B (2:50)

Yeah. So my friend Taylor, I went to college with Taylor. She has been helping support her community in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, specifically around foster children and, and kids who unfortunately are like underprivileged. And throughout the year we'll do events and all these things. Her main, the main event that she does though is a Christmas breakfast. And so the Christmas breakfast is built around giving foster children an experience with Santa. There's a breakfast, there's presents, and then each kid is sponsored by someone. So they'll go home, the foster parents or their guardians will go home with all of their wish list of toys for Christmas. So they'll take them and be able, they'll be able to have presents for, for Christmas that year. I think There was over 300 kids this year that she sponsored, which is just like absolutely insane. The event gets bigger and bigger every year, which is also unfortunate. Right? Like there's more and more kids in the system that. That needs help. It's beautiful. It's so well put together. It's so organized. This year she had Sydney Brown from the Eagles come by, which was like a huge surprise to a lot of people. The non profit world is like wild because she's still in that place where it's not her full time job. And so she puts so much effort into this program and into Dream Drive and helping kids. And it's a lot. It's like, you know, it's. You have to have. Be a certain type of person to be able to give that much. And like, I don't know, I. Every year that I go, I. This year was different emotionally for me because. Just because I'm like an empathetic person, person in general. Every year has always just like brought its heaviness and weight. This year was different because like, as a parent now, you, you are seeing these people and there was like, there's a lot of kids with special needs who like, like, you know, and so it's just so heartbreaking to be like a parent in that position now and seeing these kids. I was like helping this one person who is a guardian of these two girls. And like the one sister was having a meltdown. So I was like trying to keep the other sister there and she was just overwhelmed. She was like, thank you. And I just wanted to like cry like Don't. You don't have to thank me. Like, I'm just trying to help. It was interesting, though. I. I was talking to Lux and I was like, lux, do you understand what, like, the foster care system is? And he said no. And so I tried to explain it to him the best that I could. I don't know if he, like, consumed it or not, but I did try to explain it to him.

A (5:42)

Lux is at the age where you can literally see the gears turning in his head when he's trying to figure things out. On. I believe it was Friday. I believe it was Friday. Lux and Creed both had soccer games, and they were two hours apart, but at the same location. So Creeds was at like 5:45 to 6:45. And then Lux's game didn't start until like 8:30, so we went to go eat in between. So for the first time, he saw at this spot, there was someone who. I mean, can't tell if it was drugs or if it was mental illness, but he saw someone for the first time having an episode and was so upset and trying to explain this. And the craziest thing was that he was like, does your mom look like that? Did he tell you he said that?

B (6:41)

Yeah.

A (6:43)

And then 20 minutes later, Creed comes up to me and he goes, is that what your mom looks like? And I lost it because I was like, how do you answer? Like, drugs looks different on everyone, but also. So this mental illness. And so it was very hard, but, like, he was very upset and distraught by that. So it would not surprise me if you trying to explain to him what the foster system was, if he was also upset, but, like, sort of didn't understand.

B (7:17)

There was a scenario that happened where there was a kid who went on stage and like, was being a little bit distrust. Like, there's sand is on stage. That's where we take pictures. There's over. Like, there's a lot of people at this event.

A (7:32)

And. And for anyone listening, the reason why I couldn't go was because I did not have someone to help me with the babies. And so I had all three babies home. And that's not something that I would not have been able to drive two hours with the babies and then be there and participate. So that's the reason why I wasn't there.

B (7:49)

So Elliot and Lux helped with or like, orchestrating the people taking pictures of Santa. So, like, Elliot would send them through and then Lux would be on this other side to show them where the exit was. So this kid came up on stage and was behind all the setup and being disruptive. He was non verbal and, like, so you couldn't really talk to him. And Lux, you could see he was so confused because he kept trying to go over to him to tell him, like, you can't be back there. So I like, I, I like, went up there and was like, hey, like, just let you know this is the, this is the situation. Which, yeah, because I, like, you could tell he was confused. He was like, he didn't really understand what was going on.

A (8:36)

How did he react when you told him?

B (8:38)

He, it seemed like it made him at ease. Like, not like he. There was a reason behind it. Like, it wasn't just like someone not listening.

A (8:49)

Which is so funny because Lux will sometimes just not listen. But he seems to be very affected by other people doing it. And it's like, sir pot, meat, kettle. Yeah, but that's really interesting. I mean, I feel like, if nothing else, like, even if he doesn't understand it right now, he will understand it in years to come. And so I think for that I, like, appreciate the opportunity and the experience for him to actually have a part in it, because he will at some point be like, oh, that's what that was, you know, And I just, I know that Lincoln wished that he could be there. And he, he was the one that asked me to do it again this year because he did it with you last year. But the way I didn't get to listen to 4th Wings, I didn't end up going because he ended up having the flu. And then Javi emailed me and was like, hey, if Lincoln is up for it, my grant, my dad is coming from Delaware to Virginia. If Lincoln wants to just tag along with him. So then it ended up working out for him to go with his dad. And I wasn't going him.

B (9:48)

No.

A (9:48)

And so it was like, a really tough situation. But I'm glad that Lux got to go to sort of experience it, because my kids have no idea. Like, they don't even know how lucky they are. So we live in an age of unprecedented access to information, innovation, and opportunity. But also one of the environmental and societal stressors that our biology was never designed for. From microplastics to chronic digital exposure, endocrine disruptors to industrialized food, modern life is hijacking our health at a cellular. Today's environment is filled with toxins. We're talking about immune disruptors. And if you want to nourish your microbiome and strengthen your barriers to support your immune health, then this is perfect for you because it also is fortified gut health. You can ease the occasional bloating and feel lighter. Probiotics are toted as gut health solutions, but they only address one part of the four part gut wall and armor. Colostrum naturally fortifies your entire gut wall system. Arm raw Colostrum is nature's original superfood. The Colostrum is packed with over 400 bioactive nutrients that promot body's resilience from the inside out, strengthening immune health, fortifying gut health and fueling performance so you can stay sharp, strong and at your best in a world that demands it. And we've worked out a special offer for our audience. Receive 30% off your first subscription order. Go to armra.com chaos Enter chaos for 30% off your first subscription order. That's ar.com chaos.

B (11:20)

You forget too, right? Like you for I live in such a bubble and we all live in such bubbles. Like, we are so desensitized by things on our phone because we see so many things on our phone. Like, we see such violent things, we see such, like, disruptive things. We see everything on our phone. So we're so desensitized by. And like, I know I struggle often with it too, which is why I like to do things like this and volunteer not only for this, but I volunteer quite a bit for non profits in general because it just like, you need to like, have some sort of reminder of just like what life is like out there.

A (12:00)

Absolutely, absolutely. It's like I, and I talk about this all the time. I don't mean to like always repeat myself, but it's hard because there's a fine line between spoiling my kids but also teaching them, like, yeah, how they're so privileged and so lucky enough, understand the struggle. And like, obviously I don't want them to struggle like me, but I also think it taught, it taught me so much resilience and everything else. But. And then I like listened to this one podcast and I also heard another clip on like Tick Tock maybe and it was like, why wouldn't I get my kids everything that they want?

B (12:39)

Exactly.

A (12:39)

Yeah. And so it's like this weird fine line because, like, I don't want them to be entitled. I also want to teach them grit and character and all of the things. But it's like, where, where is the line?

B (12:50)

Yeah, but you work so hard to make sure your kids don't go through what you went through. Like, why wouldn't you not want them to have those? Like, why would you want them to have Those barriers. Because there's still things in life they're gonna have to deal with getting through school. Like, you can't just give them schooling. Like, they're gonna have to work hard to get through, like, through school. You can't just give them an athletic ability. Yeah. There's privilege behind, like, what? You can get them to become better athletes. But, like, they still have. It's their own hard work that is going to get them through it. I really. I think volunteering and, like, doing things that bring awareness to, like, what other kids, you know, might deal with and just be, like, having conversations is what's important. Right. Like, you don't ever want. I wouldn't. And from, Like, I would never want my kid to walk in a room where there's someone in a wheelchair, someone, you know, who might be, like, have, like, physical disability or emotional disability or whatever it is, and then not be able to, like, associate it. Right. Like. Like, perfect. Like, Lux doing this. He's at the perfect age to start learning, like, and associating those things. So, you know, if he's ever in a situation, he isn't, he's going to have empathy because he has seen it before. It's so just like. And there's so many types of volunteer opportunities out there.

A (14:16)

Agreed.

B (14:16)

Yeah.

A (14:18)

In other news, how else was your weekend besides the dream drive?

B (14:22)

It was good. Oh, we got our Christmas tree this weekend. That was a lot of fun. We went. Bex came with. What else did I do last week? I went to a work event and I went to Per Se.

A (14:35)

What? The pictures were so good, dude.

B (14:37)

I went to Purse New York, and apparently it's, like, really hard to get into. It's super bougie place. Like, really expensive. I went there for a work event, did not pay. The food was insane. Like, it looked insane. I'm a picky eater, and, like, I know that, but there is no other place to try.

A (15:00)

You are not a picky eater. For anyone listening to this podcast, what you guys think is a picky eater is not Rebecca here. You're right.

B (15:09)

I have gotten better. Like, I don't like cucumbers. I don't like tomatoes. I don't like onions, like peppers. I'm not, like, really big fan of what?

A (15:22)

That's not picky. Okay. That's okay. I don't eat food. I don't eat lettuce, tomato, onions, pepper. I don't eat anything.

B (15:29)

You literally, if you ever have a chance to go to a fine dining experience, I know that that's a. A Privileged thing to say. There's no better place to try like food, like unique food. Like any type of pate or like what?

A (15:48)

What? Like pate.

B (15:51)

It's like. How do you explain it looks like cat food? Like, not the, like the brick cat food.

A (16:02)

The wet cat food.

B (16:04)

Let me how to explain pate to a child. It's a soft, spreadable food, kind of like meat, butter.

A (16:18)

I had chicken liver spread on bread once.

B (16:21)

Yeah, that's a pate.

A (16:23)

That's disgusting.

B (16:30)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (16:31)

No, but like putting food into a paste is disgusting is what I meant.

B (16:35)

My Sam said, if you want, tell me roughly how old the child is and I can tell it exactly 33. 33. And they had like a caviar with oysters that I don't. I'm not an oysters fan. I typically don't like really fishy things. But when you go to these places, you have to try things. Right? Like you're being presented. It's like the meat, like you're not picking your meal. It's already. I said, anyway, it's a curated for you. And there was like a wine for each dish. It was such a fucking cool experience. We'll have to go. We have. We'll have to go. There's a unique farm to table experience. Who near here, near my house that has like similar foods. And I love going. Four people is a great amount of people to go with because you can like order everything and everyone can just like share and try everything.

A (17:34)

That's what we did. There was four of us and we went to Alessandra Madison, who works for Killer Network, me and one other person, Ike, and we went to this place in New York City and that's sort of what we did. We tried escargot and caviar and like weird shit. And it's. I had already had some of the items, but escargot was not my favorite. It at all. Went for the experience. Want to be able to talk about it? Not something I would eat on a regular basis.

B (18:04)

Yeah, that's like, it's not stuff you'd eat every day, you know?

A (18:09)

Yeah. Like I had chicken liver, the pate or whatever in Europe because I went to Europe, not because I wanted to try chicken liver.

B (18:17)

Yeah, like you would try like crocodile. Oh, you know, you actually, you didn't.

A (18:25)

We went to New Orleans actually. This is the one year anniversary of when we went to New Orleans, which is wild. You were there for like with your family. I was there.

B (18:36)

21St birthday.

A (18:38)

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Your. Your niece's 21st birthday and I was there for work. And I am so sad that I didn't get to spend more time there. And I want to go back so bad.

B (18:49)

Let me know.

A (18:50)

I also have been. I don't know if my phone was listening when we talked about Japan. Everything on my phone now is related to Japan. And I'm so excited to book Japan. And I'm not telling Elliot I'm just gonna book it.

B (19:03)

Hopefully he doesn't listen to this.

A (19:04)

He won't.

B (19:08)

To wrap up on my weekend, I. It has snowed a lot, and so I fell shoveling. I fell down my walkway.

A (19:18)

You okay?

B (19:19)

Yeah. I almost put my. My tooth through my lip, which was fun. But I decided to. I wanted to have a fire. I wanted to make sure I could have a fire this week. I have a fireplace in my house, and I forgot I had to take off the COVID that's on the roof. So I was like, I'll just climb up there. I climbed up on the roof and I got up and then I went to try to get back down, and it was. There was too much snow. Like, I was gonna fly off the roof trying to get back down. And I was like, huh, I'm pretty stuck. And then I remembered I have, like, that thing that hangs over my garage. That's the pergola looking thing. I mean, over the front of the house. I was like, oh, I'll walk to that side of the roof because I can hang on to that walking down. So I like, hung on that walking down, and I had to, like, swing, like jungle gym down. And like. So you're targeting. And when I. When I landed, my feet slipped, and if I didn't have that, my grip, I would have really hurt myself. It's on camera. I can send you the video of it.

A (20:30)

Okay, so for social media purposes only, I need the video, and I also need an AI rendering of you swinging from a pergola. And that is the carousel for social media. Okay? Nothing else about this episode matters. I. Becky, as Tarzan, swinging from a pergola is sending me to the moon.

B (20:54)

I said it to my friend Amanda, and she was like, becky, why are you. Why do you think? You're 20. Like, what the are you doing?

A (21:01)

You have a son to live for, and you're swinging from per.

B (21:07)

Oh, God. It's not. It's not that bad. I'll send you the video.

A (21:12)

I. I need to see this, and I also need you to put it on tik tok. Becky, why. Why are you in shorts? I don't know like you know. You can ask like you can hire someone to come do.

B (21:43)

I've been hiring. I went over budget on my build above the garage. I can't hire people.

A (21:48)

It looks so good.

B (21:49)

It does look so good. I need to start editing content for that.

A (21:56)

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B (24:11)

There was something. Oh. So Lee and I were sitting on the couch last night, and she was like, oh, I need to go through my Spotify wrapped. And she starts, like, going through. And she was like, look. And it was like, number one podcast, and it's karma and chaos. She's saying it like, leah doesn't listen to podcasts. And I. And I look at her, I look at it.

A (24:34)

She.

B (24:34)

And I was like. And she was like, what? I was like, look how many minutes you listened. It's a 118 minutes, which is like an episode and a half. She was like, well, it would have been worse if it was another podcast there.

A (24:59)

She's trying, okay.

B (25:00)

I was like, you don't want me to be successful in life, do you?

A (25:03)

She doesn't want to listen to you on a podcast when she listens to you every day?

B (25:08)

No. Could you imagine she would be so sick and tired of me if she listened to this?

A (25:13)

You know what's so funny is, like, my partners have never listened to my podcast, but all my exes listen to it. It's like, thanks.

B (25:21)

Speaking of exes. Oh, I've been really. You know, it's such an interesting. I think I've talked about this before. It's such an interesting place to be knowing you because, like, your will pop up on, like, tabloid stuff will pop up on my social media, and I'll start reading the comments. And it takes, like, a lot for me to, like, not interject myself into the comments.

A (25:46)

My favorite is. And you guys have all heard me say this before, like, the misconceptions and the rumors that are literally commented as fact. And it's like, I call myself out when I'm reading comments that are, like, seeing videos that they pop up on my stuff too, which is so awkward because I'm like, oh, great, what are they saying about me now? And some of this stuff is completely false, and I know I'm not perfect, and I'll say what I do wrong. It's infuriating because I Then I go down the rabbit hole of commenting, and then people will respond to me, and then it's just this Whole thing. And I'm trying.

B (26:25)

Why did I even comment? Yeah, I get it. Speaking of making comments, I've texted you a bunch in the past couple of days in the past, like, maybe two weeks. And you'd, like, just ignore me and then just, like, say something.

A (26:42)

I'm, like, looking, and I have responded to every single text I got.

B (26:47)

No, you haven't.

A (26:49)

Yeah, I have.

B (26:50)

Are you stupid? Yeah, no, it looks like, but you ignore. No, look, I sent this picture yesterday. No response. Sent this picture the day before. No response. Sent this text the day before. No response. Let me see. Where else. Maybe that was just it. Did you even look at anything?

A (27:26)

Okay, so Thursday and yesterday. Two days, Thursday and yesterday. But everything else is responded to, so saying I haven't responded in two weeks is insane.

B (27:37)

It feels like a lifetime.

A (27:40)

Rebecca hater, please be so.

B (27:42)

Look how cute this picture is.

A (27:44)

But is that real or is that AI?

B (27:45)

It's real.

A (27:47)

I didn't know that's real. Are you lying?

B (27:51)

I'm gonna go to my photos.

A (27:55)

Or. Where are you framing that?

B (27:56)

Look, it's him. You see them all?

A (27:59)

Yeah. Or where are you. Where are you framing it?

B (28:02)

I don't know. It's so cute, right?

A (28:04)

Get mix tiles. Use my code. Get mix tiles.

B (28:08)

I did order the book I made for my sister.

A (28:10)

I ordered off tiles, but not with my code.

B (28:13)

No.

A (28:14)

That sucks. You don't support me. You don't want me to succeed.

B (28:19)

I'm here, aren't I?

A (28:20)

But you don't want me to. Hey, never gonna book.

B (28:24)

We become friends, and then it's like, hey, this might be crazy. Do you want to start a podcast with me?

A (28:31)

Like, I don't understand why you wouldn't use my code, Rebecca.

B (28:34)

Because they gave me 50% off for, like, signing up. Is your code 50% off?

A (28:41)

No, but. Okay, still could have used my code.

B (28:43)

I don't think you can use two codes.

A (28:46)

Well, that's up, because they're never going to book with me again, and it's your fault.

B (28:54)

I. I don't believe that to be true. I don't think it's my fault.

A (29:03)

You're right. All right, stop talking about this. We need to work on this after the podcast. I don't want people to know our secrets. I. I have to tell you about something. That's. Some people like when we talk about books, and I get mixed. I get mixed reviews on when we talk about books versus when we don't. So I want to keep this short and sweet. Every so often, I will get on the TikTok app or Instagram or even on this podcast and say I'm no longer taking recommendations from Book Talk because they always are horrible. And I'm back to that. I'm here to say I'm no longer taking recommendations from BookTok because y' all waste my time with these dumbass books. And I'm pissed off because this I don't dnf. I never dnf. I never have, I never will. And let me not say I never will. I. I never have and I don't plan to. And the book that I'm reading is 450 pages and it's just not. It. It's not my style, not my genre. I've read this author before. I loved it in the beginning of my reading journey. Don't love it. I am so mad at everyone that recommended this book. I'm. And I know it's subjective, so it's like one of those things where it's like. But I was. So many people recommended it that I was like. And I'm not here to on the author, so I'm not going to say what it is. But it's a slow burn that I don't want to feel anymore.

B (30:26)

How far. How much longer do you have to read?

A (30:29)

I'm halfway through.

B (30:33)

Yeah, you gotta push through.

A (30:35)

That is why your text went unresponded to yesterday. Because I spent the. The babies went to Elijah at like 9 or 10 and I read the rest of the entire day on and off between like we cleaned, I had to repot some plants, I had to do a couple things and then I would read and then I would do this and then I would read and then I would. And I'm. I'm pissed.

B (30:57)

What is the, what is the genre of the book?

A (31:01)

Romance. Oh, where is the line for helping those in need? Right. Like barely famous podcast as a. I do five thousand dollar giveaway every single year. I've done it for four or five years now. I do angel tree fulfillment. I don't always post about it. I do a lot of donations throughout the year. But people ask me for money every single day. Every single day. They either boldly request directly on Cash app or Venmo or they'll send me DMs. And I just don't know.

B (31:37)

Like, I think this is a great conversation.

A (31:41)

Do you? Because I'm nervous to talk about it.

B (31:43)

No, because I also get requested for money. I would, I wouldn't say every day, but I would say every couple days. Like someone sends me something like weekly. Yeah. For sure, weekly. And it puts me in a really uncomfortable because when I first started getting them I used to send money on like go funds, go fund me and stuff. And like I just, I can't do that as often now just with life. But it put, it just feels. It puts me in a really bad position. But then I also like I've shared people's goat fund me publicly. But I think that that's the difference, right? Like sharing something where it's someone's free will to do it, right? Like if I share something on my story, like if you have the means at that time. But it makes me really uncomfortable when people DM me for money and they, and like they tell me like, but like I also, if. But like, I don't know because like if I was in that situation where if it was life or death, like I would also be dming people for money. But like, I don't know, I'm just.

A (32:47)

In a really weird place too. Like someone just requested money from me and it's like occasionally I will send it, but a lot of times I don't because I'm doing a lot of give back throughout the year. And I also like do the give back for Christmas and I do donations and things like that. I don't know. And it's really, it's hard because it's like I helped every single person that asked me directly for money. I would have nothing left for my own family. And it's like, it's frustrating because like I want, want. I want to help everybody, right? Like I want to but you know.

B (33:24)

Maybe, maybe you should start a non profit.

A (33:27)

Yeah, I don't even know where I would start. Like I earlier this year helped someone. I put $3,000 towards their car. And it's like I do it because I want to do it, but then it makes it really, really hard. It just is so hard on me. Maybe it's just the guilt, like it's not their fault. But for me it's like where is the line? Like how do I know who to help, when to help, what to help and how much is too much?

B (33:52)

No, it makes complete sense. I think it's a it. Like I don't know the answer because like I can under. I feel bad. Like, because most of the time the messages come with like an explanation and they're like, I can't feed my kids tonight or I can't but. And then I'm just like, like I want to help but like where is that line of being able to help that's why I'm like, oh, maybe you start a non profit that has a fund that you like collect money and then people can submit to, like pull funds from it, but or something. I don't know.

A (34:23)

It's hard. Ideas, please let us know because if the more people I can help, the happier everyone will be. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining. I want to help these people.

B (34:37)

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know the whole new year, new me thing? Yep. I'm not doing that this year. I've decided I don't need a new me. I just want a lighter me. A more intentional me. Like emotionally, mentally. I want to start the year without dragging all of my old fears and perfectionism behind me, like a busted carry on. And honestly, that's what therapy is helping me work through. For me, it's always been this underlying pressure to get everything just right and spoiler alert, that's exhausting. But having a therapist to talk to, someone who isn't in my everyday life and can offer real, unbiased insight, makes it easier to spot the stuff that's weighing me down and actually start to let it go. Better Help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. You just need to fill out a short questionnaire and they handle the match for you, which I love. Because decision fatigue is real, and if it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime. With over 30,000 therapists and 5 million people served, Better Help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. And it shows sessions average 4.9 stars for over 1.7 million reviews. That is wild. If you've been thinking about therapy or if you're just feeling heavy from the holidays and want to start the year right and with less weight on your shoulders, this is your sign. Better Help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10 off betterhelp.com karma. That is betterhelp.com karma. I don't know if you've experienced this, but I've definitely helped some people out that I don't know. Right. Like, it's literally just from being in your shadows. So essentially this is your fault. And then because I've helped them, they now have access to me. And then it's like, hey, I know you helped before. Like, I'm really sorry to ask again. And then I'm like, like, then I feel even worse.

A (36:43)

Yeah.

B (36:45)

So I don't know if there's an answer and I take it. Like, I Don't know what I. Like, I've never been in a situation where I didn't have access to funds. I needed for something to keep myself alive or to keep my kids alive or to keep my kids fed. So, like, I don't know what I would do. Like, I probably would do the same thing. So I kind of take back, like, I would never do DM someone. But maybe if someone can just let us know that, like, if we don't answer, like, you don't hate us because of it, you know?

A (37:15)

Yeah. Please don't hate us because we want to help. We just. If we help everybody that asks.

B (37:20)

Yeah, it's like finding a balance of things. Ugh. I'm getting, like, anxious even thinking about it, you know? Anywho, speaking of money, someone, I. I think they deleted their post because they started getting on too much. In our Facebook group, someone. Someone had posted something along the lines of, like, her husband makes 180k a year. She edited it too late after she said she only meant to put 80k, not 180k, and that they're struggling living paycheck to paycheck. And like, like she was essentially asking what other people made and if they also were living paycheck to paycheck. And it got me thinking.

A (38:07)

Time out. Let me stop you right there, because I did see this post. I did not read it. I. It sounds familiar. So I know I saw it when I was, like, skimming. Do they have children?

B (38:17)

I think so. Yeah.

A (38:19)

And it's just one.

B (38:21)

They deleted it. So, like, I can't, like, refine it.

A (38:24)

One income of 80,000 for, like, an entire family. Yeah, okay.

B (38:28)

Yeah. But the initial post said one income of 180 for a family. And people were like, this is so insensitive. Like, that's so much money you have. You're so out of touch with reality. And I just want to talk about this because I think, and this is my personal opinion, I think people don't necessarily understand that, like, living paycheck to paycheck isn't about money. It's about people's spending habits. And when you are someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, the more you make, the more you continue to live paycheck to paycheck if you don't control your spending.

A (39:11)

I've learned living above your means.

B (39:13)

People live above their paycheck to paycheck. Essentially, like, my whole life, like, of. And like, I make a good, like a good amount of money. Leah makes a good amount of money. Our household Income is. We're like. But like, we still like live that. Like, we don't. But like, we do. Like, we put money into our. Like we have savings and stuff, but. Well, anyway. And it's just like, I forget how because when I was making $50,000 a year or $40,000 a year, in my mind, it was like, oh, I'll stop living page to paycheck when I make 100k a year. Right?

A (39:55)

But with every raise or yeah, I make and then salary, you will spend more. So you're basically. So you're living above your means. Essentially 100.

B (40:06)

Yeah, but I'm not. I'm not in debt. I'm just spending what I'm. I used to.

A (40:12)

Right.

B (40:13)

In the past two years, I've really, I really like done what I can to control my spending, control my finances, and I have been doing so freaking well. But I'm. The reason I'm saying it is like, I. I don't think people can like, quite understand that. Like, you can think someone making 100k when you live in that world, in that realm, like, it is so hard to get out of that mentality. You bring. You bring home an extra thousand dollars a month and that just goes like. So I felt bad because they started on this person. I'm like, I was like, I don't know. Like, then make. Even if, Even if it was at 180k, it makes sense that they were living paycheck to paycheck to me. Because you spend what you make.

A (41:02)

I don't. That is a tough conversation for me to have. I have a financial advisor. His name is Chris, and I've worked with him for several years now. I've had finance meetings, had one sort of recently. And. And I tend to agree with you. And Ike is here shaking his head no. And I would argue that Kristen and my executive assistant Rebecca would argue that it shouldn't be that way. But I'm just wondering where would those funds go if they didn't get spent? Right? Because I have. X amount goes to my savings, which is a privilege in and of itself. Right. That I have a savings account, but they have gotten on to me about it, that my spending is out of control and this, that, and the third. But it's like, okay, but it.

B (41:50)

Exactly. I. No words needed. Exactly what?

A (41:55)

Like, I don't understand. Like, what. I don't. So what, we're just making all this money, making all this money and then it's not going anywhere. It's just going to stay in the bank account? It's not going to go anywhere else. Sounds good. In theory, it sounds great. But like, then what? I guess we're all out of touch and everything.

B (42:19)

This is what I mean. It, it starts out with how we handle money. Like, it's, it's a learned behavior. You make someone making a lot of money and like just saving it all. That's a behavior that's, it has nothing to do with the amount of money that's coming in. Like, it's, it's you and how you manage your finances.

A (42:39)

And like, I just have a question for people who. Maybe this isn't for people who live paycheck to paycheck, right? But like, and I don't know how to word this without being insensitive because my entire TikTok feed right now is Jaclyn Hill, Avery woods and Michaela Naguera being out of touch. Right? Like, that is my entire. And Kylie Pitts. And it's like, I don't give a, like what people spend their money on, but genuinely would love to know. For people who are not necessarily like, they're, they're comfortable, they don't necessarily struggle. They have enough to cover their monthly debt, their credit card bills, whatever. They're sort of like comfortable, right? Like, what are we spending our money on? Like, what are we really? Like, are we over consuming? Are we. Because I do my best to not over consume beauty products and things like that. It's very hard because I'm like, oh, I'm going to just do the pan challenge and wait till everything runs out and then whatever. But like when it comes to my kids items, when it comes to like sports clothes, shoes, uniform, if they, if my kids ask for a clothing or shoe item, it is without a, without a doubt hand, hands down, I'm buying it because I have it. So I'm gonna buy it. But like, should I not be doing that? Is that like the way to like say, like, how do you. What, what do I do if I have an increase in pay? What do I do with that money? Then just say like, I don't. What is the alternative to spending it? I guess like just putting.

B (44:02)

I guess once you reach a point you should be saving to like just in case something happened and you.

A (44:07)

So my financial advisor and I understand that again, this is a privilege and.

B (44:11)

I'm three months of like, like to be able to cover your six months to cover your expenses or something.

A (44:17)

I have six months of an account worth of like.

B (44:22)

Yeah.

A (44:22)

To cover all my bills for six months. Right. And then I Have like a regular, like my investment account that I invest money or whatever. But, like, what is the solution?

B (44:33)

The solution is, listen to this. This is. Leah is. Leah spends money, doesn't know where it goes. Me, I spend money. I know where my money goes. I know I'm spending money. Yeah. So, like, she'll be like this. She gets paid once a month and it'll like start getting down to payday. And she's like, stressed, like she has no money left. I'm like, what do you. I'm like, what are you doing with it? Like, where's it going? She's like, I don't know. And then it's like, like Amazon all this stuff, like this, this, like dinner, like all these things. Her thing is if it's there, she's spending it. And so what I did was I put it to automatically withdraw a thousand dollars a month out of her account into a savings account. So when it comes, like, she's like, that's not there for her to spend, so she doesn't spend it.

A (45:30)

I love that.

B (45:31)

Automatic withdraws into a separate. Open up a high yield savings account. Everyone that's listening that is disconnected from your checking account, right? I have pnc, so my savings account is separate from pnc because I can't just transfer money in and out of my checking and savings from the same app. It makes it more complicated. I can't. Like, you don't want to be able to see it. Open up a separate savings account separately. So it. It's out there.

A (46:06)

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B (47:32)

And then if you want to go to the next step of investing, you should do that. Leah and I just opened up an investment account for Bex after doing much, much research on the account that's right for us. For him there was like a, there's a bunch of different options you can do for a kid. But this was the best option for us. We didn't want to limit it to like education. We didn't like a couple, a couple other things. So we opened up him up an investment account.

A (47:57)

I was just gonna ask if you considered life insurance.

B (48:01)

I have life. We both have life insurance through work.

A (48:03)

No, no, for Becks. Oh, that you can borrow against as when he turns 18 he can borrow against it. There's cash value ones, there's ones that pay out dividends. There's like for all seven of my kids to have life insurance is 1700 a year.

B (48:19)

I'll look into it.

A (48:20)

Yeah, for sure look into it. And the younger they are, the cheaper it is and obviously the more beneficial it can be. So know my younger kids will have more cash value over whatever period of time than like Elliot because obviously he was much older when I got it.

B (48:34)

But yeah, I should do that. Thank you for this.

A (48:37)

You absolutely should. And they can borrow against it. A lot of people don't know that certain life insurance like if you get it on your we'll say two year old kid and you're paying on it until they're 18 years old, 19 years old, 20. Obviously every policy is different. So check with your, check with your reps. But yeah, there is a cash value to some of them. Some of them pay dividends, some of them are really great. You can borrow against it to get a car, get a house for like a down payment for a house as an adult and then just look into it. But it is fairly inexpensive. Obviously I'm take that with a grain of salt because everybody's gonna look different. But for me, for seven kids, 1700 for the whole year made sense for us.

B (49:18)

Yes, great advice. We should bring my sister on sometime to.

A (49:21)

Yeah, I'm down. When.

B (49:23)

When. So we put in, we have automatic withdraw into this into the investment account that we open for him and when he turns 18 he will have access so he can like use it for school, use it for a wedding, use it for. To put a down payment on a house or a car. Not that he'll need it it do those things at 18 but that's when like we'll let him, we'll let him start having access to it and he doesn't because I looked up custodial accounts but like custodial accounts are interesting because they gain full access and you no longer have access. And I just don't think an 18 year old should getting. Should get access without it being like we will still control that money to like help him navigate. But I think that it's really cool to be able to do that for him so that when he turns 18, if or if he wants to go on like go backpacking for a year, like we'll be able to help fund that from. And then over holidays and birthdays if people give us money we can just put it into that account for him.

A (50:32)

That's something that's on my list for 2026 is going through my kids accounts to make sure that I have to check what their ages are of when they can where they have access to their money. Because to your point about 18 year olds having large su of cash, I did not want that for any of my children and it actually terrifies me to give them the access that they have to all of their funds. Obviously life insurance is different than their cash availability in their bank account and their investment accounts. But like I just want, if it's possible I would like to give them a monthly allow like a monthly allowance in their adult life.

B (51:07)

Yeah, that's a smart idea you. So if you're listening and you have any expert tips or tricks when it comes to saving for your kids, let us know. But I have officially paid off my car.

A (51:22)

Oh, that's exciting.

B (51:24)

This month.

A (51:25)

That's really exciting. Good for you.

B (51:27)

My only debt that I have left is my student loans.

A (51:31)

I know someone who owes like 2500 on student loans loans and they literally have given him the hardest time. You have to jump through a hundred hoops to just be able to pay off the balance.

B (51:44)

Yes.

A (51:45)

Yeah, they do not want you to pay off the balance because they want to accrue the interest over all these years.

B (51:51)

Yeah, it's It's a scam.

A (51:54)

That's insane.

B (51:56)

Yeah. So that's my next. That's my next payoff. I owe my mom a little bit of money, but that's no interest. So I borrowed money from my mom mom to renovate the house because we didn't take out a mortgage, so. And then I'm 20. The end of 2026, mark my words, I'll be debt free.

A (52:18)

Including student loans.

B (52:19)

Including student loans.

A (52:21)

You're gonna try to pay it off?

B (52:23)

I am. I'm gonna save. I'm gonna, like, put money away.

A (52:26)

Well, now that you're not paying a car payment.

B (52:28)

Yeah.

A (52:29)

That's good.

B (52:29)

Snowballing it. Yeah. Well, my car, I paid off so quickly because I just bought my car not that long ago is because I. I snowballed my personal loans and my credit card payment into that toward my car, but I've paid them all off. Now I'm putting it to a savings account, and then once I've reached the Mac, the amount to pay off my loans, I'm just gonna end of year.

A (52:55)

You know what's so interesting is I think we get the most feedback on the financial conversations. I think this specific episode is going to be a little bit controversial because people are going to argue that we're out of touch, obviously, but we do get the most feedback from our financial conversation. So I do think it would be a benefit to have your sister on at some point for just. I mean, even if it's you and her and I'm not a part of it or if it's all three of us, you know, contribute questions. Yeah, I could ask questions or we could ask people. I think that would be really, really helpful. A lot of people like these types of conversations because nobody. We all want to see each other be out of debt.

B (53:30)

So she. The reason I keep saying my. She's my financial advisor. Like, she. She runs mine and Leah's retirement accounts. She runs, like, what I should do. She does financial coaching. I don't know if she's taking on clients right now, but she's gotten some of the karmarus are her clients. Oh, you want to see something cute that I did?

A (53:53)

Yeah.

B (53:54)

My brother. My brother got engaged. And my brother's like a very unique person. He's like. He's like one of those guys that likes, like, anime video games, a little bit hipster y, Likes nature, all the things. So they got engaged and I took his engagement photos and I turned them into, like, anime style.

A (54:24)

Oh, that's so cute.

B (54:26)

And that's so cute.

A (54:28)

That is so cute. I love that. I love, I love that you're putting so much thought into each gift. Because they're actually, like I said. I know that we had an argument about gifts and stuff, but I'd rather like if you don't put a lot.

B (54:41)

Of thought, I can't wait for that episode to come out.

A (54:44)

No, because it's, it's. I don't want the junk. And I get it, it's the thought. But like, like, no. So I love that you're putting thought and effort and time into it, you know?

B (54:55)

Yeah.

A (54:56)

Okay. Well, we don't have an Is it karma or is it chaos?

B (54:59)

Today we do. She just texted it to us, so.

A (55:01)

Oh, okay. Anonymous submission for Is it karma or is it chaos? For years I have put my girls, now eight and two to bed in what I would consider the traditional fashion. We brush our teeth together, read books, say prayer, sing songs, hug, kiss good night. Recently my husband has decided that the kids cry less when they jump around and rush wrestle immediately before bed. Inevitably someone gets hurt and I can't stand limbs flying by my face. Tonight I tried to set a clear boundary for myself by saying I would do prayer songs, hugs and kisses, and if they wanted to swing from chandeliers, I'm leaving. Prior to that starting, I was told by my husband that I was being rude, his way is working well, etc. Etc. When it came time, he cued me to leave. Not even a minute later, he's yelling and swearing from the room because our two year old popped up from the crib and headbutted him in the eye and broke his glasses. So tell me, is that karma or is it chaos? No, that's pure chaos. And at the point that he's cussing and yelling no.

B (56:01)

I think it's karma.

A (56:05)

Karma for the husband.

B (56:06)

Yeah.

A (56:07)

Oh, okay. Fair, fair, fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I thought you meant karma for the wife and I was no, I think.

B (56:12)

It'S karma for the husband.

A (56:14)

Yeah, because he said that he wanted them to, you know, rough house before.

B (56:18)

Bed and he got the karma from the roughhousing.

A (56:23)

Here's an idea, a little mini solution possibility maybe offer that on Fridays when there's no school the next day. Because I don't know about anyone else but my kids having meltdowns before bed stresses me the out. Especially when they're school the next day because you never know if how long the crying or the tantrum was going to last. So for me, me, I'm recommending just doing that hold that off for, like, Fridays and Saturdays.

B (56:47)

Noted.

A (56:48)

Just saying. And on that note, you guys can get merch for karma and chaos at any point. They're online. We post about it on our socials. We tag it. In case you don't know, you can get it on on killer entertainment dot com. And we hope that we see everybody in their car. Tag us in your. In your merch.

B (57:09)

Tag us in your merch. We love you. We're happy you're here.

A (57:12)

You're here.

B (57:13)

And here's to a fantastic year.

A (57:16)

Execution is my word of 2026. Love, y'. All.

B (57:19)

Love. Yeah. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

A (57:40)

This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra.

B (57:43)

Free.

A (57:44)

This is the.

B (57:48)

With movies like Joe dirt, pixels, and 50 first dates. This is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV Stream Now Pay Never. You're welcome.

C (58:07)

Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist Podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a list of might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.