Everybody’s Mic’d Up & Nobody’s Okay

Summary

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
PodcastOne
Episode: Everybody’s Mic’d Up & Nobody’s Okay
Date: March 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this deeply relatable and characteristically unfiltered episode, Kail and Becky invite listeners into the chaos, humor, and heartache of modern adulthood. Rekindling their friendship, they dive into everything from emotional book recommendations to the trials of parenting, the reality of trauma and healing, and candid discussions about internet criticism. With special moments of vulnerability, laughter, and even some supernatural intrigue, this episode is a true reflection of the highs and lows of being “mic’d up and not okay”—and finding solidarity in the messiness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Emotional Book Talk: “The Last Letter”

[00:40 – 04:15]

• Becky shares her current audiobook: “The Last Letter” by Rebecca Yarros.
• Discussion on the writing quality, audiobook narration, and how the story strikes an emotional chord—even causing ugly sobbing.
  • Quote: “But it is so unnecessarily sad.” (Becky, 01:18)
  • Quote: “I feel like this will be that [ugly cry read]…” (Kail, 03:39)
• Both agree this kind of cathartic read is sometimes best done in private, not public.

2. Processing Trauma and Grief

[04:15 – 16:21]

• Kail recalls an emotionally intense Barely Famous guest interview about surviving sexual abuse and confronting the abuser in court.
  • Quote: “We had to take a break because I was sobbing… I don’t know if this job is for me anymore.” (Kail, 04:15)
  • Group discusses how punishments don’t always match the crime for abusers and shares frustration over the justice system.
• Becky shares about upcoming For the Haters episodes, pointing to experiences of compounding grief—losing multiple family members in a short time, young motherhood, open adoption, teen pregnancy, and battling cervical cancer.
  • Quote: “She said her body… the thing that gave her so much… now it’s failing her.” (Becky, 10:54)
• Discussion on how trauma “lives in your body” and the science of epigenetics.
  • Quote: “Your body remembers… it holds onto it…” (Kail, 15:25)
  • Quote: “The trauma your mother experienced… it lives within your DNA. And I really believe that.” (Rebecca, 15:48)

3. Motherhood, Milestones & Family Catch-Up

[16:21 – 22:41]

• Life updates: Kail’s recent travels, shifting her birthday, synchronized PMS between the hosts.
• Heartwarming parental pride as Kail’s son, Elliot, gets invited to join the National Honor Society.
  • Quote: “Just you being invited alone speaks volumes about your hard work…” (Kail, 18:40)
• Reflections on the unpredictable, sometimes emotional roller coaster that comes with parenting, sibling milestones, and nostalgic stories from their own childhoods.

4. Friendship, Weddings & Regrets

[27:43 – 29:52]

• Becky expresses how she wishes Kail had been at her wedding, describing the intimacy and beauty of that day.
  • Quote: “It was literally the best day of my life… surrounded by our best friends and so much love.” (Becky, 28:31)
• The two reflect on fate, timing, and the early stages of their friendship.

5. Navigating Public Criticism & Mom Shaming

[30:08 – 36:29]

• Becky addresses a “scandal” from their Facebook group: she approved a post titled “I can’t stand Becky” to spark honest dialogue.
  • Quote: “I can’t stand myself sometimes either… let’s see how everyone else feels.” (Becky, 30:54)
• The post leads to a discussion of motherhood, postpartum struggles, and the shame that keeps people from honestly expressing how tough parenting can be.
  • Quote: “People aren’t honest about their postpartum journey… because they get shamed.” (Becky, 32:08)
  • Quote: “I value putting those posts through… there’s learning lessons inside them.” (Becky, 34:53)
• Kail shares personal stories of postpartum exhaustion and the critical need for structural support and empathy.

6. The Realities of Motherhood: Postpartum, Support, and Judgment

[41:08 – 48:03]

• Kail references tragic news stories around postpartum mental health to highlight the lack of real support and meaningful check-ins for new moms.
• The group debates the inadequate support structures in the US – rare resources, such as night nurses, and the value of community in postpartum care, like in Amish communities or other countries.
  • Quote: “For six weeks, the new mom doesn’t have to really do a whole lot… everybody comes and rallies for them.” (Kail, 44:13)

7. Feeding Kids, Allergies, and Childhood Anecdotes

[52:59 – 55:50]

• The hosts discuss approaches to introducing solids and food allergies, including baby-led weaning and sensitivities.
  • Quote: “I read that when you flavor and season a baby’s food, it actually helps them in the long run.” (Kail, 55:08)
• Lighthearted stories from Kail’s childhood: eating mud pies (!), messy nostalgia, and differences in today’s food culture for kids.

8. Internet Culture: Mukbangs, TikTok, & Disordered Eating

[59:00 – 61:16]

• The crew gets meta about the popularity of “mukbang” videos (watching people eat large amounts of food on camera), analyzing their appeal and origins for people with eating disorders or loneliness, and even some viewers’ odd sexual fixations.
  • Quote: “It became popular in Asia—people eating on camera so that people who … were eating alone had someone to eat with.” (Rebecca, 60:30)
  • Quote: “It sounds like men are more just innately corrupt and disgusting… let’s just give birth to them in the dirt and see if they can claw their way out.” (Kail, 62:07)

9. Is It Karma, Is It Chaos?: Listener Submission

[63:02 – 65:47]

• A listener, a gay man from a small Philly suburb, describes finding his community and sense of self by moving to NYC for college at FIT (Fashion Institute).
  • Quote: “I went from being the only gay kid in my grade to being in a classroom filled with gay people… going to college in the gayest city in the world truly saved my life.” (Listener email, 63:51)
• Kail and Becky reflect on how transformative new environments can be, especially for queer youth, and their hopes for Kail’s son Elliot.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Becky on book-induced sadness:
  “I don’t know if you’d want to read it in public…” [03:08]
• Kail on experiencing trauma vicariously:
  “I was sobbing, like, not just a little bit of tears…” [04:15]
• On shame culture and honest parenting:
  “I value constructive feedback… but I wasn’t sitting home like so sad that person talked about me.” (Becky, 32:08)
• Kail on the duality of motherhood:
  “Both can be true. You can be struggling in motherhood and also love your child…” [35:34]
• Becky on baby milestones:
  “Leah taught him how to get chased… he’ll look behind to see if you’re starting to run after him, then he takes off—it’s so cute.” [50:30]
• Rebecca on the importance of honest dialogue:
  “Having those conversations about the truth about motherhood is really helpful… more people making informed decisions means significantly less neglected children.” [44:43]
• Kail, in jest, about men’s societal role:
  “Let’s just give birth to them in the dirt and see if they can claw their way out, you know?” [62:07]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:40 to 04:15] — Book chat and emotional impact of “The Last Letter”
• [04:15 to 16:21] — Trauma, grief, and processing pain through storytelling and community
• [16:21 to 22:41] — Life/family updates; pride and challenges of parenting
• [27:43 to 29:52] — Friendship milestones & wedding memories
• [30:08 to 36:29] — Social media criticism, honesty, and the realities of motherhood
• [41:08 to 48:03] — Postpartum mental health, support structures, and need for empathy
• [52:59 to 55:50] — Food, baby-led weaning, allergies, and childhood anecdotes
• [59:00 to 61:16] — Mukbang culture explained & analyzed
• [63:02 to 65:47] — Karma or Chaos: transformative power of finding queer community

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Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates why “Karma & Chaos” stands out: raw, relatable conversations about real life, with plenty of honesty, mutual support, and no fear of going deep—or making one another laugh through tears. Whether exploring generational trauma, the complexity of motherhood, or tackling internet drama, Kail and Becky keep it both authentic and uplifting, offering listeners the kind of camaraderie that turns chaos into connection.

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To get in on the conversation or submit your own Karma or Chaos story, email [e-mail].
Join the Patreon at patreon.com/kalery for full video episodes and early access.

Transcript

[Kale]

Foreign. You can start it this time because I've tried three times.

[Becky]

Good morning, good evening, good day, good night. Coming at you live from the content house.

[Kale]

Isn't that what you usually do? She does everybody's mic'd up today. Alessandra's mic'd up. Rebecca's mic'd up. Because we've heard your complaints and we understand and we bought mics for them when they chime in. So I hope you all are happy and I will bill you all separately.

[Becky]

Thanks, boss.

[Kale]

No. So how are you? How was your drive in?

[Becky]

My drive in. Okay, well, couple things. It was torrential downpouring. So like I was like this.

[Kale]

Right.

[Becky]

Cuz the ver.

[Kale]

Listening to what audiobook I started the last letter. Oh, that's a next on my list.

[Becky]

You haven't read it?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

You know, so interesting because it just screams kale. No. Oh, the book is so interesting. I'm probably halfway through, I think.

[Kale]

How's the audio though? Because I'm really weird about my audiobooks.

[Becky]

Audio is great.

[Kale]

Okay. So I could listen on audio.

[Becky]

And quite honestly, the. The quality of writing is good. And I typically have some quarrels with like Rebecca Yaris's writing. I love obviously fourth wing. I talk about it all the time, but I think her writing is a little juvenile. And so like I didn't really have that. Like the quality of writing in this. Like, I'm hooked. I'm hooked to the story. I'm hooked to everything. But it is so unnecessarily sad.

[Kale]

Yeah. I've heard every. Everybody that I see talking about it is literally sobbing.

[Becky]

I've tried.

[Alessandra]

I cried the whole ride here.

[Becky]

Like, it, it.

[Kale]

So are you sure it was torrential downpouring or was it your eyes that was funny?

[Becky]

Like, that was like. That joke was so bad that like it made me. It made me like uncomfortable. Like I.

[Kale]

It was bad.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like I feel like I feel embarrassed. Like you just physically felt what cringe is.

[Kale]

I thought I was being funny, but Rebecca and I are. Yeah.

[Becky]

It just like came over me. Like I like secondhand embarrassed anyway. Like, okay, wow.

[Kale]

So I'll never sign up to meet stand up comic.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Thanks a lot.

[Becky]

It's just like the writing, like the things that she says. It could be a very simple conversation between like a. A person and a. I'm trying not to give any spoilers. Like a person and a child and like the words that she uses in that moment to let between them. It's like not a sad situation. It's just. And then what the child says, you're just like waterworks.

[Kale]

Like, I'm just like torrential downpour.

[Becky]

This is so sad. Like, it. And apparently it's sad from start to finish.

[Kale]

I can't wait. Sign me up. I gotta get on a plane in a couple days. I'm. I'll just cry on the plane.

[Rebecca]

That's what you want.

[Becky]

I don't know if I would read it. It's like, re. It. It's like. I know that I'm an emotional person, and I know that I, like, cry a lot. I haven't been crying a lot lately, but it. This, like, it's. I don't know if you would want to read it in public.

[Rebecca]

The content is like, what's the book about?

[Kale]

Like. Yeah. What's the plot?

[Becky]

I don't know, because I don't know what. Like, I went into it blind, so I don't know what the back of the book says.

[Kale]

Okay. So actually just. I'll go into it blind. I don't want to know. I'm happy to just do. The thing is that it's fucked up. One of my favorite books of all time, I read on a plane and Ugly Cried, and I'll never forget it. And so, like, I. I feel like this will be that. You know what I mean? So I'm okay with it.

[Becky]

But like most books, you're, like, waiting for something. You get to know characters.

[Kale]

So, like, there's no character development.

[Becky]

That's not the point. The point is, like, it makes you cry right away. Yeah, Right. Like, you don't even know the character and you're crying. Right. Like, you didn't gain any type of. And it's just, like, the scenarios around it, too. It's.

[Kale]

Let me tell you something. I had a guest on Barely Famous this week. I don't. It's gonna air the first Friday in April. We had to take a break because I was sobbing. Like, not just, like, a little bit of tears. I'm talking, like, cover my face. Ugly crying in the middle of this interview. And I said, I don't know if this job is for me anymore.

[Becky]

That's funny. It's not funny. I did the same thing.

[Kale]

No, because, like, I'm.

[Becky]

What was the premise of the story?

[Kale]

She was sexually abused by her father for 17 years and had to face him in court. And then the cur. The life. The curveball that life threw her. And where she is today is.

[Rebecca]

You just did your makeup.

[Becky]

I just feel like prison sometime isn't enough.

[Kale]

No, it wasn't you know, it was

[Becky]

like there should be separate prisons for people that have. There's no reasonable doubt. Right? Like, there's zero reasonable doubt. Like, there's no question.

[Kale]

It's not enough.

[Becky]

It's. Yeah.

[Kale]

And I told her that I really

[Rebecca]

think, like, people probably think I'm nuts, but I. It should be like public execution vibes.

[Becky]

Like living in a box in public where they get minimum food. Like torture. No, I mean it like people that like that murder. Like murdering with intent.

[Kale]

Right.

[Becky]

Like. Or sexual abuse to children. Any. Like all of these things. There needs were harsher penalties.

[Kale]

I agree.

[Becky]

I told her jail is a walk in a park for a lot of people.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like that jail is sometimes better than their real life.

[Kale]

Yep.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

They don't have to worry about anything because all their meals are covered. They got close.

[Rebecca]

We are today.

[Kale]

Yeah, this is a little dark, but

[Becky]

anyway, let me just say this to. Can you. To continue on the Darkness in I think two weeks from now, I have two stories to tell. The. I was just telling Alessandro this before I recorded. I've been recording a bunch before the haters. And this person I recorded with had lost like a lot of people in her life in the past, like five years.

[Kale]

Lost in terms of death.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like she lost her mom, her dad, her grandmother, and then most recently her husband.

[Kale]

What the.

[Rebecca]

This is not funny. But I also was like wondering how else would you lose a person? Like friendship? Like I'm picturing you just.

[Kale]

That's what losing them.

[Rebecca]

Like hiding.

[Becky]

So sorry. I just didn't want to gamble during this.

[Kale]

I had to let it out.

[Becky]

And that episode, I. I haven't cried on a. For the Haters episode. And like, I don't remember the last time. And I like, could not like hold it together. And I was editing the video and you could just see my eyes like, and me breathing, trying to breathe through it.

[Kale]

But when will that episode come out in.

[Becky]

In two weeks. Let me get to my point in telling you all this. I was editing this episode because I'm a one man show over at for the Haters. And make sure you go listen so I can become a two man show.

[Kale]

She needs to hire an editor, but we need listens to be first.

[Becky]

And I have something to intrigue for you guys for that. Anyway, I was editing this episode. Right. Going through it. I get to get towards the end of it. And a man's voice comes through in the editing. I have it. You want to hear it?

[Kale]

Yeah, I do.

[Rebecca]

And I want you to tell me what you hear him Say in.

[Kale]

What do you. How do you know about this?

[Becky]

I just told you. I said I talked.

[Kale]

I'm sorry about it.

[Sponsor Voice]

Pick him up.

[Kale]

When I ask for help, there's hope. I, I. There's hope. That's what I said. There's hope. She sounds, help.

[Rebecca]

And then he says, there's hope. Like, I believe that's what he said.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Does she recognize the voice? Did you send it to her?

[Becky]

She said, she just said, I fully can't make out what. What the voice is trying to say. I will say I was sitting in my husband's game room, craft room, and surrounded by, like, a shrine of stuff for my dad. So for sure, extra energy swirl swirling it. And thanks for sharing.

[Kale]

She doesn't recognize the voice, though.

[Becky]

I mean, it's kind of, like, muffled. So like, even, like, when you connect with ghosts, it never comes through in a. It, like, kind of comes through in that muffled way.

[Kale]

That's so crazy.

[Becky]

Isn't that wild?

[Kale]

Yeah, that's really weird.

[Becky]

This. The story that I was wanted to talk to you about was. And this will come. This came out. When this episode comes out, it will have been out. Okay. Like, so you have to go listen to it. And, like, honestly, Jamie, who it is, like, we've kind of, like, we've become, like, friends over the, like, since we recorded, and it's been really cool to get to know her, but she gave birth at 15 to the pastor's son and went through and went through, like, the whole process of. Of being told, like, to give up the baby up for adoption, joined an agency, went through, like, she's described it as feeling like a puppy mill of people trying to, like, help her and support her. And then she ended up, like, someone came to her and was like, hey, I have this couple that I think you should meet. And it was someone that she trusted. And, like, the couple, like, gave her personalized, like, envelope, like, with cutout pictures of them with, like. And she said before that it was just resumes. She got, like, she was just like, another tick. But, like, these people, like, personalized this for her, and so she automatically had a connection with them, decided, like, that was the family that. That she was gonna go with and has had a beautiful open adoption with them after she gave birth. Like, she said she went on this, like, just crazy. Just, like, fine. Like, she. She didn't have support after that. Like, she gave up her kid and then didn't have any support from the church. Kind of, like, got shunned. Yeah, it was.

[Kale]

Did they encourage her to do that though.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So they encouraged her and then discarded her.

[Becky]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kale]

I have chills.

[Becky]

And then she got pregnant again and moved to Denver and then decided to become an egg donor so that she could financially help support her. So she has been an egg. She in that time she was like an egg donor so she could have other kids out there because she donated like a bunch of times. And back then there was no sort of open egg donation. So like the kids would be 12 at this point. So there's going to be a come a time where they might get on

[Kale]

Ancestry, they might get on 23.

[Becky]

And she was talking about how like those things weren't considered then like because there wasn't social media.

[Kale]

She wants them to find her.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay, so, so if she had the option back then when she donated, she would have done that. But she didn't get the. Oh wow, that's incredible.

[Becky]

And then she talks just about the journey of like being in an open adoption. Like she has a relationship with her. I don't know if she calls her daughter. I think she does. I forget, I'm like blanking out. But then she, she got married, had two kids and then she found out she had cervical cancer. And, and like the cancer part like she said that she had such like her body gave her so much. She did so much that like the thing that gave her so much that so much of her identity is like attacking her. And so she talks through that like, like I had to take up the piece of me that just gave me everything and now it's failing her. Yeah. And like so her identity crisis of like yeah, it was so like. And the way that she talks about her story is just so, so beautiful. Oh wow. But it's just crazy like that journey of having a kid at 15, moving across the country, like having another kid, another teen pregnancy. Cuz she was like 19 when she had that child. But she has no contact with any of the her kids fathers. Like it's like out of sight, out of mind. She says it's like no teen baby daddies.

[Kale]

I wish I had it that way. Yeah.

[Becky]

And she just lives this beautiful life now with like her daughter. The like the first girl is about to turn 21 and all and has had a beautiful open adoption with those parents. With her parents. Yeah. I love that.

[Kale]

I'll be, I'll be excited to listen to that episode for sure.

[Becky]

And like just like I can't wait for that day that comes where she, she says that like a branch lights up on her tree in ancestry.com she's done it.

[Kale]

Yeah. Okay. So she's kind of just waiting for them to all connect with her.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

That's incredible. That's really cool.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

That is really cool.

[Sponsor Voice]

This show is brought to you by Better Help.

[Kale]

Becky and I are taking a moment

[Sponsor Voice]

to celebrate women and all that they carry.

[Kale]

We talk a lot about womanhood over

[Sponsor Voice]

here, and there's a lot of things that we do in work and relationships and families and in many roles that we play every single day. And so we just want to take a second to recognize that women do so much. And March does include International Women's Day. So take a moment to text someone in your life that inspires you or, you know, a really strong woman that you really look up to, because those little compliments can go a really long way. And that brings me to my next point. If you're a woman that, you know, just needs a little extra encouragement or wants to do something with therapy, Better Help is a great option to do that. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. becky and I both have been open about talking about therapy and sort of our journeys throughout. Throughout that process. And the cool thing about BetterHelp is that they have a therapist match commitment. So Better Help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your actual goals.

[Kale]

You just have to fill out a

[Sponsor Voice]

short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. And then they use over 12 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means they typically get it

[Kale]

right the first time. But in the event that they don't

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Rebecca]

I find it really interesting. I said this to Kelly after we had her on that. This is the second story we're hearing this week that ends with an illness. And I really think that trauma, it really lives in your body and it comes out like that. It's so interesting to me.

[Becky]

It was Interesting, because she didn't. She what? She didn't know she had cancer. She went in for having issues and she decided just to. To have a hysterectomy or like to get. I. I forget what the word is, but she had her cervix removed and when they removed it, that's when they found the cancer. They only found it because she decide she opted into having that.

[Kale]

Wow, that's a really good point about it living in your body. Like it's sort of like the trauma manifests itself. They say you might not remember certain traumas even when from your like infancy or toddlerhood, but your body remembers and your body holds on to it. And that's why people sometimes get like visceral react reactions and they don't know why or panic attacks and they don't understand why. Because it lives in your body.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Rebecca]

And it's epigenetics as well. Like there's so many studies that show like, because women are born with all the eggs that they are gonna have. Right? You have those eggs when you're living in your mom, like when she's pregnant. So. Because like all of your DNA and your genetics are all living within your eggs and your mom and your body that like the trauma your mother experienced, that her grandmother, your gr. Her mother, her mother, it lives within your DNA. And I really believe that truth, like down to my core, I believe that.

[Kale]

Yeah, well, for sure I don't. I mean, I feel like you kind of threw a curveball at me and I wasn't expecting any of that. So let me just pull up my list.

[Becky]

You have a list now?

[Kale]

Well, I have a little album in my phone. Just got a list.

[Becky]

Well, first of all, I mean, what's been going on in life? I walk into this house and you don't update me on anything I don't have.

[Kale]

So we went to Dallas. Lindsay and I recorded in Dallas. I went to my sister's baby shower and I'm leaving for Alabama when. When this airs, I will be in the air going to Alabama to film some stuff. And I have decided because of that, I will be celebrating my birthday on March 21st instead of March 14th, because I'm to be fighting for my life that day and also having my period. So I have decided March 21 is my birthday this year.

[Becky]

Happy birthday, first and foremost.

[Kale]

Thank you.

[Becky]

I think we. You got something to say over there? No. Okay. I think we need to reconsider when we time these recordings because for both of us, this is the week before our Period.

[Kale]

Which is literal hell, literally. Yeah. And for the both of us to have it at the same time is challenging to say the least.

[Becky]

You got something to say now? You just raised your hand like, me too.

[Alessandra]

Me too.

[Kale]

Everyone has their period with kale in the chaos.

[Becky]

We. We didn't. I came to visit last weekend.

[Kale]

Yeah. For Elliot's play.

[Becky]

For Elliot's play. He didn't know I was coming.

[Kale]

And was I supposed to tell him no. Okay.

[Becky]

He was really happy to see me. He was excited.

[Kale]

Actually. Speaking of him, he was invited to apply for the National Honor Society. And that invitation goes out to people with a 92.5 cumulative GPA or higher. And his is, in fact, higher. And so there's a lot of work that him and I will be doing this weekend because, I mean, it's a full blown, like, process to gather all the materials that are needed for this, but then also to, like, you could gather everything and still not actually be accepted in.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So. But I told him, I said, said, are you gonna apply? He said, yes. And I said, well, I just want you to know whether you ultimately get in or not, just you, like, I'm proud of you. Regardless, it doesn't matter. Like, if you just. You being invited alone speaks volumes about your hard work and your ethics and, you know, things like that. So that was the same day that I recorded with KL KL Randis. And I was sobbing, ugly, crying. Like, I'm talking. Like, you could hear it in the mic. I was crying. And so then I'm crying, crying, crying. I get finally, like, put myself together to see the kids, and then Elliot says, here you go. Open it. And it's an envelope. And then I just start crying again. And I'm like, this is not the emotional roller coaster that I thought I was signing up for. So that's where we're at. Lincoln got braces. This is all within the span of two weeks. Lincoln got braces. Lux got an expander. We started basketball again. There's a lot happening, apparently.

[Becky]

Yeah. Elliot did. Did text me about the. About the National Honors Society, and he asked me to be a reference for him.

[Kale]

Yeah. To write him a letter.

[Becky]

So I felt so honored.

[Kale]

I. It's been. It's crazy because it's like, obviously I can't take credit for him and his hard work. Like, that's all him.

[Becky]

But you can't take a little bit of credit.

[Kale]

Not really. But you know what? It's crazy because did I ever think such a good human would come out of me? No. Like, I haven't always, I haven't always made great choices. I'm, you know, I'm only where I am by sheer chance. Do you know what I mean?

[Rebecca]

Like, you need to give yourself a

[Becky]

little more credit than that. Yeah.

[Kale]

I mean, MTV had thousands of other stories they could have picked. Yeah.

[Becky]

But okay, okay, let's, let's, let's think about this. There were, let's say 10 of you that went through the show all having the same opportunity coming out of the show. Not everyone did or, and is doing like you. It's a lot of your choices that have you here. But I would agree that it's crazy that such good humans come from you.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I think that is a wild like. Because all your kids are great. Yeah.

[Kale]

Or just they're specifically. I mean, Lux and Creed are still too young, but Elliot and Lincoln have very, very different and better work ethic than I did at their age. Right. Like I developed work ethic based on my circumstances, you know.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Over time. And it's been ebbs, you know, ebbs and flows there. But Elliot and Lincoln, I mean Elliot, he doesn't, he's never had to be told to do his homework. He's never had to be told to do, you know, do what you have to do so you could do what you want to do. He's never had like Lincoln too. And, and Lincoln more so not necessarily academically, but from you. Sports, training, hard work, all of that kind of thing. Like he texted me last night, he said I'm gonna see if I can just. If my body can naturally wake up at 6:30. But if I'm not up, can you get me up? And I'm like, not you trying to train yourself to wake up at 6:30 in the morning. And I'm like begging my body not to.

[Becky]

Yeah. Sometimes that's what's needed. I feel like that was like me being an athlete is what made me do well in school was because like being an athlete and being a part of the team was so important to me that I knew I needed to get, get good enough grades to be able to continue. Yeah. Because I wasn't smart. Like it didn't come naturally. Like I had to try and like they did. That's. I feel like that's the kind of, the difference between them. I feel like a lot of it naturally comes to Elliot, which is nice. But yeah, his play was great. What? Something funny happened at the play. Oh. When these two girls, two of Elliot's friends were there and she said something like oh, I'm here to see my girlfriend. And I said, oh, I have a wife. She goes, yeah, I could tell. It's like this 15 year old girl. I was like, damn, I just want to know one.

[Kale]

I mean, yeah, it's true.

[Becky]

Only like, you'll see.

[Kale]

Oh, I was singing Stand By Me by Prince voice. What? We're singing as you stand Stand by

[Becky]

me so darling, darling, stand by me. Oh, Stan, I think I walked down the aisle to that.

[Kale]

This is the one. This is the version I have.

[Rebecca]

Not kill listening to the bachata version.

[Kale]

As long as you stay Stand by me.

[Becky]

Oh, the cameras are rolling too.

[Kale]

Wow. Yeah.

[Becky]

This song is really important to her. Not really good. Okay, this is. This is my version that I walk down the aisle to.

[Kale]

I don't know the English version.

[Becky]

This isn't the real version. This is a remix on the machine version.

[Kale]

That's pretty. Get it, girl. Yeah. I don't know though. I don't know these words.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's what. I walked down the aisle too.

[Kale]

I didn't know there was other renditions. That's amazing.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

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[Rebecca]

Well, welcome back to.

[Becky]

Well, we didn't leave. We're in the middle of the episode.

[Kale]

Right in the middle of an episode. We took a little high, a little break, a little intermission.

[Becky]

Can I just say something?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Becky]

I wanted to, because I said, like, oh, that's what I walked down the aisle to remember. I texted you and I said, it makes me really sad that you weren't at my wedding. I wish we became friends, like, a little. A little bit sooner.

[Kale]

So we became. Your dad passed away in June. Yeah, I got married in July.

[Becky]

Yeah, My dad passed away June 12th. I got married July 6th.

[Kale]

So we were talking, but not. Yeah, like, like enough for me to go to the wedding. Yeah. Like, yeah.

[Becky]

It would have been weird.

[Kale]

Yeah, for sure. It would have been like, hey, by the way, thanks for reaching out about my dad. Do you want to come to my wedding?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Rebecca]

I was there, too.

[Becky]

I wish. You. I wish. Yeah, just because, like. Like, I can't express. Let me just. I don't know if I even. We've talked about my. My wedding day. I know that it's so cliche to say, but it was literally the best day of my life. And I don't even mean it in the way of, like, my. Mine and Leah's, like, love, like, that was there and, like, in full force. But, like, we had our wedding at our house and we had a private ceremony and there was 30 people there. So it was like our closest friends and direct family. And so these people were at our house all morning, like, like, leading up to the ceremony. So we were just surrounded by, like, our best friends and just so much love, like, and you could see the love between the people. And, like, it was just the most beautiful day. And also our friends stayed over that night, too. So we woke up to all of our friends in our house and, like, reminiscing about how the night was. And just, it was so, like, we had friends like Natasha And Al slept in our room like the night of our wedding. And like I just remember like waking up and tiptoeing around my house and seeing where everyone was like Christmas, but for your wedding. It was liter. Like it was the best day of my life. It was just so beautiful. I cried a lot that day.

[Kale]

I would imagine you are a crybaby.

[Becky]

So anyway, that's what I wanted to say.

[Kale]

You don't have Becky. You don't have to throw things at me, Becky. This is a hostile work environment and you're abusive.

[Becky]

Well then fire me.

[Rebecca]

Thank God you're the.

[Becky]

The boss. Yeah. Literally, if you have an issue, deal with it yourself.

[Alessandra]

You work.

[Becky]

Rebecca, wait. A couple things actually we need to talk about. We haven't recorded since the snake skin shirt.

[Rebecca]

We have recorded.

[Becky]

Yeah. No, you're so dumb. We haven't recorded since our. Our Facebook group. Little scandal happened.

[Kale]

What's the scandal?

[Becky]

So the someone posted in our Facebook group. And I love. I was feeling a little spicy that day. I read the post and I said, you know what? Today's the day to let this post through. And it said, I can't stand Becky.

[Kale]

That was my favorite post of all time.

[Becky]

And I thought to myself, I can't stand myself sometimes either. Let's see what, let's see how everyone else feels. Yeah, like let me get some feedback from other people. What can I change? What can I do better at?

[Kale]

I'm not willing to change. So you're already better than me.

[Becky]

The post went on to say essentially she was. And yeah, I can see who actually posted it even though it was posted anonymous.

[Kale]

The funny part is that you let the post through.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And that's the best part to me is that this person was trolling and then Becky let it in.

[Rebecca]

I get on Facebook at the ripe time of 6:30 in the morning and I look and there is over 600 comments. And I go, what the. I look and it goes, I can't stand Becky. I said, who let this in? So I go in the back end to look and I go, becky let it in. Who let this in?

[Becky]

It was Becky. I love that she figured it out that way though. Like who did this, Rebecca?

[Rebecca]

I'm like, why would they do this to Becky?

[Becky]

Why would they let this through and then manage herself?

[Kale]

I loved it.

[Becky]

Well, I knew I wanted to see the dialogue around if people understood what I was saying, even if it was a 50 50. But literally 99% of the 99.9% literally of the comments were in support. And I Understand why? Because the post was really triggering for discrediting anyone that wasn't a stay at home mom. Like, it was like you, like, I can't believe you don't feel the, like that passion to be at home with your kids and take care of them and like, but all X, Y and Z. And a lot of the comments that, the thing that the reason I am so blunt and so honest about my life is because a lot of the comments were this post is exactly why people aren't honest about their postpartum journey. Or that this is why people aren't honest about motherhood because they get shamed. And I love you and I love everyone that was sticking up for me and like worried about me. I promise you. I learned when I first became friends with Kale that I like take things on the Internet with a grain of salt. Like, I don't carry weight from what a stranger thinks about me. I value constructive feedback and feedback in that way. But like, I wasn't sitting home like so sad that that person talked about me.

[Kale]

No, Becky and I literally were texting and laughing about it because it was one of those things that was just

[Becky]

like, like There was like 800 comments by the time I was done.

[Kale]

I have a, like a love hate relationship with comments like that because on one like, I do love motherhood. I do feel like there are people who don't and they don't. You, you don't know what you don't know. So you don't know how you are going to feel about motherhood or parenthood until you become one. And that's the unfortunate truth is like, literally you don't know how it's going to be. And I have not been a stranger to admitting that I. Birth to one is not a fun time for me. I don't have a. I, I get through it, but I'm, I struggle. The first year, it's a, it's a lot. And so, and I do think that while the child is growing up or the children are growing up gets easier in a way. But the challenges are very different, you know. And excuse the out of Becky if she's exhausted. Like, that's really. A lot of it comes down to literally delirium and being exhausted. And the other part of it is like, like you, I don't care how old you are, whether you're a teen mom or a 40 year old new mom. The shit's hard. Realizing that your life is not just yours anymore, literally. And Jerry and Tom from the Dude Dads just Walked out. They had stopped by over here and they, you know, Jerry and Becky were talking about parenthood and Becky literally said like her life is not hers anymore. So like excuse the out of her while she's processing that. Like, I don't know, it's just infuriating. But some of the comments, like they brought up a lot of valid points.

[Becky]

100. And that's why I value putting those. That's why I value putting those posts through is because there's learning lessons inside them. I value what people are saying and their perspective of like why that post hurt them. Like why was it triggering for them. Right. Like who knows? There might be. And I think this was one of the like comments. Like their mom, someone was talking about their mom being a stay at home mom and just being miserable doing it. And that affected their life. Like, and so there's just. People are living so many different styles of life. Like no two lives are the same.

[Kale]

And I think both can be true. You can be struggling in motherhood and also love your child. Like both can be true at the same time. And it's infuriating when people get on social media or even in casual conversation in real life and like act like both can't be true. There are parts of motherhood that I like. Right. Like, but overall I love being a mom. I love my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way. But that doesn't. That's not to say that there aren't parts of it that I don't like.

[Becky]

And so many people were like, just because someone can imagine it doesn't mean they're going to do it.

[Kale]

Be so for real.

[Alessandra]

Literally.

[Becky]

Like just cuz I can like imagine how people so easily disconnect themselves from a ch. Like from their children does. I'm not a bad, like I'm not a shitty person. I'm not going to do that because I'm a good person. Right. Like even like she can. Like just because I can understand how out in the heat of like the frustration.

[Kale]

Frustration, like sleep deprived stress.

[Becky]

Yeah. A mom reaches that point of like doing whatever. Just because I can understand it doesn't mean I'm gonna do it.

[Kale]

There was so. And I've talked about this before, this is not the first time I've talked about it. But Lincoln never slept in a crib. Okay. So it was at times very, very challenging and frustrating for me. And one time. So when I had Lincoln, Javi started sleeping on the couch. We didn't sleep in the same bed at that point. Forward. And so I have Lincoln on my boob all night long for feedings and I sleep on my side or whatever. By six in the morning I was so deliriously tired that I hope nobody like uses this against me, but I've talked about it before. I was so tired and literally could not function that I put him in the crib, crib, closed the door and went to my room, turned the TV all the way up and I set my alarm for one hour because I said if I do, I'm going to either hurt myself or I'm gonna hurt him. Because I was so exhausted and Javi worked full time so it wasn't like I could just hey, here, take the baby while I take a nap. And so I think, I mean, and then Javi came in and shamed the out of me for it, but it was like hurt myself or him or put him in a safe spot and walk out of the room to get

[Becky]

my literally the safest thing you can do.

[Kale]

So like, when you're talking about like understanding that doesn't mean that we're going to do it right. Like that just means that we understand how that could have happened.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

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[Becky]

And whatever your goals are.

[Alessandra]

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[Kale]

Actually this kind of came up on the coffee combos episode with Lindsay where like mothers with postpartum, they there's so much shame around it. And so baby blues, like you don't connect with your baby right away. And you know, there's so many challenges, especially like that you don't really predict necessarily. And so we were talking about a case where this woman, she had three kids, she strangled them to death and then jumped out the window. But she survived, survived. And so her kids are all dead. And then I was saying how like if this was a case of postpartum, which we don't know if it was her, I think the youngest child was like eight months old or something like that. If this was a case of postpartum, I'm not, I don't agree with it, I don't condone it, but I could understand how she got and empathize with her because I've been through depression while pregnant. I've had Baby blues. I've had postpartum, you know, so like I can, I can resonate with that, but there's so much shame. And honestly, if I'm being honest, when you go to those after appointments when you have the baby, they're not really asking the right questions in my opinion. They're just checking off a list. They're just checking off a box to say, okay, we asked if you had suicidal ideations, we just asked if you had, you know, trouble with the. But it's all in a form. They're not really asking you, they're not really digging into the, you know, semantics about it. And so I just, I think that there needs to be a bigger conversation around all of those things and more people would probably be willing to talk about it if we didn't have shame around those types of conversations.

[Becky]

Yeah. And I think that there's a lot, also a lot of just structural issues with access to resources and access to support around becoming a bit like a new parent. Like you said, like Javi was like full time working. Like there's so much pressure and so much responsibility.

[Kale]

If I remember correctly, at that time in the military, they, he only got either five or ten days off.

[Becky]

So next week I have someone, a military that had a military person. She was in the navy. She had a kid at 24 weeks and the baby survived and she only got six weeks off.

[Kale]

Yep.

[Becky]

And like it was then when the baby came home, she was five pounds. Still the military base daycare wouldn't take the baby. And she's like, well she's a single mom and she's like what the do I do? Like, so she had to like fight to get. Yeah.

[Kale]

So yeah, there's no support and I don't know. And so you don't have support from like your job, you don't have support from like general public or like social media, like asking for just like to feel seen, I guess. And then people's jobs, like you can't rely on your partner either. So even if she wasn't a single mom.

[Becky]

Yeah, I feel like there should be. You know how like one solid night of sleep will set you up good for a couple days. Like for the rest of the week there should be a mandatory night nurse that's given to all new parents for once, once a week for like six weeks.

[Rebecca]

They do that, that in other countries.

[Kale]

Yeah, well, yeah, the Amish too though. The Amish, that was a big thing that my midwife talked about. Cuz she was a midwife for a lot of Amish? No, like the Amish community rallies for moms in the community. Can you listen to me, though?

[Becky]

Listening to.

[Kale]

For six weeks, the new mom doesn't have to really do a whole lot because that's like their whole thing is, like, everybody comes and rallies for them. But we don't have that type of camaraderie outside of the Amish community.

[Rebecca]

I feel we also can't because we live in a capitalistic society. And like, who do you know that has, like, can work less than 40 hours a week? If 40 hours a week, like most people I know work significantly more than that.

[Becky]

What, the Amish don't use electricity, right?

[Rebecca]

I'm like, what the fuck does that.

[Kale]

Well, I don't use electricity for like 24 hours.

[Rebecca]

I did want to say quickly, before we move on that as somebody embarking on the family planning journey, having those conversations about the truth about motherhood is really helpful for someone like me who is trying to take in every single possible thing and just make an informed decision. And I genuinely believe that if more people talk about it and more people are making informed decisions when they go into parenthood, there's going to be significantly less neglected children. So, like, while that woman feels so rooted and whole in motherhood, being a stay at home mother, there's so many moms like myself that would not. That would not serve me and I would not be a happy mom. And I think you have to be. Be. You don't have to be a happy mom to be a good mom. But it helps.

[Kale]

Yeah, no, I don't know. I would disagree.

[Rebecca]

Well, I just mean that because, like, my mom was a great mom to me and she wasn't happy. Wasn't always happy.

[Becky]

I'm a good mom to Bex, and I don't think I'm the happy. You know what I mean?

[Kale]

Okay, Okay, I see what you're saying.

[Rebecca]

What you're saying completely, because I agree. But like, motherhood, as you know, you've been a mother most of your life.

[Kale]

I think I've been.

[Becky]

You've always been a good mom through the, like, your hardest times.

[Kale]

So, like, I don't agree with that.

[Becky]

No. Okay, I, I understand what you're saying. Like what. Where you're. But like, like you have. While it has dipped in certain areas, there's parts of your life where you weren't happy that you still showed up and were a mom.

[Kale]

I'll tell you what, one of the hardest things I've ever done in my whole life is I'm gonna cry thinking about it. I already did my makeup, so tissues. To Alessandra's point, like, why am I crying today?

[Becky]

Do you want me to make you laugh?

[Kale]

Yeah, I do.

[Becky]

What are you gonna say is like,

[Kale]

like life lives whether you have kids or not. And that's not to say that people without kids don't struggle the same way. But when you have kids and you have to mother through the most trying times of your life is. I don't even know. You can't describe it. Like your world gets flipped up upside down in a different way, but you still have to push. You can't lay in bed. You, you don't, you, you don't get to lay in bed and thug it out. Right. Like, you have to parent through all of it. And so that is like a different type of strength that you have to get from the depths of hell.

[Becky]

First of all, is it downpouring in here?

[Kale]

It's torrential downpour. Right now I'm fighting for my life

[Becky]

face you made when. So to that point when I was speaking before about the one, the woman I record with editing her like the mail coming through, a part of that story that stuck out was, you know, she went to the hospital after her husband died. Couple hours later she went back into her home because her two kids were there and she had to go to bed and wake up and be a mom. Like, she had to be a mother regardless of, of what happened. And like continues to do that. Every single person I interview that has some sort of death to a partner, it's like, you know, we haven't grieved yet because we have to.

[Kale]

You have to keep, you have to

[Becky]

like still be a parent.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like you can't fully submit to the feelings of grief because like there's people relying on you.

[Kale]

You don't have time, you don't have time to grieve, you don't have time to, you know, process. You don't have the time. You just don't. And that's really challenging too because then the way that my therapist describes it is like it seeps out in other ways. You kind of have to push through the grief or whatever it is with your kids, but that is going to seep out either to your K or to work or to your loved ones or to your. And so yeah, it's, it's definitely hard

[Becky]

all to say, let's stop judging and putting shame mom shaming. Cuz

[Kale]

your, your journey in motherhood is not somebody else's journey. And that's not fair to blanket statement

[Becky]

Trust me, I wouldn't want to trade places with that person. Right? Like that, like. And that's okay.

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah.

[Becky]

Like just cuz your life, you can't see yourself in my shoes. Like that's fine, just.

[Kale]

But it sounds like she can't. She doesn't have empathy for other people.

[Becky]

She was going on in the comments about how like she felt bad for Bex and like, like how Bex and all I can think of.

[Kale]

Nobody should feel bad for Bex.

[Becky]

Literally.

[Alessandra]

I wish I was bad.

[Becky]

Yeah. Literally all I could think of is like when it's just me and him and we're laying in bed, bed in the morning when Leah's working and like he's like grabbing my face and trying to like kiss my face and like, and, and like me making like playing with him. And every time he sees me, he's so excited because like I'm just so funny, you know?

[Kale]

That joke was so bad it made me uncomfortable. Like I have secondhand embarrassment. Boo. Tomatoes. Tomatoes.

[Becky]

Tomato. Oh no. Because he, like I am always fun with him so he, when he sees me, he identifies it with laughter. I always, I told Leah my goal in life is to make sure at least he laughs once a day. And I love that. And like, and we literally just. And I'll sit there and be laying with him while he's like laughing at me. And like we're laughing and I'm like, man, like people on the Internet really feel bad for this kid. Like, damn. Like he's good, man. He's literally living the best life.

[Rebecca]

So sad for him.

[Becky]

Yeah. Speaking of Bex, a couple things. First, he got his first tooth, which

[Kale]

is the cutest, funniest thing. Just it's not like the two that you usually lose first came in at the same time, which I think typically happens in babies is like the bottom two come in. Yeah, it's just one.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

It reminds me of Phil and Lil from the Rugrats.

[Becky]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so cute. Just one and two. Leah's taught Leah taught him how to get chased. And so he's in like in his walker. He'll look, he'll look behind to see if you're starting to run after him. And then like you go. And he like takes off. It is so cute.

[Kale]

That's like Valley goes chasing me. Yeah, chasing me.

[Becky]

It's so cute.

[Alessandra]

Something I think about a lot now that I'm a parent and how different food looks for kids today. Our kids are growing up in a world full of ultra processed food. And honestly, it's hard to know if they're getting all the nutrition they actually need.

[Becky]

That's exactly why Haya exists.

[Alessandra]

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[Becky]

Did you baby lead led wean your kids or were they all purees?

[Kale]

No, I baby led weaned. I mean I think there was purees involved but like I mainly did baby blood weeding. It was just easier. But. And I think I talked about it already.

[Becky]

Valley, I don't think you need to say that anymore.

[Kale]

Okay. Yeah, Valley has a peanut allergy so she's going to the allergist next week. So just be careful with like baby leadwean weaning, but specifically peanuts with skin on them.

[Becky]

Interesting. Yeah, well, I think you're supposed to be conscious in the beginning anyway of like introducing foods regardless of if it's baby lead weaning or not.

[Kale]

Well, I think now there's like a surge, I guess I can call it in like sensitivities to gluten, dairy, eggs. Like when we were kids it wasn't as.

[Becky]

Well food wasn't as processed. Processed also true.

[Rebecca]

I also don't think they were Testing us for it. Like, our parents were, like, they didn't know better. Do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

Like, Alex, my sister's kid, was throwing up a lot, and everyone just pegged it as reflux. But then she edited her diet and she stopped.

[Kale]

Yeah, Susie just didn't feed me, so I just. I ate dirt. A lot of dirt. Dirt. And it would make mud pies.

[Becky]

No, shut the up.

[Kale]

Okay, okay.

[Becky]

You would eat dirt?

[Kale]

Yes, I would eat dirt. 9 Wood street in Honesdale, Pennsylvania. And I had a little blue kiddie pool out in the front yard.

[Becky]

Oh, wow.

[Kale]

And I would make dirt. I would make.

[Becky]

Okay, you would make mud pies and eat them.

[Kale]

Yes, because I was hungry.

[Rebecca]

I'm, like, gonna cry thinking about baby kale. And Ike's over here asking about if

[Kale]

there's rocks in the mud pie. Well, it would probably fill me up fast, faster. So it's an important question to ask.

[Becky]

Oh, wow. Anywho, we. We are doing both. We are doing a combination of baby lead weaning and purees.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And it's like the watch. Bex is such a good chewer. No, but I think watching him eat.

[Kale]

He's my kid. Because he loves Indian food.

[Becky]

He does. I gave him Indian food the other day for the first time. A little tiki masala and rice. And. And he loved it.

[Kale]

But what I love about that, they. I read that when you flavor and season like a baby or a toddler's food, it actually helps them in the long run.

[Rebecca]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Versus, like, I think a lot of people who, when baby lead weaning became like a buzzword or whatever, they would give them very bland, very plain foods. And everything that I read said that it's good to put seasonings and stuff.

[Rebecca]

Having babies, like, learn to eat different things. Like, that makes for a better, more explorative kids in the future. And also, a palate is something have to train. So, like, if you're training a pallet from the first time they're eating food, then it just makes it a lot easier. Because being a picky eater, there's nothing wrong with it. But I think anybody who is a picky eater could agree that it makes life a little more difficult.

[Becky]

It does. 100 for sure. It's really funny, though. He learned that. So obviously when you do baby led weaning, they have. They, like, gag and stuff sometimes because of, like, the food hitting certain parts of their throat.

[Kale]

But that can also happen with purees, too.

[Becky]

Yeah, 100%. But he learned that when something touches, touches, like A part of his throat. He automatically does it and sometimes it's fake. So he'll do it with a pure. Like a little bit of puree. And then like he'll fake cough and gag and it. I'm just like, what the. Like. You're such a faker. What are you doing? But yeah, he like chew so well he'll. He like acted. You could watch him chewing on. Oh, he's so cute.

[Kale]

I love that.

[Becky]

Yeah. So you weren't here last week and you weren't there to help me defend us.

[Kale]

Us. Okay, I don't know where this is going. So I'm just. I'm kind of taken aback a little.

[Becky]

Cuz when we. I recorded with Tracy and Jess.

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah, of course. But like defend us how?

[Becky]

If we've dated or not.

[Kale]

We did. Don't you remember when we went to Bacon Fest and we were making out a drinkies?

[Becky]

Are you searching your memory bank? I'm trying to think of what year it was that we were at Bacon Fest.

[Kale]

2008.

[Becky]

2018.

[Kale]

That's not when we made out, by the way. I'm unsure.

[Becky]

July is going to be mine and Leah's 10 year anniversary and so let's think about when 2018 was.

[Kale]

Decade.

[Becky]

Yes.

[Rebecca]

That's crazy.

[Kale]

I met Leah at the Philadelphia Zoo.

[Becky]

That was so long ago.

[Kale]

In2016. I was pregnant with Lux.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And we took Elliot and Lincoln to the zoo and that is where I met Leah for the first time.

[Becky]

Yeah. Wow. She was 21. She had just turned 21.

[Kale]

Just a baby. I was 25.

[Becky]

Yeah. Crazy. 10 years is a long ass time.

[Kale]

Were you embarrassed or like nervous about her meeting me at all?

[Becky]

No.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Why would I be embarrassed?

[Kale]

You know how like you have certain friends. Well, maybe you don't, but like maybe you don't want to introduce your partner or you're like apprehensive or you're like nervous about certain people that like you're going to introduce other people to.

[Becky]

Doesn't sound like a good friend to me.

[Kale]

Well, no, just like. Because like you never know what's going to come out of their mouth. Or maybe they're like you have to

[Becky]

like warn the person. Like hey, this person's a little unhinged.

[Kale]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Becky]

Do you do that for me?

[Kale]

No, but I would imagine people do that about me.

[Becky]

No, cuz you're really good in. In front of people.

[Kale]

Okay. So I'm on my best behavior.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Thank you, Susie.

[Becky]

I don't know if she's to think I just felt Overwhelmingly hungry.

[Kale]

Yeah, same. I'm. Should we go out and make a mud pie?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

All right. So we're going to read an. Is it karma or is it chaos? And then we're going to film us e. Lunch for a mukbang.

[Becky]

We're. We're gonna film us eating lunch. I want to know what the psychology. I can't scroll away from people eating, and I hate it.

[Kale]

I hate watching it.

[Becky]

I hate watching it, but I cannot scroll. There's this one guy, and this is gonna sound. And I hope this doesn't sound insensitive. There is this one guy. There's something going on. I don't know if I don't know

[Kale]

what his diagnosis is. Diagnosis is okay, but, like, are we okay?

[Becky]

And he's like, it annoys me so much. But I constantly watch his videos.

[Kale]

A mukbang, for those of you guys, it's when you. You film yourself eating lots of food. And the people love when they're the

[Rebecca]

chicken, apple, sausage girl that eats her

[Becky]

plate of, like, chicken apple sausage with.

[Kale]

What is chicken, apple, sausage?

[Becky]

It's sausage made of, like, chicken and apple instead of, like, actual sausage.

[Kale]

Do you remember when I did the McDonald's mukbang because McDonald's sponsored us?

[Becky]

I do remember.

[Kale]

Yeah. I. Maybe that. Because that one did really well. It performed really well. Maybe I need to do more mukbangs.

[Rebecca]

You have to, but it's exaggerate.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

So I love an Auntie Amanda on Tick Tock where she talks and she does it and she eats the weirdest combinations. But I. She's the only mukbanger that I like. I don't watch any other mukbangers. I don't watch anything.

[Rebecca]

So mukbanging, it became popular in Asia. And so it first started as people eating on camera so that people who either had, like, eating disorders or were eating alone had somebody to eat with. Like, well, if they're watching somebody else eat and you're eating, it sometimes makes it a little easier to. To eat. Right?

[Kale]

Really? Yeah.

[Rebecca]

So then it, like, develops from there. Like, you know what ASMR is, right? So it's similar to that, where people enjoy the sounds, like the exaggerated sounds of chewing and it's like a mental thing, like, in their brain and all

[Kale]

that stuff makes me hungry.

[Rebecca]

Some people like women, like that woman you were talking about, men. There's a feeder community. It's called love that. They love watching women eat. They love the sound that women make when they eat, and they love when women gain weight. It's like a sexual thing too, to them.

[Kale]

I'm not interested in that.

[Becky]

But I just feel like every man needs to go through testing to allow to walk freely in this world. You know?

[Kale]

You know what? Men should start in prison.

[Becky]

No.

[Rebecca]

They should start underground.

[Kale]

Many. And they should dig their way out into society to prove their worthiness.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

My son's included.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Wow. Do you know what I mean? Like, we. You need to prove that you're.

[Becky]

How, how, how, how long like we've let men try to run the world. It doesn't work and it's just not working.

[Kale]

But also, like, how many women do you know that are obsessed with like feeding men and getting them to gain weight? None. Like, that is a sick thing for men. Men are also typically the, the children.

[Becky]

Spit it out, dude.

[Rebecca]

Pedophiles.

[Kale]

Men are typically. I'm not saying that there are no women like that, but it's just more like. It sounds like men are more just like innately corrupt and disgusting. So like disgusting. Let's just like give birth to them in the dirt and see if they can claw their way out, you know?

[Rebecca]

I agree. I'm a Misandra.

[Kale]

Feed them a mud pie and if they survive, they're worthy.

[Becky]

Ike's like, what?

[Kale]

What the. Based on what I just said about men more so being pedophiles, men more so being predators in general, men more so they don't, they don't have impulse control. Generally speaking.

[Becky]

We're talking child predators, rapists, you guys

[Kale]

don't have impulse control. So when you're talking about women not being calm or not, or we're only having one. We're fighting through that one good week. Or sorry, we're fighting through those three weeks that are not really emotional awareness. Men compartmentalize. They're not in tune with their feelings. They don't always think logically. They think with their dicks. They think with like whatever compartment they have decided to dial that specific thing away in. Like there is no way let's get into. And I think, okay for. Is it karma or is it chaos? Hi, Kaylin. Becky. Just listening to the pod about college on the subway home from work. I'm a 27 year old gay guy from a small suburb outside of Philly. I moved to New York City to go to FIT. Oh, FIT. I moved to New York City to go to FIT when I was 18 and it was the best decision I ever made. I went from being the only gay kid in my grade to being in a classroom filled with gay people. FIT was not the Typical college experience. No frats or sororities, but the bars and clubs were 100 times more lit. Anyways, we were basically adults right away. I did not know a soul in New York City when I moved here, but I'm still best friends with the guys I met my freshman year. Growing up gay in a small town was isolating, sad and depressing. And I think going to college in the gayest city in the world truly saved my life. Highly recommend. If you have any questions about dorming or apartments, let me know. Love you. I love that that was real. I'm gonna send this to Elliot, but FIT is at the Fashion Institute.

[Becky]

Food it is. My eyes got wet when you were reading it because I like it's just life saving for people. That's why when we had the conversation about Elliot and college, it was like for queer people, it's different. Like the reasons behind you going to college is different. And there's probably similarities for other, like, even. Even kids that aren't queer and don't feel like they fit in in nature, in their small town, in their school, they might not have friends. Like college is this experience for kids to not like become a new person, be who they want to be without like shame or any like. So yeah, thanks for submitting. That was beautiful. I think it just shows, like, right. Like he said, he said is like life. Like that saved his life.

[Kale]

I. I want that for Elliot. Like he's happy and he's confident in who he is, but I want that for him. I want him to experience. Experience cities and, and. And different experiences where there are other queer people and other gay people. Because right now where he's at, yeah, there might be one or two, but

[Becky]

maybe it's not the whole thing of it too.

[Kale]

Like one time we went to Philadelphia and there was like an area of Philly that has like the rainbows on the road and the rainbows on the sidewalks and things like that. And it just, it reminded me that there are safe places and safe people for Elliot to resonate with and really have commonalities outside of just the straight area that we live. Because it is mostly straight here. Not a huge gate. So. But yeah, anyways, that was really nice. Thank you for submitting that and I love that.

[Becky]

And if you would like to submit, submit it to karma and chaos or just karma. Karma chaos@killer entertainment.com killer without the e.

[Rebecca]

And please don't forget to join patreon.com kalery to watch all the full video videos. Please rate us on all of the apps. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, make sure you subscribe and download so that you get notifications and all of the episodes straight to your phone every single Tuesday morning.

[Kale]

Also, if you ever have Q&As that you want to ask us, feel free to put them in the reviews as well. Because the reviews we will always see right at the top. So if you put a question in there, we'll be sure to check it out and read them on the pod.

[Becky]

Hell yeah brother.

[Kale]

See ya.

[Becky]

Hope you guys have an amazing day. Love you. Bye.

[Kale]

See ya.

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[Lauren or Chandler]

Hi, I'm Lauren and I'm Chasing Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist Podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real Housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for Pop Apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb Pop.

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