Are The Karmaroos Smarter Than A Fifth Grader

Summary

Episode Summary: "Are The Karmaroos Smarter Than A Fifth Grader"

In this engaging episode of Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter, hosts Kail and Becky delve into a variety of topics that blend humor, personal insights, and thoughtful discussions. The episode features a lively trivia challenge, an in-depth conversation about financial arrangements in marriage, the importance of networking, and reflections on therapy and mental health. Below is a detailed breakdown of the key segments, complete with notable quotes and timestamps.

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1. Life Swap Scenario [00:13 - 05:01]

The episode kicks off with Kail posing a fun and thought-provoking question to Becky: "If we had to swap lives for a week, what's the first thing you would do?" This lighthearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, revealing the differences in their daily responsibilities and lifestyles.

• Kail [02:22]: "I would wake up and I would have a morning on the couch with all of your kids."
• Becky [02:54]: "The thought of you sleeping next to Leah in my bed makes it like... Is. I'm screaming, laughing in my head right now."

Through humorous banter, they explore the chaos and joys of each other's lives, highlighting their deep friendship and mutual understanding.

2. Trivia Challenge: Are The Karmaroos Smarter Than A Fifth Grader [13:21 - 35:11]

Transitioning into a spirited trivia game, Kail, Becky, and their guest Kristen test each other's knowledge with a series of questions designed to mimic the popular game show format. This segment is both entertaining and insightful, showcasing their competitive spirits and varying levels of expertise.

Sample Questions and Responses:

• Kristen [15:07]: "A word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same forward and backward is called a palindrome."

  • Becky [15:45]: "So I thought, like, race car. Kayak."

• Kristen [16:25]: "What is the process of water turning into vapor called?"

  • Becky [16:27]: "Condensation."
  • Kail [16:33]: "No, evaporation."

• Kristen [21:22]: "Who painted the Mona Lisa?"

  • Becky [25:23]: "Leonardo da Vinci."

Throughout the trivia, moments of laughter and friendly teasing abound, particularly around questions like "What word reads the same forward and backward?" leading to playful frustration and camaraderie.

• Kristen [15:37]: "Palindrome."
• Becky [16:43]: "Kayak."
• Kail [17:42]: "Neil Armstrong."

3. Financial Arrangements in Marriage [35:11 - 43:30]

After the trivia interlude, Kail and Becky transition into a more serious discussion about managing finances within marriages. They share personal experiences and strategies, emphasizing the importance of finding a system that works for both partners.

• Becky [36:02]: "We keep everything separate, but not for any particular reason. It's just that we've only been together for three years and we didn't... Our assets are all separate."
• Kail [37:00]: "We have one mutual account that we each put an X amount of money into each month. And that's where all of our mutual things come out of."

They discuss various models, such as separate accounts with a shared mutual account for joint expenses, and the flexibility of contributing percentages based on income disparities.

• Kail [39:08]: "We just put the equal amount. But I have, I know people that, that have very different... they do a percentage. So they do like 30% of each other's income goes into a mutual account."
• Becky [40:01]: "If we were to open a bank account, I kind of like your idea of each of us putting in a percentage of our income."

The conversation highlights the benefits of open communication and adaptability in financial planning, ensuring both partners feel fairly treated and supported.

4. The Importance of Connections and Networking [43:30 - 55:48]

Kail and Becky delve into the significance of networking and how connections can shape one's career trajectory. They share anecdotes about mentors and the pivotal moments that opened doors to professional opportunities.

• Kail [51:53]: "That's why making connections and meeting people is so important and being intentional with those meetings."
• Becky [52:25]: "If one person in something in a world that you wanted to... gave you a chance, it could change your... the trajectory to your entire life."

They emphasize that while skills and knowledge are crucial, the relationships we build often play a more significant role in career advancement and personal growth.

• Becky [54:27]: "Sometimes I think he gave me a chance with Teen Mom and like, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them giving."
• Kail [55:24]: "That's why making connections and meeting people is so important..."

5. Therapy and Mental Health [55:48 - 62:10]

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation shifts to the topic of therapy and mental health. Becky opens up about her experiences with therapy, the challenges of finding the right fit, and the importance of seeking help when needed.

• Becky [56:10]: "I haven't gone in a long time. I need to go back. I wonder if she would still... if the same therapist would be a good fit at the place that I am in my life right now."
• Kail [57:18]: "Sometimes I think Lindsay all the time... because the name on the wall doesn't mean to me. That means more to me than that."

They discuss the evolving nature of therapy needs and the significance of finding a therapist who aligns with one's current life circumstances.

• Becky [57:19]: "I had some tough sessions... I wouldn't say they were awkward."
• Kail [56:09]: "You just haven't gone."

Notable Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Kail and Becky blend humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners a relatable look into the complexities of adult life. Key takeaways include:

• Mutual Respect in Financial Matters: Finding a financial arrangement that respects both partners' contributions and financial situations is crucial for marital harmony.

• Value of Networking: Building and maintaining meaningful connections can significantly impact career opportunities and personal development.

• Prioritizing Mental Health: Regular therapy and being open to seeking help are essential for maintaining mental well-being, especially during transitional life phases.

• Balancing Relationships: Setting boundaries and recognizing when relationships are no longer mutually beneficial helps in maintaining a healthy social circle.

Conclusion

"Are The Karmaroos Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" is a testament to Kail and Becky's ability to balance lighthearted fun with substantive conversations. Their candidness about personal experiences and challenges provides listeners with both entertainment and valuable insights into managing friendships, finances, and personal growth in the chaotic tapestry of adult life.

Notable Quotes:

• Becky [36:02]: "We keep everything separate... our assets are all separate."
• Kail [39:08]: "They do like 30% of each other's income goes into a mutual account."
• Becky [52:25]: "If one person... gave you a chance, it could change your... the trajectory to your entire life."
• Becky [56:10]: "I need to go back. I wonder if she would still... if the same therapist would be a good fit..."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting the dynamic interplay between humor and meaningful dialogue that defines Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter.

Transcript

[Kale]

Get the Angel REEF special at McDonald's.

[Becky]

Now, let's break it down.

[Alessandra]

My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink.

[Kale]

Sound good.

[Becky]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time. What's up, everybody?

[Kale]

What's up, everyone? And welcome back to the show.

[Becky]

Welcome to the show. I'm a tired girly.

[Kale]

I feel great.

[Becky]

I'm glad. I'm so glad. And I loved. I loved you coming to New York.

[Kale]

We always have the best time.

[Becky]

No, we do. We always laugh a lot. This specific time, we laughed until we cried. Everyone in the room laughed and it was great. But I. This is the last day of my work trip and I'm ready to go home.

[Kale]

Yeah. Your podcast out.

[Becky]

I'm peopled out. And I'm gonna go home and be with little people.

[Kale]

Yeah. I. I do have a. A question for you.

[Becky]

Sure.

[Kale]

That if we had to swap lives for sw. Wait, if not wives, if we had to swap lives for a week, what's the first thing that you would do? In my life. No, in my life, I don't sleep.

[Becky]

Would we have to swap responsibilities?

[Kale]

Yes. Like, I'm doing what you're doing.

[Becky]

You get fired.

[Kale]

Like.

[Becky]

Like, I would attempt. I would attempt to go to work for you and they would immediately say, kale, what the are you doing? And you'd be fired. You have no job. Like, this would be like, you know how they did Wife. Wife swap.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

If we did life swap.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I would go for a walk with your cats.

[Kale]

That's true.

[Becky]

I would go for a walk with your cats.

[Kale]

You would love that.

[Becky]

Wake up in the morning and you'd get fired. So it would just be. It would be chaotic. What would you do first? Like, what would be the first thing that you do? In my life?

[Kale]

I would wake up and I would have a morning on the couch with all of your kids.

[Becky]

Okay, so we're talking like a Saturday. Sunday, probably Sunday morning. Because Saturday morning is chaotic.

[Kale]

Well, I. Even a school morning, I'd wake up, get them ready for school.

[Becky]

What time would you wake up?

[Kale]

Seven.

[Becky]

No, you have to leave the house by 7:30.

[Kale]

Okay. I would wake up at 6.

[Becky]

Fair. Okay.

[Kale]

I would give Elijah a little kiss on the forehead.

[Becky]

Oh, okay. And then you would.

[Kale]

The thought of you sleeping next to Leah in my bed makes it like. Is. I'm screaming, laughing in my head right now. Just like. You guys would be so uncomfortable.

[Becky]

It would be the weirdest experience of my life. It would Be. And I love Leah.

[Kale]

No. Yeah.

[Becky]

But it would definitely be different. It would be weird.

[Kale]

Yeah. And Leah moans in her sleep. So like you would be like what's going on? Yeah, that's how you know she's sleeping. She just like automatically moans.

[Becky]

Would you let the chickens out first or would you let Elijah do that?

[Kale]

I would let Elijah do that. Not a big farm responsibilities, person.

[Kristen]

Big farmer.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Big farmer Becky. Big old farmer Becky.

[Kristen]

Big old farmer Becky.

[Kale]

I would be fine in your life. I think I would be able to, you know, take over all the podcast record. I wouldn't be able to do as good of a job yet. I wouldn't be able to do that in a week.

[Becky]

But do you think in a week you have to. You have like six recordings a week?

[Kale]

No, I wouldn't be able to do it as well as you just in a week of doing it.

[Becky]

Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Like takes, take some time.

[Kale]

You're really good at being the person that's needed in different. And I don't know how you do six recordings a week.

[Becky]

It's not every week. Yeah, like this week was a lot. Yeah, this week actually is like, like nine. Like seven.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Cuz three with you. Three for Barely Famous and then I had a double recording for Coffee Combo. So two, five. That's eight. Eight episodes this week.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

That's a lot. Yeah. But this will help me out because when we record in person and do multiple episodes it is very helpful for me because then I don't. Because they're like at weird times in the. During the day and like to be able to go like with my kids and stuff like that. But I would love to see you like, I would love to have it filmed like for you to come to my house and just do like. What would you do?

[Kale]

I know what I wouldn't do. And I wouldn't be contemplating building a new house or not.

[Becky]

You just make it work.

[Kale]

Yeah, I would just be happy and happy in my home.

[Becky]

The boys boxing coach called me earlier and he was like, so the boys are at their dad's for. Because if it's his weekend and then they don't have school on Monday, they stay for that Monday and they stay until 6pm well boxing is typically at 4:30 or 5 and so I, I texted Ray and I was like, hey, like the boys are going to be at their dad's and then they have a scrimmage for soccer on Wednesday. So we won't be able to do Monday or Wednesday. Like what day Works for you to, like, make it up. And he's like, I, I don't know. Like, let's figure it out. I don't want you to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. And I said, ray, that's what I do every day. Like, that's not. Do you know what I mean? Like, that is regular day. That's baseline. That's baseline. So say all that to say, I would love to see you try. I think you would be successful.

[Kale]

Yeah. I think you would enjoy the piece of my life, at least right now.

[Becky]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, even one baby is.

[Kale]

I think you'd. You'd be like, wow, Leah does sleep a lot.

[Becky]

And that's okay. I would sleep right, right there on the couch.

[Kale]

You would be just napping together.

[Becky]

Napping. Nothing's getting done.

[Kale]

I'm not a napper, so. But she always wants me to nap with her. And I, like, I wake up angry from naps.

[Becky]

I, I have not napped in a long time, but I tried to get on ADHD medicine and for whatever reason, it. I took it for seven days and I was so tired that I was like, yes, I cannot do this. So I took myself off of it one of the days I took a two hour nap and I don't take naps anymore since I've been depressed. You know what I mean? So. Okay. Anyway, moving on.

[Kale]

Yeah. What are some. What are some TV shows that you think that you could do well on?

[Becky]

Like, like a cameo?

[Kale]

No, not like.

[Becky]

No, I want to be an actress. Fake actress. So bad.

[Kale]

No, like game shows.

[Becky]

Game show. I would do fantastic on Family Feud.

[Kale]

Really?

[Becky]

Yeah. I love it. I love Family Feud so much.

[Kale]

Would you do well on Survivor?

[Becky]

No, but I'll do it.

[Kale]

Would you do well on Fear Factor?

[Becky]

No, but I'll do it. Would you do well naked and afraid? No, but I'll do it. Do it in front of your boss.

[Kale]

Is that from something?

[Becky]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Kale]

It's okay.

[Becky]

What show would you do well?

[Kale]

Amanda really thinks I would do well on Big Brother. And it was funny because they are doing. They're opening auditions right now for the show.

[Becky]

Should we both audition?

[Kale]

I just, I cannot imagine you have to be, like, okay with being away for a hundred days.

[Kristen]

I would.

[Kale]

I don't know how much money that would be worth for me to not see Leah for a hundred days. That would make me so sad.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

A hundred days, not seeing her.

[Becky]

I really. Your partner, like, you couldn't go 100 days without seeing her. I could but like Alessandra shaking her head too. Could you be away from Billy for 100 days? I could be. I could be away from Elijah for 100 days. But like, we've.

[Kristen]

I've like always traveled without him. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale]

Like, I'm like such like a. I would feel un. Not loved. Like, I need like touch to feel loved and like, just like a hug or a kiss on the forehead. 100 days.

[Becky]

I could do 100 days. Could you do special forces?

[Kale]

No, I have a torn acl.

[Becky]

Oh, well, they. Special forces is not anything that you couldn't like. It's like falling backwards out of a helicopter. Helicopter. Into the ocean.

[Kale]

Like, oh, yeah, I could do that.

[Becky]

Yeah, same. Like, I would. I would love to be special Forces.

[Kale]

I feel like I would be okay on Fear Factor because unless it was sharks, but I feel like they want know things that you're afraid of. And then I have really, really bad senses from the nose, so if I smell something bad, like, I'll gag. Yeah.

[Becky]

Would you do the mask singer? Yeah, I would too. I'd be Shrek or the Hulk Erotica.

[Kale]

You should do the masked singer.

[Becky]

I know I auditioned, but.

[Kale]

Did you.

[Becky]

They didn't pick me.

[Kale]

Did you really?

[Becky]

Yeah. Like, I was asked to audition. Like, it wasn't like I was just like willy nilly submitting myself singing. Right. Like, I was asked by an agent to send a video of me singing, and I did, and then I never heard back. So I assumed that was a no.

[Kale]

Do we have the video?

[Becky]

Absolutely not. And I would never in million years let anyone listen to it unless I got the show, the gig.

[Kale]

I think that we need to see it. How much money?

[Becky]

No, I literally don't even have it. It's on my old phone.

[Kale]

Oh, that's unfortunate. Speaking of game shows, let's talk about it. I think that we should maybe do a little quiz this episode.

[Becky]

Trivia, if you will.

[Kale]

Trivia, Trivia, if you will. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? If you will. I am, actually. I, I. We talked about doing this last episode. I'm having full regrets.

[Becky]

I'm not. I'm confident.

[Kale]

I just. Okay. I need to set the stage for everyone. I am smart about things that I know. I went to college. I got my master's. I am smart in my world. Marketing in digital marketing in. In that and common sense.

[Becky]

If only there was a degree for that.

[Kale]

School did not come easy to me. I had to try very hard to get passing grades through school. Wasn't natural. And I say this all to say, I don't know a lot.

[Becky]

I say that I was not naturally smart, but I also put zero effort in. So I got. I did not do well in school for the simple fact that I did not try because I did not have the pressure or the parenting to feel driven or dedicated to even attempt to try. So I, I would be curious to know how well I would have done in school had I had a push of encouragement or like, because, I mean, I have my degree and I made the dean's list and stuff like that in college. But we're talking about communications, not fucking American history, you know? So I don't, I don't know how I would do. But I say all that to say, like, sometimes I surprise myself, like, where Rhode island is.

[Alessandra]

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a [e-mail] Karma okay, we talked about friendships this episode, and I do think that you need to consider who your support system is and who your support system is and how.

[Becky]

They'Ve changed your life.

[Alessandra]

In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that your friends do have an influence over your decisions. And if you don't have a good support system, you're probably not going to be making good choices. Right. Therapy can also be a source of support in any area of your life. And it's time to shift the focus from doing it all by yourself to knowing when we should ask for help.

[Billy]

I am a huge advocate for therapy. My therapist is coming back from maternity leave soon. Can't wait to get back in the saddle.

[Alessandra]

BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. You guys can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therap therapists with a wide range of specialties. And you can easily switch therapists at any time at no extra cost.

[Billy]

Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Karma to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Karma For 140.

[Ray]

Years, MultiCare has been in Washington prioritizing long term solutions, partnering with local communities and expanding access to care. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more@ multicare.org.

[Kale]

All right, so we're going to go through some questions.

[Becky]

Alessandra has.

[Kale]

Play along with us.

[Becky]

Yeah, play along with us. Okay.

[Kale]

Alessandra's here.

[Kristen]

Hi. As always here. Your favorite valley girl. Okay.

[Becky]

Not the favorite valley girl.

[Kristen]

Okay. So what's a word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same forward and backward called.

[Becky]

Oh.

[Kristen]

Gaelic. Starting off with a bang on this one. I'm gonna get a cramp again. Oh, here's Becky's little wheezy. Get my headbutt.

[Becky]

Why? I feel like you set me up.

[Kristen]

You didn't let me finish the fucking question.

[Becky]

How the.

[Kristen]

Did I say how?

[Becky]

Would. How Was malicious and sad.

[Kristen]

How the fuck would I know that you were about to fucking sink.

[Kale]

It took me a second.

[Kristen]

Me too.

[Kale]

To process why she just yelled that.

[Kristen]

I was like, are we having a medical emergency?

[Kale]

Okay, the thing is, is that I fear that we're not gonna know a lot of these, but what we need is the first letter, please.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kristen]

Do we have any guesses?

[Becky]

Wait, can you finish the sentence? Actually?

[Kristen]

Oh, I did.

[Kale]

Oh, can I get the definition, please?

[Becky]

I can do it in a sentence.

[Kristen]

A word, phrase, or sequence that reads forward and backward is called a pattern.

[Becky]

A pattern.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Kale]

Oh, I don't know.

[Kristen]

It does start with a p, but it's not pattern.

[Kale]

Okay, next letter. What's the p? What? Next letter. Start spelling it. Totally get it.

[Kristen]

Me?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Oh, p, A, L, I, n. It's a palinundrum.

[Becky]

Was never getting that.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Becky]

Race car.

[Kristen]

What?

[Becky]

I thought you were gonna say words that were the same, forward and back.

[Kristen]

A word that is a palindrome. Palinundrum.

[Becky]

So I thought, like, race car. Kayak.

[Kale]

What?

[Kristen]

Palindrome. Billy's here correcting us. Well, so we're all not smarter than fifth grader. Except for billy. According to the u. S. Constitution, the president is part of. Which of the three branches of government.

[Becky]

Are you going to read? The three branches of the government. Judicial executives.

[Kale]

It's.

[Becky]

Oh, it's the executive branch.

[Kristen]

That is correct, my girls. What is the capital of Russia?

[Becky]

Moscow.

[Kale]

I like this quick answer thing. Works a lot better. I would have got there, you know?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Plead the fifth.

[Kristen]

What is the process of water turning into vapor called?

[Becky]

Condensation.

[Kale]

No, evaporation. Yes.

[Becky]

Condensation is when it is outside of a glass, right?

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Correct.

[Becky]

Correct.

[Kale]

Billy's like, dude, I cannot get over the kayak.

[Kristen]

She didn't even let me finish. She said, you set me up, and I didn't even finish.

[Kale]

That was crazy.

[Becky]

Kayak. Kayak.

[Kristen]

You're competitive, huh?

[Becky]

I. Yes, but I'm toning it down a little bit.

[Kristen]

No, I love it.

[Becky]

Well, so I read somewhere that it's actually mental. It's from trauma. Like, it's mentally. It's mental illness. Well, it's fine.

[Kale]

Next question.

[Kristen]

What is the tallest mammal on earth?

[Becky]

Giraffe. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

[Kristen]

Correct. Yes.

[Becky]

I feel like that one was not that hard. Right.

[Kristen]

This one is good for you all.

[Kale]

Except for fifth graders.

[Becky]

True, true, true. Well, Phil, Anandrum was. Yeah. Okay. Palindrome.

[Kale]

Palindrome.

[Kristen]

Who was the first person to step on the moon?

[Becky]

Nobody.

[Kale]

Facts. It's all made up.

[Kristen]

Well, who. Who's in our books?

[Becky]

Armstrong.

[Kale]

Yeah. Buzz Lightyear.

[Becky]

Russia.

[Kale]

Neil Armstrong.

[Kristen]

It is Neil Armstrong.

[Becky]

I got it right, too.

[Kale]

What is Neil Armstrong?

[Becky]

What is this Jeopardy? Or is it are you smarter than a fifth grader? Or is it who wants to be a millionaire?

[Kristen]

What we all want to be?

[Becky]

I am.

[Kale]

Literally. I cannot get over the fucking kayak.

[Becky]

I can't wait to play that back one day.

[Kristen]

What is the process by which plants make their food?

[Kale]

Photosynthesis.

[Becky]

I didn't even get to open my mouth. I know that one.

[Kale]

You did it to me with Russia.

[Becky]

Russia. Okay, that's it. Game on.

[Kristen]

In classical music, what instruments usually comprise a string quartet?

[Becky]

A harp.

[Kristen]

No.

[Kale]

A cello.

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Becky]

Yes. That was good.

[Kristen]

That was one.

[Becky]

Oh, there's more.

[Kristen]

There's a quartet.

[Becky]

Violin. String instrument.

[Kale]

A guitar.

[Becky]

A fiddle. It's something with strings.

[Kristen]

So I will say that there's two violins. I'll give you all that. So you've got two violins and a cello. You've got one more thing. And a string quartet.

[Kale]

A cowbell.

[Becky]

That is. Doesn't have strings.

[Kale]

It's.

[Becky]

No, no, hold on. It looks like a violin, doesn't it? And I can't think of the name of it.

[Kristen]

But you're right, though. It's a viola.

[Kale]

Oh, you're right, though.

[Becky]

Close.

[Kale]

Wow.

[Kristen]

On the periodic table, which element is represented by the letter N?

[Kale]

Nitrogen.

[Kristen]

Yes, ma'am.

[Becky]

That was good. I didn't know that one. I was gonna say nickel.

[Kale]

It is on there.

[Kristen]

I mean, you don't think you're smarter than a fifth grader, but you are. What does a paleontologist study?

[Becky]

They got bones, artifacts, dinosaurs.

[Kristen]

Close.

[Becky]

Fossils, yes. Because I think I always associated them with dinosaurs. But it's not just dinosaur fossils. It's fossils in general. I think you're correct.

[Kristen]

In colonial America, what was the Sugar Act?

[Becky]

A tariff?

[Kristen]

Well, yes.

[Kale]

Sugar Act.

[Becky]

You can't put tariffs on tea. No, that is one, wasn't it?

[Kristen]

So I think you're thinking taxes instead of tariffs. So go on, keep going along that route.

[Becky]

Don't look at me like I know what I'm talking about. For the love of God. Was there tariffs on taxes on imports in colonial America?

[Kristen]

What was the Sugar Act?

[Becky]

Sugar Act?

[Kale]

Taxes on sugar.

[Kristen]

Came a tax on molasses and wine. Oh, wine is interesting, though. I don't know why that would have been included in the Sugar Act.

[Kale]

Fun fact.

[Kristen]

All right, you gotta do this real quick. Okay.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Kristen]

How much is 14 times 5?

[Kale]

Real quick?

[Becky]

No, no, don't tell me, because 5. 70. 1.

[Kale]

Wait, now I'm like 70?

[Becky]

Yes. I was off by 1. Are you kidding me?

[Kale]

1.

[Kristen]

But you were still wrong.

[Kale]

That was really hard on the spot. Like, I don't know why it was so hard for me to even think you were. So I was, like, trying to.

[Becky]

I was trying to use the new math where you, like, use the timeline. So basically what I did was I times 15 by 5. And then I subtracted. I should have subtracted 5, and I only subtracted 4.

[Kristen]

Oh, that's new math.

[Becky]

That's the new math I just did five times.

[Kristen]

I didn't know math could change 10.

[Kale]

And then that's what I usually do. Five times four. That was really screwing me up.

[Becky]

That was close. You were close for doing it in my head.

[Kale]

I was right.

[Becky]

I know. I'm proud of you. That was awesome, me saying really quick. But if that was for tipping somebody, I would have been the winner because I gave them one more dollar than you.

[Kristen]

True.

[Becky]

So anyone who wins from my poor bat. My poor math.

[Kale]

You know, you're not wrong. You're not wrong.

[Kristen]

Who invented the light bulb?

[Kale]

Thomas Edison.

[Becky]

Yes, I was definitely going to say Benjamin Franklin. Who is my cousin, by the way.

[Kristen]

What?

[Becky]

Yeah, he's like a.

[Kristen]

He's your cousin.

[Becky]

He's like a tenth all the way back descendant.

[Kristen]

Not the good old family member.

[Becky]

Do you know he had like 60 bodies in his. In his, like, house?

[Kristen]

Come again?

[Becky]

Dead bodies.

[Kristen]

Who?

[Becky]

Benjamin Franklin.

[Kristen]

Oh, I thought you meant Thomas Edison.

[Kale]

So many bodies in his house.

[Becky]

I think he was, like, studying them or something. They like fat. Hold on, let me Google it really quick.

[Kristen]

I'm really upset about that.

[Becky]

Bodies in Benjamin Franklin's house. The remains of over. Oh, no, I said. Did I say 60? The remains of over 15 people were found in the basement of Benjamin Franklin's house at 36 Craven street in London. The bones were a result of an illegal anatomy school run by Franklin's friend, William Hewson. Weird.

[Kristen]

History is weird.

[Kale]

History is weird.

[Kristen]

What are the large rocks that orbit the sun between Mars and Jupiter called?

[Becky]

I didn't know there was rocks in the sky. Meteors.

[Kale]

Yeah, close.

[Kristen]

Asteroids. You were close.

[Becky]

Do you know that one's gonna hit Earth? An asteroid's gonna hit.

[Kristen]

Not soon enough.

[Becky]

2.5 chance of it blowing up the Earth.

[Kale]

I feel like they always say that.

[Kristen]

Not soon enough.

[Becky]

I'm anxiety about it.

[Kristen]

Okay. I did not write this. You can see, okay, how many adjectives are in this sentence. Billy made a rude noise. In class or during the recording.

[Becky]

One adjective. Rude.

[Kristen]

Yep. One.

[Becky]

Just one.

[Kristen]

Okay, I think we know this, but what is the plural form of deer?

[Becky]

Deer.

[Kale]

Deers.

[Becky]

I actually just did an exercise with Lux on that.

[Kale]

Deer. It's just deer.

[Becky]

But like, what's weird about that years is like deer, Moose is moose or mooses, right? No, moose, Moose, geese and goose.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like, it doesn't make sense.

[Kale]

Nothing in the American language.

[Becky]

Huh. Imagine Meese or the English.

[Kristen]

Have you ever seen a moose?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Yes. Not in person, but.

[Kristen]

Or an elk. They're terrifying.

[Kale]

They're huge.

[Becky]

Anyways, they're cool, though.

[Kristen]

What is the longest river in the United States?

[Becky]

Kilimanjaro.

[Kale]

Excuse me.

[Becky]

Wait. In the United States?

[Kale]

The Nile.

[Becky]

That's in Egypt.

[Kale]

The Mississippi.

[Kristen]

We need to go back to school.

[Kale]

You said Kilimanjaro.

[Becky]

I don't know if that's a river, actually. It probably has a river. It probably.

[Kale]

Does it have a river?

[Kristen]

No.

[Becky]

What is it?

[Kristen]

Missouri. Really?

[Becky]

Delaware.

[Kristen]

The Delaware river, you think is the longest?

[Becky]

I mean, it goes through several states.

[Kristen]

It does. That's true. My state. That's true. What is the clinical name for the thigh bone?

[Becky]

Femur.

[Kale]

Femur.

[Kristen]

Oh, okay. Get it, get it, get it.

[Becky]

We should do biology. Let's do biology next.

[Kristen]

What?

[Becky]

Biology trivia.

[Kristen]

Oh, how the am I gonna go with those? Okay, what is the prefix in the word unnecessary?

[Becky]

Un.

[Kristen]

Yeah, well, listen. Hey.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Did you get that one too? Yeah, I said damn, I need to beat her just by a couple.

[Kristen]

Who painted the Mona Lisa?

[Kale]

I don't know.

[Becky]

Not Picasso?

[Kristen]

No, not Picasso at all.

[Kale]

Michelangelo?

[Becky]

No, he was a sculptor. Yeah. I have no idea.

[Kristen]

Leonardo da Vinci.

[Becky]

We knew that.

[Kristen]

You knew it. You knew it? It just didn't put on the spot. The woman who posed for Mona Lisa's name is not actually Mona Lisa. It's Choconda, which is a fun fact. Also my mother's name.

[Becky]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Kale]

That is interest.

[Becky]

And chacones. It's really close.

[Kristen]

It is really?

[Kale]

Chacones is my middle name. It's my middle name.

[Kristen]

Maine Borders, which U.S. state?

[Becky]

Maine Borders. Which U.S. state?

[Kale]

Rhode Island?

[Becky]

Massachusetts?

[Kristen]

Neither. But you're close.

[Becky]

Kind of Vermont?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Main borders if you tell me. Rhode Island?

[Kale]

Oh, New Hampshire?

[Becky]

Yes. Oh.

[Kale]

I was like I went there. Where did I go through first?

[Alessandra]

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[Billy]

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[Alessandra]

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[Ray]

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[Billy]

You know what I don't miss at all?

[Kale]

Kale?

[Billy]

That vicious week before the period when I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Skin that was covered in pimples, mind you. And the cravings. Oh my God. I could have Eaten my own hand and rolled it in batter and deep fried it. Now it's easier to manage PMS with Estro Control. Estro Control is formula developed by Happy Mammoth, a supplement company dedicated to making women's lives easier. Estro Control contains science backed herbal extract that helps support hormonal health, especially in women who suffer from pms. The way Estro Control eases PMS is really quite interesting. The ingredients help support the liver and that's where our hormones get processed, especially estrogen. So when the estrogen isn't process processed well in the liver, women may start having PMS spots on the skin. They get cravings and feel low all of a sudden. Astro Control was created to help women feel like themselves all throughout the month. Because PMS can rob them of a week of their lives every single month. And that's just not fair.

[Alessandra]

Astro Control is made specifically for women who are pre menopausal. So it's perfect for women that haven't entered menopause yet. In fact, it's amazing for perimenopause when hormones start to fluctuate and PMS can turn into an absolute beast. Also, I just want to say that I'm on my period now. I have it and I hate it. But the week before is definitely much more manageable with Happy Mammoth. For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire first order@happy mammoth.com. just use code Karma at checkout.

[Kristen]

Who was the President of the United States before George W. Bush?

[Kale]

Clinton.

[Becky]

Which George? Oh, George W. Bush is the second one, right?

[Kale]

Yeah. I feel smart now.

[Kristen]

Whose picture is on the five dollar bill? The silence after I feel smart. Yeah.

[Becky]

Five dollars bill. Hold on a minute. Thomas. Thomas Jefferson. Is it?

[Kristen]

Becky was right.

[Becky]

Abraham Lincoln. He gets a penny and a five dollar bill.

[Kale]

That's why I was like, she's on the penny. Isn't he on the.

[Becky]

Oh, cool.

[Kale]

I literally cannot still get over the kayak.

[Becky]

Do you think I'm okay?

[Kale]

What?

[Kristen]

No.

[Kale]

Goes forward and backwards.

[Becky]

Kayak. Do you get where I. How I came down? Yes.

[Kale]

Complete sense. It was just.

[Becky]

Sure.

[Kristen]

Yeah, a little.

[Becky]

Understood. It's okay.

[Kale]

Oh my God.

[Kristen]

What is the capital of New York City?

[Becky]

New York City.

[Kale]

Albany.

[Becky]

B. Buffalo. It's Albany, isn't it?

[Kristen]

It's Albany. But what's the capital of New York City? How many syllables? Excuse me? How many. How many syllables are in the word Mississippi?

[Kale]

Four.

[Becky]

Four?

[Kristen]

Yes, four. I love little whispers.

[Becky]

Three.

[Kristen]

Oh, God, not this question. What is the body of water between Florida and Texas called Gulf of Mexico?

[Becky]

Well, depends on America.

[Kristen]

I told you, the asteroid is not coming quick enough. What are the three states of matter?

[Becky]

Solid, Gas, solid and liquid?

[Kristen]

Is that what you're gonna say? She said? Yeah, sure. Yes, you're correct.

[Kale]

She.

[Becky]

Let me get one.

[Kristen]

Finally, what country has the longest border with the United States?

[Becky]

Canada, Joel.

[Kristen]

Oh, Canada. How many times?

[Becky]

He doesn't give a buck.

[Kristen]

How many times does 49 divide into 7?

[Becky]

7.

[Kale]

7.

[Kristen]

Which planet in our solar system is known for its beautiful rings? It's Saturn.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Does Mars have rings?

[Kale]

I feel like we're playing that game. You know, that. That thing on Tick Tock when it's all the candy laid out?

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Becky]

I haven't seen it.

[Kale]

Oh, you should do that with your kids.

[Becky]

Okay, you have to send one to me if you come across one.

[Kristen]

True or false. The mascot of Karma and Chaos, AKA the kangaroo, is a marsupial.

[Becky]

True.

[Kale]

I have no clue.

[Kristen]

Yes, it's true.

[Kale]

About the mascot.

[Becky]

Are we sure we don't want to incorporate one into our branding before we.

[Kale]

I mean, we definitely should have some merch with a kangaroo.

[Becky]

No, we have to.

[Kale]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kristen]

How many sides does a quadrangle have?

[Becky]

4.

[Kristen]

Yeah, that's an easy one.

[Becky]

Quads.

[Kristen]

The ancient Egyptian empire was based in what continent?

[Becky]

Africa.

[Kristen]

What whole number is closest to the square root of 65?

[Becky]

What?

[Kale]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't even know what a square root means.

[Becky]

65.

[Kale]

Is it 5?

[Becky]

Is it 6?

[Kristen]

These guys gonna count?

[Becky]

Is it 2?

[Kristen]

No.

[Becky]

I have no idea.

[Kale]

65.

[Becky]

I don't know how to do square roots.

[Kristen]

It's 8. Don't ask me why. You're the one who knows the new math. I know. True or false. The human shoulder is a ball and socket joint.

[Kale]

True.

[Becky]

True.

[Kristen]

Which continent is the least populated?

[Becky]

Antarctica.

[Kristen]

Antarctica is correct.

[Kale]

I don't know why I said Australia.

[Kristen]

I don't know why you did either, but.

[Kale]

Because they have, like, the largest amount of land that's uninhabitable.

[Becky]

True.

[Kale]

That's what was in my head.

[Becky]

Why is it uninhabitable?

[Kale]

I don't know.

[Becky]

Is it, like, farmland? Oh, okay.

[Kale]

No, you can't.

[Becky]

It's, like, not like you cannot live on it. Yeah, okay.

[Kale]

I don't know why.

[Becky]

We'll have to ask. Maybe the girl with the bun. Wat. Well, your twin.

[Kristen]

What is the term for a word that has the opposite meaning of another word?

[Becky]

An antonym. Yes.

[Kristen]

Correct. It's an antonym. All right, well, let us know if you think that Kale and Becky are smarter than a fifth grader.

[Becky]

Also, if you tallied up, who won? Say I did say that I won. I definitely did. You had me for a little while, but I think I might have gotten more in the end.

[Kale]

Can't win them all.

[Kristen]

So I think the kayak sent you over the edge.

[Kale]

The kayak just set me up for just like, pure madness. Like, I couldn't even think. I just kept thinking about you yelling, chaos.

[Becky]

Okay, kayak. No, we're not. We're not.

[Kristen]

Well, killing the kayaks and kangaroos.

[Becky]

Okay. On Instagram, I did ask for topics for karma and chaos today, and some of them are sort of. They're not trivia, but they are.

[Kale]

We didn't specify trivia.

[Becky]

No, I didn't. So they're not trivia. But I did see a good one that I thought was kind of cool to talk about maybe would be financial arrangements and marriage.

[Kale]

Yeah. What are your financial arrangements in your marriage?

[Becky]

We keep everything separate, but. But not for any particular reason. It's just that we've only been together for three years and we didn't. Our assets are all separate. Right. Like, he owned a house, I own a house.

[Kale]

Is he gonna sign a prenup?

[Becky]

Yes. Yes. Prenup. And then as far as, like, what we spend money on, like, we take turns buying groceries. He has renters in his house, so he handles all that. He handles his credit cards. I handle my stuff. And then we take turns with, like, the groceries. I'm trying to think what else we take turns with. Or I'm trying to think, like, there's no real reason, I guess, for us to put our money together. I'm not judging it. I don't care if anyone else does it. But, like, there's no real reason for us to.

[Kale]

Yeah, I think it works for whatever works for you. Leah and I don't have our money together.

[Becky]

You don't?

[Kale]

We have. We just opened a bank account together when we got married. So that, like, money from the wedding, money that we were paying out for the wedding, it was through a mutual account.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

And so now we have one mutual account that we each put an X amount of money into each month. And that's where all of our mutual things come out of.

[Becky]

Like, what would you have that's mutual.

[Kale]

Tax? House or taxes for our house, our electric, our gas.

[Becky]

Okay, so like, utilities and stuff.

[Kale]

Utilities. Shop, like food, shopping. Sometimes Leah. Leah is like an over shopper. So sometimes she feels guilty and we'll just pay for it because, like, she just, like, over shops. But yeah.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Or if we go out to dinner now together, we'll like put it on.

[Becky]

That I feel. And don't come for me for saying this because it's not a judgment by any means, but I think the people who maybe have more success with sharing a bank account would be if there's a stay at home parent that doesn't work. Because how else are you gonna like buy stuff?

[Kale]

Yeah, like we have our individual like accounts.

[Becky]

Yeah. Elijah gets, you know, when he gets paid. I don't even know his paydays. You know what I mean? Like, we have nothing together, but I do want to do a whole Renault on his house and I, I offer pay for it because I want to do it like I want it done and he doesn't. So I'm like, but what if I pay for it because he doesn't feel.

[Kale]

The need for it?

[Becky]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, but I want it.

[Kale]

Why?

[Becky]

Just could use some.

[Kale]

I've heard, I've seen people do, people that have mutual accounts, which I feel like I let. When like Lee and I both make very similar amount of money right now. So we just put the equal amount. But I have, I know people that, that have very different like incomes, incomes, and they do a percentage. So they do like 30% of each other's income goes into a mutual account. And that 30 equates to a lot different of a money.

[Becky]

Yeah, but that, I mean, that makes sense to me because then you're still contributing the same thing without contributing the same thing.

[Kale]

Because I don't, I don't think it's relative to like what someone makes. But if someone was making say 40 grand a year, so. And their partner was making 150, 50 grand a year and their rent was $2,000, like a thousand dollars to the person that's making 40 grand a year is a huge difference to the person that's making $150,000 a year. So I think finding that like balance, it doesn't have to be like a 50, 50 split. And when I win the lottery and when I become super rich, like, my money's Leah's money, she can have whatever she wants.

[Becky]

I remember having a conversation with an old friend where he was saying that it doesn't matter how much he makes or how much more he makes, that he will always require her to do 50, 50.

[Kale]

That's not fair though. Well, I guess, like, is he okay with living at her level of means then? Because if he's requiring a nicer house or a nicer xyz, like how are you expecting her to pay for half of something that you like at your level?

[Becky]

No, I agree with you. I'm not arguing with you at all. I think that makes sense. I also kind of like the idea. I mean, Elijah and I don't need to do it, but I. If we were to open a bank account, I kind of like your idea of each of us putting in a percentage of our income. Yeah. I also. When I was married, and, you know, I really am trying to not talk about my marriage and divorce as much anymore, just for respect, but in this conversation Javi and I had, it was the same thing. Like, we kept our money separate, but we had a joint account where bills would come out of.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And we would each contribute. And he was. He did usually house and utilities. I did groceries. That was just. Just the way it was. But it came out of the joint account usually. Yeah. And so it. We didn't have, like, a percentage amount that we were contributing, but we were also really young. If Elijah and I ever merge finances, I like the idea of percentages over, like, a solid. Because here's the thing. I'm like, I never. I never want. I see people come for Elijah a lot. And I said that on another episode. Specifically, when it comes to finances is like. Like, people will say, oh, so and so is with her for the money, or he stays because of the money. This, that, or the third. I live in Delaware. I live in Dover, Delaware. Nobody in Dover, Delaware makes what I make. Javi didn't make what I made when I was on the show. Joe didn't make what I made when I was on the show. Nobody there makes what I make. When I was like, nobody there makes what I make. So I will never be with someone that's on my same financial playing field. Do you know what I mean? So I just, like, I'm trying to defend him.

[Kale]

You know what I mean?

[Becky]

It gets. It's upsetting because it's like, we're.

[Kale]

I don't.

[Becky]

And I'm not the caliber of a person to go to, like, these, like, clubs. Like, what are they? Like, where you meet, like, really wealthy people? Like, I'm not that type of person.

[Kale]

Yeah. I mean, you're just not looking. Wealth isn't important to you.

[Becky]

So I just wanted to say that for all the people that are going to come for me about finances and Elijah and I've seen the comments before. It's like, who else know if people.

[Kale]

Listening to this podcast are the people coming for a lot?

[Becky]

True. That's true. It's not the people listening to this podcast, but there are people who say it.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And it's upsetting because it's like.

[Kale]

Which is valid. Yeah.

[Becky]

He contributes more in other ways to make up for the financial difference. And truly I think what he does for our family is invaluable. Invaluable. And you cannot put a price tag on it. So I think I agree more and truly does more than I ever could. So. Yeah. You know what I'm saying.

[Kale]

He is a shining star.

[Becky]

But so I just think it's, I always think it's fascinating how people do their finances like, as, as couples.

[Kale]

Yeah, we, you know, I don't know what it looks like now with a child. We've talked about that too. You know, adding more money into a mutual account together.

[Becky]

But like more than what the percentages that you do.

[Kale]

We don't do percentage because we make very similar amount of money right now. So like it, it, it's. We're both on the same equal playing field.

[Becky]

What about a sa. Like, and I hope I'm not like intruding on your privacy.

[Kale]

We're going to open a savings account for our kid.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

So that's where we'll both put like 50 bucks, 100 bucks a month into just consistently.

[Becky]

I don't know if New Jersey has it, but that Pennsylvania has. I think it's called a 526. A 526. 520. Something like that.

[Kale]

It's like a kids account.

[Becky]

No, no, it's for college. It's like specifically for college. So you don't come for me if I'm wrong on this because it's been a long time, but it's like you lock in at the price. So like say I was to start the account today with this plan. You pay what it is, what the cost of tuition is today.

[Kale]

Interesting.

[Becky]

I don't know if that's correct, but it's something for college. And then if you, you can transfer it to other siblings. But if you end up taking money out of it and not going to college, I think there's fees associated or whatever. I have trust funds for my account, my kids, and so they each have their own accounts. And then I also pay my children. But you can only pay up to four. I can only pay up to four children.

[Kale]

Yeah, I'll do that eventually. Like paying them from like my business.

[Billy]

When you think about fast food, you probably think about unhealthy thought out patties dripping with grease. But when you're on A tight schedule and need to save time, you might not have any other options. If this sounds familiar, you need to check out Tempo. Tempo can provide you with a protein packed fuel to save time without compromising your health goals. As we continue to try to navigate doing better this year for our bodies, Tempo has been a huge impact to making sure I get at least some well rounded meals in my day. They have things like chicken steak, spicy chipotle bowls better without onions than the chipotle that you get in the store. They also have this creamy mushroom sauce that I have had a bunch of times that I can't get enough of. So I love Tempo and Kale. I think that you should try it as well.

[Alessandra]

I actually have. Tempo is a weekly delivery service that delivers chef crafted meals from a dietitian approved menu fresh to your door. I recently tried it Becky, so you don't have to worry. And I will tell you that Tempo serves up fast feel good single serving meals that are crafted to cook in just three minutes. So when I am triple booking myself on accident and blaming Kristen. Just kidding. You can eat well without sacrificing taste or convenience. And they have new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients and nutrient rich so they make it easy to keep up with a healthy lifestyle. And you know, I just got surgery last year. I want to make sure that I maintain my weight. I want to make sure that I'm happy with the way I look, look and so this makes it easy. Tempo has perfectly portioned lunches and dinners that take the guesswork out of eating. Tempo's perfectly portioned lunches and dinners take the guesswork out of eating well so that you're fully prepared and they can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes like I was saying, which.

[Becky]

Is such a game changer.

[Alessandra]

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[Kale]

We, we are gonna do something like for our. But do you feel that your kids will go to college?

[Becky]

I'm not some of them.

[Kale]

I'm not like pushing for like, I'm not a college pusher.

[Becky]

I, you know, I don't think that college is for everyone. I think that for me I like the idea of that. But I would not be upset if my kids didn't want to go to college. I think that, you know, as a parent you always want to see your Child succeed and be happy and be successful. But I think I see some of the people that I graduated college with who are, you know, I was a lot older than a lot of the people that I graduated with, but I see them not doing that, using their degrees at all, if even having jobs at all. So, like, I can name two right off the bat that don't even have jobs. And so to me, it's like, push them to do college for what? Do you know what I mean? I know Isaac has big goals and dreams of going to college, but he needs a degree for what he wants to do. Where Lincoln, you know, he wants to go to college, but I also could see him joining the military or becoming a barber or, you know, I could see so many things for, for him and for Lincoln and for Cree, for Lincoln, for Lux and for Creed. Obviously, the babies are too young, but I, I'm not pushing for college. It's like, if you, if, if you're. Your career, your dream career requires it, I think it makes sense. But like, for me to go to college for communications. Yeah. I do communication stuff every single day. But did I need a degree for it? No.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Do you know what I mean? So, like, if it's for sure. Lawyer, doctor, nurse, you know.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Things like that, I feel like is.

[Kale]

They require an education.

[Becky]

It makes sense. But like, I also don't want them to pay. I don't want them to go a hundred thousand dollars in debt, like, just for the experience. I. I don't know, because then I hear stories about people having a fantastic experience in college, and it's like, where is the line? Like, I guess if you get grants and loans.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, at what cost, right?

[Becky]

Like, yeah.

[Kale]

I mean, I, like, I think that my education from college, I don't think sets me apart or puts me in a better position, but my experience and the networking I did in college put me into a better position.

[Becky]

So Alessandra and I went to dinner with my attorney the last time we were. The last time we were in New York. And my attorney had said something to me along the lines of, like, with law school, I was asking her, did it matter? Because I. I want to go to law school. At some point in my life, I would like to go. And the first thing she said was, why you make more money than me? And then the second thing she said was, I had asked her, does it matter where I go to law school? And she said, it does, but it doesn't. But the main reason why it does is for the, the networking that you're doing with those other students. Yeah, not necessarily for like, like where you got your degree. So I thought that was really interesting. But so true is like not what you know, but who you know.

[Kale]

That was part of the conversation around, you know, Lee and I both work or volunteer at Blair, which is the private boarding school in our town. And I, I was like, oh, I would love for our kids to, to go there. And she was like, I mean, I went to North Warren and it did like, which is the high school in our, in our town. And it didn't matter. I said, yeah, but imagine the networking that our kids will be able to do at a school like that. Like their friends. Dads are the CEOs of a company and like have that. It's, it's all about who knows you really.

[Becky]

I just read a book and it's a whole series. But in the first book you learn they go to a prep school. Like the characters go to a prep school and they're all children of CEOs of major companies. And that's sort of like the prem, like the, I guess plot or setting of the book. And it's so interesting because it is true. And then I also think about like, not to compare myself. So y'all don't come for me because I read the comments about our conversation last time. But like, look at where Alex Cooper and I are doing similar things in the sense of the space that we're in. Right. Like the podcasting space. She has Unwell network. I have Killer network. Look at the scale of Unwell versus Killer based on her being married to a media mogul versus me. I'm a small business, women owned, women run. She is doing exactly the same thing as I am, but because she has connections to the media world through her husband, in my opinion, she's on a completely different scale than me. She's going to have connections to much more wealthy people much higher, you know? Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, same thing, same space, same. Same industry.

[Kale]

Yeah, I think, I mean, life's all about. About connections. Like it's all about.

[Kristen]

Sorry, you have to consider that she started at barstool too. So what kind of connections does Dave have?

[Kale]

Yeah, true.

[Becky]

That is true. I mean, and I started off podcasting with a boutique network. Yeah, yeah.

[Kale]

And you basically did that yourself too.

[Becky]

Right?

[Kale]

Like she had.

[Becky]

She started with barstool.

[Kale]

Barstool, which is a very public facing platform. So it's like content creator based. Right. So you're creating an entire platform opposed to like, podcasting here is just like pot.

[Becky]

Like, you know, the boutique smaller and I. I hope to be bigger one day. We just. Again, it's about connections and, you know, who, you know, what you know.

[Kale]

Yeah. And it's a. And honestly, in my mind that I remember I was in grad school and we had a professor that came in as like a part time professor for one of our classes, and he was really high up in a corporate company, and I went up to after one of the classes and asked if I could take him to lunch to just like pick his brain.

[Becky]

Did you. Did he go?

[Kale]

Yeah. And he's the reason I got my internship for grad school. He's the like. And that internship's the reason that, like, I got my first job out of grad school. So it's really like making those connections and being intentional with those.

[Becky]

It's just I always say, like, if one person gave me a chance, it can open so many doors. And it's not just me, like anybody. If one person in. In something in a world that you wanted to. Gave you a chance, it could change your. In the. And the trajectory to your entire life.

[Kale]

It's why making connections and meeting people is so important and being intentional with those meetings.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

I also want you to recognize that you are that for a lot of people. Like, you're that person for me.

[Becky]

Really?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Why do you say that?

[Kristen]

I don't have. Wouldn't have the connection to this industry that I would have if it wasn't for you.

[Becky]

Me neither.

[Kristen]

At all.

[Kale]

I mean, same.

[Becky]

That feels weird.

[Kristen]

You've always done that though, for the people you love.

[Becky]

Well, I want everyone to succeed. Like, if you told me today you're like, kale, thank you for the opportunity. I'm gonna go work for Unwell. I'd be like, let me know when I can make my way. Like, cool. Like, thank you. Love that. Congratulations. You know what I mean? Like, I always want to see people do.

[Kristen]

I get that. But that's the reason why I wouldn't. Does that make sense? Like, loyalty and you wanting to see the people on your network, your employees, etc, to do better than what they're already doing for you goes further than for me. Like, the name on wall doesn't mean to me. That means more to me than that. If Ax Cooper knocked on my door right now and said, I'm. I'll give you a job, I'd say, no.

[Becky]

No way.

[Kristen]

Swear? Swear.

[Becky]

What about barstool?

[Kristen]

No.

[Becky]

I don't know. That's really cool. Yeah. Like, I don't. It doesn't feel like that for me, though. Like, it doesn't feel like I, I, I open doors for anyone. So when I think of it, like, it's wild.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Sometimes I think, like, Larry, I don't know why it's him, but, like, I think he gave me a chance with teen mom and like, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them giving. It wasn't him specifically. He didn't hand pick me, but whoever did truly doesn't know how much that one opportunity changed my entire life.

[Kristen]

That's. Everyone that's like, in your position or who is famous or does well, like, it's very rare, if you think about it, for people to just, like, pop off organically.

[Becky]

But you know what?

[Kristen]

Care.

[Becky]

For example, I gave him every opportunity to be so successful.

[Kale]

He didn't want it.

[Becky]

He did want it, though, but he didn't want you. But the thing is, like, in it.

[Kale]

You know what I mean?

[Becky]

When I think of most of the time because, you know, last year I had a falling out with someone and people were like, oh, she's the one that you never want to have help you because she'll throw it in your face for the rest of your life. And it's like, no, normally I'm, I'm actually not like that at all. Yeah. It just gave him so many opportunities and, and he, I think it's not that he didn't want it. I think that he didn't want to be able to say that I wasn't authentic.

[Kale]

Yeah. It wasn't like, that's where I was. It was so funny because I, like, just not that long ago on my Facebook was the first post that I made for, for the haters, like, back in 2018, 2019, and like, in the SEC, like, it's like launching this thing and then it says, like, thank you, Kale, for like, giving me a platform and a voice to like, like to be able to do this right. So, like, people that don't have that type of respect and notice for what you bring, it doesn't flourish in that way.

[Becky]

So it makes it feel, I think Lindsay all the time, like, publicly speaking. Like, I mean, not. I, I haven't thanked her personally in a long time, but anytime people ask me, how did you get into podcasting? Lindsay Chrisley.

[Kale]

Yeah, I've heard you say that multiple times.

[Becky]

Lindsay Crisley did it.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And I don't have any problem saying that.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Becky]

You know what I mean?

[Kale]

I do know what you mean. Sorry, but we're, I mean you're thriving.

[Kristen]

Yeah. I think that's the disconnect. I don't think that you believe that you're as successful as you are and that you've made other people as successful as they are. So that's like where I think the disconnect comes. Like you don't see that. But I don't know why you should.

[Kale]

Talk to your non existing therapist about it.

[Becky]

She's existent.

[Kale]

You just haven't gone.

[Becky]

Yeah, that is true. I haven't gone in a long time. I need to go back. I wonder if she would still if the same therapist would be a good fit at the place that I am in my life right now. That's something we've never talked about for people who have been in therapy for years and years and years take a break and then are, are ready to go back. Cuz I had said to Kristen last weekend when she was at my house, I said I'm ready to go back to therapy. I don't know if that same therapist would be a good fit for me. Me, I love her. I have no bad blood with her, no nothing. But I just don't know if the style. I think I would try a different. Maybe not talk therapy, maybe something else.

[Kale]

Yeah, I mean that's fair. That happens to a lot of people. I've had therapists that I've outgrown because I found it hard when I had a therapist that was really good at helping me get through really difficult things. But it was really awkward when I didn't have difficult things to get through through like we couldn't just talk. Like we weren't like friendly. Like she was there to help me get through my. But outside of that it was just really weird because she was 30, 40 years older than me.

[Becky]

So it's like interesting.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Oh that's. So I, I think I had some tough sessions when I didn't have anything immediate or like, like sort of holding. Like I wasn't holding any weight on my shoulders like during that week or whatever. And there were, there were several times throughout the years that I doubled up up on. Like I would go twice a week because I had so much going on but then during the slower times, tough to get through. But I wouldn't say they were awkward.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I mean what do you talk about? Like I, I don't want to tap into my childhood stuff that like I don't want to dig up. I don't want to dig that up today because I don't have Anything going on. But I know next week one of my baby dad's going to pop off. So like, if we could just like not open that can of worms today because I just know that next week we won't be able to continue. Do you know what I mean? Like, I. It was just one of those things that I was like, I don't want to talk to younger Kale. You know what I mean?

[Kale]

I can't wait to have merch that just says, do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

All right, from this point forward, I'm not gonna. I'm only gonna let myself say it one time per episode.

[Kale]

Do you want to bet a hundred dollars on that?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kristen]

For audio listeners. They just shook on it.

[Kale]

So clip it. Just like our bet we made in la.

[Becky]

I'll prove you wrong. Is it karma or is it chaos? You've been best friends with someone for years. Let's call them Alex. You've always been there for them. Late night ven sessions, helping them move twice, even spotting them money when they needed it. But lately Alex has been acting different. They flake on plans, take forever to text back, and only seem to reach when they need something. One day you decide to stop being the one who always makes the effort. You pull back. No text, no check ins, nothing. Weeks go by and Alex never reaches out. Then you hear through mutual friends that Alex is upset because no one is there for them anymore. Now you're wondering, is it karma or is it chaos?

[Kale]

Life is just so complicated. I have so many questions.

[Becky]

Like what?

[Kale]

Like what's going on with in their lives?

[Becky]

You know, I have been guilty of being the friend that doesn't reach out out. And it's not intentional, but it's also not intentional. Does that make sense? Like the friendship is not intentional on my end because I'm not intentionally reaching out. But then I'm also not reaching out on purpose. Does that make sense?

[Kale]

Yes.

[Becky]

I'm not being intentional and me not reaching out is not intentional.

[Kale]

Yeah. I just don't. I'm like reading it and I just don't think this is karma. I think it's just like life is it?

[Becky]

So would you be upset? I mean, because we've gone. I think more so in our prior friendship. Prior friendship. I didn't reach out.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Were you offended? Like, were you upset by that?

[Kale]

I really don't know because. I don't know because I was always just the person that reached out that like, I don't think I ever took a step back and noticed.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

You know?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I notice it now with people because I intend like my, I, I intentionally don't reach out to people now.

[Becky]

Like you don't want to or you are trying to see, but you're trying to see if they're going to reach out to you.

[Kale]

Yeah. Just because it's just not a mutual relationship.

[Becky]

So if it's not a mutual relationship, then what, what do you mean? Like, would you just not be their friend anymore?

[Kale]

Yeah, like I just put some boundaries on that relationship. I have enough good people in my life that it's not like they're my only friend. I just, I'm tired of giving my energy and my. I love and care about my friends so much and I'm just tired of giving that to people that it's not reciprocated by.

[Becky]

I take less offense to it and more so like look at them as low maintenance friends.

[Kale]

Yeah, I'm not offended by it. I'm just putting myself in the place where I am in theirs.

[Becky]

For example, my friend Tony texted me yesterday and I haven't talked to her in a while. Yeah, some days, like maybe a week, a couple weeks will go by and one of us will send a meme or something like that. But like to the day I die, she will be one of my best friends. So like that's just what our friendship is.

[Kale]

Like that.

[Becky]

But I also, but like I'm not reaching out regularly, but I'm also not intentionally not reaching out. Same for Sterling. Like we might go weeks without talking to each other.

[Kale]

I have those friends too though.

[Becky]

And like it gradually got that way. I also have another friend that lives in Delaware and I literally never, never see her. Like I never see her. I did see on her Facebook that she was upset about it, not necessarily towards me specifically. And I did feel a little ping of guilt. Like I was like, okay, this if the shoe fits kind of thing. And I, I did feel some kind of way, but I was like, I cannot be mad at her for if that's how she feel and I feels. And I'm not reaching out like, but I don't know how to change it because I don't necessarily have the time to change it.

[Kale]

Yeah, I mean growing is just making prior, like prioritizing the relationships you need to. You can't be there for every single.

[Becky]

You can't prioritize every single relationship you have. But I think it has to at least be a mutual understanding of that. Right. Like making it like if I can't reach out to you and it's like, hey, Becky, I'm gonna be mia. I'm going through a lot for the next. Like, over the next couple weeks are gonna be really rough for me. Like, if I'm not reaching out, it's not intentional. I love you, but, like, I'll get to you when I can. And you understand that or the relationship sort of naturally heads in that direction. I feel like. I think you're right. I think it's just life. You know what I mean? Oh, that doesn't count because I said aft. I meant, like, after this episode, because I had already said it a bunch.

[Kale]

And with that, Kale owes me a hundred dollars. And I hope that everyone has enjoyed this episode.

[Becky]

See ya.

[G]

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[Kale]

You're going to need some backup, which.

[G]

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[Becky]

Very cool. Cool.

[G]

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[Kale]

You can't outrun this.

[G]

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[Kristen]

We got you.

[G]

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[H]

All right. I may not be as funny as Nikki Glazer.

[Becky]

I want to pitch a series of.

[Kale]

Like, calendars where men are just crying.

[Becky]

In a therapist's office or punching a pillow and working out their anger towards their dad.

[H]

But I do have my moments. I actually have full conversations with the moon. Yes, I try to keep it pretty balanced on this podcast. A little fun dance between comedy therapy, self medicating. Oh, and sorry if you haven't guessed. Hi, I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of off the vine podcast, where we like to just keep things loose and keep them rolling and keep them real. Like when we have listeners call in and give confessions.

[Becky]

And then that glass of wine progressed into me becoming a unicorn for them.

[H]

But we do, and I promise you this, try to keep it honest and vulnerable. So jump on the wagon, not off. Grab your favorite bottle of wine, preferably spade and sparrows, and join the vinos. Have yourself a time. The off the vine podcast is available wherever you get your podcast.

[Ray]

Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years. We know because Multicare has been here guided by a single making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services, and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn [e-mail].