Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: Gratitude Makes Life Worth Living
Date: October 14, 2025
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Episode Overview

In this candid and emotionally charged episode, Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter reunite to discuss the ups, downs, and messy in-betweens of life in their 30s. The central theme is the power of gratitude and perspective, even in the face of loss and change. Becky bravely opens up about her recent miscarriage and IVF journey while Kail shares her support and related experiences. The two also explore friendship dynamics, family joys, and find light-hearted moments amid heavy topics. The episode is a raw, honest portrayal of modern adulthood, resilience, and the healing that can come from sharing your story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reconnecting and Inclusivity in Community

• The episode opens with playful banter about time zones and the community built around their podcast and book club.
• [00:21] Kail: “We are inclusive of all countries and time zones.”
• Both hosts express excitement about new podcast merch and discuss its fashion, humorously suggesting their collective “lesbian” aesthetic.

2. Becky’s Miscarriage and IVF Journey

• Becky reveals her recent miscarriage following a successful IVF transfer that turned tragic. She describes the emotional, physical, and relational toll of IVF and loss.
• [03:08] Becky: “I think this is a part of my healing journey — letting people in. I think it’s important for us to share so that other people can feel less alone.”
• Details include the anticipation, loss of heartbeat, and difficulty of deciding between waiting or surgical intervention (DNC).
• Becky emphasizes gratitude for her existing family, especially her child Bex, and the support she received from friends and family.
• [04:06] Becky: “I came home to Bex just smiling at me… I’m so thankful for him… I’m obsessed with this child, and I’m so happy and thankful that I have him.”
• Discussion of the compounded stress of infertility, IVF medications, and the mental toll.
• [07:25] Kail: “IVF… it takes a toll on you mentally. Your body is going through one thing, but your mind is somewhere else.”

3. Honest Grieving, Humor, and Moving Forward

• Becky shares her approach to grief, using projects (like renovating her garage into an office) to stay occupied.
• Both use dark humor to cope: “Even the best fall down sometimes” [02:17] and jokes about reviving embryos with physical labor [09:52].
• Becky clarifies she is mourning not just the embryo, but the physical ordeal and what her body has undergone.
• Plans to take a break from IVF and all related efforts until next year, focusing on healing.

4. IVF, Miscarriage, and Support Systems

• Kail draws parallels to her own miscarriage experience, stressing the unpredictability and emotional complexity.
• Discusses the unique pain for those who are open about fertility journeys and the awkwardness of community responses.
• [15:09] Becky: “It’s just another life lesson… people have asked me, ‘Where are you at in your journey?’… I’m thankful to have this platform to speak through it so that I can close that chapter.”
• Critiques how society approaches and speaks about miscarriage, the taboos, and supporting those going through loss.
• Becky voices hope that her experience doesn’t inhibit friends from sharing their own happiness and milestones.

5. The Power of Gratitude and Perspective

• Becky repeatedly returns to gratitude as an anchor through loss, highlighting her joy in the family she has.
• [20:28] Becky: “I have so much to be thankful for… Like, my life is perfect right now. So anything that comes next is just an addition.”
• Both discuss the coexistence of happiness and sadness and positive reframing.
• [30:05] Kail: “Negative and positive are allowed to coexist. You’re allowed to be sad… but if you keep reminding yourself of positive things, it’s just going to help.”

6. Friendships and Support During Crisis

• Appreciative mention of friends who showed up with flowers, meals, and kind gestures, reinforcing the importance of community when facing hard times.
• Becky shares, “I don’t feel like I need to be pregnant to fulfill my life… If I try one more time and do not get pregnant… that’s okay.” [22:33]

7. Book Club, Trips, and Travel Antics

• Recap of their Salem trip, including parenting mishaps and stroller struggles.
• Hilarious public encounter with fan confusion: a child mistaking a random older woman for Kail from “16 and Pregnant.”
  [36:02] Becky: “He goes, ‘Excuse me, ma’am, were you on 16 and Pregnant?’… Kale whips her head around and starts shopping… it was so funny.”
• Future plans for annual Salem trips and tips for traveling there with kids.

8. Pop Culture, Identity, and “Teen Mom” Legacy

• Kail expresses mixed feelings about being recognized for “Teen Mom” and the challenges of outgrowing a reality TV label.
• [41:29] Kail: “I love that we’re creating a platform and a community that’s so separated from Teen Mom… I never thought that would be my claim to fame forever.”
• Lighthearted banter about Kris Jenner and glow-up aspirations.

9. Parenting Scenarios & Values

• Thoughtful debate on what they’d do if their kids gave up a D1 college spot for a romantic partner.
  [46:33] Kail: “I’m conflicted… if I’m paying for it, do I have a say?… For me, it’s about the trajectory of my child’s life.”
• Both stress the importance of independence, experience, and building connections in college beyond academics.

10. Book Recommendations & Friendly Dares

• Becky’s reading binge helps her cope; she reviews thrillers Never Lie and Housemaid, recommending them.
• Friendly reading bets lead to plans for wacky food-eating competitions.
• On reading habits:
  [59:33] Becky: “It’s a good book, and you’ll understand why fantasy is such a great genre.”
  Kail admits to never reading Harry Potter.

11. Listener Dilemma: Friendship Fallout

• Listener writes in about a fallout with an 18-year friend after a drunken misunderstanding.
  [65:24] Kail: “Seems like people have too big of an ego or pride to not talk.”
• Both recommend letting time pass, but acknowledge more context is needed.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Grief and Gratitude:
  “I came home to Bex just smiling at me… It just clicked in my head — holy shit, I’m so thankful for him.”
  — Becky [04:24]

• On IVF and Resilience:
  “IVF… it takes a toll on you mentally. Your body is going through one thing, but your mind is somewhere else.”
  — Kail [07:25]

• On Support Systems:
  “How lucky are we to have that support system in these moments?”
  — Becky [21:33]

• Life Perspective & Acceptance:
  “If Lee and I never have any more kids… we are so blessed with this perfect fucking child… So anything that comes next is just an addition.”
  — Becky [20:28]

• On Legacy and Identity:
  “I love that we’re creating a platform and a community that’s so separated from Teen Mom.”
  — Kail [41:29]

• On Positivity and Coexistence:
  “Negative and positive are allowed to coexist.”
  — Becky [30:05]

Important Timestamps

• 00:21 – Podcast inclusivity & global listeners
• 03:08 – Becky discusses miscarriage & IVF openly
• 04:24 – Gratitude amid grief
• 07:25 – The mental toll of IVF
• 11:16 – Light-hearted break with shopping talk
• 15:09 – Navigating miscarriage publicly
• 20:28 – Gratitude for family, even after loss
• 30:05 – On allowing positive and negative feelings to coexist
• 36:02 – Hilarious Salem meet-and-greet story
• 41:29 – Creating a post-‘Teen Mom’ identity
• 46:33 – Complex parenting hypothetical: college scholarships & relationships
• 59:33 – Becky on the fantasy genre’s appeal

Tone & Style

• Tone: Relatable, raw, humorous, and unfiltered. Becky leans into dark humor while delivering vulnerable truths; Kail offers grounded empathy and curiosity.
• Language: Authentic, conversational, peppered with candid anecdotes, expletives for emphasis, and a strong sense of camaraderie.

Takeaways

• Sharing Grief Promotes Healing: Becky’s openness about loss offers comfort and camaraderie for listeners going through similar struggles.
• Gratitude Changes Perspective: Both hosts highlight the transformative power of focusing on what you still have amid setback.
• Friendship and Community Matter: Shared struggles and gestures of kindness, from both friends and fans, are what carry us through tough times.
• It’s Okay to Let Joy and Sorrow Coexist: A recurring theme is that happiness does not cancel out pain — there’s space for both.
• Don’t Put Life on Pause for Others: The D1-college debate reinforces letting kids chase dreams, not relationships.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a testament to the healing power of vulnerability, laughter, and deep conversations about things we’re often taught not to say out loud. With real talk about miscarriage, family upheaval, evolving friendships, and gratitude as a tool for resilience, Kail and Becky remind listeners that even in chaos, there’s still karma — and joy — to be found.

For more, find Becky at @hater25 everywhere and tune into “For the Haters.” Don’t miss their next Salem adventure and be sure to check out Karma & Chaos merch!