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Jeff Wittek
Probably just talk. Everybody. Shane Dawson, you probably go at, like, Jeffree star.
Trisha Paytas
No, we love people that you. I forgive all of them except for David.
Jeff Wittek
If you had rabies, you'd better. Oh, you think I'd go more Shane Dawson, you.
Trisha Paytas
That'd be crazy. If you had rabies, could you imagine? You want rabies?
Jeff Wittek
I might. That's probably why I act the way I do. Why doesn't he just. Why is he still saying, like, trying to act like he likes girls?
Trisha Paytas
Well, it's not even that, but it's just like he's talking about how many girls he gets and how many hookups he has.
Jeff Wittek
And I'm like, sounds like you're saying that because you're not. Test, test. Why don't I have this Sparkly. Isn't there usually some rhinestones on here? Is that true?
Trisha Paytas
No, it's not. It's just mine.
Jeff Wittek
What type of stuff is that? It is a misogynistic show. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Don't say that.
Jeff Wittek
No. Because you hate me.
Trisha Paytas
No.
Jeff Wittek
Are we rolling? Did we start yet? We started. What's the deal? I look on these like. Like, I'll search my name on. On Google. Every day. Right. You know how you.
Trisha Paytas
Probably every day.
Jeff Wittek
No, I'm kidding. But I searched something up and I saw, like, Trisha says, who was the worst, most awkward podcast guest of all time. And you said, me.
Trisha Paytas
We're very awkward together.
Jeff Wittek
What the. I love coming over here.
Trisha Paytas
I. Yeah, I enjoy it, and people like it.
Jeff Wittek
That sounded fake. I enjoy coming over here. I enjoy our relationship now at this time in our lives.
Trisha Paytas
Yes, I agree with it. But it is always awkward because for some reason, I don't mean to be this way. Right before we had lunch and was like, just be nice. And I was like, am I not nice? And I. For some reason, I get very defensive around you. And I get very, like, I. Aggressive.
Jeff Wittek
And I Never homophobic or something. I got more gays on my team than you. I.
Trisha Paytas
That's definitely not true. You do the.
Jeff Wittek
Do the math. You're straight. Your husband, he's not.
Trisha Paytas
He doesn't identify fully straight now.
Jeff Wittek
Are you serious? Is it true?
Trisha Paytas
Fluid.
Jeff Wittek
Good for you. Whatever it is, whatever you're comfortable with. Look, be yourself.
Trisha Paytas
But he's not fully straight.
Jeff Wittek
You don't hide anything. Don't.
Trisha Paytas
We don't have a fully straight on our team. We do not have one. We're fluid. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Actually not one that's tough to beat.
Trisha Paytas
Editor is Jimmy. Gay Oscar. Gay Devin on that line. Gay Oscar.
Jeff Wittek
My Oscar might be like, he Likes Bad Bunny.
Trisha Paytas
Give me one. Gay on your team.
Jeff Wittek
The lesbians that run my products, my partners, they're both lesbian.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, That's.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Well, one's my partner. One is just that she used to work at E Commerce for Sephora. So that's. I brought in the brains of the gays from Sephora's and stuff like that. So she's the partner behind the product line. My assistant. Ivan is my executive assistant. He likes to be called. Because he's not just no regular assistant. I don't need to tell him what to do. He figures out what I need done for my life. And he's the gayest, but the best assistant I could ever have. And who else is gay? That's it.
Trisha Paytas
Three.
Jeff Wittek
No. And my housekeeper. That's dope, right?
Trisha Paytas
But gay to straight ratio, gay white.
Jeff Wittek
Man older than me.
Trisha Paytas
That's crazy.
Jeff Wittek
No, no, no.
Trisha Paytas
Anyways.
Jeff Wittek
Anyway, he's like my dad. He's like my dad.
Trisha Paytas
That's crazy.
Jeff Wittek
No, I pay him. I don't even know how much he asked for. I'm just like. Just, you know. You run my bank account, too. He's also my housekeeper. Also does help me with some finances. He's like a really. All my. All my guys are overachievers. They should not be working for my crew.
Trisha Paytas
Do you want to bring him in?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. This is.
Trisha Paytas
This is new Nerf.
Jeff Wittek
New Nerf.
Trisha Paytas
So cute. You can move the pillow if you.
Jeff Wittek
Want a new pup. He kind of just sleeps everywhere.
Trisha Paytas
Hi. I'm. He's so cute. But I never know what to do with dogs. I'm always like, hi.
Jeff Wittek
You hold them just like you have babies. How do you not know what to do with.
Trisha Paytas
A dog is very different than a baby. Like, its body is bony, but you.
Jeff Wittek
Do anything with them. I could do this. Look. See? He's only 17 pounds.
Trisha Paytas
Are you so happy? How long has this been?
Jeff Wittek
It's been one month together. And at first I was like, holy. Why did I just get a dog? I'm going on tour in two weeks, and this is, like, pretty stupid, but I bring him everywhere. And he actually, he is like a little service dog companion. And I got this stuff for him through, like, a kind of sketchy way because I, like, got it done overnight. And, like, he's registered to every airline as a service animal. Yeah. And he's. He don't even know what the hell he's doing right now. He don't know where he is.
Trisha Paytas
He brings you comfort. I can tell you came in with him, and I could tell that you were just good and, like, happy. Because, you know, they'll know he's a service dog. Because I saw your eye and I was like, oh, my God. I don't think I've ever seen your eye in person. You know?
Jeff Wittek
And I was like, oh, he's my CI dog. Yeah. I can't. Do you tell people that, Goose? No. He don't know where to walk anyway. He follows me. Here, hold them. Why are you so scared of dogs?
Trisha Paytas
I don't know how to do it with one hand. Oh, my God.
Jeff Wittek
Just hold them any way you want. It's like me holding a baby. When I hold a baby, I hold them out like this. I'm like, I don't know how to do this.
Trisha Paytas
This is cute.
Jeff Wittek
But he's a soft little puppy, right?
Trisha Paytas
You know what? He's very tame for a puppy. Six months, you said he's very tame.
Jeff Wittek
I train him.
Trisha Paytas
You did yourself. Stop it. You did not. This is why you're the most awkward guest. I don't know what to cut, what to keep.
Jeff Wittek
I don't hit him. Is this so cute?
Trisha Paytas
We gotta get a picture together with him.
Jeff Wittek
Can I take a picture of this right now? Because it's beautiful. Sure.
Trisha Paytas
Do I look okay holding them?
Jeff Wittek
Kill it. For engagement. Like, you know how you have the babies for engagement? I'm just kidding. That's great. Yeah, Perfect. That's a great one.
Trisha Paytas
Are you snapping? Are you snapping it?
Jeff Wittek
No, I. Stop. I don't support them. Remember, blood money. I could take him because this looks so awkward.
Trisha Paytas
No, I love him. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know. Okay. He's so cute. No, he is so cute.
Jeff Wittek
Should I keep him for support? No.
Trisha Paytas
Whatever you want to do.
Jeff Wittek
Just.
Trisha Paytas
I mean, he's cute, but if he's nervous, if he stinks.
Jeff Wittek
He don't stink. Right? Does he stink now?
Trisha Paytas
But he said he's going to fart or something. I mean, fart babies. Fart babies. Poop. Doesn't matter.
Jeff Wittek
If he does blame it on me.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, anyways, back to this. Where were we going?
Jeff Wittek
Oh, I'm getting my life back together. I got a dog. They said, don't do it. And I was like, you know what? I'll get him an illegal service. Whatever. I got him a service dog pass. And now he's flying everywhere. He's loving it. He's out on tour. We hold him up like the Lion King to the audience and they go crazy.
Trisha Paytas
We do that with our babies, too.
Jeff Wittek
They love you at the shows?
Trisha Paytas
Oh, well, not the shows, but that's.
Jeff Wittek
Like sensory overload for them.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, we haven't brought them out yet. I would love to bring them out, but then what if they just start crying? It's like, all over Tik Tok. Just these babies just crying. Like, what is she doing? You know? But yeah, we keep them home.
Jeff Wittek
But yeah, yeah, but I.
Trisha Paytas
No sensory overload for this baby.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, no, he just chills. He's really chill. Like, he'll just chill this whole podcast like this.
Trisha Paytas
Wow. Wait.
Jeff Wittek
Which is odd for a puppy, you know? And I told you, he was given to me by a fan. Liz, she's just like, somebody who's been watching me for a long time, and she sees, like, you know, the stuff that I'm talking about on the. On the podcast. And she was like, yeah, you seem like you're going through it. So I just, like, I had this extra Frenchie, and I want you to have him because I know you had Nerf, and, you know, I just want him to be loved and go to a home, that he's gonna have, like, a good life, you know?
Trisha Paytas
And you, like, love your dogs, right?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, I would. She. I'll take him to Vegas. I order them room service. Filet mignon. Get him or like a T bone steak. And they chew on the bone for the whole week.
Trisha Paytas
And how long has it been since the Nerve passed away?
Jeff Wittek
About. What is it, a year? Time flies.
Trisha Paytas
Two.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Two years. Yeah. But it's a good time. I'm ready. I'm like, all about it now. I don't know. A month in, I was like, make the wrong decision. But now I'm like, with it with the new puppy. Yeah, because a lot with the training and stuff, but now he's good.
Trisha Paytas
So you trained. So you've been on tour training, and the eye surgery was when I.
Jeff Wittek
Surgery was three months ago. It's still up a little bit Easy.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. If you need to put your sunglass on, you can. I just was saying it looks fine too. I just have never seen your eye up close. I don't think. I think you've always had glasses on in this show.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it is nice. Just because it's brightest.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. No, put them on.
Jeff Wittek
Is that for makeup that it's so bright?
Trisha Paytas
It's from me being old.
Jeff Wittek
Too bright for me.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, no. Do you have now lighting in yours? My biggest fear is going on a male podcast with no lighting. That's why I'm like, the worst.
Jeff Wittek
I like to keep it dark and Then we just put the spotlight on the guests. So we'll put the spotlight on you today. It's gonna be fun getting you in my studio.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, I'm very exc. We're journeying over to Hollywood to do Jeff FM after this, which is exciting because it's close to where we had our Starbucks run in.
Jeff Wittek
I would love to take you back to Starbucks and just get a coffee there and sit down together and just have a little.
Trisha Paytas
Have a good memory there.
Jeff Wittek
At a coffee shop. You have great convos at a coffee shop. Do you ever just go sit down with somebody at a coffee shop for a meeting?
Trisha Paytas
No.
Jeff Wittek
Me neither.
Trisha Paytas
Let's do it the first time.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. No phones taken out. Let's just sit there and lock eye contact the whole time, sip coffee and just have a good old conversation about where we see ourselves in the future.
Trisha Paytas
Well, we're doing that now. We're doing that again at your podcast. I feel like we just need coffee and we'll be caught up. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, that's true.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, so where do we even begin? I guess tour is the fun part.
Jeff Wittek
Tour is going so fun.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, this is crazy. So how did you come up with tour? Did someone approach you or you're like, I want to go on tour.
Jeff Wittek
At first Tana was like, I want to do this podcast with you. I want to tour, I want to do all this stuff. And I was like, yo, Tana, slow down. This is too much for me. I'm like having a panic attack in my head. And then she, like, just, you know, decided, like, let's just get canceled going and we'll like decide later on.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, how long ago was this that she had this conversation?
Jeff Wittek
Well, we were gonna cancel before she toured. I was thinking about going on tour with her and I was just like, little. I wasn't really feeling myself these past couple years. So that's like a big jump into. I look at the tour as like, oh, this is almost like stand up. And I figured that's the, like, trajectory my career would take one day. But I am like a little, like, scared to jump right into it because I didn't really ever practice it. But when you go out there and you're talking to your audience, yeah, it's like you're just around with your friends. So I'm just having fun out there. Like, I was so intimidated by taking on a whole tour. Cuz I have days where I wake up and like, my eyes swollen or hurts, and I'm like, everything, guys, I can't do going out of the house. The podcast. Cancel it. Push his neck this week. And they're like, it's Trisha. We can't cancel. I'm like, I don't care. Do it in six months, you know, whenever she's free again. So I just.
Trisha Paytas
Schedules are hard to line up both of us. This is our only day together.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Yeah, it is. But I'm grateful and I'm just, you know, like, I'm at a good spot finally, like, this touring, seeing people in real life and like, actually just getting comfortable on stage because I was not comfortable on stage at all. Even when I was like, in the old days, when I was with the old guy that used to know, do.
Trisha Paytas
You guys tour together?
Jeff Wittek
I would go around with him and I'd see him do it. I'd be like, wow, this is so impressive that he. He could do like a comedy show, right? And he seemed so nervous before in the background, he'd be like, like backstage, he'd be like, I don't know what the doing. Like, this sucks every time. And I'm like, is it like this every time for comedians? And he's like, yeah, it is.
Trisha Paytas
Oh. And then I'm speaking for all comedians.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. So I was like. He was like, yeah, all comedians do this before. And then I went on. On, like our tour. And Kyle, you see me before, I'm like, this. Who gives a. This is fun.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. I don't know if that's like a fair statement for all comedians. I mean, most people I know, I.
Jeff Wittek
Don'T have like a fully scripted set where it's like, I need to remember every line. So I'm not nervous about that because I do have stories that I like, go to, stories that I tell. Like, this one's a five minute story. This will fill up that much time that we need. But a lot of the stuff we just rehearse will make up the show. After the meet and greet, we have like an hour. So we'll come up with bits and, like, if there's like any props required or anything, because I'm with my crew also.
Trisha Paytas
Wait, so every show's different?
Jeff Wittek
Have you ever seen Jeff ffm?
Trisha Paytas
I mean, the podcast.
Jeff Wittek
Every show is different. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Wait, but that's never how anyone does. Everyone even cancelled has the same stories, same thing. Like, every show's the same.
Jeff Wittek
Well, we have some of the same stories. There's like two or three stories that are like five minutes long that are the same, but a lot of them are improv bits that can't be redone the same ever.
Trisha Paytas
So every time after a meet and greet, you're like, okay, let's think of the show. Yeah, yeah, that's the great.
Jeff Wittek
I've never heard anyone do that. It's like south park when they have a week to make the show. It's like, we got one hour. Let's make the show right now. And I got a good group of creative young minds with me back there. Like, even Kyle's 25, but, like, Ryan is around 25 or whatever. They're all like, you know, mid-20s guys, and, you know, they just like to around. They'll have a couple beers. I'll just be, you know, the leader. I make sure everything's running smooth and so does Kyle a bit. But, like, we have this younger kid, Nick, who he, like. Should I say, like, oh, my God, she might not like that. No, but you're like, the Johnny Knoxville of this. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Censored. I promise I'll cut it. What were you gonna say?
Jeff Wittek
Got it. You could edit it out, but it's just, like, wild. Like you. I would never do that because I'm up there. Like, I could never think, like, I'm in front of, you know, this many hundred people. The eyes are. Eyeballs aren't on him. He's off to the side and, like, a little.
Trisha Paytas
Which is surprising. Okay. Because you were saying Johnny Knoxville and that kind of stuff. It sounds very like, bro. But I was looking at your, like, clips from your live show and your meet and greets, and it's like, a lot of females.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it's not bro y.
Trisha Paytas
So what? Like, why don't you cater your show a little more to the female gaze?
Jeff Wittek
It is to the female gaze.
Trisha Paytas
Are you going to have him tonight at your podcast? I hate a soundbite. I hate a sound bite. That is crazy. Whenever someone's just like, you have trauma.
Jeff Wittek
I gotta respect your trauma.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, yeah, I hate a sound bite. When people do those in podcasts, I'm like, what?
Jeff Wittek
Well, that's the whole reason I wanted to get you down to my studio.
Trisha Paytas
For the sound bite.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, because the sound bites are what makes it that type of show. We have callers, we, like, do a bunch of wacky stuff. Like, even on the tour, we'll have callers call in, you screen them. Yeah, they're not live.
Trisha Paytas
They're not just random cold callers.
Jeff Wittek
No, we'll call, like, Tana if there's, like, an option to call Tanner.
Trisha Paytas
She's great. I called her in Atlanta this on Sunday, and She answers right away. She didn't know I was gonna call her. And she answered. And I'm like, what? I would never. If anyone facetimes me, I'm never answering. She answered right away. And it was so sweet on stage. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
That's insane.
Trisha Paytas
She was so, so. Well, it was a meet, and greet, and they. And everyone had, like, cancels. A lot of people had, like, canceled merch on. So there was, like, a lot of Tana fans. And I usually would never. I never FaceTime Tana, but she answered right away, and she was so sweet, and she answered questions for them.
Jeff Wittek
That is Tana, though. She would do that.
Trisha Paytas
So nice.
Jeff Wittek
I know she has done it. When I called her one time, I was live, and she was live at a show, and we wanted to set it up with a venue. Couldn't get, like, the wi Fi wasn't good enough, so she just sent in a video. But we were trying to call from show to show.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, my God. Did it work?
Jeff Wittek
Let's just tour together at that point, you know, like, I'll open up and I'll have the smaller audience, and then she could have a fill out later on, you know.
Trisha Paytas
Don't underestimate your audience. Cause I was telling you over the weekend, I was in the South. I was like, texas, Atlanta, and I guess it's spring break this week. And there was a bunch of, like, bros. Not a bunch. I'll say four bros that came up to me, and they were like, huge fan of Jeff. Like, can I get a picture? I was just like, that's crazy. And then they were like, say hi to Jeff. And another person came up to me and said the same thing. Like, I don't need a picture, but just tell Jeff I love him. Like, it was.
Jeff Wittek
Where was this?
Trisha Paytas
This was from Houston to Atlanta and then Dallas to Houston.
Jeff Wittek
Damn.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, but they were. I've never had. I don't leave my house much. But it was. It was a shock, actually, to hear that because I just, you know, usually come up for someone else's behalf.
Jeff Wittek
It's either the gaze and that community from you guys. And look, I'm just diverse. You know, I cut hair in a barbershop, cut any type of ethnicity, race, different type of hairstyle for the girls.
Trisha Paytas
That come to your show. Since there is so many. What is in it for the girls? Like, what do you bring for them?
Jeff Wittek
A very entertaining, genuine, real show with live, you know, improv jokes. It's not all fake and scripted. Like, if you do come to a couple of shows, you you'll hear a couple of the same stories, but it's really interactive. We have a lot of stuff where we, like. We'll do bits with the crowd and.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, you do crowd work?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Matt Rife over here, just talking to people and.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, well, I didn't think I was gonna be a comedian. Comedian. Like, I was always scared of that. But fuck it, you know, I don't. I don't care to be the best at. As long as I'm just having fun. Like, this is what has been, like, laid on my plate right now, and this opportunity, and I'm just trying it, and it's so much fun. And I can't really do the barbershop show right now because my eyes still healing, and that's like, what I would be here doing. And since I can't do it, if I was just here mad about that, I'd be depressed.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
But since I put so much work on my plate and so many. So much traveling, and I'm just saying yes to a lot of things I would say no to in the past four years. And I don't even have time to be sad. I'm just keeping it. Keeping it just super busy.
Trisha Paytas
So you're feeling good?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, feeling great.
Trisha Paytas
And you're traveling. How many cities is your tour?
Jeff Wittek
15.
Trisha Paytas
How many have you done?
Jeff Wittek
Four.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, so you have. Okay, so you're, like, getting through.
Jeff Wittek
But I feel like I've been doing comedy for 20 years already.
Trisha Paytas
Wait, really?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. When I go on stage, like the first 10 minutes, it's just me and just like, bullshit about the town we're in or whatever, and it's just so fun.
Trisha Paytas
And do you just make that up off the cuff, too? Just whatever time you're in, the day.
Jeff Wittek
Of the flight or the. Like I said after that meet and greet. I usually tell the meet and greet. I'm like, look, I'll sit here and talk to you guys for hours, but I gotta go make the show because we don't have a show yet.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
And they're like, you're crazy. But I'm being serious. Like, we're bringing her out back there.
Trisha Paytas
How many do you meet with at the shows? Like, how many meet and greets you do? Do you know?
Jeff Wittek
I top it off at 50 for the meet and greets because it's just. I'll. I'll talk too much.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, I get the same way, too. Yeah, we have 75, but it's like a good amount because I did a tour where I met everybody, like 300 people. And it was just like, chaos because obviously, just, like, run through everyone so you have time to talk to people.
Jeff Wittek
300?
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. Like, after a show. I want to do a noon show.
Jeff Wittek
Sounds like you need some, like, drug. It's just like, performance enhancing drugs like Adderall or something to run through those. I've never taken Adderall in my life, but I feel like that would be a.
Trisha Paytas
You have it. I know. Everyone keeps talking about Adderall. It kind of sounds like a good thing, I think. I like it. It makes you, like, skinny. It makes you focused.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, well, there's plenty of things that'll make you skinny now. That's Ozempic pens. Stab those up.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. What do you think about that?
Jeff Wittek
I think it's good for people, you know, I think.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
You know, now. But also now everybody's skinny.
Trisha Paytas
So, like, everyone's skinny.
Jeff Wittek
What the is it?
Trisha Paytas
I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't pregnant. I'd be doing that.
Jeff Wittek
Fat's a new wave. I think fattening up is probably going to be the new.
Trisha Paytas
I'm ahead of the curve again. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. I'm catching up. I'm beefing up.
Trisha Paytas
No, you're not. That's crazy.
Jeff Wittek
I put on £15 for surgery.
Trisha Paytas
Well, I mean, you can't.
Jeff Wittek
To my face, it all goes in my cheeks.
Trisha Paytas
It looks good. You know what, though? You look good with, like, some weight, because I think when you're, like, really, like, ripped and stuff, you have that more of a gaunt face. I like it a little fuller. It actually looks like you have some filler.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Which people want, you know, they pay for that. So it looks kind of good.
Jeff Wittek
All right.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. And even your eye, like, at first I was like, oh, wow. You know, but it, like, it does look deformed.
Jeff Wittek
Well, crippled.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. I guess. I didn't know. I just.
Jeff Wittek
You gave me a real, like. Like a lot of pity when I first came in. I was like, almost like, no, you don't have to do that. I'm good.
Trisha Paytas
No, because you know what it is, is I think you put on such. And, you know, people you see on you on camera. Right. And on camera, it doesn't look bad. And then you hear people like, oh, my God, he's dragging it out. And then you start thinking, yeah, he's dragging it out. But then you see it in person. You're just like, holy. Like, it's.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, God damn.
Trisha Paytas
But not in a bad way.
Jeff Wittek
It's just like, well, that's the same effect. We're trying to do with the documentary? Yeah, yeah. I mean, in the morning it's a little puffier than when it's like, let me see.
Trisha Paytas
Can I see? Yeah, it's, I think because this eye and it's almost like I don't know which eye to look at, you know?
Jeff Wittek
This one's pushed in more a little. You see?
Trisha Paytas
And why is that and what. It's like it's. It's folded more. Like, why is it pushed back?
Jeff Wittek
There's. There's a swollen still up here from the surgery they did behind it. They went behind the eyeball. So there's a lot of.
Trisha Paytas
You're awake now? No, like during the surgery?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. No, no, no. I'm out.
Trisha Paytas
How do they get underneath? How do they get behind there?
Jeff Wittek
I can't even put on a contact. Imagine him trying to do surgery with me.
Trisha Paytas
No way before the eye incident, you never could put it in a contact.
Jeff Wittek
I was like weird with touching my eyes.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, same. I can never do contacts. I can't see.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at you now.
Trisha Paytas
I really can't see. Everything's blurry. I have to wear glasses too, but that's. So when you're asleep, they just go behind. Like, how do they get in there, though? Thank you so much to the sponsor. Today's episode Kickoff. This is one of my favorite sponsors because you all know I struggled with my credit. I ruined my credit in my early 20s. If you've also been someone who had too much Fun in your 20s, this may be fun for you. Kickoff is the number one credit building app in the app store and plans are at just $5 a month. No credit check, no hidden fees and no interest. If you're saving up for a big purchase like a homework car and need to build credit fast, Kickoff can help. And credit is important. You may think, oh, I don't have any credit cards or any debts. And sometimes that's not good because then you have no credit. Companies a lot of times want to see that you have been making payments and paying them efficiently. Now there's some times that where I just didn't even make a payment. There's sometimes I forgot to make a payment. If your credit is under 600, you could jump like 28 points in your first month. Kickoff is a smart, legit credit HAC with no catch, no credit check, no hidden fees and no interest. It's simple. You make on time payments. Credit bureau. See? Good behavior and your credit grows fast. It's easy and affordable and effective. Start building credit immediately for only $1 on your first month with autopay, you never have to worry about missing a payment so you can build credit in your sleep. And this is so important. Oh, my gosh. Once I put things on autopay, it changed my life because there were times I had the money and I simply forgot. Sometimes you don't get it in the mail, sometimes you don't check, sometimes you don't remember. It's simple. Sign up in minutes from your phone. No credit. Check and cancel anytime. Kickoff is the number one credit building app out there. It has over 100,000 positive reviews on the App Store and 98% are five stars. That is quite amazing. So if you need to build your credit and build it fast, building credit can happen faster than you expect. With Kickoff, don't wait. Get your first month for just a dollar at getkickoff.com/trish. That's kickoff without the C. Get 80% off at get K I K O F F.com/trish. Must sign up via getkickoff.com/trash to activate offer. Offer applies to new month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply. Points are based on Equifax Vantage Score 3.0. Changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside Kickoff could have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Thank you so much, Kickoff, for sponsoring this episode. As you guys know, this is a very near and dear one to me because I struggled with credit and good credit can take you very far. So get Kickoff today.
Jeff Wittek
They push the eyeball down and then they go like they put like a spoon and then they have like some like fork looking things and like, like some forks and knives, they go behind it. I'm asleep. Well, but I mean, Kyle, you watched it. You filmed it for the documentary film inside. Yeah, they allowed us to film. Didn't you see the documentary?
Trisha Paytas
I did watch. I was watching, but I didn't see that part. I did kind of because it. Oh, the first. I watched the second one, I think the one that just came out.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, you missed our crazy surgery.
Trisha Paytas
I don't think I could watch it when people show surgeries. I didn't see it.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, and there's a uncensored one on members and Patreon.
Trisha Paytas
I'm still your patron, by the way. It still tells me a Jeff censored one watch.
Jeff Wittek
Because it's like the lyrics go with the surgery. So it's like when the blood's dripping down, it's like, you know, like, it's just. You got to watch Uncensored 1.
Trisha Paytas
Have you watched it?
Jeff Wittek
We edited together.
Trisha Paytas
You did yourself. You're not supposed to do that. You know, like, watch yourself getting surgery on.
Jeff Wittek
Well, I'm just, you know, like, if I was. It's weird. If I'm, like, acting and I know that I'm acting and I'm reciting lines, like, that's harder to watch for me than to watch myself just get chopped up. I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
Wow, that's. That's. Wow. That makes me. It's like.
Jeff Wittek
That's weird, huh? Maybe I gotta talk to a therapist about that part.
Trisha Paytas
You are in therapy?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. That's just therapy.
Trisha Paytas
Not this, but, like, with the actual therapist.
Jeff Wittek
You are a therapist. You've been. Look, believe it or not, you might think I joke about everything, and I got a weird, like, way of saying things. You don't know. What. What? I'm joking. But you've been the most helpful to me, the most empathetic, the most understanding of my problems. And, you know, everybody out there that says, I'm milking this, just having somebody like you that understands cancels that out. And that's why the title of the second episode was Milking the Cow. Because it's like all you mother on the first episode or on Twitter or TikTok when it gets clipped. And it's not my fans that are watching it and it's, like, getting pushed to them. They're like, oh, he's milking. He's milking. He's milking it. I just had surgery. I'm telling you guys why I'm not putting out barbershop episodes. I'm not monetizing it. There's no sponsors in it.
Trisha Paytas
You're not monetizing the.
Jeff Wittek
No, I put copyright music in it. I don't make any money on it. I just wanted it to tell a story, to get it off my chest. So all those milk and allegations, you guys are idiots. And that's why I just laugh at the comments now. That's why I titled it Milk and the Cow. And I put David's fat face, because without his Ozempic and whatever the hell you did. Cool, bro. You got in shape. That wasn't what we wanted from you. We wanted you to mature, grow up. And that's what my documentary was about. Me, mature and growing up, putting this stuff behind me. And now I'm on to the next thing. All the things that you guys hated about me or whatever. I've changed and I've just matured as a person now. I'm now looking to spend more time in New York, closer to my family. Open the barbershop over there. Looking at a house there. I'm going to buy a house next to my family and I'll have the Christmases and the Thanksgivings for my families there. And you know, I'm not. I didn't have a kid yet. Because you need a partner to do that. I don't have a partner yet.
Trisha Paytas
You don't need to. You could definitely do one by one.
Jeff Wittek
Well, I got the dog first and.
Trisha Paytas
Then you have time.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, yeah.
Trisha Paytas
You can have a kid at any age.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Well, not really, actually. Yeah. Al Pacino, 80 years old.
Trisha Paytas
Robert De Niro, I was like eight. Yeah. Moses is 46.
Jeff Wittek
19. What do you get 19 year old pregnant or something?
Trisha Paytas
What? Oh, Al Pacino. Yeah. I don't know if she was 19, but she was young. Yikes. Well, you're pretty.
Jeff Wittek
Who's your favorite gangster actor?
Trisha Paytas
I think we've talked about this before. I don't really watch those movies. I never really seen like Robert De Niro.
Jeff Wittek
I mean, if you look at the real Robert De Niro, he was never a gangster or any type of those characters that he portrayed in his films.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
You know, he's also, he like, he's actually. Well, he's like an activist. He's out there. He's like preaching in the street, like saying don't vote. Like he's like getting into politics now or he always was or whatever. I don't know. But it's just like the exact opposite of him just being like a good fella. Like they whack Jimmy. They got him.
Trisha Paytas
I've never seen those. When I seen him in is like Cape Fear like that one? Have you seen that one?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Kate Fear was a great movie.
Trisha Paytas
I liked it. And I think that those movies are like harmful because When I was 15, I wanted to date like a convict that was like 30 years old with tattoos, you know what I mean? Because she was like 14, I think Juliet Lewis in the movie.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
And when she had like sucking thumbs and I was like, oh, that's so hot. But then if you watch it back, you're like, ew. It's like. Or taxi drivers. The other one where he was with the prostitute.
Jeff Wittek
Real creep.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. But as a girl, you think that's what. Oh, that's. Who's gonna save me. I'm gonna find, you know, a 30 year old taxi driver with PTSD. Like, you really think that's, like, that's.
Jeff Wittek
What you were looking for?
Trisha Paytas
Oh, I wrote letters to Harvey Keitel when I was like 13 years old. Cuz I was like, he saved her. He was like, he was crushing her. He saved her, he took care of her. So I was like, that's what I want. And I was like obsessed with that. That's why I've always dated old men. And I was like, that's hardy Cartel.
Jeff Wittek
Looks like my dad.
Trisha Paytas
Really? He's hot. He was so hot.
Jeff Wittek
It's. It's wild. Thank you. Thanks to your, like closer to my age group. That's something that I couldn't talk about with like, you have no idea what Harvey Keitel is, so.
Trisha Paytas
I love it. Well, I do love him because I love. I've loved Quentin Tarantino movies. So he. I knew him from all those.
Jeff Wittek
That makes sense.
Trisha Paytas
And then I.
Jeff Wittek
Did you like Reservoir Dogs, like as a kid.
Trisha Paytas
I wonder if I watch it now if I would like it as like a young kid. I liked it because I was a little bit of a pick me. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
What about that part where it's like where he's like, he's got the cop tied up, his face is all bloody, and he puts on the song Stuck in the middle with you.
Trisha Paytas
Michael Madsen.
Jeff Wittek
Yes.
Trisha Paytas
I met Michael Madsen when I was 14 too because I also wanted to marry him. I was so obsessed with those guys.
Jeff Wittek
I thought he was the man growing up.
Trisha Paytas
Oh yeah. The second in the middle. Then he has a little ear and he's like.
Jeff Wittek
He's dancing.
Trisha Paytas
And I liked it, but I.
Jeff Wittek
The razor. And he cuts his ear off.
Trisha Paytas
Oh my God.
Jeff Wittek
And he's like, can you hear that? Into the ear. And then he flings the cops ear.
Trisha Paytas
I did like it as like a. When I was younger.
Jeff Wittek
So you like the gangster movies?
Trisha Paytas
I don't know if I would like it now. It kind of makes me a little nauseous thinking about it. But I did love it. But I don't know if I loved it or I just liked it to be cool. If I was trying to be like a cool girl, you know? But.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, but I think what I'm getting at is we have a lot more in common than you think. So to be called your least favorite episode or most awkward. Most awkward episode is like, what? You don't even know where that's been.
Trisha Paytas
So awkward from the beginning. I'm like, what do we cut? What do we keep. I'm thinking in my Head off.
Jeff Wittek
Even right now.
Trisha Paytas
No.
Jeff Wittek
Who cares?
Trisha Paytas
You're a three timer. Yeah. You're the. You're here three times. No other guest has been like that except for Tana. Yeah. You're actually our most. And you do very well. You always get over a million views on here, which is like ours don't always get a million views.
Jeff Wittek
Yay. Dry shampoo. I'm on tour. I can't see where the cameras are to point at, but yeah, we're on tour and it's great. It's the best show ever. We got a lot of good feedback from the show too, which is good. That gives me more confidence. It just makes me want to do more.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, because like, it's bad if someone goes like, oh, it wasn't really worth the money, like he didn't really do anything or whatever. But I see that your meet and greets at people are just like really excited that they met you.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Kiss everybody right on the lips. So I got vaccinated yesterday.
Trisha Paytas
You and. You and your dog both got vaccinated?
Jeff Wittek
Yep, my dog's.
Trisha Paytas
Did you get vaccinated? For what? For what?
Jeff Wittek
Kissing? No, I got. Just gave me like a hep. I had a checkup. They gave me a hepatitis shot vax.
Trisha Paytas
Is it still around? I didn't know.
Jeff Wittek
I don't know. I guess it was just time.
Trisha Paytas
What kind of hepatitis bc?
Jeff Wittek
B? I don't know. It's just like standard vaccinations for people. It wasn't.
Trisha Paytas
Well, there's so many.
Jeff Wittek
It wasn't the COVID one.
Trisha Paytas
There's a flu one.
Jeff Wittek
He got his rabies. So you. If he bites you, you don't get rabies. That's good because you just help him. You wouldn't.
Trisha Paytas
Well, he didn't bite me.
Jeff Wittek
Well, good thing. Well, he has a vaccine now. He's chill. I don't imagine you with rabies. If you had rabies, what happens? And you're out of your podcast. You're probably way more problematic, I guess.
Trisha Paytas
What happens? Do you die or.
Jeff Wittek
No, you probably just talk. Everybody. Shane Dawson, you probably go at like Jeffree star.
Trisha Paytas
No, we love people that you. I forgive all of them except for David.
Jeff Wittek
If you had rabies, you'd probably. Oh, you think I'd go more shaned off than you? That'd be crazy.
Trisha Paytas
If you had rabies, could you imagine me one rabies?
Jeff Wittek
I might. That's probably why I hacked the way I do.
Trisha Paytas
No, you're very chill and you're very mellow in real life, actually, so I think Like, I don't know. I think you have it.
Jeff Wittek
Thanks. Yeah, I am.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, so you're not monetizing back to that. You're not monetizing your documentary. I just don't understand why. Because at least you could get some money off.
Jeff Wittek
There's multiple reasons that, yeah, there should be a way to make money off of it, but no, there's somebody that should be paying for those things. It shouldn't be me starting to go fund me. It shouldn't be me starting a members only or Patreon to pay for my 90k surgeries. Yeah, I'm not gonna monetize to make money to put it there. That should come from. Everybody knows where that should come from. So, you know, we'll wait for that date for that to come up. I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I wanted to get this off my chest so that it was out there and I don't have to talk about it anymore. And people see. Why were you kind of, like, falling off for the past four months? Because you're not making content? Because I couldn't see. I couldn't do my favorite show that made me who I was. Like, I was getting 7 million, 8 million views on those barbershop episodes back in the day. You know, that was my bread and butter, and I want to get back to doing that. I bought a barbershop to do that. But my surgery didn't heal in time. I couldn't see in time. So now it's three months in, and I still own a barbershop. Not able to film in it. So I could sit here and dwell on the negatives. But there's also such a positive thing going on in my life right now, which is meeting my audience in real life and them giving me notes and, like, telling me that, you know, saved them or my story helped them. And it's, like, so much more healthier seeing that in real life than reading bull comments from people that are still fans of this psychopath. And they are idiots themselves. And I'm giving them time by reading their comments when I could just go around in real life to see real people who are smart and care about me. And I could give them a good time, make them have a fun night just by showing up. It's like the same thing with cutting hair. I was just always. I loved it because I was able to give somebody a haircut just with my skills and make them feel better about themselves through, like, me just fixing them up a little bit. And then they like, yeah, I feel good, you know, I look better.
Trisha Paytas
That's the best gift. Like getting your hair done. That's like the best. You just feel so good about yourself. It really is a good gift. Do you get upset when you see. I don't know if you follow him. I try not to, but, you know, I.
Jeff Wittek
Everything I see of him, I get upset. I try to block it all out.
Trisha Paytas
Tries to get the $200,000 watch, and he's just like, it's just $100,000. He goes, I don't care. 200,000, whatever. Do you ever get, like, pissed? Like, yeah, that could have covered all this.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. I get mad at the punch. I do push ups. I use it.
Trisha Paytas
I just. I get mad and I'm not even you, and I just get mad. I'm just like. That's actually insane. Like, just to be flaunting it when you're going through so much.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it gets me pissed off. But, like, what. What am I gonna do? I don't get pissed off. Like, I'm not gonna put David's picture on a thing and punch it, you know? Cuz, yeah, he's just like. I get nothing from beating him up.
Trisha Paytas
It's just like, how do you calm yourself?
Jeff Wittek
Punching and working out.
Trisha Paytas
Okay. Just like boxingers. Oh, working out. So you do work out.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, of course. Yeah. I just had to retain fat because the visceral fat around my eye, if I burn that off, I have to get surgery again. So I got to get another one. Like, retain enough, just enough fat that it, like, heals for now, and then in like six months, I'll get super leaned out again. Because I like feeling like that.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
You know, that's just how I like to live my life. Fast, agile, you know, skinny.
Trisha Paytas
After this, baby, I'm down to work out with you. I'm down.
Jeff Wittek
I've been asking for years.
Trisha Paytas
Well, I've been pregnant for years. Once I'm done being pregnant, I'm ready. This is it. My tubes are out after this. I'm gonna. I want to work out. I have a gym in my garage. We just haven't used it in so long, but we're gonna revamp it. I have a bunch of equipment.
Jeff Wittek
I'll come out here twice a week and film with you every day.
Trisha Paytas
Love. I would love. I'm so serious. Because I'm, like, ready. I've been. Yeah, I'm ready for it. And you are. You are inspiring that way too. I mean, I always thought your fitness stuff was so cool and, like, seeing people actually do it without the help of.
Jeff Wittek
But make it funny. You know, make it funny. Make it real. Like, let's tell the truth about our. Let's actually make a real documentary. Not saying that. Oh, I just gave you this protein powder and app and you got this way. No, we gave you Ozempic. We gave you the all the real shit. We did a crash diet at the end. We got you a spray tan. We photoshopped this picture. We did this. Let's do the real. And just make a entertaining fitness documentary because that was me. I was doing all those.
Trisha Paytas
That is.
Jeff Wittek
And everybody hated on me, making fun of me. Yo, go film a workout video. Go film a workout video. Now all you are copying my.
Trisha Paytas
But even the transformation videos, you were.
Jeff Wittek
Kind of doing everything. They know everybody who says, oh, they put you on, they made you. It's opposite way, guys. We made them. We did.
Trisha Paytas
Well, I don't know about me, but.
Jeff Wittek
I think we made them lose weight. We made them lose weight. We made you laugh. The fake laughs behind those were the other guys, not us.
Trisha Paytas
We'll be in the Hugo Boss campaigns with our. That's right, underwear.
Jeff Wittek
That's us. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Well, that's good. You have like a good.
Jeff Wittek
I love when people say we're the only two that are successful. You're by far way more successful. But I love that.
Trisha Paytas
True. You like always downplay yourself. Like people really love you and you're doing like you said your own barbershop. The tour, all that stuff is like really impressive. And yeah, everyone is on tour right now though. We have a lot of competition.
Jeff Wittek
You are like on some next level snl. And then like you're on the level now where you're like mocking yourself. You did that theater where you sang in front of the like just the mean Greek people and you pretended like. And you're like baiting the trolls to be like, ah, look, he fell off again. But you're like, no, yeah, I did this troll you. I'm this much smarter than you. I'm ten steps ahead. Yeah, I love, I love that, that you're. You're really smart, you know, intelligent creator and entertainer. And you're full blown. You're singing up there like I can never. Actually, I do sing. I sing the intro.
Trisha Paytas
Wait, what do you say? Can you sing a little for us?
Jeff Wittek
What do you say? I don't have my autotune box. I don't sing without auto tune.
Trisha Paytas
Well, sing. Yes you can.
Jeff Wittek
No, I can't. Trust me, I can't.
Trisha Paytas
Who do you listen to?
Jeff Wittek
I'VE not hit the button sometimes and it's come out without auto.
Trisha Paytas
Do you actually sing with auto tune on stage?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
You have a box that does it.
Jeff Wittek
Live voice changer and do different effects.
Trisha Paytas
And I would love to see you sing, actually. That could be part of your tour.
Jeff Wittek
Like DJs kind of like they're hitting sound bites and like, we'll get songs playing.
Trisha Paytas
Sound bites live is crazy. I would leave immediately.
Jeff Wittek
Like, out. You'd walk out of the venue and it's interactive. And then I'd call your peaceful. And then I'd be like, sit back down. And then you put a fart noise when you sit down.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, my God. Immediately canceled. Taking out all your episodes. We want to come. I think you're in San Diego. We're trying to find days. Are you in San Diego when.
Jeff Wittek
If you come, though. Yeah. I'm not going to let you just sit in that audience. April, folks.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, it's coming.
Jeff Wittek
I hope you know that if you come, I'm not just gonna let you sit in that audio.
Trisha Paytas
I'm not coming up with a sound box.
Jeff Wittek
You are coming up on that stage. Trust me. If you come. People, every meet and greet, there's at least five people that ask questions. When's Tana coming to a show? When's Trisha coming to a show? And I'm like, guys, I can't guarantee anything, but they'll be at every one of our next shows.
Trisha Paytas
Just keep coming.
Jeff Wittek
No, I feel bad because everybody's buying tickets to the New York one because they think that's. That's what I was saying Tana was going to go to. But then Tana just switched to say she's going to San Diego or one San Jose or one of those.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, yeah, she's. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
New York's a finale, so that'll be nice.
Trisha Paytas
When it.
Jeff Wittek
Is that June or when Pete Davidson's coming out to open up.
Trisha Paytas
Is that actually true?
Jeff Wittek
Mm. We went to high school together. Not. Yeah, I wish. Maybe. Who knows by then? Because every show gets bigger, we make more noise, and we're filming some of them, so maybe we'll get some viral clips. Maybe. You know, Pete Davidson and I, we got stuff to talk about. Both our parents are 9 11.
Trisha Paytas
What?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. No, but my mom survived. That's probably not a good topic to start with, but maybe I'll be like, yo, we're both from Staten Island.
Trisha Paytas
Okay. Right. But your mom actually was in 9 11.
Jeff Wittek
She made it out. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Holy. What did she do?
Jeff Wittek
Went down the stairs 44 flights okay.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know if this is a joke, this is a joke, or real.
Jeff Wittek
It's true.
Trisha Paytas
Your mom went down 44 flights in the 9 11.
Jeff Wittek
She held her heels in her hand, went down the stairs barefoot. Yeah. She saw the firefighters going up, so she probably saw Pete Davidson's father.
Trisha Paytas
Cut.
Jeff Wittek
That's crazy.
Trisha Paytas
I feel like this edit. Okay.
Jeff Wittek
Why can't it be real and tell a real story?
Trisha Paytas
I don't know.
Jeff Wittek
I'm telling the truth. This is a real story. I was 11 years old. I was in school. September 11th, plane flies into the building. I saw my mom go to work. We would take the same bus. And every. Everybody knows this story about Mr.
Trisha Paytas
I didn't know this. This is real. This is real.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not traumatized. I'm not, like, crying over it.
Trisha Paytas
That's crazy. Okay.
Jeff Wittek
No, she comes to the shows. We joke about it. I brought her on the show. What was the last show we did in Philly. He had brought her. She came to the show and I brought her on. I was like, 911, Survivor. And she. Yeah, she.
Trisha Paytas
She's been through a lot. In a way, it's like you're almost kind of, like, lucky, I guess. Like, you guys have a lot of luck because you went through some, like, crazy survived.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. But she's also like a paranoid old Italian woman, and she's always worried about me. So, like, I always like to call her and check in. Like, in the doc. You'll see me check in several times. Like, I survived surgery. Mom. I got a new dog. Mom. I'm not myself, you know?
Trisha Paytas
Wait, where are you going to? When are you in New York? June. What?
Jeff Wittek
May 30th is New York.
Trisha Paytas
What. And what venue are you playing?
Jeff Wittek
Gramercy, something.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, nice.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Gramercy.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, you have good theaters. Okay. That's amazing. Oh, my gosh. I know. People always expect to. I have a big New York when coming in la. We're doing the Greek and Radio City. And they're like, are you having guests? And I was like. Like, I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know people like that.
Jeff Wittek
I'm there whenever you want me to come through.
Trisha Paytas
I get a sing. I sing at my shows. You have to sing.
Jeff Wittek
I'll start lessons right now. No, auto tune lessons and.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, and then I wanted Hannah, too. She comes to the LA ones, but she'll be in on her tour. She's going to Europe. They're doing a European tour.
Jeff Wittek
Jealous, huh?
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, that's Pretty exciting. They have it all figured out.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Trisha Paytas
No, she has the blueprint and when I saw them go on tour, I was just like, oh, that looks kind of fun. And I was like, I want to go on.
Jeff Wittek
Damn. So she's gonna be there in the summer all the way? Yes.
Trisha Paytas
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Jeff Wittek
Oh, damn. I want to go there too. So bad because that's where my audience is. UK and Australia.
Trisha Paytas
Really?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. They like my dark sense of humor.
Trisha Paytas
You have a dark sense of humor? Yes, it's.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, those Brits and those Aussies, they like to say up.
Trisha Paytas
Right. It's gloomy over there. So I suppose they.
Jeff Wittek
It's not gloomy. Oh, it's gloomy in the uk.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know where Australia is, but I'm sure it's gloomy there too.
Jeff Wittek
Down at the bottom top the season switch. So when we're snowboarding and playing in the snow, they're at the beach surfing.
Trisha Paytas
I never been an Australian song, I think.
Jeff Wittek
Right.
Trisha Paytas
I have no idea.
Jeff Wittek
We need an Oscar for verify that.
Trisha Paytas
Where's your Oscar? I thought you were bringing your Oscar to.
Jeff Wittek
No, Kyle's here today.
Trisha Paytas
I like that you always have someone with you that's always nice to like help Caretaker.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, that's what our group. Our group chat's name Is Jeff's caretakers.
Trisha Paytas
How many caretakers are with you on tour?
Jeff Wittek
All of. I bring too much. I'm probably not even gonna make money from the tour.
Trisha Paytas
Me.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it's not. It's really, like, not about the money for me. It's not. I. I could do it. A DraftKings brand deal and make the whole tour and two Instagram videos, you know?
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
But, like, touring is a lot with the travel. It's. It drains you, and then it's. It's like you're tired. You don't have creativity if your brain's not fully recharged. So to come up with new ideas from new stories, new talk about, it's just. It's a lot. But I needed it to get, like, the steps I'm taking. Like, I. Like, I probably said this on the last one. We make a goal list. We have things that we want to get done, and I just focus on things that I could do one day at a time. Because, like, you think 15 shows. Holy. It's a lot, but it's just one show at a time. Come back, you got another day. Sleep. Do a podcast. It's just breathe a lot. I do a lot of breathing.
Trisha Paytas
Breathing techniques.
Jeff Wittek
Just breathing.
Trisha Paytas
I'm just breathing.
Jeff Wittek
Make sure you're always breathing.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Could take away a lot of stress.
Trisha Paytas
I love breathing. Sometimes I just breathe for an hour and that's it. Just, like, close my eyes and breathe.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, it's nice.
Trisha Paytas
Why did you do a plane tour, not a bus tour?
Jeff Wittek
Because I have to get back here to do during the week.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
And.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Just being out for. I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
I like the idea of doing it, like, all in one stretch, though. You know what I mean? Like, you could have been done with 15 shows in two weeks. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
Like, oh, like, you're doing, like, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, like, every night.
Trisha Paytas
Or show you did buses. Yeah. If you were doing a bus, you'd be out, like, every night, basically.
Jeff Wittek
I like that it's only the.
Trisha Paytas
The weekend.
Jeff Wittek
The weekends, and then, like, we have a break this weekend. We have off. So then so much stuff will go by that we'll have, like, new material for the show. Like we do if there's something going on in the news, like, say, like. Like Luigi Mangioni, the whole thing. Like, that's a bit in our show. Like, we have something to do with that. And, like, any new stuff politically. Or we could throw Elon Musk Pit in there if we go.
Trisha Paytas
You really are comedian, then, like, switching Your show up based on, like, the current climate?
Jeff Wittek
I got a good crew. We all help. It's not just me.
Trisha Paytas
So how many did you think? Just rough, you think? 10? 5. Like, how many people come with you?
Jeff Wittek
5.
Trisha Paytas
Wow.
Jeff Wittek
Cody comes along and he's. He's so funny. He's one of my funniest friends that I have. But he's not, like, genuinely, like, intentionally funny. He's unintentionally funny. That's a gold mine when you find that for somebody that's like a group of content creators. Because he says the craziest. He's the guy that was in jail for a long time with you. Yeah, we moved out here together to do crime, and he got arrested, and I became a famous celebrity.
Trisha Paytas
But when did you were arrested before or after him?
Jeff Wittek
I was. I was. We were just strictly dealers. He got arrested, went away, came out. I was famous vlogging him.
Trisha Paytas
So you both got arrested for.
Jeff Wittek
I just like to keep saying that. Yeah. I don't know. No, I didn't get arrested at that time. Oh, but he did.
Trisha Paytas
Could you talk about what you got arrested for? No, we don't. We don't have to include it.
Jeff Wittek
We weren't working together at that point.
Trisha Paytas
Okay.
Jeff Wittek
Because he had gone down a really bad path. He was spiraling, doing drugs and stealing, robbing all my friends. And people introduced him to people that, like, I would. We would buy and ship it to New York, and you could double your money on it. So we did that until it basically, like, burned out because was becoming legal. So we were squeezing every bit of money we could get out of that. So we'd ship it to whatever, barbershops or, like, you know, we'd have people over there. He'd be over there. But I got to a point where I was like, all right, I need to start making a decision here, because I was doing vine and haircuts and doing, like, vines of haircuts and, like, trying to figure out where, like, my career was going to go. I moved into 1600 vine to be, like, a trap house. We were sending pack packages there. I had, like, a conveyor belt of coming down, sealing up, sending it off. And then I come out in the hallway, and I think, I'll see King Batch on a hoverboard with a spongebob backpack. Like, yo, you want to be in this video real quick?
Trisha Paytas
You were doing fine. I didn't know that.
Jeff Wittek
I was basically just doing it to tell my mom, like, hey, this is where I'm making money now. I see you know, but I wasn't getting big brand deals.
Trisha Paytas
Did you know David back then?
Jeff Wittek
No, but I started making videos, and then we both got signed. Jack Reed.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, that was your manager, too?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. And then I met David at a Christmas party, and he was like. Like, the vlog squad was like, yo, who was this real? They were showing me, like, my barbershop video. They're like, is this real? Like, how you were like, Taylor Holder? Like, I was very, like, Eric Andre type. Like, what's his between two ferns? Zach Elephant actis. Like, I was very, like, backhanded. And you. You couldn't tell if the questions and the bits and the thing was set up.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
So they were all like, is this real? Like, how do you do that? You know?
Trisha Paytas
Oh, so you were, like, already kind of a thing before David found you?
Jeff Wittek
I guess they were trying to get to my little. You know, how do you do your. You know, how you guys do your stuff over there?
Trisha Paytas
And then why did you agree to just be a part of their stuff?
Jeff Wittek
I like Todd. Todd asked me to go boxing. He was like, yo, I saw you go boxing. Can you take me to a boxing gym with you? And I bonded a lot with Todd. And then David saw me. He's like, whoa, I got a Todd. But he's way funnier and way smarter and way more talented. No, I'm kidding. Todd. Todd.
Trisha Paytas
You're still friends with Todd?
Jeff Wittek
Nah, I'm not friends with nobody, but.
Trisha Paytas
But you're just trying to be.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, I just say whatever I want because I got nothing to hide, and I don't care about consequences, you know, like, if. If David was not a. Then he should have just me by now, you know? But I'm glad you're not like, if he was real. Come, bro, let's not.
Trisha Paytas
Who. Who's real? Who are you talking about?
Jeff Wittek
If you are really about your David, come finish a job.
Trisha Paytas
He wants to unalive you. I think he's just.
Jeff Wittek
Just. You think the guy that says it's only funny when people get hurt wasn't trying to get somebody hurt, you think?
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. No, I agree. No.
Jeff Wittek
You've seen the documentary of Casey's.
Trisha Paytas
No, because you won't send it to me.
Jeff Wittek
Well, my team won't let me have it because it's. They think I'm gonna leak it.
Trisha Paytas
Jeff's always like, you always send it to me. I'm like, yeah, send it to me. Sending me, and I'm always waiting.
Jeff Wittek
I can't. I can't. Because I. They. They're all Just like, yo, you're in.
Trisha Paytas
I'm not gonna leak it. You can't share it. Is that, like, illegal to share?
Jeff Wittek
We are the most least trusted by our own. First of all, are we in conservatorships? Are we Britney Spears?
Trisha Paytas
Not yet. I always worry about that.
Jeff Wittek
Am I Britney Spears? Why can't I handle my own laptop and hard drives?
Trisha Paytas
That is wild. Yeah, I was a little triggered by Casey on your podcast.
Jeff Wittek
Just you remember, you know who that guy is, you know, deep down inside. How was filming easy? Did you get it on one take? And then we'd say, oh, that's good. We got the shot. It's good enough. Or did you keep doing it until.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, you keep doing it.
Jeff Wittek
It's only funny until somebody gets hurt.
Trisha Paytas
It is wild. Yeah, that is crazy. And. But Casey not releasing the documentary that he did because of monetary reasons. He said no one wants to buy it, so he doesn't want to release it. And here you are just releasing.
Jeff Wittek
Just dropping more of them. There you go. I made another one, but I didn't talk about him. This one was about me. I didn't mention his name once.
Trisha Paytas
But when you did a good interview with Casey because you kind of confronted him about stuff. But why do you think he's not releasing it? Like, it's so confusing. Because on one hand, he's like, no one wants to buy it from me. And then on the other hand, it's like, are you protecting David? Like, it's just weird. Just put it out. You have a YouTube channel. Like, he's. He's popular on YouTube, so just put it out.
Jeff Wittek
Maybe it's not. Maybe nobody bought it. Maybe.
Trisha Paytas
But he can just put it out. He has a YouTube channel.
Jeff Wittek
What if the. What if the streaming services say, this isn't good enough? And this kid, nobody really gives about him anymore. So with Casey's or David is even that big of a story anymore.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, maybe it's not, but okay, you made this movie. You put effort into it.
Jeff Wittek
We're gonna make a fyre festival documentary again.
Trisha Paytas
You know, I think people would watch this David one if he put it out. Everybody would watch it because everyone wants to know. There's, like, clips that get leaked, and it's just like, damn.
Jeff Wittek
I think he's, like, washed up. Like, who cares? You know? Like, you're still doing the same. You're still giving away the cars.
Trisha Paytas
And what is the. Can you just say the status of where it is, like, legally in court of where you're like, is it.
Jeff Wittek
No, he's pushing as long as he can.
Trisha Paytas
So what. What's that mean? Like, who goes?
Jeff Wittek
If you have a lot of money, you can just make things go on forever.
Trisha Paytas
And are your lawyers still doing it pro bono?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
You're not paying for the lawyers right now?
Jeff Wittek
For now, no.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, good. I hope. I hope. Oh, God. I do really do pray that they just keep going with you, because, like you said, with, like, the money, people just, like, stretched out forever. But does he have. I guess he had a lot of money. I don't know.
Jeff Wittek
I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
I feel like. I don't know. He's doing the podcast again. So in my head, I'm like, of course he has money. I'm not saying he's, like, broke, but it's just like, why would you come back?
Jeff Wittek
But he's on the podcast on Spotify, so nobody could see his views.
Trisha Paytas
Right. But I'm sure. Do you think, like, they gave him.
Jeff Wittek
Views, ain't getting views.
Trisha Paytas
Right. But they probably gave him a cash deal. He probably needed some money. Otherwise, why would he come back if he didn't need the money? There's no reason for him say something.
Jeff Wittek
Real on that podcast. You know, like, that's the whole thing. Like, nobody's gonna listen to the podcast. They don't say anything real. They do it in different parts. They fly around and they'll do, like, five minutes here, and then if they don't like something, they redo it.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Imagine we just redid that part of the podcast.
Trisha Paytas
He has a rebrand now. I listened to at the beginning because I was like, there's nothing else to listen to. Then I had to stop. But he's rebranding now as, like, a. Like, a player. Like, he loves going to the strip clubs and picking up strippers and hooking up with girls. That's all he talks about is, like, all the girls he hooks up with at the Oscars and the Grammys and how they all come to his house. Like, he's a different, different person now. It's like, oh, wow.
Jeff Wittek
Why is he still saying, like, trying to act like he likes girls?
Trisha Paytas
Well, it's not even that, but it's just like, he's talking about how many girls he gets and how many hookups he has.
Jeff Wittek
And I'm like, sounds like you're saying that because you're not. And you have to make it look.
Trisha Paytas
Like I had to stop listening because it was boring. It was literally just like Natalie and her sister talking about random. I didn't.
Jeff Wittek
If you're a Guy that gets women. You usually don't talk.
Trisha Paytas
It's so interesting to listen to. I stopped. I was like, I'm done listening to this. But, yeah, I. He is boring at the end. Day. But anyway, so it's just caused. It's not really dropped or anything. It's just paused at the moment.
Jeff Wittek
Yep. But just funny views. Ain't getting views. It's just.
Trisha Paytas
I was on tour.
Jeff Wittek
I just wish you had sound bites, you know, so we could just sound.
Trisha Paytas
What would. Your sound bites.
Jeff Wittek
Ain't getting views. Views. Just.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, got it.
Jeff Wittek
I just have things. Sounds going off in my brain. Sorry.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, so your status lawsuit is just kind of paused.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.
Trisha Paytas
It's tax season, and we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's one.
Jeff Wittek
You need to hear.
Trisha Paytas
$16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year.
Jeff Wittek
Now, here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed.
Trisha Paytas
Save up to 40% your first year@lifelock.com.
Jeff Wittek
Podcast terms apply.
Trisha Paytas
Nothing more to go.
Jeff Wittek
What TV shows you been watching? There's nowhere to go.
Trisha Paytas
I can't.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, I love White Lotus.
Trisha Paytas
No, you're smart. You know what? I actually like that you don't talk white because it's actually smart. I love it.
Jeff Wittek
I'm just gonna get clipped and have people talking, saying, oh, he's still dragging this. Yeah, I'm still dragging. I'm gonna keep dragging.
Trisha Paytas
People see the status. If it's public, they'll see what he did and what you did. So it's out there. Love White Lotus. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. White Lotus is so good. Wal is my favorite.
Trisha Paytas
It is the rise of him again. That's all we talk about is him. I'm like, wait, he really. He's been around forever, but everyone just loves him now.
Jeff Wittek
And I love them in vice principals. You see that with. Go back and watch that. It's with him and Danny McBride. And Danny McBride works for the same crew on all his shows. And they're. They're both trying to compete for the principal spot, him and Danny McBride, but they're just. He's a sassy. Like, Walton Goggins. He's, like, trying to get the number one principal spot, but it's like an elementary school. Like, who gives about this status?
Trisha Paytas
What's it on?
Jeff Wittek
It's on hbo. Like, all the good on hbo. That's Sunday.
Trisha Paytas
Night New or it's older.
Jeff Wittek
It's older. But they did like three seasons. And then Kenny Powers also did. I mean, Danny McBride was Kenny Powers in Eastbound and Down. That show. I love. That was like one of my favorites.
Trisha Paytas
Like four seasons watching Righteous Gemstones.
Jeff Wittek
Righteous Gemstones is also that same crew. It's like that same group produces. They've produced Eastbound and Down, Vice Principals, Righteous Gemstones. And that's it.
Trisha Paytas
We just started that one. That one's pretty good. Because of Walter Hawkins. I'm like, I want to see more of him. Okay, I'll watch Vice Principals. He's so good.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, but yeah, he's so good. In Vice Principals, there's a scene where they destroy the replacement principle they put in and they go destroy your house. And accidentally. I don't want to give it away because it's just so funny. But they light the woman's house on fire.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, my.
Jeff Wittek
Like, it's just.
Trisha Paytas
Is it dark?
Jeff Wittek
It's just. It's a hilarious comedy. Those guys are the best.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, my God.
Jeff Wittek
Goggin. Somebody that I look at and I'm like, you know what? That's a cool old guy. I want to be like that guy when I get older.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, he's always been kind of cool. That's for sure. Would you get into acting?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, yeah.
Trisha Paytas
You've done acting? You said you did a movie or something.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, I did a movie.
Trisha Paytas
Is that out?
Jeff Wittek
No, it's with Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts.
Trisha Paytas
When is that coming out?
Jeff Wittek
Probably like it's on hold because one of the main actors, one of them got sick, so he's in the hospital. So we have to pick up a few shot scenes. But it's on hold. It'll come out on Paramount plus in probably like a year.
Trisha Paytas
It was a year old boxer. Wow. I remember you were saying you filmed that last year.
Jeff Wittek
I filmed part of it like six months ago.
Trisha Paytas
Wow.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, like four months ago. Six. Six or four.
Trisha Paytas
If you were checking into the White Lotus, what would your character be?
Jeff Wittek
Damn. Probably like like a. This season I'd probably be like a. Like a Jordan Belfort, like, wolf, Wall street character.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, that would be so interesting.
Jeff Wittek
Insider trading, like some sort of finance fraud, white collar crime guy.
Trisha Paytas
Wow. I picture you as like the Patrick Schwarzenegger character from this season.
Jeff Wittek
I could do that too. Yeah. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
That gives me the vibe, bro.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Milk boy.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. Like, wait, is this real?
Jeff Wittek
You want to get these chicks to his little brother? Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Would you. Would you kiss another guy who was supposed to be playing your brother? In the show.
Jeff Wittek
Acting like. Make like Peck. Yeah, yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Interesting, because they were saying the hype around this week's episode was, I've done any.
Jeff Wittek
My YouTube videos.
Trisha Paytas
Really?
Jeff Wittek
I made out with Steven.
Trisha Paytas
Steven?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
But he wasn't supposed to be your brother. I guess it's not.
Jeff Wittek
Doesn't matter. It's supposed to.
Trisha Paytas
Would you do full frontal?
Jeff Wittek
Tell my real brother, never kiss my real brother.
Trisha Paytas
Right, right. It's acting.
Jeff Wittek
Full frontal nudity.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. Like in White Lotus, they show a lot of acting.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Really? Because they do a lot of prosthetics. You would insist on being like, let me just be natural.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, no. I'd be like, throw a prosthetic on. Give me a something. So it's like. Yeah, I hate that.
Trisha Paytas
They should show it. Like, girls show all their stuff.
Jeff Wittek
They show girls never have prosthetic boobs on.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, never. Or the vulva. As Jason Isaacs from White Lotus.
Jeff Wittek
But what if they gave me, like, an uncircumcised one? And then like, when I'm with a girl in real life, then they're like, wait, you are circumcised?
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. So don't wear a prosthetic. That's the whole point. Then you just show.
Jeff Wittek
But I would like to have, like a trick, like a little fake out. You know, let me keep some privacy.
Trisha Paytas
I mean, whatever ever is comfortable. So you would do that with a fake?
Jeff Wittek
I want a circumcised. I want an uncircumcised prosthetic.
Trisha Paytas
Uncircumcised.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Yeah. Just because I've never lived that life. Are you circumcised?
Trisha Paytas
Oh, my God.
Jeff Wittek
Jewish.
Trisha Paytas
What does it mean?
Jeff Wittek
Jewish? So you get circumcised as a baby, or they do it when you're like 12 years old, against your will.
Trisha Paytas
12.
Jeff Wittek
What?
Trisha Paytas
What do you think? They just take. Okay. Ew. Okay. Wait, What? So, okay, is it me? No skin. There's no skin there. You're. You want to know? Skin? Penis. A prosthetic.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, well, I have. I'm uncircum. Sorry, Sorry. But I would like the opposite of whatever skin on it just to be like a little different, you know? And then. Okay, you know. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Well, if you go to Australia, I think they're all skinned up there. They'll have skin on it.
Jeff Wittek
What's the deal? Who makes these calls?
Trisha Paytas
Europe, too.
Jeff Wittek
Why did we start cutting babies in the beginning?
Trisha Paytas
I don't know.
Jeff Wittek
Come. At this point now, you get your kids circumcised, right?
Trisha Paytas
They are girls.
Jeff Wittek
They're all girls.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
So there's no. There's not like a spade like they do to do dogs.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know.
Jeff Wittek
Cause I gotta get. I gotta figure out if I'm gonna neuter Goose.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know if I would.
Jeff Wittek
And I look at that nut sack on him and I'm like, God damn, that's gonna. I gotta be the guy that makes a call to pull the plug and snip that thing. Yeah, those nuts off.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know if I could. Like, this next baby. We don't know the gender yet, but I'm like, if it was a boy, I don't know if I could.
Jeff Wittek
Well, you. You wouldn't snit. You wouldn't neuter your baby.
Trisha Paytas
Well, you snip them if you want at the age there.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, but they don't feel. I don't remember feeling it, and I've had it done.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, but even so, it's like you have to be there and watch it. Like, you have to be present.
Jeff Wittek
And I don't know if you have to.
Trisha Paytas
Well, I'm not gonna just let a doctor take it and do whatever.
Jeff Wittek
I think at that point, just a little piece of skin, you just.
Trisha Paytas
Okay, so there you go. And I'm sure your dog, too will be.
Jeff Wittek
But like a conscious 12 year old, like, that's wild, bro. I would convert. I would be like, I don't even.
Trisha Paytas
You know, your next documentary. Yeah, when's the next part drop for yours?
Jeff Wittek
Done onto tour vlogs and fun, silly stuff.
Trisha Paytas
I love it. And no more surgeries in the near future. None planned.
Jeff Wittek
I'm sure there will be, but I don't want to think about it and I don't want to do them. If I can postpone them, I will push them as long as I can because I'm about to just cave and wear an eye patch if it comes back to the point where I have to do it. Because I just, like, even right now, I'm out of, like, just now. I still have the bruising, but I'm like 90% healed and I'm already so much happier.
Trisha Paytas
Your vibe is so good this time around. Like, you know, I think last time I was, like, worried. I was like, oh, my God, is he okay?
Jeff Wittek
But, yeah, that's how you were when I came in. You were like. It's when I put sunglasses on that you're like, all right, you're better.
Trisha Paytas
The physicality, this just seeing your eye, I mean, it really looked damaged. Like, God, it's been years and it still looks horrible.
Jeff Wittek
Mornings, I. It's puffy and, like, the. And, like, the swelling, but there's, like, 7pm on fire. I'm like, perfect.
Trisha Paytas
Are you dating?
Jeff Wittek
And then, like, nine, ten. It's, like, sort of wonky. I'm like, all right, time to go to bed. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Are you dating?
Jeff Wittek
Nah.
Trisha Paytas
You haven't gone on any dates?
Jeff Wittek
Just tour life. But I don't hook up with fans.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. Smart.
Jeff Wittek
You know, I thought you were gonna say you should.
Trisha Paytas
No, I think the power dynamic is. Just kidding. Yeah. That's not a good thing. But you don't go on Tinder or any of those things. DMs.
Jeff Wittek
I have fake Tinder accounts. Oh. You know, somebody made a meme coin of me.
Trisha Paytas
What is it?
Jeff Wittek
Well, I mentioned in the documentary when I went to the barbershop. Okay, I'll save it. I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
We do have stuff to talk about, I guess.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. That's funny. That's good. That's good, Jeff. FM humor. All right. Host your show.
Trisha Paytas
What?
Jeff Wittek
Then you host your show.
Trisha Paytas
I host it right now.
Jeff Wittek
Yep.
Trisha Paytas
That's what I'm doing. That's what I was asking.
Jeff Wittek
What did I call her on the way here? The Crash Out Queen. Used to be the Crash Out Queen. That would be a cool name, though. Like, if you, like, crash out again.
Trisha Paytas
What's crashing, crashing out mean? I see this all the time.
Jeff Wittek
It's what the kids are saying.
Trisha Paytas
But what does that mean? Like a spiral crash out.
Jeff Wittek
Kanye's crashing out. He's putting SW on Twitter. He's crashing out. Fousey's crashing out, you know, all the time.
Trisha Paytas
But. But does that mean you just.
Jeff Wittek
Trish is on the floor in the kitchen. She's crashing out.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, got it. Got it.
Jeff Wittek
So I want. I want to see you crash out just one more time now that we're friends.
Trisha Paytas
That's wild.
Jeff Wittek
So I can text you and be like, hey, checking in on you. Saw you're crashing out.
Trisha Paytas
I don't think I'm gonna have a crash. I. I can't have a crash out.
Jeff Wittek
And then you make merch Crash Out Queen. And then you go on tour and sell out those. I'm sure the audience will love it.
Trisha Paytas
You give me motivation. Last time you were here, talking about how certain people made fun of me for not selling out my tours. So now I post after each show that I sell out every single time to, like, 3,000, 4,000 people. So I'm like, look at this. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
I love that you made that Video mocking yourself. And the old jokes that they said. Cause then you take that joke back. Now none of you can say. And that's why I said milking the cow in my documentary. Cause all the comments on the first one was like, he's still milking it it. And now I said, milk in the cow. Not one single milk in a joke. Because I took the joke from you. That's it.
Trisha Paytas
I am the stole it. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Now it's mine.
Trisha Paytas
Your jokes are funny. You've had some good ones, like your Pete Davidson and your, you know, that was. Those are pretty good jokes, actually. Have you reached out to him? You had a Pete Davidson one earlier about your mom. Like, oh, she is like, but mine survived. Or something like that. And I was like, oh, it's kind of like a joke. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
Oh, okay. I wasn't joking.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, well, it was a good joke.
Jeff Wittek
There was a joke I said one time about my mom. I was like, like, I was like, yeah, Pete Davidson and I, like, both our parents were 9, 11. But unfortunately, mine survived. Otherwise I would have had the career on snl.
Trisha Paytas
That's a good joke. I think that's a good joke. See, it was like half there. And I thought that was pretty good.
Jeff Wittek
I was like, you almost cut me off halfway through the punchline.
Trisha Paytas
Sorry. I was ready for the.
Jeff Wittek
I would have had a career on snl. Thanks, Mom. You know.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, because she survived.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Dark humor. That's why I got the Aussies in the uk.
Trisha Paytas
You know, speaking of Staten island, your Jeff's Barbershop. That's where it's at.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Okay.
Jeff Wittek
Go get a haircut. Jeff's Barbershop, Staten Island.
Trisha Paytas
How did you get that? Congrats.
Jeff Wittek
I've just been in that business my whole life, and I've had so many friends and barbers that I've worked with, and they've been like family to me. Working in the shop. Because when I worked in the shop, it was 12 hour days just cutting hair. And you're with those people more than you're with your own family.
Trisha Paytas
Is it like the movie?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. And I was like the young kid that had the in his locker and it fell out and they were like, yo, you got to get up off the streets.
Trisha Paytas
I've never seen that movie. Is that what it's about?
Jeff Wittek
Why'd you just ask me about it?
Trisha Paytas
Well, I know it's a popular movie. I didn't know that there were guns in it. I thought it was a comedy.
Jeff Wittek
Somebody in every movie.
Trisha Paytas
Well, not everybody.
Jeff Wittek
I Got a on me right now. Kidding. I mean, Cheeto Vera did it.
Trisha Paytas
Why?
Jeff Wittek
UFC fighter? No, I don't have a.
Trisha Paytas
Okay. So you opened this shop. It's been up open since December.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
And it's functioning. So every day someone can go and.
Jeff Wittek
Get haircuts every day it's open? Yes.
Trisha Paytas
And you know all the people that work there personally?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Trisha Paytas
And when are you. Are you ever there giving haircuts?
Jeff Wittek
Just there. I was just there. I just got a haircut two days ago.
Trisha Paytas
It does look nice. It's a good haircut. Yeah. Your hair always does look sharp.
Jeff Wittek
Thank you.
Trisha Paytas
Do you do shaves?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, I do any type of men's haircut or a women's. Like, shave. Yeah. Like special, specific haircuts I could give women. Trust me, I wish I could give women haircuts. Way more money in it. And I would much rather talk to women all day than guys or actually, I don't know.
Trisha Paytas
I don't think so. I feel like you're good. Like, your barbershop series was all men, and I feel like you're good at like. Like talking to them. Something I can't do.
Jeff Wittek
I'm kind of roasting them in that.
Trisha Paytas
Still in your barber shop now in your real life one.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, on the show, I'm giving them haircuts.
Trisha Paytas
If they come to your barber shop, they're not going to get roasted. They're going to.
Jeff Wittek
No. Well, that's just barbershop. That's barbershop culture, is to talk. And that's where that kind of came about. The whole being, like, you know, the structure of the show, the style of the show is like a barber shop talk, you know, like joking on each other. But it's a jungle in there, you know, you walk right in, it's just bright lights because you need bright lighting for to see the haircuts. And everybody's so close together and they're getting their haircut. Some people are vulnerable in their chairs. Some barbers are drunk, you know.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
Most barbers are alcoholics, you know.
Trisha Paytas
Oh. Like, they're this guy everywhere.
Jeff Wittek
Everywhere. Like, there should be this guy that. One of the funniest guys in the world. I won't say his name, but he loves drinking. And he would have his McDonald's, like, breakfast cup, and he would have it filled with Hennessy, and he would just be sipping Hennessy all day long. And given the best haircuts in the world. Like, he would be drunk, but just the best barber ever functioning one.
Trisha Paytas
So maybe it helps Them, in a way, could possibly need a little buzz.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
And you. Are you taking anything for your pain at all after the surgeries? Do you take any?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, that sucks. That, like, getting on pain meds, getting off pain meds, and, like, that stuff.
Trisha Paytas
But you're okay, though? You're dealing with it?
Jeff Wittek
I'm good. Yeah. This time, like, sometimes after surgeries, I went overboard a little, and I would, like, that would lead to being, like, more smoke and weed or more of, like, taking Klonopin or Xanax at one point. I was taking a lot last year because I was, like, really down and out. And no, now I'm like, I still prescribed as needed because I do get panic attacks, but most of that is around surgery time and, like, you know, just dealing with stuff. So now that I'm not gonna be talking about it and I'm just gonna be going out with my life and touring and doing new, fun stuff, I think I won't need it.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. It's so hard. I know. Every time after my C section, so I, like, never take it at home because I'm scared. I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm gonna go down that slope of just get addicted.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Back in the mental looney bin 2019.
Trisha Paytas
Last time I saw you before all this podcasting was done.
Jeff Wittek
Hey, I'll probably be there soon.
Trisha Paytas
No, you're doing. No, you're doing so well.
Jeff Wittek
We are the comeback queens.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're thriving, too. You have a new baby, too, and you're just, like, you're employing so many people on tour with you, making jobs. Girls and boys love you. Like, that's cool. Like, I saw the guy, the bros at the airport, and then I saw online all the girls that come out and support you, and I was like, that's no easy feat to have both of those audiences.
Jeff Wittek
I'm blessed that I have both sides. Yeah. I love it.
Trisha Paytas
You're gonna be the next.
Jeff Wittek
And the crowds at the shows are pretty. I mean, it's a little bit more women than men that come out in public to see me, but a lot of girls there were dragged there by the boyfriends, believe it or not.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, yeah. I definitely would believe it for sure. They're probably like, I don't know what I'm watching.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
And you bring your podcast set with you.
Jeff Wittek
We have, like, travel versions. Yeah. We have stuff that's, like, easy to carry around.
Trisha Paytas
And you're recording it or.
Jeff Wittek
No, no. Well, record some bits and pieces of it and maybe put it out in vlogs and stuff like that. But no, it's too much to record and then edit and post that too.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, It's a lot.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Your life back here, too.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. And it is a lot of it. Like. Like I said, like, 25 of it. 25 to 50 is maybe repeated stuff.
Trisha Paytas
But that's, like, not a lot. Like I said, my shows. I mean, I. I improv some stuff, but, like, everything's exactly the same. The same song, same outfits.
Jeff Wittek
So it's a little weird when people come to, like, two shows back to back. No.
Trisha Paytas
And people do. People come to, like. Someone came to three shows this weekend. They came from Houston, Dallas, Atlanta, and they come back and it's really cool. They just love it. It's just a vibe, you know, Dance and singing, all that stuff like that.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, well, yeah, you're dancing and singing.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah. It's a whole fun vibe. I really would love if you came out and sang. That'd be fun. You gotta think of a song. What music do you listen to that you would sing to? Then we'll wrap it up.
Jeff Wittek
I mean, just give me, like, Lose Yourself by Eminem.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, I did that in Detroit. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff Wittek
I mean, those lyrics I got memorized. I'm trying to think of something.
Trisha Paytas
Right next to the venue was Mama Spaghetti, his restaurant.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, damn. Did you go?
Trisha Paytas
We did go. It came in, like, little Chinese boxes.
Jeff Wittek
Oh, that's sick.
Trisha Paytas
It was pretty good. Yeah. I'm an Eminem fan.
Jeff Wittek
You were in the Eminem music video. Yeah. So that's. That's. I mean, I'm sure he still remembers you and love to.
Trisha Paytas
I don't know about that.
Jeff Wittek
But have you go to his restaurant. If he knew about it, you know.
Trisha Paytas
He didn't reach out after. But, yeah, and he said he were. And I try to think of a song of who was from there. Like, Seattle's like, Nirvana. Like, I just always try to think Atlanta was hard. I didn't know Atlanta. I did Usher, and they're all Gen Z. So no one knew the Usher song I was singing. I was like, oh, okay. They were just like, who sings it? I was like, ah, I don't know. It's Usher. So. Well, I would love to have you, if you come to one of my.
Jeff Wittek
I would love to be there, but.
Trisha Paytas
We'Re kind of touring at the same time. You're off this weekend. So am I. And then we go out next week. So I think we're just.
Jeff Wittek
I could cancel a show.
Trisha Paytas
No, no. And you haven't canceled, right? You haven't canceled any show because you said some days it's hard to get up out of bed with your eye. No, we've been good, and you haven't canceled.
Jeff Wittek
Things are good. Everything's good.
Trisha Paytas
It gives you the energy.
Jeff Wittek
Yep. Let's see how this episode contrasts to next year's episode of Jeff on Just Trish.
Trisha Paytas
Has it only been every year?
Jeff Wittek
Because it's been, like, some years we're in hell. We're deep, dark depression. This one, we were doing really good. And then maybe next year we'll be really even better.
Trisha Paytas
I'm manifesting. You come back, you're gonna have love in your life. You're gonna be on the next season of White Lotus, and you're like, thank you, Trisha. You manifest that.
Jeff Wittek
That'd be so sick. That'd be so sick. Manifest that because you make come true.
Trisha Paytas
I do. Lately, I've been very proud.
Jeff Wittek
I would love that. That'd be. And then I'll drop everything. YouTube. I don't care. No, I'll do YouTube still.
Trisha Paytas
What if they wrote a character who has a buy and you go, like, seek revenge on the person who up your eye or something?
Jeff Wittek
You should start riding for White Lotus. That's like, a good sign.
Trisha Paytas
A vlogger. That's like, in Japan. You're like, he's in Japan. I know exactly where he's at. You know what I mean?
Jeff Wittek
Damn, I wish it was Sunday.
Trisha Paytas
Everybody, base.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, I just want to watch the next episode anyways.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, did you watch this last one?
Jeff Wittek
Of course. Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
Crazy. The monologues are crazy, but all right. I can't wait to see you again next year. And I can't wait to see.
Jeff Wittek
To talk to you in an hour.
Trisha Paytas
Hour. Yeah, we'll buy a little traffic, but all right.
Jeff Wittek
Great.
Trisha Paytas
Dream guest on your podcast.
Jeff Wittek
Dream guest. Damn, this is hard. Kyle, who's my dream guest? Either? Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville.
Trisha Paytas
Johnny Knoxville. What's the lore behind that?
Jeff Wittek
Just because he was, like, the leader of a group that was like, the original YouTuber group, or, like, a OG and, like, just. He wasn't necessarily a, like, prankster that did the pranks. He was the main one, but he also went into a career of acting and was producing so many things and has just done so much, and he's just like a. Like, there's no scandals on him, you know, just a clean image. Good guy.
Trisha Paytas
Really?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, he's got a. You know, he's a family man now, and he's just. You know, he's done it. He's did it all and has a good life. And I'm just. I would be curious to talk to him, but I don't know, maybe not Johnny Knoxville. Like the dream, dream guest. It's just hard off top to be like, who's the number one right now? I don't know. It'd be cool to talk to, like, Brad Pitt, you know, he's kind of problematic. Or Walton Goggins.
Trisha Paytas
Yeah, that's a good one.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Walt Goggins would be sick. Yeah. He's just such a cool guy. Him or Danny McBride.
Trisha Paytas
He seems very, like, loyal to. To his wife, too, which I like. I'm like, oh, I love that.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah.
Trisha Paytas
And everything.
Jeff Wittek
And cut everything. I said before that if you want to edit anything, Walton Goggins is my dream. We can't cut it.
Trisha Paytas
We're trying to film the time. We can't cut it. That's what it was for the thing. Any music you're listening to right now.
Jeff Wittek
See, I listen to everything. Like I was listening to Bob Dylan 10 years ago, and now Kyle watched that movie with Timothy Chamolet Shamlet or whatever. Now he's like, oh, Bob Dylan's sick. I'm like, I've been playing this you for 10 years.
Trisha Paytas
The movie influenced you.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah. Now he's smoking cigarettes. It's like, you know, smoking cigarettes are cool.
Trisha Paytas
Okay.
Jeff Wittek
And Bob Dylan's always smoking cigarettes.
Trisha Paytas
I never watched it. I don't know anything about Bob Dylan, but I bet it would influence me too. When I watched what was the one with Rami Malek? I like that one. I was like, oh, I love this person. I forgot.
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, but Freddie Mercury, he didn't win the Oscar, though. Timmy. Timothy.
Trisha Paytas
Oh, oh, right. Yeah. Who won? Oh, yeah. Adrien Brody. Did you watch that one?
Jeff Wittek
Nah, I tried. It wasn't that good. Yeah, but Anora was.
Trisha Paytas
You watched that one?
Jeff Wittek
Yeah, loved it. Did you watch it?
Trisha Paytas
No, I haven't watched any of these. I only saw Wicked. I haven't seen it.
Jeff Wittek
Watch it. You'll love it. It's great. It's such a good, like, high paced, like, fun, like, girl movie. But she's like a hustler getting money, like, figuring out that. Figuring out how to finesse things and, like, she just makes her way to the top and. Yeah, yeah, it's really good. You'll love it. But. All right, let's go do art.
Trisha Paytas
Okay.
Jeff Wittek
Check us out on Jeff Femme.
Trisha Paytas
All right.
Jeff Wittek
It came out three weeks ago.
Trisha Paytas
Thanks for coming. Wait, can we bring what's his name? Goose is his name Goose. Wait. Bring Goose in so we can take a little final shot. Goose. Say goose. Goose.
Jeff Wittek
Goose. Goose.
Podcast Summary: "Jeff Wittek on Fatherhood, His Worst Eye Surgery Yet & Becoming an LGBT Icon"
Episode Release Date: April 8, 2025
Podcast: Just Trish
Hosts: Trisha Paytas and Jeff Wittek
In this engaging episode of Just Trish, host Trisha Paytas sits down with Jeff Wittek to delve deep into his personal and professional life. The conversation effortlessly transitions from light-hearted banter to profound discussions about fatherhood, health challenges, and his evolving role within the LGBT community.
Jeff introduces his new service dog, Goose, highlighting the positive impact the furry friend has had on his life post-surgery.
Jeff Wittek [04:02]: "He's a little service dog companion. And he don't even know what the hell he's doing right now. He don't know where he is."
Trisha observes how Goose has brought comfort to Jeff, especially during his healing process.
Trisha Paytas [04:27]: "He brings you comfort. I can tell you came in with him, and I could tell that you were just good and, like, happy."
Despite initial reservations about handling a puppy, Jeff shares how Goose has become an integral part of his daily routine, even accompanying him on tour.
Jeff discusses the inception of his tour, initially proposed by Tana, and his apprehensions about taking on such a venture.
Jeff Wittek [08:54]: "At first Tana was like, I want to do this podcast with you. I want to tour, I want to do all this stuff. And I was like, yo, Tana, slow down. This is too much for me."
He likens touring to stand-up comedy, emphasizing the improvisational nature of his performances.
Jeff Wittek [10:01]: "I look at the tour as like, oh, this is almost like stand up."
Jeff reveals the challenges of performing while recovering from eye surgery but remains optimistic about connecting with his audience in real life.
A significant portion of the episode revolves around Jeff's eye surgery, detailing the procedure and its aftermath.
Jeff Wittek [07:35]: "Surgery was three months ago. It's still up a little bit easy."
Trisha comments on the visible changes post-surgery, expressing concern but also acknowledging Jeff's resilience.
Trisha Paytas [07:49]: "I just have never seen your eye up close. I don't think you've ever had your eye in person."
Jeff candidly discusses the difficulties of the recovery process, including the physical changes and the emotional toll it took on him.
Jeff Wittek [19:33]: "But since I put so much work on my plate and so many... I'm just keeping it super busy."
He emphasizes the importance of staying active and connected to his audience as a means of healing.
Jeff transitions the conversation to his entrepreneurial side, discussing Jeff's Barbershop in Staten Island. He reflects on the significance of the barbershop culture and how it inspired content for his YouTube series.
Jeff Wittek [61:24]: "Go get a haircut. Jeff's Barbershop, Staten Island."
Trisha praises the establishment, noting its bustling atmosphere and Jeff's dedication to providing quality services.
Trisha Paytas [62:14]: "It does look nice. It's a good haircut."
Jeff elaborates on the daily operations, mentioning the diverse clientele and the camaraderie among the barbers.
The dialogue takes a serious turn as Jeff opens up about past legal troubles and his strained relationship with David, a figure associated with controversies.
Jeff Wittek [47:46]: "We are the most least trusted by our own."
Trisha probes into the reasons behind David's reluctance to release their joint documentary, highlighting the ongoing legal disputes.
Trisha Paytas [50:34]: "I hope they just keep going with you, because, like you said, with, like, the money, people just, like, stretched out forever."
Jeff expresses frustration over the financial burdens of legal battles, emphasizing his refusal to monetize the documentary for personal gain.
Jeff Wittek [48:25]: "We are the most least trusted by our own."
Jeff candidly discusses his struggles with mental health, particularly during his recovery period. He touches upon his previous dependency on medication and how his current busy schedule helps him maintain stability.
Jeff Wittek [64:08]: "Now I'm like, I still prescribe as needed because I do get panic attacks, but most of that is around surgery time and, like, you know, just dealing with stuff."
Trisha empathizes, sharing her own experiences with post-surgery anxiety and the fear of addiction.
Trisha Paytas [64:18]: "It's so hard. I know."
The conversation underscores the importance of mental well-being and the therapeutic role of staying active and connected.
As the episode nears its end, Jeff and Trisha discuss their future plans. Jeff envisions expanding his barbershop business and possibly delving into acting, highlighting his role in an upcoming movie with notable actors like Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts.
Jeff Wittek [53:14]: "Yeah, I did a movie. It's with Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts."
Trisha muses about Jeff's potential roles and his desire to balance his professional endeavors with personal life.
Trisha Paytas [70:02]: "He seems very loyal to his wife, too, which I like. I'm like, oh, I love that."
Jeff touches upon the dynamics of his tour, the interactions with his audience, and the continuous effort to create engaging content.
The episode wraps up on a hopeful note, with both hosts reflecting on their growth and the changes they've undergone. Jeff emphasizes the value of authentic connections over online interactions, appreciating the real-life feedback from his fans.
Jeff Wittek [30:08]: "I'm just keeping it super busy."
Trisha and Jeff express mutual admiration, reinforcing the theme of resilience and the pursuit of personal happiness despite past challenges.
Notable Quotes:
Jeff Wittek [04:02]: "He's a little service dog companion. And he don't even know what the hell he's doing right now. He don't know where he is."
Trisha Paytas [07:49]: "I just have never seen your eye up close. I don't think you've ever had your eye in person."
Jeff Wittek [47:46]: "We are the most least trusted by our own."
Jeff Wittek [64:08]: "Now I'm like, I still prescribe as needed because I do get panic attacks, but most of that is around surgery time and, like, you know, just dealing with stuff."
This episode of Just Trish offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Jeff Wittek's life, highlighting his battles, triumphs, and the unyielding spirit that drives him forward. Through candid conversations and heartfelt moments, Jeff and Trisha shed light on the complexities of fame, personal growth, and the importance of genuine human connections.
For more episodes, subscribe to Just Trish on YouTube.