Stagecoach and the Hilarious John Crist

Summary

Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

Episode: "Stagecoach and the Hilarious John Crist"

Date: April 28, 2026
Guests: John Crist (comedian)
Host: Heather McDonald
Studio: Studio71

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Episode Overview

On this episode of Juicy Scoop, Heather McDonald welcomes the brilliantly funny Southern comic John Crist. The show dives deep into comedy careers, religious upbringings, surviving and evolving through the chaos of the industry, and the heartwarming and offbeat insights of suburban and church life. From Stagecoach festival adventures and Bravo TV drama to a candid conversation on faith, sobriety, cancellation, and finding one’s calling, this episode is equal parts hilarious, insightful, and heartfelt.

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Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. Heather's Stagecoach Recap (01:25-06:00)

• Heather recaps her adventures at the Stagecoach festival with her friend Stacy—switching outfits, surviving desert winds, and sneaking in karaoke at the Siren (Sydney Sweeney's lingerie brand pop-up).
• Playing it smart with tennis shoes instead of boots, navigating festival weather, and beating evacuation orders.
• "I have never experienced this kind of wind. I thought I was on the moon—if someone has ever gone there, which we still don’t know if they have." — Heather (05:00)
• Briefly touches on Summer House’s leaked audio and her view that reality producers stir drama via Reddit.

2. Welcoming John Crist & Comedy Origins (07:33-13:36)

• Heather shares how she DM’d John for 6 years to get him on the podcast.
• A playful discussion about the Valley versus Beverly Hills, the history of porn and real estate in the Valley, and the "no barrier to entry" careers: comedian, realtor, podcaster.
• Both reflect on their comedy roots, open mics, and the importance of authenticity in standup.

3. The Changing Landscape of Comedy (13:36-20:18)

• The difficulty of being a comic in LA and the importance of differentiating oneself—especially as a female comedian.
• John’s rise from Comedy Works in Denver, and how the culture has shifted thanks to social media and podcasting.
• Insight that comedians, realtors, and podcasters are all “titles anyone can claim”.

Notable Quote:

"The only thing easier than becoming a comedian or a realtor is a podcaster." — Heather (10:24)

4. Comedy, Image & Ozempic (15:08-18:35)

• The challenge comics face when their “brand” changes (e.g., losing weight quickly and outgrowing old material).
• "For a funny comedian who was heavy, that was their entire act... but now if he got skinny, he wouldn’t be able to say that joke anymore." — Heather (16:13)

5. Social Media, Chelsea Lately & Finding Your Niche (19:03-22:24)

• How early adoption of social and podcasting helped certain comics survive, using “Chelsea Lately” as an example of springboarding careers.
• Emphasis that modern comics must weave personal life and pop culture for long-term staying power.

Notable Quote:

"Comedy is subjective, and you relate to who you relate to." — Heather (71:44)

6. Faith, Upbringing, and Family (26:46-34:35)

• John’s background: one of 8 kids, son of a pastor-turned-mayor (Lilburn, GA).
• Reflects on discipline in big families and the relaxed parenting for younger kids.
• How upbringing, support, and faith influenced their resilience in Hollywood and comedy.

Notable Quotes:

“We wake up and we look at the world. We don't like the way it's headed. We try to change it—first by changing people’s hearts in religion. Then I tried to change it by legislation. And you, as a son, you're kind of doing the same thing—trying to change it with ideas.” — John Crist’s dad (27:16)

"It is like a f you to God if you don't use the gift that was blessed upon you that not everybody can do." — Heather (87:05)

7. Navigating Hollywood & Holding Belief (47:00-53:38)

• Both share stories about being believers in show business and times their faith was challenged.
• John reveals being "me-too'd" early in his career, not in the usual direction—a male headliner propositioning him—and how faith and supportive parenting shielded him from poor decisions.
• Both discuss how some “cancellations” are short-lived or even transformative if handled with introspection.

Notable Moment:

Heather and John swap stories about inappropriate advances in the entertainment industry, revealing vulnerability and the unwritten rules for career advancement in Hollywood (49:41-53:03).

8. Sobriety, Scandal & Redemption: John Crist’s Story (54:44-84:21)

• John candidly addresses his 2019 “cancellation” and entering rehab, sharing how his decline led to recovery and realignment with his values.
• Discussion on the specificity of cancellation in religious communities: “If you're performing in church, you probably are behaving as a Christian—and I wasn't.”
• The impact of viral rumors, shame, and the gift of hitting “rock bottom”—ultimately saving his life and opening new creative doors.
• Heather praises John’s proactive approach to his troubles and for reemerging even stronger.

Notable Quotes:

"I hate to say that, cancellation 100% saved my life." — John (77:19)

"I believe in life’s rejection as God’s protection." — Heather (80:13)

9. The Evolution of Entertainment: Gatekeepers & Going Indie (87:06-97:38)

• The liberation brought by podcasting and social media—no longer beholden to traditional Hollywood gatekeepers.
• John’s creation of the indie comedy series “Springfield First”—pitched a thousand times to networks, now self-produced and thriving online.
• The freedom to satire church life without network censorship and the power of directly reaching niche audiences.

Notable Quote:

"It takes like a very, very... all the most touchy subjects, but it doesn't take a side." — John on Springfield First (96:54)

10. Full Circle: Using Your Gifts & Impacting People (87:06-89:26)

• The spiritual (and practical) responsibility to use one’s unique talents to uplift others, with echoes of Eddie Murphy inspiring a grieving mother to laugh again.
• Heather’s philosophy: “When your intentions are pure, the success will come.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote/Description | Speaker | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | 10:24 | "The only thing easier than becoming a comedian or a realtor is a podcaster." | Heather | | 16:13 | "For a funny comedian who was heavy, that was their entire act... Now if he got skinny, he wouldn't..." | Heather | | 27:16 | “We wake up and we look at the world. We don't like the way it's headed.... changing it with ideas.” | John’s dad | | 71:44 | "Comedy is subjective, and you relate to who you relate to." | Heather | | 77:19 | “I hate to say that, cancellation 100% saved my life.” | John | | 80:13 | "I believe in life’s rejection as God’s protection." | Heather | | 86:32 | "If you truly have that ability [to uplift others], who are you to not share it?" | John | | 87:05 | "It is like a f you to God if you don't use the gift that was blessed upon you that not everybody can do." | Heather | | 96:54 | “It takes all the most touchy subjects, but it doesn’t take a side.” | John |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:25-06:00: Heather’s Stagecoach story
• 07:33-13:36: Getting John on the podcast, comedic roots
• 15:08-18:35: Ozempic, comedians and weight/image
• 19:03-22:24: Social media and the Chelsea Lately effect
• 26:46-34:35: Family & faith backgrounds
• 47:00-53:38: Handling Hollywood, boundaries, and “cancellation”
• 54:44-84:21: John's scandal, sobriety, and full-circle comeback
• 87:06-89:26: The purpose of gifts, creative mission
• 94:54-99:13: Springfield First: Creating a modern indie sitcom
• 101:01-104:44: Tour dates, PF Chang’s bit, Nashville camaraderie

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, open-hearted, and often poignant.
• Heather’s signature “no holds barred” anecdotes blend with John’s southern charm, wit, and thoughtful candor.
• Moments of raw vulnerability punctuated by laugh-out-loud stories.

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Useful For

• Fans of comedy, pop culture, and real-life Hollywood stories
• Anyone curious about the interplay of faith, fame, and failure in entertainment
• Listeners seeking encouragement, authenticity, and behind-the-scenes perspectives from working comics
• Those interested in the evolving state of entertainment—gatekeepers vs. indie creators

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Where to Find More

• John Crist's tour and Springfield First: johncristcomedy.com
• Heather's Dates & More: heathermcdonald.net
• Instagram: @johnbcrist | @heathermcdonald

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone who loves comedy, pop culture, and raw, redemptive storytelling with plenty of juicy insights and unapologetic laughs.

Transcript

[John Crist]

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[Heather McDonald]

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[John Crist]

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[Heather McDonald]

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[John Crist]

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[Heather McDonald]

cutter included at no extra cost when you buy the Milwaukee M18 String Trimmer Shop. Seven days of spring Outdoor Power deals at the Home Depot now through April 29th. This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home with agents who close twice as many deals. When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get [e-mail] own the dream Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales For real life, Mr. Sacred, cereal data and Cereal Sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid Real Life podcast. Listen in. Listen up.

[John Crist]

Woo woo.

[Heather McDonald]

Hannah McDonald, juicy scoo hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have such a great interview for you guys today with the hilarious John Crist. He is so funny and we also get into some heartfelt moments, so I know you guys are gonna love it. And first let me tell you, yeah, I went to Stagecoach. I had such a blast. I went with my girlfriend Stacy. We met the first day of usc. So we had such a fun girls weekend and we went Friday and we went at the golden hour. I had worn my boot barn outfit to a party before, took the photos that I needed and then I switched out my shoes to tennis shoes. And it is a life changer for everyone. And I don't know how these girls did it like multiple days. I knew from the previous years. So in one of the photos I showed my tennis shoes because I told you guys I was going to go tennis shoes. But then we stumbled into a karaoke bar that I did not realize S Y R N is I guess it's pronounced Siren, but it is the name of Sydney Sweeney's lingerie brand and it was her, her pop up her thing. So I go, oh my God, it would be kind of great to do karaoke and get this on video. And I said, I'm sure The line is long. It wasn't. This is Friday. There was only, like, two people out of me. So, yes, I did my classic Bonnie Raid, which, for those of Juicy scoopers that have been around forever, I even talk about it in my book, you'll never blue ball in this town again about what is the best karaoke song to sing. So I sang it, and it was pretty fun. And then, you know, all. All comedians really want to be singers. I mean, Theo Vaughn got brought up on stage. And then I was like, I'm not gonna be brought up on the actual Stagecoach stage. I'm gonna go and do my karaoke. But. But what happened is, right before I about to go on, I told my friend, this is what sorority sisters do. I said, we're gonna have to switch out the shoes. Give me your boots. So when I go up on stage and you film it, I have a full western outfit on, and that's. She took my ugly tennis shoes, and I took her boots, and it was all good. And then we switched them up, and she said, you know, even for that three minutes of me filming you, I was like, wow, Heather's sneakers are really a dream. So the next day, we went to a fun party, like, at the Tommy Bahamas Hotel right there in Palm Desert, and had, like, barbecue. Got this cute charm necklace. Look at. Look at the Stetson hats and all the things. And then we went to the rodeo, which was really fun. And then I was like, okay, now we need to work the outfits around the tennis shoes again, which we did with jackets. And the wind was starting, and it was the first time I ever was smart about something. I was like, stacy, I'm telling you, I think the wind is gonna get way worse, and this just isn't fun. Let's go. Let's get out before everybody else. We then start the trek. She was wearing her tennis shoes, too. Start the trek. And it was like, I have never experienced this kind of wind. I thought I was on the moon if someone has ever gone there, which we still don't know if they have. But anyway, I was on the moon. I was trekking through, and we were like, oh. And I said, I don't even know. Like, call the Ubers.

[John Crist]

What?

[Heather McDonald]

No, let's just. She said, remember, there were cabs. Let's get a cab. Overcharged. Who cares? Got home, jumped in the shower, and then they said, we're evacuating the place. And then I was like, oh, my God, my juicy scoopers are gonna be probably so worried about me that they're gonna think that I didn't make it out in time. And I almost did a video just to say, you guys, I'm okay. And then I saw what was happening in D.C. and I was like, maybe I don't need to talk about. How about right, you guys, I didn't get to see the whole concert, but I am safe. So then I. Then they said, come on back. Well, I don't know if you were. Probably half the people didn't come back. It was. But, you know, you had to be safe. And then Sunday, I just didn't go. I watched a post Malone from my comfy couch. Anyway, it was really fun. I. It's. It's a. It's a lot of walking, but it is a good time. So then over the weekend also, there was a summer house audio leak, which sounded like somebody just had their phone there. And we heard a little bit of Sierra giving it to Amanda about her being a cheating hoey friend with West. And everybody was like, did west do it? Did he leak it so that he could just get fired and have a big career as a podcaster? Like, what is it? And then today it came out that, no, it was somebody from production. No shit. Of course it's someone from production. I knew right away. I'm like, it's coming from inside the house. And everyone's acting all angry.

[John Crist]

Oh, my God.

[Heather McDonald]

If you're a Bravo content creator and you repost this leaked audio that they found on Reddit.

[John Crist]

Oh, you.

[Heather McDonald]

They'll never work with you. No, no, this is what they wanted. Okay. It wasn't even that juicy. We're all going to. The people that are interested are going to watch the reunion no matter what. And like, I believe all those reality producers are all over Reddit because I think they. Anyone can write anything they want, and then they'll write something about one of the people in the cast, and then that person will be like, I can't believe there's a rumor on the Reddit about so and so's husband cheating. And then. Then now they've got something to. To work with on the show. That's my opinion. I think there's a ton of reality producers that are anonymous people on Reddit pages of their cast. Okay? That's my thing. All right, you guys, I'm very excited for you guys to enjoy this interview. Now let's go with John Crist. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I'm so excited to have a new guest on Juicy Scoop, a hilarious comedian. I'm sure you're familiar with him. And if you're not, you're going to be in love because he is a hilarious delight. He's a southern boy, he's a God fearing man, and he can make fun of it all. John Crist, welcome to Juicy Scoop.

[John Crist]

You finally did it.

[Heather McDonald]

I know. I've been six years, I've been dming you. Nothing raunchy, just dming you, being like, you're hilarious. Come on my show. I love your videos, your standup, your take on life.

[John Crist]

I couldn't get out here, but I come out here a couple times a year, but we can never really make it work.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And you have a bunch of shows this weekend out here, which is amazing. I loved the video that you did about how you got the nicknames of some of our cities here in Southern California.

[John Crist]

Is that correct?

[Heather McDonald]

I have not.

[John Crist]

You haven't heard them?

[Heather McDonald]

I haven't heard those, exactly. I grew up in the Valley and when I grew up in the Valley, people were very snobby about the Valley. Now they're not anymore because it's like everything's so expensive.

[John Crist]

But it used to be it valuably better than it used to be.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

The Valley's nice now.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Like, it used to be like, ew, when I went to USC. Ooh, you live in the valley. It's 10 degrees hotter there. Like, how can you handle life? And I was like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm doing pretty good. I had a nice pool and two parents and, like went to Catholic school. Like, I feel like I'm like killing the world. But is it as nice as.

[John Crist]

Let me close my eyes and think. If somebody said they're from the Valley, if I would think they were, I think they were rich.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, okay.

[John Crist]

I feel like now. But that's not. Yeah, it wasn't always like that.

[Heather McDonald]

No, no. It was like the second. Because Hollywood and Beverly Hills started and in the Valley was where porn was.

[John Crist]

Oh.

[Heather McDonald]

Before OnlyFans. And you actually had to go and be filmed and on an EHS tape and go and rent it at a blockbuster.

[John Crist]

They were like an office.

[Heather McDonald]

You'd see porn stars at star at the coffee shop. You'd see. They were kind of faint. Like it was sort of like, oh,

[John Crist]

that'd be better or worse to work at the office versus a lot of

[Heather McDonald]

them would get out of porn to become realtors. And then when the market dropped, they went back to being in porn and they said porn was easier than holding an open house. And sadly, as a former realtor, as an emotional realtor, you get fucked over harder as a realtor than when you're actually getting paid to fuck.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah. No, the realtor. The realtor we have. We're looking for a house now. And it is. It. It. She knows what she's doing, but it's probably the same as. Jerry Seinfeld said that with comedy, like, if anybody on the street wants to, they will introduce you with the same title that we have.

[Heather McDonald]

Right, right. Yes.

[John Crist]

Tonight. Right. Like, if you're a doctor, you want to become have doctor in front of your name. It's going to take you 12 years.

[Heather McDonald]

True.

[John Crist]

If you want comedian, they will introduce you tonight as our next comedian. You get the title Day one.

[Heather McDonald]

That is so true.

[John Crist]

That's probably that. But that's real estate.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Is that. Everybody can just take that. You're like, I'm a real estate agent. And. And the people in Beverly Hills sell a billion dollars worth of real estate. And the guy in the Valley.

[Heather McDonald]

The only thing easier than becoming a comedian or a realtor is a podcaster. So everything I'm doing, everything I've done has been like, literally anyone could do.

[John Crist]

No barrier to entry. No, no. I did like what you said on last podcast about nobody cares about the plight of a comedian.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, thank you. I'm glad you agree with that. Yeah.

[John Crist]

I'm just.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah.

[John Crist]

Nobody cares.

[Heather McDonald]

Cause to them, it's still an easier job than roofing, you know, so shut up.

[John Crist]

And it is.

[Heather McDonald]

It is also.

[John Crist]

It is.

[Heather McDonald]

I wouldn't know how to.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Every comedian movie is just so sad. The comedian is struggling.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

His parents are estranged, his wife. That's why I didn't like that movie. I didn't even see it. But the plot, it was like, why does the comedian always have to be, like, a bummer of a guy?

[Heather McDonald]

Yes, yes.

[John Crist]

He's always so downtrodden and, like, everything else has gone terrible.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

And people would be comedy and people

[Heather McDonald]

would say, like, oh, my God, you're a comedian. You're, like, so happy and normal. I'm like, yeah. I actually had parents that said, you should become a comedian. You're really funny. And they all saw me, you and Chris d'.

[John Crist]

Elia.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Was that the. I think that.

[Heather McDonald]

Did he say. Well, he came in. His dad was in the business.

[John Crist]

Yes. That's how he knows parents.

[Heather McDonald]

And also, when you live here, it's not like I grew up here, so it wasn't like this taboo thing to pursue the arts. It wasn't as horrible and depressing There were as kids that you knew, like, there were six year old kids that were like, a lot of pilots don't get picked up. Good luck, sugar.

[John Crist]

You know, you're gonna know what you need to do. I think you need to move to Nashville. You go out on the street in Nashville and you say you're comedian.

[Heather McDonald]

Europe, then you're special.

[John Crist]

God.

[Heather McDonald]

Because everybody else is a singer.

[John Crist]

Because nobody's a comedian here. Everybody's like doing a job like this.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

Because it's like, oh, I'm in the arts. You're like, okay, right. I'm. I work in. You're like, oh. But you go and go into any other city in America and say you're a comedian, they're like, that's unbelievable.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, that's true.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And then also as a woman, it was always just like, guys were really like overly shocked by it, you know, like that I was one. But I always kind of. I always liked that.

[John Crist]

You know what? I came up. You know where I came up. Well, you probably don't.

[Heather McDonald]

No, I know your whole story.

[John Crist]

No, you know where I came up in comedy?

[Heather McDonald]

You started doing like open night, open mic nights in Chile.

[John Crist]

I would sign up. I came up at Comedy Works in Denver.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, that's the best.

[John Crist]

I would always try to get on your shows and I never could because you know how they have all the comics there.

[Heather McDonald]

I wouldn't, I wasn't good back then.

[John Crist]

I wasn't good.

[Heather McDonald]

You weren't good enough back then.

[John Crist]

No, but you were coming. You would come through and your shows will always be sold out. And I was like, I want to, I want to get on the head of McDonald's. We'd have to sign up like every Tuesday. We'd have to run down there and put our names on for the.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, my God, this is like the

[John Crist]

best story ever for the comedians that were coming through the weekend.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, that makes me feel so special that I was so.

[John Crist]

Remember that one headshot? You had that one headshot for a long time.

[Heather McDonald]

Not the red in the white.

[John Crist]

Let me think. That was back. You didn't get new headshots Every back like 10 years ago.

[Heather McDonald]

I still don't because I just don't care. Like, I'm just like. So when this came up on 10 years, I was like, I don't want to rebrand because my parents had their same real estate, were residential. Real estate heathers. And they had their same photos for so long.

[John Crist]

Keep it.

[Heather McDonald]

And then my, my mom would be like, oh, it's like, you know, coca Cola or the Smith Brothers or whatever. And I was like, well, as long as I still look like my photo that's on the podcast, I'm like, I'm good. I'll do another one in a little bit.

[John Crist]

You've seen somebody, like, on a. Their headshot, and then they walk out, you go, wow.

[Heather McDonald]

Last show I did in Vegas, you looked like your headshot was at the MGM Grand. And part of my fun was we stayed another day and we saw David Copperfield, and we were in the second row, and we all gasped. We were, like, grabbing each other's hands. We're like, is this an impersonator?

[John Crist]

Really?

[Heather McDonald]

And why is there a Coke can in his pants? The dick was enormous. And it was right. It was, like, right there.

[John Crist]

Because they gave us the front row. Yeah. Like, I don't need to be.

[Heather McDonald]

It was.

[John Crist]

It Was that about Chris angel, too? Oh, it doesn't.

[Heather McDonald]

A magician is a magician. It's like you can make anything disappear except your old face. Like, Jesus.

[John Crist]

Well, somebody has to tell you. I think we should. We should do. We should do just a tour. We see everybody. We're in. We're in charge. Hey, you need new headshots.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Because Brian Regan looks totally different. Have you seen him lately?

[Heather McDonald]

No.

[John Crist]

He's, like, all different. And you go, this is the important.

[Heather McDonald]

Maybe I do need to get. Who wants to take. I also like to get everything for free. Who would like to take my headshot for free?

[John Crist]

But what should we. Don't you think the. Okay, so I got a buddy on Ozempic. Oh, I love it that he lost.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay, I'm not on it. I'm not on it right now, but I've dabbled. I've taken a shot here or there, but we should.

[John Crist]

Like, I'm used to him being £250. Yeah, him 150 is different person.

[Heather McDonald]

Is he less funny? Is he a funny person?

[John Crist]

I have to adjust who I'm looking at.

[Heather McDonald]

We knew him big, and it happened so fast.

[John Crist]

Does that make sense?

[Heather McDonald]

Yes. It happened so fast that it's, like, shocking. And for a funny comedian who was heavy, that was their entire act. I always remember when I was starting to do standup and I wasn't famous or anything, there was a big, heavy comedian, and he'd come on stage. Cause I always felt like I never had that good opening joke. You know, how someone would go, I look like so and so and so and so had a baby. And you'd be like, oh, yeah, they did. And it could work forever. Right?

[John Crist]

And Then you're good for. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. But he'd come out and he was heavy, and he'd go. And he would take the mic stand and he'd go, let me move this so you can see me better. And the whole place laughed. And I was like, that's such a good one.

[John Crist]

I wish I was.

[Heather McDonald]

But now, if he got skinny, he wouldn't be able to say that joke anymore.

[John Crist]

Nate Bargazzi is a Nashville. He's everywhere.

[Heather McDonald]

He's hilarious.

[John Crist]

He tells a story about he was coming up in New York City and the comic had a ponytail.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

His whole act was about his ponytail. About how girls would. And how he'd interact, and he couldn't get a ponytail. And then one day he cuts it. He goes, I don't need this. This is not part of my act. I don't need his ponytail. And so he goes out. Nate tells the story better than me does. 30 seconds, 45 seconds, just bombing. And he goes, so I used to have a ponytail. And then he went back into his old hat.

[Heather McDonald]

That is so good.

[John Crist]

There should be a. You should. If people do jokes about being overweight.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

And sometimes they're not overweight enough to be doing fat jokes.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

You know?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. You have to keep it authentic to your life. And some bits, you know, can go for a while, and then other times, you have to be like, maybe don't tell the birth story when Your kid is 28. You know what I mean? Like, maybe tell a different perspective.

[John Crist]

Do you think a comic would not go on Ozempic to keep his act?

[Heather McDonald]

I think some people struggle with it.

[John Crist]

Really?

[Heather McDonald]

Because there was a guy on SNL. Not SNL, mad TV, that was really funny. Pre Ozempic days, like, 15 years, and he did lose weight, and I. I mean, he's probably still doing fine. So I don't wanna be rude, but I don't think he. You know, I think it did affect his, like, getting jobs and stuff.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Because it made you special. Now you just look like everybody. Yeah. Now you look like everybody else. It's good for health, but. And I'm sure it's, like, fun, you know, to zip up your pants, but at the same time.

[John Crist]

But you're. If you're. It's a. You know, it's. You know what's fun? A standing ovation.

[Heather McDonald]

Exactly.

[John Crist]

That's pretty fun, too.

[Heather McDonald]

And having all those fun jokes about, you know, not being able to fit in the teacup. You know what I mean? That's a whole. Oh, my God. A heavy person can Go to Disneyland. Orlando's even better because it's humid. And do a solid 45, easy. That is relatable.

[John Crist]

Everybody gets.

[Heather McDonald]

If I do.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Go to Orlando. What am I gonna say? It's not. I.

[John Crist]

Not interested.

[Heather McDonald]

Not as good.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Not as good.

[John Crist]

Don't you think all the other. All the other comics like this. This podcast has become a behemoth. Is. Look at all the. All the other. Are all. I don't know how to ask this question appropriately. Feel like a lot of your peers are getting crushed out there with. With female comics from that, like, 10 years. Like the era when we were like, there are. None of them are doing anything.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, for. For. Okay. Yeah. It is a little hard because I think.

[John Crist]

Does that make sense? That my question makes sense?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Because I think sometimes people didn't, like, jump on the social media train and. Because I did and I joined. I got the start of the podcast over 10 years ago. I was familiar. I was like, on Twitter and Instagram when I was doing Chelsea lately. So it's like I was doing all that kind of as a little bit of an older person, but I was like, in it. Doing it. I saw this one thing, though. They said, if you could suddenly become 21 again today, like on TikTok, what would you do? And I wrote I would start my career even earlier. I'm like, when people say, what would you do? If you. I'm like, when I was with the Waynes brothers working on some movie, some of the nephews were like, you haven't heard of YouTube? I wish I would have gone home that day and created a YouTube channel. I wish I would have doing the podcast and the YouTube while I was doing Chelsea lately. I don't know that they would have let me. Probably not, but.

[John Crist]

Because I wouldn't know what it was.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, they would get mad if we would do, like, a funny Twitter joke at our home, like the night before, really. And then we would. Oh, they wanted to save it because they'd be like. And I kind of got it. They're like, this was a topic and now you've, like, put it out there.

[John Crist]

So you gotta kind of like the Chelsea era.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, you gotta kind of. You gotta. Gotta keep that a little bit because you're working on the show, which is great, because now everybody just does their own thing.

[John Crist]

Who came out of there? You and Josh.

[Heather McDonald]

Josh. I mean, as far as writers. Josh and I and Chris. Yeah, we were all writers on the show. And then. But. And Fortune and then. But also like, people that were Just regulars on it all the time were Jo Koy, Natasha Leggero. They were not writers, but they were regulars.

[John Crist]

So that's wild how that made so many careers.

[Heather McDonald]

It did because the way we structured the show, like I was there from day one. The way we structured the show gave the audience much more of a personal insight into the regulars because it wasn't just doing jokes and it wasn't even like an at midnight where you're just like doing. When we would come up with how to talk about it and then we'd say to the other writers, like I would start to say, well, with my kid, if with Britney Spears, I'm like, I have two boys and da, da, da. And then people would know, oh, Heather's the mom. Jo Koy has one son.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah. And like all of a sudden everybody had their personalities.

[Heather McDonald]

And then we promoted the day too, like your dates. But then also, yeah, people got to know you better. So then when you come on stage, they knew that you were the southern son of a Baptist angle.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Like you kind of got your rights. So then you could. You weren't just telling, you know, pop culture jokes.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

So I always thought that was really important to do. I always told the people, if you can work in background about your life while you're telling the jokes on pop culture, that's going to get you a further way.

[John Crist]

Now, you know it's taking the place of what? You know, it's taking the place of what's his name? The show's getting canceled. The cbs Colbert.

[Heather McDonald]

Colbert. Know what's taking place of it?

[John Crist]

You know the answer to this?

[Heather McDonald]

I don't.

[John Crist]

Comics Unleashed. Oh.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, yes.

[John Crist]

It's taking that time slot.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, cool.

[John Crist]

Have you been on that?

[Heather McDonald]

I have and they asked me.

[John Crist]

That guy's like the richest guy in Hollywood.

[Heather McDonald]

They asked me to do it and just. And the timing just didn't work out.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Heather McDonald]

But maybe I'll do it now. I don't know, you know, but I did it back in the day and it was good. Those were good clips to have when you didn't have clips, when you were like putting together a tape. Tape. Yeah, I know. All anyone is talking about is how many grams of protein are you getting in your diet? Protein, protein, protein. And as a meat eater, I want to have the best protein, the best cuts of meat for my family and I. And that's why I love Butcherbox. ButcherBox delivers over 100 premium protein options straight to your door, including 100% grass fed beef, free range organic chicken crate free pork and wild caught seafood. It's all responsibly raised and thoughtfully sourced so you're not guessing about what is on your plate. And for over a decade Butcherbox has led the industry with meat and seafood that's antibiotic free, hormone free and independently verified. Because when it comes to fueling your body, quality isn't extra, it's everything. Clean, whole protein means more support for strength, metabolism and that steady all day energy that we are chasing. My butcher box always includes chicken breasts and steaks every time and I also love that they offer seafood as well as an exclusive offer. Juicy Scoopers can get their choice between chicken breast or top sirloin for a year or ground beef for life plus $20 off when you go to butcherbox.com juicyscoop that's right, your choice of chicken breast or top sirloin for a year or ground Beef for Life plus $20 off your first box and free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com JuiceScoop don't forget to use our link so that they know that Heather McDowell sent you. This episode of Juicy Scoop is sponsored by Quince. You know it's time to do a little reset, a little closet redo, organize your stuff and see what works and what doesn't. And what works is great items from Quince. I absolutely love that they cut out the middleman.

[John Crist]

I love.

[Heather McDonald]

I love that the items are high quality that I can use some over and over. I've had some items for like four years now that still look just as beautiful as the day I got them because the quality is so high. Whether it's my favorite silk blouses or little silk slip dresses. I have a great linen jacket. I have really cute linen shorts that I absolutely love. I love their accessories. They have 100% Italian handwoven bags and belts and jewelry and it's just really such great quality. Refresh your spring wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com juicy for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Quincom Juicy for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com juicy there is nothing worse than when you cannot get to sleep or you wake up in the middle of the night and then you're up for hours and cannot fall back to sleep. Well, I have noticed a big improvement since I added magnesium breakthrough by Bioptimizers to my nightly routine. It really has helped me feel more settled at bedtime with a calmer mind. I wake up without that groggy feeling the next morning. And what I really appreciate is that it's just not just one type of magnesium. It's a blend of seven different forms designed to support relaxation and overall sleep quality in a more complete way. And by optimizers also offers a 365 day, no questions asked money back guarantee. That's a full year, zero risk. What I really love is that I have heard about all the different kinds of magnesium and I don't know which one to do. So I loved that this one was specifically for optimizing your sleep and it's really so good. And it's made a big difference so far. If you're ready to feel more rested, head to buyoptimizers.com juicyscoop and use my exclusive code, Juicy Scoop to get 15% off any order. When you subscribe, you'll get great discounts, free gifts, and the peace of mind of never running out again. That's 15% off any order. BuyOptimizers.com JuiceScoop Make 2026 the year you finally start sleeping great again. But let's talk about you a little bit. I love your background. So you're one of eight. You're number three.

[John Crist]

One of eight. Yep.

[Heather McDonald]

And your dad actually was a pastor. Is he still a pastor?

[John Crist]

Well, you probably didn't get this deep into the research. Sorry.

[Heather McDonald]

Did he die?

[John Crist]

But he. No, no.

[Heather McDonald]

Sorry. Okay. Sorry.

[John Crist]

Wow. He is now the mayor of our city.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh.

[John Crist]

Lilburn, Georgia, where we grew up.

[Heather McDonald]

Happening. Good for him.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Dude. He switched over. He's, you know, you try to control people by fixing their hearts.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

Now it's with the rules.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

He actually said this to me. He goes, and you're a comedian. He was a pastor and he's the mayor. He goes, we wake up and we look at the world. We don't like it. We don't like the way it's headed. We don't like. And we try to. He said, at first, I try to change it by changing people's hearts in religion. Then I try to change it by legislation. And he goes, as his son, he goes, you're kind of doing the same thing. You're just trying to change it with ideas.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[John Crist]

You know, I love that. Is that too sincere for this podcast?

[Heather McDonald]

No, I know. I love it. I love the sense of family and, you know. So your parents are still together?

[John Crist]

They're still together, yep.

[Heather McDonald]

And one of the things I loved is, so I'm the youngest of five

[John Crist]

and from the Valley.

[Heather McDonald]

From the Valley. And so we're Catholic, and my parents are very, like. They were like. They could have been comedians. Honestly, they could have been comedians, but they were in advertising and then real estate. And so they would just tell me out and out that, like, my sister and I were mistakes. My dad was like, saying, your mom couldn't read a calendar. And then every time I came home from a business trip and she had made a steak at a martini, I was like, oh, fuck, you're pregnant again. And I was just like. And then they're like, but you were such a great surprise. And so then I was like, oh, okay. And so as the youngest of five, I was this bit, which I'll let you tell, because it was so funny, but I remember I never got in trouble. And then one day, my dad was like, knock it off or something, and my older brother started doing, like, an 80s slow clap. Like, finally. Finally.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Because they had a completely different dad.

[John Crist]

Childhood.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Like, and even though there was only 10 years between us, it was just like, by the time I came, I was. They would throw me in the. In the station wagon and we would go watch Rosemary's Baby Jaws. I was like, four. They didn't care. Nobody cared. I like, that's. I'd come to school and I'd be like, did you see that made for TV movie about the mistress? And these kids would be like, who's letting you watch this? And I'm just like, I don't know. Like, nobody's watching me.

[John Crist]

Like, everybody in the comments of this bit is that, like, older siblings get disciplined less than the younger. Is that everybody get disciplined. They have no discipline.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

But they.

[Heather McDonald]

Because their parents are tired.

[John Crist]

That's what everybody said. Yeah, everybody goes. They're just like the first one. You know how, like. Yeah, Especially in L. A is probably. We're going to.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

New mattresses. We got to make sure the sheets are right different. Because the toxins in the sheets. Because he heard about the. And the bottle feeding versus the.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

We're gonna do like, everybody in the south is big on, like, cloth diapers now.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, what a nightmare. Never would I.

[John Crist]

That sounds like. Like, hey, we're doing it. And then.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Every parent, you go, oh, you got that stroller? Well, did you know that if you got you, I gotta get a new stroller. And but then by the. Especially by kid number eight or five after

[Heather McDonald]

three now, did you have one of those families. Not to compare you to the Duggards. Okay. But did you have one of those families where you Were.

[John Crist]

They're not doing good.

[Heather McDonald]

No, they're not.

[John Crist]

Love them, but I know, I know a couple of them there. Yeah. Yeah. They're not doing good.

[Heather McDonald]

But were you, like, assigned to, like, raise a little one? Which one was.

[John Crist]

We would always say so if Emma is my youngest, second to youngest sister,

[Heather McDonald]

it was she or something.

[John Crist]

I'm the closest with.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

That we were like, I remember my brother Elias. I was in. I was probably 12, and somebody came over and they were like, well, you shouldn't be babysitting. I'm like, well, I am.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

So I don't. What do you want me to say? I'm in charge.

[Heather McDonald]

They're like, you're in charge because you're a boy or so young.

[John Crist]

I think the older ones were gone.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

And they were like, well, John's there.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

But I knew. I don't know. I knew about the house and how they're like. Like there was just. No, it's not like it is now.

[Heather McDonald]

I was babysitting at 12. I had people under me. I was like the pimp of the neighborhood. I was like, I can't work tonight, but I've got a girl.

[John Crist]

We got somebody to come over. I've got a girl.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I was So I was 12.

[John Crist]

Yeah. And nobody now. Like, if you have a babysitter now, the background checks.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, my God. Yeah, all of it.

[John Crist]

This is a different time.

[Heather McDonald]

Absolutely.

[John Crist]

In a better time. I say.

[Heather McDonald]

And so when in this bit, this standup bit, you say, you go home. It's now your younger sister. And I loved it. So you just. Can you just tell the story?

[John Crist]

Yeah, she get. I mean, I remember. I remember she gets like, we couldn't. First of all, I come home because I. Lilburn, Georgia, had a show in Atlanta. So I was like, I have to stay at my parents house. I come home, my sister is in the basement watching a movie with her boyfriend with the door locked. I'm just like, what is going on here? And she's like, my parents are like, john, leave her alone. I can leave her alone. We had to watch TV in the kitchen on. On separate cow. If I had a girl over separate couches.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, my God.

[John Crist]

And blankets. No shot, dude. My parents would turn up the air conditioning so we couldn't. And we were freezing. But there are no blankets because they don't want. You know what can happen under a blanket? The blanket, no shot. And Christian movies, no cussing. There's actually a technology that's actually. They've been sued, but it would Go through movies and take out all the sex scenes.

[Heather McDonald]

I had a friend, something similar that I'd be like, let's go to the movie. Cause, like, again, my parents are working. I would be like, let's take the rtd, which was the bus down to the movie theaters. Like, nine. I'm not kidding.

[John Crist]

I believe you. I believe you.

[Heather McDonald]

At nine. And then I'd be like, let's go see, like, Greece or whatever. And it was like, no, that's too dirty. Or, you know. Or, you know, the tidings or the Catholic. There was like a Catholic review of movies of what could be okay and what not could be okay.

[John Crist]

Same.

[Heather McDonald]

And we did not. My family didn't follow that at all.

[John Crist]

Oh, they didn't?

[Heather McDonald]

No. And we didn't do confession after, like the first confession, or we do it through school. And then I'd be like, mom, why aren't you going to confession? And she'd be like, well, I just think when you're perfect, why waste the priest's time? There's just. They've got so many people to see. And I was just like, yeah, I don't know that. Like, we'd go to Mass every Sunday. We'd go to Mass every Sunday. We'd say grace. We would talk the Catholic talk. But, like, there were like. Then my dad would be like, what are we? Cafeteria Catholics. Which mean you, like, handpick. Like, maybe you go on birth control, but you still go to Mass, you

[John Crist]

know, you gotta do. I'm doing this part, but not that. Cafeteria Catholics, what that's called.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Picking just a few things.

[John Crist]

We're not doing that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, it's okay, but they can. Y'. All. Y' all drink? Catholics can drink.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes. We always.

[John Crist]

See, we can't drink. I mean, a little Pentecostal, like in the South. It's just not. Or like a Baptist. No, but Catholics are always.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you drink now?

[John Crist]

Well, I'm sober now. I went to rehab in like 2019, but. Oh, when did you start drinking 30? Once I got popular, I didn't know what to quite do.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, yeah. So what was that like? So you really popped when? Like about 10 years ago.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I was no name comedian, struggling. You wouldn't put me on your shows. And then I pop. And then Heather's like, oh, what's up? Come on my show. No, I don't think I. I'm just joking.

[Heather McDonald]

First of all, I never. I would always say, can I have an opener? And a. And even back then, I wouldn't look at the people's stuff.

[John Crist]

Now you tell Wendy.

[Heather McDonald]

Now I do look. Now I say, I need somebody. Can I have, like, four people? And now it's so easy. They'll send me their Instagram, and then I'll be like, okay, this is my first. Is my second, third and fourth choice. Or, you know, just because. But in the past, I didn't do that. And I would get some doozies.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And that would, like. I remember I had this one guy before show in Aspen, and he's. His whole act is like, how he doesn't like screwing women over 40. I'm like, who do you think's in my audience? Like, and it was just like. And he's like, I'm, you know, doing charity work. And I was like, I'm waiting on the wings going, I can't believe, Heather, you didn't check out this. So after that, I checked out everybody that I tried to find a good match.

[John Crist]

He's not working anymore.

[Heather McDonald]

He's no one faint. He never turned out to be faint.

[John Crist]

Oh, obviously. Cause you wouldn't do something like that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, yeah. And then as he's introducing me, which he's just met me 10 minutes before he went on stage, he's like, this is a really good friend of mine. We've been friends for a long time. And I'm like, oh, my.

[John Crist]

Don't say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just dig the hole on stage.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, okay, so you said you. So when was kind of a moment where you felt like you, like, kind of popped and you're like, I can't believe this is everything I dreamed of.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And like, when was that? What Was that moment?

[John Crist]

2016, probably.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

I remember I put out a video, it's called Christian Girl Instagram, where, like, I. Christian, like, evangelical Christian that would, like, take a photo. This is back in the early Instagram.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Crist]

About. They had their Bible open, a verse highlighted, maybe a cup of coffee and a cup of fruit there. And, like. And it was so ornately organized that I go, you probably read the Bible for. Same thing with cat. You probably read the Bible for two minutes.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It took you 30 to organize this photo. Mary, was it before reels? It was for any, like, Instagram photo. There's not even carousels. It was just one photo.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And then the caption would be, like, mornings with the Lord or something. And I thought that was so silly that I made a video making fun of, like, satirizing her, like, hey, if you're gonna do this, make sure you do this. Make sure you highlight these verses. Make sure you put these books in the background. Make it look. Use these filters. Make it look good to get more likes. And everybody. It kind of just like went viral. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And then were you doing a lot of, like, Christian church based, funny, you know, relatable jokes in your act from the beginning or did you kind of fall into that? Oh, you always did.

[John Crist]

I was at the beginning, I was like, yeah, because. But I would like. But do, you know, do you know any, like, comedians that do churches?

[Heather McDonald]

I mean, I've followed some and I do think it's really great when you can tap into that world and also be clean. I tell younger comedians too. Like, listen, I am kind of dirty, but I didn't start out that way. I like, start out clean. Because you'll work so much more if you can.

[John Crist]

You work, eat quicker. I don't do any churches anymore.

[Heather McDonald]

I mean, not necessarily churches, but just being a little bit of a cleaner act can also really be good.

[John Crist]

Maybe can make 500 bucks to go to your country club and do the party for. At the beginning. At the beginning, yeah. But I was going to make. I always stayed in the club because I came up in Denver, so I was always staying in the club because I. I felt like the club comics were better. Yeah, actually way better. They were sharper and they were like. And I was like, well, I got to stay here. If I go over that route. Yes, it's over for me.

[Heather McDonald]

Even though you're getting the offers and stuff.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I knew that was kind of like a.

[Heather McDonald]

Like you could get pigeonholed.

[John Crist]

Yeah. So I stayed in the club the whole time. I stayed in the clubs the whole time and now I just do. I don't do any churches anymore. But, yeah, I'm still on the team.

[Heather McDonald]

You mean you still believe?

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah. I'm still on the theme.

[Heather McDonald]

But do you go to church now?

[John Crist]

I go to church, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

What kind of church do you go to?

[John Crist]

Not Catholic, I'll tell you that. We have some strong opinions about y'. All. I'm just joking. Yeah, yeah. Catholics are hot these days. Catholicism's coming back.

[Heather McDonald]

I've been watching that. I've been watching it like, like the young, especially younger people going and yeah, I think it's great. I just think anything that gets young people out of the house, whatever it is, providing. Providing it's not a dangerous cult or terrorism. I'm like, good, go.

[John Crist]

Well, the evangelical, like, mega church is, a lot of people say, is a failed experiment.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, really?

[John Crist]

You know, but it's just too, it's too.

[Heather McDonald]

Do you think there was just one too many docs exposing that?

[John Crist]

It's not.

[Heather McDonald]

I think documentaries, I think Netflix docs in the last eight years has turned certain people against a lot of religions. Like, honestly, it makes you kind of go, God, could I be a preacher? Like, could I start my own church? Like, who is this person and why, you know, and why do. Why should I be? Like going to them and listening to them every Sunday? Like, I don't know, you know?

[John Crist]

Yeah, well, cult is based. It literally the only way it survives is based on limited information. So in the 80s, 90s, you could move out to Salt Lake, have a kind of a commune. They had their own textbooks, they didn't have cell phones. So they've stayed there so you could tell them whenever you want it right now people go, no, we're not. The whole thing kind of falls apart. Yeah, the whole idea of a cult does kind of fall apart. It's like kids in like foreign countries now they see what we're all doing, right. You can't really control if people have information.

[Heather McDonald]

So true.

[John Crist]

The whole idea of a cult, unless you're cutting off the information. Yeah, it wouldn't, wouldn't. It's not going to work.

[Heather McDonald]

And I also feel that like, I mean, okay, so with the mega churches, okay, like I was like, wow, like you can drink a coffee. Like you could have a star, like drink a coffee during mass. And like in, in my Catholic church there's always a wood bench.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Drinking anything in there.

[Heather McDonald]

There's no cup holder, a wood like uncomfortable chair. And so then I like, you know, someone would have something or I'd go and I'm like, oh my God, I'm in like a movie seat. No, I'd go to like a Christian church. Someone invite me.

[John Crist]

Well, don't say that because Catholics are Christian.

[Heather McDonald]

Right? I say, I always say, I always say Christian service. I like, I want to like what I was saying when I started Juicy Scoop, I was like, spread the word of Juicy Scoop as you would. Jesus Christ. Do your Christian service hours. When you go to Catholic school, you have to do a certain amount of Christian out Christian service hours. Yeah. And so that's just like, so every time I would ever do something as an adult that I wasn't that thrilled about, I'd be like, Heather, just compartmentalize. Those are your Christian service hours. You go to that shitty party, you

[John Crist]

gotta do that thing.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, go do that thing and be nice. And so just to kinda like, keep a balance. But I remember going, wow, this chair is really comfortable. It's really nice to have a cup of coffee. The music is better. This guy's pretty cute. I like his tight jeans. This is kind of fun.

[John Crist]

It's kinda like more commercial.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, but then I would have the Catholic guilt of, like, no, Heather, you need to go to the boring mass where the guy's accent is so strong, you don't understand what he's saying. The acoustics are horrible.

[John Crist]

Can't hear.

[Heather McDonald]

Can't hear. You don't know what's going on. Then you need to feel guilty because you didn't listen. Yeah, but at least you got in there so that when you have that audition on Thursday, God will bless you

[John Crist]

because you were there.

[Heather McDonald]

Because I was there.

[John Crist]

Yeah. You got to leave Catholic Church. You leave with some guilt, you leave with guilt. Yeah, not in the mega churches. You leave feeling great. They give you a cookie. You feel. You feel good when you leave. But I think I went to Catholic church, like, a month ago, because I didn't never been.

[Heather McDonald]

Who took you?

[John Crist]

My buddy Matt Frank.

[Heather McDonald]

Wait, wait. Oh, wait. I have that photo. Attending Catholic Church for the first time. Okay, tell me about that. What your experience.

[John Crist]

Well, he's a. He's like a. Like a. He has a big podcast. He's like a famous Catholic. I didn't even know there was, though.

[Heather McDonald]

Did he get to go to the Pope?

[John Crist]

He's doing a pod with him, I think.

[Heather McDonald]

With the Pope.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

But did he get to go with Jim Gaffigan to the Pope when they came?

[John Crist]

Oh, he's not a comedian. He's not a comedian.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. How annoyed I was when I saw the people they invited. I was like, hello.

[John Crist]

I didn't like that.

[Heather McDonald]

I'm like, hello. Like, I did 12 years of Catholic school. Paid for Catholic school for all my kids.

[John Crist]

Jim was there because he's Catholic.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, yeah. But, I mean, he deserves to be there. But some of the other ones that were there were not even Catholic. And I was like, again, just like.

[John Crist]

Just like the country club.

[Heather McDonald]

Just like. I just.

[John Crist]

Yeah, they're overlooking Heather.

[Heather McDonald]

They're overlooking me.

[John Crist]

I've been. I had the guilt since day one, where.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, yeah, I've been. I've been promoting.

[John Crist]

They had some Jews in there. I go, you guys are against each other.

[Heather McDonald]

Exactly. I would accept. We're never against each other. No, Catherine. Not that Jewish dialogue was like a class I took because it was so similar and there was such a thing. But I was in writers. I was in writers rooms. I'd done podcasts where my faith was challenged. Somebody was like, how do you believe? What is wrong with you? And then I would say, why? And then the podcast host would get so much hate for how he treated me that then I'd be like, hey, can I be on your show again? And he was like, hell, no.

[John Crist]

It was too much.

[Heather McDonald]

It was too much. Hell no. And I'm like, I did nothing wrong. You were the one that was mean to me.

[John Crist]

And then you cornered me.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And then people. But so tell me about what you thought when you went.

[John Crist]

Well, a Catholic church. First of all, the first thing I said was, there's no lobby there. If you. If you listen to. There's no. You go in and you're in. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

You're in.

[John Crist]

You open the door from the sidewalk.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And you're in evangelical.

[Heather McDonald]

I can smell it right now. I can smell the galaxy.

[John Crist]

And there's a little greet team welcome center. Kind of like, you know, like the mom's gossiping in the. In the front lobby. Not Catholic. They. They spent. They wasted no money. They go, we're every. And also, you know what? Catholics don't send the kids to a different. They're in.

[Heather McDonald]

No, you. You go through the whole. You have to sit and hear the crying and you have to be pinched and you have to.

[John Crist]

Blew my mind.

[Heather McDonald]

No, it's.

[John Crist]

We have. The kids go off to their own color and stuff. Yeah, yeah. With that coloring books. They learn about Joan and the whale and stuff like that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Not Catholics. But I think what has happened is why Catholicism is hot is because it went so far the other way that it's like, all right, let's. Like when you have a son, like, you had to have taught him something. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

So you go, well, hey, don't cuss.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

Why? Or don't.

[Heather McDonald]

And I also discuss, like, no one when you're little. Yes.

[John Crist]

Or when other people are like, don't cuss. I have an infant.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes. Yes.

[John Crist]

Don't cuss. Well, why.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Or don't steal. It has to come from something. You have to. Every parent has to give something.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

Some semblance of why the world is. Why would we.

[Heather McDonald]

I didn't really realize, like, how lucky I was to be raised with something until I got to college. And my friend goes, and we're all just talking about. There was certain girls in my sorority that had gone to other all girl Catholic high schools. And my one friend goes, have you ever noticed that anyone you meet that went to an all girl Catholic High school. Nobody regrets it. Nobody says, I wish I didn't go, wow. And I thought, wow, that's interesting. And then this one friend of mine, later on goes, I wish I knew the stories.

[John Crist]

Really.

[Heather McDonald]

She goes, I don't know the stories you're talking about because she wasn't raised as anything. And then I was like, oh, wow,

[John Crist]

I am better than people. Like, no, no, I'm just kidding.

[Heather McDonald]

But I just thought, you know, I never thought it made sense when someone said, we're not gonna raise our kid as anything because they should make their own choice. Well, they're not gonna seek it out. You could teach it to them, and then you should be understanding if it's not their thing or if they take a break, they still learned the basics of doing onto others. And that's all I cared about, because I was like, you know, I'm not.

[John Crist]

Well, there's a second part of that. Do unto others. You just said the beginning. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

As you have them doing. Yes.

[John Crist]

Well, I think everybody. I think in. In. I would say that when it becomes like when people have religious trauma or something is because they weren't allowed to ask questions.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

So you go, hey, we're going to go to Catholic Church. Why? Well, we believe that a God created the universe. We do believe that. Not lying, not murder. We don't believe in that. Here's the general worldview of what we believe in. Life.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

And where people go astray is that you have to go, don't ask questions. This is what we're doing. And you go, why are they wearing those outfits? Why do we have to do the confession? Nobody ever explained it.

[Heather McDonald]

Right, right.

[John Crist]

And that's how people get off track, I think.

[Heather McDonald]

Totally.

[John Crist]

And now there's. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And when, you know, in entering, becoming a bigger star and doing Hollywood stuff.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Now you had this success because you were one of the few commercial comedians that also could talk with knowledge about this very relatable thing of being raised in the church.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Did it ever get weird in that Hollywood is. I mean, I was in writers rooms where they would say, how could you send your kids to a Catholic school? Are they getting molested today? And joke with me. And recently I talked to a writer that used to be on Chelsea with me, and I was like, oh, how are your kids? And he told me, now he married a girl who was raised Catholic. And I go, oh, where's your son gonna go to school? And he goes, oh, we're hoping to send him to Loyola, which is a really great school here. And it's all boys. And, and I go, oh, really? And you don't feel bad that you like tormented me for eight years?

[John Crist]

Well, well, well.

[Heather McDonald]

And then he's like. And he paused and he was like, no. And kind of laughed. And I was like, that's all you need.

[John Crist]

That's all you need.

[Heather McDonald]

You got. Cause I was like, yeah, it was like actually hard to be a believer in Hollywood and not be. And especially with comedy, which is so. There's so many comedians that are just cynical about it and like, they just don't understand how you can have faith.

[John Crist]

You know something. Yeah. Some other, like, I remember this, I was like, I'm not going to tell him your name. I'm not going to tell the name because you probably know him.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

But I was like, kind of like, me too. By like a, like a male comedian.

[Heather McDonald]

He said, you hit on him.

[John Crist]

No, he, Me too, me.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, okay, okay.

[John Crist]

Does that make sense? Oh, saying, saying that you were, he was very famous.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

And I, I was young comic.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

And he, and I go, in essence, kind of like, I want to be successful, I want to be famous, I want to be popular. I want to be. But not at the extent of my.

[Heather McDonald]

So he was, he was hitting on you?

[John Crist]

Yes. You come to my room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

Sorry, did I say that?

[Heather McDonald]

No, but I understand what you mean.

[John Crist]

You're like, who me? It's like the.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay. And you're kind of laying it out as like, you got it. You understood at first, you didn't.

[John Crist]

And then I like, oh, yeah. And like, you know, paying for things and coming to my room. And I was a young comic and I was so hungry and adorable.

[Heather McDonald]

I'm sure.

[John Crist]

Well, thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

So good looking. But I can imagine.

[John Crist]

But just know. But, but you go, well, I'm not doing that. What? You're like, why don't you want to be a comedian? But I go, yeah, but my parents, they, I was raised with something. You know what I'm saying?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, I go, I'm not doing that.

[Heather McDonald]

When those type of things that make sense.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Because as a woman, it happened to me too. And I remember thinking, but I, I, my parents live in Woodland Hills. I, I'm not going to be homeless if I don't do this thing. I can go to their house.

[John Crist]

There you go.

[Heather McDonald]

They're going to still support me. They're going to, you know, I can work in real estate. I'm not, I didn't come off a bus with nobody in Hollywood. I actually have a whole Support system.

[John Crist]

It's like religion out of it.

[Heather McDonald]

I was just.

[John Crist]

Just like parents that were. Cared.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And that. You know, And I. Yeah. And I'm not embarrassed to go home. I'm not embarrassed to say, it's taken me this many years and I still haven't made a dollar. Like, I wasn't. Because I was just. No, I know that I get being entertaining. And even if I'm not on a sitcom, and even if I'm not making money, I'm good at what I do.

[John Crist]

It just has to take time to do any. Like, in auditions, like, sexually that you said you wouldn't do or.

[Heather McDonald]

No, no, but I did. I did have this. This one. I met this guy at a party, and he was an agent at a major agency. And he got my number, and I, of course, needed an agent, you know, And I had this. I had this VHS tape. And I. With, like, all my little bits. And I did this one woman show of, like, all my characters from the Groundlings and everything. And so he's like, yeah, come over. And I bring the tape.

[John Crist]

Where to? Come over. Where?

[Heather McDonald]

To the agent. Like, to the Hollywood. Like, I go up, you know, the secretary brings me in. I'm sitting there and I'm like, you know. So, like, you know, I need an agent. And, like, here's all my funny characters and everything. And he's like, come sit over here. And it was a couch, and he wasn't an old guy, so it wasn't, like, completely creeped. But then, you know, he's, like, making moves on me and stuff and crazy. And I was just like, okay, then I leave. But I still think if you. And then. And then he, like, calls me one night, like, for, like, a booty call. And I'm like, can I just get. Because I, of course, dropped him off six tapes. Because I'm thinking he's got to give it to everybody.

[John Crist]

He wants me to come back again with a new tape.

[Heather McDonald]

Lisa Kudrow, like, come on, you know, like, get me on a sitcom. And so then I'm like, I really do those tapes back. Because each tape costs, like, $10, you know. And I come back to the office,

[John Crist]

I give you the tapes back.

[Heather McDonald]

You know, you try. So when you told the guy, like, no.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Was it. Did he then just drop you like a hot potato and was sort of embarrassed of the rejection or.

[John Crist]

No, I just said. And I just said, I'm just not. I'm not gonna come to your room. Cause we would tour.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, on the way. Like, he Would bring me on tour.

[Heather McDonald]

So you're the opener or feature. Yeah, but.

[John Crist]

But, like, it is a huge opportunity to open.

[Heather McDonald]

I opened for Chelsea, and that was very, very good for me. It also made sense since I was on the show as well. But that is huge for the stage. Time to get in front of all those people.

[John Crist]

And before. And looking back now, you're like, I was not skilled enough.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

To be. I shouldn't have been. And then you look back on it now you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought this was on merit. They're like, no, dude, no.

[Heather McDonald]

You look like someone we could turn.

[John Crist]

Yeah. You look. You look vulnerable. It's not funny. It's not funny. I know, but it is. But you go. And we still. I still went on the road for a while, and he. And I do credit him with. That's the thing. That's the. It's the thing. It's tricky part about this podcast, because some of these people are very, very brilliant and talented. Would do anything for you. And they also have the darkest demons. So all the people that we. On the pod, you go, what do we make of them? And you want to put them here or here?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, do we like this guy now?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Or now this guy's out. Or Taylor, Frankie Paul, or whoever we're talking about, you're like, no.

[Heather McDonald]

X.

[John Crist]

And you're like, well, that if I, you know, they could. The people can be both. That's what's tricky is this guy helped my career and would literally do anything for me, but also had, like, the darkest. It sincerely would do anything for me.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. I think it's different, like, with the Taylor, Frankie, Paul.

[John Crist]

I don't know. I brought her up. No, no.

[Heather McDonald]

But I'm just saying I think it's kind of different when it's, like a reality star, because you are entertaining to watch, but you are not an entertainer. You are not. You're not writing music. You're not singing. You're not, you know, you're not a comedian. You're not a writer.

[John Crist]

You're just. You gotta stay in the house.

[Heather McDonald]

But I still also think that she can absolutely come back. Cause I think people forgive. I think they're less Forgiven.

[John Crist]

Kanye west came back.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. I think they're less forgiving of women, and I think women are harsher on women. But I think. And then I think, you know, but I think for. I think even more and more, the cancellation is shorter periods of time. It's shorter and shorter and shorter, but,

[John Crist]

yeah, it goes less and Less. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

When the other girl, the other girl in is doing great on Broadway. Chicago.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. She got on the show and was like a dancer to begin. Yeah. And she was like, I'm gonna do this. And yeah. This episode of Juicy Scoop is sponsored by RO. Everybody's talking about GLP1s. It's not a secret. It works. Maybe you want to get into it. Maybe you want to see if you're. If it's right for you. Or maybe you're like, I don't want to do it because I could never stick a needle and give myself a shot. Well, that is what's so great about RO because RO offers the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the lowest cost around. And the new GLP1 pill has the same weight loss ingredients as the shot impacts comparable results to the shot. That's one daily pill for fewer cravings and feeling fuller with an innovative new formula, the new FDA approved GLP1 pill is available for $149 for the first dose in addition to your row membership fee and $299 per month for the higher doses. Go to Ro Co Juicy Scoop to see if you're eligible for the new GLP1 pill on RO. That's RO CO juicy scoop to get started on RO, go to RO CO safety for box warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. Everyone's got that one friend who's always wearing the cutest outfits and you're like, where did you get that? Can I just go shop in your closet? Well, that is whatnot. Whatnot is the greatest shopping app. It is the number one live shopping app in the US where shopping happens in real time with real people, real conversations and incredible deals. You almost never pay full price. You shop shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry and more, all without the retail sticker. Shop. This is the best place to find great deals on products you love and there are amazing sellers with great taste. Going live 24 7, you can comment in real time and they will show you a closeup of the clothes, explain the sizing and answer any question. I think it's such a fun way to get something fun and different and exciting and get those new looks that you love where you're like, would this work for me or not? Well, you could find out on Whatnot like I did and really have a good time with it. You got to check it out. Download the Whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search whatnot W H a T n O t whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals. Everyone's got that one friend who's always wearing the cutest outfits, and you're like, where did you get that? Can I just go shop in your closet? Well, that is whatnot. Whatnot is the greatest shopping app. It is the number one live shopping app in the US where shopping happens in real time with real people, real conversations, and incredible deals. You almost never pay full price. You shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and more, all without the retail sticker shop. This is the best place to find great deals on products you love. And there are amazing sellers with great taste. Going live 24 7, you can comment in real time and they will show you a closeup of the clothes, explain the sizing, and answer any question. I think it's such a fun way to get something fun and different and exciting and get those new looks that you love where you're like, would this work for me or not? Well, you could find out on whatnot like I did and really have a good time with it. You got to check it out. Download the whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search whatnot w h a t n o t whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals. I love this one. When you talk to the audience about, you got baptized, Are you Catholic? The baptism thing is so interesting too, because one thing I was gonna say about Christians is that I like, I

[John Crist]

can't wait for this general.

[Heather McDonald]

I like to get invited to parties. I like to feel wanted. And I liked how in college and everything, I must have been someone that they felt that they could get to turn. They could turn because I did like talking about Jesus.

[John Crist]

We're generally interested. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And then they'd be like, are you saved? And I was like, yes. Like, I've always believed, so how am I not? And then I was like, oh, you know, like, one time this cute guy was in sae he kept inviting me to go to this thing, and I just thought, oh, he's so cute and he likes me. And then I realized, oh, it was the Bible study, you know, and it was the Bible study, and, oh, she's gonna wanna come to the Bible study. And so the baptism thing, you know, we all get baptized when you're young. Yeah. And then.

[John Crist]

But then infant baptism.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

So that you were that guy's service hours.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You're like, wait, I'm the service hours? He's like, yeah, there's the service hours. I'm going to. I'm going to dinner with Heather.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

For the service hours.

[Heather McDonald]

My son said when he was at asu, these guys called and was. It was like, hey, do you want to play whatever flag football or something?

[John Crist]

Arizona State. Yeah, I know who this is.

[Heather McDonald]

So then he was like, yeah, like he was excited that people were like

[John Crist]

the bait and switch.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And then eventually it was like, hey, we're all going to go to the Bible study after. Why don't you come? And he was like, no. He's like, I went through Catholic school. Like, I don't need to now go to a Bible study while I'm in college.

[John Crist]

Like, now that. Oh, I thought we were buds.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, he would kind of.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

It's just, it's like, it's up there with like joining an mlm. Like the lady being like, hey, girl.

[John Crist]

Or the guy bringing you. Bring me the tapes. Yeah, like, oh, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I said. I've always said this about, about this whole, like the, like everything in the podcast. Everything in this podcast, it's comes down to gold, glory or girls, the three motivations for any kind of anything.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, interesting.

[John Crist]

Gold, glory or girls meaning money, women, or power.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, why did they, you know, every. You do break down everything and you go. It's. It's one of those three.

[Heather McDonald]

Interesting.

[John Crist]

It'll always be one of those three at the end of the day for

[Heather McDonald]

men, I guess because I'm not doing it.

[John Crist]

Yeah, well, yeah, I guess I. Yeah, yeah. But it's always. Why are they at the very end? Oh, well, they want to get. Be tagged on Instagram so they can. Oh, so it's a.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

It's always one of those three. Which has been around since the dawn of time.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, definitely. And it's even in this business when, you know, I've been on the receiving end of thinking that this person was my friend that I brought on the road and helped and did all things with and tagged them a million times and. And then they were, they were becoming resentful behind my back. It wasn't enough crazy. It wasn't enough crazy. And I was like, oh my God, like, why wouldn't you just tell me it wasn't enough? Or, you know, or, you know, why did you. Why did you have to do this deceptive, mean thing that like me up. Because, like, I'm very fortunate that I've been married for 25 years and we've never had a cheating on each other. But when, when it happened with friends, it's really you're like, oh, my God. Like the two of you were like going around the corner, like, what?

[John Crist]

Against me? Yeah. Like, I was just like, this is,

[Heather McDonald]

this is what it must feel like when someone like has the hairs in the back of their neck and they're suspicious of their man or their dog or their girlfriend, and then they find it later and they're like, I wasn't crazy.

[John Crist]

Oh, you know what I mean? Like, I wasn't in. I was in rehab in 20 for alcohol. And they, they. There's. It was all men in there. And they said, you know, everybody's at different stages of their marriage. And he said, the women every, you know, you're in there for four weeks and then your wife's going to come and you have like, kind of like a heart to heart or. And he said, you know, all the women were so relieved because they were like, okay, thank God. I thought I was going crazy. Like, you'd be like. They would tell stories. Like, I, I come home in the guest room and I find a condom in the guest room. And he was like, the husband is like, the landscaper must have come in. And you're like, okay. You don't. You go, okay, yeah. And then, and then you finally, you finally realize this guy is cheating or is it? And you go, yeah, thank God. Yeah. Because I thought I was going insane.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

And you're finally, like, when you finally learn.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, it's very. It's gonna be a disaster to kind of work through it. But at least they're like, shoot. At least. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Gaslighting of just like. Yeah. Like. Oh, that. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very helpful. They said it was all very helpful. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

So in your church, do people get baptized? Like where they wear the outfits and go in a pool and stuff?

[John Crist]

That's a wild way to ask that question. Yeah. Well, they just wear your regular clothes. Oh, you just wear. Hopefully dark, though. You don't wear something white. But we got baptisms at our church coming up on a wet T shirt.

[Heather McDonald]

No, I thought they weren't supposed to wear like white flowy.

[John Crist]

Oh, that's in like a different denomination where they have. They put on a robe and then they full immersion into the water.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

We don't. Yeah, we do. Like, we do like, very. Like you do it in a horse trough at a barn or in a river. Somebody's.

[Heather McDonald]

But I mean, essentially people could be baptized like 10 times.

[John Crist]

It's all very.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, you'd be baptizing a million different times in Church. Church. Or say I need to be rebaptized.

[John Crist]

Baptism is only once you get your one, you got. Yeah. And you're good to go.

[Heather McDonald]

It's like a punch card of all the. Of all the.

[John Crist]

You know, say it like that.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, I'm just saying you get your check.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Yeah. You have to be baptized.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. You have to be baptized. And then confirmation is kind of like.

[John Crist]

That's like getting saved.

[Heather McDonald]

No. So it goes. It goes baptism, then confession.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Then confirmation, which is sort of. You can decide it. Like, it just basically saying, I confirm now that I'm a young teenager that I want.

[John Crist]

You're old enough.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Then it's. Then it's like marriage.

[John Crist]

Baptism was non consensual.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Then it's like. Yeah. And then Val. Like, if you're going to become like a priest or a nun or whatever. And then that's the thing. So. And then last rites.

[John Crist]

Well, my, my. That's when you die.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. And that's only if you have the option to, like, call the priest.

[John Crist]

My friend is getting married to a Catholic guy and she converted.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

At like, 25.

[Heather McDonald]

Cool.

[John Crist]

So how does that work? She got to go through a class or something.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, she goes through.

[John Crist]

If I wanted to become Catholic today, what would I do?

[Heather McDonald]

You'd go through, like, a class. It'd probably be like Tuesday and Wednesday nights or something. Whatever. Like, during the week. I think they can do it. I mean, who knows now if there's like an online element, but, like, definitely

[John Crist]

the church online degree.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And I. I think it's really beautiful when, like, an adult decides to do that. Like, I think it's. So my husband had some familiarity with Catholicism. Cause he had, like, a grandmother who was. But he wasn't raised and he didn't go to school. And then. Not until we were getting married. Yeah. But once we were getting married, when they said the Our Father, I couldn't believe he knew it. I was like, how do you know this? Like, how do you. And he just, like, came back to him from, like, the grandma. But no, just one of you has to be Catholic, and the other one has to say, if we have kids, we will raise them Catholic. So you don't have to convert if you don't want to. You just have to say, I'm on the team. Yes. So my sister married a Jewish man, Goldstein. And he just said, the kids can be raised Catholic. And they were. And that's.

[John Crist]

That's it. Yeah. So he didn't convert.

[Heather McDonald]

He never converted. He never converted. He could have, but he never did. And it was fine. And it was fine. I mean, I do think it's nice if you both are, like, into it, but as long as someone's not, like, making you not go or something. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah. And they're not, like, fighting about the. You know, so this is it.

[John Crist]

Marriage. I'm. I'm. I'm getting married in October.

[Heather McDonald]

How'd you meet your fiance?

[John Crist]

On Instagram.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh. I mean, she slid in or you slid in?

[John Crist]

I made a. I made. It could have been me. I'm for years in. Yeah. I made a. I made a spoof video about the news.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

Making fun of the news. About how news anchors, like, in the snow.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

They're like, why am I out here? You could see it snowing. Why do I need to be.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It was a fake. Back in 20. I don't know, 6, 20, 20 or something like that. And she does that for a living. She's a news anchor. She works for NBC. And somebody sent her my video. They're like, look at this guy making fun of news anchors. And somebody sent me a video of her doing it sincerely. And I thought she was cute, and I slid into her dm.

[Heather McDonald]

See, I feel that's very, like, the universe working in God in your favor. Like, that's just kind of.

[John Crist]

And I was in rehab. This is what's wild about my whole story, that I was in, like, burned my life to the ground. I was in rehab, and I. There was no. They would, like, let us watch TV on, like, the weekends for, like, a three hours. And so that would be. We were watching the local news because there was no Netflix or there was nothing.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And I was watching that. We watched the local news, and I saw a news anchor, like, doing that, and I was like, when I get out of rehab, I'm gonna make a joke about that. If you do. If you don't believe in God.

[Heather McDonald]

I believe. I mean, I love all that stuff.

[John Crist]

I can't.

[Heather McDonald]

And as I get older, I feel like it's. I don't know if it's just me. I don't know if the universe or my. Whatever. But it happens so much more now. Like, I'll literally think of somebody that I hadn't talked to in a while, and I'll get a text from them within an hour. Like, within an hour. And I'm just like, what is that? There's just so many things. And, like, my parents are both passed, so there'll be little things. Like, I'll tell a story about my dad with a bunch of girlfriends, and we're about to go to the spa, and then they're like, heather, you know, it's your turn. You go to the spa. Here's the key to your locker. And my dad's sports number was 34. And it's 34.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, just. Just, like.

[John Crist]

Just like.

[Heather McDonald]

Like, just all those kind of, like, signs. And I'm. I just think it's amazing. And then. And throughout life of, like, knowing, like, whether you work, like, manifestation or whatever. Even if you're not, like, really working it, though, you'll look back and you're like, I thought of that, or, I saw that, or I said, one day, that'll be me. And now it's me. And, like, I love all that. I think it's so powerful.

[John Crist]

Yeah, I do. And you look at the dark and you look at the universe and you go, my word. Yeah, it's so. You just go, I'm not sure. They wear weird hats. And the thing with the chanting. I'm not sure about all that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, but

[John Crist]

there's got to be something. Yeah, I think that's the start of it.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Or my. Or my. I had a loved one pass away or have a. Or a child being born.

[Heather McDonald]

You're like, do you think you've ever missed out on opportunities in the business because they are prejudiced about the fact that you are someone of faith?

[John Crist]

It's. I don't know if this is a. I just think it's a crutch to people to blame stuff. It's like, a lot of times people are like, oh, it's because I'm Democrat that the Republican. I go, it's not good enough.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You know, like, oh, it's because I'm Christian that I go, it's not that good. Also, oh, it's because I'm a lesbian or it's because I'm black. I go, people don't. They want to make money.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

They don't care about if someone's anything.

[Heather McDonald]

And I always say, there's so many entities. Can you be blackballed for one particular show because someone hates you? And is the person who's the talent booker? Yes, sure. Yes. But there's other shows you could get on, too. So it's like, yes, sometimes that'll happen, and you'll never know why.

[John Crist]

And it's not with the victim.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Like, you'll never know why.

[John Crist]

It's a nice. There's a comic in. In our scene that is one is A female. She's like, it's because I'm female. I go, the GM of the club is a female. They are. And it's. Or it's because I'm black. I go, I assure you, it is not right.

[Heather McDonald]

And, I mean, it's never been a better time to not be a white, straight male. And in my day, like, yes, there would be 10 people on the bill at, like, the LA Improv, and it would be eight straight guys, one black guy, one woman. And unless we want. If we wanted more than one woman, we would put our own show together. And.

[John Crist]

But that's not even that long. I feel like it all.

[Heather McDonald]

But it all did work out. And. And. But it was also like, you know, there was TV shows, you know, so you always were, like, trying to get a sitcom right. There wasn't podcasts and Instagram and reels. And I realized, like, the executives that were choosing would be a certain type of guy, and then they would really. They'd see everybody perform, and they would gravitate towards the guy that lived their childhood. So they'd be like, that's the funniest guy. Because comedy is subjective, and you relate to who you relate to. So my stuff about being Catholic and sorority girl and valley girl, there was no executives that were like, oh, my God, I grew up in Woodland Hills and went to usc, and I know exactly who this chick is.

[John Crist]

Now. You see, now there's.

[Heather McDonald]

There's such a variety, and there's such a way to find your own audience without the gatekeeping of only having television stations. So that's what I think is so great about today.

[John Crist]

If you go to Zany's, like, I live right next to Zany's in Nashville. There's. There's two rooms now. There's probably five shows a day. There's probably 20 plus shows a week. And it's like, when I was coming up, you would just go to the comedy club. You wouldn't look. There was no YouTube. There was no. You wouldn't look. It had to be Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno for everyone. It had to be for everyone. Now there's like, black Jewish, gay comic. And if you don't get it, you're like, I don't know this guy's podcast. I have no idea who this is. And the lines wrapped around the block twice.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Great for that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Because he found they.

[John Crist]

There's a comic that's from Wisconsin, and he just does Wisconsin.

[Heather McDonald]

Great.

[John Crist]

And everybody that, like, used to live in Wisconsin are like, we love this.

[Heather McDonald]

That's what I think is so great. Because there was exactly what I'm saying.

[John Crist]

It was like, there's no excuse now.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Like, you know, and it's so. I think that's really great going back because you brought it up and that you went through this hard time. I wasn't gonna bring it up, but since you brought it up, I wanna say I really think it's great how you dealt with that and you took that chunk of time. I think if more people that fall into a hard moment just put their phone down, maybe don't perform for six months and just take that time. I don't think enough people take the time that's necessary. And then when you come back, you can come back. You can come back and be stronger than ever. But I think so many times people are like, you know, and that must have been, like, shocking to have to turn stuff down and cancel your tour and put your book on hold and all of that.

[John Crist]

Oh, you did do some research.

[Heather McDonald]

But I do think. Well, I remember when it was happening too, and I remember thinking that you were handling it right. And I think in this day and age, like. Like, that's a lesson to learn. Like, it doesn't mean it's over. It just means, like, take a breath. I mean, you know, and just like, get. Get good, you know, or.

[John Crist]

Yeah, if. Well, first of all, the only reason we probably talking about this is because you did go around my publicist that you did DM me directly. Like, if you would have talked to them, they would.

[Heather McDonald]

Anything, listen, anything you want.

[John Crist]

So funny, dude.

[Heather McDonald]

If you want something cut out. This is not lie.

[John Crist]

I like to talk about it. They don't want me to talk about. I like to talk about all the time. Yeah, I think it's part of my story. It's. It's. It's awesome. We. It was 2019, and I had a Netflix special coming out the in that fall, and I was like, on the Tonight show and I had a book deal and I was, like, performing in churches, but I was also, like, getting drunk, like, and, like, doing all kind of behavior that was not. You can't do that. It's like, it's kind of like if you remove the part of the religion that is tough is the shame involved in it. But if it's kind of like, well, these are the rules. You can't wear jeans on Friday. I wore jeans on Friday and I got fired.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, from doing the church case.

[John Crist]

Yeah. But they're like, you can't. You can't There's a kind of a unspoken rule that if you're performing in church that you probably are behaving as a Christian.

[Heather McDonald]

Got it.

[John Crist]

And I wasn't.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, okay.

[John Crist]

So that all kind. There was whispers on Twitter and that stuff kind of came out, but it was also like, every. All of my comedian buddies were like, they would read that article about me. They're like, this sounds like a regular Tuesday.

[Heather McDonald]

So when I read it, you know, and it was just that, like, you're flirting with women that might have. Might be married or something, and they were flirting with you. I mean, in the scheme.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah. That's what everybody said.

[Heather McDonald]

That's what everybody said from Woody Allen to Louis CK to. Who was the other a Aziz.

[John Crist]

A.

[Heather McDonald]

Who just kind of had what I would refer to as bad bedside manner.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Act like you're a little more into her. When you're calling the Uber, just act a little more into her.

[John Crist]

She's going to get her feelings hurt by that.

[Heather McDonald]

But, like. Yeah, and then it was like, yeah, you.

[John Crist]

I was pretty down. Pretty far down on the list.

[Heather McDonald]

You. You.

[John Crist]

Yes, But. But.

[Heather McDonald]

But that's what was so honestly, like, noble about it. Like, that you were like, no, this was wrong, and I am this person, and that is why it's wrong. And that's why I'm going to go make myself right. And you proactively ended this stuff for yourself.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Which is, like, amazing, I would probably say. I look back on that. So it was a lot of. It was. It was 2019, which is a very. In terms of. Remember, people were like, just that. Executives were like, I slept with a girl in college. I'm quitting. Like, people were, like, proactively quitting their jobs. Remember that?

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

It was so scary. It was so in, like, the Harvey wine. It was so scary.

[Heather McDonald]

17 to, like, 21 was terrifying. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Yeah. And then it was a lot of, like, it was so with the religion aspect of it. It, like, adds us. Adds a whole nother level of, like, I don't know. I guess I was. I was so scared. Looking back on it, maybe I should have been like, yeah, I'm not perfect. And I could have just gone touring. But again, I got sober because of that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. So it was like every. Everything falls in the way it's supposed to, which is also like that.

[John Crist]

And I'm getting married in October. Like, I thought the way I was going would have no shot to be in a healthy relationship or marriage. I hate to say that. Cancellation 100%. Does that make sense?

[Heather McDonald]

No.

[John Crist]

It's kind of good to save my life. It did save my life, and I hate to say that, because I don't want people to be calling people out publicly. I don't think that's the way forward.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, I remember reading your thing, and I was like, wow, this is like. It's not like you actually were a

[John Crist]

pastor of a church. Yeah. Yeah. With a wife and three kids and

[Heather McDonald]

banishing people that, you know, it was just that you were part of that world. And I thought, wow, that is real. That shows that he actually does walk the walk because he, like, wants to do better.

[John Crist]

That's wild to hear that from you.

[Heather McDonald]

You.

[John Crist]

Because I wouldn't cry. No, I did. I. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't think that. It's just wild to hear. I. I mean, I was. Yeah, it was a. It was a very.

[Heather McDonald]

I'm like, sorry, I'm not a normal.

[John Crist]

No, it's coming in.

[Heather McDonald]

Podcaster. I actually, like, talk about shit like this. So this is probably, like, not what you were expecting today, but it was

[John Crist]

so, like, a lot of people like you or, like, reached out to me. I was getting crushed on the Internet, obviously, on Twitter, but there was so many people that were like, that's probably how you heard of me.

[Heather McDonald]

No, I had knew about you before because I'd seen your stuff, and I thought it was really funny, and I loved the pastor and the jet. The pastor that has a jet, all that kind of stuff. So I thought it was really funny. And then I just was, like, like reading it, and I kept trying to find, like, the bad part of it.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of reading for some key words.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, I was like, what is gonna happen? And then I was like, oh, my God. Like, and so then to see. Then you, like, come back and find you and you're doing your funny stuff again. And I just thought, this is what it's supposed to be. Like, this is what it's supposed to be. Your life shouldn't be. And entertainment should be this, you know, providing, you know, you're not, you know, violating women, children, men, and, you know, murdering people. But, like, things that I'm just like, wow. Like, that was so. Just important to see. And when you think about your life now and how you found the love of your life and every. I just think it's, like, such a beautiful story because it's true. It's like, it's very much. You know, I believe in, like, everything happens for a reason, and I believe in life's rejection as God's protection. And sometimes you don't realize it. And you. You spend three years laying in bed going, I regret this, I regret this, I regret this. And then all of a sudden you're like, well, on the small level, if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have had this hilarious bit. If I didn't do this, I wouldn't have ended up here. I wouldn't have met her. And then you're like, oh, my God, I wouldn't. I mean, even for me, with this podcast, I had career things that I regretted, like, for a long time. And then one day I woke up and I'm like, the show wouldn't be here if I hadn't fucked up over here and then missed a bunch of opportunities because of this fuck up. And I could only work on this. And now, thank God I have this and I have no envy to be over here.

[John Crist]

That's what I said at the beginning.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And if you didn't have this pot, like, imagine going into those, like, audition rooms with like, yeah. And you can say whatever you want and have whatever conversations you want. You go, oh, thank God. Like, I can. Anybody can go back and if they don't know the article that I. That you can go back and look at it. I got no shame about it. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't hold any kind of shame for me. And I've. I'm a. It's. It's just wild. It's truly wild. Because if people don't believe in God or like, that there is some kind of plan for you. I remember being so mad at God, like a journal, that all we had was, like, journals. And it would just write, this is a. This is a horrible plan. But then you come kind of come through it. What's truly wild is it was fall of 2019. So I had a music manager. He was not a comedian manager. I was about to release the Netflix special and then go on a stadium tour. Not a stadium tour, sorry. An arena tour. My God, I had no material because I'd work in for 10 years for my first Netflix special. And he didn't know that. You got to kind of go, yeah,

[Heather McDonald]

you can't just do the exact Netflix special that everybody just saw.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Because in music, you do. You do the album and then you go tour it. And then I was like, oh, my

[Heather McDonald]

God, what a panic.

[John Crist]

And then it got canceled and then Covid happened, so everything got canceled.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. It was kind of perfect. Yeah. Too.

[John Crist]

I come out and now I have, like, I. We Have a new show that we're working on that we have been more successful by far than we ever would. That. That could have. That arena tour could have been the end, Right?

[Heather McDonald]

Because you could have bombed or disappointed or gotten better.

[John Crist]

No material. So you go, yeah. Even if you're, like, an atheist or you're. You go, hey, that's fine. I'm not going to try to press it on you. But there's some things that happen in life that are too. Like.

[Heather McDonald]

Like what?

[John Crist]

Yeah, that is just it. Yeah. Amazing that it's too much to. I mean, when you're in treatment. I never. I was so. Everybody was so sad. That's like the best comedy came from.

[Heather McDonald]

So sad. Like your team, you mean, and your family or what?

[John Crist]

No, the. Everybody just wanted me to get help. The people in there, because everybody burned their lives to the ground, right? And I remember one guy goes, my buddy Warren. We were all in there together. He had blown his life up. We'd all blown our lives up. And he, you know, I was starting to kind of feel better, start to get a little like, oh, maybe I could. I don't know about ever do comedy again, but I'll be able to go to the golf course. And I was like, am I getting sued? Do I have any money? And they were like, yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but you're going to be fine. And I start to kind of have some pep in my step, you know? And he puts his arm around me one day. We're on a walk, we're on a hike. And he goes, hey, it looks like you're doing a lot better here, and you make a lot of progress. I just want to let you know, don't take suicide off the table just yet. We die. We. So, like, humor was so. That's the most morbid thing I've ever heard. But we've died. Like, it was so. The comedy was so fresh and so painful, the world was so painful that it was like comedy. I fell in love with comedy all over again. And all the things that happened in the world, by the way, since then, you're like.

[Heather McDonald]

And you have to be in a mindset to, like, be creative. You can still kind of chug along. But then when you're, like, in a great mental state, because it's like, you have to go on stage, whether, you know something horrible just happened or you got a text or something, you gotta go on. You gotta be like, hello, yeah, Introduce you and get in the moment and still enjoy talking to the people and Telling the stories and all that. You can't just, like, blow it off because you need a mental health day. It's like, not. You can't do it.

[John Crist]

And I'm sure people message you all the time just because of how big this podcast is for, like, hey, I've been going through a tough time in my life, and your pod is. It provides me an escape, or I feel like I'm part of this community, or I feel like you are, like, doing and you could hear directly from those people.

[Heather McDonald]

I mean, I love it. And I still have that, like, you know, guilt where, like, on occasion there was, like, a mistake, where, like, I had someone working for me, they put up the wrong podcast. Like, they put Tuesday's podcast again on Thursdays.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And of course, it goes up at like, 1:00am you know, or midnight on the east coast. So that. So I wake up on the west coast to, like, all these messages of just people like, hi. You know, And I literally thought about the people that mentally really depend on waking up on their commute, whatever, and it wasn't what they want. And I was just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm not. Because I've been so consistent that they, like, depend on it so much. And it's like, because of. They're so great.

[John Crist]

You know, it's not. By the way, no one's saying that to the lady that's in the Febreze commercial.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Or whatever. Whatever Anyone else is doing. Not that other people's work doesn't matter, but, like, if you have. Have. If I believe truly, if you do have that ability, like, every time people are. Are sad, they go to art.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

They don't go. They go to art, they go to music, they go to podcasts, they go to comedy. They go to something to. If you truly have that ability, I believe, to give that gift to other people. Like, who's your favorite? My, like, Chris Martin from Coldplay. Or, like, gosh, dude, what if he never did it? Yeah, what if he never. Who are you to that. I believe God gives people these talents. And who are you to not share it?

[Heather McDonald]

Well, like, I didn't. I wasn't pursuing it at first. I thought, I'll be like a businesswoman. Then I was like, well, I mean, I just was like, I knew how hard it was to make it in acting growing up here and stuff, but I knew I had this, like, comedy gift that, like, I could imitate and do impressions. And I just remember I kind of came to the conclusion that like if I don't pursue this gift that not everybody has, like I always tell people, find the thing that you're good at that like not everybody else can do. There's a lot of things I cannot do that I have friends that are very good at. And I'm like, please pursue interior design. Please pursue like your co creating.

[John Crist]

I'm so good at it.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, like you're so not me, you know, and so I'm like. I was like, it is like a f you to God if you don't use the gift that you know, was blessed upon you that not everybody can do. And like, it could be amazing. And the other thing which I've told the story on this show to so many times, but I'm just gonna say quickly. When I was like 10, I was watching like a call in show and it was someone called in and Eddie Murphy was a guest and this woman said, I knew if I ever had a chance to talk to you, I have to tell you this. So many years ago my son died. It was like a young child and it was the worst day of my life. And I said, I will never laugh again. And that night I turned on SNL and you were Gumby and I laughed again. And I remember at 10 going, that's what I wanna do. That's what I want to do. I'm like, if I could do, if I could make someone laugh on their hardest day and be an escape, I just want to be an escape for an hour, hour and a half, whatever it is. And I'm like, I think when your intentions are pure like that, then the success will come. Some will be making $100 million and some will just be very happy in their house, but they still get to be creative. But if you do it for the

[John Crist]

right reasons and it doesn't, if you are like, look at everything. Whoever put this together is, I believe, doing God's work. I mean, these people are evil, obviously, but.

[Heather McDonald]

No, but I love somebody cared.

[John Crist]

He wasn't like the. The person who grew these beans all the way in, wherever they come from. That guy wakes up with the same intention that we do. Yeah, that care. He does it like, I hope I make money. I hope I. But I was born to figure out how the best way to plant these beans and to grow them. And he sees everybody here commercially enjoying what the God gave him, the ability to do that. Yeah, I think that's everything on that camera. I think that's the road that you drove on over here. The guy was like, I'm obsessed with this mixture of cement and asphalt that I could put together. So if people can drive on these roads, Christianity aside, I feel like more people listening to this podcast can get about the business of. Of doing the reason why God put them on this planet.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, before we end, I want to say I love.

[John Crist]

Ask everybody to get saved Now. I feel like that was too much.

[Heather McDonald]

I don't care.

[John Crist]

It was too much. It was too much.

[Heather McDonald]

The other thing that's happened in the last few years for me positively, is that I was way more conscious about saying the wrong thing and being caught saying the wrong thing and all that. And I do feel like now I'm like, fuck it. You know what I mean? Go listen to someone else then. Like, I'm sorry, this is me. You may not like every episode. You may not like every guest. I'm gonna be me. You choosing to unsubscribe. I'm not gonna lose my home. Like, I'm not. It's not gonna change my lifestyle. My dad always used to say that too. If I lose this client, it's not gonna change my lifestyle. If I don't do this gig, it's okay. So, like, you know, at this point, I do think, thank God the pendulum's swinging where people are a little bit able to breathe.

[John Crist]

But not if you're on the networks.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

Like, if you got a reoccurring on a network sitcom and you put out a tweet, they will write you out of that show.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. Because the morality clause of the contracts and things like that, they could say that.

[John Crist]

Actually, I know a person that it has happened to this year.

[Heather McDonald]

They were cast at a show.

[John Crist]

They were in a show, and they were. An article came out about them that they. That the network did not like, and they wrote them out of the show.

[Heather McDonald]

And it was just Politically Incorrect.

[John Crist]

Yes.

[Heather McDonald]

Not hateful.

[John Crist]

No, I wasn't. It just was not on the side that they were.

[Heather McDonald]

Got it.

[John Crist]

And they go, well, but now, like, you look at Rogan, you look at. What's the guy that you. I'm sure you talked about it. That was. He was locking the doors from the inside, and he was hooking up with all the girls at the morning show. The scene.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, Matt Lauer.

[John Crist]

Yeah. Yeah, you're done.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Because you're with cbs.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

And now he didn't. He never had his own audience. Like, Rogan has his own.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

So you can't.

[Heather McDonald]

Right. It's amazing. It's the greatest.

[John Crist]

It truly. And all the complaints that we all in the 80s and 90s and early 2000s, you're like, well, we made our own show.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. So I want to talk about this show. I love this. It's filmed like the Office or Parks and Rec. And tell me a little bit how you thought of it and how you executed it and everything.

[John Crist]

Well, well, it's called Springfield First. So it's. It's basically, I'm. My father in law has passed down the church to me, so I'm this young, you know, trendy kind of pastor, which. And it's always. If you have a church of 5,000 people, there are very human scenarios that are going on.

[Heather McDonald]

Trauma.

[John Crist]

Yeah, yeah. There has to be. My dad was a pastor, and I've worked at churches, so I know how it goes. I know all this. They're like. Like, this guy's nuts in the church, but he tithes a lot of money. So that means.

[Heather McDonald]

Gives a lot of money.

[John Crist]

Yeah, that means he gives a lot of money. So let's hear him out.

[Heather McDonald]

Right.

[John Crist]

Or there's a lot of human things going on at a church. Yeah, it's Catholic church, too, that you go.

[Heather McDonald]

But they. The thing about the Catholic Church, like I said, like, if I don't. If I didn't go, like, they're not calling me up and being like, where are you? They're not knocking on the door. That's the thing where I'm like, I wish the Catholics would take some Merck and classes.

[John Crist]

There seems to be a middle between the evangelicals and the Catholics. Like, Catholics don't care if you're there.

[Heather McDonald]

No, they don't care. You're not special.

[John Crist]

You're not special.

[Heather McDonald]

You know, it's like, you know, whatever.

[John Crist]

Evangelical, everybody's too special.

[Heather McDonald]

And if you do a lot, you still can't reserve a seat on Christmas Eve. You could give $100,000. You could be singing in the park.

[John Crist]

That's why people like Catholicism.

[Heather McDonald]

And if you can't find a parking spot, you're screwed. You're standing in the back and your heels in the cold old. Gosh, you can't buy a seat.

[John Crist]

And in. In this evangelical scenario like that, one of the is we have a Greek team. Like, every evangelical church would have a great team. Meaning greeting. You walk in, there's a. Yeah. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. And we did, like, a review of the headshots of, like, we gotta. It's Easter. We gotta get the hottest readers.

[Heather McDonald]

I love it.

[John Crist]

Everybody in the DMs, by the way, is like, this is my church. Like, this yes.

[Heather McDonald]

Happens. Like, I mean, this is also sorority life of like. Yeah. It's like putting the cutest girls in front to do the sexy dance, you know?

[John Crist]

And, like. But think about that conversation.

[Heather McDonald]

Yes.

[John Crist]

You're like, but it's God, too. How much is she weigh? Or like, well, she's a little bit hotter. She get more likes on her Instagram. Let's put her up front.

[Heather McDonald]

It's like we would be sitting back from communion, and my mom would be like, my mom, who is a good woman. Michelle.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

She'd be watching. She'd be like, what happened to the o' Malley girl? Well, they sent her off to the Midwest. And I mean, talk about the freshman 15. I think it's a freshman 15. My gosh. I could barely walk by, and I'm like, mom, we are in church. Like, you literally just got the body of Christ. I'm like, you are so. But we would still go to church every Sunday, and we would be, like, literally judging people's outfits. And I'm like, what?

[John Crist]

Of course.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay, so when you thought. Now, I'm guessing, in your career, as you're rising up, many people, network people came to you saying you should have a sitcom.

[John Crist]

Sure, sure.

[Heather McDonald]

And this is what it should.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Was this ever one of the ideas you had back when. Before you decided to do it yourself?

[John Crist]

That's a thousand people. I've pitched this to a thousand people and did.

[Heather McDonald]

How far did it go?

[John Crist]

They shut it down every time.

[Heather McDonald]

Did you ever get to the point where you wrote the pilot but not. Not acted out?

[John Crist]

Yeah, we wrote and filmed a pilot.

[Heather McDonald]

At which network?

[John Crist]

No, we pitched it to everybody. Espn. Not espn. Netflix, cbs, Amazon prime, all the. All of them.

[Heather McDonald]

But it never got. Got to the point. And so then you're. So then what made you go. Actually, I'm at a point where I'd like to finance it myself and film it myself. And how does that work?

[John Crist]

It's really not. I mean, just between us. Well, it's not in between us, I guess, but it's just a. It's a. We work.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, you went to a wework.

[John Crist]

That's what that office is.

[Heather McDonald]

That's the set.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Crist]

It's an office. I mean, the outside of the church is AI.

[Heather McDonald]

Right, Right.

[John Crist]

Yeah. So that's like. It's that. And we have a camera. We have all the stuff we have.

[Heather McDonald]

And how long are each of the things?

[John Crist]

Couple minutes.

[Heather McDonald]

Okay.

[John Crist]

Fans. Could be two, could be five. Just a simple scenario.

[Heather McDonald]

And where. I know it's on your instagram but do they. Is it also on YouTube where you can watch it all at once?

[John Crist]

Yeah. No, it's not. They're. They just release daily or release twice a week. Yeah. Springfield first is what the. It's like.

[Heather McDonald]

And then. Did you finance it all yourself or you got investors?

[John Crist]

I just financed it myself because.

[Heather McDonald]

And has anyone now come and said,

[John Crist]

we think this would be a bigger shot. Everybody. And I got to pitch this deal, like, for years. I wish.

[Heather McDonald]

But sometimes people are ahead of their time. Sometimes. Sometimes you're just ahead of your time.

[John Crist]

Same with you.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

That. You go, God, I'm so glad they didn't. They turned it down.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Because now, like, we did a. We had a joke in that somebody getting towed from the. Okay.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, I loved that.

[John Crist]

That was the no Kings rally.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And I go, are they. Which side of the no Kings were they on? And. But I go, people were getting towed from the church parking lot. And. But I go, I don't care if you're going to a Chris Tomlin. It's like a big Christian singer. Yeah. I don't care if you're going to a Chris Tomlin concert or a Klan rally.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

You can't park in our church parking lot. But look, that'll be cut. The network could have cut that.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And anything we're talking about here, the network goes, hey, we can't.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

So you go, all right, well, then

[Heather McDonald]

everybody's just doing it, watching it. I thought, oh, that's kind of even edgy that he's saying this.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

But I thought that was so true because I'm watching it. And it was really funny because it was like, we're not really sure if they're for the no Kings or they're going to protest the no Kings.

[John Crist]

It's all like.

[Heather McDonald]

But it was like. And it was so confusing, but, like, so funny. And then you're like, just tell them.

[John Crist]

Like, it takes, like a very, very. All the most touchy subjects.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

But doesn't take a side.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like the next. The next episode is somebody comes. You know like what a Bible study is. Yeah. They have like a group.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

There's like, the church has like a hundred of them. Yeah. If you join the church, you can choose which Bible study we're gonna do. The Book of Romans. We're a empty nesters. Bible study, college Bible study. So somebody comes and they say they want to have black Bible study.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

And you go, oh, man. Okay. Does like. We can't allow that. Obviously, the white people are gonna be upset. They're like, we don't have a white Bible study. We're like, we got a NASCAR pickleball Bible study. We're like, all right, we kinda do. And then I just. It's like, very. I go, well, they can't. What do they want to call it? They go, black Bible study. I go, can we switch it to, like, the Bible study cookout? Or. It's, like, insane. Like, it. But it doesn't say. It doesn't take a side, which is what's brilliant about it. But there's nobody in our ear to, like, tell us.

[Heather McDonald]

It was so funny. I. I was talking about this, like, scandal, this cheating scandal on, like, a reality show. And under the video, they said, well, you're missing the point about what Ciara said in the AA community. And I go, aa? I'm like, is she Alcoholics Anonymous? And they're like, no, it's African American. Now we know that Heather's so clueless. And I was like, well, I just see her as a beautiful girl. I go, I don't think he was dating her or not dating her because of the color skin. I think she was hot. And it didn't work out. I was like, what? I'm like, I only know AA as aa, Sorry. And they're like, yeah. The haters are like, we got her. Like, there's, like, one person in basement, like, just trying to see you slip up and you're like, I don't care anymore.

[John Crist]

Or like, you can't. You can't. Like, I have no boss. Yeah. For you to, like, you know, if a guy's, like, sending, like, inappropriate things, they can find his boss and then send it to him and then he gets fired.

[Heather McDonald]

Right?

[John Crist]

Like, well, we don't.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

But it's weird about being canceled also, too, that you go, well, he already. We already kind of tried to get him and he's here. Or he's like, I don't know. What do you want to. What do you want us to do?

[Heather McDonald]

I mean, that's the other thing is, once you go through that too, it's like, you know, you've already, you know, done this once to me, and if it show, and if the Lord shows it to me again, I will know how to react even better. So go ahead and try.

[John Crist]

It's not scary. I mean, it used to be so, like, when somebody first said something critical about you, it was so terrifying.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, yeah.

[John Crist]

Like, especially publicly. Yeah. They were like, Heather McDonald. And you go, oh, my.

[Heather McDonald]

You're like, that's not me.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And now I'm like. You're like, I'm not gonna waste my time defending.

[John Crist]

No.

[Heather McDonald]

Myself. Like, I know who I am and the people that listen and been. They go to my show. Like if I lose someone, whatever.

[John Crist]

It's such a beautiful time in Hollywood. Hollywood, Not Hollywood, but in like you can.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah.

[John Crist]

Go find. If you are obsessed with rock climbing in South Dakota, there's a. There's content for you.

[Heather McDonald]

I love it.

[John Crist]

There's an Instagram feed. There's probably a podcast. There you go. You don't have to watch what everyone else is watched. There's a. Between me and you and the pot, there's 10,000 tonight shows.

[Heather McDonald]

Right? Totally.

[John Crist]

And you can go watch the one you want.

[Heather McDonald]

The one that. Because people don't want the view. Well, they are. They all have one view. But I'm saying at one time there used to be. Let's have five people. People with different points of view.

[John Crist]

Actually, no, like, they're all being canceled.

[Heather McDonald]

I just want to hear. I just want to hear like someone that I jive with. And I might disagree with them, but I still know, like, deep down I like their personality and I like that. I think that they're a good person

[John Crist]

and whatever, you know, and you don't have to the. I want to HEAR what Heather McDonald has to say about the thing that happened over the weekend.

[Heather McDonald]

Right, Exactly. Well, this has been so fun. And I have your dates here. You have this huge tour. Oh, God, I did love the P. F. Changs.

[John Crist]

Oh yeah, right.

[Heather McDonald]

Go to his intro. Oh yeah. And I remember. I remember he does this really funny thing about PF Chang. And it was the fancier Chinese thing and there were cocktails and I remember I. The kids were little and we were not. We didn't have the iPads when my kids were little. So we would just not really bring them anywhere. And we would just.

[John Crist]

The kids are the iPads.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. We were like, you know, we're not gonna put em in a place where they misbehave. So one day I decided I looked cute. I came from an audition or something and I was like, can we go to PF Chang's? I think the boys can handle it, you know. And my little one. My little one was like, whatever, two and a half. And I thought he could handle it. Well, remember those big booths and whatever. He managed to climb over the booth, steal someone's like fortune cookie and run out past this. And I was like, like, yeah. And my husband's like, really? Was it. Was it worth it? To go to PF Chang today, I'm like, no, we gotta wait like another two years.

[John Crist]

We're not ready yet. We might be white trash.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, Yeah. I thought too nice of a place.

[John Crist]

Too nice. PF Changs was the suburbs of America was changed the game.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, what? I saw this. The horse. My God. So funny. But here are your dates. You're everywhere.

[John Crist]

Oh, dang.

[Heather McDonald]

And in right now, this weekend, you're out here and all. And then coming in May, you're in Texas, North Carolina.

[John Crist]

Oh, we going everywhere.

[Heather McDonald]

Florida.

[John Crist]

Where are your viewers at? In la.

[Heather McDonald]

Everywhere.

[John Crist]

They're everywhere.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, I mean, we're in the main.

[John Crist]

They're all these places.

[Heather McDonald]

My. My best, you know, city, states, whatever are la, San Diego, New York, Chicago, Florida, Texas.

[John Crist]

Beautiful.

[Heather McDonald]

Those are my Philly places like that, Washington, D.C. all that. And then I. And then Nashville too. I mean, obviously you're in the south, which is amazing.

[John Crist]

We popped down a pretty good bit.

[Heather McDonald]

So if you are not following you. I know that everyone should because it's such funny content. You're such a delight. Congrats on the indie season.

[John Crist]

Listen, maybe God. It was God's plan for me to not be on your shows so that we could have this so we could finally do the podcast. And you're welcome to come on ours anytime you come to Nashville. Come back to delete.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, I know I'm working on putting my fall and 27 together and I know we're definitely going to do a Nashville show. For sure.

[John Crist]

Nashville's popular.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. And I've performed there before. It's been a couple years, which is good too. Then a few years. People are real thirsty for it.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

And. And it's, you know, there's nothing cuter than Nashville.

[John Crist]

Yeah. True story. Yeah. You saw some white cowboy boots. You'll fit right in.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, I already have white cowboy. I will be bringing them.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Because I'm going to La Quinta this weekend. I have a house there. And you know, for Coachella and Stagecoach, I was like, I think I need to put the boots back in the house.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, he got to. Oh, you're going to Coachella? Yeah, yeah, he got to.

[Heather McDonald]

Well, I don't know if I'm gonna go. I'm hoping to go some parties and then, I mean, it's a pretty young vibe, so I kind of like to just enjoy and then go to like a party here and there and then maybe.

[John Crist]

You're not going to the party.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah, I'm not going for the three days like my 19 year old niece

[John Crist]

stay in a tent.

[Heather McDonald]

Yeah. No, I have a house.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, I know. We're not doing that. Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

Thank you so much. Honored to be here.

[John Crist]

Thank you.

[Heather McDonald]

Total delight. Thank you.

[John Crist]

Absolutely.

[Heather McDonald]

Your website to get the ticket. What's the best tickets? So they don't get.

[John Crist]

Oh, yeah, they always. Tickets are $600. I go, no, they're not.

[Heather McDonald]

You have to go to.

[John Crist]

What is your johnchrist comedy.com.

[Heather McDonald]

and that's C R I S T. Yeah.

[John Crist]

Like with Christ, but with no H. Exactly.

[Heather McDonald]

So easy. And it's J O n. J O, H N. Oh, you are J O

[John Crist]

H N. There's an H in, but not in there. It's not an H in the Christ. There's an H in the first, not the last.

[Heather McDonald]

So John is J O H, N. Yes. C R I S T. The H is gone in Christ.

[John Crist]

Yeah, There you go.

[Heather McDonald]

And the Instagram, it's John B. John B. Christ.

[John Crist]

You know, my middle name is. My middle name is Barack.

[Heather McDonald]

No way.

[John Crist]

Yeah. He's a character in the Bible. He's a name in the Bible.

[Heather McDonald]

Oh, interesting.

[John Crist]

Yeah, my parents are very Republican.

[Heather McDonald]

That's crazy. That's so cool.

[John Crist]

Yeah, they're like, you named after. I go, wow, I'm 40. I'm 42. I couldn't be named after Barack Obama.

[Heather McDonald]

That's amazing.

[John Crist]

Yeah.

[Heather McDonald]

So interesting. Thank you.

[John Crist]

Honored to be here.

[Heather McDonald]

Everybody go to heathermcdonald.net for all my stuff on my Patreon. Love you. Bye.

[John Crist]

You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your [e-mail] to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.