FOR THE HAYTERS S2E7 - Weight Loss is More Than A Physical Journey

Summary

Podcast Summary: "FOR THE HAYTERS S2E7 - Weight Loss is More Than A Physical Journey"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
• Host/Author: PodcastOne
• Description: Join Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter as these two rekindle their friendship and navigate the highs, lows, and hilarious in-betweens of life in their 30s. They’ll dive into the joys and challenges of raising families, staying true to friendships, and keeping up with pop culture—all while embracing the unpredictable mix of karma and chaos that life throws at them. With Kail’s unfiltered outlook and Becky’s infectious humor, Karma & Chaos is a refreshing, real, and relatable take on modern adulthood. New episodes every Tuesday!
• Episode: FOR THE HAYTERS S2E7 - Weight Loss is More Than A Physical Journey
• Release Date: February 24, 2025

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Introduction

In the seventh episode of Season 2, titled "Weight Loss is More Than A Physical Journey," hosts Becky Hayter and Laura welcome James, a guest who shares his deeply personal journey with weight loss. The episode delves into James's childhood experiences with weight, the emotional challenges he faced, and the steps he took to overcome his struggles.

Childhood Struggles and Early Experiences with Weight

James's Early Realizations: James opens up about his childhood, revealing that he was always overweight from a young age. He shares a poignant memory from elementary school during a mile run in gym class.

"I remember... running the dreaded mile run... my teacher had everyone wait and cheer me on, but instead of celebrating, it felt like they were pitying me. I cried hysterically. That was my first introduction to shame and embarrassment." [01:59]

Impact of Weight on Self-Esteem: This incident marked the beginning of James's struggle with self-esteem and his perception of being different from his peers.

"That was maybe where my issues with my weight, my self-esteem came from." [03:10]

Family Dynamics and Lifestyle

Family Influence: Despite coming from an upper-middle-class family with both parents working, James notes that overeating wasn't a familial trait. In fact, his mother was a fitness enthusiast, contrasting his own challenges with weight.

"My mom was like a super fitness freak... I was the outlier in the family." [07:24]

Active Yet Overeating: James mentions his active lifestyle, having played soccer from elementary school through college until a knee injury ended his athletic pursuits. However, his dietary habits often outpaced his physical activity.

"I was pretty active... I just ate more than I could balance out with physical activity." [07:48]

Social Challenges and Bullying

Realization of Social Impact: It wasn't until high school that James fully grasped how his weight affected his social interactions, particularly in dating scenarios.

"In high school, I started trying to flirt with girls and was rejected left and right. I realized my weight was the reason." [08:30]

Bullying Incidents: James recounts specific instances of bullying that left lasting emotional scars.

"I remember one kid telling me, 'Sorry, there are no room for whales here.' I was just so taken aback and started crying." [09:28]

Closure and Moving Forward: Despite encountering some of his former bullies years later, James does not hold onto anger, choosing instead to move past those experiences.

"I am so above that... I've moved beyond that." [11:17]

Turning Point and Weight Loss Journey

Initiating Change: Around the age of 17-18, James began taking control of his weight through a structured diet plan, influenced by his band teacher who introduced him to basic nutrition and workout routines.

"I had a band teacher who was into bodybuilding... he made me a workout plan and introduced me to protein and calorie needs." [12:10]

Dietary Regimen: James describes his initial diet, which included a lot of protein and foods like plain tuna, highlighting the drastic measures he took to lose weight.

"I went really hardcore... eating cans of tuna was pretty gross." [12:42]

Weight Milestone: At his heaviest, James weighed 310 pounds at a height of 5'7", emphasizing the severity of his weight struggle.

"My heaviest weight was around 310 pounds at 5'7." [13:52]

Reflections and Insights

Understanding Weight Beyond the Physical: James emphasizes that his weight loss journey was not just about physical transformation but also about overcoming emotional and psychological barriers.

"Weight loss is more than a physical journey." [Episode Theme]

Continuous Struggle and Mindfulness: He acknowledges that maintaining control over his weight is an ongoing process that requires constant mindfulness.

"I think it's something that I have to be mindful about. It's a continuous struggle to control." [12:10]

Family Eating Habits: James reflects humorously on his family's eating habits, noting that they weren't exactly conducive to weight loss, which adds another layer to his personal journey.

"We didn't exactly win the metabolism lottery... my after-school snack was like two lean pockets... 600 calories for a 17-year-old." [14:17]

Conclusion

In this heartfelt episode, James's story serves as a powerful testament to the multifaceted nature of weight loss. It's not merely a physical transformation but a journey that intertwines emotional resilience, self-acceptance, and continuous personal growth. Becky and Laura facilitate a space where listeners can find empathy, understanding, and inspiration to navigate their own paths through the karma and chaos of life.

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Notable Quotes:

• "That was my first introduction to shame and embarrassment." — James [01:59]
• "I was the outlier in the family." — James [07:24]
• "Weight loss is more than a physical journey." — Episode Theme
• "I am so above that... I've moved beyond that." — James [11:17]

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Final Thoughts: "FOR THE HAYTERS S2E7" offers a candid exploration of the challenges and triumphs associated with weight loss. Through James's narrative, listeners gain insight into the profound personal growth that accompanies physical transformation, making this episode a must-listen for anyone navigating similar struggles.

Transcript

[James]

Foreign.

[Becky]

For the haters. For the haters. Come on to it now or later. It don't matter what your name is. Share your story. We'll be waiting for the haters.

[Laura]

What's up, everybody? And welcome back to. For the haters podcast Today, if you aren't watching on YouTube, we are missing Laura. So if you're new here, it's just myself, Becky, but we're joined today by James. James, you want to say hello?

[James]

Hi, everyone. I'm James. I from Chicago. I made the truck here, and I'm happy to be here.

[Laura]

And we're. Well, I'm happy you came. I guess this is already starting off good.

[James]

Set me up for that.

[Laura]

I didn't say anything, so it's interesting. This is, I think, the first time that I've done the podcast by myself. Okay, you're in for a treat because Laura normally. Laura normally swoops in if I'm going out on tangents.

[James]

So let's go on tangents.

[Laura]

Let's. So awesome. So you had reached out to us, and there's. There's a couple layers to your story. Well, I would say more than a couple. You know, for those of you that are listening, that aren't, you know, watching, you don't see James as person and. And who he is, which is kind of interesting because, you know, your looks have played such a huge part in your life. Right. So the people listening don't know what you look like.

[James]

Sure.

[Laura]

If you. If you kind of want to just jump, you know, I always say it, jump right in and start from when you're a kid.

[James]

Sure. I feel like I've told variations of this story so many times, it's hard to pick where I want to start. But, yeah, I guess so. When I was a kid, I was always kind of just overweight. I learned what the word husky meant very early in my life, thanks to my uncles always, you know, calling me. Calling me husky. And I learned, like, oh, I'm. I'm fat, like. But a lot of my childhood memories, I feel like, have a kind of blurry now at this point. I'm 31, so, like, remembering back to when I was 5 or 6 or even 10, they've kind of fallen by the wayside. But I remember one memory in particular sticks with me to this day. It was in elementary school. I don't remember what year exactly, but we were running the dreaded mile run in gym class. And I think everyone knows that all very well. And I remember I was obviously the last one in in the class to finish. But I assume it was my teacher's idea. She had everyone wait by like the finish line and like cheer me on and like root for me. And it was obviously a good willed gesture. But I remember even then when I was so young that like, I think it was the first time I realized that I was like different from everyone else. And it was like I was embarrassed that like they weren't rooting me on because I was like the best. It was because I was like, to them it was like sad. And I remember like crying hysterically. And that was my first like introduction to like shame and embarrassment. And thinking back on it, I think that's the first time I realized like that that's maybe where my issues with my weight, my self esteem came from. And I mean, I was overweight through high school, up until college, and it wasn't until the end of high school when I really started making a change for various reasons.

[Laura]

But you know, it's interesting that you, that you talk about like the way that you had just said that about you being different. I don't know if I've ever, you know, heard someone say that from weight. Right. Like you hear people say that because they look different because of their ethnicity or the way they, if they have red hair or something like that and, and having that feeling of almost like not fitting in because of, because of that, I guess. I mean, we actually have had someone on before that talks about, you know, his weight affecting him when growing up and how teachers didn't really help him and how kids bullied him. You guys kind of grew up in different eras. But it's interesting that that is what the first instinct of your feelings were because that's a dominant thing that's gonna stick with you for a really, really long time.

[James]

Oh, sure. I mean, they are two distinct chapters of my life and I feel like they are two entirely different lifetimes, if that makes sense. Like I almost feel like it was a different person because I'm so far removed from that. And I'm also treated very differently now than I was growing up. However, those, the way that I was treated when I was overweight has affected me to this day. Yeah, so it's, it's a weird kind of dichotomy to enter a space to live in, I guess.

[Laura]

You know, before moving forward and talk, like talking about, you know, high school or after high school, were there any, like, were there other things that, you know, you could talk about that happened that were defining points in your life?

[James]

You know, I've tried to kind of, well, sorry, my therapist has tried to pull these out of me. And I had a pretty good childhood. I did. My parents were, you know, upper middle class. I was good grades in school, good friends, I played music and like there was nothing really traumatic or any sort of traumatic event in my childhood that kind of spawned this thing. I just, I always remember just really kind of liking food and not really having any sort of control as far as that goes. And I think that in tandem with my parents, both worked. And so preparing meals wasn't always. I mean, it was also a very different time as far as what we know, nutrition wise versus how things are now. But, you know, it was, meals were what was quick and what was easy after, you know, both parents coming home from a long day to work. So that definitely contributed.

[Laura]

Was that, was it something that, you know, overeating that ran in the family?

[James]

No, no, actually. So my mom was like a super like fitness freak, honestly, like always working out, always, always going, going to the gym. And my dad has been pretty standard his whole life, so I was the outlier in the family.

[Laura]

Yeah. Did you, did you play any sports growing up or, you know, what were the activities that you have done? Had done.

[James]

I played soccer pretty much from elementary school through high school up until college. And then in college I tore some cartilage in my knee and that effectively ended my soccer playing days. But I was pretty active. I think I just ate more than I could balance out with physical activity.

[Laura]

Yeah. Did you notice, you know, the impact that your weight and that aspect of your life was having on your social life or, you know, the pain that you held within you?

[James]

Not initially. It wasn't until I was in high school when I really noticed that like how I looked affected my social life up until that point. You know, like I said, I had a good group of friends. I had, I was fine. I think the big change for me was like any other boy in high school was I like started trying to flirt with girls and, and whatever and obviously was rejected left and right. And I was like, oh wait, what's the difference here? Oh, like I'm, I'm overweight, like, and no one would, would say it, but that was the case. And, but up until then I was just, I was pretty ignorant to it. I didn't really realize my own. Wait until middle school, high school and the bullying and all of that started.

[Laura]

Do you want to kind of dig a little deeper into that?

[James]

Sure. Kind of like the mile run incident. I wasn't like super Overtly bullied. There were just a few incidents, one in particular that I remember vividly. And it was just these kids that I was actually very friendly with. One day we were at lunch and I went to sit at the table and one of the kids out of nowhere said, like, sorry, there are no room for whales here. And I was just so taken aback because it was just like, wait a second, what? Like we. I thought we were cool, man. Like, yeah. And all of a sudden you're saying that and. And I don't remember, like, what happened from then on. I just remember, like crying and just being really upset. But it obviously stuck with me 20 some odd years later. So that was really the big one. And then gym locker room, like, nightmare.

[Laura]

You know, we had someone previously come on that, you know, talked about being bullied as well, and this was a question that, you know, was brought up. Have any of those people that caused those issues to recognized it later? You know, like, now, has anyone apologized or has anyone ever reached out to you for maybe something that they had said?

[James]

No, I've ran into these people recently, you know, within the last few years, and they've been very kind, actually, and have said, like, wow, you look great. Like, you've changed so much I don't even recognize you. But no sort of apology of any kind.

[Laura]

Do you think that you still, like, hold some type of like, anger or.

[James]

Not really, I really don't. And I had written about one person in particular, actually, that the person in that one bullying incident, and I posted it on social media and a lot of people were like, wow, screw that guy. Blah, blah, blah. And I ended up deleting his name because for me, it wasn't even about that. Like, that for me, like, we're. We're good. Like, that doesn't affect me anymore. I am so above that. And like, I recognize, like, seventh graders are just idiots and like, I'm not offended and that. That doesn't keep me up at night, you know, it's. I've moved beyond that.

[Laura]

And how long, what age was it that like, you came to the realization grasp of, you know, basically you taking control?

[James]

Well, that's a good question. Actually. I think I'm still taking control. Really. I think that it's something that will be a continuous struggle to control. And it's just something that I have to be mindful about. But I think it wasn't until maybe 18, 17, 18, when I really started to kind of develop some sort of game plan and try and actually reign things in and was Very mindful of my diet.

[Laura]

So that's what was the big change was. First year diet.

[James]

Yes. I had a band teacher actually who was very influential for me. He was very big into like bodybuilding and stuff on his own time. And I don't even remember how it came up, but somehow he ended up making me like a, a workout plan and introduced me to like the basic concepts of like protein and like calorie needs and stuff like that. And I kind of started from that and just like went really hardcore actually. First into like a bodybuilder diet, like a lot of protein and like plain tuna. Like, like gross stuff. And then obviously that's changed now. But yeah, it was, it was weird looking back on it. Like the stuff that I put my through because I wanted so desperately to change, I guess. Like eating cans of tuna, playing like that's pretty gross.

[Laura]

What was your, what was your heaviest weight? What age were you?

[James]

Um, it was around that time, I want to say 16, 17. And I was, it was like 3:10.

[Laura]

That's crazy.

[James]

3:10. And I'm for those who can't see me, I'm like 5 7. So yeah, not exactly the tallest. So 310 on a 57 guy is pretty big.

[Laura]

Yeah. Wow. And it was just all from eat. From just poor eating?

[James]

Yes. Yeah, I think so. And my family. Well, yeah, I guess my family is pretty good at putting on weight, I think. I don't know if that's going to piss off anyone in my family that's listening to this, but I think that we were, we didn't exactly win the metabolism lottery. But yeah, I mean I remember like my after school snack before dinner would be like two lean pockets. So they were lean pockets. So they were good for you. Yeah, no, but that was like before dinner.

[Laura]

Yeah.

[James]

Like so that's like I don't know, doing the math now. I don't even know. I haven't had one in years. But like 600 calories as an after school snack for a 17 year old, like it's not the greatest.

[Laura]

Thank you for making it this far for the Haters is a passion project I'm so excited to share with you. Listen to the rest of this episode by subscribing to for the Haters, you're never alone and your support truly means everything. Thank you.