The Valley’s Cracks and Real Housewives’ Futures

Summary

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Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

Episode: "The Valley’s Cracks and Real Housewives’ Futures"

Date: May 26, 2026
Guests: Lori Alterman (fan or fanatic? podcast, Us Weekly reporter)

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Episode Overview

This lively episode finds Heather McDonald joined in studio by entertainment reporter and pop culture humorist Lori Alterman for a high-spirited deep dive into the current state of Bravo’s reality universe. With passionate and provocative takes on The Real Housewives franchises, “The Valley,” and more, Heather and Lori blend original insights, industry tidbits, and the irreverent humor Juicy Scoop is known for. They also share personal anecdotes and get candid about the real-life fallout of reality TV fame, while poking fun at themselves and the celebrities they discuss.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bravo's DJs, Thirst Traps & Authenticity

(00:23 – 07:03)

• Kyle Cooke’s DJ Career:

  • Lori confesses her crush on Kyle Cooke (“I’d rather be [here] except for next to Kyle Cook in a bed.” – Lori, 00:56).
  • Heather shares her experience partying with Kyle at Bravocon and Vegas (“I loved his DJ set... all the songs you love, it just flowed.” – Heather, 02:03).
  • Erika Jayne's blunt take on what it means to be a DJ gets admiration:

    “I play other people’s songs. I just go like this, move a couple fingers. I don’t need a bunch of dancers. I don’t need 12 outfits.”
    — Heather imitating Erika Jayne, (03:13)

• Reality TV Star “Skill Sets”:

  • Debate over the legitimacy of reality stars-turned-DJs (namely Meredith Marks vs. Kyle Cooke).
  • Lori critiques Meredith: “She’s an expert in caviar, bath bombs, LL Cool J… I don’t buy it. I find her personality annoying. I don’t think she takes accountability. I think she’s a whiner. I think she’s boring.” (06:38)
  • Heather defends Meredith, appreciating her “weird voice,” looks, and unique story.

2. Casting & the Value of “Villains”

(07:12 – 09:44)

• Both agree producers are doing something right when viewers care strongly, even if it’s negative, about cast members. “It’s better that you hate someone than to be indifferent when we’re talking about a reality show.” – Heather, 08:22
• The vital presence of divisive personalities on reality TV and the tension between personal dislike and good TV.

3. Marriage Meltdowns on Reality TV

(09:44 – 12:40)

• Bronwyn as the saga of a housewife “who married for money, was stuck with an asshole and found her way out.”
• Heather outlines the psychology of women consenting to film their bad marriages:
  1. “He’ll see how mean he is, watch it back and get nicer.”
  2. “He’ll appreciate me... I’ll make money... he’ll see everyone loves me.”

  “What does happen is this: He’s meaner on camera... then they become meaner to their wife because they’re even more resentful that she did this.” (12:01)

• Reality TV as a “divorce accelerator.”

4. Would-You-Rather: Reality TV Edition

(12:41 – 16:35)

• Heather and Lori joke about the things they might “expose” about their own husbands if cast (“The enormously loud sneezes.” – Heather, 13:12).
• Both agree being a full-time housewife doesn’t appeal to them, preferring a “Girls’ Trip” style show.

5. Kids on Reality Shows: The Fallout

(16:35 – 18:19)

• Discussion about the impact on children caught in the reality show crossfire (“But not on camera. And I wouldn’t want that to haunt them. I think it could really affect them.” – Heather, 18:08).
• The lasting embarrassment of childhood scenes, and how some “haunt” families even years later.

6. The Ultimate Girls’ Trip Concept

(18:36 – 24:44)

• The ideal trip reality show: cast with real, long-standing relationships—not random Bravocon acquaintances—so organic drama can unfold.
• Critique of Dorit’s chronic lateness and the “three types” of people regarding punctuality (25:12 – 27:37).

7. Finances, Brand Deals, and Divorce: The Dorit & PK Saga

(28:06 – 29:49)

• Unpacking the economics of the Real Housewives: salary estimates, the power (and limits) of Amazon Live, and speculation on the real source of Dorit's income.
• Candid thoughts on Dorit and PK’s impending divorce and the scrutiny of their finances.

8. Beef & Bonding: Lala, The Valley, and Vanderpump Spinoffs

(30:03 – 39:24)

• Lala Kent’s ongoing drama with Mauricio (and his strange DMs) (64:03 – 65:15).
• Heather recaps “The Valley” for first-time watcher Lori, going deep on Dani/Nia’s marital meltdown and Janet’s redemption arc.
• Honest critiquing of Kristen Doute (“I think she’s a whiner... dramatic, annoying, boring.” – Lori, 31:16) and nuanced defense of newer cast members.
• The challenge of “show-editing” vs “real life,” especially when it comes to sensitive topics like substance use and parenting.

9. Hot Takes on Multiple Franchises

(46:22 – 47:28)

• Lori unapologetically dismisses Real Housewives of New Jersey: “I don’t fuck with New Jersey. I don’t like the state, the fashion, their homes, the accent, the drama.” (46:25)
• Focus on aspirational vs. relatable: Lori wants glam (Beverly Hills) over family drama (Jersey).

10. Beverly Hills: Franchise Supreme

(48:03 – 56:32)

• Both agree RHOBH is their choice if only one Bravo show could survive; LA glam, real celebs, family legacies.
• Discussion of Erika Jayne’s book (lackluster) and what makes her so compelling (“She is the perfect reality star. Period Queen.” – Lori, 50:45).
• Heather reflects on what she’d really ask Erika (her relationship with her son).
• The enduring mystique of the Hiltons and questions on Kyle/Kathy tension over “American Woman.”

11. Personal Anecdotes, Crushes & What-Ifs

(67:06 – 83:03)

• Banter on who they’d kiss, marry, or avoid among Bravo talent:
  • “If I had to pick one woman on Bravo to kiss, I think I’d pick Ciara.” – Heather, 77:17
  • Both turn out to still be “Craig Conover fans,” despite him falling from fan-favorite grace.
• Funny stories about pretending to be heiresses as kids (McDonald’s, Saran Wrap), lying to impress classmates, and lessons learned.

12. Closing Thoughts: Why We Watch

(83:44 – 84:41)

• Both guests plug their projects; Lori’s “Juicy Scoopy” podcast, her social media, and her Us Weekly coverage.
• Discussion about trademarking “Juicy Scoop” and the joy Heather gets from seeing the term seep into popular language.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “She’s an expert in caviar, bath bombs, LL Cool J… I don’t buy it. I find her personality annoying. I don’t think she takes accountability. I think she’s a whiner. I think she’s boring.”
  — Lori on Meredith Marks (06:38)
• “It’s better that you hate someone than to be indifferent when we’re talking about a reality show.”
  — Heather (08:22)
• “What does happen is this: He’s meaner on camera... then they become meaner to their wife because they’re even more resentful that she did this.”
  — Heather, on why couples often divorce after doing reality TV (12:01)
• “I would like to expose my husband for the mumbler he is. He’s got marbles in his mouth... and his breathing’s heavy.”
  — Lori, on what she’d reveal about her husband if she went on Housewives (12:41)
• “Are we pitching right now?”
  — Lori (18:47) as the two riff their own Girls’ Trip show
• “I don’t fuck with New Jersey.”
  — Lori (46:25)
• “She is the perfect reality star. Period Queen.”
  — Lori, on Erika Jayne (50:45)
• “Heather, if a third grader can figure it out… it’s not a good lie.”
  — Lori, about her childhood attempt to fake being from the Saran Wrap family (80:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kyle Cooke’s DJ/Bravo hot takes: 00:23–07:03
• Casting, villains & value: 07:12–09:44
• Bronwyn & housewives divorces: 09:44–12:40
• Personal Would-You-Rather: 12:41–16:35
• Kids & family fallout: 16:35–18:19
• Girls’ Trip show concept: 18:36–24:44
• Punctuality/Dorit/PK finances: 25:12–29:49
• The Valley recap, Lala/Mauricio: 30:03–39:24; revisit at 64:03–65:15
• New Jersey hot take: 46:22–47:28
• Beverly Hills franchise debate: 48:03–56:32
• Personal crushes, reality TV secrets: 67:06–83:03
• Closing & social media plugs: 83:44–84:41

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Tone and Style

The conversation is unfiltered, sharp, and peppered with playful jabs—a blend of passionate pop culture dissecting and best-friend banter. Neither Heather nor Lori holds back, whether they're defending their favorite Bravolebrities or dismissing others outright. There’s a mix of industry-insider knowledge, personal confession, and the sense that both are fans first, journalists and critics second.

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Summary

For Bravo fans, this episode is a prime example of Juicy Scoop at its best: original, opinionated, and very, very juicy. It’s a whirlwind of bravolebrity gossip, sharp cultural insight, and moments of laugh-out-loud candor—served with the perfect side of shade. Whether you care about The Valley’s latest drama, Beverly Hills’ enduring glamor, or just enjoy behind-the-scenes anecdotes and hot takes, Heather and Lori deliver classic, addictive podcasting.

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Transcript

[A]

Has got the Juicy Scoop.

[B]

When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales For real life, Mr. Segment, serial data and cereal sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.

[A]

Listen in, listen up.

[B]

Whoop, whoop.

[A]

Hannah McDonald, Juicy School. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I am very excited for a first time Juicy Scooper, but I was a guest on her show and we just hit it off. Lori Alterman, hit podcast fan or fanatic? She is an entertainment reporter, very, very funny. Does a lot of comedic takes on reality TV and whatnot. Also does stuff for Us Weekly. Welcome. Thank you. I'm so excited you're in LA and you could make this fun show in person.

[B]

Heather, there's nowhere I'd rather be excited except for next to Kyle Cook in a bed.

[A]

Okay, let's talk about it.

[B]

Yeah, let's talk.

[A]

Let's get right into it.

[B]

Get into it.

[A]

I asked you, I said I just want to. We'll just do some hot takes, some unpopular opinions which you're not afraid to say. I love it in this world of pop culture and Bravo related things. Obviously summer house we've talked a lot about. And you think that Kyle Cook is extremely hot. You know I hung out with him.

[B]

Yes, I know at Bravocon where we missed each other. But I also hung out with him, but not the way you did. You had a real moment. You almost slept with him by watching his DJ set. And unlike Meredith Marks, he actually knows how to DJ and he's talented.

[A]

He's totally talented. We after my, I did a live show at the MGM and then we went to the nightclub and I had a whole setup that they were the casino and the people in Vegas were.

[B]

It's called vip, Heather. Lean into it.

[A]

Yes. This guy Andrew was wonderful to help set up. So we go with my friends and you know, Brandy, Julie who are part of the show and he is the dj. And I loved his DJ set because he does all the mixing but it's also all the songs you love. So it just flowed. And then I got to say hi to him and he was very lovely. And then later on a couple weeks later or a month later, out of the blue, he DMed me and he just said, I just want to thank you for all the nice thing, nice and supportive things you've said about my, about my DJing. And I'm like, you know, and I've said, I'm like, I'm so glad he got so much shit. And all these girls are like, anyways, becoming a DJ and a thirst trap. I'm like, thank God he did it. Good for him. He's good at it. He likes it. It's a great thing to do. Now all these other people realize, even Erika Jayne, I loved her honesty when she's like, he's like, how do you like being dj? Pretty much like, I love it. I play other people's songs. I just go like this, move a couple fingers. I don't need a bunch of dancers. I don't need 12 outfits exactly.

[B]

Can we take a minute for that? Spot on imitation. I wouldn't even say it was an imitation. I think you just channeled Queen Erica. That was fabulous.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

But I love that she's doing it. And she's right. It's. It's a good fun thing.

[B]

Why not do. Unless you're Meredith Marks, who I think sucks. And by the way, ain't the mama deaf in one ear? I mean, that's quite interesting of an occupation. I don't like Meredith Marks.

[A]

Well, I think. Okay, well, that's okay that you don't like her. But I'm saying, Of course a DJing thing can, I would think could easily be faked.

[B]

It could.

[A]

You put the whole 90.

[B]

Kyle Cook does.

[A]

You put the whole 90 set together. You put in the cassette tape. You push it.

[B]

Do they still spin records, Heather? Is that what they like?

[A]

I. I think they have their thing set up and what they do in the moment is like rise a beat here. Lower some.

[B]

Rise a beat.

[A]

And that's where you're really doing it. But also prior to the gig, they just like a comedian or musician is supposed to have put their set together. So we're going to start on this song. We're going to go to this one. But I'm saying, if you are just the face of something, why couldn't you hire somebody that could do it, put it all together for you and then act like you're doing this throughout the 90 minute set when it's really just. But we don't know. Maybe she really did take the DJ in class. We don't know.

[B]

So you're gonna tell me she's an expert? Why are you not a fan of hers? She's an expert in caviar. She's an expert in bath bombs. She's an expert in LL Cool J. I don't buy. Why am I not a fan of her? Because I find her personality annoying. I don't think she takes. I hate this word it's ever used, accountability. I think she's a whiner. I think she's boring. And if she's listening, I stand by it.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I don't like her.

[A]

So you wouldn't care if she didn't come back to Salt Lake?

[B]

I actually got some info that she wasn't, but I know they're filming now

[A]

and she's still there. Yeah, I've seen the photos. Where are they?

[B]

Well, they were in San Francisco doing some stuff.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But no, they are filming and she is part of the cast and I, you know what? I don't get much opportunity to Work with casting on these shows. Yeah. But I have a strong opinion on all of them. And I think Meredith Marks brings nothing to the franchise.

[A]

I totally disagree.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I think she's very fun to watch.

[B]

What?

[A]

I just like her weird kind of voice where she's like, you brutalize my family. Like, I kind of like it. I think she's really pretty.

[B]

She is.

[A]

I'm fascinated by her disease that makes her boobs grow enormous and she has to get a different boob job every year. I think that's sad, but. But crazy.

[B]

I think it's annoying and weird. It's funny because I love vanilla ice cream. And let's say you don't. You would have a strong case. I'm saying the thing that you find fascinating about Meredith makes me break out in hives. Who else do you love on there?

[A]

I mean, I'm pretty entertained by the whole.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

By the whole cast. I am definitely someone that I'm very careful about saying, I don't want this person back or anything like that because I do think it's a job. And I think they give so much of themselves and they are so repa replaceable. So I never want to have a clip or something where I'm like, get rid of so and so. You know, I. If I'm still watching the show, then the producers are doing something right. Even if you hate someone, it's better that you hate someone than to be indifferent when we're talking about a reality show. So if you're looking forward to it and you're not falling asleep through it, then I think they're doing their job. And some of these franchises I really do fall asleep in. And that's one of them.

[B]

I do not fall asleep in. Sale Salt Lake is one of my favorite franchises.

[A]

I mean, I think I've said it before. I think Bronwyn.

[B]

Oh, I love her. Oh, I love her.

[A]

I think Bronwyn should be the poster child of a girl who married for money, was stuck with an asshole and found her way out through the help of Andy Cohen reaching his hand out and lifting her up. And now she's single and screwing a 32 year old model. That's hot. And going to the Met Ball. She still has her money, she's famous, her skin looks better.

[B]

It does. It's funny how the more famous you get, the better the skin. I'm hoping for those days. Bronwyn is my favorite housewife. You just hit something that is so

[A]

emotional for me, I don't have any, any Problem with her marrying the awful Todd, also known as the character, by the way.

[B]

I think she loved him. I do.

[A]

I mean, I see the mean man from the.

[B]

The cherry pick.

[A]

No, from the up movie. Remember Up?

[B]

That's so Todd. It's so Todd.

[A]

And it was one thing I. You know, maybe you'd feel bad for him if he was kind of an ugly guy that married a young girl and helped raise her daughter and then she left him or whatever. That wasn't the case. He was mean. She knew he was mean. She took the show to show the world I'm married to a mean husband that eats the cherries.

[B]

Do you think this was intentional? Calculated? Even more reason I love Ronwood Newport.

[A]

They always say. This is what I always think when an inevitable divorce happens because they put themselves on a reality show. The woman that agrees to the reality show that's in the shitty marriage, she has two trains of thought.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

And they're both one. I want him to see how mean he is. I want him to watch it back and see how mean he is. And then he'll get nicer and we can stay married. I think that's their first thought.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I'll be able to be famous and have a career of my own. But he'll see to be nicer to me. He'll appreciate me. Cause I'm making money. He'll see that everyone else loves me. He should love me too. That's what they hope happens.

[B]

Fascinating.

[A]

What does happen is this. He's mean on camera. They edit it. This former CEO guy that you know has been walking around as a straight white male. Everything handed to him, never has been afraid, doesn't give a shit what people think. He opens his phone and realizes he has no chin. He never knew he had no chin.

[B]

That's impossible. Heather McDonald. How do you not know? You don't have a chin.

[A]

They don't know until they get on this show with their thirsty wife.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They read all the comments. Ah, now they become meaner.

[B]

She read my comment.

[A]

Then they become meaner to their wife because they're even more resentful that she did this. And she's reading all the comments. He's so mean. And they're.

[B]

They're not saying anything about her looks other than they're perfect. Yeah.

[A]

And you're so great. What are you doing? And then they break up. But their initial thought is to be successful and make. And stay married. I think maybe one or two. Go on going, oh, I'm gonna get divorced in year two. But I think their initial thought is. Or. Yeah. That he'll get better, he'll get nicer. Because that's why they've stayed that long. But really what it does is crack it open. And that's why there's so many divorces.

[B]

Heather, I have a question for you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

If you were to be on the Housewives, We've discussed this before and I've been approached. Would I ever think about it? I would never think about it. But you got me thinking about now. I would like to expose my husband for the mumbler he is. He's got marbles in his mouth. So if he sees himself on a reality show going, I'm sorry for Lori. And then I would say, see? See? And the fans would also, if I'm being honest, his breathing's heavy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What would you want to expose about Peter?

[A]

The enormously loud sneezes. The sneezes are so loud. I mean, I, I'm. People go, why are you, like, so jumpy? It's the sneezes. It's. They're so out of nowhere. And you know what? They can be controlled because I went to the Masters. Oh. And every. There was. There's Peters everywhere. There. There's Peters right and left. They all look the same. They all. You. From a distance. I thought everyone was my husband. Okay.

[B]

I hope you didn't act on that, Heather.

[A]

No, I did not. He was with me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There's allergies. We're at the Masters.

[B]

It's allergy season.

[A]

The guys are putting the ball and hitting the ball. Everyone's quiet. How is there not one 55 plus dad not doing one of those epic sneezes?

[B]

Because you can control it.

[A]

They can control it. It's performative. It's to make everyone in the house be annoyed with them. And they're still 13 year old boys and they get off on it. So they sneeze loud. They do it in threes.

[B]

Wow. Would you rather be with a man who has the volcanic sneeze or, you know, I'm going to say he does a. You have. You have to pick one.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Because how do you bang a guy who's like, I got a sneeze.

[A]

I guess I'd go for. Right, you got a big sneeze.

[B]

Aren't you a lucky lady?

[A]

He also does this other thing that started about a year ago. He goes through phases much like a toddler. Yeah. And it's like a. Again, like this big yawn.

[B]

It's a big yawn.

[A]

It's A big. And it's just because he's downstairs, like in falsetto. It's like he's downstairs and nobody's there with him. So it's like his like, call to just remind me that he's there.

[B]

Do you when not just your husband, but anybody sneezes. Because I'm. I'm grossed out by everything.

[A]

By the way. I love sneezing. It is. It is like a mini orgasm. I get it. Sneezing is very satisfying.

[B]

I feel that way when I hear the little Netflix thing at the beginning of each show. Boo.

[A]

Boo. Would you?

[B]

Per se. A man who sneezes and you don't like it could be a woman too. You hear the sneeze. My automatic reaction should be, and I'm a girl from the south. And the etiquette should be there. Should be. God bless you. But you know what I do fake a sneeze right now.

[A]

Achoo.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

You're disgusting. Yeah.

[B]

I say ew.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's not nice.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

But it's much like a sneeze. I can't control it.

[A]

Yeah. As far as going on the show, first of all, they'll never ask me.

[B]

No, they're not.

[A]

Way. It's way too. I'm way too inside baseball. I've never wanted to be on the show. I've always been someone that's fascinated, liked it. Liked the women outside of the show, liked interviewing them. The thing I would do is a type of show with other funny women, whether they're reality stars or comedians or writers. And we go on trips that are paid for, that are paid for. And maybe some drama happens, maybe they don't. I don't really care. I would rather not exploit my children or fuck up my marriage at this point.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I understand jobs are hard to find.

[B]

They are.

[A]

I understand there's a thirsty bitch who's 45 that's already put her whole life. People are thirsty out on Instagram and it comes a knocking.

[B]

Are we pitching right now?

[A]

No. I don't blame those trips.

[B]

No. But we're pitching right now. If anyone's watching.

[A]

Sure. Imagine Heather and I pushed for the ultimate girls trip. Production wise. All of it. Why I think that stuff works is it's a win win for everybody. Right. You're not tying up these girls for six months. You're not fucking up their marriages and exposing their kids who are out of town with them. They're not ready to have the whole world explore them. Maybe being annoyed with you because they forgot the cameras were there. And then it's like your son's an asshole for life. Like, you know. Do you not remember the scene?

[B]

Yes, I remember every scene, Heather. I'm an expert.

[A]

Real Housewives of oc. Gina Kino goes to the baseball game unannounced with Vicky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's just.

[B]

He was not having it. I don't blame him.

[A]

I brought it up 20 times.

[B]

That's why he never went professional.

[A]

But it's also wrong for me to bring it up 20 times. But I can't help it.

[B]

I can't help it.

[A]

They did the show.

[B]

They did.

[A]

He's happily married, has a couple kids, is like a realtor in Florida. I'm sure he is great. Still a great relationship with mom. Because every time I ask her, I say I still think about that. I mean, I cringey, but again, my sons have been rude and disrespectful to me. We all have had.

[B]

But not on camera.

[A]

But not on camera. And I wouldn't want that to haunt them. I think it could really affect them. Look at lynch curtains, kids.

[B]

Oh, well, what's left of them.

[A]

Yeah, she lost a couple fingers.

[B]

But how many fingers do you really need, Heather, when you think about it? Think about this. If I'm having a martini, right, and I'm missing. I don't know. Well, I would never miss my ring finger, but it's really just this section.

[A]

Do we know how she lost her fingers?

[B]

That's drug abuse.

[A]

It's not funny, you know, where you

[B]

don't lose fingers from too many martinis. Unless of course, you put your down and someone puts one on top really hard. And I'm brittle. I have osteoporosis. Heather, can we repitch this idea that it's a bunch of famous. A bunch of fabulous, funny ladies all in the world of reality. And you put us. And you're not putting us at some like all inclusive secrets bullshit, right? You're gonna put us. It doesn't matter. It matters to me where we stay, Heather.

[A]

I mean, obviously it's gonna have to be a setup thing, like a fancy where we have our house, we have activities. They split us up, you guys, it's grilling season. It's summer and you want quality meats. And how easy if they could deliver it right to your door. Let me tell you about Butcherbox. It delivers over 100 premium protein options straight to your door. From grass fed beef to wild caught seafood. It's all raised and sourced the right way. No antibiotics, no added hormones, no fillers. Just clean, reliable protein you can feel great about serving. I absolutely love it. We just used our barbecue for the first time this season and we had incredible filet mignons and they were so delicious. As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between free sirloin tips, ground beef or chicken wings in every box for life plus $20 off when you go to butcherbox.com juicyscoop that's right, your choice of free sirloin tips, ground beef or chicken wings in every box for life, plus $20 off your first box and free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com juicy scoop don't forget to use our link so they know Juicy Scoop sent you. You guys know I care a lot about my hair. This is all my hair. I don't have hair extensions, but it has gone through some stages in the last five years that needed help. It wasn't as shiny, fluffy as thick feeling there was some brittleness. I felt some shedding until about three years ago when I started using Nutrafol. I absolutely love it and Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified, fur sport and clinically tested to measure improvements in hair growth, quality and strength. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our juicy scoopers $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code juicy scoop that's nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code juicy Scoop for the last couple years I had the issue of waking up at 3am I didn't know what would fix it. So many it would happen like four to five nights a week. Take me about an hour and a half to get back into bed, fall back to sleep, turn off my phone, stop my brain from racing until I found magnesium. Breakthrough by Bioptimizers it is so important. Many women are talking about the benefits like sleeping better, less stress, better workout recovery, even improved digestion. But I don't really like to recommend anything unless I tried it personally. So that's why I've told you guys I've been trying it. I've been using it for a couple months now and I've really noticed a difference. Thank God in my Sleep. Here's what you get when you go to HTTPs://BioOptimizers.com juicy scoop and use code juicy scoop15 off your entire order. A free bottle of Mass Zymes Bio Optimizer's best selling digestive enzyme added to your order automatically when you use our exclusive code. That's a $20 product, free on top of your discount. This is a limited time offer and while supplies last, you cannot get this on Amazon. You can't get in stores. This offer exists in one place. My link, my code. That's it. So if you're already thinking about trying it, this is your sign. Go to HTTPs://bioptimizers.com juicy scoop. Use code Juicy Scoop and grab it before it's gone. Make 2026 the year you finally start sleeping great again. You remember in what I loved about this movie? Did okay, but it was. I think Tina Fey was one of the writers. Amy Puller. They go for like their wine weekend. Did you ever see Here's a hot

[B]

take on Lori Alterman? I don't really watch many movies.

[A]

Okay, well, they, they did like a weekend with all these funny women and they go to a Napa weekend and there's just this part where they are kind of talking behind each other's back. But it's all out of concern, which.

[B]

Because they like Beverly Hills this season, which I.

[A]

That's why I give it some credit, because I do think that's real.

[B]

It was.

[A]

You're like, okay, do you think something's going on with her? Like, I don't know, do you think their marriage is okay? That's what would happen. Like, if you're all together, you, if you noticed your friend of, you know, 20 years, you get it together every three years. You have this sorority weekend, whatever it is. So. But if we put this show together, there has to be more history, which sometimes I think the ultimate girls trip. I don't. I think sometimes they don't know what they're doing.

[B]

I don't believe Portia's friends with Vicki Gulfelson. That's where. Me too.

[A]

I think that you need to. If you're gonna do it, you do it with organic OC people that have a history with each other.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they go do something. You do it with New York and you bring them back and you could do a week. But it's all. They know each other. Not just. We hung out once at Bravocon and I dmed you that funny reel once.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No history is going to happen. In this week. No juicy things.

[B]

But you need to be worried about me because you've known, by the way, I would love us to go in. And I'm spending so much money. Like, so much money that you're worried about me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I would love that look for me and I would think as a friend and I'm saying a lot of money. I'm closing down stores that you go on camera, you call whoever and you're like, things are not normal. And how much she's spending. I think that's a great look.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it is what it is.

[B]

But I do believe she. And we're referring to.

[A]

Let's get to Dorit real quick. Since her pop. Ro we are days away from not only her book launch. Unburdened. She's making fun of herself. She's calling the times, DST Standard time, all the four places that she's going to, which is like, the first one is Barnes and Noble over here in the grove. It says 4ish, then 6ish, 10ish. I don't think being late is a. Is a cute quirk.

[B]

No, not the kind of. Delete Dorit late. And that's my name for her delete to read it is not it. It says I don't give an.

[A]

I don't care. There's no way lateness is something that is so indicative of your personality. Now, I believe there's three kinds of people in this world.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

The person who's always, always on time and maybe a couple minutes early.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. That's pretty much me. Except for today. Okay. Because I forgot my laptop and I have a zoom to do after.

[B]

So we did have to turn around one otherwise horrible. And you didn't lie about it and said you were checking on your kids?

[A]

Yes. Then there's people that you will keep in your life forever despite. You know, they're always about 15 minutes late, which is very late.

[B]

But.

[A]

And so you plan as you get older. And you. If you're someone who's always on time, it takes you to about 50 years old where you start to lie and tell them come at 3:45 when you really want them to come at 4.

[B]

Do you tell them that though?

[A]

I just started doing this with my sister and I've known her my whole life. I just started being dishonest.

[B]

Your whole life?

[A]

I've known my sister my whole life. She's my best friend and I just started being dishonest with her about the time.

[B]

But do you tell her that I'm doing this.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, you just did.

[A]

Well, she'll listen. It's okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But the last time we did something, she got there before me. I couldn't believe it. I could not.

[B]

Was she annoyed?

[A]

Not at all. But I'm not overly mad about the

[B]

15 minutes, especially here in LA. 15 is almost early.

[A]

So there's that, and then there's the Doritz, which blatantly will be late by an hour or two.

[B]

To a plane, Heather. To a plane? How does that even work?

[A]

Well, it's a private plane.

[B]

So what?

[A]

I know. Even worse.

[B]

You're. I find. And let me tell you something. Imagine being married to that. Go ahead.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, because I'll say it. I think maybe I'm Team P. You don't want to, but I think I'm Team pk.

[A]

I don't see.

[B]

To be married to. Yeah.

[A]

I think it was. We'll never know what really someone's marriage is.

[B]

I know. I know. Exactly.

[A]

And how it can get so ugly. And then being public.

[B]

What did you think about him going on the podcast? Did you see?

[A]

Yes, I know.

[B]

I bought it.

[A]

I think he finally feels. He's obviously released all the financials. He wants everyone to know that she's a shopaholic, all of that. And he blames himself. It's gonna get ugly. I don't understand how she makes 3.5 million a year. I don't understand how he, as the manager of boy George, makes 3.5 million a year. Have a bunch of businesses that make money. And then I think she also probably makes a million a year off of the live Amazons.

[B]

Well, there is money to be had.

[A]

I heard there's a lot of money.

[B]

He's not making it from Beverly Bikini, I can tell you that.

[A]

Beverly Beach. What ever Beverly Bates, you could call it. But I do think she probably makes 1.1.2. She's.

[B]

There's no three in front of it.

[A]

No, but she makes at least 1 2. I. I feel like the. We know what these housewives make. I don't know if anyone's ever gotten to the 2 point to the 2 million range, but I know they've gotten to like 1214 around there. And she has been on for like 10 years. She has. So I think she's probably at 12 to 1 4. So where the 2 other million comes from, it must all be brand deals. And that Amazon Live. That's what I think.

[B]

So she's an example of what you were saying. You know, I was saying I Don't care if Meredith Marks ever comes back. I don't love Dorit, but I. I think she should stay on because she's good tv.

[A]

She needs to stay on.

[B]

Well, she absolutely needs to stay on.

[A]

But nothing surprises me.

[B]

No, no, nothing surprises me.

[A]

Yeah, nothing.

[B]

Surprised. How about this beef with Lala and Mauricio? Are you up to date on that?

[A]

I am.

[B]

Okay. So.

[A]

So.

[B]

Well, let's talk Valley. Let's talk Valley.

[A]

Okay, so Lala's been my friend for many years. She and Amber, who was also married to her, their ex. Shared exes.

[B]

Oh, you just had them on here. That was fascinating. That's a great podcast. You haven't seen it? Check it.

[A]

Thank you. And, you know, now they're truly best friends. They have this podcast, Trauma Bonding. They bring all the girls together, you know, who are, you know, half siblings and everything, and it's just fascinating. And so I love watching Lala. I think she makes great reality tv. She's on the Valley full time. And last night, I have. It was. Well, the episode where Danny and Nia. Danny is.

[B]

Wait, Time out for a second.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is my first Valley. I'm not proud to say it.

[A]

Oh, you didn't watch the last two seasons?

[B]

Never. And my hot takes. I would love your. After you tell me about this opinion, because seeing it for the first time, I have some strong opinions, and I think I might be wrong, but I know I don't like Dani.

[A]

Well, let's hear your opinions. You go ahead. Let's hear your raw opinions.

[B]

All right, well, listen, I'm a Vanderpump Rules fan, and I never liked. And I like her even less on the Valley. First time I've watched the Valley is Kristen. Don't like her.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think she's a whiner. I think she's annoying. I think she's boring, and I think she's dramatic. The Kristen that I remember from early Vanderpump is what I'm seeing this season on the Valley. Am I right?

[A]

You are right. What's hard about this situation with all of them is, you know, we really are watching real lives.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And the state that they're in is kind of sad. It is. Rally's sad. Louisiana is sad. Getting. Being. Having a postpartum baby. Baby body baby, where you haven't lost the weight. Having.

[B]

It's not the reality TV we want to see.

[A]

Yeah. Having men that are. Where. We can edit it. We can edit it and see Danny being absolutely awful to Nia. Now, are there. Were there scenes where they went to the house in Santa Clarita and he set up a Manny and Petty for her and took out all the kids. And that could have happened. They're not going to show us that. So I'm saying we are seeing what they want us to see because they need the fans to get passionate. Last season, we were so angry at Janet.

[B]

Well, so tell. Tell me about that.

[A]

So last season, Janet was appeared through the editing to be going after Danny, saying that he drinks a lot. And then he had a drunken night. He touched somebody where he was handsy with a Jasmine, who we first met on the Bachelor when she was looking for a man. She's since fallen in love with a woman. She fell in love with a woman who I don't think is featured in this film.

[B]

How many people turn gay on the Bachelor?

[A]

She had just. Gabby fell and she's with Robbie Hoffman, who's hilarious. And there was one other girl that was on it, and then she was bisexual on the Bachelor in Paradise and got together with a girl, but I don't know what happened to her.

[B]

So Janet, I. I didn't see it last season. I did see the scene where she's on a boat and accusing people and being.

[A]

She just. Yeah, she, you know, again, she used the wrong words in. In this world of accusing someone. She didn't say, like, me too, but she basically said, like, assault. You, like, assaulted someone or something like that. A very strong word. And that's. We don't know. We never saw it. So what happened was he was boozing and he made some sexual reference or touched Jasmine's butt in a funny, drunk, I'm your friend manner. But also, somehow it was good because Jasmine was like, it really was uncomfortable. But also, being a lesbian, having a fiance who's a woman, being a girl who's in love with.

[B]

Gosh, that's confusing.

[A]

It, like, diminished. Yeah, it kind of diminished diminishes, like, where a guy doesn't really think that as a woman that you could be in love with another woman. So there was that element that was demeaning and then also just being sloppy and kind of touchy. We never saw it. It was brought up because it was never filmed. It was brought up as a storyline. And. And people at home, I think, felt like, was all right, you know, because he did reach out. He profusely apologized. But then Janet, it appeared, was on the track of trying to always point out, like, you know, he came to meet them at, like, Lake Tahoe or something or someplace, and he was Coming back from doing like a voiceover thing. And so the car drops him off. They've been drinking all day. And he goes in the pantry and does like a shot of tequila.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she saw it and she talked about it and it was like, well, I just wanted to catch up. Or do you have a drinking issue?

[B]

Does he?

[A]

Well, what I think what we're seeing now in this season is I think Nia put her foot down and was like, you're not drinking on camera. You're not drinking on camera. It made you look awful. You did these things. You look like a boozer. Like, we're not doing that. So if we're going to be on the show, you're not drinking. And because he can't drink. And these people actually aren't fun around to be. Aren't fun to be around unless you're drunk, in my opinion. I mean, which is why Schwartz is ordering drinks at the fucking roller coaster.

[B]

I love me some Schwartz.

[A]

I mean, people are. They have. They're drinking because these people aren't great friends. They're. They finally have some fun away from their kid.

[B]

They.

[A]

They want to get drunk. And Danny can't. So what does he do? He's irritated, he's on edge. He needs a drink to take the edge off. And he's nitpicking and being awful to Nia to the point where he's telling her how he needs. How she needs to do his will costume for a drag thing. Which, by the way, we've already seen that in Vanderpump.

[B]

Yeah. And no one was an uglier woman than Tom Schwarz.

[A]

No, wait, let's back up, though.

[B]

So again, being a first timer, I watching this season. I like Janet. Is that just. Is that sacrilegious to say?

[A]

No, no, I like Janet. I know her personally. I get it. I think, you know, I like her more than Dani. Her going after Dani again, we don't know if the producer said, hey, bring that up again. If she chose to bring it up, and if that's all they ever showed. But she was persecuted by the fans last season.

[B]

It seemed hard.

[A]

People were asking for her head to be fired from the show, all that stuff. So I think she's probably sitting back on Tuesday nights or whenever this airs and is like, Tuesdays having a pretty nice time opening up her phone because he is coming off horribly. They have four kids.

[B]

She.

[A]

Her voice naturally sounds like she's on the verge of tears.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She's always like, well, it's really hard because I'm trying to breastfeed and I just wanted one bite of a burrito. But Danny was hoping to get a massage and a coffee and he didn't realize that I had the blanket and he needed the blanket to swaddle her. So sometimes it's hard when you have four kids.

[B]

That is spot on. And a newcomer to the show. She's gorgeous.

[A]

Gorgeous.

[B]

Why did he capture her and take her out to some cult like where? I am not from here. Santa Clarita.

[A]

Santa Clarita is absolutely fine.

[B]

Okay. It's really far from everything.

[A]

It's far from where they have to film.

[B]

That's their job.

[A]

But it's a whole nother community that you know is outside of la, so it has the better schools and you can get a cute home and, you know.

[B]

She don't like it there, though.

[A]

No, it's not as cool. And you, you know, if you have your. Your group of 10 friends and. And you're all doing the mommy shit, it probably would be fine. But all her friends are here and she films a show and stuff, but they couldn't get that kind of a house out where everyone else lives, and it's much safer and cleaner and all that.

[B]

So is it okay that I like Janet?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I don't like Kristen. I definitely don't like Dani. I like Lacey and Jesse.

[A]

Right. So then Jessie gets this new girl, Lacey.

[B]

Yeah, I like her.

[A]

And she's coming off great. And you know before when they all said, oh, she's pulling a. She wants a cease and assist so that we can't talk about her. I totally understand why. Same, because if she's not on the show, she doesn't want you doing.

[B]

Out of your mouth.

[A]

Yeah. She doesn't want you doing confessionals about her when she can't defend herself. And then also she didn't want to be on the show because they were newly dating and she didn't want to look thirsty. Now, I also met her personally and she was lovely, but I didn't really know her deal. And now I watch her on the show and I'm like, I like her. And I like when she. When he told the little girl to, like, do a dance or something and she goes, don't make her do that. Like she doesn't want to do it. Don't ask her. And I don't think. I think a lot of people at home realized, like, oh, wow, that is a good parenting thing I should probably take on. And I don't think about that.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

I don't Know that I'd be sitting here today across from you if my parents didn't make me perform for free. Okay. Every time they had someone come over, my dad would be like, little girls. And Shannon and I would come out and we would sing.

[B]

She'd be late though, right? Like 15 minutes.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. But I would come out and I would have to sing for the cocktail party.

[B]

Sing for your supper.

[A]

I would have to sing, you know, the sun will come out tomorrow and

[B]

kind of love that. I have a great story like that. So it was when Grease came out. Cause I'm 100 years old and. And I had just seen the movie and we were at a holiday dinner and my parents were different than yours, Heather. They wanted me to shut the F up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And maybe I wouldn't be here today if they hadn't said it, because now I need even more attention.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I get up in front of the old grandparents and the aunts and uncle and the cousin. I think there was neighbors there. And I start singing. And I was all of, I don't know, 10 years old. Look at me, I'm Sandra D, Lousy with virginity. And my dad pulls me. I had a nightgown on. Would you ever have a kid at a dinner at a family with a nightgown on? Why was I wearing a nightgown? And pulls me by my nightgown in the kitchen, says, you can't sing that. And I didn't know why.

[A]

Well, I was gonna do. We were gonna try out for this. Like, I can see why he said that. But I had a similar thing happen. So at my all girl high school, we were going to do a talent show.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you had to audition for it. And you remember that group that, like, I think Prince put together those three girls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd be like, I'm a sex shooter. Shooting love in your direction. So I listened to the tape. Oh, no. I kept rewinding. I wrote down all the words so that we could lip sync it on stage in lingerie at the Catholic all girl high school. And my dad sees the yellow pad and reads the words, thank God. And he's like, you cannot do this. And I was like, what? This is whatever they're called. I forgot the name.

[B]

Six. Nikki something Six. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Something six.

[B]

They were hot.

[A]

Yeah. And so it was gonna be my sister Shannon, my. Our friend Lucy was in between our grade and me.

[B]

So what you end up doing?

[A]

We. I had like three acts that I was gonna do. There was gonna be a whole talent show that happened. And I. My senior year, I did a, like, stand up act. I did a singing thing. I did like a group dance and I did a sketch. And then.

[B]

Okay, Miss America.

[A]

No, then they canceled. They said, the music teacher said, we're not gonna have a talent show this year. And we're like, why? And he goes, one person's in four of the seven bits. So, no, we're not doing it. If you can you believe that? I was so bummed. Like, that's all I wanted to do.

[B]

If you could look at your set, if you can call it that, from that talent show, if you still have it, would you stand by any of the materialists?

[A]

Yeah. One was like an impression, which now looking back, it probably wasn't okay that I was going to do it, but it was Tina Turner.

[B]

See, that's not fair though, because it was. You loved her. It was an homage.

[A]

What's love got to do got to do with it?

[B]

Oh, it wasn't her, like, in pain and like, kind of.

[A]

No, not like. No. It was from like her hot video that I watched.

[B]

She's hot.

[A]

I know. There's so many what ifs in life. What if I had started this podcast even five years earlier than I had now? Where would I be? I think of things like that and you might be sitting on a great idea that could generate money and a new business venture for you. And you haven't started yet. And you wonder, how could it make money? That is where Shopify comes in. And I say, don't waste another day. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Skims and so many others. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. I mean, already so easy to get going, get the word out. Like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling, which you know is essential in this day and age. But many of you don't know how to get started and you need that reach to happen immediately. It's time. Time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com juicy. Go to shopify.com juicy that's shopify.com juicy. A lot of us want to do a reset when it comes to spring, summer. What can we do different? How can we change it up A little bit sleep is always a priority and a best way to do that is is I switched to the original mattress by Leesa. It is so great and you know, you have your nighttime routine and sleeping well and sleeping great is so important. And I've been trying to create a more peaceful nighttime routine, deeper sleep and when I made this upgrade I felt like, wow, this mattress is doing the job. Leesa has a lineup of beautifully crafted mattresses tailored to how you sleep. Each mattress is designed with specific sleep positions and feel preferences in mind. From night one, you're going to feel the difference. Premium materials that deliver serious comfort and full body support no matter how you sleep. Just take the Leesa sleep quiz and you'll find the perfect match in less than two minutes. Leesa mattresses are meticulously designed and assembled in the USA for exceptional quality. And they back it up it all up with free shipping, easy returns and 120 night sleep trial. Go to Lisa.com for 30% off select mattresses plus get an extra $50 off with promo code Juicy Scoop exclusive to my listeners. That's L E-S A.com promo code juicy scoop for 30% off select mattresses plus an extra 50 off. Support our show Juicy Scoop and let them know Heather McDonald's sent you after checkout Lisa.com promo code juicy scoop. Okay, let's talk more about. You had a hot take on New Jersey. You wrote me in text and you and you said real houses in New Jersey. And I was like, wow, this is a shocking.

[B]

I know. People are shocked. I don't.

[A]

Would you like to share?

[B]

Curse on the yes, of course. I don't fuck with New Jersey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like it. I don't like the state.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like the.

[A]

Where do you live?

[B]

Philly. And don't tell me it's New Jersey, but it's really close.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like the fashion. I don't like their homes. I don't like their accent. I don't like the drama. I do love me Marge.

[A]

Okay, well, she's not coming back.

[B]

I know. And I'm happy because I think she's better than that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And my least favorite housewife of all time is Teresi Judice. I don't find her absence of brain cells cute or funny. I think she's mean. I don't believe a word out of her mouth. I'm team Melissa. But it's just not a show that gets me that I feel I want to listen. I don't need to watch a reality series where the Holmes art more beautiful than mine, the people are more fancy, more fabulous.

[A]

You don't need to.

[B]

I don't. I want to be transported into some shit that I can't even relate to.

[A]

So you want it mean you want it to be better than your life or worse than your life Better.

[B]

I like the drama, don't get me wrong, but I don't need to be looking at their dated kitchens and their, you know, down the street, merry go round fashion. Will anyone know what merry go round is? Is that like a. I just don't. I want to be able to. That's why I still love Beverly Hills because at least I'm seeing some nice things. And the things they fight about on New Jersey I think are stupid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't feel it.

[A]

I mean, I feel like it's a different thing. I feel like it's really relatable in that it started with family and it still has family. And I think that the family, it's a different type of show. It's about family.

[B]

And by the way, Heather, I don't like family. And sure enough, when you work with your family, it never goes well.

[A]

The reason Beverly Hills to me is love me some Beverly Hills. If God came down and said there's only one Bravo show that you can ever watch over and over and over again, all the rest are getting removed. I would choose Beverly Hills.

[B]

So I would choose A two. I'd be nervous because there's others I love more right now.

[A]

But long term, long term to start from the beginning and go and around because one is I am a LA girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love la. I love the weather. I love so visually gorgeous. You know, I never cared about like Dallas being a backdrop or even Atlanta being a backdrop or Jersey. No, like those are just those backdrops of the city don't do anything for me. The women can be compelling, the story can be compelling, come and go. But with Beverly Hills, you have real, real LA Hollywood industry people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then on top of it, you have the history of Kyle, Kathy Kim, when it started,

[B]

there's nothing better.

[A]

It was nothing better. There's that and then and there and then there's history, you know, there's the history that even on a slower season that someone would argue that the dorit and the Kyle is. It's still. I still feel all of them bring a lot. I just had Bose on the show and I really liked her a lot.

[B]

She's fascinating.

[A]

And I had someone, someone did a little review of it on their TikTok. And they were like, I didn't like her until I heard her on Heather McDonald Show. And I do find her fun and interesting. So, again, like, they can all come back. I don't know how Amanda will fit into the next season.

[B]

Heather. I like her. I don't think she's a good housewife. Yeah, I like her.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's doing. I think she's kind of brilliant. I just don't think she, like, fits in relationship wise.

[B]

I don't think she's coming back.

[A]

I don't think any decision's been made.

[B]

Right. But I feel my gut is. And so I. My Roman Empire. I'm mostly thinking about nachos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sunscreen. I'm always looking for the best, kind of. And Erika Jayne.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

God, I just find her to be the perfect reality star, period queen. Thoughts on Erika?

[A]

I really think her story is fascinating. Yes. When I read her book, I was very disappointed.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There was absolutely no juice in it. Nothing. I still think it would be great to have her come and sit down here on Juicy Scoop and answer the questions I have, which are nothing incriminating. No, I am not out to incriminate her, have her lose her lawsuit. The things that I would like to ask Erica are. So you meet Tom Girardi. Okay. You have a decent relationship with your ex husband, and you decide the ex husband is going to raise the child in New York. Pretty controversial for that time. Very obviously it all worked out. You still have a great relationship with your son. I was always thinking that when she would get her bad season, which she never got.

[B]

Dying to hear this.

[A]

I always thought season two of her or three, some bitch is gonna bring that up. And they never did.

[B]

Maybe they did. And maybe she was like, oh, you're not gonna die. Because she did freak when people did bring up the sun. And later in the cop part.

[A]

The cop part, where that was so weird with Elaine Davidson. But I just thought. Cause I remember I was interviewing her and I said, okay. And then, you know, she's very. At this point, she'd only been on the show one season, so she's very holding back, guarded. It was when I did the podcast. We weren't even filming it back then, and she still brought three people for the photo. She had a hair guy, a makeup person, and the wardrobe person to be her and all. Lovely. Okay. Sat down. Did answer everything. But I said, so tell me. So you meet Tom Girardi and Tells me how she meets him and you know, moved in with like in her Toyota Celica and like a, like a bag of clothes. I don't even know if she had a luggage. Moved in with him. And then one day he's like, hey, let's get. We're getting married today. My friend the judge will be the person or something. And they got married on like the eighth hole of like whatever, some country club. And I go, so, so who is, you know, so who was there? Just, just the two of you and, and your son? And she goes, oh, no, my son wasn't there. Now the son was a little boy.

[B]

Yeah. Was the mom there?

[A]

And what I want to ask her is this is what I'm guessing. And now I believe it was such a transactional relationship that, you know, it was like living with your dad. And I think he said, listen, you can buy whatever you want. You can hop on a plane and visit your son. The son can come out here. But I need a wife to be available to me.

[B]

I don't hate that I can't have

[A]

you going to Little League, doing all this stuff. I am not looking to father a five year old. And I think that also part of the package might have been she was really quite generous to the ex husband. This is all me assuming to keep it nice, know that he had a great life in New York and everything. And maybe because she was already kind of living a separate life in la, not being a day to day to day mom, it was okay for her. It was okay for her and it was okay for her son. And like I said, they have a great relationship today. A lot of dads don't have a day to day with their kid and turn out to still have a great adult relationship with their child, providing they do it all right and everything. But I always thought, wow, how has that never been brought up in like a bitchy moment? But I, I'm glad that they didn't do it. Cause it would have been a really bitchy fucked thing to say. And the, and the.

[B]

But I love that you're saying it now.

[A]

But her comeback would have been like. And look at us now. Yeah, I'm, I have a great relationship with my son now. The son never appears on tv, which totally is fine, which is hot because he's a cop and she respects it and everything. But as a viewer, she's like, oh, my son loves my new boyfriend, who's like the Navy seal.

[B]

You wouldn't mind it.

[A]

You wouldn't mind it. Couldn't SEAL Dinner.

[B]

I wouldn't mind a cookout.

[A]

Could I see a dinner?

[B]

Could I see a cookout?

[A]

Could I see him Bring his girlfriend and see if she hits it off with.

[B]

Would it kill him? I mean, by the way, he's in a line of work. That could kill him. This won't kill him, right?

[A]

I'm not mad at him for doing it. I'm just saying she still. I don't care if we never see the boyfriend or the son. I still want her on the show. I still find her interesting. I like her advice. I like that she's become this person. But there's those kind of things I also would like to ask her. So now you've been married to Tom Girardi for a few years, and you're going to these highfalutin lawyers. Pasadena, which is the only old money town in la. It's Pasadena. Okay. These people are snobby.

[B]

They're not how Erica grew up.

[A]

Were these women mean to her? Were they nice to her? Did any of these other guys hit on her like they did in Pretty Woman? The book had no juice. He didn't even read the book.

[B]

Why did you book me today? We need to get Erica in this chair.

[A]

Because I always ask Erica every time I see her. She's very nice to me. I always say, I know you're busy anytime, but there's so many rules with Brava and all that shit. And. But I don't know. I think there's so much more.

[B]

This is the interview.

[A]

I think there's so much more that she could share.

[B]

And she should share that part because we did see signs and symptoms of her not fitting in, and we would feel the same way.

[A]

And he was an asshole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she realizes it now. And that, like. Erica, please.

[B]

Yeah. And that's one of the many reasons I love her, is that she could have gone the other way with being insecure and staying in the victim role and. Whoa. And I think she. She rose.

[A]

I mean, another person. Jennifer Tilly.

[B]

Well, can we talk about the dress for a second? Can I get one with your picture on it?

[A]

But only someone with her personality could get away with that. If Dorit did it, the world would rip her apart.

[B]

Course.

[A]

I mean, it's almost like sometimes when a drag queen does something, it's. Every woman is like, she's fabulous. But if a woman actually dressed that,

[B]

can you imagine if a mathematician had done it? Yeah.

[A]

No, it's not okay. It's like, you know, you're a thirsty, annoying twat, but someone that doesn't like, of course you should wear your face because you're Jennifer Tilly. And she's so likable now. She's someone that this has worked out perfectly for. She doesn't have kids. We never see the boyfriend. Kind of like Carol Radziwell when she did the show. And I told her this cause she's been on a show a bunch of times. I'm like, you're kind of lucky because you didn't, you didn't. You didn't ruin a family, you didn't ruin a marriage, you didn't hurt your kids. It's like you just could go on and be yourself.

[B]

Golden.

[A]

And so she could just go on and be herself.

[B]

Is she a friend of or a total member?

[A]

She's still a friend of. She's still, by the way, poster.

[B]

Someone who don't need a dollar.

[A]

It's the perfect role. It's the perfect role. It keeps irrelevant. I think she's just, she's doing some play or filming something right now. So she's able to still be top of mind for someone that may have otherwise forgotten about her.

[B]

Of course we would have.

[A]

And then she gets to have her fun and she's just sweet. She doesn't have to hide her money. No, she got it perfectly. She married someone who made a bunch of money. She got really smart with her divorce and then when he died, they were still friendly. So it's like she, when she has some $100,000 bag, no one's mad about it. Your dead ex husband left you that money.

[B]

Was she married to Bart Simpson? But she also is a brilliant poker player. Let's give her some flowers for that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Insane. Very interesting woman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm looking at the cast and well, I mean, you know her and you went to her party and I've never gone. Kathy Hilton. What a moment. What a once in a lifetime. I mean, she should be protected at all cost. She's a national treasure.

[A]

I think she is great. You know, she too has two sons we never see or hear about. I don't know what they're doing.

[B]

They're good looking.

[A]

And that's all fine. You know, like when I've been like, how many grandkids do you have now? She'll say all, you know, like, I think a couple of the boys have

[B]

had kids, but the only ones that count are the ones from Paris.

[A]

Well, to me, right. But I think it's, it's nice that, you know, Paris is one type of star. Nikki is really building her own brand. But Nikki marries a Rockefeller. I mean, oh, they just have done great. They.

[B]

And I root for them. I want. I want really wealthy people to get more money.

[A]

Why do you think she was so angry at Kyle for doing the short lived show American Woman about their mother?

[B]

Listen, we all have complicated relationships with moms. And Kathy's was very different than Kyle's. And if you're. I mean, Kathy's a little older, 10 years older.

[A]

Different dads.

[B]

Listen, it's a private thing, right. And Kathy doesn't put her dirty laundry out. And she felt like, why are you doing this? I have these great memories and not great memories, and I'm not putting on blast. I understand why she was angry, but I also understand and was proud that Kyle's like, but this is my story.

[A]

Right. And the story of how that came about is Kyle went to like Soho House or something with a couple people.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

They were like fans or something when she was still dreaming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they were just chatting and she was just telling these fun stories about her mother and she leaves. And then they called and they said, you know, we actually think that'd make a great scripted show. And I want you to meet these, whatever. And you can't blame her for being like, now I'm an executive producer of a scripted show about my life. It only went one or two seasons or something. I never really watched it. I am very familiar with the book that you cannot buy anymore, which is. It's the book about the Hiltons. Some fan sent it to me and it was written probably 20 years ago. Paris had already been famous. It is not flattering towards the mom and the men that she dated and what her aspirations were for her three daughters.

[B]

And mom liked the drink, right? Yes.

[A]

But also the moment, you know, was smart in the sense it's two. There's two different kinds of moms, Right. My mom was the mom that was like, you get an education, you make your own money. Don't ever depend on a man. You won't need a man. You're going to this private school and you're gonna go and be a star and be a successful person, whatever that is. That's how my mom, like, when, when my mom was young, her parents were like, sent her to this to live with her cousin who was only 20, because that's where a private all girl Catholic high school was in Chicago. And at that time they were like, that's. You're smart and that's the only way you're gonna like have A career is if you go to this private school. So those schools started to kind of, like, keep you from getting knocked up and just being a housewife, like, whatever. So then there's that kind of mom. This kind of mom was like, no, you're gonna make it. Cause you're gonna marry the richest son of the richest man in la.

[B]

Mission accomplished.

[A]

And you are gonna go for that. And you know what? It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor man. And it was that kind of mentality. Obviously, in Kathy's case. It certainly has worked out.

[B]

It sure as hell has.

[A]

They, like, seem like their best buds and been together, like, 45 years. Kyle married this, like, Persian prince.

[B]

Yeah. And who used to be hot.

[A]

The first one. Or. Oh, wait, we never talk about the Mauricio.

[B]

Right. She married the first husband.

[A]

Yes, right, right. And had the first daughter, Farah, and. And that. They seem to always have a decent relationship. Then she marries Mauricio, and they don't have a pot to piss in. He's selling suits at a clothing store. They. They get their real estate license together, and he starts working. Then she starts having kids. He starts working for the Hiltons.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And like I said, it never works out when you work with family, ever.

[A]

I work with my family.

[B]

Well, that's one off, Heather.

[A]

I don't know if it works out.

[B]

Oh, well, maybe it does. But for sure, in Mo's case, there's bad blood.

[A]

So what happened when you said what happened with the Lala story? So the Lala story is. I guess she said on her podcast that he DMed her.

[B]

Well, he did.

[A]

And said, let's get coffee. He did. That's all true.

[B]

He did.

[A]

But then he was stopped. And they said, tell us about this. And he goes, she's a liar. I don't think she's lying. What happened was he got wind that she was recapping shows or whatever on her podcast. And, you know, I always say, you know, the new thing to the TV show should be, I heard what you said about me on your podcast. I mean, that's what it is. You just say it. You put it out there, and then you have to, like, clean it up.

[B]

Can we talk about someone right now and make it happen?

[A]

Let's finish this story. But then think about.

[B]

Yeah, I'm going to say something about.

[A]

Okay, so then I think he heard her, and he reached out. He's like, hey, I heard what you said about me on your podcast.

[B]

Which is that He's a player or whatever.

[A]

He goes, I'd like. I'd like to clear it up or something. Either on the phone or we could get a coffee.

[B]

Weird.

[A]

And it shows. So then that's what it is. So she's not lying, per se, but why would you have to get a cup of coffee? So, okay. I had PK reach out to me once. No. Because on my podcast, maybe two seasons ago, I said, you know, they're 20 years apart. They're eating PK. And he wrote me and he said, we are not 20 years apart. We are seven and a half years apart.

[B]

I don't blame him for reaching out to you, Heather.

[A]

And I'm like, you are only seven and a half years older than Dorit. He goes, Dorit's 47. This is like two years ago. And I'm 56. Or whatever it was. Or 54. Whatever. It's seven years. And I was like, wow, you look a little older than that. But I was just like, wow, she looks a lot younger.

[B]

You got it wrong.

[A]

But he was. But I. Yeah, I got it wrong. You're not 20 years apart.

[B]

Wouldn't like that if someone said you're.

[A]

You know.

[B]

No.

[A]

So I kind of loved that he did it. I wasn't offended. I like that he corrected it.

[B]

And you like his accent, right?

[A]

I'm flattered that he knew about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, all right. Like, you know, I like to read. I think he's fine, too. Like I said, we now know everything. You know that he drinks too much or doesn't. She spends too much or it's right or doesn't. Nobody is spending any money on the mortgage. It was his job. There was a letter got lost in the mail. Whatever. Now it's ugly, and we know it. And you're both adults who have filed. You filed for bankruptcy. You've opened businesses. You've spent money. You're not. You're not 20 and 55. You're not Erika Jane, who doesn't know what's going on with her husband's business at this point. This has happened before. You should have been able to figure out a financial plan. And my priority would have been not to move. I would have done whatever it was to not move.

[B]

My priority would have been hiring Amanda Francis, but.

[A]

Okay, what was. Who do you wanna talk about to get some press?

[B]

Who do I want to get the attention of? I mean, listen, it's not popular, and I'm in a minority now, but I still think Craig Conover's hot.

[A]

Well, why did he suddenly become unhot?

[B]

I'm gonna tell you. Cause I'm a Southern charm expert.

[A]

Because Paige dumbed him. No.

[B]

God, do I have to teach you everything? I was just boots on the ground in Charleston. And I hung out with Ms. Patricia.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And let me tell you something. She can't even get Craig to sleep with me. People don't like Craig because he is, in fact, a liar.

[A]

Okay, what did he lie about?

[B]

Oh, he lies about everything. And because he acts different on camera. Don't we all? But the end of the day, Heather, I just think he's hot looking. So what I'm gonna say right now is Craig Conover came onto me at BravoCon when we were alone in an elevator.

[A]

How?

[B]

It didn't really happen, but I want him to hear it. Oh, and I want him, not his publicist. I want him to reach out and say, that didn't happen. Lori, I'll be on your podcast. People just don't like him. They think he's immature. They think he's. But I just. It's one of those people that. He's not a fan favorite anymore. But I'm not fair. Weathered. What is it called?

[A]

Fair weather fan.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I love me some Craig Kahn over.

[A]

Well, I remember when my heart fluttered. Okay.

[B]

Uh.

[A]

Oh, it was BravoCon, the first one in New York. New York, New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Where you had to walk blocks to go to the three different spots.

[B]

The old school.

[A]

And I went to the spot where all these people had their booths, and I was with. So I went there, and I'm walking through the booths, and I see Craig and Austin selling their sewing caps, sewing down socks. I never met them. I didn't even cover Southern charm that much. They knew who I was, both of them. And they go, Heather. And I come over. I got a free cap.

[B]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

Both tall and cute. My type. Southern frat boy types. And I got it, too, for both of them. And then when he was with Paige, I was at an event at Spago for women in reality TV or something like that. And Paige is adorable. And I'd already had Hannah on my show, and I know Hannah. And they again, both came up to me. Very, very sweet and cute. But I knew from Hannah, years back, she did a show of mine. And then we got a drink after.

[B]

Not got a drink after.

[A]

Without telling me too much, like, okay, shake your head or whatever. Like, give me the. I was like, do you think they'll get married? And she was like, no, no. And they still stayed together like a year and a half after that. So I was like, oh. So I wasn't surprised when they broke up. I wasn't surprised by their kind of dynamic on camera. And I think part of that is just, you know, circumstances. And also, you know, Paige, success. And when you date at that age for a certain amount of years and you don't get engaged or married by a certain amount of time, that window becomes something where you're like, maybe I don't want this. Like, that's why guys, when they do find that girl. That's right. They do need to lock it down.

[B]

They do. They do.

[A]

They need to lock it down because she'll change her mind.

[B]

But he wasn't gonna be able to lock her down. She was a star rising. And what I didn't mention, Heather, is maybe Craig isn't great on alcohol and maybe he got thrown out of Kyle and Amanda's wedding because of it. And maybe he's very mean on it. And maybe the last season of Southern Charm, that's another reason they don't like him. But I.

[A]

Is he sober now?

[B]

Well, he said he was sober and then he started drinking. And that was a big storyline this past season. But I have to tell you, I don't know, there's something about Craig's temper. I mean, I'm almost 60. Whatever turns me on turns me on. I don't want him hurting anyone, but I don't mind. A little out of control Craig.

[A]

Well, speaking of you, do we think. Yes or no, Allegedly. Do you think Jen Fessler got fingered by west over her pants? Well, no, it would have to go under.

[B]

No, I think it was an inappropriate flirtation.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. I think that they didn't have real skin on skin and I believe they didn't have sex. Am I naive?

[A]

Heather, I don't know her personally.

[B]

I have met her and she was on my show.

[A]

I think she seems likable and non polarizing. Just kind of like you don't hate her. You don't go hard for her and ride at dawn. Like she's just a normal woman that was pretty that knew the people in the group. Like, I just kind of, you know, and I'm sure she's intelligent, like a decent friend. I. Who knows, some would say, you know, whatever that is the who attest too much. Whatever. I mean, I, I think I had someone once tell me this like manager guy goes, didn't you? Oh, no. Someone. Oh, this was it. It was like somebody was like, didn't you have A threesome with like, Sofia Vergara.

[B]

God, would you be cooler? Did you just say yes? Why wouldn't you just say yes? I was like, that's amazing, Heather.

[A]

That's the best rumor. She kind of did that. She kind of was like, I can't believe, you know, that anyone thinks that I would be Eskimo sisters with Sierra or whatever she said. But I just. I don't know. I think. I think because maybe it was a little inappropriate or maybe there are phone calls or dms or something flirty that happened. Who knows? I don't think her husband cares. I think if she told him this stupid rumors going around, I'm going to squash it. He's probably like, fine. He probably didn't listen to two cunts on a zoom. He didn't even listen to that episode. He doesn't even know what's going on and he doesn't care. And then because she is trying to stay relevant, she probably was like, I'm gonna make lemonade out of it. She is.

[B]

Listen. She was very upset not to be cast again. She was riding off into the not sunset. But I would say, who is getting. Whose collateral damage is her son. He doesn't find any of it. She.

[A]

I don't even know she had a son. That's how much I don't remember from the show. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

She has a son and daughter. Ugh. New Jersey. But I would say he's not finding it cute.

[A]

It's embarrassing.

[B]

The whole world's now, but I think it is. Doth protest too much. You must be. But there's something about the way she's denying it that I'm believing. It may be my woman's instinct, but I would love it if I'm wrong.

[A]

Gosh, would I love that. I. I don't know. I think it's. I think it's possible. And it also could be nothing.

[B]

No, no. But he did.

[A]

How about that?

[B]

Watch what happens? You see that when he says. And he says, have you slept?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And he says, almost 60.

[A]

And it was weird.

[B]

It was weird. But that's what I liked about it. Oh, didn't he. Did you think he was cute before this happened? No. Wow. I did. I feel so dirty.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

I didn't.

[B]

Wait, how about, I never liked Amanda Betula until this season.

[A]

Now you like her? No, no.

[B]

At the beginning of the season, I started liking her. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[A]

Because you felt sorry for her and you're glad.

[B]

Well, because I had a younger daughter saying she's like the cool girl and she's beautiful and she dresses and Kyle's mean to her and wow, did I flip my way of thinking. I don't like Mandy. You know who I don't like also? Well, I don't like Karl Radke's mom. I've. I've made videos about that. You see that episode? Good Jesus.

[A]

I don't know what you're talking about. But do tell me why. What's wrong with his mother and why you go after a reality star's mother

[B]

that comes over to Lindsay at. At the soft bar with no alcohol, and she's like all in the camera and Lindsay's face. And Lindsay's like, I didn't marry your son because of this.

[A]

Oh, oh, this is recent at his launch where she look like it went well.

[B]

You got to see that. But who I've just really never liked. I don't get why people like her, but people ride hard for is Lindsay. What is your feeling on Lindsay? I want to. I don't want to pull a rapaport here. I don't want to get in trouble. It's not that I'm dislike her. I just don't get the hype on Lindsey Hubbard.

[A]

I think she's really pretty. I like, good for her and what she's done. I love that she's a mother. I was always very curious. I was shocked when they got together, her and Carl.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I always thought when he was a little bit heavier and he'd wear those white pants, I always thought he would end up with a boyfriend. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, think we all.

[A]

But there's, you know, there's no proof to it.

[B]

I. I don't think it's. I don't think that's gonna happen.

[A]

I heard one something, but it doesn't matter.

[B]

I heard that about west td.

[A]

I. You never know. Guys, younger guys that are horny, I. They may dabble in the dick. They might dabble in the dick, and still.

[B]

God, I don't even dabble in the dick anymore.

[A]

Not really care. And why is it okay for women to make out with their sorority sister and do all that stuff, but for some reason, guys, the minute they do a sword fight, they can't hang out with a girl again? I don't know.

[B]

I know you were a big sorority girl because you were cool like that. Like me. When you look at the pictures on Facebook of your sorority sisters, now, there's none of those you're going to do. Correct?

[A]

I never did anybody. I never kissed A girl. I've never kissed a girl. I've never even done anything like that.

[B]

If you had to pick one woman on Bravo to kiss, I know who I'd pick.

[A]

I think I'd pick Ciara.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I mean, I just think.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Her body and her skin, it's just like she's so perfect. And not only is she a model, she's a nurse.

[B]

So if you pass out from cardiac arrest for being with a woman for the first time, you think it's gonna be that great, you're gonna have a heart attack. My God, Peter, what are you doing wrong? And you're tall and lanky like her, too.

[A]

Yeah, I just think she's very, very attractive. Um, but I'm just not attracted to women like that. But she.

[B]

Don't you wonder who I would want to be?

[A]

But wait, I want to go back to the Lindsay thing.

[B]

She's just mean.

[A]

I don't think she was mean. She had that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She was. You thought she was mean to Carl?

[B]

I just think she's mean. Overall. I just. I don't like her energy.

[A]

I mean, it's kind of interesting that a show where, you know, so many times we rally around women and we're like, I can't believe that, you know, you were with this man that crushed your dreams and didn't believe in your crocheting or whatever. And we have two instances on Summer House where the women were bashing his DJ aspirations and she was bashing his soft bar. His soft bar thing. And listen, I kind of was on Lindsay's side too. I was like, I get it. And I think part of it was, you haven't taken this opportunity as being a television personality to make a business work. I'm kind of getting turned off now. We're getting married, and I don't want to put our combined income into the hardest business on earth. A restaurant bar, sober or not, Coffee house. A real brick and mort mortar thing that you've never really worked in. It's not like you were. Your dad owned five restaurants. You know, I mean, I. That's where I think.

[B]

That's not Ronald McDonald.

[A]

That's where mine is. So, anyway, so that.

[B]

That was great. Do you own. Are you McDonald money?

[A]

No.

[B]

Do you get free Happy Meals?

[A]

No, But I did when I was a little girl. I was being bullied. Is your dad Ronald McDonald? And my mom said, just say it. Tell him your dad owns it. So I went back in, like, third grade and I said, my dad owns McDonald's. And then I went A little further. Since we were at Catholic school, we didn't have a cafeteria, but every Wednesday you could fill out a little form and get a burger delivered to you. And I said, we donate all that.

[B]

So you lied in Castle. I lied.

[A]

And I went Catholic school. Yeah. And I said, we donate all the hamburgers and everything. And so how do you work with yourself? And for two weeks, I was the shit

[B]

fall apart.

[A]

A little shit came back to school and said, you're a liar. My dad told me that the people that own McDonald's aren't even named McDonald's anymore. And it's a franchise, which means anybody could own a McDonald's. There isn't one person that owns McDonald's.

[B]

What does little Heather. You were never little. What does tall Heather say? At that point I just said, oh, God.

[A]

I just said, okay, like I was joking.

[B]

So I'm at a frat party in college. I went to University of Georgia.

[A]

Go Dogs.

[B]

And this hot guy comes over right on the spot, quick. As quick as I am. He says, what's your name? I'm like, Lori Rapp. He goes, rapp. I'm like, saran Wrap. He goes, that's your. I'm like, yeah, rap is my family. We. We invented Saran Wrap. And he just kind of walked away and went to the keg.

[A]

Is that true, though?

[B]

Yeah, I said that.

[A]

But did you invest?

[B]

No. Oh. Do you think that Saran Wrap is a rap family and they happen to do rap?

[A]

I don't know, but.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But he was the one and only. I never lied again. Because I figured. Heather, if a third grader can figure it out.

[B]

He never lied again.

[A]

No. About McDonald's.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

About McDonald's. If a third grader could figure it out, then you're. It's not a good lie. It's not a good lie.

[B]

You have a crush on Sierra Miller. I can't believe you want to have sex with Sierra.

[A]

No, I want to have sex with her. You said if I had to kiss someone. If I had to kiss someone. Okay. Wouldn't be Jen Fessler. No. Because old women are gross.

[B]

What Bravo boy would you kiss? Because obviously I would say, craig, you can't go mo. You can't go mo.

[A]

Craig is pretty good. Let me just go through here.

[B]

Kyle. Wow. Do you think Kyle Cook.

[A]

Absolutely no one from the Valley?

[B]

No. Do you think I like Tom Schwartz? But. But not. I don't think I want to kiss him anymore. Wait, what is Kyle Cook? Heather, are you finding him having a glow up and being Hot.

[A]

Now, I like Kyle Cook, but to me, he's a little short for me, and I don't go for anything in the blonde family.

[B]

There's street signs that are short for you. How tall are you?

[A]

I'm only, like, 5 9. But I am definitely gonna say. I'm gonna say. I mean, I'm gonna say I think Craig is the only one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't even think I'd want Austin.

[B]

No, you don't want. By the way, Craig and Austin aren't speaking. They hate each other. Now, Whitner's a new guy who I've become friends with. See that guy on the left? Yeah.

[A]

He's cute.

[B]

He's a southern gentleman.

[A]

Yeah, I like him, but I've interviewed. I can't even think of his name.

[B]

I can't see from here.

[A]

You know, what's his name? Shaky Leg Sha.

[B]

If you're not having. You're not.

[A]

I interviewed Sha. Listen, I like this show because I'm attracted to that frat boy style that he and Austin and Craig all share.

[B]

So I think Shep went to my college.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But, you know, he's old now, and he's not.

[A]

You know, I'm gonna just. Yeah, it's gonna have to be cranked as well.

[B]

Yeah. And so I have a question for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is your favorite reality TV show right now? It doesn't have to be Bravo. Like, what just makes you smile and you can't stop just hearing the theme.

[A]

I mean, it's gonna have to be Real Housewives, Beverly Hills. And it's not on anymore. Right now.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

But that would have to be it. That I'd be the most excited. I watch it on Peacock the day after, so I'm like, oh, good. You know, it's Friday. I have a few shows to watch.

[B]

You wish it was on all year, every day.

[A]

I don't know if I even love it that much, but it makes you happy. But, yeah, if I have to pick one, I'm, like, more into scripted shows a little bit right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm sad that the comeback is over.

[B]

That was great.

[A]

There's just certain. There's just certain things, but I feel like that is a little quirky and it's not for everybody. So that's where we're at. Well, tell everybody where they can enjoy more of your fabulous hot takes and humor.

[B]

Well, you can find me. I'm a tiktoker. I'm an Instagrammer. I do a little entertainment reporting for Us Weekly. And I have a podcast called Juicy Scoopy. Does that bother you? There's a Y on the end. Juicy Scoopy. Fan or fanatic, by the way.

[A]

Fucking hilarious, right?

[B]

I love you, Heather.

[A]

Juicy Scoop.

[B]

Just love you.

[A]

Trademarked, I know, but there's a lot of things that have the word juicy in it and a lot of things that have. But you cannot take the scoop out of the juice. Say juicy scoop. I love it. Like when I see like one time Melissa Gorga is like, oh, give me the juicy scoop. Like, I love that it's in people's vernacular. Yeah, you just can't call your podcast that or wear a shirt with it. Yeah, but that is really funny that you just said that. And I loved being illegal. Yeah.

[B]

And. And we will go after you, my team. This has been fun. I like. It's been so fun.

[A]

I love that you came out and we'll have to do it again sometime and. Well, that's. Yeah, that's great, Queen Heather. Love you. I love you so much.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

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[A]

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