Comedienne Jiaoying Summers, From China to Standup Comedy and Motherhood

Summary

Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

Episode: Comedienne Jiaoying Summers, From China to Standup Comedy and Motherhood

Host: Heather McDonald
Guest: Jiaoying Summers
Date: November 4, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Juicy Scoop features stand-up comedian Jiaoying Summers, whose Hulu special releases on November 8. Jiaoying and Heather dive deep into Jiaoying’s extraordinary journey from rural China and its restrictive policies, through culture clashes and personal adversity in the US, to her current success as a comedian and mother. The conversation explores China's one-child policy, family trauma, toxic relationships, motherhood, building a comedy career as a woman of color, and ultimately, redemption and self-determination.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Life in China under the One-Child Policy

• Family Disappointment: Jiaoying describes being unwanted at birth because she was not a son, detailing the intensity of traditional preferences for male children (04:24).
• Almost Given Away: Her mother nearly allowed Jiaoying to be adopted by another family, a decision she later reversed in a dramatic moment (04:57).
• Cultural Pressures: Her mother constantly reminded her of this circumstance, holding it over her during childhood (05:15).
• Policy Effects: Discussion of gender imbalance due to the policy—how surplus men in rural areas led to women demanding extensive dowries, and even the status of "ugly girls" changed (06:55).

Jiaoying Summers [06:57]: "So there's so much more male and less female. Therefore, a lot of rural areas are men. They can't afford to have a wife. So all the ugly bitches. They are demanding... five cars, five houses."

International Perceptions

• The adoption of Chinese girls by foreigners and the government’s strict sterilization and birth control measures (09:06-09:40).
• Jiaoying explains how policy backfired, leading to severe gender imbalance and eventual government encouragement for bigger families (10:09).

2. Beauty Standards and Childhood Trauma

• Rigid Standards: Jiaoying shares how Chinese beauty ideals excluded her—big cheeks, lips, and dark skin—leading to bullying and exclusion from school plays (10:56–13:11).
• Mother’s Harshness: Her mother was a “tiger mom” who believed negative reinforcement and insults would toughen her up (11:59).
• Colorism and Classism: Preference for pale skin linked to social status; dark skin on women was considered unattractive, while for men, it signified hard work (12:01).

Jiaoying Summers [11:40]: "Very young, I was three. She would just tell me, your lips are like a dumpling lips, you know, suck your lips in. Because big lips is ugly."

3. Coming to America

• Inspiration to Move: Hollywood films changed how Jiaoying saw beauty and herself; American diversity inspired her dreams (17:24-19:52).
• Self-Reliance: She deliberately studied business/finance to support herself and avoid artistic compromise for survival (17:24).
• Parental Resistance: Mother wanted her to study literature at China’s top university, but she defied those plans for the US (19:52–20:16).
• Culture Clash: Notably, what was considered ugly or unremarkable in China (her appearance) was seen as beautiful in America (20:00).

4. Experiences in Chinese Entertainment

• Ruthless Expectations: Offered TV/film work in China, she was told to get jaw surgery, bleach her skin, and was subjected to harsh criticism (20:08–21:49).
• Personal Boundaries: Ultimately, she refused to physically change for roles and decided to leave the industry (21:19).

5. Marriage, Motherhood, and Escape

• Toxic Marriage: Jiaoying married an affluent older Chinese man; initial “love bombing” devolved into verbal abuse, body shaming, and isolation (24:29–25:53).
• Motherhood: Gave birth to her first child in China; became motivated to build a financial and personal foundation to break free (27:30-28:22).
• Standup Pivot: Encouraged by director John Singleton to pursue stand-up as a career and self-expression (28:22–29:07).

6. Building a Career in Comedy

• Strategic Leap: Bought her own comedy club in LA to rack up stage time, hosting 10 open mics a day (29:17–30:11).
• Viral Social Media: During COVID-19 lockdown, developed her act via social media, especially TikTok, where authenticity and cultural commentary resonated (34:28–35:46).
• Navigating Industry Bias: Faced doubts and jealousy, accused by peers of benefiting from diversity initiatives, but ticket sales and viral growth proved her merit (52:49–53:01).

Jiaoying Summers [43:22]: "My suffering and my joy is universal. Being a daughter, being a mother, being the eldest daughter is universal. And that's—I'm just a human. I happen to be yellow and I happen to be a woman."

7. Hardships, Single Motherhood, and Redemption

• Divorce and Survival: Left her abusive husband after a violent altercation—her mother intervened, forcing him out (55:12–56:43).
• Financial Struggles: Sold jewelry, luxury goods, and worked tirelessly to support her children while building her act (57:37–59:39).
• Breakthrough: Selling out shows and moving into bigger venues was a financial turning point, allowing stability for her children (59:51–60:23).
• Mom Guilt: Openly discusses immense guilt and conscious attempts to balance her career and children’s needs (61:38–62:21).

Jiaoying Summers [64:50]: "I knew you were a good mom...if you have to make the sacrifice, you cannot do everything."

8. Finding Love and Self-Acceptance

• New Relationship: Found love with a tour cameraman in Austin, who was notably respectful and slow-paced compared to previous “love bombers” (66:24–71:35).
• Recovery After a DUI: Opened up about a DUI incident—how her new boyfriend supported her, her experience in AA, and her mother’s relief that she survived (72:13–74:53).
• Tour Life as a Mom: Touring with children, integrating family time into travel, visualizing a future with more stability and selectivity (77:16–78:59).
• Female Comedy Camaraderie: Insights about which female comedians support each other, spotlighting Nikki Glaser and Margaret Cho’s generosity (45:56–46:48).

Jiaoying Summers [45:56]: "The unfunny female comics, they are very toxic towards me. The good ones, they are so nice to me. The one who's successful, who made it, who had their name. They were just extremely nice..."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Her Upbringing:
  "I was told my father took me to the dumpster...my mother, when my father gave me to the other family, she just, she regretted and she, she started screaming and she ran out and she, she took me back."
  – Jiaoying Summers (04:46)

• On Chinese Beauty Standards:
  "Big lips is ugly. In China they want girls to have little baby bird lips."
  – Jiaoying Summers (11:40)

• On American Beauty:
  "I started watching the women in Hollywood movies...dark-skinned, beautiful woman, Latina woman, black woman...Why am I ugly?...I'm going to America."
  – Jiaoying Summers (17:24–18:24)

• On Career Strategy:
  "I wanted to learn how to do business, how to make money so I can use the money I make to fix myself as an artist."
  – Jiaoying Summers (17:24)

• On Social Media and Comedy:
  "The thing I talk about, my real life, my struggle, the culture differences, those are the stuff that worked that they go viral. So I think social media helped me find my voice in a year rather than 10 years."
  – Jiaoying Summers (35:04–35:46)

• On Domestic Abuse and Leaving Her Husband:
  "[He] choked me. The moment he started choking me, I took a cutting board and smashed his head...I filed for divorce next day."
  – Jiaoying Summers (55:12–56:12)

• On Female Comedian Solidarity:
  "People like Nikki Glaser, Margaret Cho...they're just extremely nice. And they have nothing to gain from being nice to me."
  – Jiaoying Summers (45:56)

• On Guilt and Motherhood:
  "I have so much mom guilt. I really do...But you have to pay your dues. I work every weekend because I want to get there in two years, not in five years. Because I miss their childhood."
  – Jiaoying Summers (61:38–62:08)

• Newfound Love:
  "He wanted to get to know me. I was offended. All my friends are like, I think maybe he's a nice guy. He's not love bombing you."
  – Jiaoying Summers (71:32)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Segment Description | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Introduction and Jiaoying’s background | 02:01–04:24 | | The trauma and effects of China’s one-child policy | 04:24–09:15 | | Cultural beauty standards, colorism, and early ambition | 10:56–13:11 | | Coming to America—the dream and first steps | 17:24–20:16 | | Chinese entertainment industry trauma | 20:08–21:49 | | Toxic marriage and decision to leave | 24:29–28:22 | | Stand-up as salvation and buying her own comedy club | 28:22–30:11 | | Career strategy during Covid, social media growth | 34:28–35:46 | | Confronting industry bias and critics | 52:49–53:01 | | Divorcing and financial hardship | 55:12–59:39 | | Career breakthrough and personal balance | 59:51–61:38 | | Mom guilt, motherhood, and balancing comedy | 61:38–63:34 | | Finding healthy love | 66:24–71:35 | | DUI story, AA meetings, and support from new boyfriend | 72:13–75:44 | | Tour logistics, integrating family travel | 76:29–79:00 | | Reflections on motherhood and career | 64:50–65:36 |

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Closing Thoughts

Jiaoying Summers’ story is one of perseverance, fiery humor, and transformation—transcending oppressive childhood, navigating immigrant struggles, and confronting abuse, all while launching herself as a unique comedic voice. Her openness about trauma, motherhood, and business savvy is deeply inspiring. Heather offers warmth, solidarity, and seasoned perspective, making for a conversation that's raw, relatable, and often hilarious.

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Where to Find Jiaoying Summers

• Hulu Special: Premieres November 8
• Instagram: @jiaoyingsummers
• Tour Dates: jiaoyingcomedy.com

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Heather McDonald [79:00]:
"That is so great. It's so lovely meeting you. And I really loved, like, our heart to heart and getting to know you so well."

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Heather McDonald]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Heather McDonald]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Heather McDonald]

Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales, her real life Mr. Segment, cereal data and Cereal Sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in. Listen up. Woo.

[Heather McDonald]

Woo.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Hannah McDonald, juice sister.

[Heather McDonald]

Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I wanna introduce you guys to Zhao Ying Sommers, a hilarious female. We have to always say female before stand up. God forbid. Standup comic who I met a little while ago on a fun boat day and your special is coming out November 8th on Hulu and you're gorgeous and funny. Welcome.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you so much. You are gorgeous and funny. I literally just left Sacramento Punchline and your face is on the wall and I said zing. That is. He's like, oh my gosh, she's so stunning. You have to dress up for her. You Know as I got lazy recently and my fan complained that I saw she dressed up and she looked like a mop.

[Heather McDonald]

Really?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. I said, I'm gonna have to glam up for Heather. I'm very excited.

[Heather McDonald]

You know what's really funny about the female standup dressing up? So when I started, you know, it was like, very conservative. Everybody was wearing, like pants and like pantsuits. And this is like the. In the 90s or they were like grunge, which grunge was. I don't know if you know what grunge is, but it was like, not flattering. My worst. Cause I was like glam sorority girl. But I still always kind of like never showed my legs. Always just wore like, I'd wear like skinny jeans and a blouse and whatever. And then in the last, like five years, a lot of the newer up and coming, younger female comics have gotten glammed up. You, Hannah Burner, Like, I love that you dress up and you're like, this outfit, is this from the special?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, I designed it with my designer. I told her I want a Chinese Qipao inspired dress, and she made this for me. So we hand. There's a snake. I'm a snake. That's my zodiac sign. And so here's a snake. And she designed that. Gold means money. Red is the China red. Lucky color. So we designed this outfit.

[Heather McDonald]

I think it's great.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, you know, no reason to diminish being beautiful or sexy. But definitely in the group of female comics that came up with me, there was that for sure in the beginning to just because it was like, well, if you're too sexy, like, that'll be distracting from the jokes or, you know, you'll look like you're just trying to just. That's all you're good for is, like showing your sexiness. So I think. I love it that you can be so yourself. Tell us a little bit about your background. Where did you. Where did you come from?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I'm from China. Grew up in China. I was born in the 90s. We had one child policy. So basically you can only have one child. And Chinese family, they are very traditional. They want to make sure they have a son to carry out the family oppression. So when I was born, everyone was so disappointed. And I was told my father took me to the dumpster. He took me to.

[Heather McDonald]

Is this all true?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That's all true.

[Heather McDonald]

This is not part of the.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, that. That was the plan. It turns out it was actually. There's a family was going to take me because you can't have kids. They just, that's.

[Heather McDonald]

But another Chinese girl.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They'll take a girl, but. Yeah, they'll take a girl. But my, my mom just, they just told me the story was. They took me to dumpster. I think my mother, when my father gave me to the other family, she just, she regretted and she, she started screaming and she ran out and she, she took me back.

[Heather McDonald]

How long were you at the other family's house?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, they didn't leave. I didn't leave. They were there, they were ready to take me. But that was basically, it's a very rural area. They may sell me to someone, so I don't really know what I would end up. But thank God my mother, she want to keep me, but she made sure make sure that I know it every day whenever I do something wrong, she goes, I brought you back from the dumpster. You can't get a. A minus is not a number one. Did she.

[Heather McDonald]

Are your parents still here?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

My mother actually she moved from China to America, I think when my daughter was about born to come to America to help me because I just got a divorce. So she's actually living with me now. My mother moved to.

[Heather McDonald]

What happened to your dad?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He's still in China. We are trying to get him here eventually. He is a very severe alcoholic. But now he stopped drinking, which is great because he had a stroke. That helped.

[Heather McDonald]

But your mom is still married?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They're still married. The Chinese people just don't. They don't believe in divorce because they believe in suffering. They wanted to suffer because the more you'll suffer, you get a better life. That means if you stay married, you'll suffer more and you have a better life. The next life.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, then I'm definitely gonna have a great life. Okay, so with that story, I have a little. Some historical questions. When did that policy come into play in China?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I think it was 80s, around the 80s because China found out that our population is too large. But India didn't care. India don't give a fuck. They keep having babies. India has more kids now. More, more population now than China. But the Chinese policy wanted to control the population. So they want every family only have one child. But the Chinese are so traditional.

[Heather McDonald]

So when they haven't like backfired, aren't.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They saying, oh yes, for sure it backfired. Is the, the, the gender is imbalanced. There's so much more male and less female. Therefore a lot of rural areas are men. They. They can't afford to have a wife. So all the Ugly bitches. They are demanding, you know, you have ugly daughter and five brothers. She. She'll demand five. Five cars, five houses.

[Heather McDonald]

For real.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So. So she can get married and then her brothers can get by the house and cars and. I mean, they are so powerful. Not the ugly girls. Even the ugly ones.

[Heather McDonald]

Really? That is amazing. So, you know, it's interesting. There was just a weird time in history where there was like a lot of talk of overpopulation. And my mom had five kids and I was the fifth. And she said one day during that, like, talk of the news, it was like viral news stories of overpopulations. She was at the grocery store with all five kids, you know, and we were within 10 years to like the. So the oldest would be like nine and I'd be like an infant. And she said on more than one occasion, someone would come up to her right here in the Valley, Louisiana, and say, how dare you overpopulate the world like this with your kids?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

People are so annoying.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, it's just whatever is in the news, you know, it's like, you know, I just saw a funny video that was like, you know, if the health people came from the. You know, there was a time when they said, eat the eggs. And they said, don't eat the eggs. And they said, only eat the egg whites. Now they say, no, you can eat the whole egg. Like, there's just things where we don't really know what's going on. So with that, did they really. They really did send like the little girls down the river. Right.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

For the families? Because you can only have one child. Once you have a girl, you will never be allowed to have a boy anymore. So whenever someone have a girl, they hide the girl for someone. They can send their girl to the relatives to hide it. They can hide that or someone. They just don't have a choice. They leave the girls by the trash can or by the river. There's the dead girl that.

[Heather McDonald]

When other countries were then starting to.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Adopt the girls, most girls got adopted. In the big cities they would have the chance, but in the rural area, they don't really have access for adoption.

[Heather McDonald]

For international adoption.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, they just got rid of the girls so they can have a chance to have a boy.

[Heather McDonald]

So what if then you have your girl and you're keeping your girl and you get pregnant again and you do have a boy, Then who gets the boy?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

You don't get to get pregnant. You. They will forcefully sterilize you.

[Heather McDonald]

So after your mom had you, she had to go to the doctor and they had to sterilize her in a lower case.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Like in a lot of case that you basically they are going to get birth control device in you that is really, really like severe. And if you don't learn from your lessons, you get stereotyped stereotypes. If you find out you are hiding kids, oh is it like there's sometimes they will inject to your stomach when they found out you are having a second child without permission.

[Heather McDonald]

I swear we're gonna get to the funny stuff, but I just, this is just fascinating.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

It's very sad because.

[Heather McDonald]

So when did it is, what's the policy now? When did it change?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

China wanted more kids? No, when did it switch? Like around time, after late 90s, mid late 90s. It switched because the gender imbalance become a problem and the human trafficking become a problem. People are taking advantage of the little girls and that become a problem. So the government canceled that. And now because it's so expensive to raise kids and send them to education, a lot of younger Chinese people, they don't want kids. And now Chinese government is encouraging couples to have two kids. They'll pay you money to have second kid, third kid.

[Heather McDonald]

Wow.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

See it changes.

[Heather McDonald]

Like I knew, I knew some of this, but you really explained it well. So when growing up in this rural area as an only child, when and how did you come over to America?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I, I don't know. I, I, I was told a thing about for example, being a girl, you have to be quiet, you have to be sweet, you have to be obedient. That's the, the attractive traits of being a girl. I happen to be a very loud girl. I, I want attention. I, I was ambitious and I, I wanted to be all the school place. I was, I like to read and study. But I was told that in Chinese beauty standard, I'm too ugly to be in any school place because of my big cheeks, my big lips. And I like to be in the sun. So I'm dark. I don't believe it. I just, I said, but I, I don't think I'm ugly. My mom said it's the gender. Like your faces look like a pretty boy. You can be a good looking man, but as a girl you're just not.

[Heather McDonald]

Saying that to you. At what age?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I very young, I was three. She would just tell me, your lips are like a dumpling lips, you know, suck your lips in. Because big lips is ugly. In China they want girls to have little baby bird lips like this. Like big lips is like girls with all lips. People just think we are like, so.

[Heather McDonald]

Was your mom the, the epitome of a tiger mom?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, she definitely is.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I got, I got whooped every day for breathing. She, she. I didn't believe it. I, I saw, I didn't. I thought she was lying to me. But then I want to wear pink the dresses and all the girls would throw egg at me, be like, go back to Africa. That's how racist they were against. Even like, I'm a Chinese girl. I'm not even dark. I look Filipina at most. And the colorism is insane because. Not really about the racism, more about the classism. Because in, in Chinese history, they favor fair skin, light skin. Because if you have light skin means you never went to the farm. So being rich, you know, classism, like you. Yeah. Being wealthy is considered attractive. So if your skin's dark, it means you are a farmer. You are not attractive. So I was born with dark skin because I look like my dad. My dad had dark skin. But if you are a man, you have dark skin. That means you work hard, it's attractive. But as a woman, you have to be hidden in the room. You never seen the sun because your family is wealthy, you don't have to work. And I, I just, I had no idea. I. I couldn't audition for any school plays and I auditioned for Mulan and I. They told me, you can play Mulan's father.

[Heather McDonald]

That's in China.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

In China, I was playing Mulan's father. That's because my big cheeks, they were like, you are a man. I always was called a man now. I finally just stopped trying to be cute. I still felt I'm cute, but I kind of got my hair short and I start wearing cool boys outfit. I didn't felt bad. I just thought they were not ready for me. I didn't think I was ugly, but it was sad. I wanted to be popular. I want to wear the pink dresses. That's why now I'm a big girl. Now I want to wear all the beautiful dresses. I want to be a girl. I want to have my long hair. Finally. Speaking of, I enjoy so much.

[Heather McDonald]

I saw in your Instagram really great clips that you share. Everyone should follow her. But you had someone in the audience who was from Thailand and you were like, oh, did you check the. And you just touched the middle of your throat for like the Adam's apple. Since we're just talking about history and what's true and what's not, is it really true that 1 out of 10 boys is sort of sent to be a lady boy?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, in Thailand. Because sometimes in Asian culture, like for example, if you date a Chinese boyfriend, a real Chinese boyfriend. Chinese, Chinese. Once you start dating engaged, the boy is going to get you 10 sets of gold jewelries and the four going to get you.

[Heather McDonald]

Sorry, what?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Jewelries. Gold jewelries. And it's his responsibility to buy an apartment.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

For you as a commitment. Like engaged, married, the boy has to buy a house for the girl and him and he has to buy a car. Like it's just your responsibility. If you can't buy a house in a car, you can't find a wife. That's in Asian culture is that commitment is security. You have to give the woman the security.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So she can commit her life to you. So same in Thailand is the same Asian culture. Is that a lot of rural area. In Thailand the boys, they are born, they would not their family have two or three boys. They can't afford to get a wife for the second boy because they can only afford one house, one car. So the second boy would become a. A guy who never get married. So it's cheaper to make this boy a lady boy so they can perform and entertain and make money and make a living for. For himself or herself or themselves. I don't know how to say that.

[Heather McDonald]

But so even so they start raising them as a lady boy. It's not like the child is see myself as a girl.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, it's the family don't have a choice because they want to make sure this, this boy would not have to be starving and they can't find it. Can't. Because in Chinese culture if you do any.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you know, do any of the lady boys ever like escape and go back to being a guy?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I think, I think there definitely there are.

[Heather McDonald]

Wow.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. They you know, is the biggest problem in Asian culture is if a family had a son and they don't have the ability to get gets the money and security for the son to get married. For a son to not get married. And the family, the parents blame themselves. It's very, it's for the rural area, the big cities, they don't care. The kids, they never get married. They don't like they, they're bringing like their minds are more open. You know, they respect their kids. A lot of Chinese young kids, they are very open minded and they don't want to get married. There's. Yeah, there's people are gays and there are lesbians and they want to live their life. But in the rural area they don't Know anything more than okay, if I cannot get my son a wife, I'm just gonna do what.

[Heather McDonald]

What about the eight? What about the robots? What about just getting like a robot wife?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They want sons. They wanted to have like, they wanted to have the son to marry their wife and have a baby.

[Heather McDonald]

To have a real.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Have a real baby.

[Heather McDonald]

But I'm saying, do you know of any like young men that just say, forget it?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, for sure.

[Heather McDonald]

I'm just gonna get this like robot or that or this like, you know.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. A lot in Japan.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, oh, like, you know, where they look like a sex doll. Like a sex doll, but they're like high end.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I think so. That will be for people in the, in the big cities, Cosmopolitan, my gosh. Like wealthy kids who. Yeah, some, some men, they give up on women. They. They want a sex doll who is very submissive, can do whatever they want.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, yeah. What are you gonna do? Sit in the corner? She can't get up and go out with her friends for a four hour brunch.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

If she's sitting and she's a doll. Yeah. So.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Okay.

[Heather McDonald]

So how old did you come over here then?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I was 18 and I wanted to come to America. I wanted. I was planning for four years before I was 18. When I was 14, I already knew I want to come to America because my. My mom was helping with her. Her little. Her niece, she was, she was much older than me. She was 10 years older than me. Denise, she got married when she was 22 and that she wanted to open a business. Is a, Is a video rental, like a little movie, the CD rental business. My mother helped him with it. It was near her restaurant. She said, I help you with. You have to babysit Jiao Ying after he come from school, you know, after middle school, you have to help with her homework and let her sit in your business. So I stayed there my whole time. I was selling Japanese porn to people because we have the parent of Japanese porn. They were just like, I watch. It's all in China still in China. I was selling Japanese porn film. I was 11. I just said the porn CD and they gave me money and I do my homework and I started to watch the Hollywood movies. I started watching the woman women, dark skinned, beautiful woman, Latina woman, black woman in the movies. And I just was, they are beautiful. They got beautiful cheekbones, they got dark skin and big lips and. But obviously they are so beautiful. Why am I ugly? Like, what's wrong with this Beauty standards fucked up. So I said, I can still do Acting, I just cannot be in China. They are not ready for me. I got to go to Hollywood, I'm going to America. But I can't tell my mom that because she think actress are prostitutes. So I, I, I, I just also know because I have no connection in America. I was thinking about I could never become a starving artist. I would learn how to do business, how to make money so I can use the money I make to TR myself as an artist. I, I, I learned, I, I study a lot of the Confucianism and the I Ching and the Chinese, the art of war. I wanted to learn how to be a successful person. But I wanted to not struggle from like, right, because once, once you want money from people, you don't do art. You go to audition, you're begging them to give you a role so you can pay rent. It's not art. You are so pressured to, to do things that's for money. Yes. So I wanted to make sure I learned something, that I can make money. So I told my mother, I want to learn finance in America, I want to learn economics. And she said no because I was very good at school and I was getting Peking University, which is China's Harvard for literature. She wanted me to go there to become a professor. I love writing and reading, but I also like to perform. I want to do all of it, but because of how I look in China, I can't even get in a drama school because of my look. I was pretty young.

[Heather McDonald]

It's just so crazy because hopefully you guys jump over to the YouTube and watch it, but you, by all standards, you're gorgeous.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you. That's, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Now, I mean, at least In America, in 2025, you're very, very attractive.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

So that's just so interesting. I mean, what does your mom, just to jump forward to today is your mom, has your mom gotten any nicer?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

What's the deal? I think the moment I start giving her money, she just kind of forgave me for being ugly. And also China has changed a little bit. They become more open minded about tan and little diverse beauty. But it's still very tough, very judgmental. The, the Chinese actresses, they are £90 and they are bleached white. There's, they, they, I, I was doing a Chinese movie, my first marriage. I was in China. I got in a Chinese TV show and I was, I was instructed to do a jaw surgery because my jaw was too big, too wide, too wide. I don't look like a woman. They said you look like a man. Or like a trans woman, whatever. So they want me to shave my jaw. Also they want me to bleach my skin. I didn't want to shave it. So they, they did the haircut, like a bob haircut. They glue the hair on my cheeks to cover my face and, and they bleach my skin. But they make my face so white, but my neck's dark. So they started to iv, like IV treatment, IV bleaching.

[Heather McDonald]

And did it work?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I got white. But they also just think I was too fat. But I was a size 0. But in China, like I, I was, I was too big. So I, I was eating spinach. So one time I was, I was on set and I fainted. I passed out. I said, I can't remember my line. They're like, don't, don't worry. Move your lips and stand there. We hate your voice. We have a voiceover actress who's very talented. I was like, okay, you hate my face, you hate my body, you hate my skin. You also hate my voice. I don't think I should do this. Yeah, I, I am done.

[Heather McDonald]

And how old were you then?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That was, I was 20. I was 26. So I decided 27. I decided to came back to America.

[Heather McDonald]

So you were in America but then you got a job in China? Yeah, I went back.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. I host the Chinese Shanghai Film Festival. And that's when I met my husband, the father, my ex husband, the father.

[Heather McDonald]

Met him where?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

In Shanghai. I was hosting the Shanghai Film Festival for the English section. So I met him there.

[Heather McDonald]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He was in telecom and trading, whatever. He was wealthy. But it was a very bad. It was a very bad experience. A very bad marriage. In the beginning it was gaslighting. Ever since Love bomb. Love me. Love bombing. Yeah, love bombing is a word. Love bombing.

[Heather McDonald]

And what was his ethnic background?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He's a Chinese man. He's.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, from China. Was he American too though or.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, he's very Chinese but he was kind of international. He speak English well.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He was very handsome, very charming, very good looking. So I was love bombed by him.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And then it's a good lesson. A lot of materials.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

And then when did the love bombing stop? And you realize who did I, who the did I marry?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He's not like, he's not calling me ugly and fat and he's that your legs are so short, you know, you should be wearing high heels. I said, but I'm pregnant. He goes, yeah, you're still short pregnant. You look shorter, you're fatter now. It just got it become, I think because he's insecure. Deep down he wants to chip away my confidence. Yeah. So he can control me like a caged bird. And he'll pull your feather one day by one. You don't realize. It's like when you are boiling a frog with warm water, slowly increasing temperature. You don't know until you're like, okay, I'm dead. So it took me a long time. He started saying things like, oh, you look very tired with no makeup on. Please make sure when I wake up you already have your makeup on. I don't want to look at your face like this.

[Heather McDonald]

Now where were you living when he was saying this and you were pregnant with your first child?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I was in Beijing.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay, and did you, you said he was wealthy. So did you have a nice home that he was providing for you?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

It's a very luxurious home. But when I met him, I was.

[Heather McDonald]

You one of those Chinese people that like went and bought the high end, real luxury goods or.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, I didn't buy that. He bought them because he, his friends are all rich and wealthy. Because I came to America as a struggling student. I worked five jobs so. And then I got in finance and I made my money. But I'm not, obviously not as rich as him. But the money I make, I can support my grandpa and my grandmother and my mom, you know, that's like.

[Heather McDonald]

So you were doing finance in what part of America?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I was in. I had a job at Orange county to do to. In hedge fund. At the same time I was taking acting classes with Howard. Fine. I was auditioning. I love horrifying. I got his big class and I got his master class. So I was training acting. I started auditioning. That's when I met my ex husband. I. I wasn't wealthy, but I also, I, I would have, I would have never buy expensive bags. I would use the money to, to buy my apartment, pay my mortgage. I didn't have the money. He buy the good things, the expensive stuff because he wanted to make sure I show off. I don't look poor in front of his friend's wife. That's what he.

[Heather McDonald]

So he wanted you to have like the nice.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, he won't give me nice things. But he actually slowly we. He fired the maid. He said that you should be cooking as, as the wife. If you don't cook for me, that you are not dutiful wife. He started becoming a different person once I got pregnant.

[Heather McDonald]

And so then you had your baby. And who's that?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I had the first baby that my boy, My son. My son.

[Heather McDonald]

How old is he now?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He's now six. And after I had him, I moved back to America and I wanted to, I wanted to leave him. But because of this boy and he's a Chinese man and if I don't have enough money, I can't take my son. So I wanted to get myself a career. Because if we got married in California, it's a different story. I have, have more rights as a woman. But in China, the richer part of the spouse is going to get whatever they want. So I want to come back to America and I John Singleton, I remember I auditioned for John Singleton and it was for one of this show called Rebel and there's a black girl is a cop, her best friend's a Chinese girl. So he asked me, what do you think? I said, that's rush hour on a budget. And he's like, you know what? You should try stand up. You're going to be a star. I said, do I have the job? He goes, no, I don't understand the word. You said bitch. But he did.

[Heather McDonald]

So he, he suggested you do stand up.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He suggests. And he introduced me, we had a lunch and he gave me a whole history of a stand up. Because in China we don't have stand up. Stand up is new recently. Six, five years ago. There's. But I had no idea you can make a living. I always been funny, I always talk, I like to write. So I said I'll try open mic. I try to open mic. Obviously I bombed, but there's something there I felt that was giving me more freedom is because as an actress you wait for that audition. Yeah, but as a comedian they can laugh at us all they want, they can make fun of us, but as long as we are getting on the stage, we are getting better. So I, I knew I want to do this and I asked him how can I get good? He goes, Get 10,000 hours before you can. 10,000 hours.

[Heather McDonald]

10,000 hours.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

10 thousand hours before you can find your voice.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I was calculating that's not going to happen with the open mic is waiting around. Especially here in la.

[Heather McDonald]

It's so hard, you know.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So one week later I bought a comedy club.

[Heather McDonald]

You buy your own comedy.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I still have it is on Melrose and Kawanga is in Hollywood.

[Heather McDonald]

What's it called?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

It's called the Hollywood Comedy.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So I, I wanted to have a place I can perform. I, I saw this storefront on Morrows is in Large Mountain. So it's, it's cute. It's for lease. I went in, there's a clothing store and they have really ugly clothes. I'm like, okay, I'm taking the lease. So two weeks later I made it into a little black theater, black box theater. And then I started to host the open mic there. I will have 10 open mic a day every hour there's A different audience. We have one comedian on stage, eight people watching, and you, you know, rotate. And I was the host. So when you are hosting, you gotta do all the dirty job. I host 10 hours a day, I work like a communist peasant, and two months later, there's Covid.

[Heather McDonald]

And now at that point, when you're doing that, what's your merit? What's. What's happening with your marriage that's falling apart?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He would just tell me, I come.

[Heather McDonald]

Home and you have a second child then.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Not yet.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I wasn't planning actually was a mistake.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So I was just trying to see if I can get a career mistake.

[Heather McDonald]

But my dad said no, we're gonna say you were a surprise.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Oh, and you are the joy to the world.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, both my sister and I were surprises, but. So you were not planning on having any more with him and you did get pregnant?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I did. And I remember that I, I, I, I, I, I want to keep the baby because I had a really bad experiences when I was in college that I was, I was in love with this guy and he was my fiance and we were gonna get married and I found I was pregnant and he basically pressured me to have an abortion because he was cheating on me with another girl. He was about to leave me. That's why. So I didn't want to.

[Heather McDonald]

Where did you go to college?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Kentucky. University of Kentucky.

[Heather McDonald]

How did you end up in Kentucky?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I remember I was applying for different schools and my mother wasn't helping me and actually, so.

[Heather McDonald]

But did you finish high school in China or you finished here in California?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

High school in China.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And then I applied myself.

[Heather McDonald]

So from China you were applying to all the different schools in America?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I got my first offer from Kentucky and my mother wasn't paying me for me to go. So I just want to go to the first school so I can go to America first and I can move.

[Heather McDonald]

To wherever they gave you a scholarship or.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I didn't get a scholarship and I, I worked and I worked different jobs to pay for my school.

[Heather McDonald]

And that's where you met this guy and fell in love?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I fell in love. And he was a nice. Looks like a nice guy, but obviously. So it was a.

[Heather McDonald]

So then when you're pregnant with your daughter this time I just said you were like, no man's gonna make pressure me. Even though I don't want to do.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Even though she wasn't planned. I didn't plan for have her have her, but I wanted to make sure this baby. I'm going to be the person decide, I'm keeping her, I'm going to give her the life. She's not going to fuck my life up. If I kept my first baby, this guy pressured me to have it. And I regret forever is because it wasn't my choice. Because I'm a peasant. Like, I would work nine jobs to keep the baby alive. I don't need a man to tell me, oh, we can't afford it. I can afford it. Like, I. That's the problem with me is that I hate that. That I respect what he wanted, not what I wanted. Because I could afford a baby on my own, even though I didn't have money, but I worked so hard, I would have fucking get my together. So this time I'm like, no, I'm. I'm gonna keep this baby.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you know what? That's. Have you ever heard the expression, do a Hail Mary?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

What's that?

[Heather McDonald]

You know what that means?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That is.

[Heather McDonald]

That would go among men talking. And I remember I heard a very misogynistic la. Maybe he wasn't la. Maybe it was syndicated. But when talk show before podcast, there was this guy, and I can't remember his name, and he was so disgusting. But basically I would be intrigued to watch, to listen to him because he would be like, preaching to men, like, how to get a hot woman to do what you want. And he was just the most disgusting guy.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Anyway, he's a pickup artist.

[Heather McDonald]

So he said. Yeah, so he said, a Hail Mary is so a woman that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with her. You don't want her to have the baby, says she's pregnant. Then the thing that you're supposed to do is say, you know, I love you. We're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. This just isn't the right time.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That's what he said to me.

[Heather McDonald]

And then in a couple years, we'll have the money, we'll have the house, we'll have the kids. So he convinces the woman to do something she doesn't want to do in ending the pregnancy. And then, you know, is nice to her, brings her some food after going to the doctor, let a little time pass. And then, yeah, then that's what he did.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, that's.

[Heather McDonald]

That is horrible. I had a friend that that happened to too. Very sad. She really believed him too. She really was like, okay, yeah, you're right. You know, and. But believed that this. That he loved her and that they would just make it happen at another time in the future.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Wow.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That's exactly what happened. I was very young, I didn't know. But that time I. I want to give this baby the life that she deserves. And he deserves whatever the gender is. So I didn't have a plan B. I was already planning on leaving my ex. So every day I work 10 hours and there's pandemic. Everything closed down.

[Heather McDonald]

And you're doing comedy at this time too?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, that's when I started doing the open man for the club. And I remember that everything shut down during COVID And I go to my club, I talk to the empty walls. I just read my jokes, like put it in, there's audience and I just was thinking, what happens when. When this thing opens? Because I have to make it work, make my career work fast. How do I do that? Then I start posting, I start writing jokes and I start to talk them on stage to nobody. I start filming them and posting on Tick Tock. It was embarrassing because you are not funny. You're stupid. You, you have an accent. You should go yourself. And you know, I'm like, it's so rude. Like I am. I will like.

[Heather McDonald]

I think your mom might have prepared.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

You for TikTok comment everything. Girls like, oh my gosh, she was so pretty.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, you're nothing. Tiktokers.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, you're nothing.

[Heather McDonald]

You mean bots. I grew up with a Chinese mom.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. And they'll say, oh my God, you were so pretty before. Before you, the baby. Now you are so fat, you're ugly. I'm like, you think I was pretty at any point? Oh my gosh. Do you want flowers? My mom never told me that. People think they are mean to me. I'm like, oh, honey. So I start posting everything and slowly I found out that the thing I talk about, my real life, my struggle, the culture differences, those are the stuff that worked that they go viral. So I think social media helped me find my voice in a year rather than 10 years. Because as a real comedian, it takes to find your voice.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. So when I was starting, they would say, well, you can't start standup in la. You need to go to Chicago or New York where you can get up on stage three times a night for five years. Then you try to get an agent. And they even said, don't let anybody see you until you've done it for two years. Don't invite agents or whatever because they'll remember you being like green and shitty. And that'll stick in their mind even though in three years you're better. And so I was like, well, I grew up in LA and I have friends I can invite and family that are encouraging me to do standup and want to see the standup.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And.

[Heather McDonald]

And that's even back then I realized there is no stand up. Comedy is not becoming a neurosurgeon where you go to college, then you do, then you do your. Or, then you do. There's different ways, and especially in 2025, for funny people to shine, which I love. The best part about social media, the worst part is you're fat, you're ugly, you're a loser, or whatever, that's the worst part. But if you can get to a place where that doesn't affect you as much, it is so great because you don't need to go out and, you know, you'd have to walk yourself to the car alone and something could happen. Or these male comedians would act like they want to help you and they really want to fuck you. All these things. Nothing beats a live audience. But it is a great way to test what is funny or what it's not. Or when I do this podcast, you know, in deciding what clip to cut, I'll wake up first thing in the Morning, read the YouTube comments, and people going, I died laughing when. Da, da, da, da. And then I'm like, okay, I think that might be. And then sometimes it goes great, and other times I'm like, why didn't that thing go, all right, next one, next one. You know, and then sometimes I'll take that funny story that I didn't even think was funny that I said on the show and put that into a standup. So there's so many different ways. And your story is obviously extremely unique and determined and love the story of, you know, an immigrant who sees the opportunity and just won't stop. Like, that's just amazing. And so then you kind of realized the things that did better were saying the cultural differences, which is so true because it's the most universal. It's like why the COVID jokes were the best.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Because everybody could relate to mocking the person who's driving in their car with the windows up and a mask. I think every comedian said that, you know, and then it's that type of thing. So. Okay, so continue. So you started to do that and you started to get some traction.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I really believe that I found my voice. Like you said, you know, you. The audience were like, oh, my. I died laughing at that. You're like, okay, this is clicking. When you are talking about the story to your friend, you didn't even try. And people used to love it so much. Then it become such an organic, great stuff a bit. And that's.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, I would always tell people that too. I'm like, if you are just starting and you want to be funny, whatever that might be, maybe that's on substack, maybe that's just in a podcast, maybe that's writing, maybe that's just telling a joke or doing a TikTok thing. I'm like, it is when you're hanging out with your friends and you're just telling something and they're laughing. And then my friends would learn and they'd be like, write it down, write it down. And now like on the phone in my notes I'll be like, that was really funny. Like I should work on that. So it, it is very much when you are a naturally funny person, which you are there, you got to have that. But then you've got to have the, the tools and the determination and, and you got. But you can get better.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

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[Heather McDonald]

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[Zhao Ying Sommers]

You know what I love most about the holidays? Giving gifts. But not just any gifts. Real gifts. Thoughtful gifts. Oh my God, how did you know? Gifts. That's why I love Gift shopping with the RealReal. The RealReal is the most trusted name in authenticated luxury resale and it's a holiday shopping secret I'm going to let you in on. Whether it's a surprisingly affordable pristine condition bag for your bff, a vintage find that's cool enough for the Gen Z er in your life, or even something your impossible to shop for. Dad will love, get used to saying I found it on the RealReal. Seriously, with over 10,000 new arrivals dropping every day from brands like Gucci, Fendi, Prada, Louis vuitton, Tiffany & Co. And Cartier, there's guaranteed to be something for everyone on your list. Oh and did I mention that everything's up to 90% off retail. Get $25 off your first purchase at.

[Heather McDonald]

Therealreal.Com that's therealreal.com to get your $25 off therealreal.com like people say, oh no one can teach comedy. No you can. There is, yeah there is like a cadence and a way of writing that's better and there is a formula to it and then but what's great is that it's creative and everybody, you have your own point of view and that's when someone pops with their own point of view.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Like oh, when you are organic and you're not pandering to anyone. Yeah, especially as an Asian female Chinese comedian. At the beginning of my career, only Chinese you want to listen to me. But I don't pander to them and they hate me. They talk shit about me. But slowly I build my voice as authentic and now they like me. And now I have my audience are not just Asians. I have everyone likes me because I'm not pandering to a certain person for them to buy ticket because I look like them. My suffering and my joy is universal. Being a daughter, being a mother, being, being being the eldest daughter is universal. And that's I'm just a human. I happen to be yellow and I happen to be a woman. And I felt that I was so blessed to, to have the chance to posting things on my social media. I post three times a day. I post all the way to the delivery room. I was throwing up, morning sickness, posting, I was toilet hugging while posting. So nobody. People tell me like I'm just not like you. I don't like to post. I'm like, you think I like to post. Nobody likes to post.

[Heather McDonald]

And when people want to bag on influencers or anything like that, like, oh she' just an influencer. She's just, you know, she Just wears her outfits. I'm like, you have no idea how much work that is and what a pain in the ass it is.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And like, there's nothing I like better than going to a party. And this doesn't even happen very often. I wish it happened more where they're like, sometimes at the Hollywood party, you need to put your phone over there.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That's good.

[Heather McDonald]

I'm like, thank you.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Real conversation.

[Heather McDonald]

And I don't feel like I'm missing opportunities that I should be posting and I should be. Da, da, da, da. And yeah, there's a certain point where I'm like, whatever, I'm just not going to do it that much or whatever. But, yeah, people have no idea how much work goes into it and how. Just like any other art form, sometimes you don't just pop like Alex Earle after doing it for six months. It might take years.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

But as long as you're enjoying it. Same with standup. When someone would say, how long are you going to give it? I'm like, well, I get really excited when I have a set. I get a little nervous. I'm excited to do it. I feel good after.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

I'll just do it for as long as I. But you don't make any money out of it. Well, I guess I'll just stop doing it when I don't enjoy doing it anymore.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, it's about the joy it gives us. Makes you feel alive. It's my drug. I feel alive. I make people laugh and I'm creating. I love that.

[Heather McDonald]

Did you have any other female standups that along your journey or before you even started, that was like an inspiration or that you really liked watching?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I feel I can be very real with you. Is that it's very, very funny. The unfunny female comics, they are very toxic towards me. The good ones, they are so nice to me. The one who's successful, who made it, who had their name. They were just extremely nice. And they have nothing to gain from being nice to me. And it just. You always hear, oh, someone is bigger. She's a diva. But actually, my experiences are the. The comedians, the female comics that are not funny, don't have a career. They would just tell me that, you know, you are too loud. You should. Your accent is the problem. You're never gonna make it. Or like, you can't dress up. You're too dressed up.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. You're too. Yeah, you're too sexy. You're gonna distract me.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, your accent's too thick. People can't understand You. You're never gonna make it. Or just they. They talk about me. I don't even. I got someone I would help. They talk. But the ones people like you, people like Nikki Glaser, Margaret Cho, those women, they are just like, you got a way to help me. Like Nick Glazer. She will introduce me. She will try to give me as much attention and respect. When she introduced me, she'll spend two minutes, give me an intro that she's running her set for Golden Globe. I'm not gonna give her anything for her career. I can't give her shit. But she doesn't care. And Margaret Cho, she did my podcast, and she. She talked to me. Every time I post a photo, a video that she think I need support, she shared her story without talking to me, without anything. And those are the women. And I. I messaged you, and you just respond, yes, come here. Let me. Let me get on my show. That's the love support I. I get, is because you've been through where I was. When you try to be good and you try to try to become a good artist, and people try to take you down, and you've been through that. And so you see me, you're like, I'm gonna give her a hand. But the people who never made it, they are small, and they want to drag you down. It's so sad.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. I mean, it is unfortunate, but I always remember that about Joan Rivers. She was just so lovely to Margaret, to myself. The few times I got to meet her, when we were both at E. And in her documentary, she featured Kathy Griffin, and Kathy Griffin, like, loved her, and she knew that she was still doing it, and she in it was like, oh, my calendar used to be full. Now it's all Kathy. Kathy was. This is like, you know, 15, 20 years ago. And I was like, oh, I remember watching that being younger at the movie theater while I was doing comedy work.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

A piece of work.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, a piece of work. And I was like, well, I wonder if that bothers her. You know that. And it didn't. Like, it didn't. Because she loved it. And it's comedy. And she never turned out anything. Like, before the Internet, she was doing, like, people's webisodes when they were called a webisode, which today would be the podcast, YouTube, whatever. Someone asked her, she'd be like, sure, if I'm free that day, Like, I'm never gonna turn down any work because next week somebody may not ask me. And it's like that. That humbleness of, like, actually really loving the art of it is what you know, keeps you in the game. The longevity of it, that is. That is so lovely. So you're pregnant with the second one. Are you still. When you gave birth to your daughter, are you still with your husband?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, we have. It's become very ugly. And he started just calling me names and telling me I'll never make it. And it was just a lot of mental abuse and verbal abuse. But the problem is because I'm a Chinese girl from China, that the verbal abuse is just very normal. You got called ugly and stupid. It's just because also in my culture, they don't compliment the kids. Because we believe if you tell the kids ugly names and call them ugly, the less envy from hell. There's less devil envy them so they won't be taken from you. The more you say you are beautiful, you're precious. They got taken by the devils because they got envy. So like I. I felt.

[Heather McDonald]

So they think like if you tell your daughter she's beautiful and boost her self esteem, there is a higher chance that something evil might happen. Like a tragic.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

Accident and she'll die young.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, because the devils want to take her. Because they are.

[Heather McDonald]

What religion is that?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I think it's Buddhism. That is Confucianism is very. Woman should be humble. And if you love someone like in confusion, like they call Jian N my cheap wife or like Goer my dog of a son. Like they. Someone refer their kids as like a humble. Like extremely humble to. To show that I'm very humble about. About everything. It's just extreme culture that I am used to that. So when my husband, he calls me, you're so ugly. You know, you're so fat now and you're not smart, you are not sharp. I felt like mom, you know, I felt like I'm home again. I didn't felt that he was. He was foreign.

[Heather McDonald]

What did your mom think of this husband? Did she like him?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Did not like him because he was 20 years older than me. But he looked so handsome that it didn't really. He looked like he was 40. It didn't really matter to me. And I thought she would like him because she just want me to be rich. And this guy is rich, but turned out my mother, she want me to be happy. And she think that I married him for the status, for everything. But I married him for her because she blamed that I spent so much money because the first year tuition she paid for and I. I just felt guilty for going to America. So I wanted to pay off her debt. I wanted to help her. So it was just a very sad little love story between a mother and daughter that she want me to be happy. She want me to find a man my age, we can develop something together. But I saw she just resent me for spending her money and I thought she want me to pay her the money back. She. I didn't know. She just want me to be happy. And she can't say it either because she can't say she cannot say it. It's a Chinese mom. Just don't say I love you. I think the moment they tell their child I love you is the moment they die. So they can't say it right now. Really?

[Heather McDonald]

Has she said it yet?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, no, she can't. She goes, what about your kids? As the mom say I love you. She goes, you fat. You know, she. I love you. She goes, I love you ugly. Like she can't say it. She tell my daughter she's beautiful because like she's so pretty. She look like your ex.

[Heather McDonald]

So they can be a nice grandma.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Oh, nice grandma for sure.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, that's good.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Just very evil mom. Yeah, she's so funny. She gave me so much materials, so it's great.

[Heather McDonald]

So okay, so how do you tell the husband we're done. Done.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I remember it was a big deal for me is when I was passed as a love factory, as an open maker. As a.

[Heather McDonald]

So now where were you living in L. A with the. With the husband and the two babies while you're building this comedy club.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So we. He was wealthy so he bought like three or four houses. One of the house we rent out dressed and one of the house was in west Hollywood, which I think is very Orlando super walking distance.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, I love.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I remember I got passed at the love factory and I was so excited for pilot.

[Heather McDonald]

That means that now she can be on a list to be booked for.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Spots as an open micr. That's. I mean it took me two and a half years. That was a dream. But I remember he said I was getting my hair done, dressing up.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you think people. I have to ask one thing. Do you think these other comics were resentful? Because in their eyes it seemed like, oh, look how quickly she went. And you think that they also not knowing how hard you are working and they probably were not working that hard. Do you think they were saying, oh, it's only because she's an Asian woman?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, because she's Asians in the diversity. That's why she. She won the diversity lottery. But I was the one who can sell tickets. I had a million followers on TikTok. They have no followers. Right.

[Heather McDonald]

The thing is, yeah, it can only. Whether you're a nepo baby or there is or they're looking for a certain look or type that can only take you so far in this business. No one's gonna continue. It's like when people talk about Kim Kardashian. Oh, she had a sex tape. I'm like, do you think a million people are buying skims because she fucked Ray J on tape?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

She's nine years ago.

[Heather McDonald]

I think she's doing okay. I don't think people are gonna continue to watch her on her new show with Ryan Murphy because like, like, so what? Like, you know, at a certain point, maybe something might help get you there, but you're not gonna stay there because accident. Unless you're talented. So you.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I think Kris Jenner is one of the best businesswoman in the world. Yeah, she's really brilliant. And the thing about her kids is that doesn't matter what you say about them, they are extremely authentic. Like they say, like they, they own their mistakes. You can shame them, but they, they own everything.

[Heather McDonald]

Right?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And that's what I feel like. I, I, I, I, I understand them more. It's obviously they are business. They are great with business. Yeah, yeah. People.

[Heather McDonald]

So sorry. So go back. So you get passed at the Comedy Store Factory. You're still with the mean husband doing.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

My makeup and hair. And he told me that, you know, do you remember you told me when you were a little kid, you stuttered, right? I said, yes, but I don't stutter anymore. He said, no, no. I was reading in the article, it says that if you do a big performance when you are an adult, you just start to stutter again because you are so nervous if you do a big.

[Heather McDonald]

What?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Big, like performance.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, big performance. So he's trying to psych you out before you perform that night.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He said, you don't. I think you should not go tonight because you're gonna stutter and it'll be a joke. It'll be so embarrassing. You probably want to kill yourself after.

[Heather McDonald]

That for your first night of like doing a regular show at the Laugh Factory.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I said, I said, you. I said, I don't stutter anymore. He goes, you don't stutter anymore? I started stuttering. I got so angry. I said, I don't. And then he started stuttering like me. I just lost my. And I slapped him. The moment I slapped him, he grabbed my hair and he choked Me. He dragged me to the sink and he started choking me. The moment he started choking me, I took a cutting board and smashed his head. So, like, I, I, I, I can, I understand the physical abuse. When some men punch me, I'm gonna strike him.

[Heather McDonald]

And where are the two babies at this point?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

My mother had them in the other room in the house.

[Heather McDonald]

And you're about to go do a funny sex.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. So he basically grabbed mine because he's not a villain.

[Heather McDonald]

When you say downstairs. Wait, you were at your house when this happened?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

But you had to go down the street to the Laugh Factor to perform that night?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I was downstairs getting ready.

[Heather McDonald]

How much time between this incident and.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

You going, it was around 30 minutes.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, my God.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I still performed. And I remember that I. He choked me. He never touched me because he's not. He's like a mousy person. He's not physically violent because I slapped him. So as a man, he was like, oh, my God. That I smashed him with the cutting board. My mother, she just, she heard something. She ran downstairs and she took a big vase and she smashed on him. She goes, I'm gonna kill you. Don't you touch my daughter, you piece of. And she chased at him with a knife, and he left. And then I fell for divorce next day. Wow. Yeah, that was how.

[Heather McDonald]

Did you get a lawyer or did it yourself?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I got a lawyer, and he wanted to get me back. He thought it was a joke. I said, no, no, it's not a joke. I don't, I don't play with this. You don't touch me. Then he's like. Then I realized, he thought, I'll be okay with that because I took all the verbal abuse. But for me, it's like, because I'm traumatized. I didn't know that was abuse, but I know hitting, striking is abuse.

[Heather McDonald]

Are you almost grateful that I went to that place?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I am. If he's still calling me fat and ugly, I'm still with him. Yeah. I'm so happy. I, I, I, I just.

[Heather McDonald]

That it crossed that line across the line.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And I filed a divorce. And I. He basically made a deal with me. He goes, you know, if you want to, to see the kids, I'm not giving you any child support, Nothing. Because we got married in China. He's also Chinese. I said, listen, I make it very easy for you. I don't want to drag this down with you for two, three years because I don't have money. I don't have time. You got money? You got time. You're retired. I don't have any money. I don't have no time. I have to work every day. So I wanted two kids. I want no child support, no spousal support. I want you to sign the divorce paper right now. And he did it. And then I had to figure out, how do I raise my kids? So we had to.

[Heather McDonald]

What year was this?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

That was 2020. I think that 2020. 2021. 2020, right. Like early spring, 2021.

[Heather McDonald]

So they're. So things are just starting to open up. People are just able to go out.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

So. Oh, God.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So I had nothing. I downgraded and I started selling my jewelry. I. All the, all the money I saved.

[Heather McDonald]

So you sold the expensive jewelry?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

All of my jewelry and then my bags. And then I made some money. I made around like a $700,000. 700,000 my whole life saving before I met him because I quit my job after I married him because he's like, you should. I'll be working.

[Heather McDonald]

But I mean like the jewelry in the bags, you're saying you made 700?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, those are just the, the, the 700k went to the house that. I put part of the house down payments. So he want me to pay him half the house to buy him out. So I had to mortgage the house to pay him another like a million. And I'm paying like.

[Heather McDonald]

Were any of the attorneys like this guy, you could do better than this.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They hate that so much. It's. It's insane. And I was. I had to do a line of credit which is extremely high. I was paying ten grand a month because I felt like I moved to a different house, a smaller house. That is a house. I put down my. I just feel like the. The kids left, lost their dad. I don't want them to lose.

[Heather McDonald]

So he not stay in America or go back to China.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He went back to China or.

[Heather McDonald]

So he is not in their lives.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

He see them. I allow him to see them. Now I'm doing better. I said, they are going to find out who he is when they grow up. I don't talk shit about him in front of the kids because I don't want to make them feel insecure about their half human, half bastard, you know, I want them to find out what's wrong with this man when they grow up. And it's so he wants to see them, he can see them. And I'm not taking that away from him. But I remember that the first time I made money, my mom and I, we sell jewelries and I Borrow money from my friends, I'll give them my jewelry for two months, I'll borrow 20 grand and then I'll give them the money back. And then I got my jewelry back. Because I just, I sell to the real real. It's like I lose so much money on my jewelry and bag. I just keep rotating, selling everything I have until one day, one day I start selling my shows. I start selling 50 tickets, 100 tickets, 200 tickets, 500, 600. Then I start to make some real money. Then I just.

[Heather McDonald]

Was there a moment where you were like, I think this is all gonna work out. Like there was a moment in your career and life that you were like, I can breathe for a half a second.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, I think.

[Heather McDonald]

Or has that come yet?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, it came. I think it was a few years ago. A few years ago, cops, I sold out back to back shows. And then I got the money. I said I can pay my three years. I mean I can pay my three months mortgage. I don't have to worry about next day. I didn't, I wasn't vain. I'm always very down to earth. It just. I wanted the kids to stay in the house they used to stay. I don't want too much to change. I want them to stay in the same house and same school because it's easier for them. They don't have to see how I suffer, you know, they just wanted to. I want them to feel comfortable.

[Heather McDonald]

You still live in West Hollywood?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, I moved to Arcadia near Pasadena.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

We just bought a house in Austin, Texas. So I want to move to my residence to Texas. I bought an apartment in Hollywood so I can stay here while I'm in la. But we are going to move to Austin for, for my residence. I think I want to arrange.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And so no. So when you travel because you have a quite an extensive tour, then your mom stays with the kids?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

My mom stays with the kids. We have a mate that she. She was there since my daughter was a baby, so she's. And she knows my kids very well. She's a Chinese lady, so she helped my mother with cleaning and cooking. My mother take the kids to school and everything. Whenever I'm in California, I take my kids with me on the road on the weekends. So they actually got on stage and performed. My son and my daughter both got on stage. They are 6 and 4. They love the stage. They really like to be on the stage and to talk to the microphone because they see me doing TikTok live from live. Always a phone and they just they are familiar with it. I talk and they love to talk and make people laugh and.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you have any mom guilt about traveling?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I have a lot of mom guilt. That's why I feel like I work so hard so I can just start doing the big theaters. I can do two theaters a month so I don't have to do every weekend.

[Heather McDonald]

Two weekends a month.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Two weekends a month so I can spend more time with them. But you have to pay your dues. I mean, you have to sell the clubs and over and over. So you can have the. You can have, you can have the market. You can do theaters. I just. That's why I. I work every weekend because I want to get there in two years, not in five years. Because I miss their childhood.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. I have so much mom guilt. I really do. And whenever I'm home, I come home. That's why, like, as a mom, we don't have a comedian life. We come home at 2, we wake up at 7. You are a mom. We woke up at 7.

[Heather McDonald]

There were many times I just remember so hard sometimes, right?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes. Yeah. I just felt like my son, he said he got bullied in school because people think he's slow. And it makes me so sad because I don't have time to help with his homework. My mom don't speak English. My son's so smart, and I feel so bad that people think he's stupid. So that's why I. I wanted to move to Texas because my boyfriend's mom is gonna move down with us and he's gonna live with us. We are going to. I'm going to try to do less shows. I'm going to find other ways to make money to running my TV show, running my book. Yeah. So I can, I can, I can have. Be with them because there's nothing more than being with them is everything. They know it.

[Heather McDonald]

I don't think there's any two male standup comics dads probably ever cried about not spending enough time with their kids.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. They're so guilty.

[Heather McDonald]

You know, my kids are grown now and. But still, you will question, you know, choices. Did I do the right thing? Did I? But if I didn't do this, I wouldn't be able to have gotten here.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And you won't get that time back. But when the opportunity is there, especially in entertainment, you can't. Like, I remember when I wrote my book, there was a time where I'm like, oh, I would have loved to have had this book deal when I wasn't working on a TV show like Chelsea Lately, which was five days a week. I would have loved to have done a little. Well, the offer's not there when you're a nobody. The offer's there when you're working all week. And then you have to write the book on the weekends. And maybe, you know, five o' clock you go in the pool with your kid or whatever. And. Yeah, it's just. It's so. I mean, your story is like, I got a little. When we were on the boat with Dr. Drew, which is like this afternoon boat trip, and. But obviously I didn't get to know you, but I saw your growth and I knew that you were a hard worker. And I was like, I remember she said she had a son, and I wonder how she does all this, But I knew you were a good mom. I knew. And if you have to make the sacrifice, you cannot do everything.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah. Last Friday was the first time in my baby's life I took them trick or treating. And I just. I don't want. I did not schedule anything that weekend. I just know I have to do it. I have to. And I took them to trick or treating. And then there were these other kids. And then my son came to me. He goes, mom, what do I do? And I start to cry. I said, you just do. Just go there and say trick or treat. And you take one candy, you say, thank you. And he said, thank you, Mom. I never done that. I'm so excited. Finally I can be like other kids. And my daughter, she went there and she tell me. She come back to tell me what people said to her. I just. I felt so good. I said, that's so worth it. Yes, we do need awakened income. But you know what I need? They need to know how to trick or treat. They can't. They can't be the only kid who don't know that. Like, I feel so good.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, you know, this is what is so great, is that you can be more selective after this tour and you can turn things down and, you know, you'll get to a place where that weekend or whatever is not gonna make or break your bank or your change your life. As my dad would say, it's not gonna change your lifestyle. It's not. One gig is not gonna, you know, just so much wisdom, give you a jet or whatever. And you are going to have to say, you know, yes, no, or change it or whatever. And you will never regret, like, not doing that weekend in Dallas or whatever, if there is some opportunity for you with your kids. And so now tell Me how you met your new love of your life.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I met him last year on February in Austin, Texas. He was filming my show. I had his friend filming my show and they said they needed two camera to capture the crowds. So he hired him. I remember he was so handsome and sweet. And I remember I gave all of the camera guys a merch of mine, a hat. So he took a hat. It was a funny hat. It said ass pro shop with my ass on it. But a plus as pro shop. And I remember February, first time I met him. And around June I came back to Austin and he walked into my green room wearing my hat, and I'm like, hey, do you want a shot? But he was. I think he had a crush on me, but he felt because he worked on my show, he didn't want to be unprofessional. He didn't want to ask me out. So I said, I. I have to. I have to do it. And then I remember this. This girl, the girl at the club, she goes, oh, my God, he's so hot. I want to him. I'm like, he is hot. Then some other girls, like, he's so hot. I'm like, I want to him. They're like, you don't do that though. Like, you don't guys on the road. I said, I think I'm just so.

[Heather McDonald]

That's only for the male comedians.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

We actually don't do it.

[Heather McDonald]

We are just like, I just want to get back to my room. And if you have kids, you want the solid night sleep.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

You know, so that was always the nice thing when they were little is I was like, I kind of love this hotel room. Like, no one's waking me up at 6am or whatever. Okay, so go on.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

So I told her, I said, no, no, I. I can do it. I'm a communist. My belong to the people. I'm gonna him. I remember that I had to convince him to me because he won't do it. He's a nice guy. I have to have guys try to. So we went to the Four Seasons in the lobby and I said, hey, do you want to have a drink? He's like, yeah, my name is Zayn. I said, whatever.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I just look at his beautiful blue eyes and big eyelashes. I'm just like, oh, my God, he's so handsome. He's so sweet. And he didn't want.

[Heather McDonald]

Now, had you dated much between the husband and him?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Nothing. I have kind of dated some guy like for two weeks.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Not even for. It's like the Guy want to marry me after two weeks. Like the love bombers, which I just so turned off. And he's literally. He just talk about his life and I'm like, yeah, but like, do you want to go upstairs? He's like, what do you do upstairs? I said, do you want to have some tea to my room? He said, okay. I said, yes. So I. We went upstairs and I got embedded. I got naked in bed. I just sitting in bed. He's literally sitting on the couch. I said, hi. He's like, hi. He's like, do you want me to make some tea? I'm naked. He's like, I see. I'm like, why are you covering your face? He's like, yeah, you're naked. I said, we're gonna have sex. He's like, huh? Yeah, but I. I don't think you have a condom. I said, oh, I Uber eats condom right now. I also doordash the condom. Which one ever come first? I did Uber eats. He went downstairs and he come back. He's like, you really got condoms? I said, yeah. He's like, okay. And we had sex. And then he texted me. He's like, I will see you again. I was like, okay. I didn't even respond to him, and I just never talked to him again. I liked it. He wanted to call me, but he didn't think I want to talk to him again because I never.

[Heather McDonald]

You just did a little thumbs up on the text.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Little heart.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, little heart.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

But nothing. Didn't respond. So he wanted to talk to me, but he realized I wasn't interested. He also thought that probably what I do on the road, I just fuck guys on the road. But he was the first guy, like, I actually had sex on the road. I just. I met a different guy. He love bombed me later. And then I remember in September, I came back to Austin late September, and I saw him again. He said, I want to see you, you know, I said, I don't have time. I don't know if you are working for my show. He goes, yes, my friend and I work in our show. I'm like, okay, whatever. So I saw him. I remembered how sweet he was. And then I remember that after that I kissed him and he said, I wanted to ask you on a real date. I said, okay. So we went on a real date and he didn't want to have sex. I'm like, I'm. I'm you. Like, I'm. I'm you. Okay. And then we had sex and I asked him, do you like my big Tits. He's like, I'm an ass man. I was like, this guy's not gonna go anywhere. I mean, this guy's not gonna go anywhere. He's cute, but oh my God. Either he's gay or autistic. I don't know. He's, he's a good, I'm an ass man. I'm like, okay. And then he just literally we, I threw him out to film my show in, in, I think it was Canada. Five cities in five days. Very tough. And he was very sweet. He didn't want to have sex with me. He's like, I want to really date you. Which means that we needed to get to know each other. Like we need to get become real friends. Like, the sex is going to be so destructive. I want, I was so mad at him. I was so angry. I was so pissed at him. I think I'm like, you just don't want to me think I'm ugly. You don't want to me. You think I'm ugly and fat. That's what you think. He's like, that's not it. So he was just so different. And he also had a corporate job before he start filming. He worked at Tesla for five, six years. So, so he just, he's a very, like a very nice man. He's like a nice, normal guy, Normal, sweet guy. He didn't want to, he actually wanted to get to know me. I was offended. All my friends are like, I think he, maybe he's a nice guy. He's not loved on me. He just, he want more than having sex.

[Heather McDonald]

You just weren't used to that. I wasn't, you weren't used to anyone being nice to you?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, I wasn't. I said, you want me just, just me with, not without my body. Like you just want me my annoying self. He said, yes. I said, but I talk a lot. He goes, I like to listen to you talk. I'm like, what's wrong with you? Then we then, September, December, he asked me to his girlfriend. I said, I said yes. My. Yeah, I asked him to spend five days in LA with me. I said, but you're gonna stay in a hotel because you can't live in my house. I don't want you to meet my mom. He said, but what's the real reason I said yes? I'm under house arrest for my doi. I have anger alert in real. No, in real life. I got a DOI last year. You did?

[Heather McDonald]

How did that happen?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I just, I, I, I was drinking and I crashed in my Car. Because I fell asleep. I was so tired. I did not also have bipolar, so I haven't. I didn't. I forgot to eat sometimes. I overwork as a workaholic. I overwork. I forgot to eat.

[Heather McDonald]

So were you coming back from a show or something?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Actually, I did a lot of shows that. That weekend and the month before. And then I did a. A Sunday, I think at the Ice House. So I was after show, I went to drinking with some friends and I haven't been eating for probably two weeks.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, God.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Just drinking. No, no food. And then I just passed out. I. Yeah, I fell asleep in the car. It was a Tesla X. I forgot to use a self drive and my car crashed to two streets. I killed two trees. And then.

[Heather McDonald]

Is that when you woke up, when you hit the tree?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Oh, I woke up. The car was flipped three times.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh my God.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

It was alive. The car was totaled. But they took me to the hospital, they scanned me. They think I definitely have some internal bleeding. It turns out I was harmless. I had some glasses on my face, tiny little pieces.

[Heather McDonald]

And maybe because you were passive, because they say sometimes like if you saw like a truck coming at you, your whole body would tense up like a cat. Yeah. And so then when you get hit, the injuries are much worse than if you were out of it or asleep or under. More relaxed as you are intoxicated.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I think so.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, my God. So then the police were at the. At the hospital.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah, they got my blood test and I think I was definitely. There's a lot of blood, whatever. So I got a good attorney, so I was able to get a good deal. I got a house arrest, so.

[Heather McDonald]

But then you couldn't do standup or you could, because that was.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I did the pop across too. I went on shows. I had that.

[Heather McDonald]

So as long as it was work.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

You could do work. I can have that excused. And I had a podcast.

[Heather McDonald]

But you weren't able to drive.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I can't drive. I don't want to drive either. I'm always texting anyway. So now my. My man drives me around and so the first week, don't drive.

[Heather McDonald]

But will you ever drive again? If it's self driving, I will, I will. But can you legally drive right now?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Right. Not now, but next year I can I get my license back.

[Heather McDonald]

And was your mom mad at you for that?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, she was so happy I was alive.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, so she wasn't then? Mad?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, she wasn't. She was actually so nice. She goes, you know what you are. You're not hurt. A. The car. You are not hurt, but she wasn't.

[Heather McDonald]

Mad that you drank?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

No, she just know that I was going through a lot. That's actually my ex. He ended up me up. He. He. He went behind my back. I sold all of my. My stuff and my clothing, my archives, my. My shoes, my bags, jewelries in China without my knowledge. I found that out and I was screaming and yelling at him. And then earlier I was in a bad.

[Heather McDonald]

Just. You're in a horrible spot.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

It was a horrible spot. But the first week of dating as my. As his girlfriend and my boyfriend came to take me to jail and then he started your.

[Heather McDonald]

Your DUI And. And. And do. Did he make you go to like AA or anything?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yes, I go to aa and I like the guys at aa. There's a lot of old guys at the A class. I go. They are all like in their 70s. Yeah, they go there. They've been there for 30 years. And I'm the only woman there.

[Heather McDonald]

I remember thinking. I remember somebody saying, oh, you know, the best AA is at Robertson or whatever this is, you know, in the 90s, a lot of agents go there. And I remember seriously considering going to AA for the stage time. This is awesome because you could get up and tell a story and, you know, and oftentimes they. A lot of these people, they tell the same story for 30 years. They get pretty good at it.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

They have punchlines.

[Heather McDonald]

It's like. It's a good training. So do you speak at the meeting?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I. We share a little bit. So it's like everyone shared a little.

[Heather McDonald]

Story standing up in front of.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I don't do it because I don't want to. Because you have those. The pharmacist assistants, they go there, they dress up. They're like, trying to be cute and funny. I don't want to steal their spotlight, you know, I just want them to shine. I'm just like a mop in the corner. Be like, yep, I am a drunkard. I listen to them. I just want to see them getting on stage and they got all dolled up. They drive. They were. It's so cute.

[Heather McDonald]

So just tell everybody, like, where the next spots you're gonna be where they can find you. The show is on. Hulu premieres this Saturday, November 8th. Yes. And I just know my juicy scoopers are gonna love it.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I can't wait.

[Heather McDonald]

And congrats with your man.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

And where are you guys now in your love journey?

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

We are getting our house in Austin. We just got the apartment in Hollywood. So I'M gonna sell my house in Acadia, Pasadena area. And we're very excited to have our new life. And he's also my tour manager, so he produced my podcast. He's my full time slave.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Which. Which I'm so lucky to have him. And my. I'm. I'm in magoobies at Maryland next week. I'm in Chicago and Philly and Singapore, Hawaii, Honolulu, Maui, all over the place. San jose and joeyancomedy.com when you go to Hawaii. I'm taking them, actually. I'm taking my mom and kids for 10 days.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, that's so. I'm so glad you're making vacations out. I remember, like, when I was doing Chelsea lately and I got a gig, like in somewhere around Phoenix. I said, they said, oh, you can stay at this hotel, whatever. And I go, could they find me the hotel that has the water slide? So the kids came and they were able to go the water slide. But then my younger son at the time wasn't tall enough. And so we got up to the top and I was like, oh, shit. And I'm like trying to spike up his hair getting up the line. And I felt like it was like a DUI test. Like, I was like, just don't look him in the eye and just go sit down real quick before the lifeguard realizes you're too little to go on this. And he's like, okay, okay. And then the guy's like, excuse me, sir, can you come over here and stand? And he looks at me, he's like. And he was so mad because his older brother could down the water slide. I'm like, next, Next time, you know, we. Then we did what a real fun was.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

We.

[Heather McDonald]

I did the Atlantis Casino. And we went. And then everyone was tall enough to go on every ride there and we went on that water slide. So it's like I was always like, how. I was like, feeling my age. I'm like, I don't know how many other communities you have that are like, just trying to, like, book things around, like amusement parks and like miniature golf.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

I always do San Francisco because we got the zoo. And I know.

[Heather McDonald]

And then. And when my son. I remember I took my son. We went to the Alcatraz thing when he was older. Like when he was like 10 or 11. That was like such a fun tour. And yeah, San Francisco's fun. There's a lot to do there.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

We always book around.

[Heather McDonald]

I know you're doing New York in December.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

New York in December. Gramsey Theater. We Sold out two shows on Saturday. We're gonna probably add one show on Sunday.

[Heather McDonald]

Awesome.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Hopefully we can edit that one.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

That is so great. It's so lovely meeting you. And I really loved, like, our heart to heart and getting to know you so well. And everybody, please, what's your Instagram is.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Jiao Ying Summers say how you spell it. J I, A O Y I N G S U, M M, E R S. Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

And of course, it's gonna be all linked and everything in the notes of this show. And thank you so much. And just to remind you guys, I will be. I think there's like, literally a handful of tickets if you get them right now. I'm almost sold out. MGM Grand. November 14th. A live juicy scoop. This is BravoCon weekend. So it's a very Bravo centric, juicy scoop show. And that's [e-mail] and thank you so much.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you so much, Heather.

[Heather McDonald]

You're so great.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

And thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

And you changed your flight and everything to make this recording, of course. So I appreciate it because I was like when you said your special's coming out the 8th, I'm like, well, I really think you need to come on the show before the 8th. So people, like, put it in their calendar, watch it, talk about it, share it.

[Zhao Ying Sommers]

Thank you so much for making it happen. I appreciate you so much.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, you're adorable. Thank you, thank you.