He did not want to talk to anybody. He was just like, yeah, bro. And got in the car and took off. So I've seen him a bunch. So I'm signing, like, contracts on the hood of a car in a 711 parking lot. Listen, is he. I don't think he's on the straight narrow. Whatever.

[B]

And I also just think, like, for Chloe, like, there was this other time on Keeping up recently or now it's just called the Kardashians, where she and her best friend Malika go and. And meet. And that was, you know, I guess this doc came after that where she kind of has a moment again. I think it was. She was throwing him a bone. And I remember she. One time she uses that, like, expression because I remember she was dating that French Montana, and I. Are you into him? She goes, no, but Kim was like, oh, Chloe, throw him a bone. Like, she threw him a bone. And to. So that he could get 10k for the shoot or whatever it was. And she could also, like, kind of rip him a new. Because she was like. Brought up this whole thing, like, I furnished you in a house. I visited you every day. And then some people tried to act like I was trying to keep your, you know, ex and your. Your teenage kids from you. Which was never the case. And. But yeah, he didn't want any of them at the. At the wedding, his family. He said, my family didn't come to the wedding or. No, the family said we weren't invited. You know that. I don't. There's no way that that was not the Kardashians. Doing that. That was him. And they planned the wedding in nine days at Irving Azoff's house. And. And by the way, here we are. Here's Peter at the wedding.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I saw that, you guys in the background, here's Phil Jackson.

[B]

Right there's my hair. That's me.

[A]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[B]

And. And I also just wanted to bring this. This was also from the wedding with the purple.

[A]

Oh, is that like.

[B]

Zoom in on this. This is the notepad of Chloe and Lamar. September 27, 2009. Yes.

[A]

Put that on ebay, especially after this documentary came out.

[B]

I think I saw the unbreakable perfume somewhere too. That was their unisex perfume.

[A]

What does that smell like? Crack?

[B]

That was the smell that was in testing, in going around and testing. You know, they're always like, when you ever have someone do like a scent thing, you're like, what are you attracted to? Or even when you get a massage. So like, do you want the lavender, the vanilla? And so like, and then that somehow is the smell that he was attracted to. And then they realized after they made the perfume, they're like, really smells like burnt crack.

[A]

I had. I also had a couple of weird reactions as a guy, as an old dad with a six year old daughter. There were several times throughout this documentary where I heard. And then he just stayed in the bathroom for three days and didn't come out. Or he went to the back house of a, you know, whorehouse and stayed there. Both times I was like, God, that sounds amazing. I would love to stay in the bathroom for three days with the door shut and nobody bother.

[B]

I think that too. When someone's like, I couldn't get out of bed for three days.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I was like, oh, my God. There's only been a few times that I've had like something like slightly medical or whatever where I would get like a painkiller. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm this tired. I love feeling this tired. I love sleeping. I love taking a nap. Because in my normal life, I never nap.

[A]

Me neither.

[B]

I am never feeling overly tired, ever. And so the few times that I felt overly tired, I'm like, this is heaven. This is like. I get why people get addicted to that anytime.

[A]

Anytime. Even like trapped in the woods. Four days, I was trapped in the woods. I'm like, I'll take it, I'll take it.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, what do we think? So Kanye came out and sold two nights at SoFi State. It made $33 million, people. So excited to hear Ding ding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[A]

Good song.

[B]

Ding. Right at you. Right at you. I agree. I get wet. I get tingles. I get it. He's walking on this thing that looks like a sphere, but obviously it's not really turning around because he's not in, you know, Cirque du Soleil acrobat. So it's an illusion. It's an illusion that he's on a normal stage. But it looks like, you see spinning north comes out and she performs. I'm your Miss Bestie Westy. Whatever. Good. And everyone loved it. And then the UK was like, you know what? Like maybe the fact that he was selling, you know, the Nazi sign T shirts and things and all the horrible anti semic. Anti Semitic things he said. We actually don't want him to come to the UK and therefore the entire wireless festival has been canceled that he was going to perform in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How would you feel if you're one of the other people on that bill?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That would suck. I know, but I think it's great. I think it's great. I think it's great that they just said, no, we're not doing it. Like, we're not gonna do it. This is just. I mean, a lot of people, I mean, it's amazing how many men can do awful things and everyone just forgives them from like, you know, comedians to. To whatever. Like, let's just forget it. Let's just keep going, you know, then other people will, you know, that are women will say one wrong thing and it's like you're done forever. Banished.

[A]

Banished to move to Ireland or something.

[B]

Yeah. Like you, you said something that was anti. Something that nothing to the level of what he did. He did apology. How.

[A]

How does he. Is he now saying about the. The Hitler stuff? Is he saying, I was on medication? I.

[B]

He just says, I regret it. And it was like an ad that he put in a paper and it was just like a little thing that was like, I was in a four month manic episode.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I feel like it wasn't just those four months. Like, I feel like he was saying shit like that like three years ago and it was like on. And then it just got to the peak when he actually made the merch.

[A]

And it's just that he showed on a commercial like on the super bowl or something. Didn't he show that?

[B]

Sure. Maybe he paid for that. It was so. The thing that is so awful is that in this world. And I am going to get like A little serious this moment. The Holocaust never forget is a reason. Because there was a fear that one day a generation would forget.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And we're fucking there. Like, we're almost there. And so someone that's that powerful and that influential and like the Picasso of our time, as far as the Mozart art of our time, I think we have to really be. Take it seriously, because they can influence people to think that this didn't really happen and that this isn't and this could end. It can happen again. Right, because we're gonna push this out, this propaganda that got them there in the first place.

[A]

Now why I think so far.

[B]

I mean, because it's how fucking Hollywood.

[A]

They don't give a shit.

[B]

They don't give a shit. And they're just like. Well, he said he was sorry. He did an ad. He wrote an ad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he said he was sorry. But I just think it's something that is just beyond, like, I just.

[A]

I guess he went up at the improv last night and the night before, too. No, he really did.

[B]

Wait, really?

[A]

Dean Cole, the comedian Dean Cole brought him up on stage, like, last night or night before. I saw pictures at the improv. So a lot of comedians, like, really? Now we're bringing Kanye into the place.

[B]

So I just.

[A]

It's wild.

[B]

Yeah. And I think the only way that people just want to go, look, I just don't even want to speak on it, or he's so powerful and who cares? And just. But gosh, I saw. I saw those videos of just, you know, people just loving it and going to see them and. Okay. I mean, it just. It goes to show you that no one, if you. If you're. Believe that you can't be canceled and you just keep going, most likely you won't be canceled unless you're, like, behind bars. And what he did is not a crime. It's horrible. But, like, I don't know. And just embarrassing and awful. And I think he has to do a lot more. Like, I think he has to really, like, do an interview and just go. I'm just. But maybe he's not. That's what I think. I don't. I do think he still thinks that way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But he has to, like, he has to sit with, like, a doctor who has explained what his condition is. He also said he's autistic. And, I mean, let's not make it that that's a condition of people who have autism, because that's certainly not right. But, like, whatever's wrong with. I mean, clearly yeah, he has issues, but that was just such a weird time and crazy. And then he's still with the Bianca.

[A]

Bianca sensory.

[B]

Yeah. And she's still, you know, wearing some camel toe and in outfits and, and the kids are around and I mean, I just hope it was worth it.

[A]

You know anybody who went to the shows.

[B]

No, no, no, I, I, no, I have no desire, like, you know, I would not want to support any of that. I've always thought his clothes, everything was weird. I did meet him many, many years ago when he was first dating Kim. It was like at Chloe's, I mean, at Courtney's baby shower. And he was a smiley delight.

[A]

I met him once, smiley delight as well. And he was a smiley delight to me too. Actually. Overly friendly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We wrote on the MTV Movie Music Awards and he was like, super nice. Yeah, that was like, Right.

[B]

I'm sure that's what she fell in love with. I don't think she, I don't think any of the family saw that side of him until. But it were. It was a classic thing where all of a sudden he changes her clothes. Then everything in the house has to be beige. Then north gets born. She can't wear anything pink. We knew that, like, before buying gifts, it has to be brown, black, or. And she's a little girl. I'm like, well, one day she might want to wear color. Now she's blue hair. Good for her. But like, it was just, it was a slowly allowing that to happen. And it's just kind of, thank God she got out. But I mean, I just don't think there could be a worse person to co parent with, and I've said that over and over than Kanye West. Like, how do you even explain to your friends who are Jewish or your manager or your agent or your neighbor or your kids, parents, friends, oh, we're gonna go to Kanye's concert and they're like, yeah, yeah. But like, it's, it's my. It's saint's dad. He's gonna get his ticket.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then what about the Jewish people that are just like, I still like the songs and I don't care. Maybe that's your prerogative. That's your pride. Listen, when I see the video of the ding ding, ding, I'm like, I'm gonna listen to the song.

[A]

I mean, it is weird how we draw our lines, you know, I mean, Michael Jackson is still Michael Jackson. There's a movie coming out next week, you know, but, you know, and I'm not saying that I'm just that's the thing.

[B]

You can go, you can go. You can go to see Louis ck. You can book Louis ck. You can do. You can go. Love a Woody Allen movie. You can, you know, I mean it is what it is, but.

[A]

Right. I try to only see movies directed by Bradley Cooper. I hope nothing comes out about him because I got to see all his movies.

[B]

Isn't it weird that he's like been dating Gigi Hadid for years, a long time? Yeah, I hear stories about that.

[A]

Oh really?

[B]

Just there's always been rumors about him maybe not being.

[A]

I've heard all those rumors too, but I hear that.

[B]

But I also think, yeah, like who, who cares? Who knows? Yeah, I always just feel like a thing like that can't go on that long if it's not real.

[A]

Eventually you see him somewhere, you know.

[B]

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[A]

I don't know. Yeah, I saw those but like he

[B]

wasn't gay and then it was just like here's my boyfriend.

[A]

But I don't think he's one of those people who he knew what he was because he right he was not that big a star where he followed his personal life.

[B]

Some people think he's a plant plant because he like fell out of the sky out of nowhere and it was just like the biggest thing. Yeah, but I'm like. But that's also.

[A]

Everybody falls.

[B]

But that stars.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. He was on Narcos and it was a big hit.

[B]

Yeah, I mean that that could happen. You get one big show and then you do get. And when you and timing is right and you get the good team behind you and you get the a few and you can.

[A]

How come I never. I never understood it never having us. I never had a good team behind me.

[B]

I also don't understand an industry plant. That doesn't make any sense because the industry is so broad. It's not three people Right. Like, going, okay, the person this year is Sydney Sweeney. It's just not that, like, so. That I don't agree with, by the way.

[A]

I don't know if you've heard that. I heard now people saying that Sydney Sweeney is a man again. Yeah. Another one, latest one. She's a man, baby. I know. I'm like, wait a minute. Of all the people. She doesn't seem like she's got any manly features at all.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

Yeah. So. All right, we're good on that one.

[B]

We're good on that one.

[A]

I hope so. Speaking of this, this will lead us perfectly into this.

[B]

This is, you know, this is from last week, but I just had to get your take on it. Kristy Noem, who has been fired for her job in. In the administration. Because I was like, what. What. What was it really that fired her? And it was that she did an ad campaign that put her face on Mount Rushmore and it cost $230 million.

[A]

Yeah. She was riding a horse through the woods. It was like a.

[B]

How could a commercial. I mean, how could you ever think that that wouldn't be found out? That a commercial cost $230 million?

[A]

Well, I think it was a series of commercials, but still, I think that was, like, more than one, but not that that matters.

[B]

So then get this. Give us the story. How did they find out that the husband, he's into wearing, like, big breasts that, like, a drag queen would wear, like a rubber chest plate kind of a thing?

[A]

Well, bit of a backstory, you know.

[B]

That used to be you.

[A]

Yeah. No, I mean, thank God it's not. I don't have any. Because you never know when they're gonna come up, you know? Also, you're like, God, I'd love to have some big tits. You know, it comes out of nowhere, probably. I don't have any of those weird faggots.

[B]

You know what? We never dressed you up as a woman ever. Ever, Chelsea, lately.

[A]

No, I was the only one who didn't do the ever.

[B]

They. They also say that. That they think that's an Illuminati thing.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

That they make stars dress up like women in a skit or something. And that means that that's your way of saying, all right, you got my. Now, I'm. Yeah, I'm completely. I. I believe in Satan. And you would have. That's all conspiracy. Chill out, people. I don't believe it. Okay.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Go on.

[A]

I. In my defense. Or if I can. This gets me in the Illuminati. I Don't know. We did do several things where I was transitioning as Bruce Jenner into. But before there was a real transition on Chelsea lately, we were doing me transitioning just for fun. So, you know, in this.

[B]

In this world of conspiracy theories where people would always go, you're crazy. That's crazy. And now we realize a lot of things have proven to be true. Like, oh, my God, I can't. You know, and everyone told you, you're crazy. My mom would tell me, would ask me, right before Caitlyn transitioned, is. Is Bruce Jenner transitioning, becoming a woman? Because it was like in the Inquirer, right? And I was like, no, mom, that is just stories. That is just, you know, he's probably just getting, like, some plastic surgery or something. He's just probably has, like, a vanity thing going on. And then my mom died. And then I was like, do I take the Vanity Fair magazine and show Joe to go to the grave?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And be like, you were right. Yeah, you were right. And I. I was like, crazy mother. You crazy mother. And she was right.

[A]

She might need some closure on that. Take, you know, whatever you need to take.

[B]

She knows. So. So this is basically husband of 34 years.

[A]

A little bit of a backstory.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She was fired. And then it came out that she had, you know, slept with a guy. A guy she worked with, Corey Lou Ludenowski.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So there was that.

[B]

Christy did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

But then she said, we want privacy where I'm staying with my husband. And I guess people started to dig for pictures or whatever. And, I mean, it's not hard to

[B]

find, like, a fetish website or something.

[A]

He's all over only fans. He has a bunch of different only fans accounts with different women.

[B]

Oh, where he's paying the.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's not the mom.

[A]

That's one of the women you see in this picture, picture here, that she's one of the women that he paid for a lot of her stuff.

[B]

Her name's bimbo Bride request to make her his bimbo bride. Or maybe they're just saying that on the California Post. But yeah, so she's some, you know, enormous.

[A]

And he pays for the bigger ones for her.

[B]

And then he bought her a boob job.

[A]

That's what it says.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then, of course, he has his. I guess when you watch this is what I Am Gathering. He watches them, you know, on OnlyFans or whatever do. I don't know what. And then he goes, hang on while you. I'm gonna put on my big Tits. So. Because it seems like he's. He's not doing anything else.

[B]

No. No makeup. Nothing.

[A]

Stick on our wig.

[B]

Yeah. And he still wearing like a guy T shirt.

[A]

Yeah. Over the big. I don't know if the big tits are part of the T shirt or they go on first. Then a T shirt goes over it. It. Because nipple placement is all up. I don't know if you've seen it. One is shooting left, the other ones are going wrong. Yeah, they're all over the place. He needs to work on that.

[B]

Wow. And so where are they now in the relationship? Are they still gonna try to work it out?

[A]

I believe, as far as I know. I mean.

[B]

And I assume they have kids. That's.

[A]

That's the tough one, you know, the kids gotta see this. I guess I think they're a little older, which I don't know if that makes it better, but.

[B]

But it was a weird thing because I'm like, well, you know, if anything,

[A]

he's not nursing is what I'm saying.

[B]

You know, there's a. There's two ways to look at it. It can look like, you know, the first obvious way is, you know, based on their political affiliation, many people felt that they were very anti any thing like this for others.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yet they. Yet he does it for himself. And the other part is you should be like, well, look, we really weren't like that because I do it too. We're super open to it. You should embrace us.

[A]

That could be an angle she should use, you know? Yeah, yeah, look at us.

[B]

We're.

[A]

We're into it.

[B]

We're super. Yeah, we're super open to whatever thing you. However 1. You want to live behind closed doors. But nothing's behind closed doors anymore because it all can be found online.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Like, because you are talking to someone on Only fans. Because you are part of a fetish online group, because you are sharing child corn, you know, through websites. Like, if you just kept it behind doors, truly, then we wouldn't know. But.

[A]

But there is no behind. Yeah. Like you said.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I always want to know for a guy like this, something that's really embarrassing like this. I just want to know what the day is like after it breaks. Like the day these pictures came out roll over the place. Like, what's the. The trip to Starbucks? Yeah. Because you're still out in the public eye, you know, like, what is that? Like the next couple of days, going to the friend's house, you know, like, oh, boy. Been a rough one, huh, for you?

[B]

I mean, Maybe it'll just be like. Just like when Caitlyn came out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you're like, okay.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Maybe they are just like, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you were. You're. I mean, you're not hurting anyone. No.

[A]

Not the worst thing.

[B]

You bought this girl's boob job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're helping support single moms on Onlyfans. You're still staying married. Right. You're just part of a little weird club.

[A]

Is this an indication that the big boobs are back? Because there was a while there, if you remember, the big boobs were gone for a bit. Remember everybody was looking for, I don't

[B]

know, smoking's back and super skinny and low jeans are back. So maybe 90 hard fake porno tits are gonna come make them big porno

[A]

tits are coming back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I bet you're right. Everything comes back in fashion. All right, this guy, his name is Dante. And he said, I need a Hulu or Netflix to gather all of the mental health experts and do a doc on Covid and how some people. How I've always said I think it would be. So I'm surprised there hasn't been one out yet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm going to tell them how they should do it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We don't need to see the exact same photos and drone photos over and over over again of the empty street streets.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Can I just say I'm so done with documentarians that only that are going to do a whole thing on someone who went missing or died and they only have three photos. I don't care if they're 60 and weren't part of Facebook. Find more than three photos. Find more than three photos.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. I'm.

[A]

No, but there are some people who just don't have any photos.

[B]

No, I think it's a lazy editor. I think it's a lazy editor that and a lazy producer. Go find more photos. Go. Literally, it's the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the same face from the wedding over and over and over again. There's got to have been somebody else that took a photo of you at a party in the last 15 years that we could use that for the doc. We're putting a documentary together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So in this, I don't need to see the empty streets. I don't need to have them tell us what happened. We know. Get that quick. What I'd like to see is I want to hear stories about the COVID divorce. The COVID friendship breakup that could be a whole series. The people that actually fell in love because they were, like, barely dating and then decided to just, like, move in together because they were already. And contaminated each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to hear about the person who discovered that their spouse was cheating because there was only one other lady in the whole neighborhood that had Covid. And then the husband came home with COVID and the two dogs knew each other because they were going on walk. They were at the.

[A]

I'd watch all these.

[B]

All of that. I. That's what I want. And then I want to know, hear from the person that's forever changed from COVID Like, socially. They never go out. They don't care. They loved it. They wanted it to come back. And then you can maybe hear from someone that wished for some. For the world to just shut down and then it happened, and they felt guilty the rest of their life.

[A]

Yeah, we all.

[B]

I mean, it was fun for. No, Like, I literally. I literally said right before it happened.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I said I was not looking forward to all the stuff that was going to happen at the end of 8th grade for my son. It just was, like, stressing me out. The Disney trip, the this, the that, the parties, the. And I just go, ugh, I wish I could just skip this whole next couple months.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said, I, like, God made it happen when you have that ability. When. Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. And then I went on stage and said, jesus loves me the most. And he flicked me to let the world know maybe people shouldn't get multiple vaccines.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's hard being a vessel. It is a vessel. Speaking as a messenger of God. It's hard. No, I think that's what I want to see.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't need to see news of. What's his name? Who was the guy? The doctor that was always fouchy. I don't see that. I don't need to see Gavin with a scratchy voice. We're gonna scratch. I don't need to see the new shit that we already live through. Just give me the juice.

[A]

I'm with you. Feels like other lifetime. Seems like so long ago. All that went down.

[B]

It really did. And it was. It was. Covid jokes were so. Covid jokes were the best because it was the one thing. Remember, we're all in this together. It was the one thing that you could just tell your Covid joke no matter where. Right. Even if it was still going on or shortly after and the whole place would laugh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's been no other thing like that in life that was like that relatable.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Why is the guy driving around Alone in his car with a mask on.

[A]

Everybody ran that one into the ground. Remember?

[B]

I like it. I've got like it. It was easy.

[A]

I think that's when. When the world turned on celebrities too. And they all tried to sing. Imagine.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Imagine all the people. Those people that are part of that, once in a while that'll pop up in my feed. And I'm like, how much of an. You're in your beautiful California backyard. I remember there were two. They were these funny twins, and they were doing a thing of how one was in New York, got these guys, and one was in California, and they did a thing of, like, how different the massive shutdown was. Yes. Both places were completely shut down as cities, while Texas were, like, having high school football games by, like, March 28th.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But like. Or whatever. But. But with this, it was like, we're walking around in our neighborhoods, he's swimming in a pool. Like, especially if you live in a nice neighborhood. It was like, not terrible. You could go and sit, you know, and then how, like, have, like, wine parties across the street from people and all that kind of stuff. And then the New York person was just, like, stuck in their place. Like, why the brothers, like, doing laps and stuff.

[A]

What a nightmare. What a nightmare.

[B]

That's what I want to see, though.

[A]

Speaking of documentaries, if you're gonna just pitch documentaries, I was fascinated to go back to Lamar Odom.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

At the very end of that documentary, when I talk about the whorehouses and stuff, I. First of all, I thought that guy was great. The guy who worked at the.

[B]

With the black rocker hair that run. Ran the whorehouses. Yeah.

[A]

And then, like, when they just show the other, like, there's the bunny ranch and then there's all these other ones. He's one weird. Just trailers in the middle of the desert. I want to. There probably is one, but I need to see a documentary on that. Well, and who goes like.

[B]

Well, I loved. I loved that show. Those. That. With Airplane Annie and all that. Those girls.

[A]

HBO show.

[B]

Yes. HBO show. Where people would, like, bring their kid to get laid for the first time and want and be on TV and how they would sit around and, like, be chosen and how they would act like it was like a good. And like, they were all, like, happy hookers and stuff on the show. What I thought was fun fact, you know, interesting is the reason they're so far out there. Is there it's only legal in Nevada if the town is under a certain amount of population, which I'm thinking that's a horrible ratio, right? It should be the opposite.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So there's 7,000 people in the town, but there's five whorehouses. Like, what?

[A]

I know. And just trailers. Like, that's wild.

[B]

Trailers with, like, no air conditioning. And I'm just like, ugh.

[A]

I know. And then I look just seeing the bed that he was in. Because it was in, like, a museum now or something.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And just the bed was, like, some ugly bed. I'm like, oh. Everything about it seems like.

[B]

And then how the guy. I think he's passed that general guy, the guy that owned the.

[A]

Oh, the guy won't.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. How he, like, went on the Today show, and he was like, like. And don't forget to buy my book, the Art of a Pimp.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, on the Today show, they're, like, trying to get. Like. They're trying to get the scoop. And they're like, so tell us, like, how up, you know, Lamar Odom was when he almost died at your horror house or whatever. And then he's like, well, you know, he still wants to come back. He's still welcome to come back. We'd love to host him. We're gonna give him 50 off. Like, I was just like, what?

[A]

Had a good time. Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, wait. So Howard Stern. I just thought this was interesting. He doesn't have bizarre rules for stuff. It was an nd, so he has an executive assistant type that was assisting both of them, but in their home in Southampton, where it's like 20,000 square feet. So anyway, she's suing, saying that she was not treated right. And from what I found, it sounded like she only worked there for, like, a year and a half, and then

[A]

they let her go, making, like, $300,000.

[B]

Yes. But they also made her work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's not okay. Oh.

[A]

Oh, yeah, right. Okay. And then, of course, I read, like, it says it's bizarre rules, And I was like, I read them, and I'm

[B]

like, the rules were, at NDA, you

[A]

can't tell the restaurants they like to go to. You can't talk about things. Like, you like, well, oh, that was

[B]

the stuff in the NDA. Like, what? Just so. Well, someone tell me what it was like.

[A]

She didn't talk about the restaurants they like to go to. You can talk about the. Where they vacation. I'm like, well, that seems normal. Who would want to. You can't say that if you're. I don't know.

[B]

I mean, you see an article like this, and you're like, this is why they're probably going to get rich. People are probably going to get the robots.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it's like, even though that's scary as. But I'm like, I mean, after a certain point, you're like, I mean, if you, you know, oh, she looked at me funny. My boss looked at me funny. Oh, they, they said I had to, you know, come in on a Tuesday. And I was like, I'll come in when I want. Like, what's wrong with you horrible people? Like, it is like, so ridiculous. And then it was that she had all these cats and it made it sound like in the thing that there was like 20,000 cats running around the house. And it was like, no, they. They did have a fostering cat rescue, but that was part of her. She managed the house. So it was like, oh, she's suing because she had to manage the payroll. She had to manage the caterers coming. She had. Well, that was your job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there was no part of, like, the good old days where people accused Neil McCampbell of throwing a phone at their head.

[A]

That was when it was fun.

[B]

That was when it was fun. That was when you're like, some phones and then you're like, that sounds like you had a mean boss. Staying in the hamptons in a 20,000 square foot house and, you know, tending to a kitten.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Doesn't sound like a hellish ordeal and making 300,000 a year. But, you know, people have to make their money, I guess. Or maybe it's really true. How do you feel about the astronauts? They said New York Post wrote Artemis 2, astronaut Christina Koch's thirst traps from space set social media blaze, drop your arm routine. So as she's floating around and doing selfies with her hair in the air and the earth from the, you know. Yeah, she has some pretty good biceps. She's a workout girl. And so, you know, people are into it. I feel like no one cares about the story.

[A]

Oh. I mean, I was into it.

[B]

Okay. It's pretty cool. I.

[A]

So, I mean, they've gone farther into space than anyone has ever gone, ever.

[B]

Which is farther than the girls. Farther than Katy Perry.

[A]

Katy Perry went to, like, Glendale, you know. Yeah. Further than that.

[B]

Speaking of Katy Perry, Trudeau, her boyfriend's son. Former. He's not. Not currently the.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

And he. Anyway, the sun's, you know, he's. He's doing some podcasts. Okay, son. Just saying, like, Katie's like a nice.

[A]

He likes her.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And anyway, so they. It comes down in San Diego, which would always be. My God. Like, I would just be like. If I was an astronaut. Be like, I'm so excited to spend the weekend in San Diego. So they plop. They're going to come plopping down in that little cute thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In Friday.

[A]

So same as it was in the 70s.

[B]

Yeah. Just a little. It's that little pod.

[A]

Like the. I Dreamy Genie thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Remember the beginning? I dream of Genie.

[B]

He came.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Actually dreaming Genie's little dude like this.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Like these. These pink chairs and stuff.

[A]

I remember watching it as a kid, and I was like, her bottle looks so comfortable.

[B]

Me, too. I wanted to live in the bottle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then I was like, I want to go to the cocktail party. Like, why is he being such a dick?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it was. It was the same thing with I Love Lucy. Like, why can't Lucy be in the show? Like, you have a nightclub, you're performing every night. Let Lucy be in the show. You.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, like, same thing with this one. It was like, I dream of Genie. She's all cute, and she's like, master, can I go to the thing? And he's like, no, I'm going to the officer's dinner by myself.

[A]

Yeah. Sitcoms back then were just like, shut up, woman. It was wild.

[B]

Say, with Bewitched, she wanted to go do fun things, too. And he was like, no, I'm going to the advertising meeting by myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the thing about Bewitched that I said, one day, hopefully, in my lifetime, this will happen. Which it is not, was that she could get ready like that. Remember, she switched her nose and I'm like, oh. Every time I'd have to, like, start getting ready from scratch. I'm like, I wish I could just twitch my nose and be completely dressed. Hair, makeup, done.

[A]

That was good time.

[B]

Yeah. I've been doing this test recently with my phone.

[A]

Oh, yeah? What's that?

[B]

Well, you know how you go. You know you're talking about something, and then you. You're like, oh, I need to get. I want to get some patio furniture. And you talk to your friend about patio furniture, and then you go to the bathroom and you check my phone. It's all patio furniture.

[A]

I believe it's gotten to the point where it's actually. So I just think about.

[B]

So I've been doing that and it's happening, right? It's happening.

[A]

I know it's happening.

[B]

I'm not saying. I'm like. I'm Like. I'm like, I'll think about. I'm like, I kind of want to see a story about this person. And I'll just kind of go. And I'll open my phone, and it's like, the second one. Is it. And it's not the biggest story. It's not the biggest thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I won't say it. So I feel like the next thing is I'm going to be able to twitch my nose. We're getting there, and turn into Sabrina. And Peter's going to be able to take his gyrocopter into space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And hopefully not return.

[A]

I mean, I wonder if it's. You know, because these guys, these astronauts. There's three. Three Americans and a Canadian in of the four of them, and they all had to say goodbye to their families and stuff. I wonder if there's, like, one wife who'd be like, oh, Jesus, can this guy just.

[B]

Yeah. Because remember when the other people were gone for. For so long?

[A]

Yeah. The two of them.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm always like, are they, like, still. Are they friends? Are they talking? It was just like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you're just like, no, we're good.

[A]

Eventually, you got to move on with your life. Like, he passed away. When Helen Hunt, you know, she leaves, she thinks Hanks is dead. He comes back, she's married to Mr. Big Chris Knoth. Remember? Craziness.

[B]

God, I. Yeah. I always wonder about that, too. But I. Again, I've said it over. I never, ever want to go to space. When. No. When Sandra Bullock's character was, like, floating around by herself.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then she eventually did get to drop in. Into the pod or whatever. And I just heard her legs look so good. But I was just like. I just think how happy. I mean, I get happy when I can see lax.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm just like, we're so close. I can't imagine, like, being in space and then just being like, can we. How far off are we? San Diego. Well, San Diego is a beautiful place, and I hope they have a fun, cute weekend there.

[A]

I hope so, too. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They. Well, they went to. You know, but then. I'm not kidding. There are literally, like, you could see it all over the Internet. People, like, they're in Burbank. It's fake. They're in front of.

[B]

I know. Now people are like, shut up.

[A]

And, you know, it's just like, everything is. Nothing's real anymore. And maybe it's true. I don't know. But I thought it was pretty cool.

[B]

I Think. I think this is real. Yeah, I. The picture didn't look unique to me, though. They're like, oh, it's the back side of the moon. I'm like, okay. I don't know.

[A]

Well, everyone wants to see, like, an alien or something. Like, you know, that's what everyone wanted. You know, it's like, oh, this is boring. I want to see

[B]

something. Oh, there was some other guy that just was doing a podcast, talking about, yeah, they're the aliens. Yeah, we've talked to them or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I always think that the one really crazy story on the. On the tik tok Internet is when they thought, like, aliens took over that mall in Miami. Look it up. It is weird.

[A]

A mall in Miami. Like, they took it over.

[B]

It's just. It's so bizarre.

[A]

So what you're saying the only people going to malls now are aliens? At least somebody's going, where's the Jamba Juice?

[B]

Yeah, it was like. I don't know, though. It could all be fake, but it was like all these. And these people have talked about. And the same thing is. Remember the people that said there were these giant, like, figures, but they can, like, see through them. They're like 8 or 9ft tall, but they're not like solid beings. It's more like a. Like a. And they said they saw, like, in the backyard of the house in Las Vegas.

[A]

Yeah, well, those were. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But then what they say, too, is then something that's on your phone. And I've heard this from people not regarding alien stuff, where they film something that's very highly sensitive to something the government doesn't want us to know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they don't delete it, but it gets deleted.

[A]

Like a video really, like, without their.

[B]

Like, about certain people that, you know, were assassinated that some people think are not. Maybe not assassinated that way. People that had filmed it. It's no longer, like, on their phone.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

So I'm. So I go, let me see that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So let me go see that video that's been dismissed.

[A]

I mean, that's how crazy the world we live in.

[B]

It's a movie. We're living in a movie. So just enjoy it.

[A]

A few weeks ago, I think Barack Obama was on a podcast. Oh, yeah, there's definitely aliens out there.

[B]

And he's on. He's on, like, he's not on Joe Rogan. He's not on even Michelle Obama's. He didn't even save it for his wife podcast. He said it on, like, Timmy Toms. Or something. Timmy Toms in the sports Fridays.

[A]

It's like, what I know. And it just kind of went away. I'm like, people don't. That's. I feel like that's the biggest story of all time. People like, yeah, we got a guy who's got big tits over here.

[B]

Yeah. Nobody just. Nobody cares. They're like, yeah, people might or may or may not be eating babies and they're. But you know, and there may or may not be aliens here so quick. Because I feel like that's why I'm like, like, if you're in some like, like, you know, I said this on the other day where Blake Lively with. I, you know, everything that happened with her, I'm like, if she would have just ignored some of the shit she was reading online.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

A year and a half ago. Like, it was. She just, she thought the whole world was. It's like, give it six days.

[A]

Nobody can.

[B]

I think it's literally down to six days and it's like over with like, Taylor, Frankie, Paul, that whole story. She's in court today. They have mutual restraining orders against each other. She's able to see the little boy. Supervised visits for eight hours a week. It's gonna work out. They should stay the. Away from each other. They did it. Virtually everyone's like, who cares about that story anymore?

[A]

I mean, honestly. And you and I, we live in this world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We look at this stuff. People who don't, like, they're not in like a world of pop culture. They really don't care.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll bring these stories up to like my friends who cat in casual, like, like, who's Frankie Taylor Paul? I'm like, oh, let me tell you. Like, I didn't. Why would I know that? I'm like, I don't know. It's just a. I know I'm not out there.

[B]

Yeah. And okay, the last one is this water polo star. This was a store we talked about.

[A]

Yeah. Harvard Westlake. It's a school down the street here. My wife went there and a lot of people.

[B]

Very expensive, co ed, private, non religious school that's been around a long time.

[A]

Yeah. It's a very exclusive private school here in Los Angeles.

[B]

$52,000 and basically a year. And basically this young man is suing the school. And I believe the, the guy that he was his bully, his assaulter, everything. It was water polo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and I, as someone who had a sudden play water polo, I mean, it is skimpy outfits. It is very, very skimpy. And it's like, you're watching. You're there and you're like, I don't even know if I feel okay sitting here. Here?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, watching all these young bodies. Like, it is. It's weird. It's. I mean, they should be able to do it, but like, so the, this, this guy, this kid is black and, you know, and they would say racial things to him, but then they also digitally penetrated him. So I guess with their fingers, they would go up while he's taking a shower. I don't know what they were doing. And this one guy in particular had written text. Text kind of admitting to it being like, oh, I'm sorry. And the lawsuit, of course you want to sue the kid, but you also. They're suing the school. They're saying the school didn't do enough. And I'm like, you know, that's why you pay for a private school. Well, so that you kid does not get harassed and bullied. Like, are you kidding?

[A]

That's what people saying now. Like, can you imagine paying $52,000 a year to still have this stuff happen?

[B]

Yeah, I understand. When you're, you know, that's why you're like, I mean, I used to look at, like, public schools when I was in high school and. And like, there was a movie called 1984 and it was like punkers and

[A]

I was like, Michael J. Fox.

[B]

Yeah, it looked, it looked like a prison. Like, so you were like, no, I can't send my daughter to go to the prison. Like, she's got to go Lean on

[A]

Me with Morgan Freeman. Remember that movie? Like, just the hallways were just this fires burning.

[B]

Yeah. Just like people fighting. I'm like, God, and you wonder why people are like, you know what? Maybe we could do homeschooling now with the help of AI and computers. Like, maybe I don't need my kid being digitally penetrated for $52,000 a year. Like, I get it, but I hate that, that, that the teachers just. And that's a problem. Like, there's been stories where, you know, these rich kids, their parents that like, donate so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you going to do when there's a dispute between two kids? You're going to get rid of the person that gives you an extra 500 grand.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or the one that was like, paying the normal amount or maybe even on scholarship.

[A]

I mean, I kind of live in this world a little bit, you know, I mean, my daughter goes to one of the school that is the feeder school to this school. More or less.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So the hope is that one day my daughter will be digitally penetrated. I mean, I guess in a water polo game.

[B]

You know, speaking of my old school, St. Mal's, they did a thing on the Today show with Bryan Cranston and Jenna Hager. Bush.

[A]

Jenna Bush Hager.

[B]

Oh, Jenner Bush Hager. Yeah. And it was like, are you lying or not? Or something. Some little game they were playing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she was like, what did you get? Where did you get your first Holy Communion? Or something like that. And Bryan Cranston goes, oh, I was nine and it was Saint Mel's. And she starts laughing and she's like, obviously you're lying. There's no school called Saint Mel's. And he's like, no, there is a Saint Mel's in Woodland Hills. I don't think he did it, but he just. Just. He was telling the lie and thought of the school because he grew up in state Woodland Hills or something like that. And. Yeah, so it's just like. I don't know. That was my school statement. It does exist. But still.

[A]

Still going.

[B]

Still going. But it was always such a. It was such a weird name. It does seem like it's a fake name, but there is a St. Melvin, that's why.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But people would be like, St. Mel smells. You know, that's always nice to harass people. But I don't know what's gonna happen to this kid. He had to move to Spain.

[A]

Well, the other kids moved to Spain.

[B]

The other kid moved to Spain so he could still do water polo and. And I guess be far away, many seas away from this guy swimming up his asshole.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, sports, I've never been. You know, I was never into sport. I mean, I like sports, but I was never good enough to be on, like, a team. So. No, I feel like all sports, there's some sort of weird, you know, like. I don't know what you would call it that. I don't know if this is like, rough would be. Not that I'm not. I'm not saying it's good or bad, you know, good, but it's like a rough housing thing or something. I don't know. It's weird.

[B]

It is weird.

[A]

I feel like there's a culture in sports that is like. I mean, that kind of vibe.

[B]

I think that the idea of putting your kid into sports is good because it builds teamwork and working together, but it also breeds, like, a really competitive person. But it also leads to rape and murder. Yeah, it also leads, like, you know, like cheerleading. Remember the cheerleading mom person. Where their daughter didn't make the squad or something. So she, like, set out to, like, kill the other girl so there'd be a spot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I remember I didn't make the cheerleading squad. And the day I found out, I was just, like, devastated. And my mom was.

[A]

So why didn't you make. Because you weren't a good cheerleader or you didn't have the look or what was it?

[B]

I'll tell you exactly why you didn't have the moves. I'll tell you exactly why. It's okay. So it was Crespi. So all the Louisville girls tried out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it was jv. We were all. Only sophomores were on the JV team. And then juniors and seniors were on the. On the senior varsity team. And so many juniors were coming back to be on the varsity. There was only four spots.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there was, like, nine of us trying out for four spots. Okay. And we had to try out in front of the guys. The guys were voting for us. Yeah.

[A]

The football.

[B]

We're like, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And that's very strange.

[B]

Yes. Because I don't have a boyfriend. I. You know, I. I was told I was beautiful by two people in my life. My parents. But apparently I wasn't.

[A]

No, let's not.

[B]

I've seen the photos. Anyway, I.

[A]

On a scale from 1 to 10 around that time, what are you.

[B]

I think it was solid. 5.756.

[A]

No, you're higher than that. I've seen some of the early pictures. You're definitely higher.

[B]

I don't. I. I was. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, I had these chicken legs. This one guy told me, I used to watch your cheer. And I thought, how does she stand?

[A]

How can it possibly. Those things work?

[B]

That's what he said. I was like, wow. So I had a lot of issues with which kind of socks I wanted to wear.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now I. I just go, I don't care. And I'm wearing the, like, the kind that don't even show, that go just under your ankle. But I thought almost like a leg warmy type of would. Would balance out my tiny ankle like a scrunch.

[A]

Like a scrunchie Hooters waitress.

[B]

Yes. And then they were like, well, you can't be the only one wearing these weird socks, Heather.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

We all have, like. Like, you know, sexy little normal sized legs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. So then I did the thing and I was, like, so stressed. I hadn't eaten. I was so nervous to do this dumb routine with my friend who was the hottest. Heather.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In all of the San Fernando Valley. And then there was just me, the Heather McDonald one.

[A]

What? Do you know who. What's become of the hot Heather?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm friends with her still.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

She's still hot.

[A]

Okay. Okay, that's good.

[B]

So she still looks great. Okay. So anyway, so then we do the routine, and I feel like we have to, like, answer questions of, like, why we want to be the cheerleader with these guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I start to feel, like, nauseous, and I run, and they. Then they're like, oh, she's an anorexic with those legs. But I just really wasn't animal because I just felt, like, so scared and nerves. I was gonna throw up. So then that was, like, on a Thursday. And then we're gonna find out on Monday. So the next Friday, we go to a party. We were always at people's part. Everyone always had parties. People. Parents were gone, and we could always find a party off of Wells. Okay. You just drove down Wells and saw, you know, Trans Ams parked somewhere, and you're like, let's go. So then I was at this party, and I see the daughter of. Who's trying out for cheerleading as well, whose mother is the head of the whole cheerleading thing. And I see her, and I'm like, hi, Penny. And she's like. Like, she just avoiding the eye contact.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I was like, that's happened to me now a few more times in life. And I detect it now. Yeah, yeah, I know.

[A]

You're older and wiser.

[B]

You're off the. And then that day, we had to drive to the school and see the list, and my friend went and called me, and she's like, you and I both didn't make it. And I bawled, crying. But then it was like, you know, the first time I experienced, you know, life's rejection is God's protection. And my mom was like, you're not good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was the first time she was honest about my time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She's like, you really should be, like, singing and doing acting. And, like, you can't do that if you're on this squad. But also, so the. So four of the hotter people got it right. And then when the other people left, then they needed people. Senior year, then that same daughter came and said, I really think you should try out, because now we could use you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, no, too late.

[A]

No doubt on these.

[B]

I'm going to act and sing and do a, you know, night mother. I'm going to do music Man.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Pick a little. Tuck a little. Pick a little. Pick a little taco. No, not doing it.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

Go. Yeah. And that was the story. So, yeah, it's. It was stressful.

[A]

Well, I made the football team. You did? Eighth grade. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I think they took everybody and I made the team, which was. That was where the embarrassment began for me because they had broken us up into two squads. The people who played and the people who didn't play. And I was on the people who didn't play squad. And one day we were playing a game against the other school, who's. Losers. Each other. The losers were playing the losers.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And one of the dads of the good players came to that game thinking it was a real game. Okay. And I was standing on the sidelines. I don't think I had pads. Like, they had run out of pads. And they were like, well, just. He doesn't need pads. He's never going to get in the game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was just standing in, like, in a uniform, but no pads underneath it.

[B]

You're basically destroying today's Lululemons.

[A]

Yeah, more or less. And then the father comes, and the other good players are there in regular clothes. They're not playing. They're like, we're just coming to watch the loser game. And the father comes walking up and he says, where's Tony, my son? And one of the kids who's on the good team turn. He goes, this is. Your son's. Not here. This game's for the losers. And he pointed to me like these. As I was the loser. Like, it's for these people. Look at him. He's so. Look at his body. Like, he's not an athlete. And he. So I was the reference point of the loser. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay, so now I'd make. So you're better off not making the team.

[B]

I think my earliest memory is it was like kindergarten or first grade. And you know how they would teach you how to hold a pencil? I just did it my own way, which was like this. And they brought someone into, like, observe the school.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was just writing my own. With my own. Like, this is the way. Instead of writing like this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wrote like this. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just wrote like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was doing it. And this girl goes, look at that. Look at how they. Look at how she's holding her. Her pencil. She must be retarded.

[A]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[B]

What's wrong with her?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I was like. And then I was like, okay. Mom, I guess I have to learn how everyone else writes now because I

[A]

was like, so you're bullied into, you know, doing it, right?

[B]

Exactly. Chris. Where can everyone see you again?

[A]

Oh, my God. You guys know the place. Buffalo helium. Next week, April 15, Comedy Bar in Toronto. Comedy at the Carlson Rochester. April 17, New York Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut. April 30, brokerage Belmore, Long Island. May 1st and 2nd, and Nashville, Zanies. May 29th and 30th. Frangola.Fun has all my dates go there. Come out, see me live up close. Free meet and greets. Everything. I do it all. I come out and meet the people. I hang out. We have a lot of fun. And I don't know how much more I have in me, you know, like, road flying across the country and all.

[B]

Cher's been saying that for a long time. I try to threaten them. I try to threaten them.

[A]

You gotta threaten them.

[B]

But.

[A]

And then you and I. May 9th.

[B]

May 9th, which I'm looking for. Fun. So much fun. And heathermcdonald.net for me. And you know you love my.

[A]

Is there an after party on May 9th?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

But here's what I want to know.

[B]

What?

[A]

Like, for real. Like a real after party. Not just me, you, and Brandy and Julie sitting at a table. I'm talking like Netflix after party.

[B]

All right, well, let me find out.

[A]

Yeah. Because there probably is, because it's like another place. Yeah.

[B]

Where the other people will want us.

[A]

I feel like there's a bunch of different shows going on that.

[B]

Right. I know.

[A]

Town.

[B]

And not all of them are sold out.

[A]

No, I know. I, I, that's. Congratulations. That's a, that's great.

[B]

Well, I mean, I feel very lucky, but I love that I have my favorites and you guys are, are going to be there, and I think that also helps. And I'm just. Yeah, I'm relieved. Yeah, I'm relieved because I just didn't know what that would look like when, you know, all these other hot youngins.

[A]

The reason I bring up after parties because, I mean, I don't think I've been to that part of where Avalon is the Hollywood.

[B]

Okay, I'll make sure.

[A]

Hollywood proper. I don't think I've been there in 20 years.

[B]

Okay, well, well, I will try to get us to invite to a real party. If not, we're gonna have our own party.

[A]

But I want it to be like a Hollywood party. Like, we show up as people. Paparazzi popping.

[B]

Oh, I can make that happen. Okay.

[A]

Please do.

[B]

Okay, thanks.

[A]

Oh, I mean, the last time I can call them, I went to your 10 year and there was a paparazzi thing out front.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we had all that.

[A]

Yeah, I know. And I got stuck behind the dance moms. She shows up in her wheelchair, took her 45 minutes to get down the sidewalk and I'm stuck behind her.

[B]

You were the star that night, don't you worry.

[A]

Thank you very much.

[B]

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