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Deborah Maldonado
This is Yang On Purpose with Deborah and Dr. Rob Maldonado of CreativeMind.
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Join us each week for a deep approach to personal growth through our neuromindra coaching method. Grounded in Jungian psychology, Eastern spirituality, and current neuroscience.
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Be empowered to escape the trap of
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fixing yourself and step into your purpose to live a more conscious life. Let's begin. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Young On Purpose. I am Debra Maldonado.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
I'm Dr. Rob. Welcome to the program.
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Deborah Maldonado
We are going to cover today a wonderful topic about pursuing your dreams and why so many people have dreams but they hold themselves back from pursuing it. And we're going to talk about the psychological reasons why people don't pursue their dreams and what you can do if that's you, and hopefully inspire you by the end of this episode to go for it and do something. So hopefully this is a very inspiring episode and helping you understand what. What's happening in your life. If you are one of those people that have a vision or a dream, but you haven't taken any action toward it yet, and then those of you who are in have been taking action and maybe hesitating a little more to really live it bigger, this is also for you. But before we begin, I do want to ask you a favor and please subscribe to our channel if you're watching us on YouTube, if you are watching us or listening to us on one of the podcast services, don't forget to subscribe so you can get every episode. And that really helps us reach more people with this content. So, Rob, do you, are you, do you think you're living your purpose? Are you living your dreams?
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah. Yeah, we'll see. Right? I wanted to start with the story. It's kind of a sad story, but it makes a point.
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Deborah Maldonado
Okay.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
So I used to work the night shift in the hospitals as I was working my way through, through school, through graduate school. And the night shift is. Anybody that works the night shift will tell you sometimes they call it the graveyard shift. It's a tough one because it's like the hospital goes quiet, lights go down, most people are asleep, but there's a few people still awake. And, you know, you still have to do some, some work there. I, I used to work in respiratory. So I got a chance to meet a lot of people that were, that were at the end of their lives, let's say last few months, perhaps last few weeks, sometimes last few days. And what I noticed, what in talking to them, that was that there was a lot of regret expressed towards the end and that regret was usually about not pursuing their dreams. It wasn't so much that they made mistakes or that, you know, what they chose to do. It was more that they didn't choose what was really in their heart.
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Deborah Maldonado
Like they didn't even try to see if they could succeed.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah. And that I think is, it's part of our human nature that we all kind of know what we are here to do. But often, maybe most of the time, we don't know how to do it or how to go about making it happen for ourselves. And that is what we are talking about when we talk about pursuing your dreams, living your vision, expressing the full potential of yourself. All those things really are metaphors for this journey that we enter in life and that it appears to have some kind of aim, some kind of target, but at the same time it's vague. It's not given to us in a manual. Like when we get a computer or something, the manual kind of helps us out, figure it out. Or this my body. There is no manual. We're just, you know, do your best,
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Deborah Maldonado
almost like feeling it right. We're, we're sensing like, I think the first stage for me initially was this feeling of something's not right, there has to be something more. But I didn't know what it was. It was just a level of discomfort, you know, not a big discomfort, but just like that pebble in your shoe that like why am I doing this? You drive to work and I would commute a lot, many of my jobs and like what am I doing? And, and I couldn't wait till the weekend. And I was like, is this the kind of life I remember thinking one time in the corporate world, I was like, am I working my whole life and only living for that two week vacation? You know, living for the weekends and that two week vacation. I was like, this is not a life. And, and it was just really like. So I, it a like a little hint like, and I know we all have it. We all have. I think everyone has a dream. It's, most people ignore it. And we're going to talk about why and we're going to talk about what happens if we don't. And most people will say, well what if it doesn't work? And I always tell people, well what if it does? And you don't know until you open it up and see. Right? So another visual that was a, you know, very touching story, Rob, about that last moment. And I, I, I often think of this metaphor. If you're not driving, just think of Yourself in this beautiful, comfortable room has a fireplace and maybe you have candles around and the lights are dimmer and it's just really quiet. And you know, those cool fall days and you may have a blanket on you in a very comfortable chair. And there maybe you have your dog or cat next to you or on your. And you look out and it's a beautiful day. And. But you're just kind of hanging out in this very comfortable room. And then you see outside of that window this other you that's pursuing his or her dreams. That's, you know, going on an adventure. But you're too comfortable. You think, oh, that would be nice, but I just am too comfortable. I don't know. Want to get up. It just takes too much effort. And that's kind of a metaphor for how we feel. Like we have. Like we look out the window of our mind. There's In a. In our mind's eye, we see something else for ourselves. But we. Our mind convinces us that where we are is good enough. Why wreck everything? Let's just stay in this little room where it's comfortable and it's not really super comfortable, but it's. Your ego says this is better than the discomfort you're going to have to face when you are pursuing your dreams. And so the first reason why people don't pursue their dreams is because of the discomfort that's involved. And, you know, you're. We're going to talk about a little bit the power of conditioning and why psychologically, we are always avoiding discomfort as human beings.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah, I love that. I mean, this is a huge topic, but these are some of the kind of clear ideas that we can certainly understand and hopefully be able to work with as we proceed. Each are. Each of us are on our own personal journey of development, of growth, maturity, of discovery, of what Jung called individuation, meaning becoming your true self. And so one of the. One of the things that is vastly, vastly underestimated, its power is underestimated by most people, is conditioning. Now what does conditioning mean? It's neither good nor bad. It simply is a powerful force in our lives. And the way it works is that the environment sets us up for success or failure based on our. Our own perception, like our ego perception. If I take an action and I appear to fail, it doesn't work. In other words, the. The intention that I had for that action is. Is not received or does. It doesn't come about my. My mind, my ego mind reads that as failure. You failed that incident. One incident, one trial, then Reduces the chances of me repeating that action.
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Deborah Maldonado
So put a hand on the stove. It hurts. I won't do that anymore. And we learn this as children, like, what's safe, what's not safe. And our parents teach us what the boundaries are. If you get punished for doing something, okay, I'm not going to speak up about my. Speak up again or I'm not going to. I'm going to be home by time and follow the law. The. The land. Right.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes. On the other end of the spectrum, if I take an action and succeed according to my specifications of what success means, that increases the likelihood of me repeating that action. Now, these are 1. A couple of discrete actions. Now, imagine how many actions do we take in our lives from the time that we're born till this morning? Billions, maybe, you know, just individual actions,
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Deborah Maldonado
Just even this morning. How many things do we do?
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes. The effects of those actions. The, the kind of. The analysis that our brain makes of whether this was successful or not. The. The total sum of those actions, we, we can say that is our conditioning. And it is conditioning. We can think of it as the environment, the environment that we grew up in. And the actions that we took in that in those environments shaped our behavior, literally shaped it, molded it to where it is today. And so if we were able to understand every action a person has taken in their past and the results that they got, we could predict essentially what their next action will be.
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Deborah Maldonado
Didn't they say past behavior shows.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Is the best predictor of future behavior?
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Deborah Maldonado
Best predictor of future behavior. Yeah.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah.
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Deborah Maldonado
So we know that. And we, and a lot of people, well, don't know their own patterns yet. They don't see. That's when I stop. That's when I give up. This is what my mind says when I think about my vision. Like, we don't even examine that. Sometimes we just. We're very emotional. It's like, it's not. Don't entertain that idea that, oh, let's push that aside.
- [11:09]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Well, actually, the brain creates a sense, like an illusion of free will. So even though we're acting out of our conditioning, meaning we don't really have a choice if the, if the environment calls for a certain behavior, I will admit that behavior based on my past conditioning, and I don't really have a choice. It's automatic. But the brain, what it does, it makes up a little logic loop after the fact to account for why I responded that way.
- [11:47]
Deborah Maldonado
Are you looking for a satisfying career as a life coach? If you are seeking a deeper path of training, and growth. CreativeMind University offers an ICF accredited life coach training program that goes beyond surface positive thinking and into a powerful process of real transformation. You can start your new career as a certified life coach trained in a unique methodology based on Jungian theory, Eastern spirituality and social neuroscience. Get the tools to become your true self, change your life and the lives of others. Visit creativemindlife.com click on apply and speak with one of our team members today to discuss your future and possibilities of becoming a certified Life coach. That's creativemindlife.com.
- [12:43]
So here's a perfect conditioning response that most corporate professionals that we work with, especially when they, after they take the leap and take our training or do one of our programs, they say, what the, the conditioning is the paycheck. I cannot give up my beautiful corporate salary, the benefits, the health insurance now like all that is. And their mind tells them that this is the only way money can come to you because they've never had an experience of it coming any other way, you know, unless they got inheritance or something. But they've never been an entrepreneur or never been had money for like created money for themselves outside of the corporate world. So the mind or the brain will just say, well, there's, this is just how money comes. Like, you don't even question it. And then you, you think, I can't do it another way. Even if you kind of vision and think, yeah, maybe the conditioning part of our mind keeps saying, but what if it doesn't work? That question, what if it doesn't work? So we end up staying in our corporate jobs for years. I know for me it was years and years of me trying to figure out, like, I, I remember I, I would take a course and be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna leave now. And then I give up. Or even one time I was laid off and I was doing some, I, I went to massage school actually, and I thought, well, let me try something. I want to do get out of this, this corporate life. And I got a phone call and it was a friend of mine from the last job I was at. And he said, hey, they're looking for a marketing director for this new startup. And I said, no, no, no, I'm living my dream. And he was like, really? And I was like thinking about, I'm not making any money right now. Like that pull back to that steady paycheck was so powerful. So I went back again to, to work again. And it was like, it happened a few times where the, the first time I quit and left and the second Time I got laid off. And it happened. I got laid off twice. And the second time is when I finally made the choice. So it was. I had passion. I knew I wanted to do it, but it was like this. Almost like I was fighting this invisible force that was not letting me make that change. I was scared. And I was wondering how I would. Would I make money and all those things that we always worry about. But the last time, I remember thinking, I've been putting this off for so many years, and I know I want to do this. I found the hypnotherapy brochure, like, two years before, but still was not ready. And then I finally. I got that brochure, actually that morning, and I got laid off. And I knew exactly what I was going to do. And my friends were like, are you okay? And it was like, no, I'm totally fine. I know exactly what I'm doing. And I told them, I just want to see what I'm made of. I'm so tired of myself being afraid. I want to take a courageous step. And it was the best choice of my Life. It was 23 years ago, 2000, and best, best decision of my life. And was like, why did I wait so long? So hopefully we can inspire you to those of you who are sitting on the fence, like, standing at the edge of the water, afraid that it's going to be too cold or, you know, too hot or you're going to drown in the water of your dreams, this ocean of your dreams that, that you are. Once you do it, you're going to wish you started sooner. So it's like almost, you have to push through. And so how does someone overcome this resistance? Rob, it's not the right time. Something feels off. Will it. Will it work? What if it doesn't work? Right? That all those things your mind tells you, the. The pay is good, you got insurance, and then you also have the family around you telling you, don't quit your job. It's a great job. Like, why would you quit? You chase your crazy dream. Like, everyone around you, people at work, all will be like, you can't leave. Like, we're all like it. We all bought into this idea that you have to have a job.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
That's a big part of it, that we're swimming against the stream. Almost like those salmons that have to go upstream against the current. There's a lot of backflow, right? Everyone is going in the opposite direction. They're looking for security, they're looking for stability, predictability. And we're saying, I want to take a risk. I want to go for my passion, my dreams. And so there's this sense that we're kind of going against the tide. Swimming against the tide, right? People, they mean well, you know, the, our relatives who tell us, don't quit your day job and you know, stay where it's secure and all that. I mean, they, they mean well. Of course they're not telling us, give up your dream, you know, just work for a living.
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Deborah Maldonado
But some say that's crazy. I mean, I've heard people say, what? That's crazy. What are you doing? Like, you have a great job.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Maybe our, our friends might say that.
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Deborah Maldonado
Yeah, no, my family told me.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Your family too?
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Deborah Maldonado
Well, my mom, every time I quit a job and she'd be like, what are you doing that for? You have such a great good thing going. Like, don't take it like she was, she's very risk averse. So.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
And, but the, the research shows in something interesting that we're not afraid of failure. We're more afraid of the story we tell ourselves, of what failure means.
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Deborah Maldonado
Well, that's good.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes. Because in a sense, we've already failed if we're not pursuing our dream. It's already there. It's already happened. But the, the idea that, oh, I'm gonna announce to everyone that I'm gonna try this and I'm gonna try to do something big or something that's unique to my passion. What if I fail at that? Would it be the end of me? Right? Would it spell the, the end of my, myself, the way I conceive of myself with this dream, will that die completely?
- [18:37]
Deborah Maldonado
Will I lose all hope? Yeah. Well, I think even more than the story, I always talk about that in this story lies in emotional pain that we're going to feel regret or grief or anger or, or kind of shame, you know, around. Because we're, we told everyone we're pursuing this and it doesn't work. And what is everyone going to think? My family is going to go, how's that working out for you? How you doing? Well, you know, like questioning us. And then we feel worse that we're afraid they're going to not be supportive or, or make, you know, judge us. Right. And judge ourselves for our inability and. Yeah, and I think that. So the first, what would you say would be the first thing for people that are having those thoughts and fears to begin to like, break, you know, not let that stop them. What would be a good, good thing? Like how, I mean, of course we always say A coach is priceless at this point because when you have a coach, they're going to help you question those thoughts. They're going to help you get to the root of what those. What's underneath all those thoughts. Especially a Jungian coach, we talk about the unconscious and the drives and the complexes and a lot more. Instead of just changing your positive to positive thinking, you have to get to that emotional root of what. What is it that you're really afraid of. And they can help you break out of that pattern of the. Of the condition pattern of that's behavior that's holding you back.
- [20:00]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah. And from our approach, because we are up against a huge obstacle, in a sense, our own mind, our own conditioned mind. We have to bring out the big guns. We really have to think about what are the powerful tools that we have to make our dream happen. Because if we don't. If we don't take it that seriously, it's not gonna. It's not gonna happen. We're just not gonna do it. It requires discipline, strategy, commitment, all those things that people talk about, but those are the things that really make our life meaningful. Because think about what they are. These are powerful emotions that I'm committed to something bigger than myself, that I dedicate my time and effort and study to this work. Those things are really what we call a meaningful life, meaningful work, a meaningful existence. So they are challenging, though. They require kind of a lot of discipline. They give us the most.
- [21:17]
Deborah Maldonado
Well, I think the key here is we fear this, but it's what we need. And that is like we need the discomfort because that, that actually working, rubbing against the discomfort is we're hitting our comfort zone and we're. We're seeing what's stopped us all along. When we start pursuing our goal, it. All the things that are. That held us back unconsciously will show up so we could see them. But the second one is the identity shift. We have to change our center of consciousness from the ego to this true self. The part of us that voice sent us, it says, I want to change the world. I want to make the world a better place. And, and a lot of times, especially many of our, Our cl. Corporate, they're in the corporate job. They have the identity of executive or C suite titles, or maybe they're a CEO or a doctor or a lawyer. And they have this like, identity wrapped around this success in the way the world wants them to be successful. And it's. We have to learn to let go of that Persona and step into the role that we want to step into. And there's a lot of hesitation. It's again, it's what we need to face. But at the same time, the ego is terrified because it's losing. It's built itself around that conditioning and around that social acceptance of this title that you've earned, or the standing in your life, or even the financial success that you've had. Like, what if I lose it all? You know, all that like you built up in your life. It's like, why would I walk away from that? And it's a very, very strong, powerful, powerful challenge. But also it's what we need to do in order to step into what we. I had to leave marketing, corporate marketing, Deborah, to be a hypnotherapist. And my friends were like, who is she? Now they call me the Debbie Llama because I started getting into, you know, what I did for a living. They stopped seeing me as that place. But it took a while for them to see me in this new role. And I had to let go of the comfort of my paycheck and the, the, the insurance and all the things that I had. But it was very short lived sacrifice because within 18 months I was back to my corporate salary and I was happier than I've ever been in my life. And so you think you're giving, your ego will tell you you're going to give it up and it's going to tell you the worst case scenario and then everyone's going to abandon you and they're going to think you're, you're going to be a fool. And what happens is the opposite. Like I said, my friends started calling me the Debbie Llama. They started calling me anytime they had a problem. They thought I was this wise woman all of a sudden because I stepped into that role. And that's you. You'd be surprised. For me, I was surprised at how everyone embraced my new self. And we think everyone's going to judge it. But I was surprised at how welcoming everyone was and supportive, which was really interesting. Before I did it, I had a little pushback, but once I was doing it, it was like everyone, I was like, wow, look at, I inspired so many people to do it. I mean, I remember when I first met you, I told Rob, I'm like, I keep getting people and they're going to my hypnotherapy school. And Rob and I are like, why don't we create our own school? I'm inspiring so many people to pursue their dreams. I mean, they would sit in my office and they I'd say, what do you want to do? What do you want to work on? So they're like, I really want to do what you do. I really want to do something like you do. I want to help others. And so I felt like by me being in my power, it's infectious. People want to do like. And especially you making it work and dedicating yourself and like it's going to work and be really honed in on that. It's very inspiring to people. So it's not only for you, but think about the ripple effect and other people being inspired to take that leap and change their lives.
- [25:06]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
And I think to get there and to help people get there, we need to understand the nature of the ego because again, it's neither good nor bad. A lot of people make the ego this terrible enemy kind of situation, but it's not that, it's its nature. And it evolved over millions of years to make sure that we bond with each other, that we're able to fit into a group and kind of damp down our own desires and ideas and, and let others collaborate with us. Right? Kind of fit into a tribe, a family, a society. So we need the ego for that. Without the ego, we couldn't do it. We'd be too selfish, too, too idealistic. Maybe we wouldn't fit in. We would stand out like a sore thumb, essentially. So we need to learn that the lessons of the ego, which is to build a Persona, as Jung says, a personality that people can relate to and admire and like and accept. If we don't do that task, then we're for the rest of our lives kind of trying to catch up and trying to build some self esteem and some sense of I. A strong ego. So we need a strong ego to get to the point where we say, I'm ready to pursue my dreams, right? I'm ready to go for my passion. If we don't understand the nature of it, then it's very difficult because the ego will continue to tell us the to avoid failure. Like you were saying, why would you give up your secure job to pursue this uncertain job of building your business or chasing your dream, Right?
- [26:58]
Deborah Maldonado
Well, the ego doesn't have an imagination. It doesn't. It can't see forward. It only can look backwards. And so if it doesn't have evidence of that, you've done it before. It doesn't like new things. So it's calculating what, what it knows. And it's like, well, I don't know that. So let's stay with what I Know, I know if I show up at work every day, I'm going to get that paycheck and I'm going to get that promotion and then I have my two week vacation and I can have my beautiful home and my nice brand new car and, you know, beautiful clothes and have this great lifestyle. And if I do that, that could all go away. So why don't we just stay?
- [27:37]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes, but we know that that's an overblown kind of control assumption that the ego's making because we know nothing is for certain even if you stay in your cubicle for as long as they allow you to.
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Deborah Maldonado
I got laid off. I was laid off. The universe was like, go, it's time. Stop putting this off.
- [28:04]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah. So it's not as secure as the ego makes it sound. It's a little bit more predictable, we could say. But trusting in yourself and learning to trust in yourself, see, cultivating those qualities, those skills where you can depend on yourself in the long run is a lot wiser because then, well, it's more
- [28:27]
Deborah Maldonado
secure to be more secure.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Exactly.
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Deborah Maldonado
Destiny. And if you're not individuated, if you're living from ego and you're living from that Persona, you are have no power, there's no free will there. You, you are like basically leaving it up to fate. And if you have awake. And I really love that. Like our young and coach training and all of our coach training, we help people individuate from the ego and help them become their true self. It, it actually helps them on that journey to make that entrepreneurial leap, you know, because we have to see, cultivate another part of ourselves that is not the ego. And we need tools to do that. I think that one of. And again, one of the most critical things is coaching is so critical for this. This is what coaches do. They help you move from point A to point B. And that ga, that chasm between you where you are now and where your dream is a very confusing, chaotic, scary journey sometimes. And then if you have someone to help you that's standing by your side and telling you to keep going, telling you what you're experiencing is normal, that's going to make all the difference. And I think that's what made the difference for me. I hired a coach like four months after I left my school and started my own business. I hired a coach and I didn't even know there was a such thing as a coach. A friend of mine told me I have a business coach. I'm like, what is that? And we ended up Doing a lot of inner work, which was about the mindset about Eastern philosophy. And that was me was a game changer. And I saw my other colleagues that went to school with me didn't have a coach, and they were still trying to figure it out on their own or putting it off. And, and I was going for it. And my, I hear, I, I sent so many people to that school. They, the, my friends that have gone said they. She talks about you all the time because you're one of those people that made it happen, you know, and it's one thing to get a training, but the next thing is you have to make it happen. And you have to. And, you know, having something like individuation in your training like we do helps you prepare for that transition where you're not just learning techniques and then you're, I'm a coach now, but you haven't done the inner development to make that transition of ego to your true self.
- [30:45]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
A couple of things that have come down to us primarily from Eastern philosophy, but also from current perceptual neuroscience is this fact that we know now. The brain tends to create our reality based on what we expect to see. So expectation, we can say, is going to guide your perception, to show you the things in your environment that match your expectations. Now what, what does that mean in practical terms, especially for somebody who's thinking of going for their, their vision, making their dreams come true? What it means is that if you don't work with your mind to expand that vision, to clarify that vision for yourself, then the mind will always show you the past conditioning of your experiences. What can you expect from your life? If you don't give it anything new through imagination, through cultivating your vision, then it simply goes back to its past experiences and says, well, in similar experiences as you are in your current situation, we experience this, so we can expect to experience it again. And it simply just uses our past experiences, our past conditioning, to reconstruct our present situation. Now it literally constructs it, meaning it chooses things from the environment that match
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Deborah Maldonado
those as a reinforcer, right?
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah, it's kind of a. It's more like a predicting machine. The brain essentially functions as a way to predict what is going to happen in the next moment in this environment.
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Deborah Maldonado
And so that prediction is based on
- [32:51]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
our assumptions, on our assumptions on our past experiences. Unless we're operating at a higher level and are using now that understanding, that principle to supplement. Instead of letting the brain use past conditioning, past expectations, now we're giving it new information and saying this is a new vision that we're expecting, that we expect to see. So what it does is the same principle applies. The brain is going to pick out things that match your expectations, but now it's using your vision to guide that movement forward. And so it starts to show you opportunities in your current environment that match your vision for yourself.
- [33:47]
Deborah Maldonado
I, when I first was in my 30s, I was dabbling with I want to do something different and went to massage school and then I did energy healing workshops and you know, a bunch of different things. And I saw my friend and the assumption I had was, you can't make a lot of money doing what you love. Like, you have to have a corporate job. Like, people that pursue what they love, they don't make any money. And the people I was seeing, like my colleagues and friends and even teachers, they were not making any money as healers. And I thought, like, why would I leave my nice job, this is great to do it. But I, I, I, I, I was kind of doing it part time and with friends and all that, but I, I felt like I can't leave because look at them. And so are you saying that like, so from my assumption, I was surrounded by my mind start only notices the people that reinforce that assumption or that reflect that assumption. And then it kind of has a compounding effect because now you see it out there and then, yeah, my assumption's true.
- [34:50]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Very much so. If you have the assumption that your idea won't work, what you, your brain will do is it will tend to remember and pick out instances that reinforce that of why it won't work. So when somebody says, maybe a friend says, are you sure you know what you're doing, that that might not work, that will really hit, right? And they'll sit, your brain will say, hold on to that because that's important
- [35:22]
Deborah Maldonado
and you think it's coming from them. But all the doubts and things hear voices you hear out there and people's attitudes towards you about it are only reflecting yourself.
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Dr. Rob Maldonado
That's right.
- [35:32]
Deborah Maldonado
And so I got to the point where I felt like I had, I had no choice. Like, you get to the point where you just, I said, I don't care if I have to live in a studio apartment and drive a beautiful car. I just want to do what I love. So I was like ready to let go of not having any money. Like, not like I was just assuming that I'll be fine, you know, I'll just, I just want to be happy. And what happened was the opposite. When I let go of that attachment to that security, I, I got more, I got more security. Like, I didn't, I didn't have the reference point for it. And I remember people thinking, you know, learning about the mind and learning about how, where money comes from in my, in my training. And I was, oh, this is all this new, new ideas. And so here's, here's one thing I want to say about that is that you don't know until you cross that threshold of the resources and the change and, and all the people that will support you and how the. I'm getting all emotional about how the universe supports you to let your dream happen, but you can't see it until you commit and take that threshold. It's often misquoted by Goethe, but it's about being bold and move that forward. The universe moves with you. Like it's going to conspire to help you be successful. And we don't see it when we're still in our little cute little room in the little cat dog and like petting the cat and we're not on the adventure. But when you're on the adventure, I mean, so many people, helpers, people wanting to buy my services, people wanting to help me write my book. I mean, everything became possible after I made that decision. And so it really comes down to, you know, it's like stepping into the void, but knowing the void will catch you. And it really is. It's such a. Like, like I got all emotional. When you feel that the, this soul, your soul in you is going to take care of you versus the world out there is going to take care of you. It's like there's. There's nothing else like that. Nothing. Nothing. And I live a lifestyle that I could have never thought I could live when I was in the corporate world. And just amazing. And then I met this wonderful man who. When you step into your purpose, the relationships change and you have different friendships and people that light you up. It's. It's really amazing.
- [37:54]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
I think that's a good way to put it, is that we're either led by our vision and our purpose, or we're led by these external goals of security, predictability, consistency, that kind of stuff. Again, there's nothing wrong when it's a choice. Like, that's my measure of success. If you really choosing that life of predictability, great, it's working for you. You're doing it. But it's a, it has to be a real choice. Most people are in their cubicles or in their corporate positions, not because they Chose it. But because they think there's. That's all I can do.
- [38:35]
Deborah Maldonado
There's no other. They don't have a choice. Right. They don't have it.
- [38:39]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Exactly. And that's a very different proposition because there you're essentially expressing this learned helplessness that some psychologists have talked about, where it's kind of a giving up, no longer striving to transcend yourself and just saying, maybe this is as good as it gets, and stopping there. And Jung's message, really, the message of his psychology is that we never stop growing as long as there's one more day to live. You might experience something completely different than yesterday. You're stepping into the future, into a new opportunity, new sense of you.
- [39:24]
Deborah Maldonado
Predictability is overrated.
- [39:26]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes, that's right.
- [39:28]
Deborah Maldonado
And I love this idea that the dream is not something you're pursuing, it's something that's pursuing you. Your dream is inside of you, pursuing you, and it's not going to stop. Are you going to keep refusing it?
- [39:43]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Right.
- [39:44]
Deborah Maldonado
Are you going to let yourself refuse it? And I think, you know, when I was a hypnotherapist, I did tons of past life regressions, whether you believe in past lives or not. But I think this is really profound, is that every single person, I did hundreds of them. And whether or not they were imaginary or not, but the, their last words, I always do, like your last word on your deathbed in that life. And they all said the same three words. What a waste. Like, they feel like they didn't live the life they wanted to. And it was. They were looking at these ordinary lives that are, you know, all the problems. And it's like, what did I do with my life? Why didn't I live my purpose? So I feel like there is part of our soul that is, we're here for a reason. We're not here to escape the world. We're here to be a part of a contribution to the world and giving back. It's very selfish to not express your gifts to the world. If I never stepped out, I think about all the people I inspired to do their. What they love. And I, I see them on Facebook now, like it's been two decades of them starting their businesses and doing things, writing books, even be finding love and stepping out of their patterns. I think, wow, what if I didn't step into that? I wonder, you know, maybe someone else would have helped them, but what an impact I made in the world. And. And that's really what you're doing it not for yourself and not for Your comfort. But there's people in the world that need your need, your gifts that need you to be all you can be. And the most important person is you, that you need to count on yourself. And there's nothing more powerful than finding that weight of count on yourself and bet on yourself that, that if you can trust in you and yourself and you never have to be afraid anymore. Yeah. So wonderful.
- [41:32]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah. What you're saying, it reminds me of this kind of romantic idea because I don't really see it as judgmental, but it can sound a little bit like that. But I think it comes from the Gita where Krishna is saying, if you don't express the fullness of your being. Right. If you don't pursue self realization, you're stealing from humanity, you're taking up space. Well, if you, if you think about our gifts, in other words, we're all given these gifts, talents, skills, intelligence, dreams, passions. Yeah. If we don't express them, we're kind of hoarding them. We're saying, yeah, this is, this is important to me, but I want it for me and I'm not going to do anything with it because I'm afraid of failure or because what do people think? Yeah, yeah. That it says it's, it's kind of a stealing from others. Because if this, these gifts were given to you, they're meant to be expressed in the world. They're meant to contribute something to the universe. And if we don't do that, if we don't take that as that's part of our reason for being alive and being in this world, then we're not fulfilling our sacred duty, which is the expression of that purpose.
- [42:58]
Deborah Maldonado
And purpose isn't a career. It could be. That could, like. I think coaching fulfills a lot of my passions. Writing and teaching and spiritual development and all those things. So it really is a perfect ideal career. But it doesn't have to be coaching. It could be something that lights you up or two different careers. Maybe you're doing art or maybe you're doing yoga and you love the, you know, the whole Eastern philosophy and studying Eastern texts and teaching wisdom. I mean, it doesn't have to be one thing, but you can make that your career or make a way to make money through what you love and, and you find you be creative with it and you get to be happy every day instead of dreading waiting for the weekends, you know, and having that pit in your stomach on Sunday nights going, I gotta go back to the office. I remember, well, Mr. Smith is going to be Yelling for his report. And you know, my colleague's going to fight for my, that promotion that we're both competing for. And what, looking at the clock, is it ready to go or working crazy hours, Never getting thanks 70 hours a week bringing work on your vacation. You don't even get vacation. I mean, what kind of life are we living? You know, So I, and I think it's time. I think the world needs people stepping into their purpose more than ever. If you look at the world, I mean, political divides, wars, you know, diseases and just climate change. I mean, everything is kind of coming at once. I mean, the world, world always has problems. But, but we can be, we can be a vehicle for change in the world. And what a powerful thing to be a part of something. We might not be able to change the whole world, but if we can like, help a little piece of it and we, when on our deathbed, we won't be saying, what a waste of or have any regrets. You want to die with zero regrets. You want to say, I gave it it all, I gave it my all and life was a wonderful ride versus me just playing it safe. And really there's, I always say there's nowhere to fall because we are spirit. We're not, we're not the ego. So when we go through, you know, when our body dies, we're still alive. Like there's nothing that can destroy us. And to know that we're invincible that way is really a powerful thing. But it takes study, it takes understanding philosophy, it takes understanding psychology and preparing yourself and your mind for this great journey and having support along the way. And I highly, highly recommend coaching as a way to do it because they're just priceless when it comes to reaching your dreams. Yeah.
- [45:36]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yes. Let's build. Let's create community. Yes. That should be our mantra right now. That's what we need. And if you had some advice for people that are, like you said, at the edge right now, they're, you know, they're looking for, what is the next step for me in pursuing my dream. What would you, what advice would you give them?
- [46:00]
Deborah Maldonado
Do what scares you, because that is exactly where. It's the opposite of where your ego wants to go. So do something that scares you and know that the, like, even if you, let's say you have this great corporate job, like, for me, I knew, always knew I could probably just get another marketing job if I wanted to if it didn't work out. Like, I always knew, like, whatever you experience you have. It's not like you Cannot go back. You might have to have a bridge. Maybe there's a time where your corporate job is a dream funder while you work a side gig until you're ready to go full time. But. But just being in it, even if you're doing it side by side with your dream funder job, is. You're living it. And it's so such a different feeling than. Than just sitting there going, I want to start one day. I want to start one day. And you wake and you're just. Every year that goes by, it's New Year's Day, and you're like, what did I do last year? I. I could. I said I was going to make a change this year, and I didn't. And you're only disappointing yourself. And when we do that, we lower our confidence and our. At each time we say no to ourself, we lower our confidence to be able to say yes to ourself the next time. So it's. You just do it. Just do it. As they say, Nike says. And it really is. It's. It is uncomfortable, but it's the most beautiful discomfort you'll ever feel. It is the most beautiful transformation, personally, that you'll ever feel. Go for going for your dreams. It's a psychological transformation that happens when you do that. It's not just about you moving to another place in the physical world and being in another job or another career. It's about you psychologically transitioning and transforming yourself into someone who's more aligned with their soul and their purpose.
- [47:46]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Beautiful thing it is.
- [47:50]
Deborah Maldonado
All right, well, we will see you next week on another episode. I want to leave with you is take Take one action this week that makes you a little scared, even if it's just researching something that you want to seek your purpose. I hope this inspires you if you are standing at the edge of that water already or if you aren't even aware that you have a purpose yet, maybe it's starting to bubble up and it's starting to. You're starting to feel it and say, this makes a lot of sense. And Robin, I can attest. The water's warm. Come on in. Beautiful place.
- [48:27]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Yeah.
- [48:28]
Deborah Maldonado
All right. Have a great week, everyone.
- [48:30]
Dr. Rob Maldonado
Thank you for listening. See you soon.
- [48:32]
Deborah Maldonado
Yeah, take care. Bye bye. Thank you for joining us for Young on Purpose this week. Don't forget to subscribe. And if you want more information on our work, go to creativemindlife.com we'll see you next week. Take care.