Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

Episode: My Gay Husband and The New Bachelorette Controversy
Date: September 11, 2025

Overview & Main Theme

This episode of Juicy Scoop features Host Heather McDonald diving into two ultra-juicy topics: the headline-making casting of Taylor Frankie Paul as the new Bachelorette, and an in-depth interview with Jessica Frew, author and coach, about her extraordinary marriage journey discovering her husband was gay, navigating their divorce, and building a positive, blended family post-divorce within the context of the Mormon church. The episode blends pop culture hot takes with heartfelt, candid explorations of marriage, family, faith, and personal growth.

Hot Topics Recap

The Taylor Frankie Paul Bachelorette Controversy

Starts: (00:30)

• Heather dishes on the new casting of TikTok/Mormon influencer Taylor Frankie Paul as the next Bachelorette on ABC.
  • Taylor's notoriety stemmed from her confessional on the TikTok group (“MomTok”) about “soft swinging”—Mormon women experimenting and the group imploding when people caught feelings.
  • Taylor’s relationships: married young, two kids with first husband, divorce, then second relationship, another child, another split, now a single mother of three and the Bachelorette.
  • “This is extremely juicy genius, I think, to ignite into the franchise of what is the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, the Golden Bachelor and the Golden Bachelorette.” (03:34)
  • Heather contrasts the decision with the franchise’s usual tendency to recycle past contestants, lauding ABC for breaking the mold.
  • Juxtaposes with controversy over “MomTok” viral personalities and their supposed “cancelations” (e.g., Dancing with the Stars casting).
  • Heather plugs her true crime spin-off, Juicy Crimes, touching on influencer controversies (“You’re gonna subscribe to Juicy crimes, you’re gonna leave a review…” (04:11))
• Reflection on how “cancelled” figures can rebound, citing how “life can work out, girls”.
• The Bachelorette Franchise’s Revitalization:
  • Heather sees Taylor’s casting as a revitalizing move for the franchise, noting it introduces real drama, star power, and diversity (mother of three, ex-Mormon, influencer).
  • Hype for the upcoming Golden Bachelor, revealing her close friend Maya is a contestant: “She is on the Golden Bachelor and her name is Maya… it’s gonna be good.” (08:00)

Interview: Jessica Frew — “My Gay Husband”

Starts: (10:55)

Jessica Frew shares her jaw-dropping story: marrying young within the Mormon church, learning her husband was gay, walking through divorce, and eventually finding strength and new love. Her upcoming book “Shove Your Shoulds” explores how she rebuilt her identity and helps others face big life pivots.

Jessica’s Background & Mormon Upbringing

(11:45-15:22)

• Born and raised in Idaho in a “very conservative Christian religion” (LDS/Mormon).
• Describes large Mormon communities in Idaho with playful specifics like “dirty sodas.”
• Married first husband, Steve, at age 20 after meeting at Idaho State University (not BYU).
  • “Very much typical in the Mormon Church to get married very quickly.” (14:12)
• Married/sealed in the Mormon temple; explains the significance of “sealing” (eternal marriage, family sealed in afterlife).

Handling Divorce & Mormon Doctrine

(15:46-17:41)

• Explains the complex process of “canceling” a temple sealing after a divorce—men can be sealed to multiple women, but not vice versa.
• Points to the high (and surprising) rate of divorce in Mormon communities.

Beginning of the “Gay Husband” Revelation

(17:52-21:42)

• Five years into marriage, one daughter together.
• Discovered Steve was gay via gay porn pop-ups on the computer.
  • “Are you gay? Like, Steve, are you gay? And--he’s like, no. I just felt it was better to not disrespect women. […] This is like how deep in denial he was.” (18:53)
• Two years in, Steve attended therapy where a counselor told him directly: “You’re gay and until you accept and love that about yourself, you’re going to struggle with all these other things.” (19:50)
• Jessica describes their intimacy as “very healthy”—about 3-4 times a week.
  • “I talked to my friends…and they’re like, we’re not having that much sex…and they didn’t know Steve was gay.” (20:42)

Coping with His Emerging Identity

(22:04-23:55)

• Family largely unaware at first; only Steve’s mom told a year pre-divorce—"She was a mess."
• They move to Belize for Steve’s hotel management job; describes “no real gay life there,” which helped stabilise their marriage.

The Affair & Breakdown

(35:20-39:00)

• Jessica recounts sensing something was wrong post-family trip.
  • “I felt sick. Like, I could just tell something was totally different.” (34:23)
• She checks Steve’s email and confesses. Steve immediately admits to having had an affair with a man—his first sexual encounter, first time drinking.
  • “Jessica, you have no reason to be sorry. I had an affair with a man. I was with him the whole weekend when you were gone. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” (35:18)
  • “This has never felt so right. Like, I’ve never felt something so right in my life, except for the fact that I know it's going to hurt you so badly.” (37:03)
• Jessica insists on meeting the man, has a dinner with Steve and his lover.
  • “He was the most gentle, kind man…Steve was just like a ghost…pure white sitting at that table.” (40:28)
  • The affair partner sobs, tells Jessica: “I just told him to stay with you. I’ve always wanted a wife and kids and if I could have found someone as accepting as you, I would have done that.” (42:33)

Aftermath: Divorce, Co-parenting, & Family Dynamics

(43:34-45:53)

• Divorce process was fast and amicable; Jessica returns to Boise with their daughter, Steve signs whatever’s needed.
• Jessica fosters healthy boundaries:
  • Encourages family (including her brother) to welcome Steve for the sake of their daughter: “Steve’s gonna be at her birthdays, and he’s gonna be at holidays…” (45:10)
  • They reunite for family photos, supporting their daughter’s sense of security amidst big changes.

Attempting Reconciliation & Self-Discovery

(45:57-51:51)

• Jessica and Steve briefly attempt to rekindle their marriage.
  • Steve moves back to Boise, but their relationship unravels: Steve drinks behind Jessica’s back, continues dating men, and the “attraction [to Jessica] was just gone” post-affair.
  • “I want someone that wants all the girly parts and all the things…Ultimately, I was like, I can’t do this.”
• Jessica is honest about the emotional complexity:
  • “Why do I need him to want me? Like, why is this such a big deal?—That’s like what a marriage is.” (51:02)

Meeting and Marrying Husband #2, Matt

(51:54-66:09)

• Meets Matt, another Mormon, at church (after seeing him with Steve on mountain biking outings).
  • “I saw Matt, and I was like, I’m gonna marry that guy. I was like, that’s my future husband.” (50:15)
• Matt and Steve become friends, further blending family structures.
• Jessica patiently pursues Matt, who is also recently divorced (and dating another Jessica).
  • After months of persistence, Matt breaks up with the other woman and proposes; he and Jessica are married eight weeks later.
• Blending their families brought more challenges than divorce itself.
  • “Blending families and co-parenting and second marriage is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” (71:23)
  • Candid stories about false abuse allegations, custody exchanges at fire stations, and complex stepfamily navigation.
  • “I would rather lose him [Matt] than lose who I was. I can’t—it’s not something I’m willing to give up.” (72:40)

Co-parenting, Step-parenting, and Found Family

(66:23-75:19)

• Matt and Steve’s positive co-parenting relationship:
  • “They are so good together.” (66:23)
  • The three co-hosted a podcast, Husband in Law.
  • All live near each other; Steve’s past partner was welcomed into the family.
• Both speak openly about the psychological work, communication, and boundaries needed to ensure their children thrive.

Leaving the Mormon Church & Redefining Faith

(52:13-60:25)

• Jessica recounts her gradual distancing from church after wrestling with church views on homosexuality (e.g., Prop 8) and the treatment of women.
  • “If I believe the things I believe about God… the way we’re taught in church doesn’t feel like love to me.” (58:22)
  • “Steve as Penny’s dad would never have the same privileges or experiences as me within the church if he came back, and that just doesn’t sit right.” (59:34)
• The importance of building community—even when leaving a tight-knit faith.

Jessica’s Book: “Shove Your Shoulds”

(75:19-78:31)

• Written to empower women to reconnect with themselves through values-driven decision-making and breaking free from outside judgment/advice.
• Insights on:
  • The power and process of making aligned decisions post-divorce or crisis.
  • The loud “shoulds” from friends, family, and culture—how to recognize and discard them.
  • “We get stuck in those emotions and they’re not leading us towards what we ultimately want.” (76:15)
• Book available at shoveyourshoulds.com
• Jessica is active at @heyjessicafrew on Instagram.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Are you gay? Like, Steve, are you gay?” —Jessica to her first husband (18:53)
• “Jessica, you have no reason to be sorry. I had an affair with a man…I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” —Steve’s confession (35:18)
• “This has never felt so right. Like, I’ve never felt something so right in my life, except for the fact that I know it’s going to hurt you so badly.” —Steve reflecting on his affair (37:03)
• “I want someone that wants all the girly parts and all the things…that’s what a marriage is.” —Jessica on realizing her needs (51:02)
• “They are so good together. It’s been a journey…” —Jessica on Matt and Steve’s friendship and co-parenting (66:23)
• "If I believe the things I believe about God...the way we’re taught in church doesn’t feel like love to me.” —Jessica on leaving Mormon doctrine (58:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• (00:30) – Taylor Frankie Paul Bachelorette controversy
• (08:00) – Golden Bachelor excitement
• (10:55) – Interview with Jessica Frew begins
• (17:52) – Discovering husband’s sexuality
• (34:23) – The affair revelation
• (40:28) – The dinner with Steve’s lover
• (45:53) – Co-parenting after divorce
• (50:15) – Meeting future husband Matt
• (52:13) – Leaving the Mormon church
• (66:23) – Matt and Steve’s ‘Husband-in-Law’ relationship
• (75:19) – Writing “Shove Your Shoulds” and resources for women

Tone & Takeaways

• Heather maintains her signature frank, irreverent, and empathetic tone, pushing for curiosity and clarity in both pop culture gossip and deep personal narratives.
• Jessica is admirably candid and thoughtful, frequently focusing on empathy, emotional responsibility, and healthy boundaries.
• The episode delivers both tabloid-worthy juiciness and genuinely helpful advice for anyone navigating faith, sexuality, divorce, or blended families.

For more on Jessica Frew’s story and insights, visit shoveyourshoulds.com or @heyjessicafrew on Instagram.