It's Over For WaWa

Summary

Podcast Summary: "It's Over For WaWa" – Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Release Date: February 18, 2025

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter delves into the nuanced journeys of adulthood, friendship, and parenthood as Kail and Becky navigate their 30s. In the episode titled "It's Over For WaWa," released on February 18, 2025, the hosts explore personal growth, reflection on past selves, baby planning, and the complexities of maintaining relationships. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the episode.

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1. Setting the Stage: Personal Reflections and Humor

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted exchange about their choice of attire, showcasing Kail's Shrek shirt and Becky's Royal Farms shirt. This playful banter sets the tone for the candid and humorous conversation that follows.

Notable Quote:

• [03:17] Becky: "You know, it's funny that you're just wearing that shirt underneath and you just like, did a little strip tease and took it off and turned around."

2. Reflecting on Younger Selves and Personal Growth

Kail and Becky engage in a deep conversation about the popular TikTok trend of meeting one's younger self. This introspection leads them to discuss their own experiences and the challenges of offering advice to their past personas.

Key Points:

• Becky's Emotional Response: Becky shares how contemplating what she would say to her younger self brought her to tears, highlighting the emotional weight of personal growth.

  Notable Quote:

  • [04:45] Becky: "I was crying on the way here because I was thinking about what I would say."

• Kail’s Perspective on Regrets: Kail expresses that while she doesn't regret her life choices, she reflects on the manner in which she made certain decisions, emphasizing that experiences have shaped her empathy and character.

  Notable Quote:

  • [07:04] Kail: "I think that everything that I did up until this point has gotten me and led me to this point. So I don't think that I would have the same grit and character and true perspective."

3. Apologizing to Past Acquaintances

The hosts discuss the impact of their past behaviors on others, specifically addressing comments from high school acquaintances. Becky recounts reaching out to apologize for projecting her insecurities onto others, demonstrating personal accountability.

Key Points:

• Becky's Outreach: Becky talks about reaching out to a former acquaintance on Facebook, apologizing for any perceived negativity during their high school years.

  Notable Quote:

  • [14:26] Becky: "I've reached out... and she was really grateful for me, like, reaching out to her."

• Kail’s Desire for Feedback: Kail expresses a longing to understand how others perceived her during their earlier years, seeking constructive feedback to foster personal growth.

  Notable Quote:

  • [16:04] Kail: "I would be curious to know from those people... what did they actually perceive me to be?"

4. Baby Planning and Parenting Experiences

Transitioning to parenting, Kail and Becky share their experiences and plans surrounding their upcoming children. They delve into practical aspects like baby product purchases, insurance concerns, and the emotional readiness required for parenthood.

Key Points:

• Baby Gear Shopping: Becky describes the fun and exhaustive process of purchasing strollers and other baby essentials, emphasizing the joy and practical considerations involved.

  Notable Quote:

  • [34:21] Becky: "We had to do it... we saved like 300 bucks."

• Navigating Medical Processes: The conversation shifts to the complexities of adding a child to health insurance through adoption, highlighting the bureaucratic challenges faced by LGBTQ+ parents.

  Notable Quote:

  • [44:00] Becky: "I'm gonna have to go through the... Hopefully the adoption goes away."

• Hospital Selection: Becky and Kail discuss their criteria for choosing a hospital for childbirth, prioritizing facilities with NICUs and supportive staff to ensure the best care for their child.

  Notable Quote:

  • [49:33] Becky: "There's just an extra care just in case anything."

5. Interactions with Fans and Future Endeavors

The hosts reflect on their interactions with fans, both domestically and internationally, and contemplate expanding their podcast's reach with potential tours and new content ideas.

Key Points:

• Fan Engagement: Becky shares anecdotes of meeting fans during their Europe trip, enhancing their connection with the audience and recognizing the global impact of their work.

  Notable Quote:

  • [38:42] Becky: "I realized that there's a lot of Teen Mom fans in Ireland."

• Future Plans: Kail and Becky brainstorm ideas for future episodes and possible commercial pitches, infusing creativity and collaborative spirit into their projects.

  Notable Quote:

  • [31:30] Becky: "Picture that as a commercial."

6. Dealing with Online Trauma and Social Media Challenges

Kail opens up about the challenges of encountering past relationships and unwanted online interactions through social media platforms like Facebook, expressing the emotional toll it takes on her.

Key Points:

• Unwanted Online Presence: Kail discusses the frustration of encountering exes and past acquaintances on social media despite attempts to block or move past these connections.

  Notable Quote:

  • [47:27] Kail: "It's traumatizing every single time anyway."

• Becky's Supportive Stance: Becky empathizes with Kail's experience, advocating for proactive measures to maintain mental well-being in the face of persistent online disturbances.

  Notable Quote:

  • [48:15] Becky: "How do we keep them out?"

7. Sharing Personal Stories and Upcoming Events

The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as Becky recounts her unexpected adventure attending a Spice Girls concert in Dublin, illustrating the serendipitous moments that enrich their lives.

Key Points:

• Spice Girls Concert: Becky narrates the spontaneous decision to attend a concert, resulting in an unforgettable experience and deepening her appreciation for fan interactions.

  Notable Quote:

  • [37:42] Becky: "We had great seats. Like, it was one of the most amazing experiences ever."

• Upcoming Trips: The hosts express excitement about future trips to events like Salem Witch Trials and Bacon Fest, planning memorable outings with friends and family.

  Notable Quote:

  • [60:06] Becky: "Leah's best friend's gonna come, too."

8. Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

As the episode draws to a close, Kail and Becky emphasize the importance of community support, positive interactions, and maintaining authentic connections with their listeners.

Key Points:

• Community Interaction: Becky highlights the value of positive feedback within their Facebook group, encouraging listeners to engage constructively.

  Notable Quote:

  • [63:20] Becky: "You need to respond to positive things more than negative."

• Encouraging Authenticity: The hosts advocate for sincere and empathetic communication, both personally and within their podcast community.

  Notable Quote:

  • [62:31] Becky: "You should always live life like that."

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Conclusion

In "It's Over For WaWa," Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter offer a heartfelt and unfiltered glimpse into their lives, addressing personal growth, the intricacies of parenthood, and the enduring impact of past relationships. Their blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful reflections makes this episode a compelling listen for anyone navigating the unpredictable journey of modern adulthood.

Transcript

[Kale]

All right, y'all, whether you're searching for your next place to buy or rent, I'm sure you just want to scroll through some dream homes. And I'm suggesting the Redfin app. I just bought 20 acres in 2024, and I like to just look through the Redfin app to get some inspo for my dream home. But also, in case I decide I don't want to build and I want to buy again, I think it's amazing that they make it so easy. It's user friendly, especially because I'm not a tech savvy girly, and I love how user friendly the app is. Redfin makes it fun to search all the homes for sale and apartments for rent in your neighborhood. You can filter for prices, beds, bath, square footage, and so much more. And if you find the place you love, Redfin makes it easy to go see it in person. You just schedule a tour right from the app, which is different from some of the other apps. Plus, if you're looking to sell, Redfin agents know how to get you the best price possible for your home. And that's because they close twice as many deals as other agents with a listing fee as low as 1%. Redfin's fees are half of what others often charge. And that means that you'll have more money to put towards your next home, which is amazing. So whether you're looking to rent, buy, or sell, Redfin's got you covered. Download the Redfin app. To get started, get the Angel REEF special at McDonald's. Now, let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink.

[Becky]

Sound good?

[Kale]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time. Foreign.

[Becky]

Good morning, good day, good evening, and welcome back to karma and chaos.

[Kale]

I have something for you. Not for you. To you. I have something to you.

[Becky]

What does that even mean?

[Kale]

Are you ready?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

No. Yes. Wait.

[Kale]

Did you get. Wait, it's Shrek.

[Becky]

Let me see it.

[Kale]

I got it from the Tik Tok shop. Do you love it?

[Becky]

I love it. Can't today. I'm in this swamp. I'm swamped.

[Kale]

The book. The book club girlies. Emily and the book club girly sent me this link and I had forgot to wear it for several of the shoots, and I finally remembered to wear it for you. I should have got you one.

[Becky]

Yeah, I'm pissed a little bit.

[Kale]

Okay, well.

[Becky]

I got. I got. Not you. This shirt that I'm wearing. This is for Elijah, but I decided to wear it today for the episode.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

For those of you listening and not watching, Kale's wearing a Shrek shirt, and I'm wearing a royal farm shirt.

[Kale]

Yeah. Elijah was. He was like, why the are you wearing a famous fried chicken shirt if you guys don't know what we're referring to? You need to go back to one of the episodes. We'll link it all of the episodes mentioned. So it's called let's Compromise. It's an episode with Becky and myself, and we. We talked a lot about royal farms and how I feel about royal farms and also Shrek erotica. So, you know, just tune in.

[Becky]

You know, it's funny. It's funny that you're just wearing that shirt underneath and you just like, like, like did a little strip tease and took it off and turned around. It's good to see you, though.

[Kale]

Elijah was probably like, what the is this shirt? You know what I mean? Hanging in the closet. Cuz I like, put it on a hook that I would see it every day so I would remember to pack it.

[Becky]

Doesn't get it. You know?

[Kale]

Yeah, he doesn't get it, but you get it.

[Becky]

I. I do get.

[Kale]

Have you watched Shrek Erotica since.

[Becky]

Okay. Have I watched Shrek or just.

[Kale]

No. Have you watched Shrek Erotica since we were in New Orleans?

[Becky]

I haven't watched Shrek Erotica ever.

[Kale]

So I was just checking.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Just doing a pulse check.

[Becky]

Yeah. We're in New York.

[Kale]

We're in New York City.

[Becky]

We're together.

[Kale]

We are in person, which is fun. Yeah. I love getting together in person. It's. It's a. It's a good time.

[Becky]

Yeah. It works out perfect because it's just a little short trip for me to.

[Kale]

Come to New York, but nobody wanted to eat with me at 10am I don't understand what's going on.

[Becky]

So I got. I got here and not Alexandra correcting.

[Kale]

Me in the background saying, nobody wanted to eat Thai food at 10am yeah.

[Becky]

She's like, yeah, we're here for the whole day. We're gonna go.

[Kale]

I've been here since Wednesday.

[Becky]

Yeah, you've been working hard.

[Kale]

I did have a really, really incredible interview with someone that I'm excited for people to listen to on Barely Famous.

[Becky]

I'm proud of you always.

[Kale]

Thank you.

[Becky]

I was crying on the way here because I was listening to. I was thinking, you know how that you got. You both just did that tik tok trend of I met with my younger self.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And So I started crying on the way here because I was thinking about what I would say.

[Kale]

What would you say? First of all, would your younger self be earlier, late, or right on time?

[Becky]

My younger self would be 10 minutes early and wait in the car till the time that they were supposed to be there.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Same as my person.

[Kale]

What would your order have been?

[Becky]

I wrote down. I didn't start. I didn't finish. I just wrote my beginning sentence. It says, I didn't meet my younger self for coffee because I met her at a bar.

[Kale]

Oh, oh, we're going balls to the walls.

[Becky]

But no, that. That, like, is a fun. Like, I knew that's where she would be. Meeting new people, making memories with her friends. Because, like, that's what I was doing.

[Kale]

Oh, okay. I got, like.

[Becky]

As my young self, I thought we.

[Kale]

Were, like, going deep. Like, you were, like, reflecting.

[Becky]

No, no. And it's funny because when you first hear that, you think, oh, is she. Was she, like, an alcoholic? But no, that's just my early twenties. What. What younger self are we talking to as well? Like, when I think about it, I think about, like, my young 20s, right?

[Kale]

I was thinking teenager.

[Becky]

My teenager wasn't even a person then. Right. Like, there's no advice I could give them because they didn't know anything. My younger 20s is who I'd want to talk to.

[Kale]

That's fair.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I like the spin on that, though.

[Becky]

Yeah. I can't finish it, though, because I have to figure it out. Because I was like, oh, my God. The thing that got me was, what if my younger self asked about my parents? And I'm like, oh, God, what do I even tell them? You know?

[Kale]

That's really hard. Yeah, that's really hard.

[Becky]

That's why I was crying on the way here.

[Kale]

Alessandra actually told me it was a poem. Like, that. That whole structure is like a poem that some, like, a creator did. And I.

[Becky]

It is a poem. And so when I. Like, when I was thinking about it, too, it was like. Like, do you. What do you warn. What do you warn your, like, younger self about? Right. Like. Or do you just let them. Like, if I told my younger self that my dad was gonna get sick, it might, like, take away from their lived experience until then, you know? Because I wouldn't change anything, really. No. If my. Anything. I went like my life today, if I would go through everything again.

[Kale]

I actually feel that. I think there are some regrets about how I did them. Not necessarily the things that I did, but how I did them. Yeah, right. Like, But I do think that everything that I did up until this point has gotten me and led me to this point. So I don't think that I would have the same grit and character and truly perspective, right? Like when people are like, oh, you shouldn't be giving advice. You have four baby dads. Well, that's why I should be giving advice, because I lived it. Do you know what I mean? For sure, you shouldn't be getting advice because you have a. You know, this house on. You know that you built a house and you. You're out of touch. And the third. But I was in a homeless shelter. You know what I mean? For sure. So I. I think that to your point, like, I agree with you.

[Becky]

You know what I mean?

[Kale]

We're. That'll be my next shirt. Do you know what I mean? Cecilia Poetry. We love her. She. We loved that.

[Becky]

What a beautiful. What a beautiful thing.

[Kale]

Yeah, I.

[Becky]

And I would always finish it off with. In my mind. I would be like. Like, the last piece of advice, I would tell myself was always to remember that, like, you don't. You don't hate living. You just hate this chapter of life, right? Like that. And I said that to someone else, someone DM me, and they were saying something, I was like, listen, like, you do not hate living. Like, that is something you need to understand. You just hate the way that your life is right now because life can change a million times.

[Kale]

To that point, I would like to recommend anyone who has not read the Wedding People. Read it.

[Becky]

What is the Wedding People?

[Kale]

It's a. It's nothing like what I. I don't know what I thought it was going to be, but. Is it a contemporary fiction?

[Becky]

I don't know what that means.

[Kale]

I don't actually know what contemporary fiction means. I just. It was so good. A woman, her. Her husband has an affair, and she goes to a hotel to kill herself. And she meets the wedding people that are all there for a wedding. And this whole story kind of develops and unfolds and all the character development is so good. It's so, so good. So there's, like, dry humor, there's relatability, there's grief, there's. There's cheating, there's affairs. There's, you know, right. Right person, wrong place. Wrong person, wrong place. I don't know.

[Becky]

It was a pig noise out of your.

[Kale]

I did.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So sorry. Came from my throat. I was supposed to get my tonsils out, so it's probably them.

[Becky]

That sounds like a book I might read, because that. But I feel like I just cry throughout it.

[Kale]

No, you wouldn't cry. It's dark humor. Would you cry? Did you.

[Becky]

I cried the whole time.

[Kale]

So that. Did you cry?

[Becky]

Look at this. That's all the times I've cried so far this year.

[Kale]

I'm sorry. You have a catalog?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

When I. I think when you said that you kept a catalog of when you cried, I think that went in one ear and out the other. I feel like that's the most insane thing. Can I see that? Like, pull it up. Like, what do you put? Do you put why you cried?

[Becky]

I put my feeling the reason. And then if it's a book or a movie, I'll put the title of the book or movie. But, like, the reason has right now.

[Kale]

Like, what's the red versus the yellow versus the green?

[Becky]

Red is sad, green is happy, and then y. Yellow is mixed emotions.

[Kale]

Is that an app or did you create that? Like, what is that?

[Becky]

It's a Google sheet that I created.

[Kale]

To keep track of your crying.

[Becky]

Yeah, so I can do a crying raft at the end of the year.

[Kale]

The first. I know. We already talked.

[Becky]

We already talked about this.

[Kale]

When was I disassociated?

[Becky]

Probably.

[Kale]

Oh, we recorded in Texas. We. Were you in Texas? You weren't in Texas? What's funny?

[Becky]

No, I wasn't in Texas.

[Kale]

How did I record with her in Texas?

[Becky]

Yes, you were in your hotel room and we recorded an episode about your New Year's resolution.

[Kale]

I'm concerned. I'm actually concerned. Did you take, like, the meds early before the service? Imagine. I'm concerned. No, I have no recollection of that.

[Becky]

Anyway, yeah, that's on my list of.

[Kale]

A crying wrapped at the end of the year. I don't know if it's genius.

[Becky]

It's something.

[Kale]

Or undo.

[Becky]

It's not. It's not.

[Kale]

No, no. That's not something people do. That's something you do. You made it up.

[Becky]

It's not. It's not.

[Kale]

I've never seen this in my life.

[Becky]

Okay, well, you have, because I've showed you and.

[Kale]

Yeah, well, everybody go back and listen to the first episode of the year.

[Becky]

All right?

[Kale]

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[Becky]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

Upgrade your business and get the same checkout skims uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comkarma all lowercase go to shopify.comkarma to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comkarma.

[Kale]

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[Becky]

Speaking about my younger self.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Someone commented on my Instagram post from high school. A girl I knew in high school wasn't friends with her in high school, just like acquaintance. And she said something alluding to like me not being a great person in high school, but like she was happy to see that I like had changed and grown up.

[Kale]

And do you agree with that?

[Becky]

Yeah, maybe a little bit. But. And so it makes me think about like how I was and who I was.

[Kale]

Why. Why would she have thought felt that way? Or why would you maybe agree with.

[Becky]

I was just like, kind of like the like jock in high school. Right? Like, I was like, I don't know.

[Kale]

That doesn't make you a shitty person.

[Becky]

No, no, I don't think I was a shitty person. I think that there was probably at times where I projected my own insecurities on other people.

[Kale]

In what way?

[Becky]

Because I was made fun of a lot up like before high school. And so I had to when I because I was a good athlete, I got a lot of attention. So I kind of had to try to be a person that like, popular people liked. And so that didn't always include being the nicest to everyone, but I did. It's weird because it, I feel like it was split because I feel like I did go out of my way in high school to make sure that people felt included and was nice to a lot of people that like weren't running in the same crowd that I was. But there's probably a few People that felt like I was just this person and, like, that had no type of empathy, that had no type of concern or care. But I. I do feel like reflecting now. A lot of it was just a projection because so many people treated me like, before that that. Like, it was my turn to just be a person that had that authority, that had that control other people. So I've actually apologized. I'm friends with this girl on Facebook, and she also posted something about, like, kids back in high school because she got made fun of a lot. And I, like, reach. I was like, if I was ever that person, like, I apologize, like, I'm so sorry. And I've done that a couple times. And she was really grateful for me, like, reaching out to her.

[Kale]

Do you think that the girl who commented on your post, do you think that that is helpful to you today?

[Becky]

Yeah, because, I mean, it makes you, like, recognize who you are in someone's life, right? Like, I'm not naive to that. And I do feel, like, feel apologetic to those people that I might have hurt or been evil in their story. Right. Like, I'm sure there's plenty of people. I was good in their story, but I'm not a stranger to that. But I think that the reflection is. And what I took out of it is that there's a noticeable change. Right? Like, my character and my morals and my values now have grown, which is all you can kind of ask for as a person. And I'm not, like, I am not a perfect person.

[Kale]

I mean, I know I thought that you were at one point, but I understand where you're coming, but I actually wish that's because up until this point, nobody. There's only been one person that I. I wasn't really friends with that has ever written to me and apologized to me, but nobody has come forward and, like, first of all, disputed anything I've ever said, even a perspective, difference of opinion. Nothing. I would almost appreciate someone writing in and just letting me know what they thought of me back then.

[Becky]

Like, who?

[Kale]

You.

[Becky]

Who were you in their story?

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, was I just. Because I. I would say, and I don't say this for pity. I don't say this, you know, to be like, oh, Kale. But it's like, I was very unremarkable. So there was nothing special about me as unremarkable. Like, there was nothing like the way that I picture myself in other people's stories growing up, before I was on tv. Yeah, was. Maybe someone knew who I was. Vaguely knew who I was, you know, What I mean, like, just, like, very unremarkable. But I would be curious to know from those people that I think would think of me as unremarkable, what did they actually perceive me to be? And obviously, I'm a different person today regardless. But, like, what did they think?

[Becky]

Yeah, I mean, I didn't know you.

[Kale]

Yeah, I'll stop saying that. It's like, take a shot every time I say you do. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

We should do an episode, a drinking episode where we have to take, like, shots or, like, do a power hour.

[Kale]

With as long as they're. Well, first of all, I'm never drinking beer. Well, okay, I'll do Smirnoff. And that's an O. That's a nod to Susie. Boozy Susie and I. What's funny about that? What's funny about that?

[Becky]

Not this weird. Are we are.

[Kale]

Yeah, we 14 again. And that's all I know. Well, because my mom used to drink that a lot, so I don't even remember what I was saying. I will do it as long as I don't have somewhere to be the next day. So if it's, like, for sure, while we're on a trip that I know that I don't have to be up for work and taking care of kids in the morning about it, I think.

[Becky]

That would be fun.

[Kale]

I would definitely do that. I would. Also, me and Elijah should do something like that. Like a relationship game.

[Becky]

Oh, and drink wine. Yeah, we can plan that. I think that if someone is listening that knew Kale in high school, reach out to me because I'll probably read it before she would and I'll let her know.

[Kale]

Also, constructive criticism only. Like, you can say I was a piece of back then. But, like, be nice about it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just not in the mental space to be like, I. I guess that's fair. Do you know what I like, if you're going to tell me that you hated my guts and I was awful to you. Yeah, just be nice.

[Becky]

I feel a lot of weight of. Of, like, sad. Like, when I realized that I was someone's villain in their story, it makes me really sad.

[Kale]

I actually, the one person that reached out to me was within the last, I think, six months, I'll read it to you. And we weren't really, like, we weren't close. We were just sort of mutual. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but that.

[Becky]

It's. It's so crazy because we could. We could be.

[Kale]

This is what it said. Like, look how long it is. Yeah.

[Becky]

We could be anyone in someone else's story. Like, that's what, like, you might feel like you are this, like, sliver of time and that was mentioned through someone, but they might feel like you were a whole chapter and just not for any other reason than the impact of what you did, what you said. Right. Like, I have people. I have, like, situations in my mind where I had said one sentence to someone, and that shit has lasted me a lifetime because of the impact of the discomfort or the harm that I caused someone by that singular sentence, Someone I didn't know.

[Kale]

Actually, I was talking. The. One of the people I interviewed yesterday, we had that conversation because she was saying this one thing that her mom said to her as a child, stuck with her for her entire life. And I asked her, do you think that same thing held true for your sister her entire life? And she's like, I don't know. I'd have to ask her. But, like. And I was like, I just hope that when I'm, you know, if I'm yelling at my kids, I hope one of those things doesn't stick. I hope it's something that is more impactful, more meaningful, not my worst moments. You know what I mean? But, like, obviously we can't prevent that.

[Becky]

Yeah. I think about that so often. Obviously, now that I'm about to have my first child is. Unfortunately, a lot of the things I remember from childhood aren't good. Right.

[Kale]

I actually saw a TikTok of a creator, a mom. I don't know if she's a creator, but she's a mom. She's. She came up on my for you page, and she was talking about how you could give your child, you know, a pretty good, like, an overall really good childhood. You could take them to Disney every other year, go on family vacations, have family dinners every single night. And they could remember just the times that you were flipping out at them. And when they grow up, they remember their childhood to be very traumatic. And they don't remember the vacations, and they don't remember the good times, and they only remember those. And I. It kind of scared me because I was like, well, so parents are truly. There's no way out of traumatizing your children because one small. What feels like a blip in time for us is not that way for them necessarily.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You know what I mean? Oh, just honestly, just do a compilation of all the times I say, do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

Everywhere, though? Because I had a great childhood. But I do remember like more traumatic parts of it than I do. Good parts of it.

[Kale]

Yeah. I have. I want to read you a part of what the. What she said to me, though.

[Becky]

Leah just texted me, why is your winter jacket at home? We are supposed to have winter weather.

[Kale]

I also forgot a coat. Okay. So really quickly she says, if I'm being completely. Mind you, this. This is. She's talking about seventh or eighth grade. Okay. So 2000. Maybe like seven. 2007, she said. If I'm being completely honest. I remember feeling like you were kind of mean or that we didn't exactly mesh, but I was also very shy and awkward. Anyway, I've listened to you share your stories all these years, and through our relationship was just a small blip in time. I literally just said that listening to you reflect on your life makes me wish that I could have had more of a capacity. Capacity to understand what you were going through at the time, at home, during the time of your life. I realized now as an adult that you were likely hurting more than anything else. Else. And that the opinion that I had of you in some of those moments wasn't really who you were. I know we were all just kids, but it hurts my heart to think that maybe there were times that I could have been more understanding and possibly been a better friend, even though I didn't. I wouldn't necessarily have said that we were friends, but we had mutual friends, and so. And I don't know that I was ever mean. I think maybe standoffish is maybe what she means. I don't know. I truly don't know. But I. I actually appreciated that message. And I wish that more people, like, throughout different parts of my life, because I moved around a lot, so I went to different schools and stuff like that. So I say all that to say that I hope that someone will kindly tell me about myself. You know what I mean? Oh.

[Becky]

I find to be such. And I know some people get pissed off about how, like, positive I am, but it's only as she rubs off on me. But I find it to be such a beautiful thing to reflect on because, like, as you grow, you have such a different perspective of life. And so looking back and thinking about that message and thinking about you in high school, it's like you're able to just consume it a little bit more as a bigger picture now than we would have been at any point.

[Kale]

I also. And I was talking to Alessandra about this this morning. I have a really hard time. I'll take accountability for something I've Done. But I don't want to face the person while I do it. So, like, do you know what I'm saying?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I didn't say it. You know what I mean? I can take account, but I think.

[Becky]

That'S hard in general for people.

[Kale]

Right. But I like here, I don't know what I'm trying to say. Face to face accountability is so much harder. And so, you know, her, this. This woman coming directly to me and telling me and then we. Us having a conversation about it. You know, I wish that it could have been face to face. That would have been really cool because I. I need help doing that and I don't do that very well. And so I think, you know, you opening the doors to this conversation, like, maybe people can come forward and we can have more in person conversation so I can reflect in that way.

[Becky]

And not only us. I think if someone's listening to this podcast and are thinking to themselves, maybe I should just send a message to that person from high school.

[Kale]

That might go a long way or it might not. And don't get your feelings hurt.

[Becky]

Yeah. Or that it might be met with combativeness. But you don't know what that person's going through if you don't know them right now. So just take it for what it is.

[Kale]

Feel like I'm stuck. I'm so attached to people I went to high school with. Like, it's very weird. I think I emphasize my place in their lives and I hold on to the memories like they just happened. And I un. Like when I. I'm friends with them on Facebook, like, they don't think twice about me. They don't know what I like. They don't think about me on a daily basis. Of them so often that it's like, unhealthy.

[Becky]

I find it funny that you just forgot the tea in often.

[Kale]

Often. I thought the tea was silent often. What? You say forward as if the R is silent.

[Becky]

Okay, we're not talking about me right now.

[Kale]

I thought it's awesome. Hey, Siri. Do I have Siri on here? Okay, hold on. Is the tea silent in? We've already been doing 30 minutes of.

[Becky]

Heavy and I still, like, we're only. We've only talked about one thing.

[Kale]

Wait. Yes. It says yes. The T in often is considered silent in standard pronunciation. But now if you Google, is the R silent in forward often? It's something about Becky with Kale. They're just. Just bullshitters. Honestly. That's how it was with Sterling. I. Honestly, if anyone here for karma and Chaos listened to the episodes with Sterling. It ended up being two episodes because we recorded for so long. But we could have kept going. And then we did. But I would guess alessandra probably spent 20 or 25 hours editing and trying to get that. No, no, not editing things out, just editing in general. Because we got sidetracked. We stopped. We were making sounds, we were laughing, we were doing like. It was like her and I could never have a podcast because we would never like. We would be in debt, ma'am.

[Becky]

We would be in debt from the support needed. But I love this podcast. But I love it because I get to do it with you. And we're friends first and foremost. And I love a good yapping session of just like shooting the. And not for nothing, we talk about things in life. We talk about, like, our thoughts and feelings and so this is just fun. It doesn't feel like work, right?

[Kale]

No, I don't feel like. I don't think it feels like work. It's expensive. But like, do you know, like to be here? Do you know, like this studio. But that's work. Do you know what I mean? Like that.

[Becky]

Riverside, here we come.

[Kale]

No, I like them. I like them in person better. Do you guys like them in person or.

[Becky]

Yeah, no, they like it in person. I'm building a studio at my house, so you can just come on there.

[Kale]

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[Becky]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

I do. And we have our Branch Basics actually set up all around our house. It's cool. They send these reusable bottles, and we have them coded for each room that they're supposed to be in. They have lists and names on them.

[Kale]

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[Becky]

Royal Farm blue.

[Kale]

Yeah, don't do that. It's cobalt blue. You don't need to call it Royal Farms blue. You know what? If they give me a sponsorship, though, it's over for Wawa. It's over. Seriously, Right now.

[Becky]

I did tag them in my Instagram post.

[Kale]

They missed an opportunity. Do you know that? And Alessandra came up with an entire concept for a Wawa commercial.

[Becky]

You should have your own sandwich there.

[Kale]

What do I need to do for Wawa to understand the impact? There are people that tag me on Facebook and say while they're traveling, they stop at Wawa because of me. And Wawa is up because they could have. This is the concept that I have. Are you ready? Well, Alessandra came up with it. I was like, we can just film it on our own. It's fine. It could also work for Royal Farms. So I'm just saying. Okay, so do they have an app? Does anyone know if Royal Farms has an app? They got it. They've got world famous chicken merch. So Wawa has an app, and I get 15. I get 15 cents off a gallon. Are you guys listening to me?

[Becky]

Yeah, with the hat. Okay, keep going.

[Kale]

I'm pissed. We pull up in the DDE in the Suburban, okay? We open the car doors, right? I hop out. Slow mo, super dramatic comes out. Smoke comes out. Well, no. No smoke comes. Trash Wawa sandwiches tumble out, diapers. No. But then the kids get out one by one, and it's like one kid after another. Do you know what I mean? And then we walk into Wawa, we get our subs, we get our hoagies, we get our ghost energy, and we come out with, there's. There's nine of us in my family. And we all love Wawa. So we walk in and we walk out, and they. We have all of our stuff. Do you know what I mean? But could you picture it in your head? Like, us riding to the park.

[Becky]

Picture that as a commercial.

[Kale]

Dramatic exit out of the Suburban and.

[Becky]

Like, one by one.

[Kale]

Now it. Denali.

[Becky]

It looks like a clown car.

[Kale]

Right? Like, and it's just, like, it keeps going, keep coming out. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like we walk in, we get this, we get this, we get the hoagies. Dramatic. But now it might be Royal Farms.

[Becky]

We need to get this. And then I'll be the cash register person.

[Kale]

Imagine. Imagine. Oh, my God. It's the whole crew. Everyone that I know is in the Wawa is a different person. But I love it.

[Becky]

Yeah. Kristen's behind the counter making the hoagies. Yeah. Lindsay can be in it, too.

[Kale]

Oh, I would die.

[Becky]

She gave you the gas. Attendant.

[Kale]

Oh, well, we have to go to one in Jersey then.

[Becky]

Oh, they're not the same.

[Kale]

No, we don't get. We don't have pumpers, but no, that.

[Becky]

I love that.

[Kale]

I. I really think that could be a pitch It. Honestly, we should just.

[Becky]

Should have been a Super bowl commercial.

[Kale]

Wait, you know what we should do? Truly would be able to do it. We should film one at Wawa and one at Royal Farms. Pitch it to them and see which one takes it.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Here's the concept.

[Becky]

I'm in. My time is free until they pay us for it.

[Kale]

You're like, we're on loan.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Alessandra, too, because she came up with the concept. So thank you. 10.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

15. It's generous. Family discount. Thea, how does it smell?

[Becky]

Yeah, does it smell? Does it smell? Does it smell?

[Kale]

People listening to this episode.

[Becky]

I think that our episodes are getting better the more chaotic they are. Because I think we're really starting to get into our vibe of things. Right. We're not. I'd like the not so structured, but I come prepared, like.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

With. With topics.

[Kale]

You do.

[Becky]

Anyway, Leia and I went clothes shopping yesterday again. We just accidentally went there.

[Kale]

You accidentally went and spent thousands of dollars. Because I know what those strollers cost.

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But then we went.

[Kale]

Accidentally. We went.

[Becky]

There was a TJ Maxx next to it, so we had to go in. But we did decide instead of going to a fancy restaurant for Valentine's Day, we went to Applebee's.

[Kale]

Oh, I love that.

[Becky]

And it was. We had the best day.

[Kale]

Did you get diarrhea?

[Becky]

No. And so we were Laughing and just having, like, we had such a great day. I would highly suggest. I know that we, Leah and I, both work really hard and we're supposed to let other people buy us strollers and stuff. But we had so much fun buying the stroller ourselves.

[Kale]

Okay, that's fair.

[Becky]

Like, it was such a cute, like, fun experience for us where, like, we went, we tested them out, and then we're like, we can't just walk away with nothing.

[Kale]

You know, let's do it.

[Becky]

So we bought the whole thing.

[Kale]

What did you end up getting?

[Becky]

We ended up getting the uppababy.

[Kale]

Loved it.

[Becky]

We got the green color, we got the bassinet, the car seat, the whole package. It was 15 off because bye bye Baby was going out of sale. So we saved like 300 bucks.

[Kale]

Okay, fair.

[Becky]

So we had to do it. But I just want to tell people, stop DMing me and telling me to stop by baby clothes. One, I'm not going to stop buying baby clothes. Two, I'm not buying zero to three months. Like, I'm buying six to nine. Nine to 12. 12 months. And if I have too many clothes and don't use them, I'll give them to a friend that needs them.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So stop telling me to stop buying baby clothes.

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah. Because I think so often, too. And also, this is just not going to use them. I'm like, like, okay, a tip for anyone that is gifting someone for a baby is. And I know this is a lot of work, so, like, just take it with a grain of salt if you want. But consider when the baby is due and then what size they're going to be per season. What are we doing? What are we laughing about? What is it? Kale and her. What is natural habitat?

[Becky]

Okay, keep going.

[Kale]

Like, for example, when you have your baby shower, people will have a general idea of when your baby is due. Right. So I would most likely, whatever gift I get, say I'm gonna get clothes or something that is by age. I'm gonna think about what season that baby will be in. So many, so often, you know, with my kids, people gift clothing that they can't wear because they get it for 12 months when it's the middle of winter and it's a bathing suit, something like that. So just keep that in mind. I know that it takes a little bit of work, but it just, it helps out. Anybody else is like me. I have forgotten so many items that the baby could have worn because of.

[Becky]

The out of season.

[Kale]

Yeah. Being out of season, not remembering. Also the little tags for the closet. Have you seen those with the sizes? Those will be helpful.

[Becky]

Yeah. We think about season when we're buying stuff, but that's another. You just brought up a really great point in life. People keep DMing me and saying, what are people going to buy for your baby shower? Buy me nothing. If I want to buy my own clothes, it's going to say, don't buy clothes, because Becky bought them all. It's my fucking kid. Like, I like the amount of enjoyment Leah and I had running around tj, Max being like, just holding it up and being like, isn't this cute? Add it to the cart. Like, you need that.

[Kale]

I'm going to get you Baby Gates because your house is dangerous.

[Becky]

Oh.

[Kale]

And I'm going to get you those things that go on the corners of things because your house is so sharp. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, I just don't want Bex to, like, be hitting his head on something. So I think Baby Gates from me will be a really great.

[Becky]

There's plenty of stuff we're gonna need outside of clothes. And I get. They're like, oh, you take the enjoyment away from other people being able to buy your clothes. It's not their kid. They didn't just pay $40,000 for it.

[Kale]

Taylor's baby shower was really cute. And she did, like, an unwrapped. An unwrapped. Don't. Don't come wrapped. And it was, like. Had, like, a display of, like, all the items. And I thought that was really cute. And also just, like, environmentally.

[Becky]

Are you gonna come to our baby shower?

[Kale]

Yeah, of course.

[Becky]

Cool.

[Kale]

I just have to. If the sooner you know, the better.

[Becky]

We're gonna do a date soon.

[Kale]

Cool. Love that.

[Becky]

But I do enjoy people sending me books. I've talked about that before. People have been sending books as cards, too.

[Kale]

And, like. Right?

[Becky]

Yeah. Like writing a little note in them.

[Kale]

Yeah. Did you ever listen to the Spice Spice Girls when you were a kid?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

One of them is writing is coming out with the children's book. So I'm gonna get it for you.

[Becky]

Do you want to hear a story?

[Kale]

Yeah. Spice up your life.

[Becky]

It's relative to Spice Girls.

[Kale]

Oh.

[Becky]

So Lee and I did a little bit of a euro trip in 2018. 2019. Don't remember the exact date, but we landed in Dublin and we were only there for that night. And the next day a little bit. And we had traveled a bunch, so we took a nap, and I woke up to all these messages on my phone, and they're like, oh, my God. Are you in Dublin for the Spice Girl World Tour premiere? And I said, said, no, no. And it was 5pm when we woke up, and I'm. I'm like, lee, I look over at Leah, I said, do we go? And she was like, yeah. So we looked up tickets. The concert was in an hour. We bought tickets. We went to the concert, and it was one of the most amazing experiences ever. We were sitting next to Baby Spice's family.

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

Because we bought tickets so last minute. So there was people selling, like, trying, like, to sell tickets. We had great seats. Like, it was amazing.

[Kale]

In another country.

[Becky]

Yeah. So much fun.

[Kale]

Were all five of them there?

[Becky]

No, Posh wasn't there. But unironically, the next day or two days later, I went to Manchester. That was our next stop. And there was all these people on the train with jerseys. And I was like, oh, I thought there wasn't a game today. Why is everyone in Jersey? So I looked next to me and he goes, oh, the ManU99 team is coming back to play.

[Kale]

And I was like, got to go to that, too.

[Becky]

I look at Leah and she goes, I'm not going. And I said. I said, okay. So I bought myself a ticket and I went by myself and I met all these people there. And then I went and met up with Leah for dinner later, and we were drunk, walking down the street, and this whole group of people started cheering my name because I met them at the game.

[Kale]

That is so funny.

[Becky]

But that trip to Dublin is when I realized that there's a lot of Teen mom fans in Ireland. I couldn't walk down the street without getting stopped, which is so crazy.

[Kale]

I. I think, too. And maybe anybody that's listening that is from another country. I think other countries get it later too, so it's more relevant.

[Becky]

So I think that would make sense.

[Kale]

My exit from teen mom in 2022 came, like, a year or two late to them. So, like, I still have the fan base. I do, because I think other countries get it late.

[Becky]

We need to do a show over in Europe somewhere.

[Kale]

I would love that.

[Becky]

Did you see on the Facebook group, Shout out to the Facebook. Facebook groupies. We love you guys.

[Kale]

Love them. The Kermas.

[Becky]

Did you see the girl that posted a picture of my lookalike in Australia?

[Kale]

Yes. And I was shook, actually. Would love to go to Australia.

[Becky]

Yeah. I'm down.

[Kale]

I'm down. I'll go there first, and then we'll go to the uk.

[Becky]

The content of you meeting a kangaroo.

[Kale]

Can I get A tame one, though.

[Becky]

Can we, like, not in the wild.

[Kale]

Not in the wild.

[Becky]

In action. In, like. Like a zoo.

[Kale]

Oh, not a zoo.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

We don't support the zoo.

[Becky]

Maybe like a preserve.

[Kale]

Yeah. Do they have those, like a sanctuary? I'm sure they do. Yeah, surely. What else is on your list?

[Becky]

I have a couple things on my list. One, do you ever know or. This is really for anyone listening, because I don't think you're an autopilot person about work. So Leah always accidentally says in her customer service voice, she'll be like, you know, Leah Pac, like Pocono, like, and she'll be talking to, like, the person taking her order for takeout. Right. Like, she accidentally is on autopilot and she'll say things as if she's picking up the phone for work. Does that ever happen to you?

[Kale]

Like, she'll be like.

[Becky]

Someone will pick up and be like, hey, this is Domino's. What can I help you with? And she's like, hi, this is Leah Pac from, like, a provider. Like, because in the ER she has to call. So, like, so many people.

[Kale]

No, that doesn't. I mean, I don't know what I would say.

[Becky]

Yeah, I'm just. Just can if. I just want to hear people's embarrassing stories of them.

[Kale]

Like, hello, this is the Nick can of Delaware.

[Becky]

Hello, this is God speaking.

[Kale]

Top of the world.

[Becky]

This is God speaking. You know what I mean? I have something that I also would like to talk about. Why are you always looking me like that?

[Kale]

Because I never know what you're gonna say.

[Becky]

You know how last time we talked about maternity leave?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

First of all, I've gotten a lot of people reaching out, not reading the full story. Leah works in pa. She doesn't get FMLA in New Jersey. I actually might, though. So from that whole episode, I might get leave more. Leave through New Jersey.

[Kale]

Short term disability, I read.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's what she uses. That's what hers is. Through another crazy thing that I have to do. Did you know that I have to adopt baby backs?

[Kale]

No. Even though it's your egg?

[Becky]

Yeah. Or it's biologically my child. But you have to adopt them.

[Kale]

Why not her?

[Becky]

That's just the law of the land.

[Kale]

But if it was a surrogate situation, they have to adopt their own biological child.

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

And not the surrogate.

[Becky]

No.

[Kale]

And what's crazy is, like, when did you learn this?

[Becky]

We've always known it because it's a part of the process. Like, seed Scout walked us through meeting a lawyer. We have a lawyer that like, helps us through all that.

[Kale]

I'm not understanding that it's your biological child.

[Becky]

What blows my mind, right, Is like, there's all this stuff that I have to go through so that that child is owned by both of us. But as a hetero couple, say for yourself, any of your kids, you could have put any man's name on that birth certificate. They don't take a DNA test.

[Kale]

They should. Not for mine. Not for mine. But like, I never. I always kn.

[Becky]

But you know what I mean? Like, it's like, why does it matter? Obviously two females didn't biologically have a child together. I get there has to be some precautions. But, like, why does it matter whose two names are on the list are on the birth certificate? Because straight people don't. It's not like they're doing DNA tests.

[Kale]

Well, but even still, like, not that I would want Leah to have to go through it either, but, like, she is the one. Yes, she carried the baby, but it's not biologically related to her. So why is she not the one that is. Like, that doesn't make sense to me. No, it's. The system is not set up for.

[Becky]

A lawyer and you have to pay to go through adoption. My concern now is, am I just. Am I going to be able to add my child to my health insurance?

[Kale]

Yes, because when you adopt a child, like, if you were a regular.

[Becky]

But I'm gonna have to go through the. Hopefully the adoption goes away.

[Kale]

Like, it's your biological child, though, so why would you have to do any of that extra. It's like, truly, I could have put any body on the birth certificate or nobody at all.

[Becky]

That's what I mean.

[Kale]

And that's terrifying, actually.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Because you could literally, like, what if I never had this situation happen? But if you were to have a child and you know who the dad is, or if you don't and they're not there, can you still add them or. They have to sign. Because I. I'm 99. Sure. And I know I've had a ton of children. But, like, I'm pretty sure they all had to sign an acknowledgment of patern. Even when I was married, I believe Javi signed an acknowledgment of paternity for Lincoln. So you can't just, like, willy nilly, slap somebody's name on a birth certificate.

[Becky]

I think you can.

[Kale]

I don't think so, because that would you.

[Becky]

Yeah, but there's a DNA test. Like, you.

[Kale]

Right, but what I'm saying is like for example, it was to. Because we were together on and off. If I was to have put his name on the birth certificate and then we broke up because he wasn't the biological child, he is still responsible for child support.

[Becky]

Really?

[Kale]

Yes. And to undo that, to undo someone that is not supposed to be on the birth certificate is a goddamn nightmare. I've watched enough DNA tests and stuff. Yes, DNA, yes. And, but you'd have to go through like hearings because if the person doesn't want to do it or the biological father doesn't want to do it, you have to go like file in the court. The judge has to order it. They have to be mandated. You have to go to a specific lab like to undo that. So I do not think that you can just willy nilly slap someone on there. Because if I.

[Becky]

You could, you can willy nilly.

[Kale]

No, you cannot. Because that person would be responsible for child support.

[Becky]

Yeah, like the, the long term they.

[Kale]

Have to sign basically saying.

[Becky]

Yeah, but that's still just signing.

[Kale]

But they have to physically be there.

[Becky]

You don't have to do pre stuff to do it.

[Kale]

It's literally just sign like we're saying the same thing. You can put any. I could put on the birth certificate like he wanted. I could have.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

But then to undo that would be a nightmare.

[Becky]

Not like, like he wanted.

[Kale]

He did. And I said no.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Did you meet him?

[Becky]

Yeah, a bunch. Now it's easier to manage PMS with estro control. Estro control is a formula developed by Happy Mammoth, a supplement company dedicated to making women's lives easier. Estro control contains science back herbal extracts that help support hormonal health, especially in women who suffer from pms.

[Kale]

The way estro control eases PMS is quite interesting. And the ingredients help support the liver. And that's actually where our hormones get processed, especially estrogen. So when the estrogen isn't processed well in the liver, many women may start having the PMS spots on the skin, the cravings. They feel low all of a sudden, that's me. I definitely have suffered from that. And estro control was created to help women feel like themselves all throughout the month. Because PMS can rob them of a week of their lives every single month. And it's just not fair.

[Becky]

Estro control is made spec specifically for women who are pre menopausal. So it's perfect for women that haven't entered menopause yet. In fact, it's amazing for perimenopause when hormones start to fluctuate and PMS can turn Into a beast. For a limited time, you can get 15 off your entire first order@happy mammoth.com. just use the code Karma at checkout.

[Kale]

One of my exes came up on my timeline today. Do you know? How jarring. But, like, for it to come up organically on my timeline when I haven't talked about you or to you or anything like that, it's like, that's a different kind of trauma that I think so many people don't understand. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

Because it's like, if any of my exes, like my trauma exes, I would.

[Kale]

Well, it's. It's like an uncomfortable thing because you don't expect it. And so just to like. Like I was. And it was on Facebook.

[Becky]

That should be illegal.

[Kale]

It was truly.

[Becky]

So I should be able to sue someone for that or at least charge, like, my, like, therapy fee.

[Kale]

To who, though? I don't know. To the app.

[Becky]

Yeah. And I'm sick and tired of Facebook telling me to be friends with people that I unfriended. Like, unfriended them for a reason.

[Kale]

Block them, because then they can't.

[Becky]

I don't.

[Kale]

The problem for me is that they're coming up, up. Even though we've blocked each other, they're coming up through other outlets. Do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

They're creeping in.

[Kale]

They infiltrate my life. It's traumatizing.

[Becky]

How do we keep them out?

[Kale]

Well, because it's like, do I block every single situation that I see them on?

[Becky]

I don't block it.

[Kale]

And, like, that's fine, but, like, I can't seek them out. It has to be. Every time I get traumatized by a pop up, then I have to block it. So I'm traumatized every single time anyway.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So I say all that to say that was not on the list for today's conversation.

[Becky]

No. But did you the catalyst.

[Kale]

I didn't have a list today.

[Becky]

Just raw dogging it through life.

[Kale]

Yes.

[Becky]

And straight people just raw dogging birth certificates.

[Kale]

Well, evidently y'all were gonna raw dog it. And then you learned that you have to adopt your own child, which is insanity to me. Like that. Is it like that in every state or just New Jersey?

[Becky]

I think it's every state.

[Kale]

Wait, so since she worked. Works in a hospital in Pennsylvania, will you give birth in Pennsylvania or.

[Becky]

That's a great question.

[Kale]

Or New Jersey?

[Becky]

So our little conversation right now, we're not currently expected to give birth at Leah's hospital. We're going to give. We were going to give birth at A different hospital.

[Kale]

Because in New Jersey.

[Becky]

In New Jersey. Because her hospital doesn't have a nicu.

[Kale]

Fair.

[Becky]

And so out of comfortability, Leah wanted to give birth at a hospital that did have like that extra care just.

[Kale]

In case anything is also check the level of the nicu.

[Becky]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kale]

So because for anyone that we're at.

[Becky]

Is the best of the best.

[Kale]

Level four.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like that's the situation. But the more we get further into it, we aren't really liking where we're going. To our ob, there's like, just ask a question. Like if you're an OB listening to this, just like ask a personal question. No one's like been excited for us. No one's like, it's just hasn't felt.

[Kale]

Like just a number.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like we just are number going in and out of this. This place. And you say that to them.

[Kale]

Say that to the doctor.

[Becky]

I don't know. Say that we've just had a bad experience overall. So like it is what it is. I say that to say Leah's mind has been changing, that she might want to give birth at her hospital because she's a provider there. She's gonna like they take care of their own. She's gonna know people. Her mom is. Works there. It's close. It's like right closest to our house. House. Her decision is going to come after we do our anatomy scan next week. And when you do ivf, you have to do a eco echo card, something some long two hours thing that you don't have to if you don't do ivf. So if those tests come back fine and no concerns, I think we're gonna switch.

[Kale]

Just playing devil's advocate.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Baby could still go into the nicu.

[Becky]

Oh, a thousand percent.

[Kale]

Because Rio was full term and nothing was wrong. And I knock on wood. I'm not wishing that on you, but I just w. To prepare you for a thousand percent.

[Becky]

We just feel more comfortable knowing that isn't it?

[Kale]

And they will transport like if they need to. But Rio was nine pounds right on time. And he went to the nicu.

[Becky]

But even in this situation of transport, like Leah know like right 100. And Leah was also born in that hospital. So maybe it's like a full circle moment for us.

[Kale]

No, I think that's great that you guys are even sort of thinking about it.

[Becky]

It's a choice ultimately for sure.

[Kale]

No, I. And I love that you guys are thinking about it, but that really sucks that you guys are just a number. I have never that I can remember. I don't really ever remember experiencing that. And it's just. It's really sad.

[Becky]

Yeah. I mean, the. Our whole. I've spoke about this before when we were going through ivf, even going through ivf, we just felt like.

[Kale]

I remember you saying that about that, but not about, like, the actual care.

[Becky]

And like, it's just like, it's supposed to be such, like, a warm and fun, like, time. We're just like, go in.

[Kale]

Well, especially because it's. It's not. You guys, like, tried and wanted this baby, and it was a. It took a long time to get here. And so you would think that the doctors would be recognized. Yeah. And like, I don't know, like. Like, so often I might get a little bit of hate for saying this, but, like, so often, like, people are having babies they didn't plan or want.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And, you know, it's like you guys planned and wanted this baby, and so, like, you want to feel. At least fake it till you make it after experience.

[Becky]

Like how, like, I understand that can be triggering for some people, but, like, test the waters. See if you want a little bit of.

[Kale]

I'm at the point where I'll just say that to the doctor, like. Like, hey, maybe pull them aside and be like, hey, like, we've. We've been going through it. We haven't had, you know, the care that we thought. Or leave them a review. I'm sure they'll change their tune a little bit.

[Becky]

A lot of the doctor. A lot of doctors, their social bedside manners might lack.

[Kale]

I have not had that experience.

[Becky]

Well, you probably find your doctors on that are content creators, too.

[Kale]

What does that even mean?

[Becky]

So they have to be more personal. Personal. Not all just my experience. And that's what it, like, just felt like there was no social interaction. Maybe I'm just being.

[Kale]

No, I think that's valid. Like, bedside manner is so important. It's so important. And I, like, I. My OBGYN that I have seen in Delaware, I have recently switched because he stopped delivering babies, but he was still doing gyn. But because I got pregnant so often, I just needed to switch all together. But, like, there was a time where I didn't see him for, like, two years, but when I went back for my next appointment, he knew exactly who I was. Was like, oh, the last time I saw you, xyz, and it was like, the fact that you remember. And I know that they have notes in a chart. Like, I know that. But he just even made the effort. Do you know what I mean? Because he didn't have to do that.

[Becky]

That's beautiful.

[Kale]

Oh, my God. I loved him so much. He's also practiced in several countries, which is really cool because he had the experience of, like, should we just come in a simultaneous. Yeah, go to Dr. Amobi. Yeah. I love him so much.

[Becky]

You speak. You just said something, and that just reminded me of something I did yesterday. You were just speaking how he remembered you and, like, the comfort you felt. So my mom called me, and she asked. She was like, oh, I just got a letter from the funeral home. This was like, a week ago or two weeks ago. And the funeral home invited her to a Valentine's Day brunch. So they set up a brunch for anyone that had lost someone that year.

[Kale]

Oh.

[Becky]

And so my mom called and was like. Like, will you go to this with me? And obviously I said, yeah. So we went yesterday to it, and the guy that owns a funeral home, he's younger. He's probably my age, and his wife, they were like, they remember everyone. They remember everyone's lost one. Like, they were. They gave everyone roses at this brunch.

[Kale]

And that's, like, the sweetest thing.

[Becky]

My eyes are wet.

[Kale]

No. Because so often I feel. And I don't. Again, I've only had very few experiences. Is, like, funeral homes are a business.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And so I'm not saying that all funeral homes are like that. So anyone listening? If you own one or you know someone that does. I'm not saying that this is not, like, a shot at all funeral home businesses, but, like, it ultimately is a business. And just like, being a doctor, like, that bedside manner. I know it's not the same for, like, a funeral home because they're dead, but, like, yeah, you need the, like, that comfort, for sure.

[Becky]

You have to have and, like, empathy. You have to have, like, I guess you don't have to. Right. Like, just because you own it doesn't mean you have to get that. But it was just such. It was so beautiful. Like, how nice of them to do that. It was funny. I was walking in and the girl was like, are you Becky? She's like, I listen to karma and chaos.

[Kale]

No. Oh, that's so sweet.

[Becky]

It was cute. But yeah. So shout out to New Baker Funeral Home kids.

[Kale]

That's cute. It's a New Jersey.

[Becky]

Yep. It's. We didn't, like, do any services there. No. No. At all either. We just burned my dad through them, you know.

[Kale]

Just burn. So not to take a morbid turn or anything, but we had a guest on the podcast On Thursday, and she was talking to me about an episode of a show on Max, and it's called the Curious Case of. And it's different stories. Each episode is a different story. This one story in particular was about a businessman who was. Owned a crematory. Is it a crematory?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And he was taking the people's money and then not giving them the bodies.

[Becky]

Correct ones or. At all.

[Kale]

And so people were getting ashes that had hardware, for example, from, you know, a knee injury or, like, a shoulder injury, and it had, like, pins from the surgery. And they were like. Like, this person never had that. And so they weren't getting the correct ashes. And so I say all that to say that I'm gonna request that I get burned by myself. You know what I mean, and not get mixed up with someone else's ashes.

[Becky]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Kale]

You don't care?

[Becky]

I don't care.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Because, like, if Larry's not in a box at my mom's house and he's flown around somewhere else, you'd rather not know. Yeah. I mean, it's just like. It's the same thing with a medium. If it helps me to think that he's in that box at my mom's house, then cool. If it's actually not him, it's not really doing me any harm.

[Kale]

Sure. Well, you don't know. Won't hurt you kind of thing. But it's, I think more so that.

[Becky]

When, you know, the ill intention of it is pretty up.

[Kale]

If that. If those ashes had not had the hardware.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

They wouldn't have thought twice about it. It's the fact that, you know. And now it's malicious intent because. Now it's malicious intent because you intentionally gave me.

[Becky]

For sure.

[Kale]

He was also just letting the bodies decompose and not actually cremating them at all. Plaster dust. Oh, right, right, right. Some of the ashes were.

[Becky]

It was ill intent, like his. It's malicious intent.

[Kale]

I don't know that it was even malicious intent. I think it was more like negligence. Like, you're taking their money and then you're not. Or. Yeah, yeah. It's mental illness. It's giving. It's giving. Psychotic. Because if you give someone cement and they put it in water, first of all, why are you putting your loved one's ashes in water? Unless it looks. I wouldn't know what loved one. Like, if someone had.

[Becky]

I want to be sprinkled in ramen. We've talked about that.

[Kale]

Ramen.

[Becky]

We've literally talked about this.

[Kale]

Did we Talk about that. That you have never told me that you want to be sprinkled.

[Becky]

I want ramen eaten by my friends and family.

[Kale]

Do you remember what we literally said?

[Becky]

I will eat you? That came out.

[Kale]

Do you remember when we went to Easton, Pennsylvania, for Bacon Fest and we went to ramen to get ramen at the ramen bar?

[Becky]

I do.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

We've had a lot of good times together.

[Kale]

I. We missed Bacon Fest this year, like, last year. We have to go in 2025. Please.

[Becky]

We literally just became friends.

[Kale]

Oh, well, no, but Bacon Fest is in the, like, fall.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So we were friends in the fall, and we missed Bacon Fest.

[Becky]

The first time we saw each other was in October fair.

[Kale]

So 2025, we'll go to Bacon Fest. Yeah. But our babies. Oh, yeah. And Valley could eat girls. We did book Salem. Becky. Becky, myself, Alessandra. I do think Kayla should come if you guys want to come. We're gonna go to Salem, Massachusetts, which I'm very, very, very excited about.

[Becky]

Leah's. Natasha. Leah's best friend's gonna come, too.

[Kale]

Cool. I love that. I'm gonna bring Elijah and Isaac and Lincoln. Maybe Lux. I'm not sure. I do think Creed is a little young, so if. My. If Lux might hate it. Okay, so just so if anyone is listening, if Lux and Creed are not included, it is not because I don't love them. It is simply because they are too young and it might not be a good fit. So when that can do other parties, I just want to make it known here 10 months in advance that it is. It was probably not a fit for them.

[Becky]

Yeah. Because it's not like, parks and rides. It's like.

[Kale]

No, it's like, a lot of walking.

[Becky]

And lots of people and spooky stuff.

[Kale]

Yeah. I mean, Lux would really love that. I just don't know that the walking and the crowds, it might not be for. And I would love to take them again. Yeah. Or take them at another time. But I just wanted to say that now so when it circles back. When it circles around to that time, I'm not getting cussed out on the Internet. And different narratives are floating around on Instagram, so. So thank you.

[Becky]

You're welcome.

[Kale]

Thank you. So I'm actually really excited about that trip. I am, too, because I have been wanting to go for the last two years. And then the one year that I tried to go, I didn't realize how far in advance you had to book it. And then the next year, I think I just, like, didn't put the effort In. In time again.

[Becky]

Leah and I go every year, so I'm really excited. Didn't go this year.

[Kale]

Yeah. I've been obsessed with the Salem witch trials since that's where Giles is named after. Who's Giles?

[Becky]

My cat.

[Kale]

Oh, is that the one I.

[Becky]

No, that's Fetty.

[Kale]

Oh, not Fetty.

[Becky]

Giles. But he got pressed to death by Stones. Giles Corey.

[Kale]

I thought you meant your cat. More. Wait, what is going on? No, this is the thing about recording in person, you guys. When we have a live studio audience. And by a live studio audience, I mean two people. The way that it makes me feel when they laugh.

[Becky]

It's a shot of adrenaline.

[Kale]

For live studio audience recordings.

[Becky]

We should. We should do many. We should do mini ones.

[Kale]

That would be incredible. Like, it just gives me the boost of confidence to keep going. It just really just gases us up. It doesn't matter if it's that he's laughing at me or at you or with us or at. It doesn't matter.

[Becky]

Your love language is being told you're funny.

[Kale]

Do you know, over the last two days of recording with guests, when they look at me and say, that was a good question, I pee a little, like, because I'm like, thank you so much.

[Becky]

You know, Like, I actually can relate to that now that I'm prepping to relaunch for the haters, because I send over, like, prep work to them, and they're like, wow, this is great. These are really good questions. And I'm like, thanks.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, it's just such, like, a. Yeah. Boost, you know?

[Becky]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

Maybe we should start sending messages to all the people who do a good job. And instead of, like, reprimand, I'm speaking to myself. Like, stop yelling at people. And, like, telling them.

[Becky]

I was like, who are you thinking about? Thinking about people to tell you you.

[Kale]

Do a good job. No, I'm thinking of myself. Of, like, sometimes my. My people don't hear from me until they're in trouble. And so I need to not do that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Just be like, hey, you did a really good job today.

[Becky]

You should always live life like that.

[Kale]

Yeah, you're right.

[Becky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kale]

Told you that.

[Becky]

So thank you so much for following the bouncing ball today. If you're still here and listening. We love you guys. This is so much fun.

[Kale]

Yeah. And I love in person.

[Becky]

Thanks for the feedback. Thanks for the. The, you know, interaction with us on our Facebook group. I love it there.

[Kale]

I know you do. And you do a great job on there. I wish I was on there more. I hurt my own feelings. And I see things that I don't need to respond to. Not necessarily in that group specifically, but.

[Becky]

You need to respond to positive things more than negative. Yes.

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Becky]

It's easy to get soaked up in the night.

[Kale]

It is.

[Becky]

But I'm just happy to be here. This has been so much fun.

[Kale]

I'm glad you came. Thanks for making it work. Oh, glad you came.

[Becky]

Where can they find you, Kale?

[Kale]

I'll be in the swamp. Meet Fiona and Shrek doing the nasty hater 25.

[Becky]

Look at all my baby hall clothes. Baby haul. And don't tell me to stop buying.

[Kale]

Baby clothes because, well, I'm gonna tell you to film a video of the stroller and the combo you got.

[Becky]

Yeah, I'll do that.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

And then everyone will be like, why'd you get the upper baby? You should have gotten this.

[Kale]

No, the upper baby is the best one. I don't want to hear it because it can grow with you. And where can people find you?

[Becky]

Becky hater.com. check out for the haters.

[Kale]

Yes, go check out.

[Becky]

Releasing new episodes in April.

[Kale]

Oh, that's so exciting. Thank you. See ya.

[Becky]

Love ya.

[Kale]

Foreign. Hey, moms. Have you ever felt like there's more to motherhood than what we're told? Then you need to check out our podcast, Moms Ask why. Hosted by Chelsea, Jules, and Brittany Whitney, Moms Ask why dives deep into the tough questions surrounding motherhood. Our mission? To educate, inspire, and empower moms like you to take charge of your children's health. With real talk, expert insight, and actionable advice. This is the podcast every mom needs in her playlist. Because sometimes the best way to be a great mom is to ask why. Follow rate Interview Moms Ask why Now On Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts, psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable.

[Becky]

I had joint pain and I couldn't.

[Kale]

Move like I used to. I needed relief. I got Cosentyx. It helped me move better. Cosent Cosenx Secukinumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur, like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal, or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or cough, had a vaccine or plan to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop develop or worsen serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Ask your rheumatologist about Cosentyx At Pluto TV, we're celebrating Black History Month with our curated collection of Black haunted all streaming for free. Find groundbreaking films including Selva, Django, Unchained, Ali and Coach Carter. We have an incredible gift up here gripping series like Power and the Game, Next Level comedies, music video channels and more. Brilliant black entertainment intentionally curated and all free this month and always on Pluto tv. Stream now. Pay never Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable I had joint pain and I couldn't move like I used to. I needed relief. I got Cosentyx. It helped me move better. Cosentyx Secukenumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough had a vaccine or plan to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Ask your rheumatologist about Cosentyx.