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- [00:12]
A
Hello, Rebecca.
- [00:13]
B
Good morning.
- [00:14]
A
Good evening.
- [00:14]
B
Good day, good night.
- [00:16]
A
How are we feeling?
- [00:17]
B
I feel good. Yeah? I feel good. I'm leaving tonight. Today. Leah's college friends are all getting together this weekend, so they rented a house. So I'll be away for a couple days.
- [00:33]
A
Is. Are you taking Bex with you?
- [00:34]
B
We are. So a bunch of her friends. You met Katie and Lindsay. They have Ollie, who's a couple months older than Bex, Remember?
- [00:44]
A
Yeah.
- [00:45]
B
And then their other friend has like. He must be like one and a half. I don't know. And then the other friend has 6, 7 month old, so there's like a bunch of. All the kids are meeting besides Ollie for the first time. Natasha will be there.
- [01:05]
A
I just love Natasha so much. I keep the little note in my wallet. I'll have to send you guys a picture so we could post it on socials. As someone who got the full college experience, you. I'm speaking of you, not of me. Because I went to college, but I didn't get the full college experience. Do you think that it would be beneficial? So. And Elliot and I have not had these conversations just yet because he's only a sophomore still.
- [01:37]
B
Yeah.
- [01:38]
A
There was a time where he was like, well, I can go get certified in ASL and don't necessarily have to go to college for asl. Hold that thought.
- [01:46]
B
Okay. Do you want to say hi to Akil?
- [01:51]
A
You want to say Doug, what's doing? Hello.
- [01:58]
B
Who is that?
- [01:59]
A
Hello, Bex.
- [02:01]
B
Hello. Wow.
- [02:06]
A
Hello. You getting some hair? You getting some hair? No. Yeah, you getting some hair? Oh, look at those cheeks.
- [02:19]
B
Wake up.
- [02:21]
A
Hi. Look at that baby. Look at that baby. Look at that baby. He's like, what the hell is going on?
- [02:30]
B
He's like, can I hear. Say hi?
- [02:33]
A
He's looking at himself because he's like, what is that?
- [02:38]
B
Can I make you big? No. You gonna say hi? Are you gonna say hi? Hi. So funny.
- [02:52]
A
He's like, what is going on?
- [02:54]
B
He's like, what is all this? Isn't he so big?
- [02:58]
A
So big. He literally looks like he's eight months old. Hi, Max.
- [03:03]
B
Okay, continue.
- [03:05]
A
Okay. So you got the full college experience. Ellie and I had a conversation before where he could go get certified for ASL to do whatever he wants with ASL without going to college. But my thoughts now. And not every. Not every child is going for me. College is not for everyone. Right? But Elliot, I know what his potential is. I know what he could gain from going to college. Do you think now that you've. You've gotten your master's do you think that from an experience standpoint it would be good for him to go to college?
- [03:43]
B
I think because Elliot has the means to go to college as well, where it's not gonna set him back in life. Like a lot of the time, like, people are set back because of. They leave college with all these bills and all the things. I think that as a queer person especially, he should go to college and go somewhere out of state because, like, that it's, it's so formative of how you find yourself and how you become who you truly are because you finally get to meet other people who like, are living authentically themselves. You get to meet other people who have different life experiences than you. Like, college was the best years of my life. Like, and, and I mean that in every form and fashion because, like, that's how I became who I. I wouldn't be who I am without going to college. Because I just. Cause like the people I met and like the exposure to the real world and exposure to different cultures and different being, like just different people, like, educate. From an education standpoint, I don't think that there's of like, that value, but the experience of itself and the people I met and the like, networking that I did through college is why I am who I am.
- [05:05]
A
Well, I just look at like for you and Leah specifically, I got to meet some of Leah's college friends and it sounds like, and it just sounds like some of the best friendships in her life came from college.
- [05:18]
B
100 and some of mine too. Ryan is college, Spencer is college.
- [05:24]
A
Right.
- [05:24]
B
Like, all. Morgan is college. All the. Like, I still have a group chat with my college friends. Like, some of the best part, like the best parts of me are from my college experience.
- [05:38]
A
It's just important to note too, like, and I've said it, but I want to reiterate because people love to only hear what they want to hear. We're speaking about a circumstance where Elliot does have the financial means that it would not set him back. Because if that comes to. I agree with you. Like, maybe it may be not worth it if you're going to come out of college with a degree that might. Because here's the thing, it's like a catch 22. Because in today's society and economy and everything else, I'm like, unless you're going to go be a doctor, a lawyer, you know, something that a nurse that like, you need the college education, it's more what. It's more who you know, not what you know. And like I said, college is not for everyone. But I think in his specific circumstance, it would be so much more beneficial for him. Where, like, Lincoln has been talking about being a barber for his whole life. He might not need to go to college. But then you look at the. His situation too is like, he could have a really cool college experience and still go be a barber.
- [06:37]
B
But, like, that's what I mean. Like, there's no. If there's no other time in life that you get to have in a privileged way, right? Like my I, I played sports in college, it paid for some of my college. And then like, my parents covered the rest of my undergrad. And so, like, I know that I'm privileged in my experience. And I'm not saying, like, be mindful, like, don't go to some college that's like 100k a year. You know, like, that's, it's just not, not worth it unless you're going for, you know, being a doctor, being a lawyer, whatever that is. It's like, there's no other time in life that you don't. You, you get to learn about responsibilities without having those responsibilities, right? Like, you get to make mistakes. You get to meet people. Like, you just like, it's, it's.
- [07:26]
A
I don't.
- [07:26]
B
I just. I had such a great college experience that like, I wish it for everyone. I look at my niece, like, my niece Kyla, who's at Westchester in, outside of Philly, she is fudgeing, thriving. Like, she, like, she looks great, she feels great. Like she met all of her, like, friends that are going to be friends with her for the rest of her life. She has this like, solid group of, of people there. She's finding herself. She's, you know, and like, she's learning responsibilities. Like, she's not privileged. Like, she's paying for herself for college. And luckily, like, it's at Westchester's estate school, so it's not as expensive and so. But like, I'm just so happy for her. Like, she's like, that's that next step that's really gonna take her off into whatever she's gonna become, right? Like, I don't know. I've always been a huge.
- [08:23]
A
But like, you and Leah have now become like my who I'm looking to for stuff like that. Shockingly enough, everyone in my mom's family went to college. They went to like, Penn State, shockingly enough. But I don't really talk. I don't have like, that sort of relationship to ask them about it. I also think, like, it's different times now. Than when they were in school. But like, I told Elliot because he said something to me about, like, travel and stuff. And I said, well, you can study abroad. I said, that's an option while you're in college. I said, my biggest fear for you is that if you want to take a year or two off, you will not have the same experience if you go right out of high school. And I say that because I told you and I think I told Lindsay on another episode is like, my lawyer told me that I would have a vastly different experience going to law school now versus when I was fresh out of high school. For sure.
- [09:14]
B
Yeah.
- [09:15]
A
Because I don't have the time to put into networking and events and this and that. And, you know, it sounds good to have a gap year. It sounds good to take a year or two off. But my fear is that he'll be so far out of that mindset that he will not have the same college experience that he would have straight out of high school.
- [09:32]
B
I love that you brought up traveling abroad because I also traveled abroad and I delayed myself from graduating a semester for. Because I traveled abroad. And that was also one of the best decisions that I ever made.
- [09:47]
A
Would you ever be willing to talk to Elliot about it?
- [09:51]
B
My travel, I. I still am, like, friends with people that I met. Like, Like, I'm not friends, but, like, I still stay connected with people in different countries that like, I met in my travel abroad experience. Like, I, like, I thrive traveling. I traveled, so it was so much fun.
- [10:09]
A
So you lived in Spain for like four months?
- [10:11]
B
Yeah, I lived in Barcelona for four months. Like, I traveled. I took like 20 flights in those four months of just going to different places. Traveling abroad is not as expensive as most people would think. Like, your tuition just transfers over, so you're just like paying the same that you would have you. The only hard thing is, like, I worked and had to save to be able to spend for four months, right? So, like, to be able to have fun and really get to enjoy that experience. But, like, they set up. Like, I went to Morocco. I went and traveled throughout like Morocco and different parts of Africa for two weeks. Like meeting families. Like, I just have such a strong experiences from that. And like, I've said this before, like, my queerness was not the route that took me away from religion, but like traveling abroad was because I met so many people of different faiths. And so just being able to see how people live, right? Like seeing third world situations, seeing different, like, places of it just like makes you see how much bigger the world is than what we're living here and how much different people live. Like, Europeans live in such a way that, like, life comes before anything, right? And like, that's just such a cool perspective to have. And you get to meet so many people. And like, choosing the right place to study abroad, like, really makes a difference too. I wish I could go. Imagine going to be able to live in Europe again for four. Like, what other time of life can you do that?
- [11:50]
A
Skims Pajamas at this stage in my life, with seven kids who are finally sleeping through the night, I am really focusing on the quality of my sleep for me, and that includes what I wear to bed. If I'm not comfortable, I'm not sleeping well. But skims has the best pajamas. I literally feel so much better when I sleep in good fabrics. I got two sets, heather gray and cypress green, because I'm obsessed with skims pajamas.
- [12:14]
B
I got the deer print one.
- [12:17]
A
Did you really? That's so on brand for you.
- [12:19]
B
We love holiday pajamas over in this house anytime. Every time we get to this point. I will never forget the quality of what skims pajamas brings.
- [12:29]
A
Unmatched. You cannot compare any other pajama to skims pajamas. I have two of the sleep sets, like I said, Cypress green and heather gray. And you guys can shop our favorite pajamas@skims.com after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and select Karma and Chaos in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is Now open@skims.com A.
- [12:56]
B
Quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. You know your pet is a part of the family. You do pretty much anything for them, right? But those vet bills? Yeah, they can add up quicker than you'd think. That's why it's worth checking out. ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. Pet insurance can help manage the vet bills so you can focus on what really matters. Making sure your pet gets the care that they need when they need it. Oh, and here's a little bonus. There's a perk for enrolling.
- [13:27]
A
When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25Amazon gift card. It's a little treat while you're doing something great for your pet. The program offers customizable accident and illness plans, making it easier to get your pet the care they may need. It's been around for almost 20 years and has covered nearly 1 million pets in that time. You can tailor your plan to fit your budget, your lifestyle, and your pet's particular quirks. Because big vet bills never show up when it's convenient, do they? I know this because I just had my dog at the vet. But you guys can Explore coverage with ASPCA pet insurance.com Karma that's ASPCA pet insurance.com Karma eligibility restrictions apply. Visit aspcapetinsurance.com Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. No, I agree. That's why I was trying to tell Elliot, like, there are ways to do. Because he was like, I might take a year off to go travel. There are ways to do that without taking a year off 100% about. Not. And whatever. He's going to make whatever decision is best for him. But, like, if I could just guide him in the right direction is, like, there. And I told him the other day, I said, I would rather see you attempt to go to college right out of high school. Drop out. This is just my own personal opinion. And drop out because it's not for you and you want. You would rather travel than to take a year off or take two years off that turns into five years and then never, never go back.
- [15:11]
B
Yeah.
- [15:13]
A
Try to do it first. And then I don't see.
- [15:17]
B
I can just see him just thriving in college.
- [15:21]
A
Well, he's. I mean, he's a high honor roll student. To your point. He has the means to go to college. Honestly think I could see him getting scholarships for either academic or the ones that you like. You can go online and like, apply for 500 scholarship. Period. And I just, I don't know, I feel like it would be. He would be doing himself a disservice.
- [15:43]
B
I completely agree.
- [15:45]
A
Okay, well, we're gonna go tell him.
- [15:47]
B
That I'll have a talk with him too, the next time I see him. Because, man, I would give anything to go back to college. Bex, are you gonna go to college? Are you gonna go to college? Yeah. But it's funny though, because if you asked Leah, Leah had a different college experience. Like, she didn't get. But she like, gained all these. I don't know. Because she didn't have like, the party and the fun and like, she was medical. Yeah. She's a pa, so she didn't get that that side of things. But I mean, it's still like, it's such a great transition too of like living on your own and taking care of yourself and, and like being responsible for yourself and all. I don't know. I just like wish I could go back to college.
- [16:39]
A
You're like, I just want to go experience it one more time.
- [16:42]
B
I've like, literally.
- [16:44]
A
Is there anything that you would do differently?
- [16:46]
B
I say that I don't know if I would play sports like right off the bat, but like, I don't know if I would have had the same experience if I wasn't a student athlete first. Like I knew all the people I knew because like I was a student athlete first and foremost and so. But like being an athlete in college isn't all that fun.
- [17:12]
A
Why do you say that?
- [17:13]
B
Because it gets political, right? Like you get to a level of play where it's no longer like you are of monetary value. Like you're either getting paid to play or you're, you know, so they're. You're like tradable and so I don't know, it makes, it takes away from things.
- [17:34]
A
So like if you're not like a starting player, top of the line, whatever, like you are replaceable. You are just.
- [17:42]
B
Yeah, yeah. Like I got cut. Like a new coach came in our junior year and cut everyone with money to bring in her own players and like kept. Kept people as well. Like walk ons and stuff. So it's just a weird.
- [18:00]
A
What does that mean?
- [18:01]
B
Walk on?
- [18:03]
A
No, you said that she brought in her own players. Like what do you mean?
- [18:06]
B
Yeah, like recruit. Like coaches like to have people that they recruited to. Like sometimes they'll like just start fresh and bring in recruits that they have or want.
- [18:16]
A
So if you go to college as a college athlete, you can be cut at any time.
- [18:20]
B
Yeah.
- [18:21]
A
What, what if you have a scholarship?
- [18:24]
B
They can take that money right away for any reason. I mean, there has to be a justified reason.
- [18:33]
A
Yeah, but like say all six of my boys got into the same college at the same time. They're all gonna go play soccer. They gave them all scholarships of some sort. And then another kid comes along, wants to transfer to the school. They could take the money away from my kid to 100 better.
- [18:51]
B
Yeah, yeah, but they would do it in like shady ways too. Like, like they. A coach could make your kids life hell where they want to quit. Like it's not, you know. Did you watch the Alex Cooper documentary? Like the basic. No. Like, yeah, a coach can like manipulate you and not, not great so if you're looking for a college for your kids to go to school and play at, make sure you like the coach and make sure that their position is secure.
- [19:26]
A
Elliot is obviously not an athlete, but Lincoln and Lux and Creed, I would imagine will.
- [19:32]
B
I would too.
- [19:33]
A
They probably want to play sports in college if they choose to go to college. Creed just turned five all of a sudden. First of all, kindergarten has matured Creed in ways that I never saw coming. He's a different person now. He was the. I don't even, like, just so good.
- [19:56]
B
He said that he's so proud of himself too. He like. Yeah, when we were at the game, he was talking about it, like, how good he's. I forget. He, like, said something like. Like how he's doing. So, like, he's good there. Like he's doing good. I don't. I forget what that word for.
- [20:15]
A
And he told me last night. And, mom, I don't want you to tuck me in because I'm big now. I'm 5 and 5 year olds don't need you to lay with them anymore. And I'm like, you sad? Yeah, because I'm like, I'm gonna go away with Lincoln and Lux. But I was gonna say that to say, like, it's so funny because I asked Creed this morning when I dropped him off. I said, what sports do you like better? Soccer, basketball or football? And he's like, football. All he wants to do is watch football highlights. Can you turn football on? Can you turn football on? I started the college athlete conversation about Elliot and Lincoln, whatever. But Creed, too, like, he's gonna play sports. I just feel it. And so I wonder for him too, like, what that would look like. I don't play sports in college. Thought about playing lacrosse for dsu. Never did. It would have been a walk on. Probably would have been a bencher. I did not know that. It was so political. And I didn't know that they could take scholarships away from people. I had no idea.
- [21:15]
B
Oh, for sure. That's why, like, you're owned. Like, at that point, like, you're owned. You have, like, you have to follow their rules or take that as you wish. I'd like to hear horror stories. Anyone? Any student athletes that are listening, send them in. Send in your horror story.
- [21:31]
A
I don't know if I want to hear them.
- [21:32]
B
What are you eating?
- [21:34]
A
Jersey Mike's.
- [21:35]
B
Wow. I could go for a nice Sammy.
- [21:40]
A
I would have ordered Indian food, but I'm the only one that eats it.
- [21:43]
B
So any current food or drink obsessions with you lately, like, what's the new. What's the new vibe over there?
- [21:50]
A
Ghost came out with a new flavor called raspberry cream. It's so good. I bought a whole case of it.
- [21:55]
B
Is it like milky? You could say yes, because that's what I'm hoping for.
- [21:58]
A
It tastes like it's milky, but it's not milky. You know, like cream sodas and things like that. Yeah, that.
- [22:05]
B
I want to try it.
- [22:07]
A
Yeah, it's so like, raspberry cream is so good.
- [22:09]
B
I'm going to go get one after the call.
- [22:11]
A
Yeah, do it.
- [22:13]
B
I have a new obsession right now, and I posted it. I don't know if you saw my story, but. So when I was going through what I was going through, my friend doordashed me dinner. Nice, right? And so, but it was funny because what she sent was she sent a Caesar salad bag mixed, like mixed bag rotisserie chicken, sourdough bread, like to make a meal out of. And so I made a chicken Caesar salad sandwich. And it was so good. And Lee and I remade it last night or two nights ago or whenever it was. And if you need to try it, get a rotisserie chicken and get Caesar salad. Mix it together. You want to make sure the ratio is high on chicken because you really want lettuce. Okay. For all the children, non children that are listening, you. The important part of this is the bread. Get a freshly baked sourdough or some type of nice bed bread from a bakery. Cut it, toast it, slap on mayonnaise, Put it on, eat it.
- [23:30]
A
So good. Mayonnaise again.
- [23:32]
B
Mayonnaise.
- [23:34]
A
No, slap on mayonnaise forever. Why mayonnaise?
- [23:41]
B
You're gonna cancel me over the way I say mayonnaise?
- [23:47]
A
What the is mayonnaise?
- [23:51]
B
Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise.
- [23:54]
A
You're sick in the head.
- [24:00]
B
This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Shorter days don't have to be so dismal. It's time to reach out and check in on those that you care about and to remind ourselves that we're not alone. As seasons change and days grow darker sooner, it can be a tough time. For many this November, Better Help is encouraging everyone to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind the people in your life that you're there. Just as it can take a little courage to send that message or grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can also feel difficult too. But it's worth it. And it almost always leaves people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner.
- [24:41]
A
I have absolutely loved my journey in therapy and BetterHelp has quality therapists that work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and they have a therapist match commitment. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. You fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences and they have 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means that they typically get it right the first time. If you're anything like me, you might need to find the right therapist. The first or second one might not be right for you, but the good thing is that with Better Help you can switch to a different therapist at any time for no additional cost. And there are over 30,000 therapists, so better Help is one of the largest online therapy platforms having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews this month.
- [25:34]
B
Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10 off for their first month@betterhelp.com Karma that's better H E L P.com Karma this episode of Karma.
- [25:53]
A
And Chaos podcast is brought to you by booking.com I've gotta say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world, and for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. And that's billion with a B. But here's the thing. Most vacation rental hosts don't even realize they can list their properties on booking.com and if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of Booking.com travelers worldwide. After all, they can't book what they can't see, right? But once you start listing on booking.com, your property gets seen by a massive global audience of unique travelers. That means more visibility, more bookings, and more opportunity to accelerate the growth of your rental business. And it couldn't be any easier. You can register your property in as little as 15 minutes, and nearly half the hosts get their first booking within a week. So if your vacation rental isn't listed on booking.com, it could be invisible to millions of travelers searching the platform. Don't miss out on Consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com foreign.
- [27:01]
B
Let me show you a picture of this Sammy. Here she is in all of her glory.
- [27:05]
A
Oh, wow. It looks good. It's giving.
- [27:08]
B
Oh, that's the guy that we were talking about last episode.
- [27:12]
A
Do you think that's really him?
- [27:14]
B
Yeah, it's his Facebook.
- [27:16]
A
He's absolutely disgusting looking.
- [27:20]
B
Yeah. Anyhow, bullying me. Yes. And me. People I like. People don't normally bully me and I normally don't give a shit either. But there was just something about him that, like. It was just, like, constant.
- [27:36]
A
Why do people who look like that feel like they can bully other people? Like, you need a haircut and a beard trim. A shape up.
- [27:46]
B
Yeah.
- [27:47]
A
Before you come at my neck for anything.
- [27:50]
B
I agree. What are your Halloween plans? Do you celebrate Halloween?
- [27:54]
A
No, I don't. Okay.
- [27:58]
B
Do your kids go trick or treating with their dads? I didn't know you were the Grinch of Halloween as well.
- [28:05]
A
I'm the Grinch of all holidays. They're going with their dads. I plan on reading a book.
- [28:13]
B
Okay. What book are you on?
- [28:16]
A
I'm still reading the Surrogate. Truthfully, it is October 23rd. Shout out to Kristen. Happy birthday. I have not finished even a single book this month. I have been so worn out and tired. So I hope to read. That is the first weekend that I don't have any kids this month. So I plan on reading a book.
- [28:34]
B
Fourth wing.
- [28:36]
A
I'll start Fourth wing on Halloween.
- [28:39]
B
That's a great day to start. Fourth Wing.
- [28:41]
A
I have the whole day.
- [28:43]
B
It's the dramatic side you're gonna listen to. I think you should listen to the dramaticized audio.
- [28:47]
A
Okay. All right.
- [28:49]
B
If that's your thing. I don't like dramatic. Dramatic whatever. I just finished a book last week or two days ago. Remember I finished it when I told you I was crying on the way to the Flyers game because of the book? You know that. My issue, though, is Sarah J. Maas is a huge author. Right. People love her. She wrote Acotar. The Acotar series. She wrote the Throne of Glass series. I'm reading Crescent City now, and I don't relate. I can't say that this. I'm only. I just finished the first book, but I can't say that it sits in the same, like, standings as Throne of Glass and acotar. The first 85. 80% of this book was not good. Like, I really had to push myself reading through it. And I don't know, it, like, felt juvenile. It felt. Maybe it was because most of the fantasy books I read are based in archaic times. Like, it's not an advancement at all, really. But that's weird because. Anyway, and so this book is based in modern time. Like, they have cell phones, they have like, access to. It's like a normal life. I don't know.
- [30:08]
A
It takes away from the reading experience with all of that.
- [30:12]
B
Yes, but the last 20% of the book was like, mind blowingly good.
- [30:17]
A
No, but we need to talk about that because I have a book in mind that's not fantasy. The first 85 was mediocre at best, and the last 15% was like, still could tell you about it to this.
- [30:29]
B
Day, the best reading I've ever read. Yeah.
- [30:31]
A
And I like, bald my eyes out at the last 15%. And it's like, like I pushed through because of the nature of the book, like the topic. But the first 85%, I'm like, what the fuck am I reading?
- [30:44]
B
What do you, what do you rate those then?
- [30:46]
A
Three. That's three. Because it's like, yeah, very middle of the road. Like, the filler content or whatever is like, okay, I know that they're getting to something. It just sucks because, like, the ending will make or break a book. But the. I had to push through this one that I'm talking about. And just for a little backstory. Mom has two kids, son is a pedophile and knows he's a pedophile and wants to end his own life because he can't stop the urges. No matter how much rehabilitation he goes through, he can't stop. And he knows he's sick, so he wants to end his own life. And his mom has to make the difficult decision of helping him or not to end his own life because this is an illness that he'll never recover from. And so that's the backstory of the book. And reading books like that because it's a very good conversation starter. It's a good book discussion for like book club.
- [31:51]
B
Yeah.
- [31:51]
A
But also, like, surely that has to be like a real life scenario.
- [31:55]
B
100%. But like, like just to like, think.
- [31:58]
A
Of life and like, from a new perspective or like, would you participate in something like that? Could you empathize with someone enough to know, like, there is no way out of it? You know what I mean? So like, anyway, I say all that to say that the, the, the idea behind the first 85% of the book was so, so, so good. The execution and the writing of it was absolutely Trash.
- [32:18]
B
Yeah.
- [32:19]
A
So, like, what do you rate those books? Three.
- [32:21]
B
Three?
- [32:21]
A
Yeah. Same because it's just like middle of, like, the intention was good. The. The idea was there, but the execution was mediocre.
- [32:28]
B
It's just that, like, the end of this book was so good. Like, it like, consumed me. I haven't even started the second one because I'm still, like, consumed by the end of the book. It was just. It was so good.
- [32:43]
A
Interesting.
- [32:44]
B
Anyway, I'm gonna read book two and see what. See where we go from there. I'm committed to the series. Do you know what your kids are being for Halloween?
- [32:52]
A
Elliot probably is doing a trunk or treat for school, so I'm not sure what he'll do. This is who Lincoln's gonna be.
- [33:00]
B
Oh, okay.
- [33:01]
A
Monster Creed is going to be Superman. And then I think Lux is going to either be Spider man or Batman.
- [33:08]
B
And what about the littles?
- [33:10]
A
Not sure about the babies. I don't know if Elijah has plans to take them out or not. They're still little and don't really understand the concept of trick or treating. But he might be taking them out with like, his cousins or something.
- [33:20]
B
I think Leah ordered Bex a cow costume.
- [33:24]
A
The cutest fucking thing. Make it a T I beanie, baby.
- [33:28]
B
I could just put a ty on the cow. Yeah, I think we're gonna just go into town. We have. One of our friends has two kids and I think it would just be fun to like, walk around.
- [33:40]
A
Yeah, because like, he's so young to get candy, but like, it's still a fun experience.
- [33:44]
B
But I also love candy, so maybe I'll.
- [33:46]
A
No, I know. I'm saying, like, you can eat the candy.
- [33:49]
B
Will people give an adult candy?
- [33:52]
A
I don't.
- [33:53]
B
I don't feel like an adult.
- [33:54]
A
You know, I wonder. Like, I don't even feel like I have an adult body. Like I have. You know what I mean? Like, I look in the mirror and I'm like, am I in college? Like, am I a college student? Like, I feel like older, like 30 and 40 year old bodies are different, you know?
- [34:15]
B
Yeah. Yeah, I guess I don't even feel like I have an adult body. Like, you're not. You haven't really fully gotten through puberty yet.
- [34:31]
A
I literally feel like mentally I'm still before puberty.
- [34:36]
B
Oh, okay.
- [34:39]
A
Oh, and according to one of my kids dads, I do need a mental health evaluation. So maybe that would give some answers to why I feel like this.
- [34:49]
B
All right. Anyway, listen to this. What happened to me?
- [34:54]
A
What happened to you?
- [34:55]
B
So when I leave I don't leave my house to go out of town. I don't leave my house often. But when I do, I make sure that I consume food that I don't have access to. So if, like, I'm going to, like, you know, anywhere, I'm making it a point to get access to food that I don't have access to. So I go down to Red bank, go to a friend's kid's birthday party. Leah and I are about to leave. I say, let's find a nice ramen place to go to, right? I want to eat ramen. So I scroll Google and I'm like, oh, these pictures. This looks really good. Let's go here. It's 30 minutes away, but basically on the route home. It was fake. It was not a real place. It was not there. We brought us to no building, nothing. It was a fake. Listening. I'm pissed. What?
- [35:55]
A
Was it there once upon a time?
- [35:56]
B
No, it was not a building. It was not there. There was nothing there.
- [36:02]
A
Who do you contact about that?
- [36:04]
B
Jesus. I was so mad. And thankfully, the only silver lining was Bex was sleeping. So I was like, all right, I'll find another place. It was 30 minutes away. Bex can sleep for another 30 minutes.
- [36:19]
A
So did you get ramen that day?
- [36:21]
B
I did. It wasn't that good.
- [36:23]
A
And what are we gonna do?
- [36:26]
B
I don't know. You know Mr. Lee, or is it Mr. Lee's in Easton is so good. I need to go back there.
- [36:40]
A
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- [37:01]
B
Coffee alone just isn't cutting it anymore. So you figured, why not find the next level upgrade? You found Everyday Dose. If normal coffee is like a flip phone, Everyday Dose is like a smartphone. It's coffee. And yes, it tastes like coffee. But it has all these other functional benefits that get you ready for 2026. Everyday dose is coffee plus benefits. They combine high quality coffee with powerful ingredients like lion's mane and chaga, collagen protein and nootropics to fuel your brain, boost focused and give you clean, sustained energy all day long. It tastes just like coffee without the downside. No crash, no jitters, just clean, sustained energy.
- [37:43]
A
I can't afford to have jitters. And you guys can get 5% off your first subscription order of 30 servings of coffee. Plus you'll also receive a starter kit with over a hundred dollars in free gifts by going to everydaydose.com karma or entering karma at checkout. That's everydaydose.com karma for 45% off your first order. Everyday Dose is also available at your local target.
- [38:11]
B
So that happened to me, and that was not fun.
- [38:15]
A
Happened to me. And I've never heard of that.
- [38:17]
B
Really?
- [38:18]
A
No. Yes, really.
- [38:20]
B
And it was funny because Leah was like, thank God it happened to you and not to me, because she would have felt so embarrassed about it. I didn't feel embarrassed. I felt pissed.
- [38:30]
A
Yeah. If I was hungry and then show up to this ramen spot.
- [38:35]
B
And, like, the ramen in the pictures on, like, the Google, like, listing of it looked so good.
- [38:42]
A
Are you sure you didn't, like, make it up? Like, it was a mirage?
- [38:47]
B
Let me show it to you.
- [38:49]
A
Imagine people, like, order takeout and they just keep your money and never deliver ramen. Oh, wait, like, that does look really good.
- [38:57]
B
That's what I'm saying.
- [39:00]
A
But they also look like stock images.
- [39:05]
B
It looks so good. Look.
- [39:09]
A
Yeah, it does look good. And then it wasn't in existence.
- [39:14]
B
It wasn't real.
- [39:17]
A
So unfortunately for Becky, Diarrhea Awareness Week runs through Friday. Get it? This is what came up on my feed while you were showing looking up pictures, Diarrhea Awareness Week, I went to the GI doctor.
- [39:30]
B
How did that go?
- [39:32]
A
My iron is so low that I need to get iron infusions.
- [39:37]
B
You. Did you ever have to get iron infusions for any of your pregnancies?
- [39:40]
A
No.
- [39:41]
B
Interesting. That's it? That's all?
- [39:45]
A
Yeah. We're just gonna reevaluate in about six months to see if I'm still my pants.
- [39:49]
B
Okay. When's the last time you shit your pants?
- [39:54]
A
About six months ago.
- [39:58]
B
Six months ago. Okay, maybe a little longer. It's almost like you're in recovery.
- [40:03]
A
Yeah, I told her that. And I told her that my kids think it's so funny. I said. She was like, this is your quality of life. That's not funny. And I'm like, honestly, it's an exact representation of my life, actually. Like, shitting one's pants is what my life looks like.
- [40:23]
B
I mean, that's what you're known for. That's, like, the biggest thing besides Teen Mom. You're known for shitting your pants.
- [40:32]
A
Figuratively and literally.
- [40:33]
B
How funny. Speaking of t Mom. How funny. I have Two things. How funny was it when we were at the hockey game? The guy that you bought ices from was like, oh, my God, my wife loves your show. Which is so funny to me that he recognized you enough to say that.
- [40:53]
A
Well, she must be watching it a lot.
- [40:54]
B
Yeah. And he was like, my wife loves your show. And then he was like, she's a labor and delivery nurse.
- [41:02]
A
And then you go, she's had a lot of experience on that ward.
- [41:06]
B
Yeah. So funny. Do you want to. Do you want to let me run through this quiz real quick?
- [41:12]
A
Yeah, I'm excited.
- [41:13]
B
I'm going to. I'm going to do this quiz. We're going to do this quiz together. Which Teen Mom 2 star are you?
- [41:20]
A
Oh, my God. If you don't come out as me, I'm writing.
- [41:24]
B
Okay. Which best describes your ideal career path. Undeterred by life's challenges. Focusing on achieving career milestones independently, Balancing a successful business while managing family life. Concentrating on personal growth while managing family responsibilities or facing obstacles head on and striving to build a stable future. I'm going to go with balancing a successful business while managing family family life.
- [41:53]
A
Coming out as me for sure.
- [41:55]
B
How do you approach problem solving?
- [41:57]
A
Oh, no, never mind.
- [41:58]
B
Look for balance between emotional and rational decisions. Deal with problems head on, even if it means facing conflict. Tackle issues as they come with resilience. Rely on practical and well thought out solutions. I'm going with.
- [42:11]
A
And cry four times a week.
- [42:13]
B
I'm going with. Look for a balance between emotional and rational decisions. What is your parenting style? Bouncing, love and toughness to proclaim. Prepare kids for life's challenges. Structured and disciplined with a focus on providing stability. Flexible and adaptable. Adjusting as needed to different situations. Encouraging independence while maintaining a close bond. I'm going with flexible and adaptable. How would you handle relationships with friends and family? Daring and upfront, not afraid to confront conflicts. Maintain close supportive ties and strong family bonds. Independent yet supportive, yet encouraging healthy boundaries. Navigate through ups and downs, but value loyalty. Either navigate through ups and downs or maintain close supportive. I'm gonna go navigate through ups and downs. What is your approach to personal values and integrity? Consistency and hard work are key regardless of the situation. Resilience and perseverance. No matter the setbacks. Determine, determine and headstrong. Standing up for what you believe in. Independent and self reliant. Guide your actions. How do you think it's going over there?
- [43:36]
A
None of them are me. So what is your. What's the. What did you get? Who did you get?
- [43:41]
B
Hold on, let me Just like.
- [43:43]
A
Are you manipulating your answers to try to get me?
- [43:46]
B
No, I'm picking what I would do. Give me. Give me a second. I don't want to keep reading these and bug everyone on because there's seven more questions. Let me. Let me fill this out real quick. I'm gonna just read. The question is, how do you work? How do you manage work life balance? How would you. How would you say that you manage work life balance?
- [44:05]
A
I want to see what team mom I am.
- [44:08]
B
All right. Are we ready?
- [44:09]
A
I'm ready. Is it me?
- [44:12]
B
I'm pressing some it out.
- [44:17]
A
Chelsea, didn't you.
- [44:19]
B
No, I came up as Leah Messer. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You are Liam Messer. Through thick and thin, you show resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity. All right.
- [44:36]
A
Okay. I'm gonna take this quiz. I'll be so. This will be so funny if it doesn't come up. As myself. Oh, mine says, which team mom star? Which team mom2 star are you? Your result, the Unstoppable Force. And it says. Oh, it says you are Jade Klein.
- [44:54]
B
So you're not yourself.
- [44:55]
A
That's crazy work. Okay, moving on. That was insane.
- [45:01]
B
Oh, okay. There was someone that posted something in the Facebook group that I wanted to bring forward and get your opinion on.
- [45:09]
A
Oh, let's hear it.
- [45:11]
B
So this says, I need some advice. I have a friend who constantly complains about different situations. Work, relationships, parenthood, life in general. And every time I try to offer advice or possible solutions, they have an excuse for everything. It's like they don't actually want to change anything. Just vent. At this point, it's draining because the same issues keep coming up over and over. How do you handle a friend like this without being rude or completely cutting them off?
- [45:39]
A
That's someone who likes their problems. And some people like to like Misery loves Company. But I. I don't have advice for that. I would also like to receive advice for that.
- [45:53]
B
I think that if you are unable to make the mental change of, like, acknowledgment of it so that you're not putting. Don't put energy into giving advice back. Like, let them just vent. But if you're not able to make that change for yourself, then you're gonna have to, like, say or do something because that's draining. People like that are fucking. I hate it. Makes me go crazy. Just like miserable people, like, negative people all the time.
- [46:28]
A
I have a friend like that, and it. Every time a certain topic gets brought up, I think of how I was I was probably insufferable. Like, that whole five years was insufferable. You know what I mean? Like, no, like, I didn't realize how bad it was until you're out of it and I'm like, oh, my God. God, like, my friends hated my guts. What do you do, though? Because, like, you don't want to say something to the friend about it.
- [46:54]
B
You have to protect your peace. Like, you are who you surround yourself with and like, that can be so consuming. Like, you have to create boundaries.
- [47:04]
A
You don't.
- [47:05]
B
Maybe don't have to say something, but maybe try to avoid those kinds of conversations. Unless you're able to remove, like, let them vent and just, just not give any type of feedback and maybe they'll catch on that you're no longer engaging in the conversation.
- [47:21]
A
That's, you know, that's really tough.
- [47:23]
B
But, like, if all of your entire friendship is just that, like, why are you friends anyway?
- [47:29]
A
Because it sounds like the other person doesn't. Is not catching on.
- [47:33]
B
Stop answering. You know, we don't have energy. We are protecting our energy and giving energy where it's deserved. Fair, you know?
- [47:43]
A
Yeah.
- [47:43]
B
Don't you agree?
- [47:45]
A
I, I very much agree with you.
- [47:46]
B
But that's what happens. You, like, lead someone so far into, like, annoyance and just like, I don't care anymore. That's what happened. Re. I recently went through that too. I know someone that went through something and, like, I just don't care because, like, of the prior, prior situations to it. Ugh. Couldn't agree more. They're getting a bill from my therapist. I love meat. When dinner time hits and your fridge is full of question marks, Butcherbox has your back. Skip the last minute supermarket sweep or impromptu chop challenge with whatever's left in your fridge. Butcherbox delivers meat right when you need it.
- [48:33]
A
For nearly a decade, Butcherbox has led the industry with meat and seafood that's antibiotic free, hormone free, and independently verified. It's a cleaner, more trustworthy version of what you'd find at a grocery store delivered right to your door. And I promise you will not regret it. I'm pretty sure Becky got her butcher box before me and she told me about it and then I turned around and ordered the butcher box.
- [48:53]
B
Whether you're hosting for the holidays, meal prepping through the chaos, or just feeding a family with picky preferences, Butcherbox offers fully customizable plans that fit your needs and your schedule.
- [49:05]
A
As an exclusive offer, our listeners can get a free turkey or ham in their first box or choose ground beef for life plus $20 off your first order when you go to butcherbox.com karma to choose your offer and get this limited time deal with free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com karma. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you.
- [49:31]
B
You the in the past couple of episodes, I don't remember the past couple weeks when we recorded you said that you were going to be better at your spending. No more. How's that going?
- [49:43]
A
Not. I did buy Labubu for a gift for somebody so. But it wasn't for me. I have been not spending on stupid. I'm only spending on things that I need. So like the other day I went to Ulta but like it was only for the stuff that I needed to get. It wasn't for anything extra. It was like, you know, things like that. Set a budget for the triplets, birthdays because in the past I have like not really paid attention to what I've spent.
- [50:12]
B
I'm very proud of you.
- [50:14]
A
And so I was like, it made me feel good to like have that like I guess financial literacy, I don't know because like obviously I'm not in Kim Kardashian's tax bracket. But she just did an interview where she said she didn't know what the cost of like a gallon of milk was. And like I've been there. Like I, I truly could not tell you what the a bunch of bananas cost. You know what I mean? So like me going from that to putting a budget on my kids birthdays, which has never been something I've ever done, is like, I don't know. It feels good because I feel like I have. It's almost like I am using my OCD too because it's giving me something to hyper fixate on which is not spending. And I'm not saying that I'm spending perfectly this month, but it's definitely been significantly less than previous months.
- [51:02]
B
I'm proud of you.
- [51:04]
A
Yeah, that's awesome.
- [51:05]
B
The holidays are right around the corner.
- [51:08]
A
Yeah, I could do without them. So if we could just fast forward.
- [51:12]
B
The holidays are right around the corner and I love the holidays. So we're not going to fast forward through them. I don't know if I said this on here yet, but I'm going to be in Florida for the week of Thanksgiving. I'm going. Lee and I are going the 26th through December 3rd and we're going to visit my sister. The whole fam's going to. And I'm really excited. I think that we're gonna Go out on Friday and have my mom stay at home, like, at the Airbnb with Bex. And so we'll be able to, like, go dip our toes in.
- [51:50]
A
I have time out. Have you and Leah been on a date since Beck was. Bex was born without Bex?
- [51:56]
B
No.
- [51:57]
A
How old is he? Four months. Five months.
- [51:59]
B
Four months.
- [52:00]
A
And you guys haven't done anything without him at all?
- [52:04]
B
I don't know if we could. I feel like we would miss him.
- [52:07]
A
It's funny, like, when I'm not with my kids, I find myself looking at pictures of my kids and saying things that my kid, like, Rio's always like. You see that? What's that sound? And it becomes like an inside joke with the other adults that have heard me say that.
- [52:25]
B
Do you know what I mean?
- [52:25]
A
Yeah. And so, like, everything is about the. It's so weird how kids change and shape our lives.
- [52:31]
B
Yeah. I. I feel like we'll want to probably maybe do something soon, but, like, I don't know, like, go out to dinner, maybe. It'd be like a movie. Like going to the movies. Yeah, because that's something I enjoy doing.
- [52:46]
A
I. Unpopular opinion. Going to the movies is, like, my favorite thing, and I never unpopular. No, it's very unpopular. A lot of people don't like going to the movies.
- [52:56]
B
I. I could go to the movies every day and be happy.
- [53:00]
A
No, same. I love it. And I. If it's. I might fall asleep if it's a children's movie, but if it's something that I want to go see, which I want to go see. Colleen Hoover's Regretting you is going to be in theaters next week, so, like, I definitely want to go see that. But a lot of people don't go to the movies. Like, the movies have been dead for a long time.
- [53:20]
B
Are we gonna go to the movies together when the housemaid comes up?
- [53:24]
A
Immediately, yes. But where are we going? Because I do not have my kids that weekend. I need to come here right now.
- [53:31]
B
We have a good theater. We have a good theater that has the best French fries you'll ever have in your entire life.
- [53:37]
A
Okay, well, I'll be there, and I'll.
- [53:39]
B
Get my mom to watch Becks.
- [53:41]
A
No, I have to see that movie. You don't understand.
- [53:44]
B
I know. You made me read it. So, yeah, we'll go and see it.
- [53:47]
A
Can you read the. Is it karma? Is it chaos? Or do you want me to read it?
- [53:51]
B
I feel like you should read it because I read all those questions.
- [53:53]
A
Okay, first of all, I love the podcast. I commute for a living and I listen to all the podcasts, Becky's to all three of Kale's. They get me through my two hour drive from work and back. My 14 year old daughter recently came out as a lesbian. Everyone in our family supportive. Her girlfriend's family supportive. I've always taught my children love is love, no matter what it looks like. What I worry about is when she asks to spend the night at her straight friend's house. I'm scared what their family might feel feel. I worry about putting my child in a situation to hurt, to get hurt or anything bad to happen to her. I try to explain to her but she acts like I'm being dramatic. But I don't think she understands that not everyone's family is open like ours. My old, she's my oldest of six and I'm asking for advice. Should I let her stay the night at her friend's house or should I tell her not to? I don't want her to miss out on hanging out with her friends doing high school things. But I just worry and want the best for her. There's no way to hide it from the parents either. You look at her and you're like, yeah, picture included. P.S. her name is Leah, but I call her Becky. LOL. It was since she was little, she never listened to her actual name. One day I yelled out Becky and she turned and that's how she got her nickname. That's actually really funny.
- [55:01]
B
That's so funny and so cute. That is something I've actually never thought of. I wasn't out when I was younger and that makes me really sad that it's something that like has to even be questioned.
- [55:17]
A
No, but it does. Because like, for example, in high school, me and my best friend Ariel, her mom had us not sleep in the same bed anymore because she thought one of us was a lesbian. So one of us had to sleep on the couch in the room. And then so like, I think it's more from that standpoint. Like she's saying she doesn't want her daughter to go have a sleepover at a girl friend's house and then the parents are concerned because her daughter is a lesbian. And what that does. Does that make sense?
- [55:43]
B
Yeah. So I think there's two things we can do here. I don't think that we need to take the experience away from your kid. I think that we just need to create one awareness. Hey, this might happen. The parents might be uncomfortable with you guys sleeping in the same bed. Don't make a Big deal out of it. That is their house of the rules. You have to respect the rules. And then number two is opening that line of communication of I need to know if you feel safe, like I will let you go but if at any moment you do not feel safe, I want you to let me know. I'll make up an excuse that you have to come home like having that sort of safety net of, of like anything. Like I, because I do want to feel like I can give people the benefit of the doubt that people are going to not make a deal of it because like it's not, I don't know, it's not like they can create fucking kids.
- [56:41]
A
So like, I think it's just like sex in general though.
- [56:45]
B
Is it? I don't, I, I was allowed to sleep over boys houses and stuff and have sleepovers with boys because I don't know.
- [56:58]
A
That's just like Elliot. I don't have the same problem because he, his, all his friends are mostly girls. So he's very gay. And then they're not. Right. Or if they are, it doesn't matter. But for a girl being gay and going to friends houses, I think when.
- [57:14]
B
I read this, I think it's the safety of her daughter, like of, of her walking to a friend's house and the parent. Also, I don't know if I would feel comfortable with my kids sleeping over somewhere. I don't know who the parent is.
- [57:25]
A
I think it's more about ostracizing the daughter because she's gay. Like the daughter. Like them not actually wanting her there or there or to be around their daughters because she's gay. Even though you know, as a gay person, a queer person that you're not attracted. Just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you have a crush on every female that you're around.
- [57:44]
B
Sure. I, I just think it takes that open communication of like hey, we need to. But do you let your kids go somewhere that you don't know the parent?
- [57:52]
A
I will meet the parents. But like I don't know.
- [57:58]
B
Yeah, like you don't know what their like beliefs are. They're homophobic or not.
- [58:05]
A
I mean if they're homophobic, maybe don't be friends with anyone.
- [58:08]
B
True. Yeah. What a lovely hour it was to spend with you. Any minute I get to spend with you is a minute in my positivity box.
- [58:18]
A
I love that. Thank you so much.
- [58:22]
B
I'll see you next time. Hopefully. Maybe one of these days soon we can record in person.
- [58:27]
A
Where can people find you, hater?
- [58:29]
B
25 for the haters. Listen every Monday.
- [58:32]
A
All right, see you.
- [58:34]
B
Love you.
- [58:51]
C
This October, fear is free on Pluto tv. With horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity.
- [58:58]
B
The ring, you will die in seven days Scream.
- [59:02]
C
And from dusk till dawn, this is.
- [59:03]
B
My kind of place.
- [59:05]
C
And don't miss the man made nightmares in Maryland. Shelley's Frankenstein. Or the world ending chaos in 28 days later, something in the blood. All the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.
- [59:22]
D
Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that alisters might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.