FOR THE HAYTERS S2E8 - Taking Control of Your Anxiety

Summary

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: FOR THE HAYTERS S2E8 - Taking Control of Your Anxiety

Release Date: March 3, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of "Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter," hosts Becky Hayter and Laura welcome their special guest, Christina, to discuss the intricate journey of managing anxiety. This episode, titled "Taking Control of Your Anxiety," delves deep into Christina's personal experiences, the interplay of nature and nurture in mental health, and the profound impact of career choices on one's psychological well-being.

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I. Christina's Personal Journey with Anxiety

Christina opens up about her lifelong struggle with anxiety, which she became acutely aware of during her freshman year of college.

• Recognizing Anxiety in College:

  • "[02:15] Christina: Probably my freshman year of college, when I knew or, like, recognized that I had really bad anxiety."

  Moving away from home, coupled with a breakup, exacerbated her anxiety, leading to frequent panic attacks that often mimicked severe physical ailments.

• Onset of Panic Attacks:

  • "[02:15] Christina: I would be up all night, night at One point, I was up in the middle of the night in college, and I literally thought I was having a heart attack."

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II. Triggers and Onset of Anxiety

Christina attributes the initial spike in her anxiety to a combination of personal and environmental factors.

• Impact of Personal Relationships:

  • "[03:37] Christina: So at the time, I thought it was just my boyfriend, and that's how I kind of wanted to play it off."

  The end of her relationship left her feeling isolated, intensifying her anxiety levels.

• Environmental Stressors:

  • "[03:37] Christina: I was alone in college. Everybody feels that way when they move away to college. It's uncomfortable."

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III. Mother's Influence and Seeking Professional Help

A pivotal moment in Christina's journey was her mother's intervention, which encouraged her to seek professional assistance.

• Mother's Advocacy:

  • "[07:26] Laura: I'm glad that you. You mentioned your mom before I got A chance to actually shout out to Mama. Mama Dixon, if you're listening."
  • "[04:47] Christina: ...my mom was like, you really should go talk to somebody."

• Decision to Seek Therapy:

  • "[05:48] Host: It's crazy that you took such ownership and responsibility so early."
  • "[06:11] Christina: ...I have to move on with whatever it is that's impacting me at the time."

Christina credits her mother not only for recognizing the severity of her anxiety but also for pushing her towards the counseling center, which was a crucial step in her coping mechanism.

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IV. Nature vs. Nurture in Anxiety

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the debate of whether anxiety is a product of genetics (nature) or environmental factors (nurture).

• Genetic Predisposition:

  • "[08:14] Christina: I feel like it's a little bit of both. I do think there's a genetic component to it."

  Being exposed to anxiety prenatally and observing her mother's struggles provided Christina with both innate and learned aspects of anxiety.

• Environmental Influences:

  • "[08:14] Christina: ...when you're pregnant and you have anxiety and you have that baby inside of you, that's going to the baby, you know, that stress on the baby."

  Christina discusses how her mother's experiences and her own life events have shaped her understanding and management of anxiety.

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V. Impact of Career on Anxiety

Christina's professional life further complicated her anxiety, particularly her tenure working in a skilled nursing facility.

• Exposure to Trauma:

  • "[10:38] Host: ...you're like, I don't understand any of these. Why are all my female friends, like, so devastated?"

  Witnessing patients suffer and succumb to various illnesses deeply affected Christina, leading to heightened anxiety and the development of hypochondria.

• Development of Hypochondria:

  • "[11:05] Christina: ...both huge hypochondriacs. And for everyone who doesn't know, it's like when you have a fear of like, that something is medically or health related wrong to you."

  Her experiences in the medical field, coupled with personal losses, intensified her fears about health and mortality.

• Emotional Toll:

  • "[14:50] Christina: ...seeing people who were like, my grandparents too, that was really hard too."

  The constant exposure to death and disease not only amplified her anxiety but also blurred the lines between professional duty and personal emotional well-being.

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VI. Coping Mechanisms and Insights

Through her journey, Christina has adopted various strategies to manage her anxiety effectively.

• Therapeutic Interventions:

  • "[04:47] Christina: ...you really should go talk to somebody."

  Continued therapy sessions have been instrumental in helping Christina navigate her anxieties.

• Personal Resilience:

  • "[06:11] Christina: ...I have to move on with whatever it is that's impacting me at the time."

  Christina emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility and resilience in overcoming mental health challenges.

• Support Systems:

  • "[06:02] Host: And for you to recognize that, you know, so young and when it all started happening, you know, really, I'm sure, benefited you in the long run of things."

  The unwavering support from her mother and friends played a crucial role in her ability to take control of her anxiety.

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VII. Conclusion

The episode culminates with a reflection on the pervasive nature of anxiety and the significance of early intervention. Christina's story underscores the complexity of mental health, highlighting the intertwined roles of genetics, environment, and personal experiences. Her candid sharing serves as an inspiration for listeners grappling with similar struggles, emphasizing that seeking help and building a support system are pivotal steps toward managing anxiety.

• Final Thoughts:
  • "[15:02] Christina: Thank you."

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Notable Quotes

• "College is the best place to do it for some people because the counseling center at most universities are free, so it's like, free help right there."
  — Christina [04:47]

• "My mom was like, this is really impacting you day to day. Like, I wouldn't want to leave my dorm room at times."
  — Christina [04:47]

• "Seeing people who were like, my grandparents too, that was really hard too."
  — Christina [14:50]

• "For everyone who doesn't know, it's like when you have a fear of like, that something is medically or health related wrong to you."
  — Christina [11:05]

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Final Thoughts

This episode of "Karma & Chaos" offers a profound exploration of anxiety through Christina's experiences. Her narrative not only sheds light on the personal battles individuals face but also emphasizes the importance of support systems and professional help in overcoming mental health challenges. Whether you're personally affected by anxiety or seeking to understand someone who is, Christina's story provides valuable insights and hope.

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Listen to the full episode every Tuesday to stay connected and gain more relatable insights into modern adulthood!

Transcript

[Christina]

Foreign.

[Becky]

For the haters. For the haters. Come on to it now or later. It don't matter what your name is. Share your story. We'll be waiting for the haters.

[Laura]

You ready?

[Christina]

I'm ready when you are.

[Host]

All right.

[Christina]

How about I sing the intro?

[Host]

Can you sing?

[Christina]

No.

[Laura]

When I picked her up, though, like, she didn't even say hello. It was just, like, for the haters.

[Host]

That's funny. All right, what's up, guys? And welcome back to for the Haters podcast. For those of you that are new here, my name is Becky. I am your host. We also have Laura, who is our co founder and writer.

[Laura]

What's up?

[Christina]

All right.

[Host]

And then today we have a special guest, Christina.

[Laura]

Becky is usually the one to say this, but I will this time. This is my friend.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Laura]

That we're finally having on. On an episode. So welcome.

[Christina]

Thank you. Welcome.

[Host]

Excited to have you.

[Christina]

Excited to be here.

[Host]

I'm excited to pick your brain. We. I'm excited for the end because we do this new thing that we allow people to ask questions. And I was reading through the questions before, and there's some really good ones.

[Christina]

Oh, I didn't know people were gonna ask questions quite a bit.

[Laura]

Yes. Audience questions.

[Host]

Yeah. So if you want to go ahead and kind of just introduce yourself and talk about yourself and, you know, why you're here and why you wanted to come on.

[Christina]

Okay. Well, again, my name is Christina. I am here to talk about anxiety and depression, but mostly anxiety. I've been dealing with anxiety probably my entire life, but I wasn't aware of it, really, until I was an adult. So I'm here to tell my story and share some ideas about how I cope with anxiety day to day.

[Host]

Where does your story start?

[Christina]

Probably my freshman year of college, when I knew or, like, recognized that I had really bad anxiety. And Laura was there through everything with me. I had just moved away to college. I only went to school maybe an hour and a half from my house. Um, but I also went with, at the time, my high school sweetheart and going to college with him. We were kind of, like, broken up at that time, but we were still very close friends. And it was really, like, a blessing and a curse at the same time because we got to college. Here I am thinking he's my support, and then we break up, like, two months into college. So then I feel, like, so lonely and like I had no one. And that was when I first started having panic attacks, and I realized that I had really bad anxiety. I would be up all night, night at One point, I. I was up in the middle of the night in college, and I literally thought I was having a heart attack. Like, I was like, I have to call my mom and go to the hospital because I'm going, I'm having a heart attack. But it was really panic attacks. And so, yeah, I just started having anxiety daily, all day, every day. My freshman year of college was really rough for me. I pretty much anxiety. Had terrible anxiety every day that year. So it was really tough for me that year.

[Host]

Was the anxiety based on the situation with your boyfriend? Was it school? Was it combination of almost everything.

[Christina]

So at the time, I thought it was just my boyfriend, and that's how I kind of wanted to play it off. I was like, oh, I'm just really upset because I lost my boyfriend. But after looking back on it and kind of thinking about it a lot, I realized it was much deeper than that. I mean, I was alone in college. Everybody feels that way when they move away to college. It's uncomfortable. You're on your own for your first time. So being away from home and losing that comfort of home, plus dealing with a breakup, all the things combined kind of just caused me to have all these anxiety issues then.

[Laura]

So, yeah, I, you know, I obviously was around for this time period. And I don't even know if I realized at the time or if any of our other friends or your family had realized how bad it actually was. You know, what. What was the inciting incident that year? Like, what was it that night that you, you know, wanted to call your mom and say, hey, take me to the hospital? Or was it like, when did you really decide that this was something that was afflicting you to the point where you needed to sort of course. Correct?

[Christina]

Yeah, I think it was that night, actually, because I remember my parents were visiting me in college that weekend. It was family weekend. And I don't know, that was like, kind of the weekend that we really broke up and broke it off. And I think that was the night. And I went to my mom the next morning because my mom was my biggest support and still is to this day. And I kind of went to her and I would tell her everything, how I felt and whatnot. And that's when she was like, christina, you've got to do something about this. Like, you're a mess. You're emotional. You're. You know. And it was more than just a breakup. She was like, this is really impacting you day to day. Like, I wouldn't want to leave my dorm room at times. I wouldn't want to go out with friends. I would kind of just like, keep to myself in my room. And that's when she was like, you really should go talk to somebody. Because college is the best place to do it for some people. Because the counseling center at most universities are free, so it's like, free help right there. So I was like, you need to go talk to somebody. And I finally was just like, I guess I should. So that's when I started. I went to the counseling center and I started seeing a therapist there.

[Host]

It's crazy that you took such ownership and responsibility so early. I feel like a lot of people kind of put off with it, you know, quite a bit longer because they don't realize the impact that it's already making.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Host]

And for you to recognize that, you know, so young and when it all started happening, you know, really, I'm sure, benefited you in the long run of things.

[Christina]

Yeah, it definitely did. And I have my mom to thank for that, because she really was the one who advocated that for me. I mean, she herself has dealt with anxiety and depression her entire life as well, so she knew the signs in it. She knew, like, she looked at me and she was like, that was me when I was your age. Like, I was exactly the same way. So she kind of was the one to really push me to do it. I mean, it took me a couple months, I would say. And again, looking back on it now, I probably had anxiety, like, my entire life. So then when I was in college and I realized it was impacting me day to day. Like, not wanting to socialize, not wanting to go out. You know, I kind of told myself, like, I gotta step it up here and do something for myself. Cause I didn't like the way I was feeling either. Like, I had no appetite, I was losing weight. I was sad all the time. Like, I could cry literally within a second of, like, looking at something, looking at someone, thinking about something, you know, it was just. It was really unhealthy how I was feeling. So I was tired all the time. So, yeah, I just. I was tired of feeling that way, I think. And I kind of was like, I have to move on with whatever it is that's impacting me at the time. Like, like I said, I thought it was my breakup. So I was like, I have to move on from this breakup. Like, I won't let this define me. So I kind of pushed myself to do it. And my mom as well.

[Laura]

I'm glad that you. You mentioned your mom before I got A chance to actually shout out to Mama. Mama Dixon, if you're listening. You know, you cite her as being a huge support, but. But also having dealt with that herself. And I think that anxiety and depression, you know, I think it's. It's sort of lost. They're lost concepts on people. Because is it biological, is it chemical, is it emotional? Like, nobody really has the answers to this. But what, in your mom's experience is it like. And. And in. In your experience? I guess it's a twofold question. Was it like nature or more nurture for you? Like, growing up with a mother that was afflicted by the. Yeah, you're like, you're laughing right now.

[Christina]

No, it's a big question. It's a good one.

[Laura]

Thank you. I studied this for a little bit.

[Christina]

I feel like it's a little bit of both. I do think there's a genetic component to it. I also think that, like, when you're pregnant and you have anxiety and you have that baby inside of you, that's going to the baby, you know, that stress on the baby. So right there, from the time before I was born, I was exposed to anxiety. My mom, hers looks a little bit different than mine. Everyone's anxiety, depression looks a little bit different than each other's. Hers is a little bit more depression, based in my opinion, and I think she'd agree with me, but we gotta get her on. Yeah, she'd be a great one here. Yeah. So I think hers a little bit more depression based, whereas mine's more anxiety driven. And again, I think that's just how we were. But, yeah, definitely through nurture. Like, I saw that growing up, and I saw that in my teens and as an adult. And even now, you know, I see my mom has gone through a lot in her life as well. Between losing her parents, taking care of both of them. Being an only child and going through that on her own was really rough for her. So I've seen her go through a lot, and a lot of the things that she has had anxiety about, I have had anxiety about. And we'll get into that obviously, too. But, yeah, so it definitely is a lot of nurture in nature combined, because, you know, I'm being exposed to it. But then also, you know, I was kind of predisposed to it before I was even born. So I think it's a little bit about everything. And then I think for some people in this world, it's just their experiences in life, and it's an emotional reaction to things, you know, and it comes and goes throughout my life and everyone else's life. You know, something big happens to us, we have more anxiety. Something, you know, small might happen. It causes huge anxiety. Just depends on the person. So, yeah, I feel like it just changes. It's always ongoing and changing as it goes on.

[Host]

It's so thought provoking. Yeah, well, I do because, I mean, I just thought about, like, myself growing up and I don't ever remember my mom being an anxious person, but I don't think that I was even an anxious person until I started dating. Until I like, started being in love. Dating, I should say. I dated Geyser and there was no real love there, so it didn't matter.

[Laura]

Did you think you were invincible dating men? You were like, I don't understand any of these. Why are all my female friends, like, so devastated?

[Host]

What are these feelings came up? But I mean, it's thought provoking to see where, you know, those. The triggers and what it. And what it stems from. I would have never even thought to think that there could be some type of learned, you know, process of it, which is so. Which is so true.

[Christina]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

[Host]

What? You had mentioned something about talking more about your mother. You just said, I forget.

[Christina]

Oh, talk like how we're similar with our anxieties or both huge hypochondriacs. And for everyone who doesn't know, it's like when you have a fear of like, that something is medically or health related wrong to you, that you could have every medical issue in the world. And I'm probably a very mild hypochondriac. There's definitely varying things, but my mom and I are both. So if we have a sore throat, we immediately think that we have like, I don't know, esophageal cancer or something, you know, like, so we, we both are like that though. And I think it's just both that what we've been exposed to through of our life. My mom has worked in the medical field, but she's experienced, you know, sickness within her parents and our family. And then I have worked in a skilled nursing facility or like a nursing home for my first job. And being exposed to that, like, really just made me aware of all the things in the world. Like I had, you know, my grandparents were sick and I've lost them. But being around it day to day really impacted me. So it was my first job. I worked there for a year and a half or two years almost with my internship when I first graduated school. And I had never been around sick People daily like that. That was a lot for me. And learning about new diseases and things, I think just kind of changed my mindset about stuff. Like, it just made me think more about what medical issues and how it can impact your life and whatnot. So that definitely brought a lot of anxiety on for me working that job. I loved it to death. I love working with my patients, but it was very sad for me, and I eventually had to quit because I just couldn't do it anymore. It was just so sad seeing people, you know, I saw people die. I. You know, and I dreamt about them. I would have dreams about my patients coming to me in my sleep. Yeah, it was. And some of them, you know, unfortunately were my, like, my mom's age. Like, I saw these women come in and they had strokes or they had brain tumors, and I was just like, oh, my God, this could be my parents. You know, this could be me one day. And seeing that day to day and watching them pass away, like, killed me. And I'm just so emotionally connected to people, like, everyone in my life, but relatable. Yeah. And so you see these people, and it just. It killed me also, you know, I. You know, like I said, I had grandparents who were sick, and I was so close with my grandparents, and again, losing them brought on a lot of anxiety, too. But, like, I would look at these patients and I would see my grandparents, and it just would, like, kill me being there every day watching them, you know, again, pass away, be sick. You know, for the people who were able to go home, it was great. It felt so good being able to help them and to get them to go back home. But for the people who unfortunately couldn't, it was just really hard for me. And like I said before, when you're in college, I feel like you're. People think, you know, we're invincible to the world. Like, we're untouchable, we smoke, we drink, we do stupid shit, and we don't. Can I curse on you?

[Host]

Every single person?

[Christina]

I think that.

[Laura]

I think I'm acting like I'm still in college based on the granddaddy just.

[Christina]

But that's. You know, everyone kind of goes to that phase. And then we hit the real world, and it's like a big shock for us. And I think it just hit me really hard. Like, I had never, you know, met anyone with, like, terminal metastatic cancer. And metastatic cancer basically means that it can travel from one place in the body to the next. Like, that's terrifying to think of that. And I was 23, and I'm like, looking at these people and they're like 55. And that was my parents. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's so scary. And so it's just, you know, it was really hard for me. And again, seeing people who were like, my grandparents too, that was really hard too. Like, seeing people. My nana had dementia, and seeing people with dementia really impacted me too, you know, so it was just really tough to do. Like I said, I'd never been exposed to those types of terminal cancers or exposed to people who had aids. And I met people, you know, I had patients who had aids and it was really hard. People had heart attacks.

[Host]

Thank you for making it this far. For the Haters is a passion project. I'm so excited to share with you. Listen to the rest of this episode by subscribing to for the haters. You're never alone and your support truly means everything.

[Christina]

Thank you.