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Becky
Hi, Zoe Saldana.
Kale
Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.
Becky
Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.
Kale
You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old Phone up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.
Becky
There's always a trade in. Not right now. At T Mobile. I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer.
Kale
It's lavender.
Becky
I'm good.
Kale
Seriously.
Becky
Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints. Really, I'm fine. Oh, I have raisins.
Kale
I'm a mom.
Becky
Wait, wait one sec.
Kale
I've got cupcakes in the car.
Becky
It's our best iPhone offer ever.
Kale
Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with.
Becky
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Kale
No trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up to 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line 100 plus a month on experience beyond Finance Agreement 999.99 and qualifying hoarded for well qualified, plus tax and $10 connection charge.
Becky
Payout via virtual prepaid card.
Kale
Allow 15 days credits end and balance due if you pay off early or.
Becky
Cancel CT mobile dot com. Good morning, good evening, good day, good night. Whenever you're listening to this podcast, I.
Kale
Hope that you guys are all having a fantastic time of day, whatever that looks like for y' all. If you're in Australia and it's tomorrow, this week has been so eventful. It's been. It's been quite the week. How are you? I'm.
Becky
I'm doing good. I just went to the gym, took a little shower.
Kale
That was my dog.
Becky
It sounded like someone's cheeks were getting clapped.
Kale
He was shaking his head.
Becky
And I put two and two together, but I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. When this comes out, I might have a baby by the time this comes out. Who knows?
Kale
I'm so excited because this. You are having a baby so soon, and you're like, I feel like a mom becomes a mom when they're. When they're pregnant. Right? A dad becomes a dad when the baby is born. And so there is a little bit of a difference. And so you're already a mom, basically, but, like, you're gonna be like a real life mom. Do you know what I mean?
Becky
Yeah, we. Leah was. We were Talking. We're going to. And this will come out after, but we're going to World Pride this weekend. And she looks at me and she was like, becky, we're gonna have to start doing some weird shit when we get back. And I was like, what? Like, what do you mean? She's like, this baby needs to come out. We need to start doing all the things, like, whatever that is to induce this labor. We are gonna start doing that. She asked me yesterday. She. She keeps thinking she's going into labor. And I. She's like. I was like, oh, I wonder if you're dilated. She's like, why don't you check? I was like, I have no clue what that means. Like, I wouldn't be able to tell.
Kale
I mean, she would. Why doesn't she check herself? I. I don't know, though. I always. I always. Most of the time. Not always. I usually refuse the check because it wasn't necessary. Like, yeah, you could be 5cm dilated for three weeks. Like, you don't. Yeah, like, you could. So dilated for weeks and weeks and weeks. And. And you can also go from, like, 0 to 10 very quickly if you're like my son, Lux Russell Lowry, who shot out like a bat out of hell. And so I don't know that it really matters. And it's a little. I don't know. I get. I get the excitement, though, because it's like your first. And, like, there's just so much excitement.
Becky
I said it to her yesterday. I said, because they're going to induce July 2nd. And I said, should we induce July 3rd? 3rd. So that we have a 4th of July baby. She goes, it could be the 4th, even if we do induce on the 2nd. So we don't know. Like, it's not like.
Kale
I'm pretty sure that at that point they would do a C section. If you induce on the second to the fourth. They would have. I don't think they'd let her go that way.
Becky
I've been on the inducing side of tick tock, and it seems like it takes. Like, it can take a long time to get to.
Kale
Yeah, I've. I've seen that. But I also know that your water can't be broken for more than 24 hours. Like, they have to do a C section if your water.
Becky
They don't break the water when they start the induction process. But who.
Kale
They're just going to let her be in labor and in pain for.
Becky
You don't go right into labor when they start to induce, at least from What I've seen on Tik Tok, I've.
Kale
Never been induced because I've always. I've always refused them. Yeah, but I think that when you're at the point that you're dilated and having contractions, that's like, late. Like, they're inducing you is starting your labor.
Becky
Yeah, but, like, it could be, like, 24 hours before it even starts to kick in.
Kale
That. See, that's what doesn't make sense to me about all of this. And if you watch the Business of Being Born, which I don't recommend, Leah watching that, I recommend you watching that separately is like, so you'll let a mom start labor essentially.
Becky
Like.
Kale
Like what we're talking about here is from the second to the fourth, and there's no dangers in that. Like, that's just. That sounds crazy. And then she's going to be exhausted to actually push and give birth.
Becky
Leah was saying that the. What, Leah, what were you saying? That the chances of stillbirth increases a lot after 40 weeks, and then it can, like, drastically increases after that.
Kale
Say that again. Hey, Leah.
Becky
Hi.
Kale
What was your question?
Becky
No, it was a statement.
Kale
Oh, what was the statement?
Becky
That still, like, the stillbirth increases at 40 weeks.
Kale
Yes.
Becky
A lot risk. The stillbirth risk increases.
Kale
Yeah, I knew that.
Becky
So, like, that's, like, why they induced. Also to help prevent that.
Kale
Everyone should be induced or offered induction 39 weeks. After 39 weeks, I've always said no.
Becky
Well, it worked out for you, didn't it?
Kale
Yeah, I just. Lincoln was, I think, the only one that was overdue. He. Overdue.
Becky
He.
Kale
Because it's all like, give or take two weeks.
Becky
Yeah.
Kale
So Lincoln's due date was 11, 12, 13. And I was like, it. He came 11, 16, 13. So four days over. Overdue.
Becky
Overdue. Have a good day at work.
Kale
Thank you. Bye, Leah. Have a great day. Thanks.
Becky
She's over it. She's gonna get this baby out of me.
Kale
I'm just. Whatever y' all decide, whatever any mom decides, I support it. I've had. I've had every single type of birth. I've had unmedicated, medicated, epidural, fentanyl, home birth, hospital birth, C section. I've had all of them. So I am for whatever the mom is for.
Becky
For the streets.
Kale
That's for the sheets and in the. For the streets and in the sheets.
Becky
Did I talk about chicken biscuits yet on here?
Kale
No.
Becky
So the other day, I woke up to a Snapchat from my friend Alcides, and it was him complaining that Natasha ate all his chicken and a biscuit and. And it was like, in a biscuit.
Kale
Crackers.
Becky
Yeah. And I've never heard of them before. So I was like, good. I said, al, why are you eating chicken at 5am? Like, what? Like, what are chicken and a biscuit? And I got home from the gym and he doordashed them here because he wanted me to try. They're so good. I don't know why he said they're bad.
Kale
I don't like them. I think they're so good. Those or Triscuit, I think, are so, like, such weird crackers. Like chicken and a biscuit and Triscuit. I don't like anything that is sort of like Wheaties and chicken and even.
Becky
A biscuit's not like Wheaties.
Kale
No, I'm talking about trisket. I'm talking about all the crackers I don't like. I don't like chicken in a biscuit and I don't like. What is chicken in a biscuit? What the is a biscuit? What is a biscuit? Do you mean basket? Do you mean brisket? Which one is it? Because you can't have both.
Becky
A biscuit is like a. Don't they call it like biscuits in the uk? Like cookies? Like a biscuit.
Kale
Oh, wait, like, you're not talking like a chicken mini from, like, chickfila.
Becky
Oh, it's just like a cracker. It's literally.
Kale
Why is it a biscuit? I thought a biscuit was, like, a roll. No, it's a cracking flavored cracker. It's a. It's a flavored cracker. But it's gross. Like, they're gross. Like a dog treat. It's not good. Alessandra, please don't eat them. I'm not Olive. Probably will.
Becky
Should have just kept these in the office.
Kale
I've never seen that in my entire life.
Becky
Chicken and a biscuit.
Kale
Nobody likes that. So does it taste like chicken? It tastes weird. It's weird. No, they're weird. No, they are.
Becky
It's literally just.
Kale
The seasoning is weird.
Becky
No, it's not. It's so good.
Kale
I'll have one when I come over.
Becky
For a fire next week. We should do it.
Kale
What's next week?
Becky
I'm gonna have Alessandro and Billy over.
Kale
You. You. Why am I not being invited to this shindig? I was gonna say, why don't you just come after the recording with me on Saturday? But you'll have your kids.
Becky
No.
Kale
Who, me? Yeah, I have. You know what? Let's talk about it. Really quick, because my entire life revolves around my children and my work. And when people ask me to do something, I will literally say, I have my kids that week. And as Alessandra just said, or you have your kids that week. Yeah, I literally have my kids, so.
Becky
Well, first of all, your kids are always welcome at my house.
Kale
Thank you.
Becky
I would never expect for you to come without them. Third of all, you're always welcome at my house. If you wanted to come hang out when me and Alessandra hang out.
Kale
No, because I don't want to be an afterthought when I get invited somewhere. I want to be the thought also.
Becky
It'S always going to be no. My feelings are always going to be hurt.
Kale
So I wasn't even. I was the afterthought.
Becky
She invited Billy first.
Kale
She said, I love Billy. Come over. Are you kidding me? First of all, I should have been like, hey, Alessandra, do you Kale and Billy last want to come over? That's how it should. That's the order. If you were Billy. No, it could have been Alessandra first. It could have been you. No, it's Billy. She said Billy maybe. No, because even alphabetically speaking, it should be Alessandra. Caleb. Oh, wait. Cyan laughs that way, too. You know, if we make him go by William. William. Willie. Sly Willie. Another Sly Willie. Never. I am dead. I'm dead. Never. A Sly Willie over here. I. Willie.
Becky
Well, I will let you know when Alessandra is going to come. It might be the kids might be out of school, so you might be able to come with the kids that you have. I would love. With pools open. I would love nothing more than to have my little children here. I'll. I'll let you know. Anyway, I need to get my flamethrower first before you guys come. I ordered it.
Kale
You're what?
Becky
A flamethrower thing to kill me image.
Kale
I want you to Google search that right now.
Becky
No, I got it. I got it from Amazon to kill the weeds like a torch.
Kale
Oh, interesting. I need that for the driveway. For all the grass that's growing through my driveway.
Becky
Yeah, you hook it up to the propane and then you. It does fire. So I can kill the weeds on the bricks by the pool and by the fire pit. Any response?
Kale
Yeah, I just said I need one for the garage for the driveway, which is worse.
Becky
By the way, I sent you a screenshot. Someone nicely told me what you need to do. Diesel. Yes, Yes, I did.
Kale
Show receipts. It didn't happen.
Becky
I sent you a screenshot of a message that one of the people that listened to Karma and chaos sent sent to me. She was explained how you get rid of the grass in on your driveway. It was really nice and a detailed message and said like what you need to be doing?
Kale
Is it pouring diesel on it?
Becky
A part of it was pouring diesel on it. Yeah, we text too much. How am I supposed to go back?
Kale
Search diesel. Search the word diesel. Oh wait. I guess if it's a screenshot that won't help.
Becky
Oh, okay. Found it. May 21st. Guess what? You never responded.
Kale
I was probably going through some shit. Was probably going through some trying times.
Becky
Well, you just told me to prove it and I just did prove it. Well, let me send it to you. Okay, Sent it.
Kale
Proof.
Becky
Sent.
Kale
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Becky
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Kale
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Kale
Audible.Com wonderyus that's audible.com wonderyus listening to the pod I know you're far more likely to see this than kale, so I'll send it here. My dad my dad has owned an asphalt paving company for my entire life. The trade is full of companies that travel from town to town over the years, ripping people off and never being seen again. They're typically far cheaper than local companies and talk a good talk. Always, always contact the Better Business Bureau to report on a company before hiring to do this. Well, I know now her driveway will for sure need to be replaced, but in the meantime, to stop grass from growing through, you can spray diesel fuel onto the pimples as she sees them coming or the whole driveway and it will at least kill the grass underneath. For a proper job they will need to rip it all out, including the grass, and put down clay, dirt, base, not gravel, and then overlay with at least two and a half inches of asphalt. Let me tell y' all something. I don't really love to talk about the money aspect of things, but that driveway out there cost me $18,000 originally 17,000 and then it was bumped to 18,000. So to hear somebody to read someone say that I will have to have that ripped out, which will cost me money and then potentially pay probably 20,000 or more the driveway again. So we're talking like $25,000 on top of the 17 thou. The 18,000 I've already paid.
Becky
Kind of your fault.
Kale
I was spiraling and, like, what do I do now?
Becky
Spray Diesel. That'll work. Ask you a question?
Kale
Sure. What's your question?
Becky
When you accidentally drop an ice cube out of the ice cube maker from a fridge, what do you do with it?
Kale
Put it in the sink.
Becky
I kick it under the fridge.
Kale
Diabolical.
Becky
That's always done that. Like, that's always what I've done. Leah wanted to do it the other day, and she was like, what are you doing? I was like, it's where the ice cubes go.
Kale
As if there's, like, a water. Great thing.
Becky
I. I didn't know that wasn't normal.
Kale
Yeah, maybe when you're like, 10. I could picture Lux and Lincoln doing that.
Becky
That's when habits start. I've just never grown out of it. If there's an ice cube or multiple, I'll just kick them right under. I probably have done it at your house.
Kale
Wait, that is truly. Like, we listen and we don't judge. That is one of those things. I'm shook right now because that's insane. Like, I literally put it in the sink to melt. In the sink?
Becky
Nope. Right under the fridge. Did you also know Leah and I were taking a walk yesterday and you.
Kale
Laid down in the driveway with your cats?
Becky
I did lay down in the driveway with the cats, but it wasn't that. It was. It was last night when we got back from. We went to dinner last night, and we went for a little walk to walk off the food because we ate too much and it was late, so it was like the sun was going down. The bats. We have so many bats. The bats were all out. And I was like, oh, like, throw a rock. And she was like, what are you talking about? I was like, you throw a rock in the air and the bats go after it. And she didn't know that either. And I said, watch. And I, like, tossed a rock in the air, and they all just, like, swoop, trying to. Trying to go after it.
Kale
Well, first of all, I also didn't know that that's also not normal behavior. That's not something that regular people do. So I think you might be a little bit weird. But secondly, PETA is going to come for your neck.
Becky
No, it doesn't hurt them. They think it's like a bum.
Kale
Yeah, but it's, like, teasing them. So PETA isn't gonna look.
Becky
I can't tease a bat.
Kale
No.
Becky
Did you know that bats can fly? To one to two hours without landing.
Kale
Could you. Next time, instead of it being a rock, could you. Do you think you could do, like, fruit or something so they could actually eat it?
Becky
I don't know if bats eat fruit, do they?
Kale
Some eat insects.
Becky
They eat insects. That's. Bats are good. They eat mosquitoes. That's why.
Kale
So good to know growing up, because I would night swim at my mom's house and the bats would just swoop.
Becky
Down and swirl around because they're eating the mosquitoes.
Kale
Terrifying. I am not gonna lie to y' all. I am fascinated by bats for some reason. Like, I just think they're so cool. But when I was 10 years old, I lied to my friends and told them that I had a pet bat in the attic because my mom lived in this apartment. Hold on. Had a bat in her attic. 1225 West street was the apartment that I lived in and that we lived on the top floor. So it was like an apartment that was two apartment. Like two apartments here. And then my mom had the top floor. And we only lived there for like a year and a half or two years. Right. But with that, there was, like a little access to the attic. And it had real stairs. It wasn't like a pull down. So, like, I never went in there. But, like, I would, like, I guess, daydream. I don't know, like, what? Like, fantasize. I don't know, like, about going up in the attic. But, like, I never would actually go up there because it was, like, a scary place to go. So I, like, made up this, like, bat pet that was up there.
Becky
What was its name?
Kale
It didn't. I don't know if it had one or not, but it was a bat. I had a bat. Like, imaginary friend, but it was like an imaginary bat. You know what I mean?
Becky
Not the weirdest thing, really. Yeah.
Kale
Back at, like, that lie, that, like, imaginary situation. And I'm like, why would I ever say that? Like, why did I ever think that I had, like, a pet bat?
Becky
I mean, your childhood wasn't really all rainbows and butterflies, you know?
Kale
Yeah. If I. Yeah.
Becky
It was probably just a part of, like, your brain trying to protect you from trauma.
Kale
Your mom hasn't been home for three days. Go see your pet. Bad. Upstairs in the attic or. Yeah, that's exactly how it went.
Becky
You needed some kind of friend.
Kale
Yeah. Maybe we'll go. We'll go with that. I don't know if I ever told my mom about the pet bat that I pretended to have.
Becky
But, I mean, did you tell your mom about a lot of things.
Kale
Absolutely not. I also stuffed my cat in this tote bag and I was running away. I like, went outside and it was this pink mesh tote bag. It was mesh. So, like, it was sort of like a cat carrying case. Basically, in my head, I justified it as that and I was running away from home. My mom wasn't home that day. It was broad daylight and I put sergeant Pepper in the pink tote bag and I went outside. And then he didn't want to be in the bag, so he ran away. And then I was crying because I couldn't find him. He eventually came back, but that was a sad day for me.
Becky
Where did the name sergeant Pepper come from?
Kale
No clue. I got my mom brought home the cat, the kitten. He was a kitten when I was like two. So I don't. I have no idea. No clue. Little Sargy.
Becky
I do agree, though, that probably best case, chug, chug. Best case scenario is a mesh bag because it's breathable for a cat.
Kale
But I thought he could understand me and was gonna, like, understand running away and like, be like a. A bad cat. You know what I mean? But he wasn't having it.
Becky
What the. Alessandra.
Kale
Alessandra. I hope. Oh, can you see? Those fucking bats are from Australia. They are people in costumes. There's no fucking. No, I swear in my life those are real bats. Because I will never shock. I will never forget the article that someone sent me like, 12 years ago that said crazy animals in Australia and everyone thought I was going to be scared of the spiders. No. These bitches have haunted my nightmares ever since I've seen it. Those are real. The way that I researched it. Those are fudgeing real. I'm going to Google what the symbolism sim bulism of bats. Nope, not bags. Like, is that a vampire? I'm so upset about it. Oh, I actually love this. This is very much like snakes and spiders. Because if you look up the symbolism of, like, all the scary things, they actually have way better meanings and, like, symbolism. This says, despite being misunderstood for their associations with death, darkness, and fear, bats symbolize transformation, rebirth, and the release of fear that stifles growth.
Becky
Should we get a bat tattoo?
Kale
Yes. Bats symbolize good fortune. In Chinese culture, the symbolism of bats is finding your way through the dark. I am getting a bat tattoo immediately. Like, immediately. I'm getting.
Becky
I'll get one.
Kale
We're getting one and we're getting bats. We're gonna get pet bats and they're gonna live on our Skin. I'm not gonna get our pet bats.
Becky
Pet bat.
Kale
But it's on your leg. On our. Where are you getting yours?
Becky
I don't know. I haven't thought that far.
Kale
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna get one on my leg. Are you gonna spread the wings or are they gonna be wrapped up?
Becky
I don't know. I gotta think about it.
Kale
All the scary things. Like I'm. The scary things.
Becky
I could. I could get diggity down with it.
Kale
All right, we're getting bats. We're getting bats. I also have to get a turtle because the girls in my book club are turtles. And for the past, like six to eight weeks, I've been seeing so many turtles, like, crossing the road. I keep seeing them crossing the road. And I got out to get one, like, to like, scoot it to the side and. And they also have really big symp. Hold on. I'm going to, like, look up what the symbol of symbolism.
Becky
We're just learning so much today.
Kale
Well, it's important for my book club, but also the fact that I've been seeing so many of them across many cultures. Turtles symbolize longevity, wisdom and protection. Their slow nature and adaptability represent wisdom, encouraging patience and resilience. Their shells symbolize protection and pierce, perseverance.
Becky
You know what all this makes me think of? Let's go back to episodes of karma and Cas when I just talked about people not having glasses and eating mushrooms by accident. When like all these symbolisms are just, like, made up, you know, just. It's just a feel good story.
Kale
Yeah, but they. It came from somewhere. Like people. When I think of mushrooms, native people coming up with what they symbolize, there's a reason why they. Maybe something happened and a turtle was crossing the road. Maybe something was present during a trying or challenging time, during people in the caveman era. You know what I mean? Like, do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. Do you know what I'm trying to say? So they originate from somewhere stories. But, like, I could see, like, it's the same way that, like when I see a cardinal, I think of my grandparents, because my grandparents like to watch birds. And there was always cardinals and blue jays. And so it's like, that's a feel good bird. And I associate my parents with my grandparents with being good people. And so the bird symbolizes this for me. And that's how it continues. Do you know what I'm saying?
Becky
Symbolism? Yeah.
Kale
What is it, folklore or is that like myth?
Becky
I don't really know what Folklore means I don't know.
Kale
All I know is I got a dream catcher.
Becky
I thought of folklore as like a story.
Kale
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Becky
Folklore means the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community passed through the generations by word of mouth. So, yeah, I was right. It's like, stories like, you know, folklore, traditional beliefs and customs.
Kale
Oh. So I was right.
Becky
We were both right.
Kale
We were both right.
Becky
Yeah. Speaking of both being right, we went to Pride together last weekend.
Kale
We did. And I was so excited because that was obviously Elliot's first pride, and I. It brought me back because that was. That location was my first Pride.
Becky
It was.
Kale
So.
Becky
Yeah.
Kale
Many moons ago, nine years ago, we.
Becky
Went there together with an infamous kiss.
Kale
I think it was eight years. Eight years ago.
Becky
It was nine years ago.
Kale
Really?
Becky
Yeah. Because it was. Leah and I were born. It was 2016. It was. Because that's the year Lee and I started dating. So it was, like, shortly after we started dating from there.
Kale
Okay. I'm tracking because Lux is about to be eight, and I know it was before I got pregnant with him, and a pregnancy takes nine. Yeah. So, yeah, you're probably right. Nine years. And that's crazy.
Becky
Piper and Elliot got to see each other for the first time in a really long time. And they were really cute.
Kale
Yeah.
Becky
I think they exchanged Snapchats.
Kale
That's cool. They're, like, the same age. And I know that they don't remember being around each other when they were, like, basically toddlers, but it was cool to see that. And just also, I think Elliot was like, there's so many gays. He's like. Or he said, I didn't realize how gay New Jersey was. And I'm like, it's just nice to, like, be surrounded with people who support you and are, you know, part of this community and uplift everyone. And I really wanted him to see that because there's. I'm not saying that Delaware is not queer at all, but.
Becky
Take him to Rehoboth.
Kale
Yeah. No, I'm just saying, like, you don't really see it as much here as maybe in other places like New Jersey or Philadelphia. Like, just there's No, I don't feel that. There's, like, a sense of community here.
Becky
Yeah, I mean, it's. And it's subjective to different parts, too.
Kale
Yeah, for sure.
Becky
But it was. So we were, like, walking down the street, and I kept saying, happy pride to, like, people walking everybody. And he looked at me, and he goes, you know, you're just so you.
Kale
What does that even mean? Like, just gay?
Becky
No, just like. He's like, yeah, like, you're just so you.
Kale
You're just so you.
Becky
It was fun, though. It was fun to beat bop around town. You missed the parade. The parade was awesome. Next year, you have to make it to the parade.
Kale
I was hoping that we were gonna be done in time to go to the parade, but we ended up recording two full episodes, you know, talking about his story and just, like. Just his journey. Huh?
Becky
His journey?
Kale
Yeah, Elliot's journey. And it ended up taking longer than we thought. And then. So we did miss the parade, but we got to go to everything else. And so I wanted the first week of June and really all of June for Elliot to be able to embrace his side, his story, his journey, his truth, his. And really kind of fully immerse himself into Pride Month because he deserves that.
Becky
Preach. I love that kid so much.
Kale
I know. And he loves you too. I'll just give y' all a little. Little update. This is not the full update. I got my pernuvo full body scan results back, and there is a. I think it's called an ishmia or a ish. Something. Hold on. I'll tell you. How do you pronounce? Yeah. Ishemia.
Becky
Ish.
Kale
A small vessel. Ishimia. Whatever that is called. Whatever. However you pronounce it. There is one of those in my brain. Actually, there's two of them. And so that can affect memory. And so I just want to say that that's probably the problem.
Becky
And just to let everyone know, I do. I do want to talk about this a little bit, because it pisses me off every year that this happens. It pisses me off. Everyone comes out. Everyone comes out of the woodworks, and they say, why do gay people get a month about them? Why do veterans only get a day? Let me just. Let me just lay the land. First of all, Military Appreciation Appreciation Month is the month of May. Military and Family Appreciation Month is the month of November. Just because y' all don't celebrate it for the month doesn't mean it's not there. Okay?
Kale
So basically, we are doing it ourselves. Like, we're. We're not acknowledging the entire month. And the gays are entire. Acknowledging the entire month.
Becky
Yeah. The gays take the entire month that is dedicated to them and celebrate it all month. There are, like, May is Military Appreciation. November's, like, Veteran and, like, Family Appreciation Month. So, like, you have. And I'm not like, it's just frustrating when people are like, why do gay people get a month? And why does it. Blah, blah. Like, there is months dedicated to. Which there should be. I'm not trying to take that away. It's just. Just because you guys don't set up parades and set up, like, things for it shouldn't discredit the efforts that are put into celebrating Pride. And we deserve it.
Kale
This is. I'm 33 years old.
Becky
Yeah.
Kale
And I did not know there was months dedicated to. I thought they were Veterans Day, Memorial Day. I had no idea that there was anything for, like, months. But to your point, people have to do something about it. Yeah. I didn't even know they existed. I'm like, that's the point.
Becky
Pride originated as a riot. If you guys don't know. It was at the Stonewall Inn, the infamous Stonewall Inn in New York. It started out, it was actually led by, like, trans, black, trans women. That's a lot like Marsha P. Johnson. They all fought for our rights to just be alive. We've been fighting for our rights to exist ever since. But Pride was. Wasn't always something that was created for parades and happiness and just love around literally started, like, as riots and people burning down buildings and just wanting to stop being targeted and killed and not allowed to exist in the same world as other people just because other people can't understand something that they don't live in.
Kale
So thank you for saying all that. I think that that's really important for you to share. And hopefully people will start putting together some stuff for military support if that's what they want.
Becky
Yeah. I just think, you know, and it's always frustrating because there's also, like, why don't straight people get a month? And it's, you know, you've never, like, being a minority and being in a underrepresented community. There was never rights that you had to fight for. There was never rights that you had to try to win or to prove that you deserve them. And, like, there's just such a difference in that. Like, we're gay. People just got. It just was a federal law legally in 2013 that allowed our right to marriage. And so, like, this isn't new where it's like, we're still fighting the battle of it. And like, right now, obviously get, like, gay marriage is on the chopping block, you know, being put back to. Potentially put back to the States. And it's just really disappointing that so much time and effort in this world and in this country specifically is being put into dismantling the like, progress, ability to live in progress of like, all that was fought for and all that. Like, all for people just to love who they want to love. Right? Like, you're so mad that I wanted to marry a woman instead of a man and like, like the world is in up anyway.
Kale
Well, just to piggyback off of that, I don't understand why that upsets anyone. Like, I truly, I don't understand it. If that upsets you, I hope divorce upsets you with heterosexual couples. I hope that misogyny upsets you within heterosexual couples. I hope that all of the, these other things upset you just as much. Because to be more upset that a woman loves another woman or a man loves a man is truly the least of anyone's concerns. And it's just so baffling to me. And I, I want, I do wonder, like on a regular basis, not just in June, Like, I wonder on a regular basis how people end up with these thoughts. Like, sort of like, I don't know if what I'm about to say is going to make sense. Like, generational trauma, generational cycles, generational, all of these things. Like, how does that actually happen? Because there are so, there are people who, who do break generational things, whether it be trauma or curses or whatever. Like, how does that happen? And why are some broken and others are not?
Becky
It's because it's a lot of internalized homophobia that happens that creates this hate, right? So, like, obviously a lot of our laws and, and things and, and even like kids being raised are raised by men, like straight men. And so a lot of what it is. I mean, you, I don't know if you know this or not, but during the rnc, the Republican National Convention, we hold like a DNC RNC before every election, right? So it just happened last year, the rnc, the usage of Grindr, like, it shut down the website or the, the dating app, like it was insane. Like the spike in usage in where the RNC was. You know what Grindr is, right?
Kale
Yes.
Becky
So, like, all of these people who hate gay people are just gay. That's what I have to say.
Kale
All right, let's talk about bras, because you guys know I've been in the trenches with bras. I want to push up bra. But then I. They were uncomfortable and I thought truly that my push up bra days were behind me. But then I saw Skims ultimate bra all over my feet and I needed to try it out. I love the way it makes my boobs look. Now that I have, it looks like I got a brand new boob job. Obviously, the shape of my boobs has changed over the years. I did just get a breast reduction and so this just changed the game for me. I've been reaching for the Skims ultimate teardrop push up bra because it has my boobs in a chokehold. Not literally. The technology is insane. It lifts me up and my mood truly is lifted. As soon as I put it on. I feel like a hot mom. Okay. And I know Becky's gonna feel the same way once Baby Bex gets here. You guys can shop the Skims ultimate bra collection and more@skims.com but after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and just be sure to click on Karma and chaos in the drop down menu that follows. The point that I was trying to make is the people who are coming from families who are very homophobic or racist or whatever it is that they are, and they, they're then born and decide that is not how they are. They're, you know, accepting and for equality, inclusion, inclusivity, you know, not discriminating. How does that happen?
Becky
Oh, easy, because I guess education and life experience. Right. The issue is, is that a lot of people that are raised in an environment that are like that don't often leave that environment so they're not exposed to other people or other kinds of like.
Kale
Let me stop you right there. I think that's what happened to me. Not that my family was homophobic or racist, but I think that it was sort of like implicit. And so with time, experience and education and being removed from that environment, I was able to. Because a lot of people have brought up things I've done in the past or things that I've said, not things that I've done. A lot of people have said. Well, Kayl, you did. You said this in the past. Yeah, because not making an excuse for it, but that's where I came from. So until I was removed from that and with experience and time and education and being around all walks of life and really having begun to be able to think for myself, I was able to open my eyeballs. But I think that so many times that there are still people who come from those types of families that are all, like, the negative things, and they still sort of fight against it. I just wondered how that happens, because it's. But I will never understand all of human psychology. I feel we all, as Americans, because of our society, have implicit bias. Like, that's just how it goes. It's how our society has been structured. So we all have to do the work to dismantle it. Like, but then inherent the people who do the work. And I'm not saying that I'm fully healed from all of that, but I do feel like I have been doing the work. It's still not enough. And then there are people who have not started the work at all.
Becky
If we expect people to change and grow, we have to allow grace and actions and things that were said and things that were done historically in their life. And I'm not saying, like, you, like, like, this doesn't account to someone being a murderer or rapist or things of those sorts. Like, if I said something racist 10 years ago, like, and I've grown and done work to get out of that, I shouldn't be held to a place of, like, yes, I should be held to responsibility of what I said and did, but I shouldn't be held to a place of thinking. That's who I still am. And I say that to say, I, until I was 19 years old, didn't believe in gay marriage. So, like, like what? Yeah, like, I, I. It was purely based off, like, religion and, like, religious aspects. Like, I thought that, like, gay marriage. And it stems from internal, like, I'm inherently racist and inherently homophobic because of the place that I was raised in, right? Like, I was around racist and homophobes my entire life and entire upbringing. So, like, I've had to do so much work to. To grow out of those thoughts. Like, those thoughts that just, like, automatically come to my mind. And so being gay, there was a lot of internalized homophobia that came through that process. And in my mind, growing up religious, I believed that, like, marriage was a religious ceremony and, like, that is what a man and a woman get to do inside of a church. Like, that is what my mindset was. And then I traveled the world and I became a. I don't want to say atheist, agnostic. I would say just because I learned about so many religions, it was really hard for me to even, like, understand how can someone choose one? But then I thought about how there's so much homophobia behind it because people say, oh, like, a marriage is Between a man and a woman. That. And that's their. That's the bottom line. So you could have a man and a woman who are both. Don't believe in God, don't believe in anything, and you believe that they can get married, but, like, two, say, religious, queer people couldn't.
Kale
So that's where this is so interesting to me and. And multifaceted, if you will, because people. I'm shocked by this. I didn't know that. That's how, like, I. Yeah. Have known you for almost a decade. And I actually. More than a decade, because Lincoln was born. I already knew you, and. Oh, yeah. And he's about to be 12, so I'm shocked by this. I don't think differently of you. I actually think it's cool because I think there's a lot to be said. And I wonder how many people have gone through the same thing and recognize their own growth and their own implicit bias. Because I think also this comes from you. You realize it once you're already out of it. You didn't know you had these implicit biases or these inherent feelings, thoughts, whatever, while you were going through it. Do you know what I'm saying? Up until you were 19, you thought that was normal. You didn't think there was anything wrong with the way that you thought or felt until you were on the other side.
Becky
Yeah. 100. A lot of people in the queer community go through, like, a lot of difficulties of growth because of, like, just all the internalized homophobia that they deal with. And that's why there's always a lot of struggles. Like, I hated gay people. I think, like, I hated being questioned if I was gay or not. It was, like, the worst possible thing that could have happened to me. So when people would, like, accuse me of being gay before I came out, I'd be like, what the. I have a little bit of a touchy subject.
Kale
Am I gonna cry?
Becky
No.
Kale
Okay, let's talk about it. I just can't take any more tears at this poll.
Becky
It has nothing to do with you.
Kale
I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with me to make me cry.
Becky
Yeah. No, no, no, no. It won't make you cry. I know that we've. We've talked about religion quite a bit on here, and I don't want people to think that I'm some, like, antichrist. I. I value those that do religion properly. To each their own. Not for us, but anyway, is there a protocol about, like, I really don't. Like, when people give me cards and, like, Tell me, like, God bless. Like, may God bless you. Like, praying, like, all those things. It, like, makes me uncomfortable. Someone gave us a prayer book for Bex. And like, it was really triggering for us because, like, what the.
Kale
Like, I also. I was given a Bible recently, so I understand and I will read it just to see what exactly that section is about. But I will say that it does make me a little bit uncomfortable because it would be offensive if you gave that person who gave you a prayer book for you to make comments or give cards that were insinuating Antichrist or very unholy. Right. Like, it would be considered offensive for you to do that to them. So why is it not offensive for you to receive? Like. Like, you guys don't have that type of relationship, so why are you doing that? And why would one assume gave creed? And I think Lux prayer storybooks, like, please do not give my child a story. A child's Bible. Like, you have lost your mind.
Becky
Yeah, it just. It doesn't settle right with me. And I'm curious if people who are listening that are religious, like, like, think about who. Who it is they're giving things to or that's just like a part of who they are. And so they're always going to be like that. I. And I think there's. It matters also who it's coming from. Like, the situation of who these came from makes it even worse. So, like, I don't know, it just, like, didn't like, sit right, like, well with us. Leah, like, cried about it, honestly, because she, like, felt like it was super disrespectful to us, like, especially as, like, a queer couple. Yeah.
Kale
So I think that your feelings are valid. And I think that even if you were not a queer couple, like, I'm offended for you and I'm offended, Like, not offended. I'm upset for you. I was upset when it was given to my kids. And I am mostly heterosexual. So I say that to say that if you are religious, I think that you can be friends with people who are not religious. And. And at the moment point. And. And if your religion says to love thy neighbor or whatever, and you're going to treat them like family, they're gonna be in your life. You don't have to offer things that you would not accept if the tables were turned.
Becky
And then it's like, imagine me giving an anti. Like, like you said, an antichrist like.
Kale
Book or like, or like a gay pride gift to a very religious family.
Becky
Like, like a homophobic person.
Kale
Yeah. Like, it's Just one of the. And like. Like, here's the thing. Like, you can't walk on eggshells to, like, monitor how other people are going to react. But I just feel like something like that does feel intentional, and it feels. What is the word? Malicious? Sort of like, that's not the word I'm looking for, but you get what I'm saying. Like, it feels like it was done with intention. And it's like, for what? Like, I. Why? What made you think that this was okay?
Becky
I don't know. And it, like, I always go just back to just, like, the foundation of religion in general, too. I saw a tik tok tik tok on this the other day, and it's so fascinating to me that, like, most people that are, like, active, practicing Christians, they've never read the Bible. They just, like, act upon what is being told to them throughout church.
Kale
And that's a big problem to me.
Becky
Yeah. And it's like, like, have you, like, read the Bible front to back and. And then come back to me. There's, like, some statistics around. People who read the Bible front to back end up being, like, atheists, which.
Kale
Is so interesting to me because. Or like, people that have a PhD in religion, they're like, wait a minute.
Becky
Fascinating. Anyway, I love you guys. I love it. Again, I don't want people to think that, like, I'm Antichrist, but I just. I've been in situations where religion has been the root cause of, like, wanting my existence to be wiped from the world. So, like, it's really hard. And there's millions of queer people who are also religion. It's not one or the other. My lack of religion came from traveling the world and meeting people in different religions. I grew up Greek Orthodox. Never had a problem with it, but.
Kale
So I appreciate you bringing it up. I appreciate the awareness you bring to karma and chaos Podcast. It feels like breaking the rules, but it's totally legal. And better for you than that third cocktail. Okay, you've tried melatonin, you've tried asmr, You've tried breathing apps, adult coloring books, and that one overpriced face mask that just made things darker and sadder. But have you tried catching a buzz that doesn't end with a hangover and a $42 bar tab? You work hard, maybe you deal with life sometimes, but you still deserve an escape. I would agree. And that's where in the cloud comes in. These are gummies, flowers, pre rolls, all federally legal. Seriously fun and just a few clicks away. Whether you're chasing better sleep, deeper intimacy, or just solid daytime relief. This is the grown up cloud chasing done right. I know people who have tried their gummies on a random Thursday and the next thing I know they're down rabbit holes vibing out. And honestly, I'm sure they slept so much better than they have in weeks. There's no hangover, no sketchy ingredients, just good energy and a solid buzz. And I can't get behind that enough. It sounds like a loophole, right? But it's not. It's science. It's policy. And in the Cloud is using it to deliver one of the oldest medicines known to man in the most modern, fun and absolutely dialed in way possible. Over 50,000 people are already choosing Into Cloud because feeling good should be Easy if you're 21 or older. Now's your chance to float above the stress because in the Cloud is giving all new customers 25 off their first order plus free shipping. Just use code Karma or click the link in the show notes to claim your discount. That's indecloud.co I n d a c l o u d.co use code karma for free shipping plus 25 off your first order order. Now fill out their quick survey to support the show and enjoy the best part of your week. Week brought to you by Into Cloud. Let's do Is it karma or Is It Chaos? On today's episode, my girls got loud about my marriage, then got dumped. So here's my story and I need to know, is this karma or is it chaos? A little while back, my husband and I separated. Like most couples, we hit a rough patch. And during that time, I confided in my girls naturally, like we all do. I shared more of a I shared more of the bad than good. So of course, they weren't exactly waving team hubby flags. Fast forward. My husband and I start talking again. Quietly, privately, just seeing if maybe we could fix things. Well, one night my girls were over at my place. I fell asleep and they decided to go full FBI on my iPad. First of all, let me stop y' all right there. The point that you go through your friend like your girl friends, you're psychotic. Like you are psychotic. You're psychotic right there. So she falls asleep, they go through my iPad, they went through my messages and found our entire conversation about possibly getting back together. The next day, they came back to my house uninvited, might I add, and straight up yelled at me. Not hey girl, we're concerned. No, like full on in my face angry mom mode, yelling, telling Me, I was making a terrible mistake. And then I was being stupid and they refused to support it. But I didn't let their noise drown my peace. I chose me. I chose my healing. I chose to give my marriage another chance. With therapy, with boundaries, with communication. And let me tell you, it's been working. We're doing better than we have in years. Now here's the kicker. Every single one of those girls has been dumped in the past month. And guess who they're all calling for advice and comfort? Me. The same one that they tried to tear down for doing what was right for my life. So tell me, is this Karma serving hot tea or is this just pure chaos? I'll let you. No, that's 1,000%.
Becky
A thousand percent karma. You know, I've never gone through my friends phones in my. I've gone through two people's phones in my entire life. Regretted it after each time. And there were significant others, they weren't friends.
Kale
I don't. Here's the thing about that is like I know that everyone talks, myself included. And I don't care if you text Alessandra and say kills being a Today. I don't give a. I truly do not care what you think. If you text Alessandra and. And you say like Kale looks so ugly, her hair is disgusting. I don't know why she's acting like this. Again, I don't care.
Becky
Is that something that I would say.
Kale
Maybe that being a kind her hair.
Becky
Looks bad and blah, blah, blah. I might say you're acting like a Today, but not. I don't even know if I. Maybe I would say to their face, I don't know about in a text but.
Kale
But whatever. My point is that I don't care.
Becky
My also point is we need to talk about this. Okay. To be a good friend is to give your thoughts and feelings, but love them anyway. I will say this until I'm blue in the face. I don't agree with most of Kale's dating choices.
Kale
I will general.
Becky
Just like in our entire friendship, I've never really agreed with.
Kale
And you said that to my face.
Becky
Yeah. And I'll always give her my concerns of her dating choices. I'll always. But like I'm not, not going to be friends with her or give her like an ultimatum because like at the end of the day we do crazy things for people that we love or infatuated with or relationships. That's just, just how life works. I have plenty of friends in my, in my circle who I don't like who they're dating but I'm not not going to be friends with them unless there's like some like malicious like but even I don't even know like I still want to be able to show up and care for my friend and be a safe place for them. I don't want them to think that they can't come to me to about their partner to about like whatever it is. Like, like I am going as long as I'm being true to myself and giving my concern of of the matter, that's all I can do. I don't want people to think otherwise. And like those friends showing up yelling at that's not gonna do anything them be a good friend, show your concerns but support them through the ups and downs of whatever they're going through. That's all I gotta say.
Kale
Some would say you're an enabler if.
Becky
If people listening if, if they're listening and they think that I don't speak my mind and like just am a yes. Know me well.
Kale
I believe that this situation is karma. Don't call me for comfort when you just screamed in my face about me getting back with my husband.
Becky
True. Valid.
Kale
That's how I feel. And on that note, where can people find for the haters and where can.
Becky
People find you on social hater25 for the haters, there's a. This is already going to come out after it, but next week's episode is really close to my heart. It's really good. It's about grieving someone that's alive. So if you haven't listened to that, go back and listen. It's really good. Hater25 on all social medias. Come check out my mini vlogs because I'm a vlogger now and then. For the haters as well.
Kale
Love that. You can subscribe on Spotify and Apple or wherever you get your podcast to. For the haters. And that is Becky's solo podcast that is interview based and there are real people with real stories and so definitely check them out. Thank you, Alessandro for all your commentary. We love you. We'll see you next week.
Becky
We love you. Hi, I'm Adam Rippon and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that there might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I Unclear, but if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcast us.
Kale
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Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Episode: Chicken Biscuit Energy
Release Date: June 17, 2025
Podcast: PodcastOne
Timestamp: 01:18 - 06:56
Becky Hayter shares exciting news about a potential new addition to her family, expressing uncertainty about whether to expect a baby by the episode's release. Kail Lowry engages thoughtfully, discussing the nuances of motherhood and fatherhood, highlighting that Becky's transition into motherhood begins during pregnancy, while fatherhood officially starts with the baby's birth.
Notable Quote:
The conversation deepens as they delve into the induction process, sharing personal experiences and misconceptions about labor induction. Becky references TikTok trends surrounding induction, while Kail emphasizes informed decisions and supports all maternal choices, drawing from her diverse childbirth experiences.
Timestamp: 07:02 - 11:58
The hosts pivot to a light-hearted discussion about a Snapchat incident involving Becky’s friend Alcides and his newfound love for "chicken and a biscuit" crackers. Becky enthusiastically praises the snack, prompting Kail to express skepticism and confusion over the product’s description.
Notable Quote:
Despite Kail’s initial resistance, Becky remains a staunch supporter, leading to playful banter about hosting gatherings featuring the trendy snacks. Their camaraderie shines as they navigate differing tastes and preferences, showcasing the essence of their enduring friendship.
Timestamp: 21:03 - 32:33
Becky and Kail delve into deeper personal territories, discussing childhood memories and the symbolism behind animals like bats and turtles. Kail recounts childhood stories involving imaginary pets and her fascination with bats, leading to a broader conversation about cultural and personal symbolism.
Notable Quote:
Kail shares her journey of self-discovery and overcoming implicit biases, while Becky opens up about her experiences with internalized homophobia and the impact of religion on her personal beliefs. Their honest and raw discussions highlight the challenges of personal growth and the importance of education and diverse experiences in overcoming ingrained prejudices.
Timestamp: 32:33 - 44:10
The conversation shifts to Pride Month, where Becky passionately defends the significance of dedicating an entire month to LGBTQ+ celebrations. They compare it to other appreciation months, emphasizing the historical struggles and ongoing battles for equality and acceptance within the community.
Notable Quote:
Becky highlights the origins of Pride as a movement for survival and rights, countering criticisms against dedicating a month to LGBTQ+ communities by paralleling it with military appreciation months. Kail echoes her sentiments, reflecting on personal experiences and the necessity of continued advocacy and support for underrepresented groups.
Timestamp: 54:16 - 60:45
In a heartfelt exchange, Becky recounts a recent conflict where her friends intervened in her marital issues by going through her messages and expressing strong disapproval. Despite the confrontation, Becky emphasizes the importance of choosing personal healing over external criticism. Kail supports Becky’s decision, expressing her own experiences with friendship dynamics and the complexities of supporting friends through personal challenges.
Notable Quote:
The discussion underscores the delicate balance between honest feedback and unconditional support in friendships. Becky advocates for maintaining open communication and supporting friends despite disagreements, while Kail reflects on the concept of karma, suggesting that actions reflect back on individuals in unexpected ways.
Timestamp: 60:45 - End
The episode culminates with Becky sharing a personal story about overcoming marital challenges and the subsequent relational shifts within her friend group. She poses a rhetorical question about whether these events are acts of karma or mere chaos, inviting listeners to reflect on the interconnectedness of their actions and the unpredictable nature of life.
Notable Quote:
Their closing remarks encapsulate the episode's central theme: the interplay between fate, personal actions, and the unpredictable events that shape our lives. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, Kail and Becky offer listeners a blend of humor, honesty, and heartfelt insights into modern adulthood's joys and challenges.
Whether you're navigating the challenges of raising a family, maintaining meaningful friendships, or simply trying to stay true to yourself amidst life's chaos, "Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter" offers a refreshing and insightful perspective on modern adulthood.