In Our Minivan Era

Summary

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: In Our Minivan Era
Date: July 14, 2026
Host: PodcastOne

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Kail and Becky catch up on recent life happenings, from hilarious parenting moments to heartfelt family reflections. They swap stories about touring, dive into the intricacies and joys of modern family structures, reminisce about friendship rhythms, debate sleepover rules for their kids, and even brainstorm practical feminist improvements for minivans and SUVs. The episode is full of relatable chaos, vulnerability, laughter, and the authentic friendship listeners have come to love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reunited & Tour Updates

• Catching Up: The friends rekindle their rapport with playful complaints about lateness and life interruptions. Kail confesses to getting distracted despite confirming their appointment, leading to Becky quipping, "Second week in a row that I feel like I’ve been stood up." (02:03)
• Fatherless Behavior Tour: Kail announces updates for the tour, bustling with excitement for the big Texas shows and hints at future tour plans. Becky looks forward to coming along, joking about not having to work during the Sprinter van leg.
• Becky’s Brother to Attend: A humorous exchange about Becky’s brother coming to a Houston show, and Kail offers support in case he feels awkward. (05:25)

2. Family Life—Modern, Blended & Full of Love

• Becky's Extended Family Trip: Becky shares touching details about a July 4th trip to her son Bex’s donor’s family lake house in Michigan, describing it as “the most beautiful experience I’ve ever had in my entire life.” (06:35)
  • The openness and warmth of Bex’s donor’s family—"their love for him just poured through into us, into Bex, into our entire family." (07:19, Becky)
  • The community of “baby family,” with everyone eager to spend time with Bex.
  • Emotional gratitude at being embraced (“I went to bed crying like every night just in happiness” - 09:47)
• Complexity & Honesty in Family Building:
  • Kail praises Becky’s open-donor arrangement: “There is something really, really cool about you guys being so open about it from day one... Bex will never have to question where he comes from.” (08:14, Kail)
  • Discussion on boundaries, exclusive vs. multiple donor-family connections, and how the kids will be raised as cousins yet know they're siblings. (11:14, Becky)
  • Kail draws similarities to her own blended family experiences, emphasizing the importance of support and love from all involved.

3. Vulnerability, Mental Health, & Listener Letters

• Listener Email—'For the Haters' Episode Response: Becky reads a moving listener letter responding to a prior episode, deeply affecting Kail. The letter, full of empathy, addresses struggles with self-worth and recognition of resilience. (22:28–26:13)
  • Notable Quote:

    “Your worth was the day you were born… It’s there on your best days. It’s there on your worst days.” (24:45, Listener email)

  • Kail honestly responds: “I don’t fully understand why I have such a hard time hearing stuff like that… I feel like a fraud… because of my fuckups.” (30:25)
  • Becky counters: “People that fuck up deserve a happy life and deserve to be loved and like love themselves. I don’t think because you fucked up in your past means you don’t get a future of happiness.” (33:01, Becky)
• Viral Moments vs. Full Story: Kail discusses how online narratives focus on a tiny portion of her story, expressing frustration over internet discourse and the challenges of public perception versus personal growth. (30:16–34:14)

4. Adulting Transitions—From Bars to Diners & Bowl Plates

• Growing Older, Changing Routines:
  • Funny observations about making friends as adults—"I went from making friends in a bar to making friends at breakfast in a diner." (39:57, Becky)
  • The joy of having friends nearby and the genuine longing for a “cul-de-sac” lifestyle: “How are we adults? Life changes so much and we keep getting older, but I don’t feel older.” (40:07, Kail)
• Home, Renovations & Storage:
  • Becky’s updates on home renovations—kitchen, flooring, and the genius of “bowl plates” (massive hilarity ensues as Kail recaps, not listening, then repeats Becky’s tangent nearly verbatim; timestamp 36:25–36:50)
  • Closet organization: They debate the merits of hanging everything vs. folding—leading to tips, laughs, and tangents about seeing and remembering clothes, and the “out of sight, out of mind” lifestyle (51:53–53:09).

5. Parenting & Practicality—Minivans, SUVs, & Playrooms

• The Minivan Era:
  • Both share recent experiences renting and loving minivans, then brainstorm ways SUVs could improve—sliding doors, better access, mom-designed features.
  • Kail: “Why do they not have doors like a minivan?... Moms are using those vehicles in lieu of minivans. Why are you not doing the sliding door situation?” (46:05)
  • Becky: “That’s one of the best ideas you’ve ever had.” (47:23)
  • Both agree, with much comic energy, that car design needs direct input from real moms (“Get the moms in there!” 48:27)
• Kids, Play Spaces, and Toy Rotation:
  • Discussion about how kids actually only play with a few toys, despite having dozens, and the challenge of rotating toys and controlling chaos in family spaces. (50:58–51:53)

6. Sleepovers & Rules for Queer Kids

• Timely Parenting Debate:
  • Becky raises a nuanced debate circulating on TikTok and in their Facebook group: if their kids come out as queer, should sleepover rules (such as no opposite-gender sleepovers) shift accordingly? (56:14–59:33)
  • Kail reflects, aiming for fairness: “Just because you’re a lesbian doesn’t mean you’re attracted to every woman… I think that would be unfair.” (58:17)
  • Becky relates her own childhood and emphasizes communication and context over imposing blanket rules.

7. Karma or Chaos Listener Dilemma: The Ladder Incident

• Community Conundrum:
  • A listener asks if it’s karma or chaos to retrieve their borrowed ladder from a neighbor’s backyard without asking, sparking a debate over etiquette, property, and wooden ladders (!). (60:05–62:23)
  • Becky: “Do people have wooden ladders still?... That’s kind of, like, dangerous.” (61:27)
  • Kail, ever authentic: “What if it’s a wooden ladder? You can’t really leave it out in the element.” (61:21 & 62:00, Kail)

8. Friendship, Loyalty, and “Being There”

• Closing Reassurances:
  • Becky assures Kail she doesn’t flake on plans, reflecting the loyalty and understanding running through their friendship. (63:02–63:31)
  • Shout-out to Emily, their producer, for the birth of her baby on the 4th of July. (63:31–63:44)

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Notable Quotes

• On Busy Lives and Friendships:

  “How are we adults? Life changes so much and we keep getting older, but I don’t feel older.” (40:07, Kail Lowry)

• On Family by Choice:

  “Their love for him just poured through into us, into Bex, into our entire family. They are such a baby family.” (07:19, Becky)

• On Self-Worth:

  “Your worth was the day you were born… It’s there on your best days. It’s there on your worst days.” (24:45, Listener email read by Becky)

• On Growth and Grace:

  “People that fuck up deserve a happy life and deserve to like be loved and love themselves.” (33:01, Becky)

• On Minivans & Design Flaws:

  “Why do you not have moms helping to design vehicles?” (48:05, Kail)

• On Adult Sleepover Policies:

  "Just because you’re a lesbian doesn’t mean you’re attracted to every woman… That would be unfair.” (58:17, Kail)

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Timestamped Memorable Moments

• 01:42–02:13 – Kail’s playful self-deprecation about lateness, setting a candid and comedic tone.
• 06:35–09:13 – Becky recounts the Michigan lake house trip and the deep satisfaction of seeing her son embraced by extended (donor) family.
• 22:28–26:13 – Full listener email read, sparking raw self-reflection from Kail.
• 36:04–36:50 – Hilarious miscommunication about “bowl plates,” exposing classic friend dynamic.
• 45:40–48:52 – Kail and Becky’s “Minivan Manifesto”—a lively, solution-packed discussion about improving SUV design for moms.
• 56:14–59:33 – The sleepover/queer kids debate: thoughtful discussion relevant to many modern parents.
• 60:05–62:23 – Karma or Chaos: Ladder retrieval dilemma + existential musings about wooden ladders.

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The Tone:

• Unfiltered, honest, funny, and empathetic. The friends blend open-hearted vulnerability with comic timing, practical advice, and sincere care for their listeners and each other.

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For New Listeners:

This episode is an excellent snapshot of why Karma & Chaos resonates: it’s real, sometimes raw, often hilarious, and always unafraid to tackle both the beauty and the messiness of life in your 30s.

Transcript

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[Kale Lowry]

Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it, and we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on Kalery.com. and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else. Hey.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

Hey.

[Kale Lowry]

I literally was just bullshitting, just bullshitting around, and we were. I'm late, y'.

[Ad Voice]

All.

[Kale Lowry]

If anyone's listening. Welcome back to Karma and Chaos. I upload, and not only did I text Becky this morning and say, hey, are we still good for 11am and she responded, yes. I just start bullshitting around, and it's now 1109.

[Becky]

Good morning, good evening, good day, good night to all of our karmarus out there. Second week in a row that I feel like I've been stood up. So we're on a trend here.

[Kale Lowry]

I am so sorry I didn't do my hair. Elliot had course selection this morning for his new school. And then Twiz stopped by. He's called me. He's like, kayl, I need your bath. And so I was like, all right, hold on. And so I was just bullshitting, talking to him. And then Ike's texting me, do I want food? Because he's out. And so just, like, all the things going on. I'm so excited to see you in Texas. Texas in a couple. Also.

[Becky]

No.

[Kale Lowry]

We Are gonna have so much fun. And we are in a sprinter,

[Becky]

so I don't even have work that trip.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

No way.

[Kale Lowry]

I'm so excited for these because Texas. I think Dallas and San Antonio. Let me check. No. Yeah. Dallas and San Antonio are. Will be two of the bigger shows like ticket sales wise. So I'm really excited because you're in like a.

[Becky]

More of a groove now. Like I only did the first show with you and now you have more of like a groove of. Of what to do and what to like, like interact with with me. And I'm just going to be there just like having the time of my life.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, and you'll get to see my sister and Sterling.

[Becky]

I'm gonna kiss them.

[Kale Lowry]

Great. Same. How is you? How have you been? You went to Florida? Did you talk about it?

[Becky]

We haven't talked about a lot of things. So we have a lot of things to catch up on. But I wanted to first and foremost show you my 1 year old.

[Kale Lowry]

Hold on. I shipped Bex a gift. Right. For his birthday.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Is that Leah? Hey, Leah. Hey. Hi, bags. What's he doing? Baby boy.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

Hello.

[Becky]

I'm gonna send you a new gift because I love. Yeah, yeah. Kale sent me a newborn gift.

[Kale Lowry]

So I. I love Kiwico. Kiwico is. Give it to one of your friends. That's.

[Becky]

Oh, I can give it to Nicole DeFranco over.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah. Oh, I saw her announcement too. But I. We love Kiwico. Yay. You're one.

[Becky]

Yay. Thanks. Where's mom? Is that mom? We sign the same mom, like directionally. It's so cute. All right, he needs to say bye. Say bye.

[Kale Lowry]

Bye.

[Ad Voice]

Yay.

[Kale Lowry]

So I accidentally sent baby Bex a newborn kit from Kiwico. I don't know what I was thinking. I feel like I maybe got it for you earlier. I don't remember. Maybe. I don't know. So I'm going to send him a new. Actually I'll probably get him something somewhere in Texas that's like buc ee or something.

[Becky]

Yeah. I opened it and I was like, huh? I was like, this is so interesting.

[Kale Lowry]

Sorry.

[Becky]

Sorry about that. I'll give it to Nicole, which is so exciting that she's. She used my. My fertility candle that has produced like 10 babies. Well, not 10, but like five actually is crazy. Alex.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, update me on what?

[Becky]

Okay, so where do I want to begin? Wait. I'm so excited about Texas. It's literally gonna be so much fun. This airs this week. So if you're on the fence right now about Whether. If you want to come to the show, come. I'm going to go out after Houston for sure. And my brother's coming to the Houston show, which is. I told him. I'm like, justin, like, I don't think you want to come. You might be uncomfortable. And he goes, I have accepted the uncomfortableness that I might feel because I want to see you up on stage. So we'll be there.

[Kale Lowry]

I can. We can scale him.

[Becky]

No, no need.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay.

[Becky]

No need.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay. I mean, if you're fine with it,

[Becky]

we're gonna give the people what they want.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay. If you say. I mean, I've done some weird, like, wild shit at this point, so anything goes. To be honest.

[Ad Voice]

Don't. I know.

[Becky]

Okay. So the one thing I really want to talk about is not Florida, but my weekend in Michigan.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay.

[Becky]

So Leah and I took our Michigan trip to. For 4th of July weekend with Matt. So Matt is Bex's donor. His parents invited us to their lake house for the weekend. Matt has three siblings. Two of them have four kids. One has four kids, and one has three kids. It was a huge Fourth of July party. So, like, all of his extended family. All of his family was. It was the most beautiful experience I've ever had in my entire life. It was. And, like, I keep saying this, but the only reason it's possible is because, like, Matt is so loved within his family that, like, their love for him just poured through into us, into Bex, into, like, our entire family. And they are. They are such a baby family, which makes, like, a huge difference to if you have kids, you know? Like, everyone wanted to have Bex. Like, it was. And, like, the visual love you could see these people had for our son was just the most incredible feeling. Like, they would do anything for him. Like, it was. Lee and I were just sitting there the whole time, just the two of us, just watching. Like, we barely had our son because everyone had him the whole entire time. And we. Like, I was like, this is what, like, dreams are made of. Like, this is literally, like, this is like, a fam. Like, how lucky are we that we get now another family that we can build this with and build, like. And that Bex has all this love from, like, even his parents. Like, I thought, right? Like, there's complexities to our family building. It's not.

[Kale Lowry]

I was just about to say that, though. Like, it's real. And I'm not knocking anyone who chooses not to do it the way that you guys have. I'm not. If you guys are listening to this and you guys have like a closed situation with egg donor, sperm donor, whatever. Like, I'm not here to judge you at all. But what I will say that I do think there is something really, really cool about you guys being so open about it from day one. And also just like. But keeping the boundaries. But also like Bex will never have to question where he comes from. He will have a relationship with them to a way that's comfortable for everybody. And you guys are, I mean, you guys are great moms as it is. So I just, when I think about all the things that people say about me and Elliot and that's, you know, my biological son and whatever. But like people are going to say that about all of you guys as adults and you guys all have hands. Yes. I know that they're in a different state and they're not day to day raising him, but Matt and his husband will have a hand in literally. And I think that's.

[Becky]

And like, if, If Matt asked us if he could take like when Bex is a little older, obviously if like he could take him for a week to his parents lake house in the

[Kale Lowry]

summer, like in the summer or something,

[Becky]

would you not just say, hands down, yes, like the whole summer? No, for a week in the summer. Oh, yeah, yeah, she said for the whole summer.

[Kale Lowry]

Like Elliot, Elliot's friend stopped over last night and they were hanging out and she was telling me how she's going to her godfather's for a week for the summer to like hang out with them and her kids and her brother's not going, it's just her. And I was like, that is so cool. But like literally the same thing right?

[Becky]

There would be no, I'd be like, yes, like, he would love that. And like Matt's parents were so welcoming and so loving towards us. Like his mom like thanked us for like allowing them to, you know, have this relationship with Bex. And like I, I would. I went to bed crying like every night because, like, just in like happiness.

[Kale Lowry]

Can I ask a personal question? And if you don't feel comfortable answering it, it's fine.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Do all of the families that he donated to want to have an open, like, relationship or is it just like.

[Becky]

No, it's so.

[Ad Voice]

It's.

[Becky]

He donated to two other families. He has three total. The one has a kid. The one is trying now. So he. There's only one other sibling that Bex has and they were gonna come, but they were in Ireland, so they were invited too to 4th of July, but they had a trip to Ireland. Already planned. So. Yeah. So.

[Kale Lowry]

But so are they. They're gonna have, like, opening conversations and

[Becky]

all the things like.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah, did you tell me, or am I making this up, that the agency they use can. You can only donate to a certain amount. Oh, he's at his max. So will his husband also donate or no. So he can also only donate.

[Becky]

Exactly.

[Kale Lowry]

I kind of think that's nice though, too, because then you can, like. I hate to say it like this, but, like, keep track.

[Becky]

Yeah. Of siblings. You can actually pay to be exclusive too, if you want. Like, if you want to be the only family they can donate to, you can pay more for, like, exclusivity to them. Yeah, but I thought. I mean, not only didn't we want. We. It's. Everything's expensive. But, like, it's really cool that we get to build that relationship with the other families too. Like, Bex will have other siblings and, like, we'll raise them as cousins, but they'll know they're siblings. But, like, the relationship will feel more of like a cousin relationship.

[Kale Lowry]

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[Ad Voice / Guest]

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[Kale Lowry]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

You what?

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[Ad Voice]

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[Kale Lowry]

I even have seven days to love it or return it.

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So there's no.

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[Kale Lowry]

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[Becky]

Something I wasn't really expecting was like, Matt's dad is so good with kids and was like loving on Beck so much, like coming up to us to like take him and like to do things with him and it was just like so beautiful. Obviously Larry's dead so I didn't get that with my own dad. And so to see that like kind of through happen through that weekend, it was like amazing. Like, it was just so incredible. There was just. And like his sib. His siblings are so cool. Like I'd want to hang out with them and like his cousins. Yeah, like aunts, uncles, everyone. It was, it was the coolest shit I've ever experienced in my entire life. And I'm just. It was funny. His dad took us out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and. Which is fun. You. I. It's ironic because my dad used to take us to Cracker Barrel when we used to go like travel and I haven't been in in so long. So we were like at breakfast and this woman walked by and was like, are you guys all family? And they were like, yeah. And she, and she was like, it just warms my heart so much to see, to see you guys all together. And it was just like. I was like, am I like okay. Matt's sister Gabe, who is our age, she's a little younger. She's amazing. Like, so funny. Wonderful human. Her boyfriend was there, and I looked at him, I said, ben, you don't really have to marry into a lake family. You could just have a kid into one. And it was really so funny.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah, true, true. I'm so glad I'm not going to the lake house this year because I'm.

[Becky]

I feel like I can't even do anything more.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, funny is I had the travel agent book London, and I can only bring stickers for anyone listening that's coming to our London show. We can only bring stickers because of customs and trying to ship merch. It wouldn't be a thing. But I say all that to say I texted the travel agent and I said, hey, after London, I'm gonna need you to book a vacation for adults only over Christmas break. I have no kids. Like, I need to do something, because this is a lot.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

But I'm already thinking about touring next year, so.

[Becky]

You know, someone was talking to me about tour, and I was like, so they were like, how come you're doing so many? I'm like, it's a once in a lifetime thing. Why wouldn't I do it?

[Kale Lowry]

I'm like, actually, can we tour again next year?

[Becky]

We do it for you guys and for the forehead kisses.

[Kale Lowry]

We do it for y'. All. Okay. Okay. I'm so glad you had a good 4th of July. I slept all day on 4th of July. I landed. We took a red eye home Friday into Saturday. We landed at 7. We're by, like, 9, 9:30. We took a shower to wash the airport off of us and then immediately slept. The only time we woke up was to eat, and we went right back to sleep. And I could not tell you the last. I probably had Covid or strep throat.

[Becky]

I mean, thank God you did it, because you probably would have had strep throat if you didn't.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, I get my tonsils out on September 9th, praise be. So if y' all don't see me all of September, just know I'm okay, and I'm just recovering.

[Becky]

We were talking about. Not we. I was talking. We were talking proposals while I was away this weekend. And there's been so many more proposals that have popped up on my Tik Tok feed of, like, some, like, with friends there, some with family there.

[Kale Lowry]

No, I don't want anyone there. Or if they're there, I don't want them.

[Becky]

You don't see Anyone

[Kale Lowry]

like I. I get second handed. Like, like firsthand.

[Becky]

I don't know.

[Kale Lowry]

I just, I don't. People think that I love attention and I actually don't. Like I would not want all eyes on me.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Proposal.

[Becky]

I feel like intimate proposals are just for me. Significantly better.

[Kale Lowry]

Like I. I would be okay if a photographer was like hiding to get the pictures, but I don't want to see them. And then also like if I say yes and then I walk into a room and it's like a surprise party. Okay, fine. But I don't want them to like, I don't want to see them. And I'm like, wait, what is that? You know what I'm saying?

[Becky]

Sometimes it's.

[Kale Lowry]

How did you propose? How did you.

[Becky]

I proposed on Christmas Eve, which controversial of holiday proposals. But that wasn't my initial plan. We ended up having Covid. So we spent Christmas by ourselves. And. And so stars aligned perfectly for it to feel like I was. I had written in a journal like open endedly of like what. Of when I was going to do it. Because I want. Because like, you know how there's like moments kind of when the world stops and it's just the two of you. Like you have that like.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And I. So I wanted it to be in one of those moments. And you literally cannot plan for. For that moment. Right. Like you can make a whole plan and you can have all this thing, all things set up, but like someone could be in a pissed off mood and like what's the point of having that? That so. And. And I didn't even know if that day was going to have one of those moments. But we ended up like turning on a Christmas movie and then dancing around the living room to Christmas music. We pulled out the couch to sleep in the living room because that's what we used to do when we like. Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Like a true adult.

[Becky]

Yeah. And like I was like, oh. Like do you want to open a gift from me? And she was like, yeah. And it. So the book was like a relationship book. So like the first like 15 pages was like reminiscing on like our relationship. And then it went into like the engagement part and it was like what your parents said and, and like I wrote like the experience I had like talking to her parents and then. Yeah. And then I proposed after that. It was amazing. 10 out of 10.

[Kale Lowry]

And it was just. I love that. So I like. And obviously you can do engagement photos later, which I think you guys did because I remember when I checked up on you when we Weren't friends. I had seen engagement pictures and I was like, oh, they finally got engaged. And I. I sat on my phone

[Becky]

though, actually I did record the whole thing. I actually haven't looked at that video since. Maybe we should watch that. I'm trying to think of. Do. Never mind. I was gonna ask about carrot size. I, like, follow this.

[Kale Lowry]

I would say, like, okay, let's talk about diamonds for a second. Because I'm not a supporter of blood diamonds. I don't want, like a real diamond. I would. I'm perfectly fine with a lab grown diamond, a gemstone. Like, I'm not. I do not give one single. I don't want about diamond. That is not okay with me. And I would be okay with like a pawn shop and you find a cool stone and then you buy it and then take the stone and make something else. Like, I'm fine with, like, reusing. I'm fine with sapphires. Like, it doesn't have to be a diamond or even a love diamond. I would just be happy with whatever. But carrot size, I would say it depends because carrot sizes are different for different stones. I would say like four or five carats. But we're also talking about four or five carats. That's not a blood diamond, so they're not as expensive. Like, I think you can get a lab diamond the same carrot size for a lab diamond for half the cost.

[Becky]

I couldn't even tell you what's that. I think I definitely didn't get four or five for Leah, that's for sure. Probably like maybe one or two. I don't know.

[Kale Lowry]

Nobody cares. It's fine. You asked me, so I was just saying.

[Becky]

Yeah, no, thanks for letting me know. I have a really long message that I wanted to read for you.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay.

[Becky]

Is that okay?

[Kale Lowry]

Yes.

[Becky]

It was a email that I got from someone in regards to the. For the Haters message or for the haters episode that you did with me.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay. Okay.

[Becky]

Okay. Are we ready?

[Kale Lowry]

Yes.

[Becky]

It says, dear Kale and Becky, first I want to say, wow, you absolutely knocked this episode out of the park. Thank you for sharing it. It was powerful, raw, and incredibly moving. Becky, you brought so much light, compassion, and understanding to Kale's story, and as a listener, I am so grateful for that. I'm hoping this letter finds its way to you both and maybe even gets read on the podcast. After listening to part two of your story on for the Haters, there was one thing that has stayed with me ever since the episode ended. Kael, you said that you'll probably never have self esteem. Out of everything you've been through, everything you've survived, and everything you've accomplished, that statement broke my heart the most. I don't know you personally, but I've watched pieces of your life unfold for more than a decade. Millions of us have. We've seen the mistakes, the growth, the heartbreak, the victories, and the moments when life hit harder than most people could ever imagine. Through it all, you kept going. What I wish you could see is that your worth has never been tied to your appearance, your relationship, your success, your mistakes, or what strangers on the Internet think of you. Your worth was the day you were born. Why are my eyes starting to get wet? I've already read this. It's there on your best days. It's there on your worst days. And there are even days when you can't see it yourself. The saddest part of hearing you say you'll never have self worth is knowing how many women listening probably felt the same exact way. Women who have spent years believing they aren't enough. Women who have survived unimaginable things and somehow still carry the blame. Women who look in the mirror and only see flaws. As I listened to you talk, I found myself thinking about parts of your story and parts of my own life. While our experiences may be different, I understand what it's like to carry wounds that weren't your fault and still somehow feel responsible for them. I know what it's like to question your worth because of things you've been through. Listening to you, I wasn't thinking about the headlines, the television show or the public opinions. I was thinking about the little girl behind all of it. The girl who deserved to be loved, protected, reassured and told she was enough long before the world ever had an opinion on her. More than anything, I wanted to reach through the headphones, wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug. Not because I think you're broken or need fixing, but because I wanted you to feel the kindness, love and compassion that every person deserves. The same kindness that I hope all women can learn to give themselves. I am so sorry for the pain you've carried. I am so sorry for the moments in your life that made you question your value. And I hope one day you realize that the things that have happened to you do not define your worth. They never did. I hope one day you can see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you, the children who adore you, and even strangers who've quietly rooted for you all these years. You have survived things that could have broken many people. You have built a life. You have raised incredible children. You have shared your story, even when it was painful. You have helped countless women feel less alone. And whether you believe it or not, you deserve the same grace, love and compassion and understanding that you so freely extend to others. From one woman to another. I just wanted to remind you of something that I hope eventually sinks in. You are worthy. You always were and you always will be. And one day I hope you can see yourself in and one day I hope you can see in yourself what so many of us already see in you. With love, a listener whose heart broke hearing you say otherwise.

[Kale Lowry]

This episode is sponsored by ro. If you listen to Karma and Chaos regularly, you know that Becky is no stranger to GLP1s and I don't think you should be either. I definitely think you should explore your options, especially if you are struggling to lose weight. It can be amazing for people who are really trying and have maybe failed at other things. The Insurance Checker with Roe is a free tool to help patients check which GLP1 medications are covered by their insurance. And a few days after submitting your insurance information, a patient will receive a report that tells them which medications that are covered and whether or not a prior authorization is required. Which is super easy. I don't like calling insurance. I don't want to sit on the phone. ROE does all of that for you. If someone has no insurance coverage or no insurance to check, RO still has more affordable FDA approved cash pay options to help them start their GLP1 journey, including GLP1 pills and the lowest cost FDA approved options around, which is really nice. Only the insurance checker step is free, but after a patient receives their insurance coverage report they can choose to move forward with row. And if you guys decide to move forward with RO to do a GLP1, you'll also have support throughout the entire process so you'll have access to your provider on demand for any questions. And you guys can join over 1.5 million people who trusted RO on their weight loss journey. We all know that weight loss is not a one size fits all. So RO wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have the lowest cost options out there. And that's whether you're paying with cash or insurance. So if you guys want to check this out, go to ro co karma to see if you qualify. That's r o dot co karma. To get started on row, go to ro safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. You guys know I'm on tour. You know that Becky helped me build my sites over the years, but I don't know if you guys know that now on my websites through Shopify, I'm talking about killer Entertainment and kale Lowry.com I use Shopify and I just started adding more merch back on the site. And that's because Shopify is so easy to use. I'm not tech savvy. I don't like to use technology a whole lot. I know wrong profession. But I absolutely love that sh. Shopify is so easy to navigate. It's user friendly, it's business friendly, it's all the things. If you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify can make it easy for you to make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one. And I'm telling you guys, it is so worth it. So from the moment your first customer is ready to pay, Shopify checkout helps more of them finish their purchase. Okay, so less abandoned carts. And because Shopify handles the setup and checkout, you have more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it, which is really nice because sometimes you just don't know where to start. They have beautiful templates. They have all the things. And Shopify actually powers millions of businesses worldwide, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to small businesses just getting started. And I can attest to that because I've used Shopify so much over the years. And if you guys want to give this a try, you can start your free trial at shopify.com karma start your free trial at shopify.com karma

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[Kale Lowry]

Okay. I have a lot of feelings right now.

[Becky]

Sorry, didn't mean to do that to you. But okay.

[Kale Lowry]

I only have one other call today, so should be fine. I. I don't fully understand why I have such a hard time hearing stuff like that. And when people write. And I'm thankful for it. But on the same hand I also don't feel like I deserve that. I feel like a fraud. Like I feel like. My. Because I am not saying this for pity and I don't want it to come across that way, but it's like the fuck ups that I've done in my life, right? Like I've done a lot of up things in my life and so I feel like. Like because of that I am not worthy of what she's saying. Like what she's saying is wrong because I up. Right. Like I'm not some like great person who also carried pain. Right. Second to that. And I want to make this clear. In no way, shape or form am I going. What I'm about to say meant to bash Chris specifically. But I guess there was a lot of discourse online about the part with Chris and he denied what I said, which I don't. Whatever. I'm not even gonna address that. Whatever his version of events is, is his version of events. There was a lot of discourse and then not troll, I'm gonna call them trolls. They're not necessarily trolls. But the only piece of the two parts episodes that, that we did that was what went like viral like the, the piece about Chris and it was this much compared to two full episodes. And so it's really wild to me to see the difference in what people picked up on. Right. Is like this woman sees me as human, right? Whether whether or not I deserve what she said, she sees me as human being. Right. But then there's like a whole other group of people and the hate was so loud and it was. I. I didn't even respond to it because I'm not going back and forth with this man. It was this much of two parts. And so hearing something completely unrelated to the Chris piece of it all is really helpful to me. And so I don't. But I also don't necessarily think I deserve it, but I like, I appreciate it. So I don't know. Like I. If nothing else, I just hope that people understand me a little better and maybe why I've made up choices but like also don't want to keep using that as an excuse to make up choices.

[Becky]

Yeah. I mean, I think that, I mean there were so many positive messages. There was, I received like hundreds of dms from people saying like that it opened their eyes to see you in a different light. That's like helped them like give you more grace. But I mean coming from someone that like has been hurt quite a bit. I think people that up deserve a happy life and deserve to like be loved and like love themselves. I don't think because you up in your past doesn't mean that you don't get a future of happiness. Like we have this like one life to live. Literally like that's it. We have no redos of like you can't start over, like you can't go back and change or fix things. It's like all you can do is work towards who you want to become and there's going to be fuck ups along the way but taking the right steps to get there. So I mean everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to love themselves and everyone deserves to like find grace for decisions that were made honestly from sometimes rooted in other people's fault.

[Kale Lowry]

So I, I really appreciate her hearing more than just like the drama and the like. I really appreciate her actually listening and taking something away.

[Becky]

So I think you, I mean this is like tale as old as time, right? Like there could be a hundred positive things and one negative thing. And the negative thing is what like soul sucks you. And I think that's probably a little bit of the case here because I saw so much positive discourse around this. Anyway, let's turn this around. All right, how about that? I have been ordering. Lee and I have decided we're starting fresh. We are using this new house to declutter and to get rid of so much. I just ordered new pleats for the house and I ordered plates.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh please. Yeah, like I, I don't cleats for what?

[Becky]

And it's so funny. We have these, these plates in our house. They're like plate bowls that like have a little curvature to them, not that high. They're the best purchase I've ever made. They're the best plate that I've ever had. So I bought new ones.

[Kale Lowry]

Drop a link.

[Becky]

They're the most useful. Like they're pleat bowls. So like you don't know what I'm talking about. No, I currently have white ones but we're switching to black.

[Kale Lowry]

I have black too.

[Becky]

Well, the ones that we actually got are black with like green on the in the inside, which is kind of cool.

[Kale Lowry]

I just love the. They're like blow bowl plates. So they're like this big, but they're. They're bowl. Is that what you're talking about? I'm obsessed with them. I went on vacation and I came and they had them.

[Becky]

I hate you so much. I just went on a 30 second tangent about bowl plates. And you were texting and I knew you weren't listening to me. Leave all this in, Alessandra. Leave all this in so the. The people know what it is like to be me. You just were a parrot. You repeated exactly what I realized that's

[Kale Lowry]

what you were talking about.

[Becky]

Did. I said bowl plate like four times.

[Kale Lowry]

But that's not what I was thinking. Bowl, plate.

[Becky]

You literally just said they are like bowl plates.

[Kale Lowry]

Becky. I was on a whole hunt for bowl plates since Turks and Caicos 2024. I saw them. I was obsessed.

[Becky]

Well, we got new bowl plates, we got new plates. Our kitchen is installed, things are coming together, renovations are coming along smoothly. Things are great in the house as well. Kind of. The people that did our floors, them up and that was really screwed up.

[Kale Lowry]

So right now what do you do?

[Becky]

Just deal with it?

[Kale Lowry]

No,

[Becky]

nothing we can do.

[Kale Lowry]

Literally. Yes, you can get your money back and have them redo it.

[Becky]

Not possible.

[Kale Lowry]

Why?

[Becky]

Because it's like not like a company. Get your money back for your driveway, Kale.

[Kale Lowry]

I tried, but they were, they were scammers. So.

[Becky]

Yeah, two things. I am currently down at the beach and I went to go work from Starbucks yesterday and this girl walked in and she yelled becky hater. And it sent me into a panic because I didn't know who she was and I thought I was supposed to know who she was. Right? Like, you know when someone says hi

[Kale Lowry]

and you're like, damn for recognition? Like, am I supposed to know you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Becky]

I didn't know her. She. She was like, I'm listening to your karma and Cass right now in the car.

[Kale Lowry]

That's really sweet.

[Becky]

She was great. So shout out to her. She posted in the Facebook group after. So that was funny. And then secondly, I had an adult softball game this past week, played like shit. And some girl came up to me after. She's like, I wasn't going to come up to you, but my. Someone told me to. And I listened to both your podcasts and I was just listening how you said you hit a home run. And I was like, damn, I made myself a liar because you just watched this game and I didn't do that well.

[Kale Lowry]

So what did you say? Were you self deprecating?

[Becky]

Yeah, I said I made myself a liar. I'm so sorry I didn't eat that day. So I'm blaming it on that.

[Kale Lowry]

I actually blame them. I blame that being hangry for my three year old. Yesterday for Rio, he was just in a mood and I was like, you gotta be hungry, bro.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's what Beck's gets like, man, why does food do that to people?

[Kale Lowry]

Actually, that's a Leah question. She's a pa. Yeah, well,

[Becky]

I'll ask her after this. We were, we went to the. We were in the diner the other day and there was a couple there that was with their kids. And the waitress was like, oh, you could ask them. They live here. And she was referring to Leah and I. And they were like, oh, we're looking to buy in the area. We live at the beach right now. We want to. And I was like, oh, like, cool. Yeah, take my number if you have questions about like, location. And. And it made me laugh really hard because it was like I went from making friends in a bar to like making friends at breakfast in a diner. Like, like, like how life changes so much.

[Kale Lowry]

That's actually really funny. I. I feel like as adults we're just literally like, like, how are we adults? And life changes so much and we keep getting older, but like, I don't feel older.

[Becky]

I don't feel older. I, I truly. And we've talked about this so many times on here. My life would be so much better if I lived in a cul de sac with my friends. Including you.

[Kale Lowry]

No, literally. This episode is sponsored by Better Health Help. For some, we know that summer is their favorite season. Like me, travel picks up, kids are out of school. I personally love that. But for others, juggling this time of year can be tough. And it can lead to feeling overwhelmed, counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school and worried that they're wasting the days of sunshine. I have been there in my life as well. But I'm here to tell you that BetterHelp is a great option to start with getting help. They have quality therapists. They have a therapist match commitment, and you guys can read their reviews. Better Health therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the United states. They have over 30, 000 therapists, which makes BetterHelp the world's largest online therapy platform. And they've served over 6 million people globally. It actually works. You guys can read their reviews. They have an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews and with better helps Therapist match commitment better help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals and then you fill out a short questionnaire which helps identify your needs and preferences. And then they use over 12 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate which means they typically do get it right the first time. But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. Which is super helpful because sometimes you just don't click with the first person and you guys don't have to say yes to everything. This summer, find support and therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Karma that's betterhelp.com Karma if the world were

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Becky]

I was here. I went to. I like I said, I went to Starbucks yesterday. The Internet there. I had to edit the for the haters episode. Obviously I can't record my narration in there. I'm like, what do I do? The Internet at this house obviously isn't great because I keep disconnecting and I looked at my find my friends to see who lived closest to where I was. And I realized that a friend of mine from college lived 10 minutes from where I was. So I texted her and I said, hey, can I use the Internet at your house? She goes, doors open. And so 10 minutes goes by and I walk through her door. I'm like, hey girl, I'm gonna need a couple hours to edit this episode. She's like, great. You can go down in the basement because the kids will be loud up here. She comes down.

[Kale Lowry]

This is her life. What is your life?

[Becky]

This is her 10 minutes later with a beer and some snacks. She's a mom, obviously, and snacks and like a snackle box full of fruit and chips and everything. And then her husband, her husband made me a rat nap.

[Kale Lowry]

That is so nice. That's so funny.

[Becky]

But like it was just so nice that I could just walk into her house and like she lives two and a half hours from me so like I don't see her that much. And it was just like, wow. Imagine if I just had this freedom to walk into someone's house all the time that lived close to me.

[Kale Lowry]

I wish in a perfect world, like, even if it wasn't like a cul de sac, like neighbors, but just within like a month, even within. Just like a bunch of us within an hour of each other. Once you hit that two hour mark, it gets a little bit hard for planning and trick and. And things like that. Like an hour. I'm like, okay, we could. We could still make this work.

[Becky]

Yeah, Yeah, I totally. We. I actually didn't mention this, and I don't even know if I told. Did I tell you that my flight got canceled on my home coming home from Michigan?

[Kale Lowry]

I don't think so.

[Becky]

Yeah, we woke up and our flight got canceled, and so we drove home.

[Kale Lowry]

You drove home from Michigan?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

With a toddler?

[Becky]

Yeah. He did. Great.

[Kale Lowry]

How long was that drive?

[Becky]

It was like, it took probably like eight and a half hours. It wasn't too bad.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh, why did I think it was so much more than two and like, eight hours? I would drive that. We're gonna drive that when we go to the Carolina was.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Easier for us to have our car than to fly and then have to get a rental and then all the things, like, I want to be able to just do whatever I want. So we're driving.

[Becky]

Yeah. It wasn't too bad, but it all. Like, my sister could never. Remy hates the car.

[Kale Lowry]

So, like, that Lincoln. Hated the car.

[Becky]

Yeah. Hates the car. So there it is. Yeah. So we drove. We. Oh, speaking of driving, we drove a minivan from Michigan home. Dude, they're so good. I think I need them. I think we're gonna get a minivan.

[Kale Lowry]

We rented one for our first leg of tour.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Obsessed.

[Becky]

But I'm like, so comfortable.

[Kale Lowry]

Here's my pitch. And I've. I'm pretty sure I've said this before on socials. I'm a big SUV girl. So we got Suburbans, Tahoes, Denali's, like, the whole thing. Why do they not have doors like a minivan?

[Becky]

Great question.

[Kale Lowry]

Like, if you're gonna have a vehicle that size, you're obviously. Most of the time, I'm gonna argue that moms are using those vehicles in lieu of minivans. Why are you not doing the sliding door situation or putting the bucket seats. Seats together to create an aisle to get to the third row. So I looked into customization for it, and you can pay like 20, 30 grand to put the bucket seats because I don't like the bench in the middle because how. Yeah, if you have car seats in the. In the middle row. And then you also need to use the third row you can't get, because then you'd have to take the car seat out and put it back in. So if you create an aisle and put a middle seat instead of two captain's chairs. Because now you're thinking about the toddler seats in the captain's chairs. You still can't get a kid through without, like, Lux and Creed would have to crawl under their feet to get to the back. If I'm like picking like, do you know what I'm saying? So I feel like a woman and a mom need to design some kind of model. Maybe do a model like a. You know how they do, like XL or high country or whatever. Like, do a model of that specific SUV for moms that are using it for that. Do you know what I'm like, You don't have to change them across the board.

[Becky]

That's one of the best ideas you've ever had.

[Kale Lowry]

Thank you. And I wish that because I had driven Chevy for a long time, like Suburbans and Tahoes. I had five of them. I had three Suburbans and two Tahoes. And every time I had a different model, I would see the changes that were made and I would be like, a man did this. Full stop. Man is putting the flashers on the passenger side. For what? Yeah, they removed the little screen thing. Like, there's like a navigation screen that like goes up. They like completely took that out. They took off the child lock on the door panel instead so that you don't have to do the key in the door. I want to control that on my thing because my big kids don't need the child lock, but my toddlers do.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And so it's just. So, like, why do you not have moms helping to design vehicles?

[Becky]

Yeah. And like, while we're at it, while we're designing a vehicle, like, it should be a requirement to have an air vent that sits over the captain's chairs that are behind. Because when you have toddlers back facing or babies back facing, the airflow is never proper there.

[Kale Lowry]

Yep. Get the moms in there. I don't know if that's a. I don't know if that's an engineer. I don't know if that's. You know, you need the ideas, and then the man can execute. You need the ideas from a mom or a woman, and then the man can execute the build to do it.

[Becky]

We could get a whole female team to do it.

[Kale Lowry]

We need a whole female team. And I just am saying, y' all heard it here first for those ideas. So if you see Chevy or anybody, do them. Want my. I want my royalties.

[Becky]

Yeah. I like this is. You should reach out and be like, hey, do you want to do a cross collab on a vehicle anywh who Bex is getting his top teeth in. So he has two buck teeth, big ass teeth coming in. And that makes me sad because he no longer has the two bottom teeth smile. And that transition into the two top teeth was a lot harder than the transition from. From no teeth into the bottom teeth. I just loved his two bottom teeth smile so much. And now he has two, like, buck teeth coming in.

[Kale Lowry]

That is so cute and so funny and the best. And make sure you take lots of pictures.

[Becky]

I will. I sent you a video of the progress of the house so far. It's coming in now the kitchen, the countertop people came to measure for countertops. And he said that wood is coming back in because we have wood cabinets for our kitchen.

[Kale Lowry]

I think that a lot of things are coming back. They always say trends come back. The only thing I will say is I hope one trend, one house trend that never comes back because I hate it is the all white. All white kitchens. Please stop

[Becky]

everyone listening. That has all kitchens.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, maybe you bought the house like that. Add some color. And I'm also sick of the. The beige situation. Like, we're. We're not doing that.

[Becky]

All right.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay, let me look at this video. Oh, that flooring is really similar to mine. I love it. What is that little nook gonna be?

[Becky]

What nook? Oh, where all the stuff is like, where all, like, the equipment and stuff is right now or what nook?

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah, it's like, it looks like it's off the living room maybe.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's gonna be a kids corner.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh, that's cute.

[Becky]

Yeah, we were gonna do a playroom. We don't have room for a playroom like yours. But, like, we love hanging out in the living room and being able to hang out with Bex there. So having, like, just the kids corner off the living room was something we did.

[Kale Lowry]

My kids play with two things. Like, they. Maybe you'll understand too. Like, you could have 150 toys for them. They're only playing with two things.

[Becky]

So what are the two things right now?

[Kale Lowry]

Verse is Spider man only. So he wants his spider man costume and his spider man action figures. Valley is. She don't want to play with any toys. But just maybe magnetiles. Maybe.

[Becky]

Okay. We. We found. And we've Bex jumps from so many things to so many things. We found that we need to like take away a lot of stuff.

[Ad Voice / Guest]

Stuff.

[Becky]

And that's what we're gonna do in the new house. Like, we can't give him so many options.

[Kale Lowry]

He has like rotation. Yeah, that's what I need them in a closet regularly. I was trying to do that in the playroom, but I don't have the time to go in and like switch them out. And I also don't have the storage to switch them out.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's a difficult thing. Oh, talking about storage. I need your opinion and everyone listening. I need your opinion. So we have. We built a walk in closet it for our bedroom in the new house. I'm considering switching to more of a hanging everything than shelving. What are your opinions on that?

[Kale Lowry]

Some people love it, some people hate it. I did that and I'm just happier that way. It's just easier to see it all when I'm a very out of sight, out of mind person. And unfortunately that spills into every single aspect of my life. Like in people included. And it mean, I mean no harm. I have to see them. That's why when people are like, oh, like, don't you want to get rid of some of your books? No, I have to see them. Like, I can't put them away. I can't put them in a cabinet. I can't have clothes folded up in a cabinet. Like, I can't have them. Underwear, bra, socks can go in drawers. Everything else needs to be hung up also. It just is more seamless too. Like if you hang certain things to dry, you just can hang it up. Then you know it's already hanging up.

[Becky]

How do you. Is there easier way to like hang up jeans and like.

[Kale Lowry]

Yes, I can fold them in half cuff.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And then fold over the hanger.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale Lowry]

Or. Or I do this for Valley. The belt loop on her jean shorts.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

I hang that over the little hook thing right here so that they hang. Does that make sense? Yeah, I mean, I guess you could fold one short side over the. But then it's like uneven. So I just loop them in the little hanger.

[Becky]

I'm not like a big shorts person besides gym shorts, but I feel like those would go in a drawer.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah. I put sweat shorts with like my underwear. Socks and bras. Yeah.

[Becky]

Gym shorts, sweatshirts.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah.

[Becky]

You hang up your sweatpants.

[Kale Lowry]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And you hang up your sweatshirts.

[Kale Lowry]

Yep. During the week at home, the school year early in the summertime, it is crazy. My schedule's non stop. Meetings, errands, late night nights, and eating healthy is usually one of the first things that falls off my off my list and my steps. Tempo keeps me on track with real meals that I can heat up in two minutes so I don't have to default to snacking all day long, which is so frustrating. I hate when I do it. If I'm eating snack after snack after stack, I'm like, obviously I need a meal. One of the most stressful questions after a busy day is what are we eating? What are we having for dinner? And quite frankly, after I've been out and running errands and a chicken with my head cut off, I don't want to think about what's being cooked. So definitely consider Tempo because Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted meals. These are dietitian approved and they're straight to your door, making it super easy to eat well and save time on your craziest and busiest days. Each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. And that means real food, real fast, without the sad desk lunch or the drive through regret. I literally thought about eating McDonald's the other day and I was like, you know what, let me just go heat up a Tempo meal. And no matter what your goals are, there is a Tempo meal for you. So they have protein packed meals with over 30 grams of protein. They have fiber, rich calorie, conscious gut support, which I need, and even the GLP1 smart meals. So if that sounds like something that you'd be interested, definitely check them out. It's convenient, but it's flexible enough to fit the way that you want to eat. And for a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempo Meals.com karma that's Tempo Meals.com karma for 60% off your first box. Tempo Meals.com karma rules and restrictions may apply. I'll say I'll send you pictures of what I have. Okay. Like how I do it. I mean, it's not the most organized thing in the world. I'm actually about to do a poshmark haul because there's a ton of stuff I want to get rid of. But I hang up sweatshirts, crew necks, tank tops, I hang up everything and then I have a section all the way on the end that is like jumpers and one pieces that take up the top of because I have the two racks. So on the corner I have One that's like full length. So, like, I don't wear dresses, but rompers, long cover ups, you know, beach things go on in that section so that they can go all the way to the ground.

[Becky]

How come you don't wear dresses?

[Kale Lowry]

I just look like a dinosaur.

[Becky]

Okay, fair, fair. Something that's been popping up in our. Not only in our group, I saw someone. Someone post about it in the karma and chaos group, Facebook group. But I saw some tick tocks surrounding it, and it was like discord around sleepovers. And if their kid comes out to them, if they should have, like, the same rules apply to sleepovers. And I'm so conflicted around this.

[Kale Lowry]

So I've gone back and forth with this too. This has been a reoccurring conversation on coffee combos. But now that you're a parent, I feel like, yeah, I feel like it fits us as well. We have. And I know it can happen in family. Sexual assault, things that are inappropriate. I'm aware. I know it can happen even with the people you know. I'm aware. There is one family for Lincoln, Lux and Creed. They're family to me. They are literally family to Lux and Creed that I would keep their kids. They can keep my kids overnight. I don't care. Lincoln has a couple friends, that family, and then one other one that again, same thing. But we don't. If Lux came home from school and said, can I go to this birthday sleepover? No. Like, you can go, but I'm not. You're not sleeping over.

[Becky]

Well, the. The question at hand is if your child comes out out early and they express that they're either bisexual, they're transgender, like, do different rules apply to them? When, like, say you have a daughter and they come out as a lesbian, are they not allowed to have sleepovers with girls now? Because. Because of that? Like, are they not allowed to have sleepovers in the same room with girls because of that? Because you would. You wouldn't allow them to have sleepovers with a boy way.

[Kale Lowry]

I'm going to speak to a perfect world, right? In a perfect world, I will have the type of relationship with my daughter that I have with the rest of my kids, where they're expressing interest in who they actually are romantically interested in. So that. Because I'm of the belief that just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you're attracted to every woman, just because you're gay doesn't mean you're attracted to every man. So I think that would be unfair. That's not fair. In my opinion. But I also. I mean, Elliot had. It's true, like, stay over not that long ago, and he slept on the couch. And I know that there's nothing between them, but, like, I sh. And I think he's a great kid. Like, Elliot asked me, hey, can he come over? And I said, yeah, he's a great kid. Of course he can. Again. And so that's a tricky question. I think also, like, I hope that my kids are not interested in. And I know it's, like, hormonal and, like, you can't really prevent it, but I also want them to be so busy, they're not worried about romantic relationships.

[Becky]

Yeah, but how.

[Kale Lowry]

What do you think you'll do? How are. How do you feel about it?

[Becky]

I think it's based on, like, the relationship you have with your kid. Right, right. Like, I like having that question. Like, is this someone. Like, is this someone of, like, your room? Like, I guess it also depends on the age. Like, is this someone you're romantically interested in? My mom let me have sleepovers with boys. So, like, because I was friends with a lot of guys, so, like, I. So I was allowed to. And I wasn't doing anything with them.

[Kale Lowry]

I was hooking up with my girl, best friend before I ever had a boy sleepover. Okay, is it karma or is it chaos? I think my boyfriend accidentally started a neighborhood war, and somehow I'm the villain. Last week, our neighbor asked if they could borrow our ladder for just a few minutes. Three days later, it was still sitting in their backyard. Instead of knocking on the door, my boyfriend waited until they left for work, walked over, opened their gate, and took. Took, took our ladder back after. About an hour later, I got a text from the neighbor saying, next time, just ask before coming onto our property. I replied, next time, just return people's stuff. Now they're telling everyone on our street that we're disrespectful and making them feel unsafe. Half the neighbors think that we should have knocked. The other half says, it's our ladder. We can take it whenever we want. Is it karma or is it chaos? I'm saying it's a little bit of both, because why is. Yeah, that would piss me off too. Like, what do you mean? It's just sitting there for three days outside, like, if I need it, or if it's, like, now you haven't returned it, you're clearly not using it. And. But, like, also, maybe just even giving a heads up, not even asking, but it's like, hey, I'm gonna Walk over and grab the ladder. Like, notice, but.

[Becky]

And it's like, not. It's in a backyard. It's not like it's inside.

[Kale Lowry]

I mean, what if it's a wooden ladder, though? You can't really leave it out in the element.

[Becky]

Do people have wooden ladders still?

[Kale Lowry]

I mean, maybe. Is that not a thing anymore?

[Becky]

What the hell kind of comment is that?

[Kale Lowry]

Are you serious? Do people use wooden ladders anymore?

[Becky]

I don't think so. That's kind of, like, dangerous.

[Ad Voice]

What?

[Becky]

They break.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh,

[Becky]

that's crazy. What a weird comment.

[Kale Lowry]

I don't know if it's that weird.

[Ad Voice]

Really?

[Kale Lowry]

Let me go ask. Facebook people are gonna be like, kale, what the are you talking about?

[Becky]

Like, when people are talking about a ladder, is it a normal question to ask, is it wood or not? Like, you just assumed it would be wood first?

[Kale Lowry]

No, I didn't assume. I said, what if it's wood? You can't leave it in the element, right?

[Becky]

I don't know. Anyways.

[Kale Lowry]

No, not anyways. I need to go. No, I need to know. I just posted that on Facebook.

[Becky]

Content, huh? Well, I love you and I miss you. I feel like my life's. I've been, like, kind of flying under the radar over here for a couple weeks, but I'm. I'm pumped to see you.

[Kale Lowry]

I'm excited to see you. I'm glad that you're coming. I'm so glad. I just. I. I know how everybody's schedules can change, and I keep asking you, like, hey, are you coming? Because I don't know if your plans are changing. I don't know if you're booked and busy. I don't know if things are coming up. So I'm like, I just want to verify, like, are you coming?

[Becky]

I'm not someone that recants on my word of being somewhere, and I would

[Kale Lowry]

understand if you did.

[Becky]

I asked Rebecca. I was like, does Kale not want me to go? He's like, why? I'm like, she keeps asking if I'm going to things when I've already said I like. And maybe she's just being mindful of my life.

[Kale Lowry]

But, like, I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, yeah, I understand if things come up. I just. If you could kindly let me know in advance so I could find somebody else, like, I fully understand life. I will be there.

[Becky]

Before we go, just a quick little shout out to Emily. Emily's my producer that helps me with. For the haters now. She gave birth 4th oh, congratulations to Emily.

[Kale Lowry]

That's so nice.

[Becky]

I know.

[Kale Lowry]

That's so exciting.

[Becky]

Love you guys. If you're listening, buy tickets to Texas, because we're about to get.

[Kale Lowry]

It's gonna be fun. The Carolinas are the next stop, and we're doing Charlotte. We're doing Charleston, South Carolina. Charlotte, North Carolina. And then Durham, slash Raleigh, North Carolina. Those are the three shows coming up. Up next, if you're in the Carolinas, so just want to remind you to get your tickets. And other than that, Becky, I'm so excited to see you.

[Becky]

I'll be. I'll be there, too, so love you guys.

[Kale Lowry]

Love y'.

[Commercial Announcer]

All.

[Becky]

Bye.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it. And we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on killlow.com. and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon, because you might get it before everyone else. Foreign.

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[Kale Lowry]

We're All Gonna Die.

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[Kale Lowry]

It's okay. We're All Gonna Die. It's okay.

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We're all gonna die. Die.

[Becky]

It's okay.

[Kale Lowry]

We're all gonna die.

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[Kale Lowry]

Fantastic.

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That is so effective on Pluto TV.

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