Jung On Purpose Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: Jungian Insights on Love and Loss

Host(s): Debra Maldonado & Robert Maldonado, PhD
Release Date: October 14, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Debra and Dr. Rob Maldonado explore the profound emotional and psychological journey of love and loss through a Jungian lens. Focusing on how breakups, loss, and relationship endings can catalyze self-discovery and personal purpose, they weave in mythology, neuroscience, and depth psychology. The episode offers both personal anecdotes and practical reflections for listeners navigating relationship transitions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Inanna Myth as a Metaphor for Relationship Loss

• Debra opens with the ancient Sumerian myth of Inanna to illustrate how loss strips us of roles and identities, forcing a confrontation with our naked, authentic self.

  • Quote:

    “By the time she reached her sister's throne, she stood naked and vulnerable—no longer a goddess draped in glory, but a soul laid bare. ... When we think about a breakup, it feels as though we are facing this kind of descent.”
    [02:30 - 03:30, Debra]

• Jungian Interpretation:

  • Dr. Rob adds that Jung saw myths as archetypal patterns arising from the collective unconscious, not written history, reflecting our inner journeys.
    • Quote:

      “These are archetypal patterns that emerge from the unconscious already made. The death, because it's a symbolic language, doesn't mean she got killed. It simply means she was transformed.”
      [04:37, Dr. Rob]

2. Psychological and Neurological Impact of Relationship Loss

• Neuroscience of Attachment:

  • Debra explains that our brains “sync up” with close partners; when the relationship ends, it creates neurological and emotional disruption.
    • Quote:

      “Our brains sync up with the person we love...your brain is sending a signal neurologically that something is weird and something's missing.”
      [05:35, Debra]

• The Loss of Identity (Persona):

  • Relationship roles become embedded in our sense of self; their loss can make us feel destabilized and redefine us (e.g., spouse to single, partner to widow).
    • Quote:

      “A married woman versus a single woman...all of a sudden we have these new titles, a widow...that title has changed.”
      [06:17, Debra]

3. Reframing Breakups: From Failure to Transformation

• Breakups as Growth, Not Failure:

  • Dr. Rob reframes endings as steps toward growth and learning, not merely failures or mistakes.
    • Quote:

      “Every relationship opens up something in us and prepares us for something beyond that... They're not necessarily failures.”
      [07:04, Dr. Rob]

• Independence and Purpose:

  • Loss can recapture suppressed parts of self and invite new independence. Debra candidly shares her own post-breakup story of upheaval leading to inner discovery.
    • Quote:

      “It was almost like I had everything taken away on the external, so I had to go inward.”
      [11:58, Debra]

4. Seeking Relationships to Fill a Void

• Chasing Social Validation:
  • Many pursue relationships to fill an inner void or satisfy social personas, especially before midlife. Debra describes wanting marriage to “check the box.”
    • Quote:

      “It was all about this kind of identity of having the things that socially you felt. Right. I always felt embarrassed going to weddings alone...”
      [08:03, Debra]

5. The Necessity of Individual Purpose

• Finding Yourself Before Finding Love:
  • True relationships thrive when both partners live from their authentic self, not from a place of seeking external validation or completion.
    • Quote:

      “If you don't know who you are and what you're doing in this life, how are you going to find that perfect match for yourself, you know, your soulmate?”
      [12:33, Dr. Rob]

6. The Shadow and Emotional Reclamation

• Breakups Reveal the Shadow:
  • Shattering of roles exposes suppressed fears and emotions; Jung calls this the shadow. Healing involves integrating these aspects rather than repressing them.
    • Quote:

      “Another thing too...with breakups…all the things that we stuffed in our life, even losses... Jung would call that the shadow.”
      [15:24, Debra]

7. Growth in Relationship and Individuation

• Parallel Growth and Support:

  • Lasting love requires both partners’ ongoing personal development; struggles emerge if only one partner grows.
    • Quote:

      “We're starting to see couples doing it together, which is the ideal...when one person does their inner work and the other one doesn't, we know there's going to be trouble.”
      [16:47, Dr. Rob]

• Choosing Relationships out of Fear vs. Love:

  • Authentic love requires risking vulnerability, not settling out of comfort or fear.
    • Quote:

      “Imagine staying in a relationship because you're so afraid of being alone... that's like a prison. That's not freedom. It's not love either.”
      [15:24, Debra]

8. Self-Work and Lasting Connection

• Inner Work Isn’t About 'Fixing' Yourself:

  • Working on yourself enables genuine connection but doesn't mean you’re broken or must become perfect.
    • Quote:

      “It's more about becoming and remembering who you already are... don't feel like you have to... feel like once I work on myself, then I can find love.”
      [25:11, Debra]

• Growth Through Relationship:

  • Quoting poet Rilke, Dr. Rob says that in love, we must “be each other's keeper of that space that allows them to grow.”
    • Quote:

      “That's part of your job, that you make sure they have the space to grow... Relationships are really meant... It's like our natural personal development session.”
      [24:29, Dr. Rob]

• Risk and Courage:

  • Allowing oneself to love fully means risking heartbreak, which is a necessary part of growth.
    • Quote:

      “You have to be willing to face... Get your heart broken to find love. You have to be...willing to know that's a chance and that's the only way you can...”
      [26:39, Debra]

9. Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Reflect on Lost Roles:
  • When experiencing a breakup, consider what role or identity you’re truly grieving.
• Individuation is Lifelong:
  • Inner work is a continuous journey, not a “fix” to achieve before love.
• Love and Growth are Inseparable:
  • Lasting, soulful relationships are found and fostered by two people committed to their individual and shared growth.

Memorable Quotes

• “The death of us to make way. For me...I really like that.”
  [10:28, Debra]

• “If we are externally wanting somebody to fulfill that soulfulness for you, that's really unfair to the other person. You're putting a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.”
  [12:33, Dr. Rob]

• “Remember that, you know, it's not just, it's not a loss of love. It's the beginning of individuation. And I feel like it was the greatest gift in my life.”
  [22:25, Debra]

• “Relationships are really meant... It's like our natural personal development session.”
  [24:29, Dr. Rob]

Essential Timestamps

• [02:30] – Inanna myth and metaphor for loss
• [05:35] – Neuroscience of partnered brains and loss
• [07:04] – Reframing breakups as transformation
• [11:58] – Debra’s personal transformation through loss
• [15:24] – Breakups reveal shadow; emotional processing
• [16:47] – Parallel growth in partnership
• [24:29] – Rilke quote, space for growth in love
• [26:39] – The necessity of risking heartbreak

Tone and Language

• Warm, reflective, deeply personal, and practical.
• Debra often speaks from lived experience; Dr. Rob contextualizes within Jungian theory.
• Both stress the value of inner development, self-reflection, and seeing relationships as opportunities for individuation and personal expansion.

Conclusion

This episode offers profound Jungian wisdom for anyone experiencing relationship loss or seeking deeper love. Debra and Dr. Rob invite listeners to move beyond culturally-conditioned roles, embrace the inevitability (and value) of heartbreak, and see every ending as a beginning—a sacred descent that, like Inanna's mythic journey, offers the chance to emerge wiser and more whole.

Next Episode Preview:
The hosts will explore what it takes to build long-term, lasting love through purpose—balancing individuality and connection in relationships.