36 Questions, 1 Podcast & 0 Filters

Summary

Podcast Summary: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Episode Title: 36 Questions, 1 Podcast & 0 Filters
Release Date: July 15, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and candid episode of Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter, titled "36 Questions, 1 Podcast & 0 Filters," hosts Kail and Becky delve deep into their personal lives, exploring the dynamics of their enduring friendship through the lens of the renowned "36 Questions to Fall in Love." Stripped of filters and adorned with genuine emotions, the episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the joys, challenges, and vulnerabilities of maintaining meaningful relationships in their 30s.

Setting the Stage

[01:31] Becky: "Good morning, good evening, good day, good night. Happy to have you guys here."

The episode kicks off with playful banter as Kail and Becky jest about their busy podcasting schedules, having recorded multiple episodes in a single day due to unexpected interruptions from their children. This light-hearted exchange sets a relaxed and relatable tone for the episode.

Engaging in the '36 Questions' to Deepen Friendship

[03:43] Becky: "With Becky’s infectious humor, Karma & Chaos is a refreshing, real, and relatable take on modern adulthood."

Deciding to embark on the "36 Questions to Fall in Love," Kail and Becky aim to test the strength and depth of their friendship. They approach each question with honesty, occasionally laced with humor, revealing layers of their personalities and shared history.

Question 1: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
[04:04] Kale: "Post Malone."
[04:37] Becky: "Michelle Obama."

Kail selects the contemporary artist Post Malone, highlighting a desire for vibrant and relaxed conversations, while Becky chooses the esteemed former First Lady Michelle Obama, aiming to engage in meaningful and intellectually stimulating dialogue.

Question 2: Would you like to be famous? In what way and why?
[04:53] Becky: "I would like to be famous for finding the cure for cancer."
[04:56] Kale: "I would not like to be famous. And I would like to be rich."

Becky expresses a noble aspiration to make a significant positive impact, whereas Kail prioritizes financial stability over fame, indicating differing personal values and motivations.

Personal Insights and Revelations

As the questions progress, both hosts share personal dreams and challenges, offering a window into their inner worlds.

Question on Retaining Mind or Body at 90:
[08:35] Becky: "Mind."
[08:44] Kale: "I'm gonna be so morbid."

Becky chooses to preserve her cognitive abilities, valuing mental sharpness over physical form, while Kail grapples with the morbid implications of aging, reflecting on personal fears and desires.

Question on Perfect Day:
[06:02] Kale: "The pool and a book and snacks."
[06:10] Becky: "Morning off with nine holes of golf, diner with loved ones, pool, pizza, movie night."

Their descriptions of a perfect day underscore their pursuit of relaxation, quality time with loved ones, and fulfilling personal interests, illustrating their approaches to balancing work, family, and personal well-being.

Emotional Moments and Vulnerability

The episode takes a poignant turn as Kail and Becky address deeper emotional topics, revealing vulnerabilities and shared experiences that have shaped their friendship.

Most Treasured Memories:
[28:06] Kale: "My mom cooked for me in ninth grade."
[29:29] Becky: "The days before my dad died and my engagement."

Kail reminisces about a rare moment of maternal care, while Becky shares the profound memories surrounding her father's passing and her engagement, highlighting the significance of familial bonds and life milestones.

Most Terrible Memories:
[30:08] Becky: "Anything about Kale's mom."
[30:09] Kale: Recounts a difficult childhood incident involving neglect and emotional turmoil.

These revelations offer a stark contrast between cherished moments and traumatic experiences, emphasizing the resilience required to navigate personal hardships.

Conclusion and Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, Kail and Becky reflect on the nature of their friendship, acknowledging both strengths and areas for growth.

[37:00] Kale: "My friends are my family because I don't have one."
[37:19] Becky: "Validation to make me feel secure... fuels me as a person."

They articulate the profound importance of friendship as a substitute for traditional family structures, and the role of love and affirmation in their emotional well-being.

Final Reflections on Friendship and Affection:
[36:37] Kale: "I don't want to talk about my feelings."
[37:07] Becky: "Friendship for me means having a community to allow yourself to take risks in life and enjoy life to the fullest because you have a support system to fall back on."

Their honest discussion about emotional expression and the foundational role of a supportive community encapsulates the essence of their relationship, balancing humor with heartfelt truth.

Notable Quotes

• Becky on Friendship:
  [26:35] Becky: "Presence and intention."

• Kail on Gratefulness:
  [16:38] Kale: "Grateful for the listeners of this podcast that allow me to pay my bills, to take care of my family, and give me the flexibility and structure to provide for my children."

• Becky on Regrets:
  [51:58] Becky: "I wear my heart on my sleeve."

• Kail on Balancing Private and Public Lives:
  [55:16] Kale: "How do I balance the private and public lives that I live."

Closing Thoughts

"36 Questions, 1 Podcast & 0 Filters" serves as a testament to Kail and Becky's enduring bond, characterized by authenticity, laughter, and mutual support. As they navigate through profound questions, they not only test the depth of their friendship but also celebrate the chaos and karma that shape their lives. This episode stands out as a compelling exploration of modern adulthood, highlighting the necessity of meaningful connections amidst life's unpredictabilities.

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For those who haven't listened yet, this episode offers a raw and unfiltered look into the lives of Kail and Becky, making it both relatable and inspiring. Whether you're seeking to strengthen your own friendships or simply enjoy authentic conversations, "36 Questions, 1 Podcast & 0 Filters" is a must-listen installment in the Karma & Chaos series.

Transcript

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[Becky]

Good morning, good evening, good day, good night. Happy to have you guys here.

[Kale]

What are the vibes today?

[Becky]

The vibes are third episode of the day we're recording. Just to let you guys know, we had a batch recorded because of child coming, so we needed to be prepared.

[Kale]

This is my fourth podcast of the day. And your third.

[Becky]

This is your fifth.

[Alessandra]

This is your fifth What?

[Kale]

No, no, this is my.

[Alessandra]

Her fourth of the day.

[Becky]

Her fifth of the day?

[Kale]

No, it's my fifth. Oh, yeah.

[Alessandra]

Why the. I forgot about Jody completely in my brain. That was. Never happened. No, literally never happened. Like it was gone.

[Kale]

Wait, I recorded five episodes today?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And y' all said I don't have a job.

[Alessandra]

Me.

[Kale]

No. Oh, the trolls.

[Alessandra]

I'm editing. Oh, come on.

[Kale]

Leave it in the Patreon exclusive.

[Becky]

The amount of times that there is the words. I'm editing that out.

[Kale]

That's not true. We. We do all of our episodes go right to life.

[Becky]

Every single episode. It is said at least twice. I'm editing that out.

[Kale]

What do you have on the list for me today?

[Becky]

I have nothing on the list today.

[Alessandra]

Today we're gonna do a fun question game.

[Kale]

I'm excited for this because it's how.

[Becky]

To fall in love, Right?

[Kale]

How long does it take you to fall in love with a person?

[Madison]

You already asked me this.

[Kale]

And what was your answer? How about you, Alessandra?

[Alessandra]

A Long time.

[Kale]

How about you, Madison?

[Madison]

Six to seven months. At six months. Currently, definitely in love.

[Becky]

Oh, six to seven months.

[Kale]

That's insane.

[Alessandra]

No, it's not.

[Becky]

Yeah, it is.

[Kale]

It is.

[Alessandra]

But like, I think there's different levels of love. Like, I think there's surface level love. I think there's deep love. I think there's the difference between being in love with a person and loving a person.

[Kale]

How long does it take you to fall in love with someone?

[Madison]

Two seconds.

[Kale]

Same.

[Alessandra]

But that's not real.

[Kale]

No, it is.

[Alessandra]

No.

[Kale]

Yes, it is.

[Alessandra]

Two seconds.

[Kale]

No, not two seconds. So for real.

[Alessandra]

I know you did.

[Kale]

You can fall in love with someone.

[Becky]

Have a conversation with someone in a day that was.

[Alessandra]

There's different feeling levels of love.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Nobody knows where it's going. Nobody knows where it's going on that at that moment. But you can still fall in love in that time.

[Becky]

Yeah. With. With that being said, here are 36 questions. To fall in love. Are we going to fall in love by the end of this?

[Kale]

Me and you?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I thought we already were. Why are you doing this?

[Alessandra]

Okay, let's simmer down. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Whomst would you want?

[Kale]

Am I answering this like I want Becky to be there or is this.

[Becky]

It's your own opinion.

[Alessandra]

Do you know that it's for us.

[Becky]

To get to know each other more.

[Kale]

Can you read the question again?

[Alessandra]

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whomst would you want as a dinner guest?

[Kale]

Am I answering this out loud? Yeah. Post Malone.

[Becky]

Interesting.

[Kale]

Me and Posty would just vibe out. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

I'm gonna go with Michelle Obama.

[Kale]

Wow. We didn't have to be intellectual for that.

[Becky]

I just think it would be a really great conversation. I feel like I would learn a lot from her.

[Kale]

Great. And I was just going out of pure selfishness. I don't know why you had to do that.

[Alessandra]

Number two. Would you like to be famous? In what way and why?

[Becky]

Oh, I know.

[Kale]

I would not like to be famous. And I would like to be rich.

[Becky]

I would like to be famous for finding the cure for cancer.

[Kale]

I'm done with you today. I thought we were doing this for funsies. And you're giving me.

[Becky]

It's a. It's a serious thing.

[Alessandra]

Is a second question into the 45 minute quiz. They're definitely not falling in love.

[Kale]

We are not compatible in any way. Thank you. And you're a fucking Virgo.

[Alessandra]

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say why?

[Kale]

Yes, I do. Mainly because I want to get off the phone, so I have to think of what my exit strategy is. Kristen's the only person I like talking to on the phone, so I don't do that to her.

[Alessandra]

Okay, good.

[Becky]

I'm never calling you again.

[Kale]

You don't call me. You FaceTime me, and that was not the category that was asked.

[Becky]

No, I don't, like, think about what I'm going to say before I call. I've never done that in my life.

[Kale]

No, I don't want to talk to random people on the phone ever.

[Alessandra]

Okay. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

[Kale]

A day or date day? The pool and a book and snacks.

[Alessandra]

Snacks, snacks.

[Becky]

I think I would start my morning.

[Kale]

Give it to me.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Madison]

What time are we waiting?

[Becky]

I think that I would start my morning off with maybe nine holes of golf and then go to the diner with all the people that I love and then go back to my pool. I would definitely agree with that. And hang out by the pool, order some pizza, have a movie night. That would be a great day.

[Kale]

I love that for you.

[Alessandra]

Can't wait to do that together.

[Madison]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Not without me.

[Alessandra]

I knew that was. When did you last sing to yourself?

[Kale]

This morning.

[Becky]

Today.

[Kale]

When? What'd you sing?

[Becky]

I was just singing before.

[Kale]

I don't know. I just hum a tune sometimes.

[Alessandra]

Okay, and when was the last time you sang to someone else?

[Becky]

Oh, last night.

[Kale]

I don't know.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Becky]

I love Leah Roney.

[Kale]

Is that your song?

[Becky]

Yeah. Then she'll go, I love Becca Roni.

[Kale]

Lesbians are so fun.

[Alessandra]

It's also like Becky and Leah. Like, they are the quintessential millennials. Like, when you think of millennials, like, that's who I think of. I love Pecaroni.

[Kale]

Who is the golden retriever and who's the black cat in your relationship?

[Becky]

I'm probably the golden retriever.

[Alessandra]

I don't think Lee is a black cat.

[Kale]

I don't either. Maybe gray, maybe. Maybe a tabby cat.

[Becky]

Too soon, you know?

[Alessandra]

Oh. Oh, that was up. I'm so sorry.

[Kale]

Why did you do well, like, why.

[Alessandra]

Is she blaming you?

[Becky]

That's the next question.

[Kale]

Oh, no, that was. I'm so sorry.

[Becky]

I'm hot. I'm literally sweating.

[Alessandra]

No, she is literally crying.

[Kale]

Can we move on?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Alessandra]

Oh, my God.

[Becky]

Okay. Wow.

[Alessandra]

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 6 years of your life, which would you want?

[Becky]

Mind. Wait, I answered that. Real Quick, I thought you said six years.

[Kale]

You are 90 years old. Would you rather retain the mind or the body?

[Becky]

No, I'm still going with mind.

[Kale]

I'm going to be so morbid. I.

[Becky]

We know.

[Kale]

I just want to die.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, okay, but just pick one. If you had to gun to your head body.

[Kale]

Yeah, I'm. I'm already insane. So like if I'm 90 and I don't have the mind, you know what I mean? Of like younger, I'm still insane. So it doesn't make a difference. Did you say mind or body?

[Becky]

I said mind.

[Kale]

I'm proud of you. At least one of us is normal.

[Becky]

I mean, I watched my dad like literally like lose all of his mind and that was like the worst part.

[Alessandra]

Of like when you know. But like. Okay, let's.

[Kale]

Keep doing this. I really can't. She's literally.

[Alessandra]

Okay. This is the last episode. Thank you so much for listening to the 15 minutes of the last episode of Karma Chaos ever. Thank you. No, like, okay. No, because my question with that situation, Becky, do you think it's worse for the person going through it or the family? Like cuz you're not as aware of it when you're going through it, do you think?

[Becky]

No.

[Alessandra]

No.

[Kale]

So it's worse for the family, the people around family?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Yeah. I mean I. I watched my grandma go through the same thing.

[Becky]

Like people at 90 aren't like there are physically capable 90 year olds. It's not like you're automatically losing your. You're just like can't run or jump. But like you still have like body autonomy.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I'm not just like assuming I'm paralyzed at 90.

[Kale]

I am.

[Becky]

Yeah. So like you could still function as a 90 year old. I'd rather be able to enjoy the like and people around me, you know?

[Kale]

Yeah. Don't ask any more questions like that.

[Alessandra]

Okay?

[Kale]

I can't with her. Answers are like, well, that's why you're not. I want to jump.

[Alessandra]

If anybody ever gives a rumor that they're dating again, just. This is going to dispel it. Okay.

[Kale]

This is 1000 reason 169 why we are not compatible or dating.

[Becky]

69.

[Kale]

I can't do anything right. Like, what is going on?

[Alessandra]

That's funny. Okay.

[Becky]

That's funny.

[Alessandra]

Are we okay?

[Becky]

No.

[Kale]

And everyone's gonna hate us. It's fine.

[Madison]

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[Alessandra]

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

[Kale]

I do have a secret hunch about how I'm gonna die.

[Alessandra]

It's not secret.

[Kale]

Gonna be.

[Alessandra]

As thousands of people know.

[Kale]

I do. I don't have to say it. Do you? I also, if it's not the way that I want to go out, if I ever get murdered, I really need you guys to push for an episode on Dateline.

[Alessandra]

You've been telling me for five years.

[Kale]

Okay. I just drill it in.

[Alessandra]

I know.

[Kale]

I'm manifesting.

[Alessandra]

No, no, you're manifesting being murdered.

[Kale]

No, no, no, no. Manifesting getting an episode of Dateline because I murdered. Do you know what I mean? Like, I want it to be so dramatic.

[Alessandra]

Heavy on the if. Okay. Manifesting only the if.

[Kale]

The if.

[Alessandra]

Right.

[Kale]

What's your, like, situation, Your plan? Exit strategy? Old age. I love that. For you.

[Becky]

My kid would kill me with morphine.

[Kale]

Oh, I'm. That's what I'm hoping for for me.

[Becky]

Of old age, though. Like, when I'm ready to go, they're just like, inject it in.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Name the three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

[Kale]

Oh, we have in common. Oh, we dress the same.

[Alessandra]

Where? When? In your parallel universe. What are we talking about here? Hello, Patricia.

[Kale]

I can't do this job anymore. I can't.

[Becky]

All right, I'll answer. We both are business oriented.

[Kale]

Answer.

[Alessandra]

We're what?

[Becky]

Business oriented.

[Alessandra]

You can't answer.

[Becky]

You can. We are both business oriented. Right. Like, we have business mindsets.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Wanting to do fun.

[Madison]

We work.

[Becky]

We are both very, like, hard workers.

[Alessandra]

I would agree.

[Becky]

And we both love your kids a lot.

[Kale]

Oh, I love that. We also love Leo a lot.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Okay, next question.

[Alessandra]

For what in your life do you feel the most grateful?

[Becky]

Oh.

[Kale]

Oh, wow. Don't make me cry at this point. You know what I mean? No, everything.

[Alessandra]

What?

[Kale]

Truly everything. Grateful for everything.

[Alessandra]

No, you have to be specific.

[Kale]

Specific. Oh, my God. Grateful for the listeners of this podcast that allow me to pay my bills, to take care of my family, and give me the flexibility and structure to provide for my children.

[Alessandra]

Porch.

[Kale]

Because if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be able to do any of that. Like, I wouldn't be able to do anything.

[Becky]

Thanks for listening.

[Kale]

What are you grateful for?

[Becky]

I would say, Leah, I love that. I mean, everything boils down. Like anything I have in life boils down because of her.

[Kale]

So that's really romantic.

[Becky]

That's my girl.

[Alessandra]

Okay, if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? Everything.

[Becky]

How much time do we have?

[Kale]

I wish my mom fed me more.

[Alessandra]

I gotta see myself out.

[Kale]

One time this lady called me.

[Alessandra]

No, no, I know, it's not funny.

[Kale]

I know.

[Alessandra]

It's about to be so traumatizing.

[Kale]

Her name was Nancy and we're friends on Facebook. And she called me and was like. She was like, your mom used to leave you in the crib, go to the bar, and I used to climb through your window to get you because I was just crying in the crib. You know what I mean? Like, literally and figuratively. It was like the crib, but also like, the crib you get was rough. So she's telling me this and I was like, oh, I love that for me. So I wish she didn't do that. I'm thankful for Nancy.

[Alessandra]

Can you wish your mom Fudgy Horn didn't leave you in the crib? Physically and metaphor, Roger.

[Kale]

Thanks, Susie. What are. What are you wishing that was different about your childhood?

[Becky]

I wish I had more diversity and representation.

[Alessandra]

K, you can't. Like, you can't compare. Especially in, like. What are you gonna do?

[Becky]

I was fed, dude.

[Alessandra]

Like, like, sorry.

[Kale]

I was fed. Yeah, my. My bad.

[Alessandra]

You know what? You should watch this episode on patreon at like 8 o' clock with a glass of wine. Yeah. The same vibes as us. Okay.

[Becky]

For sure.

[Alessandra]

Not that we're drunk or on edibles. We're just deliriously tired.

[Kale]

It's been a long, long week.

[Alessandra]

Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail. We don't have to do that.

[Madison]

No, we don't have to do that.

[Becky]

No, we can skip that.

[Madison]

How about we do it in a minute?

[Alessandra]

No, Listen to the last 18.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Eight years of coffee Convos, coffee combos.

[Kale]

Read Pride over pity read. We can skip all the things. Yeah. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Okay. If you could. Okay. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

[Kale]

I wish I was funny.

[Becky]

Okay, let's be real.

[Kale]

I wish I was. You are. No, like, real funny.

[Madison]

You are real funny.

[Kale]

Like, witty funny.

[Madison]

You are witty.

[Kale]

Okay, when I think of funny, I think of, like, the one liners, like the one.

[Becky]

Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

[Kale]

Liners that are so like Lindsay Lux. Like the one liners that, like, Lindsay will just run her mouth and be so.

[Becky]

Lindsay is very funny.

[Kale]

I want to be that kind of funny.

[Becky]

You are funny.

[Kale]

Not like her, though.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

What do you want to be?

[Becky]

My quality would be maybe a little smarter from like a.

[Alessandra]

A book.

[Kale]

Academically.

[Becky]

Academically smarter. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Fair.

[Kale]

Me too.

[Becky]

Like, I wish I could consume and remember.

[Kale]

Retain.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Love.

[Becky]

That's it.

[Kale]

Also same.

[Alessandra]

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

[Becky]

I don't know if I want to know anything because that's really heavy to like, think of.

[Kale]

What were. What were the things that it was.

[Becky]

Like you can ask the future about.

[Alessandra]

Yourself or anything at all.

[Becky]

What would I ask?

[Kale]

I don't.

[Becky]

I. I wouldn't ask like, when I die, because then I wouldn't. I don't want to know when I die. I don't want to ask how many kids I have because what if they say zero and then I already expect to have some and then it's like, oh, do my kids die? Ooh, I know what I would ask. I would ask what I'm supposed to do in life so that I start it now.

[Alessandra]

I like that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I would ask it if.

[Alessandra]

Where Susie Q is.

[Kale]

I know, I'm funny.

[Alessandra]

It's the trauma.

[Kale]

I really don't know. I feel like maybe, like, will my life ever calm down?

[Madison]

You have seven kids.

[Kale]

I know, but like, and that is chaotic in and of itself. But I just wonder, like, will the, like the drama aspect ever calm down? You know what I mean?

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah. Because the chaos you're talking about isn't your day to day chaos of like your schedule and your kids. Like, when you talk about chaos, you mean like the chaos that you can't control. Like the drama and like the outside, like, anxiety of not knowing what shoe is going to drop or like, what is going to have something stupid to say. Exactly.

[Kale]

Yeah, exactly. And a lot of people are like, well, Kale creates the own, like the chaos in her own life. And I, while I think part of that is true, and I do create, like from the decisions that I make, I create some amount of chaos. But I do think that at least 50% comes from people that I cannot control what they say or what they do or what they post. And so I just wonder if any of that will calm down at all.

[Alessandra]

Is there something that you'd dreamed of doing for a long time.

[Kale]

I want to be an attorney. I want to be a lawyer.

[Alessandra]

Okay, and why haven't you done it?

[Kale]

Because when I was going to take the LSATs during COVID I ended up having Creed and then it was homeschooling and then I pushed it off. I had Rio and then I pushed it off again and I had the twins. So maybe when they go to kindergarten.

[Becky]

I'd like to start a non profit.

[Kale]

Oh, cute.

[Alessandra]

And why haven't you? That was the question.

[Becky]

I think I have enough on my plate right now.

[Kale]

You don't say.

[Becky]

I think I'll eventually start one. Maybe we'll start one together.

[Kale]

Oh, I would love that.

[Becky]

Honestly, I've always had this idea of creating a nonprofit that is like a summer camp for specifically like underprivileged and foster kids that they get. They come the first. When they come, they stay intense. And then throughout the summer they build where they're gonna live. So they build like a cabin. So it teaches them how to like serve like skills and stuff too, so they can learn maybe aspects of what they would want to do that would be cool.

[Kale]

Like like carpentry and stuff like that.

[Becky]

Like electric and like stuff like. Yeah. So you essentially are building out like little cabins that like you would live.

[Kale]

In habitats for humanity, sort of like for kids.

[Becky]

But like it would be more like enjoy. Like there would be more summer camp. Summer camp vibes too. Like to it as well. Like teaching like, I don't know, skills. Yeah. And no. And like bonding with other kids and xyz.

[Alessandra]

That's really cute. I like that.

[Madison]

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[Alessandra]

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

[Kale]

I don't know that I've made my.

[Alessandra]

Greatest accomplishment yet, but what's, like, so far?

[Becky]

I would say allowing myself to become a better person to deserve the life that I have now.

[Kale]

That's deep.

[Becky]

I mean, I mean, it took a lot of work to, like, grow. So, like, I feel worthy of what I have. And, like, I didn't always deserve to have the life I have. I don't think.

[Alessandra]

Why?

[Kale]

Why?

[Becky]

Just, like, I don't think, like, not that I was a bad person, but, like, I. I, like, I don't think that my intentions. I don't know, I was just a little bit. I don't want to say too much, but trying to navigate where I belonged. I think that I wasn't always being true to myself and then, like, being a good partner, being a good friend. I think I've, like, grown a lot in that area.

[Kale]

Okay, Fair. I mean, I still think, like, when we fell out, like, we were at our worst. And I still feel like you deserved the world then, too.

[Becky]

Yeah. I don't know if I. Yeah. I mean, thanks, but I don't know.

[Alessandra]

You're always going to be your harshest critic.

[Becky]

True.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I don't have an answer. I really don't.

[Becky]

Definitely not. The rebrand was not successful.

[Alessandra]

Okay. What do you value most in a friendship?

[Becky]

Ooh, presence and intention.

[Kale]

I don't know. These are hard.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Like, I didn't get the value most in a friendship.

[Becky]

I think you value loyalty the most in friendship.

[Kale]

That's what for. That was like, because that's what breaking.

[Becky]

To mind, that would be the highest thing that would break your friendship is, like, that lack of loyalty and trust.

[Kale]

It's just sort of nuanced and layered and, like, sort of complicated because that is only one, the loyalty with, like, media and social media.

[Becky]

Yeah, but that's in that relevant to your life.

[Kale]

Yeah, but I don't necessarily. Like, some friends that I have are not social media.

[Alessandra]

But loyalty, it doesn't just have to do with, like, social media. It has to do with, like, knowing that someone's going to have your back.

[Becky]

No matter what in a room you're not in.

[Alessandra]

Like, I think.

[Kale]

No, I know, but when I think of it, when she says that, I think of the loyalty in terms of, like, not running to The Internet. That's what I think of as loyalty.

[Alessandra]

Okay. Like, okay, I know that you always. You used to say that you don't have a village. You've stopped that.

[Kale]

Yeah, I don't. I definitely feel like I have.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, you do. But. So then do you think that, like, showing up, like, being there without asking? Because, like, I feel like you have a hard time.

[Kale]

I.

[Alessandra]

Like, you have a hard time asking for help.

[Kale]

Fair. So, yeah. Showing up, anticipating needs.

[Alessandra]

Love it. Sexy.

[Kale]

Sexy.

[Alessandra]

What is your most treasured memory?

[Kale]

My mom cooked for me in ninth grade. I just talked about it, like, a week ago.

[Alessandra]

That's your most treasured memory with your mom?

[Kale]

Yeah, it's the only time that she ever cooked for me in ninth grade.

[Alessandra]

Like, why?

[Kale]

Like, because my boyfriend came over, so I asked her to make food, and.

[Alessandra]

She was, like, good. She wasn't, like, super.

[Kale]

I don't really remember. Also, she didn't yell at me when her dog ate weed once.

[Alessandra]

I'm sorry, what?

[Kale]

And it had to get its stomach.

[Alessandra]

What the.

[Becky]

I think that they're. There's a lot to uncover here that when you think of your most treasured memory.

[Kale]

With my mom.

[Becky]

Did it say with your mom? Yeah.

[Kale]

No, I was saying with my mom.

[Alessandra]

I know.

[Kale]

The most treasured memory.

[Becky]

Yeah, but it didn't say with your mom. Like. But, like, your automatic mind went to your mom, which is wild.

[Alessandra]

Well, she's got a deep.

[Becky]

Oh, I know, but, like.

[Alessandra]

I know, I know. That's interesting.

[Becky]

I mean. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Crazy.

[Alessandra]

You should talk to your therapist about that.

[Kale]

One time on the podcast, they asked me what my deepest treasured. My deep treasured memory was, and it was. Yeah, I'll tell Lisa. I have. I have therapy on Monday, so she should just listen.

[Becky]

Wow.

[Alessandra]

No, she said she definitely should listen to this one. And Poppy. God, first.

[Becky]

I'm gonna give two treasured memories because my. This is gonna sound really morbid, but my dad. Like, the surrounding days before my dad died, I think are, like. Because my whole family was there. I really value that time. And then when Lee and I got engaged, it was also.

[Kale]

I. We weren't friends when you all got engaged, so. Can you tell me the story?

[Becky]

Yeah, it's. I'll tell it another time.

[Kale]

Oh, is it long?

[Becky]

A little bit.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Alessandra]

What is your most terrible memory?

[Becky]

Literally anything about Kale's mom.

[Kale]

He told.

[Alessandra]

Anything about Gail's mom.

[Becky]

Any of it.

[Kale]

Susie, this one's for you.

[Alessandra]

Do you know I can't eat Ferrero Rocher anymore?

[Kale]

Oh, one time my mom starved me.

[Becky]

Did you take a picture?

[Kale]

No, I. My flashlight was on. On accident. Left me home for several days by myself. And there was no food in the house. So I'm digging through the cabinets and you know those like gift baskets that have cellophane wrap on them that you give around like Christmas or whatever? My mom had one that was like years and years old. Like, I couldn't tell you how many years old it was. I don't even know why she still had it. And so I ate the Ferrero Rocher out of that basket that was years and years old.

[Madison]

Ferrero Rocher.

[Kale]

They're little hazelnut chocolates. And I was so tormented inside because I had to hide the basket that I like opened and I didn't know why. It was like being saved. So I thought my mom was like attached to this basket. And so finally I told her about it and she wasn't mad, but I was so concerned that she was gonna be upset that I ate the chocolate out of the 12 year old chocolate basket. I don't know, eight, nine. It was rough. That was the same apartment I lived in. When I walked my uncle's house, which I'm gonna see that uncle next week, which will be nice.

[Alessandra]

I think we should do a group trip for EMDR therapy.

[Kale]

Everybody turned out okay.

[Alessandra]

Did we?

[Kale]

I wonder where Susie was that those days.

[Alessandra]

Oh, she probably don't know.

[Kale]

She probably don't remember. She was blacked out.

[Alessandra]

Okay. She don't know. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

[Kale]

Yeah, I would. If I knew I was going to die in here, I would get off of all social media and I would just be present in every single thing.

[Alessandra]

Why?

[Kale]

I wouldn't want my kids to remember and be present and not worried about anything. Anything else.

[Becky]

I mean, I would quit working, but like, that's not realistic for someone to do. But I think otherwise. I'm living a life that I'd be happy to live like the last year of my life. But like, not working would give me more time to just be more like a little more present.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, that's really nice.

[Becky]

I wouldn't get off social media though. I'd be like, day 99.

[Alessandra]

Becky, Ms. Becky said she was gonna pretend suicide on live.

[Kale]

So what? I forgot about that. You said that, girl, you weren't here.

[Alessandra]

What? Seems on the podcast she said this.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

When I asked you guys, like, if you had to fake your death, how would you do it? And she said she take her a Drowning like a suicide.

[Kale]

I don't know why you were here. No, I wasn't. What did I say?

[Alessandra]

Patricia, what did I say? Probably not even disappear. Like flat out disappear.

[Kale]

No trace. Disappeared without. What's that show on ID Channel? I think it's Disappeared without a Trace. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, that would be me.

[Kale]

The Curious Case of K. Lowry.

[Alessandra]

She said I would disappear without a trace. What's the name of that show?

[Becky]

I think disappear. Disappear Without a Trace. I'm tired.

[Alessandra]

I'm really tired because, like, I don't think anybody listening to this is going to think it's as funny as we do. We're so delirious.

[Becky]

I think they will. I think they'll enjoy this episode.

[Kale]

This might be Patreon exclusive.

[Becky]

No, they. They enjoyed the last time we did this.

[Alessandra]

They sure did. I think it took me nine hours to edit that episode.

[Kale]

Fair over.

[Madison]

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[Alessandra]

What does friendship mean to you?

[Kale]

Oh, why do you have to ask these deep questions? I don't want to talk about my feelings.

[Alessandra]

We shouldn't have done this.

[Kale]

What does friendship mean to you?

[Becky]

Friendship for me means having a community to allow yourself to take risks in life and enjoy life to the fullest because you have a support system to fall back on.

[Kale]

My friends are my family because I don't have one. So yeah.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Is there snacks? Because my stomach's growling.

[Alessandra]

Okay, with snacks. Snacks.

[Kale]

Get snacks. Okay.

[Alessandra]

Get snacks. Okay. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

[Becky]

A lot.

[Madison]

I need a lot of love and.

[Becky]

Validation to make me feel, like, secure like that. If I don't have fleet, like walks into the room and doesn't acknowledge me in like a physical way, I'm like, same. So love and affection, like, is why I am who I am. And that's what, like, fuels me as a person. So without that, I don't know what I would be.

[Alessandra]

We're parents. Such a big physical touch, people.

[Becky]

No, no.

[Alessandra]

And, well, then there you go.

[Becky]

Well, now that you brought that.

[Kale]

Did you just fart?

[Becky]

Yeah, it came out with the one laugh.

[Alessandra]

You've been there, babe.

[Kale]

Been there. I hope it comes through on the mic.

[Alessandra]

It did.

[Becky]

My farts don't smell though. Normally.

[Alessandra]

Normally.

[Kale]

What about you?

[Becky]

What? Oh, you're already.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Friends are your family?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Oh, no, wait, that was the last part. What does love and affection mean to you?

[Kale]

I know.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. What roles does love and affection play in your life?

[Kale]

No, I don't.

[Madison]

You do like to be loved.

[Alessandra]

No, it's not like how you like to be loved. It's like, how does it play a role in your life? Like, how does that affect your day to day? Like, how does it fulfill a need? How do you show a lot of.

[Becky]

Love and affection to your kids and they show you a lot of love and affection?

[Kale]

I'm just like an acts of service person, so I don't know.

[Alessandra]

Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items, so.

[Kale]

I'm naming things that I love about her.

[Madison]

He loves this game.

[Kale]

You're loyal, you're funny. I love having a podcast with you.

[Alessandra]

Because you're loyal and funny.

[Kale]

Because you're loyal and funny, you show up for everyone in your life, not just me.

[Becky]

Jealousy.

[Kale]

And you love my kids.

[Becky]

I do love your kids. You're funny. You are funny.

[Kale]

Ish.

[Becky]

You are very hard working. You are a good mother. You're a good friend.

[Alessandra]

Sometimes.

[Becky]

Most of the time we let the other times go. And you have come a really long way from, like, what life dealt you. So, like, you should be proud of that.

[Kale]

Thank you.

[Alessandra]

Resilience.

[Madison]

Resilience. Hell yeah, brother.

[Becky]

And she's gonna give me the Stanley.

[Alessandra]

How close and warm is your family? Do you fear your childhood was happier than most other people?

[Kale]

Yeah, for sure. That's.

[Becky]

Fuck.

[Alessandra]

Hills was super.

[Becky]

That was malicious.

[Kale]

That was. Was.

[Alessandra]

I was not. Yeah, I did not write these.

[Kale]

Short answer is yeah, I don't think.

[Becky]

You needed to answer them yet. Yeah, I'd say my childhood is pretty good.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, what do you think is the most traumatic thing in your childhood, like, from your childhood, not, like your worst memory ever, but, like, what is traumatic? What was traumatic, if anything?

[Becky]

I mean, I had a pretty traumatic childhood, but I think overall, like, from a. Like, I was fed. I was, like, set up for success. I was given. Given resources and given access to resources and things of those sorts. But, like, I think we're all. Most of us have some sort of experience from being raised by boomers that, like, will always kind of be traumatizing. Right. The lack of emotional intelligence, a lack of, like, physical, like, love and things of those sorts.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

So how close and warm is your family?

[Becky]

I feel like we're pretty close and warm.

[Kale]

I love all your siblings. Close and warm.

[Becky]

Yeah, I love my. Yeah, I feel like.

[Kale]

And I love your mom also.

[Becky]

Yeah, she's great.

[Alessandra]

Make three true we statements each. For instance, we are both in this room feeling, well, we don't need to talk about our feelings. Obviously, we're already doing too much of that.

[Becky]

So.

[Alessandra]

Make three true we statements about you. Guys, collectively.

[Becky]

We both are gay.

[Kale]

We're both gay.

[Becky]

We both wear boys clothes. We both love her kids.

[Kale]

What's funny is, like, everything you wear. I'm like, I would wear that. Everything.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kale]

Oh, I. I have to do my own. We wear the same clothes.

[Alessandra]

No.

[Kale]

We both have cats.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

I don't know what you want me to say here.

[Alessandra]

You just keep.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Madison]

The knife.

[Kale]

Oh, Becky. She goes. Yeah. And I wasn't. We both love nature. We love. Both love balls.

[Becky]

Oh, pools.

[Alessandra]

Pools.

[Becky]

We like pools.

[Kale]

Golf balls. Balls. I don't know what y' all want from me.

[Becky]

We both like to podcast.

[Kale]

We both love to podcast. We both love to laugh. We both.

[Becky]

We do love to laugh.

[Kale]

And we both love lesbian.

[Alessandra]

All right, complete this sentence. I wish I had someone with home. Literally did not let me. She did not let me get the.

[Becky]

Question on that day.

[Kale]

I didn't do it, and she got me.

[Becky]

What was it?

[Alessandra]

Complete the sentence. I wish I had someone with whom I could share a last name.

[Becky]

That's a good one.

[Kale]

Who has the same last name as me besides my children?

[Alessandra]

Nobody.

[Kale]

Nobody.

[Becky]

I wish I had someone I could share a deeper friendship.

[Alessandra]

What?

[Kale]

What?

[Alessandra]

Oh, you mean, like. Okay, so you were saying earlier on an episode that you feel like I would choose you. Oh, like a lot of friends.

[Kale]

I would choose one.

[Alessandra]

One person. All right.

[Becky]

You haven't answered my calls in two weeks.

[Kale]

Well, now that I know that how you feel, I will.

[Alessandra]

She won't.

[Becky]

It's a.

[Alessandra]

It's not personal, though.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for them to know.

[Kale]

You. Like for me to answer your FaceTime calls.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay. I receive love through acts of service. That's what I would say.

[Alessandra]

You do what?

[Becky]

I don't receive love through acts of service.

[Alessandra]

Oh, I was asking you the question.

[Becky]

Would I receive love through. She already answered it. If I need to tell her what makes me feel more.

[Alessandra]

Oh, answering.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Answering my physical forever. Like, across the board. You would say that or just with her.

[Becky]

Just with her.

[Alessandra]

And what about for, like, anybody? If you were trying to become close friends with someone, what would be, like.

[Becky]

Important for you to be invited to things?

[Kale]

She has fomo.

[Madison]

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[Alessandra]

Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

[Kale]

No, no, no, no. We're not doing this one. Pat, Babe. No, no.

[Alessandra]

The amount.

[Becky]

Pass.

[Kale]

Literally. No.

[Alessandra]

The amount of embarrassing stories you have told on this podcast about her. No, like, about your life.

[Kale]

Oh, thank God. I thought she was gonna have to say an embarrassing thing about me, and I'm not prepared.

[Alessandra]

No, she didn't listen to the question.

[Kale]

Oh, Lindsay makes up and people believe it.

[Alessandra]

What?

[Kale]

Lindsay.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah, she do.

[Becky]

Be like.

[Kale]

And I'm like, that is not true. Okay, embarrassing thing that you've done.

[Becky]

That you've done. You say you go first.

[Kale]

I want to know what level of embarrassing we're talking about.

[Madison]

One time.

[Becky]

Ugh, this makes me so sick to even think about. This is one of the worst times of my life. One time, this. This person called my job looking for free T shirts, and she told me she had cancer, and I forgot to mute the phone, and I said, hey, this lady's saying she has cancer and trying to use her cancer to get free T shirts. And she heard me, and I am so sorry. If you're listening to this, and it was you, I hope you're still alive. I. Makes me fucking sick to think about.

[Kale]

The most horrible thing I've ever heard.

[Becky]

I was so hot. I've never forgot to mute a phone ever since. Dude. Oh, my God, I'm hot.

[Alessandra]

She said, if you're listening to this.

[Becky]

If you're still alive, I am so sorry. That was. That was.

[Kale]

How many jobs have you had? A lot.

[Becky]

I did custom apparel.

[Kale]

When was that?

[Becky]

I was 23.

[Kale]

And you still remember it?

[Becky]

Oh, my God. It was traumatized. It was so embarrassing. I did.

[Alessandra]

How did you know?

[Becky]

She said, like. And she said something. She's like, never mind. Like, thank you. Anyway, and then hung up. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Kale]

When was the realization that you forgot to mute.

[Becky]

No, she, like, acknowledged that I didn't mute it. Like, she said, like, I forget what? Like, oh, it makes me sick. Okay, your turn.

[Kale]

I got my period in the seventh grade in front of everyone.

[Alessandra]

That does not compare to the story she just told.

[Kale]

I can't think off the top. There's so. I'm so embarrassed by my own self. Okay.

[Alessandra]

When did you last cry in front of another person or by yourself?

[Becky]

Today?

[Alessandra]

I probably.

[Kale]

Yeah, probably yesterday.

[Becky]

Yesterday. I think I cried four times.

[Alessandra]

So the day before.

[Kale]

Why were you. Why were you crying?

[Becky]

My cat's.

[Kale]

Stop. I'm sorry.

[Alessandra]

I think you have amnesia.

[Kale]

Not okay.

[Alessandra]

You know, like, 50 first dates. Like. Like, is there any.

[Kale]

Like, when I'm having a guest on and it's like, is there anything. You is off limits. Yeah, she's like.

[Alessandra]

She's like, please stop my cat.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I'm really not calculating.

[Becky]

Oh, I. Yeah. Very aware. Yeah, I'm right here. I am in this room.

[Kale]

So sorry.

[Alessandra]

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about.

[Kale]

Dad's dying, cat's going missing.

[Alessandra]

Too bad. We laugh about all those things.

[Kale]

Like, we are going straight to hell first class.

[Becky]

I don't think maybe, like, other people's losses and other people's, like, pain is probably too far. But I was thinking about it today or yesterday, like, I made, like, a weird cat joke to Leah. And making morbid dead dad jokes, like, is what got me through my dad dying. And, like, making cat jokes has also helped me get through it. So, like, I don't know if there is off limits of joking.

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

But I think when you just accept.

[Kale]

It, jokes about yourself. Yourself. Yeah, Your situation. Yourself. But, like, if someone I didn't know was making jokes about, like, my mom, I would be like, oh, we're gonna fight.

[Madison]

That's what I mean.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like. Like other people's pain.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, y' all make fun of my mom is funny to me.

[Becky]

But, like, a random person on the.

[Madison]

Street is gonna catch these McDonald's.

[Kale]

This guy was, like, talking to my mom. He went to my high school, and I jumped over the counter and tried to fight him. So it was like, I can talk about her, but you can't.

[Alessandra]

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told? Hold someone.

[Kale]

And I love them, I think.

[Alessandra]

Do you have anybody in your life that you love?

[Kale]

There's a couple people I would like to apologize to. And then also just certain people telling them I love them because I don't answer FaceTime calls, and I don't always intentionally reach out. Not. It's not unintentionally either. Yeah, I just, like, don't.

[Alessandra]

You're not in a space of your life where you're intentionally, like, working on your friendships.

[Kale]

So I think, like, apologizing to some people and then also, I love you.

[Becky]

I don't think I have anything I would tell anyone. I don't have any people I would want to apologize to. The people I love know that I love them. I would hope, at least.

[Alessandra]

And why haven't you told them already?

[Kale]

Me, I don't really like to talk about my feelings.

[Becky]

No.

[Madison]

Really.

[Alessandra]

You.

[Kale]

You won't stop talking about her.

[Alessandra]

Let us talk.

[Becky]

I wear my heart on my sleeve.

[Kale]

Good for you.

[Alessandra]

I love that your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be?

[Madison]

That's such a great question.

[Becky]

That's such a stupid answer.

[Alessandra]

You can get that replaced.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I don't hold on to anything. There's nothing of value in my house.

[Alessandra]

House.

[Kale]

There's literally nothing that I have. I don't. I don't care about, like, sentimental.

[Becky]

Your computer.

[Kale]

No, I want that to burn in the fire. My Social Security card or my passport, because they're a pain in the ass to replace. Like, yeah, you can replace them.

[Alessandra]

Cool.

[Becky]

But, like, yeah, I've never had to use my Social Security card in my entire life. So I'm trying to think if there's one thing that is, like, something of, like, tangible item that, like, can't be replaced. Right. Like, for all my photos can be replaced. Like, I'm trying to think if there's anything from, like, of Leah's. Like, a note she gave me when we first started dating that. But Like, I don't know, like what.

[Alessandra]

Is something to deal with baby Becks or anything. Yeah, like the Larry dolls.

[Becky]

Yeah, but I could get that remade.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

What is, I think impractical.

[Kale]

The passport.

[Becky]

Yeah, but mine's expiring soon anyway.

[Kale]

Well, you better get it renewed because you can't go to certain countries if it's expiring within six months.

[Becky]

No, it's not that far removed, I guess, like my wedding ring. But that'll be on my finger. I don't know. Moving on.

[Alessandra]

Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most disturbing and why?

[Kale]

My grandparents deaths were really hard for me.

[Becky]

I don't know if I could assert like that. My siblings maybe. Right. Because like I don't have any grandparents.

[Kale]

Right.

[Becky]

Like my mom would hurt, but I feel like my siblings probably would hurt more because they had more life's life to live. I don't know.

[Alessandra]

Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how they might handle it. Also ask your partner to reflect back to you how you see them to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

[Becky]

What was it? What was the beginning?

[Alessandra]

Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how they might handle it.

[Becky]

Personal problem. My cat. How would you think? You probably wouldn't give a. You're blank.

[Kale]

Is that the problem? For real?

[Alessandra]

She's like, please don't make me answer that.

[Becky]

I don't really know what other pro. The hospital bed. The hospital room that we're delivering in. The seat doesn't work.

[Alessandra]

Like.

[Becky]

So should I get a cot?

[Kale]

Wait, really? There's no like couch situation?

[Becky]

No, I saw it yesterday.

[Kale]

Could you just like lay in the bed with Leah?

[Becky]

That's what I said. She said no, no, it's too.

[Kale]

That is fair. She's gonna want her own space after that. Yeah, I'd get like a little blow up thing and. Or bring a blow up mattress.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

My problem is the private and public lives that I live. Like how do I balance.

[Becky]

Suck it up, buttercup.

[Kale]

In what way?

[Becky]

You just got to accept it. Make your choice and accept it. If you want to choose to live private, live private. But you can't do that and have your m. Like income come based off not being private.

[Alessandra]

It.

[Becky]

It's just not possible and you just gotta accept it.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

If you want to create boundaries to it, there's a possibility. But the issue is, is that when you start becoming more secretive, more people are going to be more question like questioning and more like invasive to your privacy. Opposed to when you're open about it, like, not being, like, hiding something.

[Kale]

But do you feel that way? Because I feel like there's a. The same amount of curiosity and like, in invasion of my privacy, no matter which way I do it, there's the same amount. So to your point, it's like I might as well just do whatever I'm gonna do because they're gonna be as invasive as they would be if I didn't share. So it's like, do you even think that is true for me?

[Becky]

Well, like, the thing for me, like, I know this is not relative at all, like, but I think about when I worked in corporate America and people would ask me if I had a husband and I wouldn't correct them because, like, it wasn't worth the conversation until I realized I was hiding the best part of my life.

[Kale]

Stop. I'll cry right now. That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

[Madison]

But that's.

[Becky]

It's like you're hiding for what? I think that you just have to navigate how you get to that. That place. And it's just going to take a little bit of time.

[Madison]

I think you have a lot of.

[Becky]

Clearing up to do about other things before you bring other situations, like, present, which is fine, but, like, there's just.

[Madison]

A little bit of what if those.

[Kale]

People don't want to get on board to clarify?

[Becky]

But then that's. They're like, you're not. You're not clarity. Like, you're just giving people timelines and like, you had a lot of hurt and pain around that and people will recognize that for what it is. And the people that don't fuck them, like, what fudgeing ever? But, like, give it a timeline of understanding why you are in the present place. And then as that moves on, like, move on with your life, like, be happy.

[Kale]

It sounds good.

[Alessandra]

Well, that was the last question.

[Kale]

Thank God. Thank Rihanna.

[Alessandra]

I hope you all enjoyed this episode of Karma and Chaos and email us more in depth deep questions for Kale to answer about her feelings.

[Kale]

Please don't ever do that again. Anyways, submit all of your Is it karma or is it chaos Stories to our email. You can also find the email in the description of this episode. You can find it on our Instagram, our socials and info at karma chaos.

[Becky]

Podcast.Com if my cat is still missing by the time this podcast comes out, I'm putting together a search party.

[Kale]

So, okay, everyone's Becky for that, but we're 500.

[Becky]

500 reward for anyone that finds my Cat.

[Kale]

I love that. Well, where can people find you on socials hater25 and on that note, go listen to for the haters on Spotify, Apple or wherever your podcast and we'll see you next week. See ya.

[Madison]

Love ya.

[Pluto TV]

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[Kale]

The single line.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

I'm Kaitlyn Bristow, host of off the vine podcast where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor, Franchise and beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness.

[Becky]

Na na na na na na na.

[Kale]

Na na na na na na na.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Nikki Glaser, Wells Adams, Elise Meyers.

[Becky]

Just like in this, like business jacket. Like I would love some tacos.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Heidi d', Amelio, Big Brother's Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're gonna get through it. What I do and so many more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions and get a little vulnerable. Because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow rate and review off the Vine Podcast wherever you listen to your podcast.

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At Walden University, we get the W. We're not here to have our hands held. We're here to lend ours. Because we want to create positive change on the world around us. And Walden University teaches us the skills to make it happen on our time. Now it's your time. Learn the skills. Make an impact. Get the W. Walden University set a course for change. Visit waldenu. Edu to learn more. Certifieds operate by Chef.