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Leah
This episode of Karma and Chaos podcast is brought to you by booking Dot Com. Oh, I got mine too. Hold on.
Becky
I love that. They're just completely different.
Leah
How weird.
Becky
Go ahead, you say it.
Leah
Good morning, good evening, good night, Good day, Good night.
Becky
You fussed it up.
Leah
We need to talk about something because. Wait, what? I just saw you in real life. Yeah, I just saw you. And we went to a Flyers game. Becky and I went to a Flyers game on. What was that? Was that Monday?
Becky
Monday.
Leah
On Monday. What? Said, hey, Thursday. It's been three days since we went to that game already.
Becky
Yes.
Leah
No way.
Becky
I think that that is a prime example, though, of I just want to be asked to do things. Kayl literally texted me that morning and said, do you want to go to a Flyers game? In my mind, I'm like, yeah, I do. And so I was like, leah, do you mind if I'm gone this evening? She was like, no. So.
Leah
Well, that was so nice. I have to say that Kristen's little club, sweet box idea has changed my life. I will never. I'm not going to any other games outside of. Because I have so many kids and I don't want to bring all of them places for that. Like, how could I bring Rio, who's about to be three years old, to his first NBA game and have him running crazy up and down these stairs? If we have a little box, it would be way easier to bring him to go do activities. And so I. There's the own bathroom, a server. This chairs are more comfortable, and it's a really good view. I'm not doing anything. I'm never going.
Becky
Wasn't that expensive. I know that it might sound like it's like some bougie thing. You guys know I'm on your side of the. The line of where we sit on tax brackets. So it. It actually isn't that expensive.
Leah
It was. And we have to be mindful. You're right. Of, like, the economy, the state of everybody's, like, finances right now. I will say it was a hundred dollars per ticket, so it really wasn't bad.
Becky
So you just get a bunch of people to get. The issue is you have to have a lot of people. It's because it's like.
Leah
Then it was like 12 people. So it was. That's how it worked out. And then I obviously paid her for us, but I really want to watch Lonzo ball play. And Lincoln's like, Alonzo's trash. But, like, I don't know, it's more for, like, the brand for me. Like, just the family. And so they play on a Friday night in January, and the tickets are not too bad. They're a little more expensive than a Flyers game, but they're not too bad. I figured that we could just go get like, and it's on a Friday so we wouldn't have to leave early.
Becky
I'm down.
Leah
Wait, I have to tell this story about Flyers game. So we go to the Flyers game. I did. First of all, we made the. We made the plans last minute. Like, Kristen asked me, I think on like Friday or Saturday, and then we never really, like, set it in stone. So then I asked her, are we going? And then she's like, hold on, let me get the ticket. So that was all last minute. And then Lincoln was like, well, if we get home past 10:15pm like, can we miss school tomorrow because we won't get a good night's sleep or whatever. So I'm like, oh, my God. Like, this is. These are the types of deals that I'm making with my kids, right? Like. Like, we can go do something fun, but they have to push it a little bit further to see if they could school. So we end up leaving early because in my mom's. My mom brain, I was like, no, they cannot miss school. And also, I don't want to be driving in the middle of the night. So we leave after the second period and then we get home at 10.14pm they were going to school. They went to school. Hey, 1014. I was like, no, you're going to school. So that was my story. It was a good time.
Becky
It was fun. I mean, I always value the time I get to spend with your kids because it. I feel like it makes me more of a significant person in their life, being a long distance, like, friend, you know? You know?
Leah
Yeah, no, that makes sense to me.
Becky
Because, like, the fun things they get to do, they can remember with me there. So it makes bigger of an impact.
Leah
Well, so I was redoing my, like, fridge. I. At home. I have like all over my fridge all the time. And so I was like, taking some stuff down, putting some new stuff up. And the picture from last year's dream drive that you guys did for Give back for foster kids. I moved it. I didn't take it off. I just moved it from one door to the other side. And. And Lincoln and Elliot were down there and they were like, we want to do that again. So I texted you, I put it on the calendar, have them that weekend. And they're. To my knowledge, there are no Sports that day.
Becky
Are you gonna come this year?
Leah
Well, that's what I was getting at. Like as long as nothing changes, I have everybody. So Lux and Creed can do it too.
Becky
They can help. I had like a million things that I have like a million things I want to talk about. So you're in luck. My brain is. My brain is just full of things.
Leah
Great. I love to hear that.
Becky
First and foremost, I've been thinking a lot today and I wanted to just say this and maybe you have something you're thankful for today. But today I'm really thankful to have Leah as a partner. Well, I'm always thankful for her to have her as a partner. Partner. But Bex is going through his four month sleep regression and so he is waking up a lot and is a lot. Is pretty fussy with napping and all the things. And it makes me just really thankful that I get to do this with Leah and not by myself or like, and vice versa. Like she doesn't have to do this alone. Alone. And we have a really great partnership in handling all the things that come with the joys of parenthood.
Leah
I love that.
Becky
Anything that you're thankful for today?
Leah
I am thankful for a positive, productive conversation that I had yesterday.
Becky
I love that.
Leah
Yeah, that's great. It was productive. It was positive, it was civil, it was cordial, it was all the things. And so I'm thankful for that and I hope that we continue to make progress in that way, in that direction.
Becky
You're like really happy. That's all I ever want for you is just like peace with the baby daddies. Yeah.
Leah
Literally just peace with the dads. That's it.
Becky
That's. That's all I want any, any advice from you on what the to do with four month sleep regression because this is for the birds. Bex was waking up once a night prior to this and now he wakes up three or four times a night and he goes back to bed. But it's, it's like a lot. You know, it's like I feel like.
Leah
When you as a, an adult and you lose sleep, like sleep deprivation will change your whole mood. Your feet. I'm shorter. You're like snapping at your partner. It's the worst. Honestly, I have no solutions or advice for you. I've done it seven times and I can honestly say there's nothing that makes it easier. So.
Becky
And it just get like, it just changes. Like at some point he's just gonna go like sleep again.
Leah
Yeah. Sometimes.
Becky
He is such a great kid, but like he is now not wanting to nap. And it's like, it's a job to put him down for a nap because you need to do certain things and you put him in a car, he'll sleep the whole time in the car. So, like, yesterday Leah was like, I'm going. I can't do this. I'm going for a ride. So she went for an hour ride with him and he slept the who entire time.
Leah
Well, she just needed that, like, peace of mind.
Becky
Yeah.
Leah
Not to scare you. This is not meant to be propaganda, but.
Becky
Oh, God.
Leah
In the future, you may have a child that hates the car and doesn't sleep at all. So Lincoln hated the car. So he would scream for the entire car ride all the time. And so when I used to have to take Elliot to New Jersey when Joe lived in New Jersey, it was like a three hour car ride of Lincoln just screaming. And then, Creed, he's five. He just turned five and he's finally sleeping on his own. Doesn't need me to lay with him. Like, Will just actually, funny enough, yesterday Lux had a soccer game, Lincoln had a basketball game. And I'm like, all right, Creed, like, come on. Javi had picked up Lincoln to take him to dinner and then go to the game. And so we met them there. I'm like, all right, Creed, come on. Like, let's get your shoes on. No answer, no idea what's going on. I go upstairs to check on him. Homie is up to his neck with his covers, and he is passed out, sleeping, snoring. He. I wake him up and he takes off the comforter and he's in a full blown Michael Jackson outfit. Full blown. The red leather jacket. He takes it off. There's sweat all down his back. Honestly, parenthood is not for the week.
Becky
No, it's not. And my. I was just talking to my sister about. Because she's obviously in the thick of it too. And I. I know I've talked about this on here and we. And I know that we've talked about it, but I cannot fathom going through parenthood by myself, like, as a single mom or with a partner that is not like, of value or of like.
Leah
But being. Going through parenthood with. With a partner that is. You might as well be single is worse than single parenting.
Becky
I would agree. Because you have somewhat like. Just because of that toxic nature between the two of you, you have that extra layer of just, like, burden.
Leah
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Becky
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Leah
Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30 servings of coffee. Plus you'll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts by going to everydaydose.com karma or entering karma at checkout. That's everyday dose.com/karma for 45% off your first order. And everyday Dose is also available at your local target. I don't think that moms in general get enough credit, let alone single moms or moms. Like, there was a girl on Tick Tock yesterday that had like a full blown crash out and she was like, you marry someone, you think that you're going into parenthood, like, with this person that you love, and they end up being a shitty partner and a shitty parent and you're just left to do it on your own. And then you go through the divorce and they try to take everything from you while you're trying to be a single mom. And she was talking about how.
Becky
She.
Leah
Was like, I cannot enjoy my single motherhood because my ex is ruining every precious moment that I have. And I have never related to something harder. Like there are times where I'm okay and I'm content being a single mom. But their, their dads have said things or kept me in a, in a frame of mind that ruins the soft moments that I should hold on to forever. So to your point about being thankful for Leah, I think that's all you can do is be grateful and then more of that will come. Does that make sense?
Becky
100%. And she has it a thousand times worse than I do. Right. Like, she has the emotional toll of, you know, being the, like, provider of food. She wakes up with him at night. Bex is now going through, like, not really wanting to breastfeed, which is really hard for her, like, emotionally to kind of go through that whole roller coaster. We're starting the conversations of adding in formula. I don't have emotional relation to his eating. I don't give a how he eats. I just want him to be fed. If it's formula, if it's you know breast milk. Obviously she does because she's the one that's like, has that connection, has that, like, instinct in her.
Leah
So it's a bittersweet feeling, like, for breastfeeding. It's like, you want that connection, but it's so mentally draining. And obviously I'm only speaking from my own experience, but like, oh, it's awful.
Becky
No, breastfeeding is aw. Like, from an outsider's perspective, there's. It's awful.
Leah
Be the one that. The only one. And obviously there's pumping. But not everyone responds well to a pump. It's like, to be the only one that can provide and you want your partner to help and you need a break and you can't have a break because you're breastfeeding.
Becky
Yeah. And like, in my mind, I'm like, well, it's good that he's. It's. I'd rather him shy away from breastfeeding than bottle feeding because what if he shied away from bottle feeding and then all he wanted was the rest and then I can't help it all. And I'm like, I'm like, I don't. I don't even know. This is all too.
Leah
I've. I've told you this before. But like, I would get so mad at hobby when I. Because Lincoln was exclusively breastfed for a year, so he. It was me and only me all the time. I really didn't pump. But he would just piss me off because he'd lay there sleeping peacefully and I'm up with a crying baby. So I would just start squirting him with my milk and he'd be like, in the middle of the night, and I'd be like, that's what you get. You're sitting there in basketball shorts while I'm doing all this work.
Becky
I, like, do remember you saying that. Like, that just sparks some memories for me.
Leah
Yeah. Cracking up. But I'm like, I would be so, like, resentful. And it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault.
Becky
And that's what I say to her because right now she's waking up throughout the night, like, if I'll take over at like 6am if he's up or whatever. But between like, you know, midnight and six, like, she takes over and I'm like, you can ask me, like, if you need me to wake up, I will wake up. Ask me. But. Because, like, I don't want her to resent me because, like, I'll be sleeping that peacefully. You know how I sleep.
Leah
So if you ask my Kids, to this day, when I was in labor, giving birth and breastfeeding, what was your dad doing? They will look at you and say, they sat there in basketball shorts.
Becky
Well, your kids are smart, so they're also.
Leah
It's a joke. Like, they know that they're. They have good dads. Like, they really do. Some of them have you.
Becky
All right, now we're gonna get into the juicy part.
Leah
Okay.
Becky
Have you looked at our Karma and Chaos group chat or Facebook group at all the past day?
Leah
I was about to say, do we have a group chat? Because I wasn't.
Becky
No, no, the Facebook group.
Leah
I have looked at their. Looked at it. If it comes up on my feed.
Becky
I Look, did you see my post yesterday?
Leah
I cannot say that I did, but tell me what it was and I'll tell you if I saw it.
Becky
You didn't. It's. It's. It, like, blew up. Okay, so there's this man who comments on all of our stuff. All, like, on our, like, Karma and Chaos page. No, not a good man. Ryan's a good man. His name is Jordan. And he, like, comments mean stuff on every single one of our videos.
Leah
Like, say something about me.
Becky
He says stuff about both of us.
Leah
Wait, like what, though?
Becky
Like, so yesterday it was. I forget what the. What he said about you, but a different. A different post. It was on the. Of you trying on merch and lit kale. He posts. He says, on every single one of our videos. Yesterday, I was just in a spicy mood, and I'm like. I'm like, what the. And so he said, has anyone actually bought a single article of clothing on the thing of our merch? And I said, the amount you comment on our stuff, we should send you a PR box. And he said, if you send me the sizes you wear, I'd have enough wiping rags to last me six months. So I went. I went to his profile, and this dumb idiot has his phone number on his profile.
Leah
Did you call him?
Becky
So I, like, I made a post on our Facebook group that said, like, I'm trying to be the bigger person, but do I make a fake, like, free wood post with his phone number? Be like. So that people call him.
Leah
Oh, like other people were catching on to this.
Becky
Yeah.
Leah
Find the po. I don't see your po. Oh, here it goes. There's this guy who comments on everything. Okay, okay, I'm seeing it. Did he. Oh. Oh, my God.
Becky
Yeah. And so I. After I. After he responded with that rag thing, I was like, it. I'm taking, like, gloves off, and I'M not like, I'm not telling people to go be malicious towards this guy. Like that's not my M.O. but I was like, I posted his number because it's public and I said sign him up for everything. So. So everyone is signing him up and like sending him text messages.
Leah
Sounds like his vehicle may be eligible for an extended warranty.
Becky
Yeah. People are saying he's. They signed him up for the military.
Leah
They signed him up for the gym.
Becky
Yeah. All these things and everyone's supportive. I did read one person this morning telling me that I needed to grow up or be a bigger person or something.
Leah
And I said and been verified and get the address to be given to the Jehovah Witnesses.
Becky
Yeah. And I want to say to that I typically am always the bigger person.
Leah
Yeah, same. I'm usually £200 bigger than everybody else.
Becky
But I feel like that's like the perfect way to deal with a troll if you want a troll.
Leah
Because someone did that to me. Like someone literally signed me up for everything and I was. So there's one person I have in mind. Somebody did sign me up for Farmers Mingles. And that was a long time ago. But it was funny because I was like low key. I would date a farmer.
Becky
Anyway. So that was the story of the Our Facebook. If you're not in our Facebook group, you should probably go join today's story. I woke up me and Bex. I was reading through some posts to approve to go into the Facebook group and I want to read. I want to bring a post that was made and it's pretty long so I'm going to read it. Is that cool?
Leah
Yeah.
Becky
It sparked a lot of different emotions for me because I was like, I don't. I feel bad. I like felt bad for this girl. It says, hey guys. Like it says something about needing advice, then says, I made a really screwed up decision and cheated on my ex husband. We had a really toxic, unhappy marriage for a long time. I was in therapy trying to figure out if I was going to leave or not. He refused couples therapy. I told him for about a year that I was done and was on the verge of leaving. But I was scared shitless. To be honest. He knew the marriage was done too, but wanted his hands clean so he wasn't going to be the one to leave. I confided in a friend of mine, slash coworker first. My first bad choice. Ended up starting to get feelings for him, kissed him once and then finally asked for a divorce one week after all that started with the coworker it was fast, but I still cheated. I never imagined that I would have done something like that, but the fact that I, I did was a huge wake up call that I needed to just put my big girl pants on leave because clearly I was done. Done. Me and the co worker are still together. Although I didn't necessarily leave leave him for him. I didn't know we'd end up together. I more so left because I knew the marriage that had reached that point needed to end. Either way, there's no excuses for the way I left and I feel awful about that. I battle with a lot of shame, remorse and regret regardless of the state of my marriage. I shouldn't have done that and hate that I hurt my ex and everyone else who was affected by those choices in that way. I have two young kids who are my world and I have so much anxiety around how to tell them this all when they are older. I want to be honest and transparent and just own it and take accountability, but I'm so scared that they will hate me, which I know is a consequence I should have thought about prior, but the thought of losing a relationship with them someday is honestly crippling and I don't know how to deal with that. I need advice on how to talk to my kids about it eventually and I don't even think feel like I deserve to get rid of the anxiety and shame feeling. But if anyone can give me advice on how to deal with that too, that would be great. There's a lot more I could say, but I'm trying to keep this as short as I can. But to all those that have been cheated on, I'm really sorry. There's no excuse for it. I had the option to leave without cheating and I so stupidly didn't take it.
Leah
First of all, I would just like to say that her guilt eating her alive is punishment enough. And I. She already knows what she did and she, you know, that's, that's on her moral compass to me. I'm, I'm listening to this and I don't think it's as bad as she thinks it is. So her own guilt is punishment enough. And I honestly don't think that her kids are gonna hate her for that at all. But two, I say this for, for almost everything when people ask me for advice. Like my therapist would tell you to write a letter, Write a letter to your kids, date it. Talk about your feelings, talk about the state of your marriage when you did what you did, how you felt since you did what you did. I think if your kids understand that you feel guilty for that choice and that you live with regret like that that is going to tell them much more about who you are as a person.
Becky
Yeah, I read it and I, like, I'm a judgy person in my mind. Like, I don't judge people in like a malicious way, but like, obviously we all judge people like in scenarios and I'm very sensitive to cheating and things of those sorts. I read that and I'm like, that's not cheating. Like, y' all ended that relationship a while ago. That man had like, had his chance to like fight for his marriage, which obviously he never did. Like, like, I don't think, I think that, I don't know, I don't feel.
Leah
As if like the fear of her kids, not like I think her feelings on all of it. And her asking for advice speaks volumes about who she is. And her one little quote unquote cheating mistake is not determined. Like everything else speaks more, more about who she is as a person for sure.
Becky
A lot of people are saying, like, why are you even worried? Like, why do you have to tell your kids? Like, that's not even something that they need to know.
Leah
And I would agree. I think that that would be like a minor detail. Like I don't think if the marriage was already over before that occurred. But if she does want to like give full contact, she has a right to do that. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't. I just don't know that I would just like willy nilly bring them up because you had to be there. You know what I mean? Like, you had to be a part, understand. And I don't think that on my child, I, I think that she's, she could go through, go to therapy and work through this.
Becky
Yeah, I felt bad for her. I felt bad that she had like so much like guilt with that guilt and like she even said her relationship was toxic and that, that's like, like that guilt is stemming from that toxicity as well.
Leah
Right.
Becky
Like you feel guilty for hurting. I don't. It just like I, I, this is one of those times I just really just don't like men, you know?
Leah
I mean, do, does anyone? Like, like what is like, I feel like we're taking 20 steps backwards having to be attracted to these creatures. Do you know what I mean?
Becky
No, I don't.
Leah
Oh, because you're not attracted to them.
Becky
Yeah.
Leah
Like, think about putting like a dick in your mouth.
Becky
Oh my God. Kill trigger warning everyone. Sorry.
Leah
I just did a rainbow Curves try on haul that I posted on Karma and Chaos. It's like me styling our merch with Rainbow Curves. And they did message me. I did not know that they were so heavily involved in the LGBTQIA + community, and I'm obsessed with them. But at Walmart, this is the activewear that Walmart uses for curvy women. They have stretch friendly bras, leggings, biker shorts, and pants in sizes 14 to 32. I have everything just listed here. And we know how hard it is to find Curve friendly things that aren't see through on your butt. And that's why Rainbow Curves was created.
Becky
You shouldn't have to compromise style or fit, and now you don't have to. Thanks to Rainbow Curve. I also got mine in and I wore the leggings. I know I'm not a big legging person, but I did put them on and they were really comfortable. And they created this for curvy girls like me and like you. And it's cute activewear that celebrates our shape and does not hide it. It has unbeatable price. All of their garments are just under $15, where you can build a set for under $30. Bras and leggings come in black, purple, green, gray, and navy.
Leah
They have moisture wicking fabric to keep you cool and dry during any workout, like Becky was talking about. And you guys can shop these at Walmart. The Rainbow Curves team is led by women, and it's also LGBTQ + LED, which is so nice to shop. Rainbow curves go to bit.ly/reign social to purchase. Again, that's bit.ly rainsocial.
Becky
Being attracted to men. Can we just all take a moment.
Leah
To, like, appreciate women?
Becky
No, I do that a lot. But, like, Jojo Siwa is still in it.
Leah
Wait, what is she doing? What is she up to?
Becky
She's still dating that guy.
Leah
Oh. I mean, I'm not here to, like, judge, but, like, what's wrong with that?
Becky
No, there's nothing wrong. It's just, like, really fascinating because, like, in my mind, right, like, I have, like, no issue with someone changing their mind of sexuality and, like, blah, blah. It was just, like, because they had met on TV in Big Brother in a very, like, confined quarters of, like, no world around them, right? Like, that's an unrealistic place of, like, having a relationship or I don't even. And we obviously don't even know what happened there. But, like, it is so interesting to me that they left there and still have a successful relationship.
Leah
You know, I have always said that, like, I don't understand how partners can be best friends. Like, would you call Leah your best friend? Yeah, I've never experienced that. I also, with that in mind, feel like if the romantic aspect of being with my best friend was removed, I would still want to be in that relationship with my best friend. Because even though it's maybe platonic or lavender, I would still want that companionship. So maybe they're not like romantically in love. Like, maybe they're just best friends.
Becky
We just had this conversation literally like last year and you were like, no, no way that you can have a best friend. It doesn't make any sense. Like, why would I want to be with someone? Look at you now. You're on my side of things.
Leah
Well, because I've never. Like how. What do you mean? You're in a best. You're in a relationship with your best friend. Like, you're not. You're either.
Becky
I was just like, I was laying in bed last night giggling with Leah over a tick tock. Like, that was so fun.
Leah
But lesbians are different because like it's. I meant like with a man. And like, also for gay couples, like male homosexuals, like, could they be best friends or is that like, I don't know, double, triple standard?
Becky
I don't get men, so don't ask me. Why don't you ask your son?
Leah
Which one?
Becky
The gay one.
Leah
I'll ask him. Like, what do you. Do you think that you could date your best friend? I don't know.
Becky
Oh, we should definitely get his opinion.
Leah
He's very particular about things in life.
Becky
Like, I don't should be.
Leah
I would be so curious to hear what he has to say about that.
Becky
Yeah. Anyhow, I was. And speaking of giggling in bed with Leah last night, have you seen the new. I feel like I'm on a weird side of TikTok. No one ever. It is on. Have you seen the tiktoks of people making themselves have one tooth?
Leah
No, but Lux would laugh. Lux would love that.
Becky
So I think they're so funny. And there is this one and it's tip. It's typically like, like a person like making themselves have one tooth. And it's always like this one or like one of the big teeth. And then there was this one yesterday. The girl was like going through and scanning all of her teeth to see which one she wanted to do. The comment was like, oh, she's looking for options or something. Like, it's so funny.
Leah
Why do people do like that?
Becky
I don't know.
Leah
First of All Rio would die. Rio would love that. Rio has the little fugglers that have real looking teeth.
Becky
Yeah.
Leah
And he's like, look. And I'm like, well, how many teeth do you have? And he's like, 35, so he would love that.
Becky
So I had a very. I think we've talked about this before. I have, like, really realistic dreams, and then sometimes I wake up from dreams. Anyway, I had a really. You were in my dream last two nights ago. Yeah, it wasn't, like, good or bad. My parents used to have 80 acres of property, and, like, that's. It's not where I grew up. It's the last house I lived in in high school. And I always have dreams about that property and buying it back. Like, it. Like, always. I always have dreams about going and visiting a house and seeing how much more they build there and all the things. And so two nights ago, I had a dream of that, and it was so realistic that I woke up and went to Zillow to see if the house was for sale. And. But in the dream prior to me going to visit, that you and I went and visit. Visited a candy shop. And you loved this candy shop so much that you invested in the company and you've like.
Leah
Yeah.
Becky
But you invested in this company. And so I wanted you to buy the house with me in my dream, and you couldn't because you invested in the candy company.
Leah
Okay.
Becky
Yeah. And so I was like, damn. Like, I. Like, who else? It's. It was because the house in my dream was for sale for, like, 1.5 million. And I was like, oh, can't afford that. Maybe Kale wants to have a vacation home and she'll go in with it.
Leah
Wait, that sounds good. And we did a whole, like, I. I was really sad because you had said that the. The person that. Where that taco place was that we went to, like, when we went there, and I was like, oh, my God, this is such. I know it's not the same property, but, like, cool to invest in. Same vibe.
Becky
Yeah, same vibe.
Leah
So well, I love dream. I feel like this is foreshadowing business endeavors in the future.
Becky
And also, happy one year.
Leah
Happy one year.
Becky
We really near the karmarus.
Leah
And we won two awards in our first year of podcasting together. I'm officially a lesbian.
Becky
It's all up from here.
Leah
Oh, speaking of lesbian karma.
Becky
Chaos. Lesbian.
Leah
But anyways, what else is on your list to talk about today?
Becky
Okay, so I've been doing this new thing at night, and Leah really thinks it's disgusting and, like, judges me for it. So I'm trying to lose the weight from this dead embryo that the dead embryo gave me. And so sometimes I get hungry at night. And so instead of eating, like I want to do, I make myself a decaf coffee and I bring it to bed with me, and I drink a decaf coffee at night, and I do it almost every night now because I really enjoy it. Is that weird?
Leah
No, I don't think it's. I. I don't understand how you're losing weight that way. I don't.
Becky
I'm just avoiding gaining weight because I'm not eating. Like, instead of eating, I'm drinking the coffee.
Leah
Why does she think that's disgusting?
Becky
She thinks it's so weird. She's. She's like, why are you drinking a coffee? I'm like, people drink tea at night. So, like, she thinks it's weird. I agree with you. I'm glad that we're on the same side on this.
Leah
Yeah, no, for sure. I think that it's fine. It's different. I wouldn't know that. I don't say that it's weird, but I thought you were trying to use cough. I thought you were gonna say something sick and foul. So, like, I really. This isn't weird at all.
Becky
I appreciate that. And that's all that I wanted to talk about on that topic. But I do have some other topics that I'd love to talk.
Leah
Sometimes I wonder which one of us has adhd.
Becky
I don't have adhd.
Leah
I very much have adhd.
Becky
I like. I. I guess, like, maybe there's some factors of life, but, like, I have zero issue, like, making things go to completion, like, finishing a project, multitasking, remembering to do things, being on time.
Leah
What's it like to be God's favorite?
Becky
But I do, like, jump topics. Like, my brain kind of goes all over the place, but, like, not in, like, a bad way. I don't know. I was thinking about this the other day in therapy. I had therapy shout out, hey, Jen, if you. If you're listening. I don't even know if she knows. I. Anyway.
Leah
Therapist today. Hey, Dr. Burrows. She's gonna be like, what the kale?
Becky
Does she listen?
Leah
Probably not.
Becky
I think that as a country or as a society, as a world, that there should be a disbursement of payment for therapy to the people that you talk about in therapy.
Leah
What?
Becky
So, like, if I talk about my mom in therapy, or if I talk about you in therapy, or if I talk about Leah in therapy, that they should get billed for it, for bringing things that needed to be talked about in therapy. And time.
Leah
I read something that says we go to therapy to talk about the people who actually need the therapy. Yeah, 100 related. Harder. Not saying that I don't need it, because I absolutely do. But, like, the people that I'm actively working through issues with also need it and nothing's working.
Becky
So I always talk like I was talking about a person I know and I was sitting there thinking like the whole therapy session was about this person and my, like, frustrations around this situation. And I'm thinking to myself, I just spent 200 talking about this person. They should have to pay for it. Imagine just randomly getting a bill in the mail, like, not, not knowing who is talking about you.
Leah
You know what the first step is acknowledging the problem. Right? And so we're in therapy because we're acknowledging that we need help and we need, you know, help with whatever. They're not in therapy. They're never going to think that they're the problem. Foreign I've gotta say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world. And for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. And that's billion with a B. But here's the thing. Most vacation rental hosts don't even realize they can list their properties on booking.com and if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of Booking.com travelers worldwide. After all, they can't book what they can't see, right? But once you start listing on booking.com, your property gets seen by a massive global audience of unique travelers. That means more visibility, more bookings, and more opportunity to accelerate the growth of your rental business. And it couldn't be any easier. You can register your property in as little as 15 minutes, and nearly half the hosts get their first booking within a week. So if your vacation rental isn't listed on booking.com, it could be invisible to millions of travelers searching the platform. Don't miss out on consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com what pisses me off the most about conversations around therapy is when people tell me that my therapy is not working. People tell you that the comments that I get on a regular basis about how I talk about therapy and that it's not working. And I need to fire my therapist or my therapist as a yes man. I'm just like therapy and like, healing is not linear. It's not. And that doesn't mean that I'm going to be a perfect human being moving forward. It just means that I know now more when I up.
Becky
Yeah, I. I think that it's good that you go to therapy.
Leah
Yeah, I had therapy yesterday. I didn't cry yesterday. I had a really good session. I didn't wear makeup because I thought I was gonna cry and then I didn't.
Becky
Do you know what the is going on with Tick Tock and why are there so many. Why I'm scrolling. Why are there so many texts like mess. Like written texts on. On my.
Leah
That was. There was a feature that they were trying to roll out and it's stupid.
Becky
I hate it.
Leah
Well, so they were trying to. They were pushing out the creators that were using that feature first. They were like pushing them out to get more views and Stu hate it. I don't think that that's what Tick Tock is for. So it's like I just hated it. Yeah, it should go away because it doesn't. In my opinion. It didn't work.
Becky
I don't know if this is. I don't. I don't know what.
Leah
Isn't Tick Tock allegedly going away again?
Becky
No, I thought that it was sold to somewhere in the US it got sold. I thought like, there's like a company that like now will, like, the data will be stored here. That's how they were able to make it work. I don't know. There was a. There was a Tick Tock. Maybe it was. Or Instagram. I thought this was such an interesting fact. Might not be a fact. I didn't look it up. Did not Fact check. Doesn't do any harm if I say it out loud that Burger King when they launched their onion rings, that they weren't selling when they first launched onion rings. And so.
Leah
Becky, I just need you to time out one second. I know we talk about a lot of things on this podcast. Why are we talking about Burger King's onion?
Becky
Just me.
Leah
Some backstory on why this would be like, I love Burger King soggy ass onion rings. Okay. Like, I will always eat them.
Becky
You. You like them?
Leah
Yeah.
Becky
Interesting. I. My dad loved them. I'm not a big onion ring.
Leah
Are one in the same?
Becky
Yeah, there's a. There's a reason I'm saying this. So when Burger King released their onion rings, they did not sell. So to help Increase sales of the onion rings. They microdosed people of onion rings by putting onion rings, like, they'll. They put a loose onion ring in the fry. In a fry bag so that people would get a little taste of it, and then they would then encourage them to go back and buy them.
Leah
Wait, is that fraud? Is that, like, fraudulent?
Becky
I don't think so. I think that's great marketing.
Leah
They put it in the burger.
Becky
No, in the fry bag. So when someone ordered fries, there'd be a loose onion ring. Yeah.
Leah
Wait, that is genius. I know marketing, because if you only put one or two in each one, like, Yes, I will say they are like. They are soggy, but they're good.
Becky
I literally never had a Burger King onion ring.
Leah
No, they're good. They're, like, salty. And they don't even, like. If you don't like onions or onion rings, you'll like the Burger King ones because they're actually really good.
Becky
Okay. I'll probably never try them.
Leah
You were to start a restaurant, what would you. What would you. What would the cuisine be?
Becky
I'd probably open up a ramen place.
Leah
I would open up an Indian restaurant.
Becky
Indian food. Like tiki masala?
Leah
Yeah. On buttered chicken.
Becky
You love Indian food.
Leah
I do. It's so good. I told. Did I tell you guys the story about the. Why I can't go to the Indian place around here? I won't go there because I'm embarrassed. And there's. Maybe there's another Indian spot I could go to, but I think that one was, like, the more recommended one. Anyways, I digress.
Becky
Who do you think picks the generation names? What the generation names? Who do you think?
Ali Jackson
Huh?
Leah
What is a generation name?
Becky
Like, weird millennials. Like, millennial millennials. Like Gen Z. The new generation is Gen Alpha.
Leah
Could someone. Could you look up what my children are?
Becky
Groups like Pew Research center, the US Consensus Bureau, or Marketing and Sociology Researches, researchers often define generations when studying social trends. They create date ranges based on shared historical culture or technological experiences. For example, who came of age during 9, 11, or the rise of the. That's interesting. Okay. Isaac is Gen Z. Link is Gen Alpha. Lux is Gen Alpha. Creed is Gen Alpha. Rio is Gen Alpha. And Verse and Valley are Gen Alpha.
Leah
What years does Gen Alpha go?
Becky
Gen alpha is 2013 to 2025.
Leah
Wow.
Becky
I thought this. I thought they named this next generation Beta.
Leah
I thought they did, too. Alpha and then Beta.
Becky
But, like, that's up, isn't it?
Leah
That is up because it's like, why is that one? You know? What the craziest part of all of this, like, now that we're more aware and then there's social media, so we're all like, able to communicate and, and have these communities with like minded people. It's really interesting because if you look at like all the different generations of time where things were going on, right? So like for several generations, like the male was the like, provider, the woman was the homemaker, right? And then as time goes on.
Becky
We.
Leah
Are collectively as a society more aware of certain things, like generational trauma, generational. You know, we're talking about therapy and mental health and we're talking about all these things, right? And so in so many ways we are making progress and moving forward. But then I feel like on the other hand, and in the same breath we are taking so many steps backwards as well with things like technology is a blessing and a curse because it's helping us build these communities where we're, where we're seeing other people and like creating another way to make money and things like that. But then it also is making our kids so stupid and it's just such a weird place to be in life, right? Like, the kids are not going outside, they're not playing, they're not doing these things. But in so many ways we're pushing forward. I don't know, it just feels so weird. It's like nuanced.
Becky
It for sure is. And I don't think I like it.
Leah
But like, is there not a world where we can have both, where we're making progress in terms of like conversations of mental health and like, you know, understanding blended families and like these big, like.
Becky
I don't think that there is a unfortunate. Like, I unfortunately don't think that there is a world because there's just so much hate and negativity that it like ruins everything, you know?
Leah
I don't get it. I literally don't get it.
Becky
Like, there's just always gonna be people mad at the wrong people, that blame the wrong people for their shortcomings in life.
Leah
I more so mean like the Internet and like technology ruining so like all these advances that were make as making as a society in terms of conversations surrounding mental health, having more access to therapy, you know, all of those things, right? Like, and then we have technology that is a blessing and a curse, but it's more of a curse at this point. Does that just what I'm saying make sense or am I just not making sense at all?
Becky
I'm not picking up what you're putting down, but I'm sure, some, someone here.
Leah
Will, like, maybe someone, maybe someone listening will understand. Like, we're making so many advances collect, like, from a, from a societal standpoint, but then we're taking 100 steps back with the increasing of technology because it's making us dumber, it's making us stupid, making us lose brain cells because we're.
Becky
Consuming so much stuff.
Leah
Yeah. Online.
Becky
Yeah. Like, we're, our attention spans are shorter.
Leah
We don't have to, like, critically think anymore. But then it also brings us together because we're finding other people to, like, normalize. I just forget it. I, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
Becky
I think I am picking up what you're putting down now. But, like, it's just such a hard thing to even conceptualize of how to fix. Right. Like, I, I, it all comes down, I think, just to, like, how you parent, I guess, like, sparking interest in things outside of, like, the virtual world. Like raising kids that use the Internet the right way and not always consuming the wrong things. I, I used to go to colleges and speak English and, like, I would always talk about the use of social media. Right. Like, you can't prevent a child from consuming social, like, social things, but, like, you could encourage them to sprinkle in. Like, I, what I would say was, yeah, you're gonna have memes and all these, like, funny accounts that you're following, but you should always also add someone in that you want to be when you're older so that you can be content consuming, like, something good with the chaos.
Leah
I'm not talking about, like, parenting and kids. I'm talking about, like, as a society, like, collectively. And, like, they're sending kids home with Chromebooks in first grade. And like, everything is done on a computer. And like, we're just losing brain cells because all we, all these kids have to do is, like, Google the. And they don't have, they can't form an educated opinion because everything is done for them. And so, like, like, while we are taking huge steps moving forward as a society and like, the next generation is everything is online. They don't have to think critically. They don't have to think.
Becky
So, like, I think if there's just a change in education, like, the issue is, is that there's so many people that try to, like, prevent you from using, like, AI, from using the Internet. And that's not the answer to it. The answer is how can we adjust how we teach them to use it instead of trying to. That's the same thing as, like, Abstinence, Right? Like, when we were younger, they would teach us abstinence. Was this the safest way? Instead of teaching us how to use protection? Right. Like, I think it's. It's similar in nature. We're just. We haven't learned how to teach it because you can't stop someone from using the Internet, but can you teach them how to use it more efficiently? Right. Like, the critical thinking is lies there.
Leah
I just, if I'm being honest, I love that my kids don't have iPads. I love. I hate that they have Chromebooks for school. I want them to be out. Yesterday I told Lux, I'm like, all right, when we get in the house, like, we need to do our homework and stuff because we have basketball and soccer tonight. Like, we need to get what we got to get done. He goes, can I go touch grass? Like, because he didn't want to do his work. It was like, can I go outside? Like, can I?
Becky
That's really funny.
Leah
I just looked at him. I go, yeah, go. Just go.
Becky
Please go. Enjoy touching grass. All right, let's. Do we have a karma or chaos?
Leah
Okay, Am I serving karma or creating chaos? Send help or maybe don't. So my ex husband, as of earlier this year, is engaged, living together as a blended family, and has a baby on the way. Well, new fiance is an ex that never exactly went away, if you know what I mean. Well, her ex husband and baby daddy was one of. Was the one that informed me years ago when catching them in an emotional affair, which was actually the last straw of their marriage. I stayed dumb, I know. But back to the point, baby dad is fine. Like, fine fine. Do I let this man be my friends with benefits? He's made it clear he's all about it. Or at least get a taste and serve a little karma. Or do I stay far, far away?
Becky
This seems chaotic.
Leah
Here's the thing. I would never be able to have friends with benefits with someone because I would be emotionally attached right away. Call it codependency, call it I need therapy. I don't know. So that wouldn't work for me. If you think that you could keep it strictly friends with benefits, I say go for it. But I would warn you that if the feelings develop and this becomes like an actual relationship, that's going to be a mess.
Becky
I mean, or there's gonna be chaos of co parenting because you're her ex husband.
Leah
My uncle and aunt got divorced and are also dating exes.
Becky
Exes.
Leah
Yeah. So, like, the husband and wife divorced.
Becky
And how did it work for them?
Leah
They're great, but they're also in a different tax bracket. We're talking about lawyers and doctors. And I don't think you're serving karma.
Becky
I think you're serving pure chaos. It could end up great, could end up bad.
Leah
I'm not saying don't do it. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying that it's definitely carmactic. Wait, not carmactic. It's definitely chaotic.
Becky
Yeah, definitely chaotic. And that's all she wrote, folks. Thanks for joining us on another episode of Karma and Chaos.
Leah
Where can we find you?
Becky
Hater 25 for the haters. New episodes every Monday. If you need something due on Mondays.
Leah
Yeah, we love you.
Becky
Love ya.
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Lauren or Chandler
Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.
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If you're a podcast host, listen up. This one's for you. My name is Ali Jackson. I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing for four years now. Sharing my positive and practical approach to dating that's built on my own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had. My secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in ad sales. It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently too, my Red Circle Team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media to really augment the podcast partnerships. Bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's redcircle.com for a free trial.
Podcast: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: Kail Lowry ("Leah" in transcript) & Becky Hayter
Episode: One-Year Anniversary Special
Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter celebrate their podcast’s one-year milestone by reflecting on the unpredictability of life, friendship, the complexities of parenthood, navigating online trolls, and the paradoxes of modern adulthood and technology. With their usual blend of raw honesty, relatable experiences, and humor, they connect with listeners through stories about family, relationships, mental health, and trends in pop culture and society.
This anniversary episode encapsulates the heart of "Karma & Chaos": honest, unfiltered conversations about the real chaos—and joy—of life, parenting, and friendship. Kail and Becky’s chemistry, perspective, and knack for finding humor in tough moments make even the heavier topics feel accessible and, above all, human. Whether sharing advice, roasting trolls, or laughing about pop culture, they create a space where listeners feel seen, supported, and entertained.