Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: ENCORE: The DDC (Dead Dads Club)

Release Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode Overview

This episode marks a heartfelt and candid return as Kail and Becky rekindle not only their friendship but introduce the new direction of their podcast, "Karma & Chaos." With a focus on honest conversations around loss, friendship, family, personal growth, and modern adulthood, they share memories, discuss grief, rekindling relationships, and set the tone for the evolving themes of the show. Both are unfiltered and vulnerable as they swap stories and philosophical takes on karma, chaos, and the messiness of being human in your 30s.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rekindling Their Friendship & Life Updates

[03:30–06:40]

• Becky shares how her father’s passing was the catalyst for reconciling with Kail after a five-year fallout.
• The reconnection was facilitated through mutual friends and social media, leading to an honest conversation and a “fresh start.”
• Becky’s update: married to Leah ("an angel," ER PA), living her best life, deepening self-awareness and appreciation for friendship’s evolution.
• Both express excitement about being “the best versions of themselves” now.
• Kail, broadcasting from Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge, reminisces about past adventures with Becky and highlights how much they've changed.

Quote:

"We are able to give our best versions of ourselves to each other, when a lot of the time in the past it was kind of our worst versions of ourselves." — Becky, [05:22]

2. Owning Up to the Past, Transparency & Healing

[06:40–10:47]

• Kail describes reaching out to Becky with empathy and nervousness, unsure what was appropriate after their fallout.
• Becky admits she’d “talked her shit” about Kail to others and wanted to clear the air up-front.
• Both discuss the importance of self-reflection, growth, and honesty in mending broken bonds.
• The fallout was attributed to being “bad versions” of themselves, not malice.

Quote:

"There was never a time that I didn’t think about you... the way that we fell out was not anybody’s fault." — Kail, [07:26]

Quote:

"Yeah, I was like, I talked my shit. And I don’t want that to come back and haunt me." — Becky, [10:47]

3. On Rekindling Friendships & Growth

[12:40–14:02]

• Both hope their reconciliation can inspire others to reach out to lost friends and embrace healing, even if there are no expectations.
• Emphasis on allowing others and oneself to grow and reconnect without pressure.

Quote:

"...maybe just an awakening for everybody who wants to rekindle a friendship with someone. Like it is possible." — Kail, [12:49]

4. Addressing Public Perceptions & Relationship Boundaries

[14:02–18:33]

• Addressing rumors and parasocial speculation about their chemistry and respective partners.
• Clarify that their dynamic is platonic and playful, never disrespectful.
• Funny DMs and internet speculation about their relationship dynamics are discussed.

Quote:

"There’s just something about it that I’m like, oh, ok. I love this for y’all. Taking notes." — Kail, about Becky and Leah’s relationship, [18:22]

Quote:

"We say all this to say that Becky and I are not cheating on our partners. Our partners are very aware of the dynamic..." — Kail, [16:41]

5. Podcast Origins & the Meaning of ‘Karma & Chaos’

[19:12–22:17]

• The original podcast was to be "Chaos After Dark," focused on taboo topics.
• The show’s branding was rushed due to unforeseen contractual obligations; “Karma & Chaos” was Becky’s idea.
• Becky explains karma as the desire to spread and attract good, while Kail represents chaos.

Quote:

"I’ve been chasing good karma my entire life... The universe gives back what we put to it." — Becky, [21:16]

Quote:

"Can we just go change the entire Wikipedia page of chaos and just put all of my stuff?" — Kail, [22:17]

6. Navigating Grief, Loss & Community Change

[23:20–29:21]

• Becky shares losing her father after eight years of anticipatory grief (he had primary progressive aphasia).
• She also discusses losing her best friend in 2016 (overdose) and how that shifted her perspective on living for others.
• Both discuss the grieving process for both people who have died and those still alive—friendships, estranged family.
• Becky acknowledges that listeners might “mourn the loss of the old show” and validates those feelings.

Quote:

"Pain is so universal... It’s a shame we’re taught that we have to hold things in." — Becky, [24:38]

Quote:

"Grief brings up untouched feelings you just don’t know are there." — Becky, [29:58]

7. Understanding Family Dynamics & Generational Differences

[38:00–44:31]

• Becky’s childhood: the youngest of five, never had an “adult conversation” with her father, yet felt deeply loved.
• She points out the emotional limitations of the baby boomer generation and sees her parents’ capacity (or lack thereof) for emotional expression as largely generational.
• Kail probes differences in parental love, attention, and the sibling dynamic.

Quote:

"There was always someone that had the most love for sure... we were different humans and our parents just got along better with certain personalities." — Becky, [40:37–41:05]

Quote:

"That baby boomer generation has an inability emotionally to love children as much as, say, our generation." — Becky, [42:21]

8. Reality TV, Authenticity, and Shared Memories

[47:21–55:16]

• Becky recalls being involved in Kail’s MTV “Teen Mom” journey and other TV projects—not as a paid friend, but for the experience.
• Both reminisce on the surrealness and the ups and downs of filming reality TV in their 20s.
• Becky reflects on watching old clips ("the pencil-thin eyebrows era") and considers doing rewatch commentaries for Patreon.

Quote:

"How many people were filming a TV show in their 20s? ...It was such a weird and cool time." — Kail, [50:39]

9. Audience Engagement & Looking Forward

[55:16–56:47]

• They encourage listeners to share their own stories about grief, friendship, and relationships, and suggest future show topics by email.
• Both are vulnerable about the show’s current “work in progress” state but optimistic for growth and deep dives to come.

Quote:

"Stick with us. Give us a chance. Don’t go anywhere yet, because this episode we know is all over the place. But... we’ll have a really good show." — Kail, [56:09]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On rekindling:

  "It was a pretty beautiful thing how our relationship kind of came back together. Kail reached out after my dad passed away...that validated those feelings for me." — Becky, [04:05]

• On public perception:

  "We’re not cheating on our partners...Becky and I have never been in love. Becky and I have never even had a crush on each other." — Kail, [16:37]

• On generational love:

  “I think that’s a generational thing...that baby boomer generation has an inability emotionally to love children as much as, say, our generation.” — Becky, [42:21]

• On grief and loss:

  "Grief is just crazy...I’ve been mourning my Dad’s death for eight years. He was diagnosed in, ironically, 2016." — Becky, [29:58]

• On the podcast’s mission:

  “We want to change direction; we want to love, we want to show emotions, we want to overly care for… they just put forth what they knew.” — Becky, [44:31]

Important Timestamps

• Reunion and context: [03:30–06:40]
• Owning up, transparency: [06:40–10:47]
• Inspiration for reconnection: [12:40–14:02]
• Addressing rumors and boundaries: [14:02–18:33]
• Show naming and philosophy: [19:12–22:17]
• Navigating grief and transitions: [23:20–29:21]
• Generational parenting, family: [38:00–44:31]
• Reality TV memories: [47:21–55:16]
• Listener participation prompt: [55:16–56:47]

Tone & Takeaways

Warm, unfiltered, and self-aware, this episode is a blend of humor, vulnerability, and genuine attempts to break down taboos around grief, loss, and changing relationships. Kail and Becky balance insights with playful banter, highlighting the power of growth, honesty, and the messy beauty of friendships—old, lost, and renewed. Their hope is to guide listeners through the karma and chaos of life, together.

To submit your stories or request episode topics:
Email karmachaospod@gmail.com
Follow @KarmaChaosPod on TikTok and Becky at @hayer25 on social platforms.