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- [00:00]
A
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- [01:29]
B
Back.
- [01:29]
C
Said good morning, good evening, good night.
- [01:32]
B
Good morning, good evening, good night, good day. Whenever you're listening. Right.
- [01:39]
A
Hi. Chicken nug.
- [01:41]
B
You see those blue eyes? Yes.
- [01:46]
A
Chicken nug. Oh, he just wants loves and cuddles.
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B
Yeah, that's my boy.
- [01:56]
C
He's such a sweetie. I love this age. I know it's not everyone's favorite, but.
- [02:00]
A
I love it's not my favorite. This is the age that I love to snuggle other people's babies and give them back. But yeah, find me again when they're like 18 months. They can walk and somewhat talk.
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C
I'm sure I'll feel differently when it's my baby, like all the time. But like other people, I just love it.
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B
Who is that?
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A
I can't wait to see if he looks more like you as he gets older because I don't see you in him just yet.
- [02:23]
B
Oh my God. He's identical to my baby pictures. Really identical. Like you can't tell them apart.
- [02:32]
A
I Need to see the baby pics. Sweet baby. Look at those cheeks. See, they're jowls are cute on babies, but they're not cute on adults. That's why I had surgery. You know what I mean? Like, his heavy cheeks. Like, the heavy cheeks. They're cute on babies. He's like, what are you talking about? He looks like the boss baby right now. Back to work today. And by work, I mean podcasting with my besties.
- [03:02]
B
I really just missed you so much. And I know I said that last time, but it's great to have you back.
- [03:08]
A
Thanks. It's great to be back with you.
- [03:10]
B
It's great to be back on our.
- [03:12]
A
It is. And I have so many plans for the fall. Like, I want to do lots of stuff. I want to leave my comfort zone, AKA my house. Merch is officially out. I know we said that at the end of the last episode, but we're here to remind you that the merch is out.
- [03:28]
B
Let me tell you this. I had. Yeah, merch is out. I had. You know, sometimes you just have a really good scrolling session on TikTok. Yeah, I've been let down by Tick tock a lot lately. Like, I've just been having, like, not great experiences.
- [03:47]
A
Same. That's what I was just about to say when I said, but I have been scrolling. I'll give it five minutes and I'm not getting some good stuff. Like, I'm getting really shitty stuff that I don't care about. And I'm like, we gotta figure this out. I don't know what's going on. But yeah, I agree. I gave it five minutes and then if I can't find, if nothing's good, I'm just gonna go back to reading because that's why I cut out scrolling in the first place.
- [04:11]
B
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. But I did, like, I had like a really good, like an hour long scroll session of like, laughing and crying. And like, it was just like, wow, this is great. What a great scroll session. My other problem with TikTok is what happens to me is I'll have a random TikTok pop up of someone I like, I don't want to interact with for personal reasons. Right. We don't agree, whatever it is. There's this guy, there's this one guy that pops up on my Tik Tok and he keeps popping up because I spend 10 minutes reading the comments. So in the background, like, he's playing and it's that my algorithm thinks that I want to, like, see him, but I don't. But then it's my own fault because I spend time in his. In the damn comments. Reading, reading the comments.
- [05:06]
A
I actually hate that too, because, like, I'll see something good or funny or whatever. Like, it maybe read the comments and then that's all I see on my timeline. And I'm like, I literally don't care that much. Like, yes, the one video I liked was funny, but like, I don't want 1200 more of them. And like, I get fresh because then I'm like not seeing content that I want to see. I'm seeing that is related to one thing that I liked. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, we get a hold on this.
- [05:34]
B
Yeah, I, I literally couldn't agree more. And I, like, I've. We've talked about this before. They need to monetize comments because, like, people are so funny.
- [05:45]
A
No, and, but you know what? I need if there was a way. Because you know how if you go on TikTok and you are reading your own comments, you can reply to a comment in a video. There needs to be a way that people can reply to a video with a video. Like, I think they can, like, if they like stitch it or whatever. There has to be another way. Because those comments that you see in the comments that are like a hundred thousand likes, like, sometimes the comments are funnier for than the video. And like, I will just go for the comments.
- [06:17]
B
Like, so funny. Like, people are just like. And then like, I read them and I'm like, how are people this funny? Like, this is so quick and witty.
- [06:26]
A
But maybe also those are the same people that like, don't want to be face to camera. So they're like funny in the comments. Like, they monetize that behind the scenes. If your comment gets over 5000 likes, like, add a couple cents to their freaking.
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B
Toss them a bone.
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A
Like, give them some reason to continue to be on this app and be funny.
- [06:46]
B
Yeah, for real. Speaking of Kale, remember, you're not going to remember this. Alessandra, you're my saving grace. Because you'll probably remember. Do you remember there was one episode where I was Talking about this TikTok creator, she does like comedy skits. Like, she's always like, leave it in the comments, like, or drop it in the comments, like, about Kyle. And we were talking about it because she does like, well thought out comedy skits and how much it like takes to be able to do that.
- [07:15]
A
Okay.
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B
Do you remember? Do you remember it, Kale?
- [07:17]
C
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no.
- [07:21]
B
Wait, Christy Howard no, her name's Veronica and she does like, well thought out. Anyway, she just got announced as a new SNL cast member. Yeah, she's gonna do so good on the show.
- [07:40]
C
That's why I love social media. It like makes things possible for people that like you couldn't even imagine for like your wildest dreams.
- [07:48]
B
But that like, it makes me so proud. Like I, I've been watching her on Tick Tock for years and like we were talking about just how much time it takes to be that funny, like to put that well thought of like a script into like a full con, like sketch idea. And that's what her entire Tick Tock was. So to see her get that like recognition is like just really cool to say.
- [08:11]
A
I think that people are still sleeping on creators. Like we're seeing a little bit of a rise in creators getting bigger opportunities because of their following, but I still think they're so swept on. Like, I think that, I mean, I'm seeing creators like huge, like massive followings and I do wonder like, what is, what is like the psychology behind like not picking up somebody for a certain thing. Right. Like the Real Housewives, their daughters are getting their own show, like their own season of like the Housewives Daughters. I don't remember what it's called, but like shit like that, like, where is the teen mom kids getting their own show to talk about or even just like a where are they now special, do you know what I'm saying? Like we are sleeping on these massive creators or even like the podcast industry that has blown up. Why can certain people sustain a long term podcast? They have to be interesting enough to like Tana, Mojo and Brooke should have been had a show.
- [09:09]
B
Yeah, I guess it's also. But like their money, like there's so much money in social media that they're.
- [09:15]
A
Making that like they don't necessarily like need a show. Yeah, like, I mean, look at like Moms of Tick Tock, like the whole like Mormon Utah situation that made. Are they still filming? Like, do they have a show?
- [09:28]
C
Yep. A lot of it is too though. Is that like surprisingly. So to hire a creator depending on their following and their engagement is more money than to hire a traditional media star because creators are very expensive. So that's why you're seeing also a rise in like smaller creators and brands using those because you can. Your budget goes further and you're getting maybe more eyes on it if you're spreading it out through a bunch of people versus one person. So it's a lot about Money and then TV's dead. Like, nobody watches TV.
- [10:04]
A
You know how Teen mom showed, like, four or five of the moms and, like, the different stories. I have that myself. Or. Or we could merge the worlds, and it's like Kale's World. Becky, Alessandra, Kristen, Lindsay. Like, why can't we go that route? Because you guys all have families and different dynamics. And, you know, I think that would be really cool. And it's like, how do we make it work? And I don't know, like, how do we. How do we, like, function with, like, the friendships, but then also the work relationships? And, like, not everyone can do that. Not everyone can work together and have friendships. Like, some people, like, their friendships are over and they can't do it. You know what I mean? So I just feel like there's so many ways to spin it. But I guess to your point, like, I know Bunny was filming a reality show and putting it on her Patreon. Why? Why would she go to tv?
- [10:51]
B
I think. I mean, I've been saying it, though. You should do your own miniseries on your Patreon.
- [10:55]
C
It's also just difficult, right, like, to find when you're doing a show. Like, you know, when you were doing a Teen mom, there were days, like, they'd be like, hey, you're. I'm coming from this day to this day, from this time to this time, to film, finding time and scheduling, and then, like, a team that can also go there to record. It is just such a big endeavor that I don't think people. People don't know. They shouldn't know, right? They shouldn't know. Like, when you have a final product, that's what you want them to see. You don't need them to know everything that's going in the background because it kind of takes it away. It's also why I can't watch tv, because I'm watching all cuts. I'm watching angles. I know exactly how it's being made, and I can't watch it anymore. And it's just not enjoyable. But it definitely is just the market. There is no money. There is no money in tv. Our economy is absolutely trash. So companies and corporations are trying to go small. And then also you've got the rise of AI where you don't even need real people.
- [11:55]
B
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- [15:09]
D
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- [15:58]
A
Emily sent me a tik tok that was made solely by AI in my voice, like, my actual voice that I was like, voicing over this video and like saying all these things that were not true. And I just, I texted in the group and I was like, should I talk about this? Kristen and Kayla both said to talk about it because it'll like, raise a little bit of awareness. I'm actually terrified by the rise of AI and like, I don't. I was scared before, but I'm even more scared now because the that they were saying in this video in my actual voice is terrifying and insane.
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B
I like it was someone. If someone posted it.
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A
Yes. It's like up on Tick Tock in real life.
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B
That's terrifying. I think they're making it now that you have to, like, label it as AI.
- [16:47]
A
Okay, well, that one specifically is not labeled as AI. And what scares me is like back in 2020 when somebody that wasn't using my voice, like, pretended to be me. And obviously, like, even at that time, Chris disputed, like, no, that's not kale. No, that's not us arguing. Like, Chris disputed it on my behalf, which I was thankful for. Like they were using racial slurs back then in. In what was supposed to be my voice. Now the AI is a thing. Those same people can literally use my actual voice and say racial slurs and things like that. And it's like, what do I do at that point? Because no matter what, even if you sue, you may not get the damages back, number one. And number two, it's still out there. Some people will not know that you sued and it wasn't AI or that it was AI and that it wasn't you. So it's like the damage is already done.
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C
There was just a situation where a child committed suicide because like Chachi Beat told him to.
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A
I didn't realize chatgpt told him to.
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C
I thought he was like how to do it. But here's the thing, like, and I'm not saying that I, I'm not victim blaming by any stretch of the imagination, but he had to like keep talking to the, the bot, keep asking it specific distinct questions to get to that point. It's not like if right now you went to Chat GPT and said, how do I kill myself? They're not going to be like, hey, that's a good idea. You should go do this. Yeah, but it's the safeguards and stuff because it is so new that it's such a gray area where the family is trying to sue open AI for that.
- [18:18]
B
Yeah. I mean there's, it's a, it's a slippery road to go down. Right. Because like how do you. I, I think that the world is just going to become a place where like you don't believe anything until like unless you see it for yourself. Like in real life. Right. Like, like the bouncing bunnies on the trampoline.
- [18:40]
A
No. And the bears. I thought those were real. I was completely me trying to explain to people the water cooling system for AI. Like people were floored just like me. And I couldn't find it on Google the same way that you. I think. Was it Lindsay? I tried to show her. I think it was. Or maybe it was Emily. I don't know. Like water cooling system. Like, we should not be making efforts like that. Those are grand gestures for people to abuse AI. Like let' please just like use it for like the greater good and not for framing people into saying things they. Or like making videos. Because at the end of the day like you're gonna ruin people's lives.
- [19:17]
B
But then do you also go down the road of like it being like you could just say anything is AI. Like, that wasn't me.
- [19:27]
A
I thought about that too. Like denying. Okay, that's not me. That's not me. That's not me. You could say it until you're blue in the face, but like if it really wasn't you, like you're. This is just my own opinion, but I think I've done enough of that. So if everyone could just pick a new person to terrorize or let's just not terrorize anybody.
- [19:47]
C
Let's get some hobbies.
- [19:48]
A
Let's read let's get some hobbies. Yeah. Let's. Let's use our energy for the greater good. Let's not use AI to destroy someone's life simply because you don't like them. Because my life doesn't affect your life. Somebody else's life doesn't affect your life if. If you. They're doing something you don't like.
- [20:01]
B
Yeah. Speaking of hobbies, Kayl, how is bike riding going?
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A
It's going really well. I have been doing about half of what I was doing before my surgery, and my biggest complaint is being hunched over because I'm so tall and my seat doesn't go down any further. And then, like, no matter what, I bought this new seat for my bike. Right. It's like a wider pad or whatever. Is there any other options? Because, like, it's still going up my vagina, and it's not a good feeling. So, like, bike riding is great. Love it. Get a lot done in very little time. But it's just not comfortable.
- [20:40]
B
I think that's the whole thing with bike riding, though. I think you just have to do it consistently where, like, it doesn't bother you anymore. Like, I don't think there's a way to. I don't know any. I don't. I'm not a bike rider, so I know how to ride a bike, but.
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A
Okay. Well, I got, like. It was rubbing in my groin.
- [21:01]
B
You could get one of the seat bikes.
- [21:05]
A
What the.
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B
Is that like, a bike that, like, you're sitting down and pedaling?
- [21:12]
A
Send me a link. Do you know my kids harassed me last night when I went to bed when I. I lay with Creed sometimes to go to bed, and Lux comes in there, and he's like. And don't forget to get on the treadmill. You said you were going to use the treadmill, and it's like, you can only do so much in a day. Do you know what I mean?
- [21:31]
B
Here you go. I'm putting it in this chat.
- [21:34]
A
Oh, what is this? Oh, my God. You have one for kid. I have to have this. I have to have this. This one with the kids on the back. Are you kidding me? No, I need that. Whose idea? Did you just, like, Google that? And you were like, a seat bike?
- [21:54]
B
No, I've seen them before, and, like, I. I know they make them for people that are paralyzed, too, so that, like, you can be like, my lip is paralyzed.
- [22:06]
A
No, I have to get that. No, because the way that the kids would. No, they would love it.
- [22:12]
B
Then you can take them with you. You're all set.
- [22:15]
A
You're welcome. I need that bike. Is that a trike? It's a trike.
- [22:21]
B
It is. The one that you showed is a trike, right?
- [22:24]
A
With the fucking basket. I could go to the fudgeing farmer's market.
- [22:27]
C
Do you go to the farmer's market now?
- [22:29]
A
No. I could go to the Amish market, though. Do you go to the. I don't even think we have a farmer's market.
- [22:37]
C
You 100% have farmers markets around you.
- [22:41]
A
Where. Oliver. What Did I ever tell you guys the time that someone signed me up for Farmers Mingle, and I started getting all these emails from, like, farmer, farmers. Farmers date.
- [22:54]
C
Yeah, listen, farmers are hard workers. So they are.
- [23:00]
A
And they got money. Farming money. But now I feel bad because actually I've seen two different farmers. One was like a rescue farm, and then the other one was a horse sanctuary. Come up on my Tick Tock of like, they're on the verge of losing their farms. Could you please? They're like, we're not asking for money. We're just asking you for. To watch this video for 10 seconds or whatever. And it's farmers. And that makes me so sad.
- [23:24]
B
This country isn't built for small businesses.
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A
And then you have. People are like, shop small, shop small, shop small. And we're trying. And then they're closing down because people are not shopping small.
- [23:37]
B
Something funny happened to me, and you were involved, and I wanted to bring it up because I thought it was worth bringing up on this podcast. So you know how. No. You're involved in it. Alessandra, you're involved too. You know how TikTok, there's a feature if you're listening. If you don't have Tick Tock, Tick Tock, you can, like, share a video with people. And then sometimes if you click on a bunch of people, there's a button that says share individually or share as a group. Well, I accidentally sent a TikTok and clicked on a bunch of random, like, people that don't really know each other, but they are my friends individually. And I added them all to a group on Tick Tock and I. I accidentally sent it. And then Kale sends a video of Rose in that Tick Tock in that.
- [24:33]
C
TikTok.
- [24:38]
B
When people can't even know.
- [24:40]
C
Did you mean to do that?
- [24:42]
A
Yes.
- [24:43]
C
Oh, it was a mistake when I saw it.
- [24:46]
A
No, I was like, I feel like whoever these people are need to see this.
- [24:51]
C
You said, you know what? Bad.
- [24:54]
A
But maybe they didn't know who Rose was and they needed to know.
- [24:59]
C
No context. You Just sent it.
- [25:01]
A
Just sent it. Because you just never know who needs to see something, you know what I mean? But. But I think Kate responded and was like, rose, fans, stand up. And I was like, fuck, yeah. Like, someone. Someone fucking understands.
- [25:16]
C
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a man doing that? Where they put a bunch of women in a group chat by accident? Because I have.
- [25:23]
A
No. If that ever happened to me, I would fry them the fuck up. Like, I would get on this podcast and talk so much shit on Twitter.
- [25:31]
C
It used to be the same. A similar thing that it is on TikTok, where you could, like, you could either put it in a group or you could send it to everybody separately. Well, this man's not very smart. Sent it to every single woman in one group, and everyone was like, hello.
- [25:47]
A
Hello.
- [25:47]
B
Like, could you imagine being on the receiving side of that? And just.
- [25:51]
C
And like, I. I mean, we weren't dating or anything. You're just, like, around, you know? So I laughed. But, like, I'm sure someone in there did not laugh. Yeah, no.
- [26:01]
A
And what's funny about that is, like, now you've given up. If you were talking to multiple people in that group, you just gave it up.
- [26:08]
C
Oh, yeah. I mean, he. He literally. When he came in and saw that everybody was in there, he goes. He literally said, oh, well, jigs up. He knew he was gone. What was he gonna do?
- [26:20]
A
Oh, I would have been.
- [26:21]
C
Oh, my God, man.
- [26:24]
A
Actually, one time I went on vacation with this guy I was dating and found out that he was cheating on me with two other people. So I put him in a group chat.
- [26:33]
C
Love, Love.
- [26:35]
A
Just put them in a group chat. I was like, you know what?
- [26:37]
B
Something you would do, I wouldn't do it.
- [26:40]
A
In today's world, I would just silently exit and remove myself from the equation. Like, I'm too old. But, like, once upon a time, you were going in a group chat because at the point that you think that you're monogamous with someone and you're now being put at risk because someone is lying to you, like, that's not okay. So, like, for me, it was like my body. Like, I don't know what these other girls have. You know what I mean? I mean, like, today I would just remove myself from the equation. Actually, today I'm not putting up with anything. If someone wants to entertain other women, by all means, I just. Will you get. You don't even get the opportunity to explain yourself. You're not even getting the opportunity to be like, you know what? I will pull back on these other people. No. Like you're talking to other people and I find out I'm done. Like I'm not not.
- [27:31]
B
I'm not here for a competition.
- [27:33]
A
No. And I don't have time. I'm getting old. I want to build a life. I want to plan fun stuff. I want to like do life with someone. Like I do not have time.
- [27:46]
B
You and me both. I don't have toddlers yet, as you guys know. My baby is almost 33 months old. But so many of my friends do. And Haya is the one vitamin brand they won't shut up about. It's a pediatrician approved chewable vitamin for kids that doesn't taste like a sugar bomb. And the greens powder, it's chocolate flavored and somehow actually pretty good. What's cool is that you get this bright refillable bottle with your first order and your kids can decorate it with stickers and then every month they send eco friendly refills. It's non gmo, vegan, allergy free, third party tested, literally the safest thing on my friend's counters. No weird chemicals. No 2 teaspoons of sugar like those gummies we grew up with. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamins. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hayahealth.com karma this deal is not available on their regular website. So go to H I Y A H E a l t h.com karma and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Fall is here and if you are like me, you want clothes that are cozy, cute and don't cost a full paycheck. That's why Quint is my new go to for elevated essentials. I've been eyeing up their wool coats. Seriously. They look like they belong in a designer boutique but for a fraction of the price and the quality. It's so good. They've got mongolian cashmere for $50, washable silk and tailored denim that just fits. Quince works directly with top tier ethical factories and cuts out the middleman so you get luxury level pieces at half the price. It's one of those brands that feel smart, polished and wearable all day. Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.comkarma for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com karma to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.comkarma.
- [30:17]
A
That'S where I'm at. Is there anything else on your list? I'm actually ordering pins because I got this, like, cute bag that I want to decorate and I'm ordering pins for it instead of. I got patches to like, iron on like a child. Because I'm a child, you know? You know what I found? I've been doing a lot of, like, things that are for children. And I'm 30. Good.
- [30:35]
C
That's good. That's good for your inner child.
- [30:38]
B
It is good.
- [30:39]
A
I didn't. I thought because, like, one of my girlfriends, she does like, all kinds of arts and crafts and stuff. And I'm like, are you ever gonna wear that stuff or you ever gonna do it? Doesn't matter if it makes her happy to do it, just do it. And so then I started doing it and now I'm like, can't stop. But I feel like a child. Like, I feel like I'm too old to be doing the stuff that I want to do.
- [30:57]
B
No. Natasha crafts all the time.
- [31:01]
A
And what does she do with the stuff?
- [31:03]
B
It literally, like, I think is like, her job is so hectic that it's just like something that brings her, like, kind of peace and mind with. And like, she's good at it. Like, she'll like, like, sew on things to pants. She's, like, into, like, wiring stuff now she's picking up sewing. Like, she loves doing crafty things. Yeah. So I support you crafting. I think that's good for your mental health.
- [31:25]
A
Thanks. I would. I would love to have a space in my office, but it's just too much. So I just keep accumulating.
- [31:37]
B
I think that you could rearrange your office to have a craft station.
- [31:40]
A
That's another thing I. People have been asking on TikTok about a build update. We did not move forward with the build. I have my plans still with the architect. We're busting at the seams in this house. Like, busting at the seams. So I gotta figure that out. There's literally. We don't have anything. No space. Like, we have nothing.
- [31:59]
B
Godspeed to you.
- [32:04]
C
I.
- [32:05]
B
There was this that we were talking about.
- [32:06]
A
Tick tock.
- [32:07]
B
There is something I want to bring up. I don't know if you can really answer this, but let's see. This is another Would you rather question.
- [32:19]
A
Can't wait.
- [32:20]
B
The would you rather question is funny because I also added a comment that made me laugh that I read with it, but it. The Would you rather sleep in a Twin size bed for the rest of your life with your partner or separate rooms.
- [32:37]
A
Oh, that's tough.
- [32:38]
B
The comment though was, I don't know girl. I'm gonna keep scrolling. So funny. People are so funny.
- [32:50]
A
I don't know girl. I'm gonna keep sc. I'm gonna go separate rooms.
- [32:56]
B
Alessandra.
- [32:57]
C
Oh, separate rooms, absolutely.
- [33:00]
A
Because you can have sleepovers in your separate rooms. But I'm not sleeping. Y' all know I'm a big, like there's no way.
- [33:11]
B
I'm going with the twin bed. If I. Leah, if I had. That's like my best case scenario. We walk in somewhere and they're going to twin bed.
- [33:19]
A
Alessandra this is sort of unrelated, but I've always. And I guess for you too, Becky, because baby backs is so new and don't take offense to this.
- [33:29]
B
Oh God.
- [33:30]
A
How do you decide what time to go to bed if you don't have kids to wake up to?
- [33:34]
C
I just go to bed when I'm. My body's tired.
- [33:36]
A
And then like how do you decide what time you're going to wake up?
- [33:40]
C
Well, I like to get my. Like usually everyone's hitting me up by 9 so I like to have at least an hour to myself where I can just read and like be not a human being. So I'm getting up by like 7:38 every day.
- [33:54]
B
Mine's based on just how many hours of sleep I need. Like if I don't have something to do next day, I'll stay up a little later.
- [34:00]
A
But I guess I just like, I feel like. And tell me to off. I don't care. Like if I, if I wasn't like not an employee. Like if I worked for you and you had this pod. Like I don't. Why am I waking up at 9? I don't have kids. What the fuck? Why would I wake up at. I'm waking up at 10, 11 o'. Clock.
- [34:21]
C
Yeah, it's whatever your schedule lies allows. Like when I had less responsibilities, I could wake up a little bit later if I wanted to. But I also, I like the mornings. I used to wake up every day at 5:36am When I nanny because I had to be at work at 7am, 7:30.
- [34:37]
A
So you needed like time and like.
- [34:38]
C
Yeah, so I needed time.
- [34:40]
A
The schedules that like, and I'm not. I'm talking about everybody. Traditional jobs, non traditional jobs, whatever. Like, I just don't think that the hours that we're forced to be up are productive. Like I would be more productive with like an 11 to 7 situation. Or like 12 to 8 even. Maybe not 12 to 8. That sucks. Like something like a 11 to 7 shift.
- [35:04]
C
Yeah.
- [35:05]
A
And the sex would be good.
- [35:06]
C
Yeah, sometimes that's why you get like, you see me hitting you guys up at like 6:30, 7 o', clock, 8 o'.
- [35:11]
A
Clock.
- [35:12]
C
Because I either had like a doctor's appointment or my period came and I slept in and nobody needed me at 9:00am, you know, so that is the nice part about this job specifically is that as long as you get things done, that's what I always tell the girls. I don't care where you do it and what time, as long as it's done and done on time. I don't care.
- [35:30]
A
No, I don't care. And you can do it from anywhere, which is kind of nice too.
- [35:34]
C
Yeah. Yeah.
- [35:35]
B
I think it also depends on what stage of life you're into. In my like 20s I would rather be up till like 3am then like now I have like no interest in staying up. Like I just want to go to bed.
- [35:49]
A
No, I just want to go to even. But like last night I went to bed, like got into my bed around 10, but I was like, I still have to read for a little bit to like wind down. But the 6:30 alarms, I mean and truly I got ready this morning. I started getting ready at 6:30 and I was like, the fact that I'm saying this out loud to myself is like I should be getting up at 6 instead of 6:30, but I just can't wake up in the morning. But I also have low iron and I'm not taking my iron. So.
- [36:14]
C
Dude, I can't imagine your life in the morning. Waking up at 6:30 in the morning and then immediately waking up and it's just over stimulation immediately upon starting your day. The rest of my day would be.
- [36:25]
A
Yeah, I will say on the second. The first day of school was rough because I woke up to a massacre in my bed. Like I bled through my tampon and everything. And I was like, then I had to. I shower at night. I'm a night shower. Sometimes if I have time I can shower in the morning. But mostly I shower at night. So like having the massacre and then I immediately had to shower, which I wasn't planning on doing. And then I had to do this and then I had to do that. I was like, oh, this is going to be a rough day. So it was really rough. But I think if I start waking up at 6 it'll be easier for me with all the kids and like I Can be ready before I get. Because sometimes I would get everybody up, they would be getting ready. I would be getting ready and then tying up loose ends. That was always chaotic. So I feel like now I'm gonna have to start waking up at 6 to get ready before everyone's getting ready. Lux is so funny because he started his ADHD meds and he's like, we're twins. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't have my meds because my doctor didn't show up for two back to back appointments. So I'm just waiting on mine and then we'll be twins.
- [37:26]
B
I was wondering if you were off your meds. Yeah, I was like.
- [37:35]
A
Did you not think that was, like, an okay thing to, like, you could ask.
- [37:39]
B
There's just a couple moments of a lot of, like, pivots, which is normal for karma and chaos. But I was like, huh. I wonder if she's. I wonder if she's off her meds.
- [37:49]
A
Yeah, I'm absolutely off my meds, But I am. I have an appointment next week, so I'm gonna be getting back on them.
- [37:54]
B
I wanted. I screenshotted a message that someone sent me when I was. You have been gone. But we had an episode about this already. But we talked about Bex meeting his donor and that whole experience, which was really beautiful. But someone sent me a really cute message that I wanted to read, if that's okay with you.
- [38:19]
A
Okay, I'm down.
- [38:22]
B
Tell me it said. It says. I was a surrogate twice for a family. Jason and Jeremy. We had an instant connection the first time we met them. I didn't expect being a surrogate for them would bring us another family. Jeremy and Jason are the absolute best parents, and being able to give them the gift, that is an incredible feeling. But what they gave me and my family was also amazing. They showed my two kids that love can. Can look many different ways. It's not just a man and a woman. It showed how helping someone can have such a major effect on someone else. Not only did I make two dads become parents, but I also made parents become grandparents. And so. And my eyes are getting wet.
- [39:06]
A
I know. Mine too. I'm literally like.
- [39:09]
B
But I also made parents become grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Thank you for. For using your platform to inform people about sperm donation, IVF and embryo transfers. I wish you and your family happiness. And congrats on baby backs.
- [39:25]
A
Oh, my heart. I literally have chills on my arm. My hair is standing straight up and.
- [39:30]
B
My eyes so nice.
- [39:32]
A
I think that so often we get so caught up and mixed up in the conversations surrounding like pregnancies and things like that that we do forget and we forget how often people do struggle to start families. And it's not, you know, not everyone can just do it and get pregnant on accident like me or something. You know, Other people really struggle. No. And it hurts my heart because there are really, really good people out there that deserve to have a family and be able to procreate. I don't know, I just think it's really cool that people are so selfless that they will do stuff like that to give that to somebody else. Because you don't know that person from a can of paint. You don't know. You know what I mean?
- [40:14]
B
Yeah, I do.
- [40:16]
A
You don't know that person from Paul. So is that better?
- [40:20]
B
Yeah.
- [40:22]
A
Like there really are people out there that are willing to just do it for somebody that they don't even know. And I think that's so incredible. Foreign.
- [40:33]
B
I love coffee. Like truly love it. Love the flavor, love everything about it. But what I don't love is that mid morning crash, the jitters or feeling bloated after my first cup. That's why I switched to Everyday Dose. This is a coffee with benefits. It's still real coffee, 100 Arabica but it's got lines, mane and chaga, mushrooms, collagen and nootropics all blended in. I've been drinking it in the mornings and honestly I feel way more clear headed and calm. No crash, no jitters, just good energy that lasts. They have two versions Coffee plus which is a mellow and easy on the stomach or coffee puffs Bold if you like more of a kick and it takes 30 seconds to make. Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30 servings of Coffee plus or Bold Plus. You'll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon. By going to everydaydose.com karma or entering karma at checkout, you'll also get free gifts throughout the year. That's everydaydose.com karma for 45% off your first order. When people start a business they're usually excited, but it can be totally overwhelming. I've started many businesses. I have been in this situation so many times. I always get so pumped up but then suddenly you got to figure out your logo, you got to figure out your branding, scheduling, editing, everything. It is all a lot. I really wish I had Shopify as a built in business Partner from the start. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses including 10% of all E commerce in the US whether you're just starting a side hustle or growing something huge, it's got everything you need. Hundreds of stunning templates built in marketing tool AI to help you write product descriptions and world class support. Turn your big business ideas into With Shopify on your side, Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com karma go to shopify.com karma shopify.com karma for us, I, I think I said this before but like for us the complexities of feelings are something that everyone in this situation is feeling. Like Matt and Justin also have to go through those complex feelings of their family building. And I think that's what makes like at least our situation so beautiful is like we don't have to think otherwise. Like this is how we're starting our family and this is how all of us know our like family building think. It's really, you know, throughout that experience of sharing that I, I had like a lot of people reach out that word donor conceived too that like thanked me for being open and about our journey because it is different than a lot of other people like using a known donor in that way. But it was just really cool. I will say. Lee and I were at somewhere yesterday or two days ago and this little girl came up to us because she wanted to meet Bex. Don't know how old she was. She was probably six, seven, I don't know, could have, whatever. And she was asking a million questions about Becks and like all these things. It was really cute. And then she was like, well like who, which one? Like who's his mom? And Leah was like, well we both are. And she looked at both of us and was like, like how, like how's that possible? And we both kind of froze because like I've like I haven't been in that situation. I'm sitting there like it's not my place to put like to educate this child on the complexities of family building. Like, am I gonna get beat up for like even saying that Vex has two moms? Like I don't want to like cause any issues. And then like Leah took a couple beats and was just like, oh, like, you know, some, like some people have like have two moms and some people have a mom and dad. And that was it. Like the conversation ended and I was just like, wow, that was a lot easier than.
- [44:52]
A
Well, what's crazy is like a lot of kids would be so satisfied with that answer and just not think any. Like, they don't think anything of it. She's like, oh, like I didn't know that there was like another op. And then they just go about their business.
- [45:03]
B
Yeah.
- [45:04]
A
Which now that you say that, did you see the. With Snoop Dogg, we have to talk about it because, and I know it might be a little bit like not like a trending situation by the time this airs, but I reposted it on Facebook because Marlon Wayne says, like, I guess him and Snoop used to be friends. And he was like, the Hollywood agenda is not to make kids gay. It's to make them empathetic. And so I started reading the post or whatever and I did not real, like, I didn't even think about the fact that like Snoop Dogg has like naked women, lesbians, kissing each other and it's like music videos and in his music and all this on the third. And that's not doing anything to, to people. He didn't think anything of that. And now you're worried about Disney putting, you know, gay families, like queer community in their stuff. And it's just like, it's just, I.
- [45:55]
B
Mean, it's a, it's a conversation that will constantly be a broken record. Right. Like, it's queer. People are raised in a world that the representation that they see is always in hetero. Like Disney. Right. Like, it's always hetero relationships. And that doesn't make them less gay. Like, seeing two straight people together, like they're still going to be gay. It's just like having that representation doesn't hurt anyone. It's not sexual. It's not anything other than just showing how different families are built. Like, why shouldn't our family be portrayed in a Disney, you know, scenario just as someone else's?
- [46:35]
A
Do you think they would ever depict someone with four baby dads? Oh, some families look like that, Becky.
- [46:45]
B
They do.
- [46:46]
A
Some babies have half siblings. All of their siblings are half. Okay, yeah.
- [46:53]
B
I mean, fair.
- [46:55]
A
I'm just saying.
- [46:56]
B
I will say this, that people probably would get less pissed about that than the gays.
- [47:01]
A
So no, truly. Which is actually concerning because yes, there.
- [47:08]
C
Was a tick tock I saw last night because bringing like it's pertinent to this topic. This girl, which I thought was really interesting, she's in her 20s and I think this is a really like more modern take on families. She has two moms and two dads. So moms are in a lesbian relationship, Dads are in a gay relationship. Mom one meant dad Won at a separate time before. Before they knew the other partners had a baby together as friends.
- [47:36]
A
Like, lavender situation.
- [47:38]
C
Yes. Then mom, too came into the situation, and dad, too came into the situation, and now they're all parenting together. So she has two moms and two dads. She always lived in a house with four parents.
- [47:50]
B
Interesting.
- [47:51]
A
Together in the same house.
- [47:52]
C
Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that so cool?
- [47:55]
A
No, that's so cool. And like, four people for one kid to, like, rip and run all over town and, like.
- [48:02]
C
Yeah.
- [48:02]
A
Go to sports and stuff. Like, I want to clone myself so bad. I feel like.
- [48:07]
C
Yep. I. And I think there's just so much love in that. And I talked about it so many times. It's just so beautiful how there are so many different ways to have a family. And it's so. For someone, like, at like, I'm approaching 35 who doesn't have kids. And, you know, that's always in the back of my mind of, like, am I going to be able to the comfort of knowing that I can have a family in any single way? There's so many different ways. It's really comforting to me personally, and.
- [48:30]
A
I just love it of like, burnout of parenthood. Like, when there's more parents. That's why, like, I'm like, a step now. Obviously it wasn't always easy, but, like, now when I think of step parents and like a third or a fourth parent, like, if couples remarry, that's like four parents to divide the responsibilities. Like, the child is going to be happier because the parents are, in theory. In theory, are less stressed. When there's more adults kind of taking on the different responsibilities, you're going to enjoy your time with your kid a lot more. You would think, you know, if there's more people to love the child, in my opinion, a hundred percent.
- [49:06]
B
I don't think you should ever limit the amount of people that can love your kid, you know?
- [49:11]
A
Yeah. Heard that.
- [49:12]
B
Good talk. You know what I've been thinking about lately?
- [49:15]
A
Oh, God. What?
- [49:17]
B
I can't believe that you weren't at our wedding.
- [49:20]
A
Yeah. Remember that time that you didn't invite me to your wedding? Do you remember?
- [49:25]
B
I. I do, but we.
- [49:28]
A
We weren't friends.
- [49:29]
B
We weren't. We were friends for, like.
- [49:31]
A
No, we weren't.
- [49:33]
B
We, like.
- [49:33]
A
No, we were not.
- [49:34]
B
We weren't friends. But, like, you reached out right before our wedding.
- [49:40]
A
Really?
- [49:41]
B
Yeah.
- [49:43]
A
Oh, I don't think I realized that.
- [49:46]
B
Yeah.
- [49:47]
A
But, like, that would have been weird, though, if you, like, invited her. Okay. So, like, no.
- [49:52]
B
Yeah.
- [49:52]
A
For sure.
- [49:53]
B
Because also, like, our best friends Carson and Kelsey, I think about it all the time. Like, they're such core important people in our lives, and, like, we weren't at their wedding because we didn't know them during their wedding time. And it just feels weird.
- [50:06]
A
Question, because I think I brought this up recently. You didn't have, like, bridesmaids and groomsmen, did you?
- [50:12]
B
No.
- [50:13]
A
Yeah. I wouldn't also want that if I got married again. No. Because truly, like, I think about and, like, also inviting people to the wedding. I saw this thing on Tick Tock and it was like, if you would not text this person randomly or randomly facetime them to go get coffee or something, they should not be at your wedding. And I think that was such a huge mistake that I made at my first wedding, and I spent so much money to have 140 people there that I don't even know if I talk to any of them now. So I would want something, like, more on the intimate side. Huh.
- [50:43]
B
You talk to me.
- [50:44]
A
I do talk to you, but I would be so much more selective. But, yeah, I wasn't at your wedding, but I saw your post where you showed where you got married, and then you guys did another picture with you and Leah and Bex, and I was like, oh, my God. That also made me want to, like, if I ever got married, like, get married somewhere that I would be. Does that make sense? Yeah.
- [51:05]
B
Yeah. Like, somewhere, like, meaningful to you.
- [51:08]
A
Yeah. Because, I mean, I got married at Adventure Aquarium. I don't think it really holds any significance in my life. Like, I don't know that it's sharks. Really?
- [51:18]
B
You got married with the sharks?
- [51:19]
A
I did. All right. Karma, chaos, and a very wrong funeral. Amanda from Rhode island here. My friend's grandmother passed away, and of course I was going to the funeral. I complained a bit. It was early on a Friday and I had to miss work, but I was doing the right thing. I got a message, saw, quote, Friday and locked it in. What I didn't see was the part that said, next Friday. So I show up dressed in black, ready to mourn, only to realize I didn't recognize anyone. I thought, maybe this is just her dad's side of the family. Nope, wrong funeral. By the time I figured it out, I was already in line, fully committed. I shook hands, I nodded solemnly. I paid respect to a complete stranger, because this is something that I would do.
- [52:04]
C
I know.
- [52:07]
A
Shook hands. I nodded solemnly. I paid respects to a complete stranger and whispered something vague like she was really something. Ew. In my Lip, I can't. Was this karma for my complaining or just chaos? The kind that starts with a missed detail and ends with you pretending to know Aunt Margaret. Either way, next time I'm reading the whole thing. Honestly, this is chaos. It's not karma. I think it's so funny, and I hope that you get to talk about this for the rest of your life.
- [52:37]
C
Yeah, that's definitely chaos. That's, like, harmless chaos, right? Like, you could go to the funeral that you supposedly thought you missed, and then you got to pay respects to.
- [52:45]
A
Aunt March, you know, not yet March. But, like, what would you do? Like, would you take off work for the following Friday for another funeral? Like, how do you explain. Explain that to your boss?
- [52:55]
C
Well, you're my boss, so I'd be like, look at.
- [52:58]
A
Listen what I did. I'd be like, oh, you better go to the other funeral, too. Oh, my God. But, like, somebody that has, like, yeah, like, certain time, like, what would you do? Would you just say, like, not go to the next funeral?
- [53:13]
C
Well, if I really couldn't take the day off, I would tell my friend what happened and hope that that gives them a little bit of comedic relief in their grief.
- [53:20]
A
You're like, I didn't go to your grandma's funeral because I went to the wrong funeral. Yeah. You know, guess what? I went so we don't cry. Oh, my God, that's so funny. I kind of want to do. Should I just, like, start crashing funerals now? No. Oh. Just feel like this makes for a really good story.
- [53:39]
C
What would you do? Would you, like, walk out? Or would you pretend to be a mourner?
- [53:43]
A
No, I would pretend to be a mourner.
- [53:45]
C
You would be, like, going up to the casket, paying your respects, like, but sitting down in the chair.
- [53:50]
A
If you don't realize until you get to the casket.
- [53:54]
C
Oh, my God.
- [53:55]
A
Like, imagine you don't. Because I'm thinking, last year, my uncle died, and I, like, went. The first thing I did was make a line to the casket.
- [54:03]
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [54:04]
A
And, like, my family was there. Obviously was the right place. But, like, what if it wasn't? You know what I mean? Like, take me out and put me next to the dead.
- [54:18]
C
Oh, my gosh. I don't know. Like, would you shriek? Like, imagine you're thinking you're gonna see your dead relative in a casket, and it's a random person, and then you look around and you're like, oh, my God, I don't know any of these people.
- [54:31]
A
Like, then you can't laugh either. You can't be like. No, like, gasp and then start laughing because you're there by yourself. No. The way that my embarrassment. I get so embarrassed so fast.
- [54:39]
C
And so first of all, I'm not going to a funeral or awake by myself. I'm not doing it fair.
- [54:46]
A
So, like, I would probably just be sobbing for this person that I don't even know.
- [54:51]
C
I would be sobbing out of humiliation so it would fit right in.
- [54:56]
A
Just lay me down next to this person.
- [54:58]
C
Oh, my God. Yeah. That's like harmless. No.
- [55:02]
A
Yeah. Carlos K. Harmless. Harmless chaos. I loved that one. That was a good one.
- [55:07]
C
That was a good one.
- [55:08]
A
Okay, well, on that note, I'll see you next week. Actually, no, I won't see you this weekend. So I'll see you next week on the next recording. All right. Where can people find you?
- [55:17]
B
Hater 25 for the haters. Come on over and take a listen. Kale, it's so good to have you back.
- [55:23]
A
So good to be back. Don't forget about merch. And we'll see you next time.
- [55:27]
B
See you next time. Love ya.
- [55:29]
A
Love ya.
- [55:46]
E
This September, CBS hits are streaming free on Pluto tv. For this month only, you can watch full seasons of the CBS shows you love. From the courtroom drama of Matlock to the heroics of Fire Country. Go back to where it all began in NCIS origins or watch the hilarious hauntings of ghosts. All for free. Full seasons of the CBS shows you love this month only on Pluto TV Stream now pay never.
- [56:17]
F
Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip and Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.