← Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Loading summary
Transcript327 lines
- [00:00]
Travel Expert
Planning a summer getaway. The App Store has everything you need to elevate your travels and outdoor experiences. Start with ChatGPT to plan the perfect itinerary. From destination recommendations to unique activities. Learn the local lingo with duolingo and organize your trip with Tripsy. Your all in one travel planner for nature lovers. Alltrails is your personal guide to hikes and secret spots. Impress your friends with night sky by identifying constellations and track every step of your adventure with Strava. Turn your journey into a cinematic story with relief because that epic mountain view deserves a soundtrack. And for those long flights or spotty connections, don't worry. Download offline games like Farm Heroes, Saga, Wordscapes or Retro bowl before you go from planning to exploring. The App Store has apps and games to make your summer unforgettable. Download them today and let the adventures begin.
- [01:11]
Host 1
Welcome back everyone to Karma and Chaos.
- [01:13]
Host 2
I just want to show off my stamped shirt really quick. This shirt is in honor of Rebecca Hayter and after this episode, I'm going to give it to her. She said she couldn't afford it, so I bought it and then I surprised her with it. She just called you broke.
- [01:27]
Host 1
Literally to your face.
- [01:28]
Host 2
You called yourself broke. And I'm just repeating it.
- [01:31]
Host 1
Yeah, I just don't spend 100 on a T shirt.
- [01:33]
Host 2
It was 78.
- [01:35]
Host 1
How much was shipping that I don't know.
- [01:37]
Host 2
That I don't know. So this is in honor. And then I sent Becky pictures of stamp tattoos.
- [01:46]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [01:46]
Host 2
And she really liked that. So she is going to get the stamp tattoo. So do you have an update on your stamp collection? Have you added to your stamp collection since we talked last?
- [01:54]
Host 1
I haven't added to it, but I still need to get it appraised. You haven't helped me find someone get can get it appraised from.
- [02:01]
Host 2
Yeah, so we're going to get it appraised and then I should do like.
- [02:06]
Host 1
A little video of my stamp collection. You should really interested.
- [02:09]
Host 2
No, no. You should make a tick Tock.
- [02:11]
Host 1
No. Yeah, you should.
- [02:12]
Host 2
Yeah. And then do you think that we could get our face on a stamp? Like a Karma and Chaos stamp?
- [02:18]
Host 1
Like not a real one, but we could probably do it.
- [02:20]
Host 2
I think we can get real ones. I had custom stamps made for my sister's baby shower.
- [02:25]
Host 1
Okay.
- [02:26]
Host 2
Yeah, I still have some. I think so. We should try to look into that and yeah, people will wanna.
- [02:32]
Host 1
I really do like that shirt.
- [02:33]
Host 2
Yeah, I'm gonna give it to you. It's.
- [02:35]
Host 1
It's an inspo for my tattoo too.
- [02:37]
Host 2
Yeah, Love it. It's from Free People. For anyone that's wondering, I also saw it on Amazon after I bought it.
- [02:43]
Host 1
On Free People, so probably cheaper on Amazon.
- [02:46]
Host 2
Yeah, it was 19.99.
- [02:50]
Host 1
Quality.
- [02:53]
Host 2
I have a small update for anyone that's listening and cares. I am joining the Dead Dads club. Raymond has COPD stage 4, so I know you're in the Dead Dads Club and Kristen's a part of the Dead Dads Club, and so I will be joining that as well.
- [03:15]
Host 1
Do you feel like you're already a part of it?
- [03:17]
Host 2
Yeah. I mean, yeah, because he's dead beat, so same thing. But now he's minus the beat.
- [03:22]
Host 1
Let's talk about it.
- [03:23]
Host 2
Okay.
- [03:24]
Host 1
How are we feeling?
- [03:26]
Host 2
Conflicted. I feel conflicted. I feel it's, like, layered. It was sent to me in the weirdest way. I was talking. I had sent my cousin money for something, and then her sister called me and was like, don't send her money. And then she told my aunt, which is my dad's sister, and my dad's sister sent me a message and was like, hey, like, I know your heart was in the right place, but, like, don't do that. And then in the same exact message, it was just an FYI, your father has stage four copd. He's on hospice. So it was like all the same message. And so it's layered in that, like, obviously I don't have a relationship with him and never did, but I feel like I didn't ever get the answers that I've been looking for, sort of. And in 2019, I believe it was, I sent him a message asking him if he would take a DNA test, and he told me he would, and then I sent him one and then he refused to take it. So I'm like, I feel like you don't get to die without answering all the questions I have. And without, like.
- [04:46]
Host 1
Is that one of the questions? Like, what. What kind of questions do you have for him?
- [04:50]
Host 2
I want to know why he left. I want to know why I didn't try harder. I want to know why he just gave up. I want to know why he didn't just give up on me, but then he turned around and did the same thing to my sister. And I feel like my sister never really had answers. And, you know, my sister has her own what she was told, you know, and. And. And I don't necessarily believe what she was told, but that's her experience. And I feel like he owes both of us explanations for why she was even told that yeah, what she was told. And so I don't know. I'm like, mad at him. I also never got to meet any of my siblings from the Philippines. Like, I know that'll never happen. Not that it would have happened if he was staying here. Does he have staying here?
- [05:36]
Host 1
Does he know them?
- [05:38]
Host 2
I mean, I don't know if he does, but. Why didn't you try for them either? Like, I need answer. Like, I want to know how someone walks through this earth and does the bare minimum to, like, get by in life and, like, doesn't. You procreated multiple times and you don't care. Like, I just want to know where your head is at. I want to know how you walk through this earth doing the bare minimum and didn't give a. About anything. Not just us, but, like, just in general.
- [05:59]
Host 1
Yeah, it's. I mean, it's a. I'm sorry. Like, that's just like a hard place to. To try to navigate. My. And we kind of talked about this, but, like, my fear is that the answers aren't going to matter. Like, my. That's like my biggest fear for you is that you'll. It'll either make it worse, but I know that you want to at least try to get some type of closure in that, which you can't. Like, I can't blame anyone for. What are you gonna do?
- [06:28]
Host 2
I think I'm gonna go see him. The last time I. The first and last time I saw him.
- [06:35]
Host 1
Where is he?
- [06:36]
Host 2
He's in Dallas. The first and last time I saw him was 2009, so I was 17 and I was pregnant.
- [06:47]
Host 1
That's a lot.
- [06:49]
Host 2
Yeah. And my sister's conflicted. She texted me this morning. She said, I'll let you know. I'm super conflicted. I do know. I'll go to his funeral. I think. I'm not sure if Raymond would be able to talk because seeing COP for COPD firsthand, it literally takes everything in you to talk and breathe. I'm also conflicted because I don't want to not go and regret it later. So I'll think on it.
- [07:13]
Host 1
I don't think that there's a right answer. I don't think that there's a wrong answer. I do, however, have feelings. I mean, obviously you are a parent. I think it's a lot more, like, present in my mind of, like, I don't understand how someone can just kind of walk away from, like, having a child and the responsibilities of having a child and doing it multiple times and, like, I don't know that just, like. It's just shows so much of, like, his character of, like, just being okay with having kids and not caring. But I. I also don't know, like, is that this mentality that he has or is. Is the mentality, like, kids are better off without him in it?
- [07:59]
Host 2
What he said to me When I was 17, he said, I knew you'd come find me one day. Like, if you wanted to, you would come find me. That was his mentality.
- [08:07]
Host 1
Yeah. I just. I fear you're not going to get any answers from him, but I do think that you need to do what you need to do to.
- [08:15]
Host 2
I just, like. I, like, pisses me off because I don't want to give him the satisfaction of, like, oh, my daughter came to see me. Like, you don't deserve that. So that's where I'm also like, I. You don't get to die without giving me answers. But I also don't want you to give the. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of, like, I still came through at the end of it all.
- [08:36]
Host 1
I can understand that, but I don't know if he'll feel like that.
- [08:40]
Host 2
No. He's so nonchalant about everything. Like, he's so. Eh. Eh.
- [08:47]
Host 1
Do you think that maybe you can ask someone that does talk to him to. To ask him some questions first or to see if he's even willing to answer questions? I'd hate to see you get there and then not even have the opportunity. Like, it is, like your sister said, like, he can't even talk.
- [09:05]
Host 2
No, she's not saying he can't talk. She doesn't know if he can.
- [09:07]
Host 1
No. Yeah, I know. So, like, finding out if that's even a possibility, or finding out if someone can just ask him if he'd be willing to have a conversation or answer questions because.
- [09:18]
Host 2
Or take the DNA test. Like you're essentially on your deathbed. Take the DNA.
- [09:22]
Host 1
Just.
- [09:22]
Host 2
Yeah, literally, just take it. Because I think before he was, like, willing to do it, and then it was, no, he's not willing to do it.
- [09:28]
Host 1
Do you have a reason that you think that he isn't?
- [09:30]
Host 2
No. I know he's my father, but I know his father is not his father. And he doesn't know that, and my aunt doesn't know that, but my sister and I figured it out through ancestry.com.
- [09:40]
Host 1
So what does that do?
- [09:42]
Host 2
Well, we would have a whole other family that we don't know about. Like, we should be Morris instead of Lowry.
- [09:49]
Host 1
What an interesting life that comes about anytime I Talk to you.
- [09:57]
Host 2
Yeah. So there's that.
- [09:58]
Host 1
How do you feel about should I.
- [10:00]
Host 2
Should I like message Susie and tell her also, hey, my dad's dying. She blocked me on Facebook though.
- [10:07]
Host 1
If you want to open that can.
- [10:09]
Host 2
Of worms, I think that Alessandra, I went on Alessandra's Facebook and found her because I was blocked. So Alessandra was like, I can send her your number.
- [10:18]
Host 1
Do you want to talk to her?
- [10:19]
Host 2
No. But do I tell her that her ex husband's dying?
- [10:22]
Host 1
Why would she care?
- [10:24]
Host 2
They created a life together.
- [10:27]
Host 1
I don't know, man. I just have a hard time empathizing with Susie Q. Yeah, like all the things like, I guess, I don't know, I, I, who am I to judge? Who am I?
- [10:40]
Host 2
I don't think you're judging.
- [10:42]
Host 1
No, I know it's, I think I was just saying it to say it.
- [10:47]
Host 2
Okay. Does anyone really know what hormones do? There's so much talk about women's hormonal health. But women are often left even more confused about what it means for them, for us, and what to do about it. So these, this confusion needs to end now. An award winning German nutrition scientist created a power herbal formula called Hormone harmony. Which combines 12 powerful adaptogens into one single capsule. And each of these ingredients is carefully selected based on scientific evidence and has been proven effective in clinical studies for women of various ages and hormonal profiles. I know, I'm so hormonal. So Happy Mammoth is everything. This is a company that produces Hormone Harmony. It's famous for its zero compromise policy. There are no GMOs, artificial fillers or flavors or any other junk. Only science backed ingredients and amounts that are clinically proven. Hormone harmony has over 50,000 rating reviews from women all over the world. With 98% of them saying they gladly recommend this to their friends and family. And these reviews are unbelievable. They're raving about better energy, deeper sleep, feeling balanced and calm, reduced bloating and easier weight management alongside a healthy lifestyle. For a limited time. You guys can get 15 off your entire first order@happy mammoth.com. just use code Karma at checkout. You can try Hormone Harmony risk free and get 15 off your first order with code Karma at checkout.
- [12:12]
Advertiser
Everyone knows that feeling. Wanting to experience more stories but struggling to find the time. That's where Audible changes everything. With over a million audiobooks and Audible originals, there's a story waiting to spark anyone's imagination. Take the Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley. The gripping psychological thriller that's keeping listeners on the edge of their seats. Imagine unraveling its mysteries during your morning commute or losing yourself in its twists and turns while doing household chores. That's the magic of Audible. It transforms daily routines into opportunities for thrilling discoveries. The best part Members get access to thousands of included titles with new content added regularly. From best sellers to hidden gems, every genre imaginable is at their fingertips. And with one easy to use app, switching between favorites or discovering new passions has never been simpler. There's more to imagine when you listen. Start a free 30 day Audible trial and get your first audiobook free at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery.
- [13:17]
Host 1
My mind is just like, it's just so hard for me to comprehend the way that you were treated, especially as a baby, as a innocent little child that had no other outlet of survival except for these two humans. And they chose not to to give you a place of safety or a place of anything. Like they it's, it is so selfish to bring a child into an environment that can like, you know, you can't take care of them. You aren't taking care. She probably fed you whole milk.
- [13:59]
Host 2
I don't know that she fed me anymore water.
- [14:03]
Host 1
You know what I mean?
- [14:04]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [14:04]
Host 1
And that scares me.
- [14:06]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [14:07]
Host 1
And that pisses me off. I don't think people should freely be able to have children. I just don't like I. And like I. Not that I don't wish you weren't here, but I don't think that they should have had children and I don't think that they deserve you now. And I don't think that I don't think you're gonna get any closure out of it. But I hope I'm wrong. I tell you my feel like I, I know you're gonna do something and I fully support you doing something.
- [14:31]
Host 2
I just, I can't picture myself going to his funeral. So like my sister said, she'll probably go to his funeral. Like yeah, I don't, I can't picture myself going to my mom's funeral, my dad's funeral. Picture myself right now. I could picture myself going down to Texas, talking to him, trying to get answers. Try like and then, and then that's my closure. But I do not have any plans to see him in a funeral. What is it called when you go when they're viewing wake I want no parts of that. I do not give a where you end up. I just need to know these things. I just haven't really because I found out last night I want to come up with like A list of questions because there's so many things that I want to know, know, but I can't picture myself going to his funeral. And then I feel bad because then it's like, okay, if my sister goes to the funeral, I want to be there to support her because her mom already passed away, but I don't want to go to his funeral.
- [15:26]
Host 1
I don't think you need to go to the funeral. I think that you do. Like, knowing you as a person, I think that you do need to, like, vocalize to him. I. In my mind, I just see it turning into, like, an emotion, like, very emotional thing for you. Like, I think you're gonna see him and get really emotional and, like, tried to say things, and it just might be an overwhelming experience for you, which is fine. Like, that's totally fine. I don't think there's a. It's a. Like, you're gonna avoid that kind of happening. But that's a lot different than just showing up to a viewing, because the viewing is. I don't know, for. Does he have family left?
- [16:05]
Host 2
Like, does his sister, my cousins, I don't know, view?
- [16:09]
Host 1
I feel like viewings are more for family than it is for the person.
- [16:12]
Host 2
I'm not going to a funeral. A viewing, nothing.
- [16:15]
Host 1
Yeah. You could even just be around in the area for your sister, right? Like, let her go in and then, like, go and grab a bite to eat after. Together. Or just if, like, you want to be able to support her in that way. I'm so interested to know what you end up doing, though.
- [16:31]
Host 2
I have just, like, felt like an orphan my whole life. My sister's really going to be one, but because my dad didn't do what he should have done, I don't get to have that sort of relationship with her. So, like, I could only be there for her a little bit. Does that make sense? Yeah.
- [16:48]
Host 1
Who knew that today was going to be so tearful?
- [16:52]
Host 2
Where's trivia Kayak?
- [16:55]
Host 1
There's some type of silver lining that your dad never gave it to anyone. Like, no one ever got a good dad out of him. Right. Like.
- [17:04]
Host 2
Like, you think I would have be more resentful if he would have stayed with my sister and not had a family? Yeah, No, I don't. Like, I look at maybe. But I also would be like, okay.
- [17:13]
Host 1
He'S incapable of being a father. And that's, like, a lot different than, like, him being capable and him choosing not to give that life to you.
- [17:22]
Host 2
But I do also recognize that, like, if that was the case, right? Like, Cuz he did stay with my sister until she was 5. My mom had the resources to keep him away. And so if that was the case, and then like, my sister's mom didn't keep him away. Like, I do think that there's like a gray area where maybe he was a good dad, but. But to your point, like, he hasn't fathered any of us.
- [17:43]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [17:44]
Host 2
And I don't know, it just. Because then it's bringing up feelings about my mom that I also didn't intend to happen. Right. Like hearing about Raymond and then I'm like, my first thought is like, do I tell my mom? And like, it doesn't really, it shouldn't matter to her.
- [18:02]
Host 1
But also it's really unfortunate when people like your birthing parents or biological parents have someone like you because they don't deserve that. Like, they don't deserve the emotions and the empathy that you just naturally have for them and that you give to them. And like, they just live this life. I mean, I don't know. I'd love to have a conversation with them. Can I come to.
- [18:35]
Host 2
Yeah, maybe you could say the things I can't.
- [18:39]
Host 1
Maybe it's just so. It's. It's really. Like, I've said this a million times on this podcast, but, like, I forget the life that like, you were raised in. And anytime you speak towards your childhood, it like, is really painful to hear as some, like, it just reminds you how bad like, the world can be and how bad people can be. And like, you were a child, like, you didn't deserve literally anything that happened to you. And that is not fair. And I don't think that. I don't know, like, I don't know if. Do you think that they have any sort of regret of it?
- [19:24]
Host 2
No, that's like the hardest. Like, I want to know, like, how you walked through this life knowing that you did not contribute us even a little. Like, I never got a birthday card, I never got a call. I never, like, I wondered, you know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh. In my head, I always was like, my dad knows how bad my mom is. He's saving up his money and he's gonna come rescue me from this living hell. And I just kept telling myself that, like around 13, he's gonna come, he's gonna come get me and I'm never gonna look back. That's what I thought was happening.
- [19:59]
Host 1
That's devastating.
- [20:01]
Host 2
Yeah, that's what I thought. That's really sad.
- [20:04]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [20:05]
Host 2
And then he never came. That's so Maybe I'll just tell him that story.
- [20:21]
Host 1
I just like, like the thing that I'm having a hard time with when I think of your dad, I'm thinking of like a uneducated, unhealthy, like a being of a person that is just, like, so dumb.
- [20:39]
Host 2
I mean, that's the vibes I got in real life.
- [20:41]
Host 1
That's what I. And like, that's in my, like. And so how can someone even have a conceptual thought? Like, how can. How can someone that stupid, that ignorant, that blind, that, like, that, like, empty of a human have any type of thought? Right?
- [20:57]
Host 2
Like, yeah.
- [20:59]
Host 1
Can he even produce anything in his head that would give you, like, I don't know, like you're saying all of.
- [21:08]
Host 2
Those things to say. You don't know that I will get the answers because of that.
- [21:13]
Host 1
Yeah. Like, I just think he's illiterate. Like, that's what I think of, like, I think that he wouldn't pass a first grade test. But I don't know him. I know nothing about, like, does he have a job? Does he work? That's what I mean.
- [21:25]
Host 2
Like, like, I don't know him to have had a job my whole life.
- [21:28]
Host 1
Has he left his house? Has he, like, ever? But, like, that's. But in my head, that's what I think of when I think of him. Just from the clips from tv.
- [21:40]
Host 2
We played a clip of him last night. Was it last night? Two nights ago. We played a clip of him and everything that you're saying describes him like.
- [21:53]
Host 1
Does he know how to read? Like, I'm not even. Like, it's not even being, like, funny. Like, does, like, does he know who the president is right now? Like. Like, when I think of this man, I just think of someone that lives in this sheltered world of like, not knowing love, not knowing friendship, not knowing family, not knowing anything. And so, like, how can someone like that be capable of having any type of intellectual conversation?
- [22:21]
Host 2
No, he's never going to have an intellectual. I think what you're describing to me is so spot on. And I think that you're right. I'm probably not gonna get the answers that I want.
- [22:29]
Host 1
But, like, that might be closure for you too, like, seeing, like, talking to him.
- [22:33]
Host 2
Does it make it okay that he's like, not, hell no capable to have these conversations?
- [22:39]
Host 1
No, it doesn't make it okay at all. But, like, you might get some closure in that. That, like, you might go there and be like, holy. Like, because right now all you have is your thoughts. All you have is, like, what you can like, imagine him being. And like you might get there and be like, holy. Like, he's not even worth my thoughts. Like, this is like a miserable life that someone lived and that's hell in itself. Like, I wouldn't even want this man in my life. I never wanted, like, he did me a service by not trying to have me in his life because he knows nothing or he likes not knowing.
- [23:19]
Host 2
I still just like, think back. Like, it would have been better to be poor with him than it was to live with Susie or would have.
- [23:26]
Host 1
Just been a different hell.
- [23:28]
Host 2
Yeah, life doesn't come with a manual, but every day you're making choices, some big, some small, that shape the direction of your life. Life Kit offers real stories, relevant insights and clear takeaways to help you meet those decision making moments with confidence and clarity. From fitness routines to mental resilience, navigating personal go to tackling burnout. We all need a little help being human. That's what the Life Kit podcast from NPR is here to do. If you're looking to move with more intention or just need thoughtful guidance on living better, Life Kit delivers strategies to help make meaningful, sustainable change. I definitely needed to listen to this podcast recently because I've been going through it. 2025 has really, really challenged me. And I listen to Life Kit because I get to hear thoughtful conversations that unpack the emotional and practical side of personal wellness. Actionable guidance I can actually use, no fluff, no jud and trusted voices and expert advice to help take me to the next step, however big or small. And so you can too. You guys can get help tackling common issues like relationships, finances, parenting and your career. Then walk away with a game plan that you can implement right away, which is most important. Life Kit isn't just another podcast about self improvement. It's about understanding how to live a little better. Starting now. Listen to the Life Kit podcast from npr.
- [24:53]
Host 1
I think that regard like, you'll get some type of peace by like speaking with him. But that's just when. But I don't know why that's why.
- [25:02]
Host 2
I think like, no, but that's literally how he, how he is.
- [25:05]
Host 1
Yeah, but you haven't seen him in what, 20 years? So.
- [25:08]
Host 2
I'm not that old. I saw him in 2009. What year is it?
- [25:13]
Host 1
Yeah, that's like 15 years ago. Yeah, it's a long time ago. How old, how old is he?
- [25:22]
Host 2
Oh God. My mom's 60, so he's probably 61, 62.
- [25:28]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [25:28]
Host 2
So I met him when I was, he was 45. And he looked like he was 60.
- [25:33]
Host 1
That's what I mean. And, like, even seeing him might be a shock.
- [25:37]
Host 2
Like, what he physically looks like COPD look like it Just sick.
- [25:42]
Host 1
Like he's gonna be sick.
- [25:44]
Host 2
Like, what is copd?
- [25:45]
Host 1
It's a chronic lung condition. So that's what it is. It's your lungs are essentially breaking down.
- [25:50]
Host 2
Well, we could move on now.
- [25:51]
Host 1
No, we don't have to move on.
- [25:53]
Host 2
I was ddc. Coming right up. Okay. We had to take a quick lunch break.
- [25:58]
Host 1
We did take a quick lunch break.
- [26:00]
Host 2
What did you eat for lunch?
- [26:02]
Host 1
Ming Poo.
- [26:05]
Host 2
Moo Ping.
- [26:06]
Host 1
Oh, Moo Ping. Yeah.
- [26:10]
Host 2
God.
- [26:14]
Host 1
Yeah. Moo Ping.
- [26:15]
Host 2
What did you call it?
- [26:16]
Host 1
Ming Poo. I said it's so comp. That's my issue. I say things so confidently and like, kayak. Yeah, exactly.
- [26:27]
Host 2
Yeah. We're gonna switch gears a little bit. But first, one.
- [26:31]
Host 1
One more thing. My cat never came home.
- [26:33]
Host 2
Okay.
- [26:34]
Host 1
Wanted to give you guys an update on that.
- [26:37]
Host 2
Yikes. Becoming a member of the DDC and then also missing cat club.
- [26:43]
Host 1
Yeah, you'll get. You'll get the letter in the mail once he's dead. Like, to confirm your.
- [26:50]
Host 2
Will someone send me a letter?
- [26:52]
Host 1
Yes, that's what the DDC is.
- [26:55]
Host 2
Oh, are you the president?
- [26:57]
Host 1
No. I wasn't the first one with a dead dad.
- [27:00]
Host 2
I thought you established the club, though.
- [27:02]
Host 1
Jesus was. Don't.
- [27:06]
Host 2
Please don't even start.
- [27:09]
Host 1
Just kidding. Oh, God, I'm getting delusional. So, okay, couple things. First thing I want to say, shout out to Natasha. She got married on Monday.
- [27:25]
Host 2
That's Leah's best friend.
- [27:26]
Host 1
Leah's best friend. I do want to say shout out also to Natasha. Natasha was working when Leah's water broke. She works night shift. She's also a provider, and she came to our house right after night shift, cleaned our house, put everything away, did all laundry, like, made us food, filled our fridge while we were at the hospital.
- [27:51]
Host 2
Oh, that's so sweet.
- [27:52]
Host 1
Yeah. 10 out of 10. Everyone deserves a Natasha in their life. But congratulations to Natasha and Al for getting married.
- [28:00]
Host 2
Al a man or a woman?
- [28:02]
Host 1
Ella is a man.
- [28:03]
Host 2
Oh, congratulations. Congratulations to Natasha and Al.
- [28:07]
Host 1
They eloped.
- [28:09]
Host 2
Love.
- [28:09]
Host 1
Oh, this is fun. So, but because on my topic is elopement, so some like, something difficult that I always have when people elope, because this is what my difficultness was with having, like, a private ceremony was you invite, like, a sibling or a really good friend, but then they have a partner that you're not really close with. And I'm not saying this is their situation. This is just like an elopement in general. And then so when you have this small gathering, this intimate gathering, say it's 20 people. You invite your sibling, let's say you invite your friend but they have a significant other that you aren't like fond of. They're taking up a place in that 20 people. When like you have another friend that should have been there instead. I always go down that thought process of from like dissonant elopement. Like that's a difficult thing for me to.
- [29:04]
Host 2
Would you ever say that they couldn't bring their significant other?
- [29:08]
Host 1
No.
- [29:09]
Host 2
I would.
- [29:10]
Host 1
No. If I don't know you, I don't like you.
- [29:12]
Host 2
You're not coming to my wedding. I could see it if they're not married.
- [29:17]
Host 1
We had a private ceremony. We only had 35 people at our ceremony and there were people there because they were significant others of people that wouldn't. Shouldn't have been there but. And I have other friends that like should have.
- [29:31]
Host 2
I feel like there's a level of self awareness that you should have. It's like uncomfortable in my opinion. Would it be uncomfortable for me to just like be floating around? I feel like you have to have some level of self awareness. Like not everything is black and white. Just because you're not wanted there doesn't mean it's not. It's not necessarily because I don't like you. It's just like I don't know you well enough to have you at my forever wedding 100 but I say all that to say like if I was to be. To get married and get eloped, like I would not want someone's significant other there.
- [30:04]
Host 1
Like, like say it all to say limits are an interesting topic for me but I do want to tell you that we, Lee and I just like we gave them the gift of. We gave them two gifts, one gift. We helped with their food, their dinner. They did like a pride. It was really pretty and cute but Leah gave a speech and like recorded it for them to play. So it was literally just Natasha, Al, their parents, their siblings.
- [30:36]
Host 2
Oh cute.
- [30:37]
Host 1
Like it was just like them. And they did like a private dinner at her sister's cafe. It was really cute. So Leah recorded a speech for them to like to surprise them to play.
- [30:49]
Host 2
Oh, that's so cute.
- [30:53]
Host 1
At the end of it I want to just show you. I'm going to read the part that I said in it. I'll probably cry. I cried when I read it to them. It says you ready? It's really cute. Are you guys ready? Is Everyone ready? It's. I said, I know there isn't anything tangible that we could give you that would ever match the impact you've had on our lives. We love you both so much, and since we can't give you that kind of gift, we were hoping you might give us one instead. My eyes are getting wet already.
- [31:30]
Host 2
Now they're crying again.
- [31:32]
Host 1
It would mean the world to us if you would be Beck's godparents. My eyes are wet again. There's no one else in. There's no one else we could imagine carrying that title. It's not just about a name. It's about the love, the guidance, and the presence we hope you'll always have in his life.
- [32:00]
Host 2
That's really cute.
- [32:01]
Host 1
Oh, I thought I was done crying for the day.
- [32:04]
Host 2
No, not quite.
- [32:06]
Host 1
Anyway, yeah, we asked them to be his. His godparents.
- [32:11]
Host 2
I love that quote.
- [32:14]
Host 1
But it's cute because I asked them if they'd be okay with using the Greek terms for it. And it was really cute because when I said that to Al, he was like, I grew up my whole life with my cousins having. And he said, whatever. They call them in Spanish. Yeah. And he never had that. And so, like, they're really excited to use, like, the Greek words. So, yeah, that's cute. So shout out to Al, Natasha Beck's godparents.
- [32:42]
Host 2
Love.
- [32:42]
Host 1
If you didn't know, now you know. Let me see what else I had on my list, because there was something funny. Wow. I'm such a little bitch today.
- [32:51]
Host 2
Yeah, you are.
- [32:55]
Host 1
Oh, you ready for this one? This is a question I have for you.
- [32:59]
Host 2
For me?
- [32:59]
Host 1
What was based on it? Like, a TikTok asked the question. I didn't make it up myself. What is one statistic in life? You would want to know if you could have anything they said in this. Tick tock. Didn't think about what your answer is. It was, how many wings. How many wings have I eaten in my entire. In my entire life? Like, what would stand out unique to you, above average of everyone else?
- [33:28]
Host 2
How many balloons would it take to put on my back so I could float?
- [33:33]
Host 1
That's not. That's not the question. It's like something that you do in your life. Like, you could probably say, how many ghosts have I drank in my life? Because that statistic would put you above average over most people.
- [33:47]
Host 2
Oh, I'm. I'm tracking now.
- [33:55]
Host 1
You're so dumb.
- [33:56]
Host 2
How long have you been waiting to say that? Yeah, that was, like, on the tip of your tongue.
- [34:00]
Host 1
No, we can make that happen for you girl.
- [34:02]
Host 2
Wait, do you think that that is possible? Yeah.
- [34:05]
Host 1
Floating like this? Yeah, me too.
- [34:08]
Host 2
That's exactly what I'm picturing. Do you think that can happen? Yeah, it would be like, should we try? Yes. Sign up to Patreon to.
- [34:18]
Host 1
To float pale. I. I've never even thought about what.
- [34:22]
Host 2
I never thought about that either. That's abnormal to not have thought about it. Like, I just want to know what.
- [34:28]
Host 1
Balloons do you think it is?
- [34:31]
Host 2
A lot.
- [34:32]
Host 1
We weigh the same, so it's like.
- [34:34]
Host 2
I think it's just, like, gravity.
- [34:36]
Host 1
I think it's purely about weight. No, like, for us, too, we would have the same amount of balloons.
- [34:44]
Host 2
Yes, but, like, I'm saying, like, everybody's gonna need at least like, a hundred.
- [34:47]
Host 1
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
- [34:48]
Host 2
One person's gonna take six balloons.
- [34:51]
Host 1
No, but, like, if, like, Bex would probably take, like, six big balloons because of his weight.
- [34:55]
Host 2
Probably two.
- [34:56]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [34:58]
Host 2
Okay. So what? What? Okay. I would say. Yeah, I would say, like, how many ghosts have I had in my life?
- [35:04]
Host 1
Like, what's something so unique to me? Like, something that I do that's weird.
- [35:09]
Host 2
Like, I don't do anything that's weird. So, like, there's nothing.
- [35:12]
Host 1
Old face lie.
- [35:14]
Host 2
Name one thing. I can't name one thing. I don't do weird things.
- [35:19]
Host 1
I guess we'll come back to that question.
- [35:20]
Host 2
Can you name something?
- [35:22]
Host 1
Anyway, moving on.
- [35:23]
Host 2
I would be curious to know how many bottles of Crown Apple.
- [35:26]
Host 1
Oh, yes. That is unique out. Yes.
- [35:29]
Host 2
Because I only know you to love Crown Apple.
- [35:32]
Host 1
I will. That's a great. Wow. It's like, you know me.
- [35:36]
Host 2
Is Crown Apple a whiskey?
- [35:38]
Host 1
It is, but it's distilled differently. Like, it's not. It flavored whiskey is often distilled like vodka. I'm pretty sure if you're a liquor connoisseur. Don't. Don't call me on that.
- [35:51]
Host 2
Do you remember when we went to the. That one place? It was like a bar and your dad was. And it was like, me, you, Alex, your dad. And we were drinking.
- [35:59]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [36:00]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [36:00]
Host 1
When you had the beer, I think.
- [36:01]
Host 2
It was a beer man.
- [36:02]
Host 1
Larry.
- [36:03]
Host 2
What?
- [36:03]
Host 1
A man.
- [36:04]
Host 2
Layer Bear.
- [36:04]
Host 1
He came into my dream a couple days ago.
- [36:07]
Host 2
He did?
- [36:07]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [36:08]
Host 2
Was it a good dream?
- [36:09]
Host 1
Yeah, it was weirdly very realistic.
- [36:13]
Host 2
How interesting?
- [36:14]
Host 1
Wildly realistic. It was insane, actually.
- [36:18]
Host 2
Did you wake up emotional or was. Were you fine?
- [36:20]
Host 1
I was still going through my, like, emotional like. Like I was, like, blocked from emotions. What happened? So my. Obviously, my dad was sick, and so the dream was. We were in the hospital. He was knocked out on medicine. And me and Bex were there and we were like, just hanging out there. And then my dad started to wake up and I was getting anxious because I thought he was going to be angry because, like, that's. My dad dealt with anger. And so I went to go get help just in case he woke up angry and like, so they needed to medicate him. But when we came back, he wasn't there. He was gone. And so I started. And so my dad used to be a runner too. Like, that was something active. Like, we used to have to, like, call the cops to find him. And so in the dream, it, like, panned to the next scene. It was like paramedics bringing him back in a stretcher, but he was eating McDonald's and cracking up. Like, he thought it was so funny that he got out. And that's what he used to do when, like, he would leave and, like, cops would have to find him. He would be laughing like, they'd be like, you're gonna be getting in trouble. And he'd be like, yeah, I know. And like it. So he was like, giggling and laughing and then, like, giggling and laughing with Bex too. So, like, it would. I. I don't even know if I've had a dream with my dad in it.
- [37:39]
Host 2
Well, that's good that both of them were in it.
- [37:41]
Host 1
Yeah. So I'm not gonna cry again. So I'm. If you think I am. I'm not.
- [37:48]
Host 2
Crybaby.
- [37:49]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [37:55]
Host 2
All right, you guys. My son brought home a new kitten. We have three cats in this house, and now we're using Smalls cat food. Okay, so Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered straight to your door. We do it for our dogs and now we do it for our cats. So that's why cats.com named Smalls as their best overall cat food. And to get 60 off your first order, plus free shipping, head to smalls.com karma for a limited time only. My cats absolutely love this food. Smalls is one of my favorite sponsors ever. And at this point you might be wondering, why can't I just feed my cat kibble? But believe it or not, your cute little kitty descended from ferocious desert cats who hunted live prey for food. And your cat isn't any different. Right? They still need the fresh, protein packed meals to be their best. Other cat food brands know this, but they choose to put their wallets first, right? And they fill their food with mysterious Meat byproducts, artificial flavoring, and preservatives with names that we don't even know how to pronounce, which sounds gross and I don't want to eat it, so why would I feed it to my cats? After switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners report overall health improvements. And that's a huge deal, obviously, because cats and dogs are part of our family. Becky has four cats, I have three cats. And you know, we wouldn't tell you about this if we didn't love it ourselves. For a limited time only, because you are a karmaroo, you get 60 off your first Smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com karma that's 60 off when you head to smalls.com karma+free shipping. Again, that smalls.com karma.
- [39:36]
Host 1
There was a Tick Tock that came up on my for you page. That's what it's called, right? People are so bold to ask the Internet's opinion on things. That it was this girl that was like, what dress do you think I should wear to the wedding?
- [39:53]
Host 2
They said none, didn't they? That's.
- [39:57]
Host 1
I felt so bad. I was like. And I'm reading through the comments are so funny.
- [40:02]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [40:02]
Host 1
And I was just reading through them and yeah, comments are so much funnier on Tick Tock than they. They get when we've talked about that before. Like there was this one that it was this probably like 16 year old girl and she was like, you guys always love to see my dad. And the dad comes into the frame and I like read the comment and it was like, can your mom fight? Because like the dad.
- [40:25]
Host 2
The comments are always funnier than the actual video.
- [40:27]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [40:27]
Host 2
And I'm like, this is why the Internet is unmatched.
- [40:31]
Host 1
I only have one more topic on my list.
- [40:32]
Host 2
What's your topic? What is the last topic that you have?
- [40:35]
Host 1
It's a bit more serious. So there was this person talking about how everyone wants to be a. Everyone wants to have a village, but like you have to be a villager to also have a village. And I think, and this is to follow up on the other episode that we talked about because people were really confused about how I have so many friends and like so many people in my life.
- [41:00]
Host 2
They're confused about that.
- [41:01]
Host 1
No, it was just like, yeah, they were like, how, how can someone know that many people or have that many people? And I think that that quote of like, you have to be willing to be a villager to have a village just is the reason behind that, and I kind of said it on our Facebook group too, is like, you have to show up for other people. Like I know that every single person knows that they can call me and I am a villager for their village just as much. Right. Like, so people aren't put willing to put in that work of retired. But I'm still gonna show up for this person because they would like show up for me type of situation.
- [41:41]
Host 2
So I think you also have to have flexibility in your circumstances to be able to show up for other people. And that's a percent too. Like if you're talking about.
- [41:51]
Host 1
But showing up means a million different things.
- [41:53]
Host 2
Sure. But I think, think when you are. And I'm just playing devil's advocate because I'm thinking of myself back, you know, when I had two jobs and I was going to school and I was a mom. I. I couldn't show up for people. I needed them to show up for me, but I could not show up for other people at that time.
- [42:09]
Host 1
Yeah, because you needed a village.
- [42:12]
Host 2
But to be able to create the flexibility in order for me to be there for them. So I just want to like.
- [42:18]
Host 1
Right. Life, life goes ups and downs. I can't be there for people when I'm not there for myself. And I've been in those positions.
- [42:24]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [42:25]
Host 1
Positions. I know. We can talk about what about the whole scandal, the cheating scandal, the Coldplay concert.
- [42:35]
Host 2
Let's talk about that for a second. Because I didn't know Coldplay was still around.
- [42:40]
Host 1
As I saw that on TikTok. It was like, this is how I find out that Coldplay is touring.
- [42:46]
Host 2
Feel like Coldplay has. Has never gone cold at any point. Like they've just non stop been playing. So we see the CEO.
- [42:58]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [42:58]
Host 2
And cpo, which. What the is no chief people officer. What the is a chief people officer?
- [43:06]
Host 1
It's like head of hr.
- [43:07]
Host 2
Why not just call her hr? Because like what is Chief people? So were they both married and then they were together or one was married and one wasn't.
- [43:17]
Host 1
What?
- [43:17]
Host 2
Or like what?
- [43:18]
Host 1
Really? Just like my world is like everyone knew. Right? Like they were in a suite with multiple people and like their relationship wasn't a secret to just themselves. And that's embarrassing. Like they embarrassed the out of so like their families so badly. Like not only was it what. Like they were comfortable enough to do that in a public place around people they both know. Which means that other people were keeping their secrets too. That's gross.
- [43:55]
Host 2
But it's not the other people's like, place to like say Something, I don't know, I. They don't have to co sign it, but like to blame them in any way, shape or form, I feel like it's not fair.
- [44:05]
Host 1
No, I'm not saying it's their fault. I like for these two people to put other people in that situation is disgusting.
- [44:11]
Host 2
No, for sure, because they probably worked, work with them, have like sort of working relationships with them and so now they feel like, okay, if I tell the secret, my job is on the line and that's not fair. But just even from like a moral and ethical standpoint, like, you don't want to put someone in that position. Right.
- [44:26]
Host 1
Like I said, I heard they both got fired and the per. The other woman that was there got fired too.
- [44:33]
Host 2
Like, at some point in your life, you're no longer lying for other people to have, like to cheat. Right. Like when you're in high school, you're like, oh, Sam with you. Or like, oh, yeah, I'm at your house and you're actually not. Not. But like, at some point in your life you have to be like, okay, I'm not doing this. I don't want to associate myself with that anymore.
- [44:51]
Host 1
I couldn't agree more. I saw this guy popped up on my TikTok and he was saying how he was like, I don't associate with myself. Like, don't, don't cheat around me. Or I'm telling, like, I'm ratting. Like, I'm not that person. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to be around someone that wouldn't tell me if someone was cheating. So like, I'm not gonna.
- [45:13]
Host 2
How do you feel about that? Like, would you tell somebody?
- [45:16]
Host 1
Hell yeah.
- [45:16]
Host 2
You would?
- [45:17]
Host 1
Yeah. I mean, situationally, like, I think, but I would. But also if my someone close to me was cheating on their significant other, I would also have heavily worded conversations with them because, like, I've actually never been in that situation.
- [45:35]
Host 2
Yeah, I don't, I don't want to be involved in any of that. Don't.
- [45:38]
Host 1
Don't bring it around, man. No, I'm too old. I'm too old for that. Moral of the story. I already said it like a million times, don't cheat. Anytime that thing pops up on my phone though, it like makes me sick to see Me too. Like anytime, like the whole Coldplay concert thing, anytime it pops up, I can't even watch the videos.
- [46:01]
Host 2
I'm like, do you think that relationship will survive then?
- [46:04]
Host 1
The. That was a full on relationship. Like those people were in love with each Other.
- [46:09]
Host 2
Yeah. So do you think they'll survive them.
- [46:11]
Host 1
Together or them with their significant other?
- [46:13]
Host 2
No, them together. Do you think they'll stay together now that they're trauma bonded?
- [46:16]
Host 1
I don't know.
- [46:18]
Host 2
Here's the thing though. Like, I'm not a black and white person, so I feel like there are gray areas. Not saying that cheating is okay, but if I'm in a 20 year marriage and I'm working and I meet somebody and it organically happens, it's like, that's like, like part of life, right? Like it's bound to happen. If you're in a 20 year marriage and the marriage is just dull, nothing's happening. I could see how a relationship would. Yeah, could happen. There was a mom in my neighborhood who always acted like she was the CEO of the Group Chat. PTA queen. Organic snacks only if your kids. If your kid wasn't reading by age 3, she had an opinion. She once told me, quote, some moms just aren't meant to work and parent at the same time. End quote, to my face because I had to miss a bake sale for a work meeting. Anyway, her perfect kid ended up being the one who taught mine how to say the F word. Then she found out her husband had a whole second phone and was texting a co worker who wasn't listed anywhere in their company directory. Now she's on Facebook saying, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Is it karma or is it chaos? That's pure comma, karma.
- [47:23]
Host 1
Yeah, we. It's 2025. We're. Stop. Stop shading moms and their ability to work, to work and parent, y'. All. Like, everyone has a different life. Like, that's just the way things are. Some people don't have to work. Great. Happy for you. Some people are gonna have to work, and that's also perfectly fine. Like, why are people shading?
- [47:53]
Host 2
I'm never going to a bake sale.
- [47:56]
Host 1
So.
- [47:58]
Host 2
Work or not, work or not, I won't be there. So I wouldn't judge somebody else that did that.
- [48:05]
Host 1
Baked goods.
- [48:06]
Host 2
I love baked goods, but I don't want to bake them.
- [48:08]
Host 1
Yeah, true. But when you go to the bake sale, you buy. Yeah.
- [48:12]
Host 2
Or I have to work it and I'm not working it.
- [48:15]
Host 1
Becoming a mother has really put into perspective. Just let people do what is best for them. I hope I have good kids and I hope people give me grace if my kid's a piece of. Because it wasn't. Probably wasn't my fault.
- [48:33]
Host 2
No, it was.
- [48:35]
Host 1
I don't know about that.
- [48:36]
Host 2
It's your fault.
- [48:38]
Host 1
We'll see.
- [48:39]
Host 2
It's probably my fault too. Don't go to bake sales. Miss all of them for meetings. Actually, don't even show up to the meeting. Quit your job, quit your job, move to Delaware. Delaware, Delaware and where? Become my friend. Quit your job, move to Delaware. On that note, where can people find you and where can people listen to for the Haters Podcast for the Haters.
- [49:06]
Host 1
Can be listened to anywhere you find your podcast. Spotify, Apple, Amazon, Amazon. Listen like subscribe Share Comment Love.
- [49:18]
Host 2
You can watch this full video episode on patreon.com Kaylaery you can write in your Is it karma or is it chaos? Stories at info@karmakaospodcast.com and on that note, we'll see you next week.
- [49:32]
Host 1
Love you.
- [49:32]
Host 2
See ya. Foreign.
- [49:51]
Advertiser
Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay Never. I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blake Lee Thornton. Join us for Yesterdays, the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled to up during dial up, those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Benifer, Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch and so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple, podcast, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and cash, app ach or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know we're gay today.