Becky VS The Empress

Summary

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Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: Becky VS The Empress
Release Date: May 19, 2026
PodcastOne

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Episode Overview

In "Becky VS The Empress," Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter deliver another candid, hilarious conversation about friendship, family, internet criticism, and the messy realities of adult life. This episode centers on reading and responding to actual reviews—positive and negative—reflecting on authenticity, addressing depression, and discussing viral internet stories and controversial topics. With the trademark mix of unfiltered honesty and humor, Kail and Becky explore the challenge of pleasing podcast audiences, the importance of vulnerability, and the ongoing juggle of independence and relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Projects, Tours, and Audiobooks

Timestamps: 02:01–04:18

• Kail shares news about going on the "Father Motherless Behavior" podcast tour, upcoming guest spots (including Harry Jowsey and Caitlin Bristowe), and narrating her first audiobook "It Started With a Whisper" by Rob Shooter despite battling technical issues and a bout of strep throat.

• Becky and Kail express excitement about new ventures and try to set expectations for listeners.

  Notable Quote:
  "I did have strep throat. I did have to re-record half of the book because of technical difficulties. And so I really did my best and if you guys could just be really nice to me about it, that would be great." – Kail (04:01)

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2. Reading & Reacting to Listener Reviews

Timestamps: 05:02–15:30

• Gabby, the show’s producer, reads reviews from Apple and Spotify, ranging from glowing 5-stars to harsh 1-star critiques—especially complaints about Becky’s perceived negative energy and Kail eating on air.

• The hosts openly address criticisms, offering appreciation for constructive feedback and honesty around bad days and negativity.

• Discussion about the difficulty of making everyone happy in podcasting and deciding to keep doing what works for them.

  Notable Moments & Quotes:

  • "If I showed up every single time to record with a silly, goofy girl attitude, never talked about the real life shit that I’m going through... you’d also get a one star review, for sure." – Becky (11:19)
  • "Toxic positivity." – Kail (11:23)
  • "When I’m raw, real, and honest about my life, it makes people feel less alone. And that’s more important to me than making you feel like you feel, Empress." – Becky (11:24)
  • "You cannot make everyone happy. So we’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing." – Becky (15:30)

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3. Listener Story: A Teen Surprises Her Mom for Mother’s Day

Timestamps: 15:49–17:16

• Becky reads a heartwarming DM from a 16-year-old named Cooper, who reached out to arrange a surprise meeting between her mom and Becky at an upcoming tour stop.

  Notable Quote:
  "Could you imagine your kid reaching out to someone who is parasocially important to you…? Cooper’s mom, you raised a good kid." – Becky (16:37)

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4. Debate: Pronunciation of 'Tournament'

Timestamps: 17:27–19:19

• Becky and Kail bond over saying "tournament" (as in “tour”nament) and discuss regional language differences.

  Memorable Moment:

  • Gabby jokes about being “fluid” in her pronunciation and sexuality (18:33).

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5. Relationship Independence & Social Life Balance

Timestamps: 19:33–26:13

• Engaging discussion about maintaining individuality within relationships:

  • Becky enjoys socializing solo, while partner Leah prefers staying home—highlighting healthy balance and mutual respect.
  • Kail prefers to be at home or with her partner, Ike, but both have their own hobbies and time apart.

  Notable Quotes:

  • "If you feel like you have to drag your partner everywhere…that is a problem for sure." – Kail (23:12)
  • "You could be in a relationship where the best part…is always doing something with your partner because that’s the environment that you’ve created—in a healthy way." – Becky (23:59)

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6. Creepy News: Frogging and Home Intruders

Timestamps: 28:46–32:26

• Kail shares a story about "frogging" (unhoused people secretly living in others’ homes), referencing her son Lincoln’s fears and a real-life Arkansas incident.

• The duo debates the emotional responses and legal aspects (e.g. squatters rights), highlighting the fine line between empathy and personal safety.

  Quote:
  "If it’s a man in my home, unbeknownst to me—arrested, straight to jail…If it’s a woman, I’d be like, ooh, can I help her?" – Becky (30:18)

  • Kail fact-checks squatters’ rights using ChatGPT.

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7. Controversial Topic: A Grandmother Has a Child Using Her Late Son’s Sperm

Timestamps: 32:33–38:13

• The hosts dissect the viral story of a former actress who used her deceased son’s frozen sperm and a surrogate to have a granddaughter.

• They consider the ethics, legality, emotional complexity, and societal reactions—ultimately giving cautious approval if it reflected the son's true wishes, while recognizing the controversy.

  Highlights:

  • "I personally don’t see anything wrong with it if that was in fact her son’s wish..." – Kail (36:05)
  • "What if it wasn’t his last wish and she’s just a little loony girl obsessed with her son?" – Becky (37:07)
  • "Grandparents raise kids all the time." – Kail (37:07)

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8. Child Support, Embryo Ethics, and Family Law Tangents

Timestamps: 42:51–49:53

• Kail and Becky explore legal dilemmas with IVF, divorce, child custody, and child support.

• They debate who is responsible for what when it comes to frozen embryos after a breakup, discuss policy changes (passport denial for child support debtors), and reflect on the harsh realities of post-relationship parenting.

  Notable Quotes:

  • "Child support…also supposed to cover things like a portion of the rent, a portion towards utilities, because those are things that are necessities for the child." – Kail (47:55)
  • "You cannot undo a child. Like, literally, a child will attach you to someone permanently, forever." – Kail (50:04)

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9. Trending Topics & Pop Culture

Timestamps: 51:08–66:41

• Ted Lasso discussion: Becky encourages Kail to watch the popular series (now spawning a spin-off).

• Debate over Rotten Tomatoes and trustworthy movie reviews, referencing “Mother!” and “Everything Everywhere All At Once.”

• The hosts discuss their own self-diagnosed intelligence, learning styles, and difficulty with complex or critically acclaimed media.

  Quote:
  "You don’t have to be smart to read, but you have to be smart when you’re... In order to read complex books or books that require you to critically think, you need to be smart. And we’re not reading those types of books." – Kail (61:12)

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10. Internet Lore: Brianna Chickenfry and Barstool Shipping

Timestamps: 66:41–69:13

• The duo digress into TikTok trends and internet lore, specifically the blossoming online "ship" between Barstool personalities Brianna Chickenfry and Reed—discussing parasocial relationships and digital age dating drama.

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11. Personal Anecdotes: Becky’s Accidental Photo With Politician & College Reunion

Timestamps: 69:13–71:47

• Becky recounts awkwardly being photographed with a politician at a friend’s event, leading to a comical online rumor mill.

• A chance encounter with a college acquaintance brings back memories—especially the fact that someone knows her from “dating a man.”

  Quote:
  "Imagine someone knowing me from dating a man. Top 5 horror films." – Becky (71:38)

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12. Karma & Chaos Story: Is This Karma or Just Chaos?

Timestamps: 72:00–74:30

• Becky reads a listener-submitted story about inheriting responsibility for a troubled teen—the son of a former childhood rival, asking whether it’s “karma” or “chaos”.

• Both agree: it’s just life (“chaos”), not cosmic payback, and commend the listener’s dedication in raising someone else’s child.

  Highlights:

  • "I think it’s just chaos. I don’t think there’s karma built into that." – Becky (73:30)
  • "You’re actually in fact doing the Lord’s work by raising someone else’s child." – Kail (74:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "When I’m raw, real, and honest about my life, it makes people feel less alone. And that’s more important to me than making you feel like you feel, Empress." – Becky (11:24)
• "Toxic positivity." – Kail (11:23)
• "Could you imagine your kid reaching out to someone who is parasocially important to you and trying to get them an introduction? ... Cooper’s mom, you raised a good kid." – Becky (16:37)
• "If you feel like you have to drag your partner everywhere…that is a problem for sure." – Kail (23:12)
• "You cannot undo a child ... a child will attach you to someone permanently, forever." – Kail (50:04)

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Episode Flow & Tone

This episode weaves humor, vulnerability, and realism, shifting seamlessly from playful banter to thoughtful discussion on serious topics. The hosts don’t shy away from tough criticism or thorny conversations, and embrace their audience's feedback and curiosity—even when it's uncomfortable. The tone remains light and relatable, with raw admissions about depression, intelligence gaps, and the impossibility of universal popularity.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed the episode, here's what you need to know:

• Kail and Becky tackled internet feedback head-on, reinforcing their belief in being raw and real—even if it isn't always popular.
• They navigated controversies big (grandparent surrogacy, squatters rights, child support) and small (pronunciation wars, pop culture debates).
• Stories ranged from sweet DMs to TikTok trends and personal awkward moments.
• The central message: no one can please everyone, real friendship accepts all moods, and embracing "chaos" is part of being truly authentic.

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For more, get involved in their Facebook Group or leave a (hopefully kind!) review—Kail and Becky will be reading!

Transcript

[Kayla]

Spring just slid into your DMs.

[Becky]

Grab that boho.

[Becca]

Look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals

[Kayla]

that can keep up with you. And hang some string lights to give

[Becky]

your patio a glow up.

[Becca]

Spring's calling, Ross. Work your magic.

[Becky]

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[Kayla]

Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it. And we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the Father motherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on killlowry.com. and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else.

[Becky]

Good morning, good evening, good day, good night to all. Everyone except for kale. Good morning, Mr. Bex.

[Kayla]

Good morning, Mr. BEX. Hi ho the Derry O.

[Becky]

Good morning, Mr. BEx. I sing that to the Becks every single morning. And now you guys get it.

[Kayla]

And I love that for you.

[Becky]

And Ikey and I were singing it to Kale this morning.

[Kayla]

Yeah, it wasn't Good morning, Ms. Kale, but whatever.

[Becky]

Welcome back to another episode of Karma and Cass. We are here in the beautiful, sunny California.

[Kayla]

Yeah, we're still here. We're in the same outfits. And we'll head to Harry Jowsey after this.

[Becky]

Nice.

[Kayla]

Excited?

[Becky]

I texted my nieces and they were like, no way.

[Kayla]

You know, so I'm excited for that. I feel like I've done a couple other podcasts lately. I did Baby Gang, which is a spin off from Lady Yang Fun.

[Becky]

What's that about?

[Kayla]

Well, so that one specifically is about, like parenthood. And I think one of the girls from Lady Gang had a baby, so she's doing that whole thing and being a mom. And so we did that. And then I did Low Bosworth from Laguna beach and the Hills. And then I'll go do Harry Jowsey. And then, oh, I did Brittany Cartwright from Vanderpump and the Valley. And so we'll do Harry today. And then I do Caitlin Bristowe next week.

[Becky]

I'm just looking up Lady Gang. I've never heard of them.

[Kayla]

Oh, they're cool. Kelty's. She's like a red carpet correspondent. She's cool. She's really cool. Yeah. Actually haven't talked to her in years, but Becca is on Baby Gang and it's like a spin off.

[Becky]

Fun. We did. You did E yesterday.

[Kayla]

I did E yesterday. Yeah, that was a fun time to promote tour and to talk about that. And if you guys are interested, I did my first book. Narration of it started with a Whisper by Rob Shooter. I was the narrator for that book and I know that it was my first time.

[Becky]

It's out.

[Kayla]

It's out. Yes. You guys can order it on audible. I did my best. I did have strep throat. I did have to re record half of the book because of technical difficulties. And so I really did my best and if you guys could just be really nice to me about it, that would be great. But last week I did promise.

[Becky]

What was the book? I want to look it up.

[Kayla]

It started with a Whisper by Rob. Rob Shooter.

[Becky]

It started with a whisper. Let's you think there's a little preview of it.

[Kayla]

Oh my God. Dedication to the leakers, the droppers and the Just my.

[Becky]

Wow, it's on.

[Kayla]

That's really my voice and it's not. You made this book possible. And to anyone who ever said I probably shouldn't be telling you this, thank you for your service.

[Becky]

Is that just the who Epograph Gossip is just news. Let's do chapter one.

[Kayla]

Chapter one. I was the first to hear the whispers. Not the loud, crashing kind that announces itself like an uninvited guest, but the soft, insidious kind that slips into the room, curling around your ankles.

[Becky]

Look at you, girl.

[Kayla]

New career path unlocked. So audible. Audible. Call me Spotify. Call Me, I'm. I'm really cheap right now, but at some point I will raise the rate. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, but. So last week I promised that I would read some reviews for. From Spotify and Apple. So I'm gonna go ahead and do that. I'm gonna pull up Apple ratings first. And I'm a little nervous.

[Becky]

I'm nervous because I think there was a lot. There were some that were, like, mean about me, and I don't take criticism very well. Yeah, let's go. Let's see what we got.

[Kayla]

Okay, let's see. Let's see what we got.

[Becky]

Gabby's laughing at us.

[Kayla]

I mean, it's been a long time since we've read reviews, so I don't

[Becky]

actually think we've ever read them. So.

[Kayla]

True.

[Becky]

Are you thinking of someone else?

[Kayla]

Probably. Probably thinking of someone else. Probably know how to get to the reviews. So if you guys could just bear with me, that would be fantastic.

[Becky]

I don't think Spotify has reviews. No, they just have comments.

[Gabby]

Do you want me to.

[Becky]

Yeah, you want to read some of them?

[Gabby]

You'd have to wear the headphone to hear it. Okay, first one off the bat. Love, Absolutely love this duo.

[Becky]

Guys, this is Gabby. Gabby is our. Are you a producer?

[Kayla]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Gabby is the producer at Podcast one. So that's the studio that we're at right now. And so she's going to read some that we can react to.

[Gabby]

So we started with a great one. Love, Absolutely love this duo.

[Becky]

Started with a great one. Here we go.

[Gabby]

Dang. Why this is a one star review. I'm super bummed about the last episode. I loved listening to you guys this whole time, but the undertone of your opinions lately are just alienating your listeners.

[Kayla]

Oh, interesting.

[Becky]

Wonder what that was about. Probably about ice.

[Gabby]

So another. Another one star. I get that. Like that. I get that Ike is your boyfriend. Love Kale and Becky and all the podcasts. But I also agree with other comments. Stop pushing Ike into us.

[Becky]

We addressed that last episode, so hopefully. Hopefully your opinion is pretty long.

[Gabby]

It's a little bit of a long rant.

[Kayla]

Yeah, let's not.

[Becky]

Yeah,

[Gabby]

this one is simply. It's three stars.

[Kayla]

Ooh. Okay.

[Becky]

Okay. A little three star.

[Kayla]

Um, honestly, they say that three stars are the most honest ratings, so, um, I could take that.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Gabby]

We have a nice five star review here, period.

[Becky]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Why all the hate? Love this duo in all caps.

[Kayla]

We love that. We love you.

[Becky]

We do love you. What's their name?

[Gabby]

AshleyM1.

[Kayla]

We love you.

[Becky]

We love you.

[Gabby]

Been listening for a while now. I love Kayl and Becky. I listen to Kayl's other pods as well. They're so funny and as real as it gets. Also, I like hearing Alessandro's opinions when she cuts in, so stop hating. Y' all. Be kind.

[Kayla]

That's right. We love that.

[Becky]

Yeah, we love the support. We also love feedback, though, so don't be afraid to give it.

[Kayla]

Yeah. Maybe we could do, like an every other episode kind of vibe where it's like, we're the best of both worlds.

[Becky]

For sure.

[Gabby]

We got another five star.

[Kayla]

Okay.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Gabby]

They. They vote. No more guests. I'd rather hear Kale and Becky.

[Kayla]

Yep.

[Becky]

We don't really have that many guests on, though.

[Kayla]

No, we've had two. And I think for the entire duration of this podcast, we've had two. We've had Tyeese Gibson for the.

[Becky]

Which I think people actually like.

[Kayla]

People liked that episode. And then we had Morgan, which was your friend.

[Becky]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't think people were talking about Morgan's episode. They were probably talking. What. What would they.

[Kayla]

Anyway, it doesn't matter either way. We. We do try to keep the. The guests at minimum, so that's not an issue.

[Becky]

Yeah, Non issue.

[Gabby]

Okay. This is a five star review. The title of it is Talking with a Mouth Full. Kale. This one is for you.

[Kayla]

Of course it is.

[Gabby]

It says, kale, I love you so much, but for the love of God, please stop speaking with food in your mouth.

[Kayla]

I'm sorry.

[Gabby]

I literally cannot focus on anything being said when you do that. That. There's one episode I had to completely turn off because you did it almost the entire time. Sincerely, someone's struggling to listen.

[Kayla]

Are we sure it was my mouthful or did I have strep. Strep throat.

[Becky]

It was your mouthful. Stop trying to blame it on an illness. But thanks for the five stars, though.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Five stars from ds.

[Becky]

Yeah. Shout out. For not bringing down the radio. Shout out. And we did. We do yell at Kale for that.

[Kayla]

No. Y' all do. And honestly, I do appreciate that. Is that is the proper way to do constructive feedback is like, I love you. Here's five stars. But also, stop eating. Stop eating. So I really like you and I appreciate that.

[Gabby]

Caitlin333 says, I'm begging you to come to Cleveland, Ohio, on your next tour.

[Kayla]

Well, we're doing Cincinnati. I am doing Cincinnati. So consider that one. I know it's a little bit far, but consider that one. It goes based off availability. So if I'M available, and the venue is available. I'm only traveling when I don't have my kids. That's why certain cities are not on the tour.

[Becky]

If I have to hear you say that one more time, let's all just listen to this, okay? Kale does not choose where she's going on tour. So you guys can ask her to come to your city, but it doesn't matter. It's not going to happen because it's based on her availability.

[Kayla]

That is true. That is true. I can try.

[Becky]

Find a city closest to you.

[Kayla]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Please. I want to see you. I want to kiss you on your forehead, you know?

[Kayla]

Correct. But sometimes it's just not possible.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Thank you.

[Becky]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

Do you want one?

[Kayla]

Yeah. One more?

[Becky]

Yeah. Mean one to me.

[Gabby]

It's only fair.

[Becky]

Yeah, it is fair.

[Kayla]

It is.

[Becky]

Here we go.

[Gabby]

This is a one star, and the title is why. This is from the Empress.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kayla]

The Empress is crazy.

[Gabby]

Energy is so off, and Becky is definitely not showing up to her job. If you're going to present with a dirty attitude, just stay home. Kale handled it well. But I'm disgusted at Becky with three tomatoes.

[Becky]

Tomato, tomato, tomato. I wonder what episode that was. You know, Empress, God forbid a girl goes through depression, okay? Crawling. I'm on a ladder. I'm almost at the top right now, getting out of my depression.

[Kayla]

That actually breaks my heart because here's the thing. Everyone has bad days. And yes, while I would agree, like, on, in the grand scheme of things, you don't want to always go to work with the bad day attitude, but sometimes it's just, you're doing the best you can.

[Becky]

You know what it is? If I showed up every single time to record with a silly, goofy girl attitude, never talked about the real life shit that I'm going through.

[Kayla]

You'd also get a one star review, for sure.

[Becky]

Like, why is she always so happy?

[Kayla]

Toxic positivity.

[Becky]

Why is she always so this. And you know what? When I'm raw, real, and honest about my life, it makes people feel less alone. And that's more important to me than making you feel like you feel empress.

[Kayla]

Honestly, I've gone through seasons of my life with that type of attitude. So you showing up to a podcast once or twice with a. With a. With a. With a dark attitude. I'm gonna give you some grace.

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Hell, yeah. Like, that's what life is. And I feel like you guys are my friends. Right?

[Becca]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

You know, it's like, you wouldn't shut your friends out if they're in a bad mood.

[Becky]

You know, unless, you know, if the majority wants me to just turn on a personality and just be happy all the time, I could do that. But I feel like bringing that other side and I. Yeah, well, Okay. I feel like every other ad these days is for GLP1. And I get it.

[Gabby]

I've.

[Becky]

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[Kayla]

Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm going to give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair.

[Becky]

It's done.

[Kayla]

The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana. Give it a whirl. Love ya.

[Becca]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on Carvana.

[Becky]

Pickup fees may apply.

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[Becky]

Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Becca]

Really?

[Becky]

At a playground?

[Becca]

Yeah. Really. Look at these listings from dealers.

[Becky]

Wow, your search can really get that specific.

[Becca]

Really?

[Becky]

And you Just put in your info and boom. Cars in your budget.

[Becca]

Mom needs a second.

[Becky]

Honey, you can really have it delivered.

[Becca]

Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership.

[Gabby]

One sec, sweetie.

[Becky]

Mommy's buying a car. Mommy, I think your kid is walking up the slide. Kyle. Again? Really?

[Becca]

Autotrader. Buy your car online. Really?

[Becky]

Thanks for ending on that note.

[Kayla]

We're done with the reviews. Hopefully next time we'll read some more positive ones. But those were the real reviews.

[Becky]

Those were the real ones. And we're still here.

[Kayla]

We are still here. No tears were shed? No. And I'm waiting on my doordash order because I did cry my makeup off a little bit. So I'm going to touch it up before we leave today.

[Becky]

Wow. So if you're listening, you haven't left a nice review. Go in there, head in there and really just hype us up.

[Kayla]

Truly, we need it. We need it after those one star reviews.

[Becky]

Honestly, Fascinating. Can't really make anyone happy. Happy. That's what one thing I've really learned about this podcast is like. Or just podcasting in general. I cannot make everyone happy. And so we're just going to keep doing what we're doing because it's working for me. Is it working for you?

[Kayla]

Yeah, it is, actually. So I can't complain. Honestly.

[Becky]

I would like to go ahead and read a DM that I got the other day.

[Kayla]

Okay. I'm a little nervous. Was it bad?

[Becky]

No, I already read it to you. I got a DM from someone named Cooper. So if. If you have a daughter named Cooper.

[Kayla]

I like that.

[Becky]

For a girl, I do too.

[Kayla]

That's cute.

[Becky]

Your daughter reached out to me and she said, hi, my name is Cooper. I'm a 16 year old. I'm reaching out for my mom. She is a single mom. She does everything for me. She's truly the best person and I couldn't imagine my life without her. She recently told me all she wants for Mother's Day is to meet you in Nashville because she knows you're coming. If we could make that happen, it would be the best surprise ever. Let me know if it would be possible. Thank you so much.

[Kayla]

I love that.

[Becky]

Could you imagine your kid reaching out to someone who is parasocially important to you and trying to get them an introduction because it's that important to them? I would. Cooper's mom, you raised a good kid. And I hope by the time this podcast comes out that we did meet, because really sweet. I did respond and say, I will be at the bar from three to five. And if you can get your mom there, I would love to meet her.

[Kayla]

That's really sweet, Becky.

[Becky]

How cute is that?

[Kayla]

That is really. I mean, I. It's cute. It is really cute.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

So I hope you get to meet her.

[Becky]

I hope I get to meet Cooper's mom.

[Kayla]

Yeah. Did you message her back?

[Becky]

I did.

[Kayla]

Did you tell her where you'll be at between those hours? Okay. Well, I hope it works out, and I can't wait to. I hope you film it.

[Becky]

Well, I'm vlogging the whole day. It's gonna hit. It's gonna be it. By this time, you're listening to this, you've seen the vlog. Hopefully, if I survived the. Whatever it is, I. Okay. I saw a question in our Facebook group, and I wanted to. To bring it forward for us to talk about. First, I want to. Just briefly, I know that you guys had this argument on coffee combos. Don't want to really get too deep into it, but when I was on my Sunday reset, I said tournament. And they were like, that's not how you say it. It's tournament. And I was like, how is it spelled? And they were like, it's T O U R. I'm like, why do you say it like tournament, then? Apparently, we are on the same.

[Kayla]

You and I are on the same

[Becky]

team, which is crazy because that never happens.

[Kayla]

Tournament.

[Becky]

It is tournament.

[Kayla]

It's absolutely tournament.

[Becky]

Why?

[Kayla]

How would you say tour? T O U r. It's weird.

[Becky]

Gabby, how do you say tournament?

[Gabby]

I think I fluctuate between two, but. Tournament. Tournament. I could go both ways.

[Kayla]

It's a tournament.

[Becky]

Are you like that in your sexuality, too?

[Kayla]

She might be fluid. Leave her alone. It's tournament.

[Becky]

It is tournament.

[Kayla]

Because you wouldn't say, we're going on tour, right? Like, Lindsay is going on tour.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

You wouldn't say.

[Becky]

I didn't even know. That was a. Like a disagreement.

[Kayla]

Yeah, yeah. It's definitely regional, but it's tournament.

[Becky]

And then we were. I was saying in the group chat, and then that's when Kayla was like, how do you say all? And I'm like, oil.

[Kayla]

But you also say Kaylin and Kayla instead of Kayla and Kalyn.

[Becky]

I just said Kayla.

[Kayla]

You say Kayla.

[Becky]

Kayla.

[Kayla]

It's Kayla.

[Becky]

Well, whatever. Okay.

[Kayla]

Anyway, bridesmaid. I'm so excited. She said kayl. We talked. Because I, like. She, like, put me in a group chat with all her bridesmaids, and I texted her on the side, and I was like, hey, is this, like, a general wedding chat, or is this like the bridesmaids. And she said, kayl, we talked about this. You're a bridesmaid. And I was like, no way. Like, so excited. Okay, so I did screenshot a bunch of stuff to discuss.

[Becky]

I literally just said I had a question.

[Kayla]

Oh, my bad. I thought that was the question.

[Becky]

Was the tournament okay, this is rel. It says relationship independence. Do you keep a life of your own outside of your partner, or are you guys a package deal? Whether it's a solo hobby or a night out with friends, do you prioritize that me time? Also, is it hard to maintain your own social life if your partner doesn't have many friends of their own? Does it ever feel like a struggle to balance your time without someone feeling left out?

[Kayla]

You go first. Because people don't want me to push Ike on everyone. So I'll let you go first.

[Becky]

Well, I think it's probably relative for our relationships a little bit, actually. Probably not at all.

[Kayla]

It's not. It's not.

[Becky]

I think it's so situational. It is. It is not. There is absolutely no relationship in the same. Right. Like, for me, I have my own life outside of Leah.

[Kayla]

Because your phone ringing.

[Becky]

Oh, it is. Hold on one second.

[Kayla]

Hi, Mr. Bex. What's it doing?

[Becky]

Hi. Is that my big boy? What are you eating? Wow. I wish I could just kiss those cheeks. All right, we're recording. I love you. I wanted to say Hi there. Bye, Mr. Man. I love you so much. Okay, so I enjoy being outside of my house. I enjoy spending time with people. I enjoy making plans. I enjoy having, like, a random person call me and be like, hey, you want to grab a drink? Leah loves to be home. She would rather nothing else than to be in her bed. So, like, our needs from a friendship and life building are different. And so I have a life outside of our relationship. While I would love for her to want to do all those things with me, that's not what she wants. That's not what makes her happy. And so I think it's important to figure out the balance of what you need. But if you're with someone who likes you, feel is leeching off of your. Then that's different. Right? Like, if you don't want your person to be with you all the time, but you feel like you have to drag them. Like, there needs to be conversation around that.

[Kayla]

Yeah, no doubt. I. I'm much like Leah. I don't want to do anything outside my house. I want to be in my house.

[Becky]

She just wants to hang out with me, too.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I want to hang out with Ike. I want to be home. I don't want to do anything. But he loves to fish, so if there's time in the schedule, go fishing. I'm more than content staying home while you go fishing. He went on a fish fishing trip with his, you know, guys, and it was a couple. A couple days. He's gonna do it again this year. Like, I'm more than fine with that. I. We also do separate things at home, so he likes to, like, tie his bugs for fishing. He likes to. He loves to watch, like, fishing videos and things like that. I am not that way, but I will read or, you know, just chill, and I'm fine with that. So we'll do separate things in the house. But. But I think when we're at a stage in our personal life where we're typically either doing separate things at home or we're hanging out or he'll go fishing. But I don't want, like, I don't hang out with my friends at home. If I do, they're at my house. Like, I don't want to leave.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

So I'm much like Leah.

[Becky]

Yeah. I think it's just finding that balance. But I do feel like there's probably people who are, like, form that codependency of. Of not feeling like you can do something without the other.

[Kayla]

Yeah. And I think that sometimes it comes down to, like, I'm generalizing here. So if this doesn't apply to you, it doesn't apply to you. But I think there's a lot of. A lot more trust issues than people are willing to admit. And a lot of it boils down to trust. They don't want their partner to go out with their friends because of trust issues. And that's obviously a bigger conversation where, like, I know when I go. Going out, he's like, I'm not worried about it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care. Same when I was with my ex. When I was with Elijah, I never questioned that either. So. And you see where that got me. So. But. So I just. I say all that to say that I think that sometimes it's like, if you feel like you have to drag your partner everywhere you go because you don't want them to go do something else. Like, that is a problem for sure.

[Becky]

But, like, you don't have a healthy balance of, like, doing things you want to do. But there could. You could be in a relationship where the best part of your life is always doing something with your partner because that's like the environment that you've created between your two in a healthy way. So it's hard. It's. I mean, you can't talk about other people's situations. But, like, I would not be happy if I didn't have time with. With just, like, my friends.

[Kayla]

Fair. If I have my friends over, Ike, probably, he might, like, he'll be in the house, but he's not gonna, like, hang out with us. He would, but he'll go do, like, his bug tying stuff or he'll go fishing or do, you know, whatever he wants to do. And I don't. It doesn't matter.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Excuse me. It doesn't bother me.

[Becky]

But also the things that I'm doing with my friends aren't things that Leah would want to be doing. So, like, if I was. I don't even know, like, going sightseeing, Leah would want to do that. So, like, I wouldn't do that without her. But, like, I'm going golfing, I'm going to the bar, I'm going to watch sports or something, I don't know with my friend. So it's not like I'm doing things that. And not inviting her.

[Kayla]

It's that they're just not of her interest.

[Becky]

No.

[Kayla]

Yeah. I mean, like, I don't have. I don't have interest in, like, fishing and stuff. So if I was to go with Ike, I would just read my book on the side.

[Becky]

It's like tour, right? Like, people keep asking if Leah's gonna be at tour, and I. In my mind, I really wanted to try to convince her to come to one of the tour dates. But, like, she wouldn't.

[Kayla]

Like, she was not her thing. Yeah. Like, why?

[Becky]

Like, yeah, I want her there to support me, but also, like, do I want to feel, like, worried about if she's okay, if she's having fun? I don't know. We're. I'm still too TBD if I'm gonna force her maybe to the Philly show or something.

[Kayla]

Oh, yeah. But she could also, like, be in the area too.

[Becky]

Yeah, but then it's. She's also, like. She also hasn't spent time away from Bex yet.

[Kayla]

She's not ready, which is fair.

[Becky]

So, like, I don't want to be forcing her to do that to come watch me yip yap with you on stage.

[Kayla]

And no harm, no foul. I don't give a. I mean, I love Leah. I think she's great. But if she doesn't want to come, like, that doesn't hurt. My feelings.

[Becky]

Let's get real. Bex is 10 months old and I am just not into cooking. Like I want to eat well, I want actual food. But between feedings and trying to squeeze in anything else, you know, just existing standing over a stove just, just is not happening right now. Tempo is a reason I'm not eating crackers for lunch. They deliver fresh chef crafted dietitian approved meals right to your door and they're ready in two minutes. Not heat and hope for the best. They're actually good new recipes every single week so it doesn't get boring and they've got options for whatever your goals are. Protein packed with up to 30 grams of protein. Calorie conscious, even GLP1 balanced meals. Maria Shaprova swears by them which honestly, that's enough for me. Real food real fast. No drive through regret. That's it. That is the pitch. For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60 off your first box. Go to Tempo meals.com karma that's tempomeals.com karma for 60 off your first box. Tempomeals.com karma rules and restrictions may apply. Hey everyone, My name is Torah Couture and I'm the host of Tell Me what Happened, a podcast that shares true stories of people helping people. We're back with another season and have a ton of amazing new episodes. From freak accidents to unlikely friendships. Plus this season has one of my favorite stories we've ever done on the podcast. If you're new here, welcome. And if you're already a fan of the show, welcome back. I can't wait for you to listen to season six of the Tell Me what Happened podcast. Out now. Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Becca]

Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget. You can really have it delivered or pick it up.

[Becky]

I think kid is walking up the slide. Really?

[Becca]

Auto trader Buy your car online? Really?

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[Kayla]

Okay, I did screenshot a bunch of stuff to discuss. This is Lincoln's worst fear. Okay, have you ever seen like the documentaries on like ID channel for froggers. You know what frogging is?

[Becky]

I do not. Please.

[Kayla]

It's basically when a per, like a someone who is. What is the proper term? Unhoused. Yes, unhoused. Lives in like your basement or your attic and you don't know.

[Becky]

Interesting.

[Kayla]

So there was like a documentary or an episode. I can't remember if it was like a season of shows. But there were Froggers was like frogging and it freaked Lincoln out. Like it freaked him out to the point that, like that during that time period every noise that he heard he was like, oh, it's a frogger. You know what I mean? Like he freaked him out. And this was like over the last two years.

[Becky]

I wonder how common that is.

[Kayla]

Well, so I get online and I see a post about an Arkansas family. This was on. I was, I was just scrolling and it is a verified account. So it's a real news article. Arkansas family finds homeless man living in the basement after noticing items missing. What the fuck would you do if you found somebody living because they haven't hurt anyone? But that is so unsettling.

[Becky]

Well, first of all, it would matter if it was a man or a woman.

[Kayla]

Also do they have squatters rights at that point or because it was unknown?

[Becky]

Well, no, because they're breaking in, right? Isn't it breaking and entering if it's like your own residence?

[Kayla]

Let me ask Chat GPT because I

[Becky]

don't know, but like it makes a difference to me if it's a woman or a man. If there is a man in my home, unbeknownst to me, arrested, straight to jail or straight to the shed because I can't be trusted with a man in my roof, under my roof. If it was a woman, I'd be like, ooh, can I help her? Like maybe let her live there for a little bit?

[Kayla]

No, absolutely not. So I asked ChatGPT, would a Frogger have squatters rights if a person had no idea and it said not usually a frogger. Someone secretly living in another person's home without their knowledge generally would not gain squatters rights simply by hiding there. In the US squatters rights usually require several conditions over a long period of time. But a frogger's entire situation is typically the opposite of open and notorious, which is one of the key legal requirements. Secretly living in attic, basement, crawl space, etc usually weakens any adverse possession possession claim significantly. This obviously varies by state. This is also not legal advice, but it's so interesting to me because I'm like, I mean People will do anything out of desperation and survival. Right. Like, you're, you're seeing an opportunity and, like, I need to go survive here. But, like, you could do that in a, in an abandoned home or like an abandoned business. Like, I, you doing that to a family is absolutely terrifying.

[Becky]

What if it's a woman?

[Kayla]

No, I don't care. That's actually really concerning.

[Becky]

Yeah, but like, what's a woman and a kid?

[Kayla]

If it's a woman and a kid. Yeah, if it's a woman and a kid, I'm going to try to help them. But we're not. You didn't say kid.

[Becky]

Yeah, I, It's. I don't think someone would be in my house. I live in the middle of nowhere, but I guess you never know.

[Kayla]

I feel like that's like the.

[Becky]

Someone could live in my basement and I would have no clue.

[Kayla]

Someone could live in my crawl space and I would have no idea.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Anywhere else. They would not get away with it because we use every inch of our house and the attic. You would have to. We would hear you because by the time you got up there, like, we would have seen you or heard you. But we also have cameras all over our property, so good luck.

[Becky]

Same, actually. What's the book that you like? The Freedom McFadden book.

[Kayla]

Book. No spoilers.

[Becky]

Put a trigger warning before that. If you've never read that book. And. Okay, anyway.

[Kayla]

Which one?

[Becky]

Never lie.

[Kayla]

Never lie.

[Becky]

Similar.

[Kayla]

Frogger was there.

[Becky]

Why look like me like that?

[Kayla]

I don't remember there being a Frogger in that. Yes, I do. Wow. You are so correct. The guy.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Oh. The next thing that I screenshotted. Okay. I wanted to get your opinion on this because I do think this is going to be a controversial. Like, we're gonna have varying opinions on this. A woman used her dead son's sperm to have his baby, and she just recently opened up about being a grandmother. How do you feel about her, about someone using their dead son's sperm?

[Becky]

I need to know more.

[Kayla]

Okay, let me google.

[Becky]

Because, like, is it with a wife that he had or was it a random woman that, that she like. And like, how did, did he already supply the sperm somewhere? Right. Like, him, his sperm must have been in a sperm bank.

[Kayla]

Okay. It says former actress Anna o' Braggon o' Brien caused an international scandal when she used her dead son's sperm, frozen and a surrogate to welcome her granddaughter into the world in 2023 after he dies from cancer.

[Becky]

I, I'm, I, I don't. Wow. What a Complex thought process. My gut is like, oh, that's kind of cool.

[Kayla]

I think it's kind of cool.

[Becky]

But then I'm like, I wouldn't want my mom to use my frozen egg to have a grandchild.

[Kayla]

I'm more so looking at it from a place of her wanting a piece of her son to live on.

[Becky]

Yeah, but like it's so like situational of like did her son like her? Like did they have a good relationship? Was. That's so fascinating. And a surrogate. So there's not any type of parental. Like it's literally just her and it's not a grandchild. So the kid is not going to have any parent. Like so she willingly brought a child into the world that has zero parent. So like maybe not right.

[Kayla]

But like she's raising it as a parent.

[Becky]

Yeah, but she's being a grandmother.

[Kayla]

No, she's being a parent, but she's biologically the grandmother.

[Becca]

Oh.

[Becky]

So she's saying that she's her. His mom. The, the girl's mom. I don't know.

[Kayla]

Yeah, she's. Yeah. It says actress. This is obviously like a, just like a gossip site. It says actress becomes grandmother, mother after using late son sperm for surrogacy.

[Becky]

That's. We.

[Kayla]

I don't know. It says the, the sperm was frozen. So she used her son's frozen sperm to welcome a child through surrogacy. It says that. Let's see.

[Becky]

Maybe it's not weird. Wow. That makes me.

[Kayla]

The birth of Anita enabled her to fulfill her beloved son's final wish.

[Becky]

Oh.

[Kayla]

Tragically, he passed away in 2020 at just 27 years old after being diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. And. Go ahead.

[Becky]

Is bone cancer genetic?

[Kayla]

That, I mean you could probably be predisposed to it like anything else, like a history of cancer. She disclosed that one week before his death, her son who had frozen his sperm following his diagnosis, heartbreakingly told his father that he wanted to have a child. So Anna made the dream a reality by traveling to America to seek an egg donor and surrogate. And that was an option that was not available. Where they are. They were at. In, in Spain. Spain outlawed surrogacy in 2006, but it allegedly she could lose grandparents rights. That's what one of the other places is saying.

[Becky]

What a complex situation. I'm surprised that they even let her fall through with that.

[Kayla]

I, I personally don't see anything wrong with it if, if that was in fact her son's wish. And it's not something that's like you're obsessed with your son. And you're doing this because you have an unhealthy obsession with your son. But if you're doing this because he wanted a child and you also want to carry a piece like you wanted a piece of him to continue on, I could see that. And I don't see anything wrong with it. Because what is the harm? What is the harm?

[Becky]

I imagine the questions and the conversations

[Kayla]

that happen, but that's the same. I don't know if you are a heterosexual couple and use a surrogate or you're a gay couple. Like, who cares?

[Becky]

It's not the same.

[Kayla]

No, but it's like, okay, when you talk to Bex about how he was conceived and why he was conceived, you would talk about how you love Leah and you guys wanted a child, and so this is the route that you chose. Okay, well, your dad was diagnosed with cancer. He wanted a child. And I made that happen.

[Becky]

But then, like, your dad, like, your mom is your dad's mom. And like, I don't. I guess, whatever. To each their own.

[Kayla]

Grandparents raise kids all the time.

[Becky]

I know that they do, but, like, I have too many thoughts. I mean, like, what if it wasn't his last wish and she's just a little silly little loony girl that was obsessed with her son?

[Kayla]

I mean, right. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. We don't actually know, but sure, this is what Anna has told her granddaughter. I will tell you about your dad's courage and the life lesson he taught us all. I will tell you how much he dreamed of hugging you, taking care of you, and loving you, even though now he does it from heaven. In a separate post to coincide with that, Anna touched upon her son's death. She also delivered a message to the other mothers dealing with the death of a child, saying, it's the greatest force that exists. My heart goes out to all the moms who have angels in heaven, those who swallow tears with a smile to survive. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but that's just me. It's definitely a controversial topic, for sure.

[Becky]

I just. It feels weird because then, like, is she still married?

[Kayla]

I don't know.

[Becky]

I don't know. Too many questions.

[Kayla]

Leave us a comment. Write a review about it.

[Becky]

Like, what would you do if. If you died and Susie decided to, like, create another kid with your egg?

[Kayla]

Well, first of all, Susie doesn't need to raise any more children. But that's the other thing is, like, he did freeze his sperm too. So, like, you have. That has to be considered the fact that he did that.

[Becky]

Do people get rid of frozen sperm after people died? Like, do cryobanks get rid of people's.

[Kayla]

I think you have.

[Becky]

Like, how would they know? How would they.

[Kayla]

I think it depends. Like, if somebody from the estate. That's why it's so important to have a living will and an estate and a trust, because you can have all of that stuff in your trust or like in your living will.

[Becky]

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[Kayla]

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[Becky]

Imagine like someone like in your family dying. Then all of a sudden like more people pop up on your ancestry DNA because their sperm was donated somewhere.

[Kayla]

I think it was Eva Longoria. Maybe somebody was. It was like a famous actress and her husband had frozen embryos or something and they had to like put it in their divorce plan or whatever that one of they were not allowed to. I can't remember if they were not allowed to procreate without the other's permission or they could procreate without the other the other parents permission. I cannot remember what the circumstances were but it was like in their divorce settlement that was like yes we have these frozen eggs or embryos or whatever it was. But, no, you cannot continue, because then at that point, you're like, am I obligated to child support if I didn't consent to the. Or do you destroy them? Do you agree to destroy these embryos?

[Becky]

I know that when Lee and I went through it, we had to sign papers of what happened if one of us dies or if both of us die. But we never had to write anything about if we got divorced. But I guess we would have to go through that. Through.

[Kayla]

Okay, so this is what it was. It says, Eva Longoria. She's a mother of one. She welcomed Santiago in 2018. And it says, while reports in 2013 claim she froze her eggs while married to Tony Parker, she has primarily spoken about the IVF process. I think this was something about whether

[Becky]

or not I know a girl that was the first IVF baby born in, I think, Ohio.

[Kayla]

It says based on reports surrounding Eva Longoria's 2010, 2011 divorce from Tony Parker, there were claims regarding frozen eggs, but no widely reported legal battle or dispute over the frozen embryos. So that might have just been all rumors, but that's also something to consider for sure. Because what if you do do that and you're like, okay, we have these if. But then now we get divorced, and what if one of them wants to pursue this? Then what?

[Becca]

Could you.

[Becky]

Could you imagine if you went through IVF or if you, like, had followed because you were, like, considering it at one point?

[Kayla]

I did.

[Becky]

And, like, could you imagine what you would do if just in the back of your brain, you knew that you had embryos somewhere right now?

[Kayla]

Yeah, I'd probably use one.

[Becky]

I know you would.

[Kayla]

I would.

[Becky]

That's terrifying.

[Kayla]

Which, while we're on that topic of, like, controversial and, like, would you have. Have. Would you have to be. Would you be obligated for child support? I did just read that some states, it actually might be federal. They are going to start revoking passports to fathers and parents who owe child support. They're revoking passports. I don't know if that's. I guess it's like, federal child, child support and passports. So I know they've taken the jail time away out of a lot of states. Like, if you don't pay child support, you don't go to jail, but you do get your license suspended. This says if you owe $2,500 or more in child support, the U.S. department will deny or revoke your passport upon notification from state agencies.

[Becky]

I mean, yeah, seriously, why do you

[Kayla]

get to travel but you Owe child support that does that. You don't get to travel when you owe money to the, to your child.

[Becky]

Child support is so interesting to me because the fight against child support, but then the fight for custody, you're like,

[Kayla]

oh, I'll fight for custody so I don't have to pay child.

[Becky]

And it's like it's going to cost

[Kayla]

more money to have custody.

[Becky]

Yeah. And then that scares me. It's like I can't afford child support, but I want 50, 50.

[Kayla]

So I also can't get behind. Well, just tell me what the child needs and I'll pay for it.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Okay, so when I tell you that the child needs this right now, are you going to pay for it right now or when you get paid, it just becomes an ever, a never ending cycle, like an iou. So either way. And it's like I paid child support and she got her nails done. Okay. That specific $95 might have gotten her nails done, but out of her check. She covered all the necessities out of her own check.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

So that's not how that works. And also it's like, I think the other thing too is that a lot of dads who are ignorant, they don't realize that the child support also is supposed to cover things like a portion towards the mortgage or the rent, a portion towards utilities, because those are things that are necessities for the child. It's not just diapers, wipes and food. It's also such a great point to their living or gas to get them places or lunch money. Like you're not thinking about all those things. So yes, if you pay me a hundred dollars and I go get my nails done with that 100, I already paid out of my own check. Everything that two parents should have paid for.

[Becky]

Yeah. I would have never thought about like the equate of like rent and stuff too.

[Kayla]

Yeah, you have to consider that.

[Becky]

Yeah, 100%.

[Kayla]

1,000%.

[Becky]

1,000,000%.

[Kayla]

What would you say, like on average where Bex is at at 10 months old, what would you say you spend monthly on him? Diapers, wipes, food, shelter, all of the things.

[Becky]

Probably like, I don't know, a couple like $2,000 a month. Probably.

[Kayla]

So I was saying that for two kids, $2,000 a month is like a good amount.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

And I said that, I think I said it on TikTok Live and people were really up in arms about that. And I'm like, okay, well here's the thing.

[Becky]

But your rent, I mean, not that you have to have that high but like that's.

[Kayla]

No, but you. The child support is not meant to cover your entire rent. It's not meant to cover your entire bill of something. It's meant to cover the portion of the child.

[Becky]

Yeah, but if our bills are $5,000 a month, like 10, you know, 10% is a thousand dollars. 5% is 10 is a thousand dollars. 5%. $500. Yeah, half of it. Thank you. It's 500 bucks automatically for just like your cost of living, like your rent.

[Kayla]

Well, and so then you think about, okay, the baby stage is really expensive because we're talking about diapers, wipes, possibly formula. And we're not even including medical. Right. Because you often.

[Becky]

Medical, yeah, medical we're still paying is birth.

[Kayla]

So you have to consider that. But then as they get older and they're in sports and stuff, you have to consider that as well. So it's like you're replacing the diapers, wipes, formula with.

[Becky]

But food's expensive too. And gas is expensive, like getting them

[Kayla]

to like to school or to their after school activities or if there's therapies and co pays and things like that. And so it's really frustrating. Like I don't understand the. Well, just tell me what they need and I got it. Okay, so would you rather pay X amount of dollars a month in child support to cover those things or do you want to pay everything that I send you in a bill right then and there?

[Becky]

Yeah, it's like, wouldn't you want just to have a set knowing like how much is this?

[Kayla]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So you have what you need every month. That's how I would want it.

[Kayla]

Right, Yeah. I mean that. So you know what to expect every single month versus the unknown of each month. Month.

[Becky]

Yeah. It's so interesting.

[Kayla]

So that's kind of where we're at with food support.

[Becky]

Food for thought.

[Kayla]

I know for sure people need to

[Becky]

think harder and longer before they have children.

[Kayla]

Because I had someone once told me they would rather have a child with someone because marriage is permanent. And I said, what? You can get divorced, you cannot undo a child. Like, like literally, like they were more non committal regarding marriage than they were a child. I said, a child will attach you to someone permanently, forever. If you get divorced, you in theory could get it annulled.

[Becky]

You could never have to talk to that person ever again in your life.

[Kayla]

Me and Lindsay always say that on coffee combos. Like if we did not have children with these people, we would never talk to them again.

[Becky]

And I wish that was the case, honestly.

[Kayla]

But I love the kids. So thank you.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

You know what I mean?

[Becky]

Yeah. Huh.

[Kayla]

Say all that to say be careful who you have kids with because if they are the type of person to complain about child support, maybe not your. Maybe not for you.

[Becky]

Yeah. Talk about it before. You know.

[Kayla]

That won't even help if I'm being honest.

[Becky]

It might. It might help. It might not or don't have kids with someone that had red flags to begin with.

[Kayla]

Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. I have more screenshots, but go ahead

[Becky]

because it wasn't surprising. Couple of things. Ted Lasso is coming back.

[Kayla]

Who the fuck is Ted Lasso?

[Becky]

Ted Lasso is a TV show and you should watch it.

[Kayla]

Let me google.

[Becky]

You should watch it. Is it kid friendly? It is. You think so? So I would watch it with Lincoln.

[Kayla]

Ted Lasso. Okay. I mean, he looks interesting.

[Becky]

It's such a good show. It's so good. It's about an American football coach who got. Gets hired to coach a premier league soccer team in the uk.

[Kayla]

Do we have to start from season one?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kayla]

Okay. There's four seasons out right now.

[Becky]

You would really like it because there's like a boss ass. Like entrepreneur.

[Kayla]

Like entrepreneur.

[Becky]

I. In my mind. Do you want to know what just went through my mind? Flip the table. That's literally just like flip the table right now. That was my intrusive thought after you did that. So anyway, anyway. Ted Lasso. It ended.

[Kayla]

I mean, I was just saying it how you said it. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

Ted Lasso. Watch the show.

[Kayla]

Okay, I will.

[Becky]

Really good.

[Kayla]

I will. That's actually. But it's on Apple tv. I don't. Yeah, I have Apple tv. But I could not tell you why it's not connected.

[Becky]

Figured out anyway, this. The show ended. So there's how many seasons?

[Kayla]

Four.

[Becky]

There's four seasons. The show ended completely. But now they're starting a new Ted Lasso with a girls team.

[Kayla]

Okay, cool. So you know when they. You go online and you see ratings for shows and it's like 90 rotten tomatoes.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Rotten Tomatoes is a good thing, right?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kayla]

Okay. It's 90 rotten tomatoes.

[Becky]

Yeah. I don't really trust Rotten Tomatoes because. You ever seen the movie, I think it's called Mother.

[Kayla]

No.

[Becky]

It was the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, I still think about it all the time of like, maybe I should eat mushrooms and go watch it and maybe I'd like it better.

[Kayla]

Rotten Tomatoes for mother is 68.

[Becky]

It used to be higher.

[Kayla]

Yeah, it was.

[Becky]

It was 99. When it first came out.

[Kayla]

I've never heard of this in my whole life.

[Becky]

With Jennifer Lawrence or Jennifer what is

[Kayla]

it about Lawrence and the Reddit thread that's like, pop, I won't go on Reddit, so I'm not clicking on it. But it says, can someone explain what is up with Motherfucker?

[Becky]

Can you read the description of the movie?

[Kayla]

Yeah, it says what the heck is the Movie Mother About Mother 2017 is a psychological horror allego. Allegorical.

[Becky]

Allegorical.

[Kayla]

Allegorical film directed by Darren that serves as a metaphor for the Bible, environmental destruction and the creative process it follows a young woman, played by Jennifer Lawrence, nurturing a home with her husband, whose life turns into chaotic horror when uninvited guests arrive, mirroring a cycle of biblical destruction and divine narcissism. I don't know what any of that means. I have no clue what that means. If I go further A young woman spends her days renovating the Victorian mansion that she lives in with her husband in the countryside. When a stranger knocks on the door door one night, he becomes an unexpected guest in their home. Later, his wife and two children also arrive to make themselves welcome. Terror soon strikes when the beleaguered wife tries to figure out why her husband is so seemingly friendly and accommodating to everyone but her. What I what is the purpose of this? Like what is.

[Becky]

I don't understand. It is such a bad movie. And that's why I will never trust Rotten Tomatoes ever again. Because when it first came out, it had 99. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact that you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. They make it super simple. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with coverage options tailored to your choices. Plus, you'll see which discounts you may qualify for, like the online quote discount or saving for paying in full. In fact, 99% of Progressive Auto customers earn at least one discount. See if you could save when you switch to Progressive. You'll feel good about making a savvy choice. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliate national average 12 month savings of $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary, so you're running

[Becca]

out of closet space. The good news? You don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the RealReal. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in, the RealReal handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Celine, Louis Vuitton and Louisville offer up to 90% off retail, you're bound to find something perfectly on brand brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, this may only you can get an extra $200 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you go to therealrail.com to start selling and get your extra $200 to keep [e-mail] that's therealrail.com terms apply.

[Becky]

Have you seen the movie?

[Gabby]

So that director, this is like his, his movie that he wanted to make and it's his second movie. His first movie was like really big hit block, like did really good. And so they gave him the second one and it's just like, it's very surreal. It's very in your head and it's not for everyone. It's very specific.

[Becky]

It's not for me and I want to see it.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Where can I watch this?

[Becky]

You should eat some edibles and, and watch it.

[Gabby]

Definitely. It's a very strange movie.

[Becky]

It's not a.

[Gabby]

It's not a great movie. But it's like he did his weird movie after doing a very successful movie.

[Becky]

But I also, I would also that I'm not that smart. And so like really complex movies don't always like hit for you. So like that the movie everywhere, everybody everywhere all at once.

[Kayla]

I have no idea what that is

[Becky]

like, but that movie was too smart for me. No, it is like you needed it

[Kayla]

to be broken down.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like I wasn't smart enough to pick up on what was going on. Like interstellar mother daughter relationship.

[Gabby]

That's sci fi. That's very. That's nerdy.

[Becky]

Yeah. But I love that kind of stuff.

[Kayla]

But like I read a book like that. I read the vegetarian because I was on book talk and this woman who was incredibly smart was like putting out her recommendations. So I was like, I want to be like low key inspo. I want to be smart.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

So I pick up the vegetarian. I read it. It Was really fascinating, but I, I was not smart enough to grasp the concept. Like I didn't fully. Like I knew what was going on in the moment, but I don't know what the point was. Do you know what I'm saying to this day? Like, I don't know what the point is. So in the book, this woman has a dream. First of all, the book starts the vegetarian. Starts with his husband basically describing his wife as mediocre at best and not really in love with her. Like she's just okay, like he settled kind of. And she has a dream and she has to be a vegetarian. But that like extends to like she feels like she's a bad person because she eats animals and they're stuck to the inside of her stomach. I'm looking it up and then she starves herself to death. Like by choice. Okay, but if you could just look up.

[Becky]

It's a book.

[Kayla]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Oh, it's not a movie?

[Kayla]

No.

[Becky]

Okay, so she starves herself to death. Yeah, by choice.

[Kayla]

Yeah.

[Becky]

That sounds like a mental illness.

[Kayla]

Can you like look up what it means? Because I never googled it. Like break it down for like dummies.

[Becky]

It says the key aspects of this novel. You want me to read that?

[Kayla]

Sure.

[Becky]

The plot is after a bloody dream induced trauma, Young, high, please don't come after me for that. Stops eating meat. Which her husband and family view as bizarre, disobedient and unacceptable, Leading to an increasing spiral of violence, neglect and her eventual mental decline. The structure of it is, the novel is divided into three parts, each told from a different perspective. Her husband, her brother in law and her sister. Highlighting how others objectively and project their desires onto her. That sounds interesting.

[Kayla]

No, it was a very interesting book, but I don't think that I understood.

[Becky]

It says it's a desperate attempt to renounce human cruelty and violence. Moving toward a non human plant like state to escape her brutal reality.

[Kayla]

She wants to be a tree. Like it was just such a fascinating book, but I don't think that I'm smart enough to fully absorb what it was meant to be.

[Becky]

I do wish I was smarter sometimes.

[Kayla]

So do I. I also wish I was smarter sometimes. And it's like, is it the type of like abstract thinking that we can acquire over time by continuing to read and watch those types of movies? Or is that like a type of thinking that you have to essentially like be born with?

[Becky]

I don't know. That's a great question because I feel like both of us read a lot,

[Kayla]

but I don't think we're Reading the type of things that we would need to read to have, like, critical thinking skills.

[Becky]

I think I do.

[Kayla]

I do not have critical thinking skills. It's actually embarrassing.

[Becky]

No, like, I do. I consume fantasy books. So there's a lot of world building and critical thinking and connecting dots. I just skip over the dots. Right. Like, I'm just there. If I don't get something, I just push along and continue to read. I don't, like, care to try to decipher it.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I think, you know, it's one of those things where, like, you don't have to be smart to read, but you have to be smart when you're. In order to read complex books or books that. That require you to critically think, you need to be smart. And we're not reading those types of books. I'm reading junk thrillers. And by junk, I mean, like, I love them eating them up type of thriller. Or, like, emotionally distraught at the end of a book. But it's not causing me to critically think the way that a reader.

[Becky]

Interstellar is a great.

[Kayla]

I have no idea what that is. Right. But, like, I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that. Like, even Project Hail Mary, which I loved so much, I felt like I was. Because that's more sci fi.

[Becky]

I didn't love that that much.

[Kayla]

You didn't? I loved it so much. But I listened to it on audio.

[Becky]

Me too.

[Kayla]

And I loved it. And I felt like, am I too dumb for this?

[Becky]

That's exactly how I felt in the whole.

[Kayla]

But I loved it.

[Becky]

I felt dumb reading or listening.

[Kayla]

I want to watch the movie. I just.

[Becky]

Let's watch it together.

[Kayla]

I would love that. I would love that.

[Becky]

In all of our spare time.

[Kayla]

All of our spare time. All of our. But I am going to New Jersey to do for the haters, so I'm gonna stay the night.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Okay. And then we can just watch a movie then.

[Becky]

Yes, okay. Yeah, we can watch Project Hail Mary.

[Kayla]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Becky]

I. Although when I watch, I feel like I do see plots and things coming quickly when I'm watching movies or TV shows. Like, I pick up on, like, who's the killer or who. Like.

[Kayla]

Yeah, but I feel like that's not really, like, a critical thinking type of scenario.

[Becky]

I feel like I'm street smart. Like, I have a really Awareness.

[Kayla]

Situational.

[Becky]

Like, situational awareness. I'm like, I. What's the. Like, I have common sense.

[Kayla]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So, like, Leah and I are very. Leah's very book smart. Like, I.

[Kayla]

What's so fascinating And I know Alessandra touched on this a while back. Like, I can study and I can ace a test, but if I do not study, I'm not Asa. Like, there is never a world where I'm gonna show up to a seminar or a conference or something and memorize what is said to me and then be able to take a test on it. I am very much a. I need to study. I need a study guide. I need flashcards. I need. I have to work to be smart. Where I also grew up with people who were naturally smart.

[Becky]

That's how Leah is.

[Kayla]

Like, you just go to the class and you can hear a lecture and kind of retain a lot of it. Can't do that. No. Like, I'm not.

[Becky]

You could. You could say something right now and I'd forget it in 10 minutes.

[Kayla]

Oh, same, same.

[Becky]

I remember back in the day when Leah and I first started dating, she was. Was in PA School, and I would go there and I would get like, 10 minutes of her time because, like, she was just always studying, always doing everything. And, like, the way that she studied was like, she'd write out a singular page, but then that would be it. Like, she would consume that information from writing it down one time. Yeah. And, like, I'd have to. I'd probably write it 300 times and still walk away with nothing.

[Kayla]

Oh, yeah. My. My aunt, she's a pathologist in Pennsylvania. She got accepted into Yale. And, like, is so smart. But she didn't go to her classes. Like, she retained her content by not content. She can. She retained her. The information by reading the textbook and taking notes. And then she would go. Like, I think the attendance situation was different back then. And so that she was allowed to do that. And she. I mean, she did great. And she's a doctor and she works in the hospital setting. And I'm not that. I can't learn that way.

[Becky]

Like, I didn't even know an octopus and a squid. I thought they were the same thing, you know?

[Kayla]

Okay, so I would argue that I might be a little smarter than you then.

[Becky]

Maybe, but not when it comes to math. I feel like I am pretty smart in the things I do know.

[Kayla]

Yeah, you are. Like, you're very. Well, like, if I had to call somebody to talk to, like, about certain things, like business, and I know I would call you. Right. And then there are certain things I would call Alessandra, and there are certain things I would call Kayla for that. I know that you're knowledgeable about this for sure. So, yeah, I would Agree.

[Becky]

Yeah. I wanted to bring up the question that I asked you this morning because I found it to be so interesting. Interesting because I wouldn't have been able to assume. So I saw a TikTok and it was a guy asking two people from the UK. It was a UK based TikTok creator and he asked them, if the UK were to become a US state, where would they fall on the rankings? Right. Like it would then be 51 states. Where would it fall on the rankings from, like a wealth perspective?

[Kayla]

And my guess was number one. I thought that the UK would be richer than the richest state in the United States.

[Becky]

And it would be last.

[Kayla]

It would be last. Which is concerning it.

[Becky]

They said something like the UK used to be ahead of. I think it was like Mississippi or Missouri or something, but it now is dropped to last, which is just really like crazy to think about. Like how, like putting in context of like how powerful the economics here are. Let's not get into that conversation.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I'm not going to touch that because people were really upset about how I felt about all Arkansas, so.

[Becky]

About what?

[Kayla]

How I felt about Arkansas. On.

[Becky]

It sounded like you said Arkansas, Arkansas.

[Kayla]

Ar, Kansas.

[Becky]

Ar, Kansas. There is a. I don't know if you all know this lore that's going on and I'm really like obsessed with it on TikTok right now. You know who Brianna Chicken Fry is?

[Kayla]

Yes, she's been coming up on my for you page like every single day now.

[Becky]

So there's this kid that like a employee of Barstool, his name is Reed.

[Kayla]

Okay, I don't know who that is, but I know what Barstool is.

[Becky]

And Barstool does like these miniseries. Like they did like a summer house thing and they did like all this stuff. And so there's this like, kid that like popped up and there's like the whole Internet is like shipping them in a relationship. And it's like this young kid that, he's like, just super immature. But like in like a funny way, like, he seems really just like, what do I do? What do I text her? And do I like, do I just call Brianna Chicken Fry up? Like, what does this mean? And like the whole Internet is like shipping them to actually date. And for some reason, like, I'm just obsessed with this lore behind them too.

[Kayla]

So I enjoy interested in him.

[Becky]

It's funny because, like, at the beginning it felt like she was just like, oh, this is like a great bit for content. But in the one video that came up recently, it's him FaceTiming her and she's like, leaving the F1. F1 race or something. And she's like, looking around and she's like, like, he's actually, like, really cute. Like, he's like, really, like, good looking. And he is. He's like a good looking, like.

[Kayla]

But when you say he's young, is he a lot younger?

[Becky]

25, I think.

[Kayla]

How old is she?

[Becky]

I don't know.

[Kayla]

Let me look it up. She's 26.

[Becky]

Oh, so they're. They're the same age. I think he's 25, like, in the way he's. They're going about it is, like, really entertaining for someone that's like the outside, like, looking in and like, you're like,

[Kayla]

how did he meet him?

[Becky]

She's like, he's like an employee for Barstool. So he was at something for Barstool. And like, I think he brought up how, like, she's so attractive. And then they were like, well, why don't you just, like, talk to her? And he's like, I can't do that. I can't just talk to Brianna Chicken fry. Like, and then she, like, popped up in a video with him and like, it's this back and forth thing online now.

[Kayla]

I love that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Oh, I love that. She seems like a really cool. Cool, like. Like a real.

[Becky]

Like a real girl. Yeah. I messaged her once, like, years ago because she said something about she like, posted if someone's in the New York area and wants a tv. She was like, giving it away. And, like, I wanted it for some reason. I was like, moving. She didn't answer.

[Kayla]

Oh, okay. I mean, whatever. She. She was just talking about, like, her apartment rent went up to like $14,000 a month.

[Becky]

She bought a house in Florida.

[Kayla]

Yeah, but she said it's been empty for, like, months. Yeah, I mean, okay.

[Becky]

She travels a lot.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Becky]

Well, here we go for another. Well, before I get into Carmine chaos. Is it.

[Kayla]

Are we at the time already?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayla]

Oh, my God.

[Becky]

I do want to tell just this quick little story. I went to my friend's grand open. Well, there's two stories. I went to my friend's grand opening. That open thrive aesthetics. I got told to take a picture with someone, took the picture, had no clue who it was. And then all of a sudden, I see my picture with this woman posted on social media, and it's a. Like a senator or something, like a political person. And I saw this and literally instantly went to ChatGPT and said, Is I forget her name a Trumper because, like, I was terrified. Because you're, like, so nervous. Oh, my God, she's a Republican. And, like. Like, you just don't. There was nothing. There wasn't anything that popped up that was, like, super, like. Like, riding on Trump or whatever. But the. Our Carmen cast Facebook group, someone posted the picture and was like, becky, is this you and the cop? And I'm like, yeah, but, like, I don't know who that was. She just asked to take a picture with me. It was so funny, but I would not be laughing. It is. What.

[Kayla]

It. Why would it.

[Becky]

What?

[Kayla]

Imagine she was like, trump train.

[Becky]

Yeah, but, like, what. It's a picture.

[Kayla]

No, I know, but I'm just scared for you.

[Becky]

I'm not scared.

[Kayla]

Okay?

[Becky]

People. It's not like people are gonna think that I.

[Kayla]

They might.

[Becky]

No, but at the same party, this guy came up to me and said, you know, you look really familiar. And I said, just faces. And he goes, did you go to esu? I said, I did. I did. He was like, what year did you graduate? I was like, well, I graduated my undergrad 2012, my master's in 2014, so I was there for six years. And he was like, do you know who Dustin is? And I was like, yeah, I do. That was my boyfriend. And he goes, yeah, I thought you. He was like, I was. I was roommates with him my freshman year. I was like, yeah, I was in that room a lot. And, like, it made me laugh so hard because imagine someone knowing me from dating a man. You know that trend?

[Kayla]

The trend on TikTok? That's like, top five horror films.

[Becky]

Yeah, like, that's.

[Kayla]

That's it. People recognizing me from dating a man.

[Becky]

Like, that's what he recognized me from, was dating a man.

[Kayla]

Damn.

[Becky]

That's crazy. Crazy, right?

[Kayla]

You couldn't have gotten away with it if you wanted to.

[Becky]

No. That's wild. All right, let me find.

[Kayla]

Is it karma? Can I read this one? Since you read last week? I would find it.

[Becky]

I would love nothing more than for you to read it.

[Kayla]

In the middle of high school, there was this girl who I could not stand. We will call her Nikki. She would run her mouth about people, then lie about it. Always stirring the pot. Being an teen, I made fun of her and picked on her. I know bullying is awful. I recognize that. So many times I would try to fight her because she would spread lies and her brother would step in so he didn't get in trouble with his dad and not helping his sister. Fortunately for her, I liked her brother and respected his Wishes to not whoop her ass. Fast forward to adulthood. I married her brother and had two kids with him. She and I still didn't get along. She became pregnant at 17, bio dad unknown and had a little boy. I tried being friendly because because of the baby, but that didn't work out because she was on dope and lost her son to the state before he turned one. Her son was placed in a home with their cousin. Cousin raised Nikki's son until he was eight and sent him to us. He is now 17. Nikki passed away six years ago. Her son always had behavioral issues and it's gotten worse with age. We've tried therapy. He has seen psychologists, made sure he was medicated. Severe ADHD, etc, you name it, we've tried it. At 17, he's having unprotected sex. He told me this because he does not like the feel of condoms. He is smoking weed, drinking alcohol, sneaking out, suspended from school for vaping, very disrespectful. Has snuck a girl into my home while the rest of us were gone. Knowing that breaks the house rule. Etc. Anyways, I'm sure you get the crazy I'm trying to express. Is this karma for picking her, picking on her as children? I still stand by the fact that she started. Or is this just chaos?

[Becky]

What a sad situation.

[Kayla]

I think it's just.

[Becky]

I think it's just chaos. I don't think there's karma built into that. No kidding.

[Kayla]

Ugh, that's so sad.

[Becky]

Actually, that is so.

[Kayla]

Because it's like I up a lot in my life, but fortunately not to the point where so far my kids have done like really up. Like I'm raising some really good kids. So I can't say that like anything that I did up as a kid is karma. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, my karma should be my personal karma, not my karma in like, in a child, like through someone else's.

[Becky]

Her in pain.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I think that's just pure chaos. And I want to say that it's. That it's not your fault. Yeah, that's tough. I think you're actually in fact doing the Lord's work by raising someone else's child. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

So especially through like the difficulties like that.

[Kayla]

Yeah, that's a really tough situation. So I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry that you're going through that. I hope that he gets his together because life is entirely too short.

[Becky]

Life is too freaking short. Yeah.

[Kayla]

Yeah. So anyways, that's all we have this week for karma and chaos.

[Becky]

Thanks for being here.

[Kayla]

Yeah, go get tour tickets klow.com don't forget to rate and review on Spotify and Apple and we'll see you next week.

[Becky]

Love you guys.

[Kayla]

See ya.

[Becky]

Bye,

[Kayla]

Foreign. Guys, we're back. You asked for it. And we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on killlowry.com and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it for everyone else.

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[Kayla]

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[Becky]

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Hi there, it's Becca Tobin. I am currently the mother of a four year old, which means I have been through it. But I still have questions and maybe even a few answers. From surrogacy to toddler chaos, I have learned a lot and also not nearly enough. That's why I decided to launch Baby Gang, a six part series from the Lady Gang where I'm getting real about fertility, parenting and all the stuff nobody actually tells you. I'm bringing in some experts for the tough stuff and some other celeb moms and friends for parenting survival stuff. It's honest, it's messy, it's emotional, and yes, we are definitely laughing through it. Because whether you're in it thinking about it or just curious, we've got you. So join the Baby Gang wherever you get your podcasts.

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