Kail VS The Roo

Summary

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter Episode: Kail VS The Roo Release Date: February 11, 2025

In this episode of Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter, hosts Kail and Becky delve into a whirlwind of personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, friendship reflections, and business updates, all while maintaining their signature blend of humor and heartfelt conversation. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.

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1. Becky’s Chaotic Day and Husband’s Re-Proposal

Timestamp: [00:10 – 04:38]

Becky opens the episode by recounting what she describes as "probably one of the most chaotic days in a really long time" (00:10). Her day was fraught with miscommunications and unexpected events, beginning with navigating a potential stomach bug at her child's school. The situation escalates when Becky accidentally leaves her son, Isaac, behind due to conflicting pickup responsibilities with her husband Elijah.

Despite the initial chaos, the day takes a surprising turn when Elijah orchestrates a re-proposal in a heartfelt and elaborate manner involving their children. Becky shares her emotional reaction:

"I cried because I was like, what is going on?" (03:54).

The proposal, albeit chaotic, brings immense joy and exemplifies the unpredictable mix of karma and chaos in their lives. Becky reflects on the seamless integration of their friends in capturing the moment, emphasizing the love and consideration for their children:

"He understood that the kids would want to be included." (07:27).

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2. Friendship Dynamics and the Importance of Therapy

Timestamp: [04:28 – 17:13]

The conversation shifts to the evolving nature of friendships as life changes, particularly in their 30s. Kail discusses rekindling her friendship with Dan, highlighting his inclusive and thoughtful nature:

"Dan makes you feel like he wants you there." (13:02).

Becky echoes the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst growing family responsibilities and professional obligations. They emphasize the emotional toll that changing friendships can take, regardless of whether there's been a falling out or simply life circumstances pulling people apart:

"Friendships just hurt sometimes." (16:55).

Both hosts advocate for the benefits of therapy in navigating these complexities. Becky shares an advertisement for BetterHelp, underscoring the podcast’s promotion of mental health resources:

"We love therapy here. We unfortunately, my therapist is out on maternity leave right now." (15:18).

This segment underscores the importance of seeking professional help to identify and cultivate positive relationships, as well as managing the emotional baggage that comes with them.

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3. Personal Updates: Memorial Tattoo and Celebrating Friendships

Timestamp: [10:39 – 30:32]

Kail introduces a personal update about getting a tattoo in memory of her late friend, Mike. She describes the tattoo as a phoenix, symbolizing resurrection and remembrance:

"It's kind of like a memorial piece for my friend that passed away." (10:39).

She shares the positive reactions from Mike’s family, reinforcing the meaningful connection the tattoo represents. Becky adds her support and admiration for Kail’s choice:

"And did Dan end up getting a tattoo?" (11:15).

The discussion then transitions to evaluating what defines friendship and how friendships can grow over time. Kail expresses optimism about her renewed friendship with Dan, appreciating his consistent efforts to include her in his life:

"Spending time with him recently has just brought up millions of emotions." (13:58).

Becky concurs, highlighting the value of quality time and the reassurance that comes from being thought of and included by close friends:

"Any time I get to spend quality time with my friends, it fuels just like love and care in my heart." (17:13).

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4. Hairstyles and Misgendering: Navigating Identity and Appearance

Timestamp: [30:32 – 47:58]

A significant portion of the episode delves into the sensitive topic of hairstyles and the impact of misgendering. Kail opens up about her trauma related to being misgendered during her childhood, which influences her current approach to her hair:

"I have a lot of trauma and PTSD from when I was a kid of being misgendered." (43:25).

Becky engages by sharing her own experiences and questions about how appearance affects perception. The hosts discuss societal expectations surrounding hair and gender identity, with Kail expressing discomfort over the idea of altering her hairstyle to avoid misgendering:

"The idea of cutting my hair would put me in the situation of being misgendered all the time." (43:36).

They explore the emotional ramifications of misgendering and the importance of feeling comfortable and authentic in one's appearance. Becky offers supportive and practical suggestions, encouraging Kail to consider various styles that make her feel empowered:

"Maybe you'll wear wigs. You could try different styles that align with your identity." (48:22).

The conversation highlights the intersection of personal identity, societal expectations, and the profound impact of being correctly recognized and respected.

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5. Business Updates and Future Plans

Timestamp: [47:58 – 57:31]

Becky shares exciting news about her upcoming sports facility, detailing the rapid progress from idea to execution. She mentions the commencement of construction the following month, trademark applications, and initial interest from coaches:

"I got a building ish. The build starts next month, and I have the trademark in the works." (54:05).

Kail expresses enthusiasm and support, visualizing the potential of the new venture:

"I just picture, like, Lincoln having his own little clinic to help little kids." (55:22).

Becky elaborates on her motivations, emphasizing the desire to create opportunities for her children and others who may not follow traditional educational paths:

"I want my kids to say happy... what success is to me is maybe not successful in their eyes. Maybe just the happiness alone is success." (57:04).

The discussion underscores the importance of following one’s passion and creating supportive environments for the next generation, blending personal goals with familial aspirations.

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6. Listener Submission: A Tale of Karma and Chaos

Timestamp: [58:29 – 61:58]

Towards the end of the episode, Becky reads a listener submission recounting a tumultuous marital situation involving infidelity and manipulation:

"I was 10 days postpartum and found my husband calling a girl we will call Shelby all hours of the day..." (58:29).

The story details how Shelby befriended the husband under false pretenses, ultimately leading to betrayal and the emotional fallout Becky experienced. Kail and Becky analyze the narrative through the lens of karma and chaos, debating the intentions behind Shelby’s actions and the repercussions for all parties involved:

"That girl's karma and chaos has nothing to do with the person who submitted this." (60:04).

They discuss the ethical complexities of relationships and the unpredictable consequences of individuals' actions, reinforcing the podcast’s theme of navigating life's unpredictable challenges with resilience and understanding.

---

Conclusion

The episode "Kail VS The Roo" of Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter offers a rich tapestry of personal stories, emotional reflections, and thoughtful discussions on friendships, identity, and life's unpredictability. Through shared experiences and candid conversations, Kail and Becky provide listeners with relatable insights and a deeper understanding of balancing personal life with broader relational dynamics. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps enhances the relatability and authenticity of their storytelling, making the episode both engaging and meaningful for audiences new and old.

Transcript

[Kale]

Hey, girl.

[Becky]

We match again.

[Kale]

Hi, friend.

[Becky]

Hey, did you see?

[Kale]

Welcome back, everyone.

[Becky]

Welcome back. I'll get to see you in person next week.

[Kale]

I know. I'm so excited.

[Becky]

Welcome back to Karma and Chaos. Okay, so you're doing the live on chapter seven book club, and people are excited about it. People were asking, how can they join for just that live, but not anything else? And I was like, are you kidding me? Like, I. I know that I need to get on the Onyx Storm train, but I just. Like. Or not Onyx Storm train. Like, the entire, like, fourth wing. But I just have not had the time. And I. I just haven't had the time. Like, I can't. I have to figure out a time to do it.

[Kale]

Yeah. Spencer's a lot smarter than I am. Just whole as a person, and so he has a lot better ideas and talking points. I sent him a couple tiktoks today, and he was like, yeah, I have those written down already. I was like, he's like, fully prepared.

[Becky]

Well, also, you could go online and get, like, questions for book club.

[Kale]

Yeah, I mean, questions for this book. Right. Itself. There's just a lot of unknowns. There's a lot of theories. There's a lot of, like, ooh, wonder who his brother is.

[Becky]

Okay, Love that for you. I have to tell you about my day yesterday. It was probably one of the most chaotic days in a really long time. And I say that every time. But this time, I mean it.

[Kale]

You literally say that every time.

[Becky]

But this time it was so chaotic. It was so fudgeing chaotic. So first, let me start by saying that I was stopped today at school, and I was given a heads up that there is a stomach bug going around. And I was like, okay, like, what are we thinking? Like, diarrhea? Because, like, I can handle shitting all day. Like, it's fine. I'll just wipe some butts, right? She's like, no, it's vomiting. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I just got a new car. I'm just thinking about all the nightmares that come with children throwing up. So I was just. Just the thoughts, you know what I mean? So yesterday we go to boxing. The boys started boxing on Monday and Wednesday, and I thought that was great. Fantastic. Well, Isaac is in drama club and has rehearsals until 5. Lost track of time. Thought Elijah was getting Isaac. Elijah thought that I was getting Isaac. It is now 5:24, and we were leaving the gym, and I said, let me call to make sure everything is handled. And Elijah was like, I thought you were Getting him. And I was like, I thought you were getting him. And then I call Isaac and I'm like, hey. And he's like, yeah, I'm still at the school. Mom fail, and I will never talk on his dad ever again. So that's number one. Number two, get home, pull up into the driveway, and I see our friend's car is there. And I was like, oh, they're still here. Like, maybe they're having dinner with us. I walk in the house, nobody's eating dinner. Nobody. Like, that's not happening. Okay? Elijah calls Lux and Creed into the room, and I'm thinking, oh, no, they probably made a mess in our bathroom or something, because my kids love to shower in my bathroom. They don't come back out. And Elijah says, kale, you need to come here now. Mind you, we have a company. So I'm like, oh, my God. Like, what is about to occur? I go into the room, and this man has a whole proposal set up with all the children and signs and a basket and a card and a fucking ring. And I'm like, what is going on on this random fucking Wednesday? Like, what is going on? I'm confused. Everyone is acting like they already knew what was going on. I guess the kids. Alessandra knew. I texted the group chat. I said, what is going on in this random Wednesday? What is happening? He re proposed in a real way, including the kids, but because I was fine with, like, handing me the ring in the bathroom like, that. I'm not a romantic person, but Lincoln caught wind of that and was devastated that he wasn't included. And so Elijah put this whole thing together on how to re propose to me with the kids and did it on a random Wednesday. I cried because I was like, what is going on? The video is the most chaotic thing. So our friends that stayed that I thought were having dinner with us literally stayed just to help with the babies and, like, video this whole thing. And I am. And then literally, once it was done, we just went right back to regular scheduled chaos.

[Kale]

Kill.

[Becky]

Perfectly chaotic.

[Kale]

Why are you dismissing this for just being chaos?

[Becky]

No, it was so cute. And I loved that it was a random Wednesday. Like, truly icing on the. Like, I loved it so much.

[Kale]

I feel so overwhelmed with emotions. I'm so different things right now because, like, you started out the story, something about growing up. You went not picking up Isaac when.

[Becky]

No, I picked him up. I picked him up. I was a couple minutes story should.

[Kale]

Have just been about, oh, my God, Becky. Like, Elijah proposed again last night. Like, I Just went on so many different. I'm like, where is this going? And then you just said it. Like, it. Like it was just another notch in the bell. I was. And then, wait.

[Becky]

I was. That's how I felt last night. That is literally how I felt last night. I was like, what is going on? I was so cute.

[Kale]

So much.

[Becky]

It was just so chaotic. It was truly like. But, like, our lives are chaotic. And so I was like, what is going on? So then I'm, like, replaying things in my head because the other day, Lincoln said something to me. Is. He said something along the lines of, like, elijah told me a juicy secret. And I said, what are you talking about? We don't do that around here. You know what I mean? Like, we don't. We don't keep secrets. And then I didn't really poke because I was like, maybe it's like a bromance thing. Like, maybe they have some sort of, like, inside. I don't know. And then Isaac was like, you know, I was late to pick up Isaac, so I was like, oh, my God, he's probably mad at me. And now he's thrown into this chaos. But, like, they knew the whole time, and so it was all fine. But I was like, this is the most chaotic. And on Brand Proposal, so he didn't.

[Kale]

Purposely pick up Isaac so that you didn't come home and you had to go pick him up?

[Becky]

I don't know. I. That might be it. I don't know. I truly have no clue. And then we all ate dinner and called it a night, and it was the most. And then Rio ate all my candy out of the. Out of that basket. And, you know, it was. It was fantastic. I just haven't had a chance to process it because I feel like in some ways, it was a regular night because that is our life. Our lives. But on the other hand, I'm like, wow, this because. Because kind. Recently, Alessandra and Kristen were over sort of recently. I don't remember exactly when it was, but I walked in on them, and they looked like they were talking about me. So I'm thinking to myself, and I looked at Kristen because the look on her face was like, look at Alessandra. It was like she was like a deer in headlights. Like, I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to walk in on. But I literally looked at her, and I was like, were you talking about me? Like, that's the sort of vibes that I felt. And it wasn't. And she said that she was trying to Help plan this. And I didn't know the whole rest of the. What were you talking about? Were you talking about me? What were you talking about? Were you talking about. I'm like. Because it was so uncomfortable. I was like, what is going on? You were uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable.

[Kale]

I need like five to seven business days to process just the whole thing. Just that.

[Becky]

Okay, perfect. How was your week? It's hump day. Wait, how was your week?

[Kale]

Can you. I want to see the full video first of all.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

Yeah, I just want to see this. That's so cute that all the kids were there.

[Becky]

I know. I was really.

[Kale]

I was such a good heart. Like, you have such good kids.

[Becky]

Well, I say. I say all that to say I had a chaotic night.

[Kale]

No, you got proposed to again.

[Becky]

Yeah, it was.

[Kale]

I mean, that's pretty. A pretty big deal.

[Becky]

It is. But, like, it means a lot to me that he understood that the kids would want to be included. I don't think that he realized when he handed me the ring the first time. I don't think that he realized that the kids would want to be included in that.

[Kale]

Yeah, this is all just really great.

[Becky]

So then Isaac texted this morning at like, 6am and was like, could I have some of those rose petals for a junk journal? We're like, yes, of course.

[Kale]

You think he's gonna do a junk journal about, like, that night?

[Becky]

That's what he said.

[Kale]

Kel, that's so cute.

[Becky]

It is cute. It is really cute.

[Kale]

Like, your kids love you that much. They want to see you happy, too.

[Becky]

Well, I'm. I mean, I'm excited. I am excited, but I'll show you the video. Well, if I don't. If I can't send it to you, I'll send. I'll show you when I see you next time. How's Leah feeling?

[Kale]

Leah's good. I am. I think I have the flu, so.

[Becky]

Yeah, you do, too. I was gonna say neurovirus. I keep saying neurovirus. Wrong. Norovirus.

[Kale]

So if I sound a little. It's because. But I'm just powering through. Week's been good. I do have some things that I want to speak through with you. Not. No, it's just things that have come up. I start making lists, like.

[Becky]

Yeah, I know.

[Kale]

I love that. I need to talk about xyz. But first, Leah's great. We did a bunch of clothes hauls, like, for the. Why are you smiling like that?

[Becky]

Because I. Because they're cute. I've seen them.

[Kale]

Yeah, they're so cute. And it was funny because I got my period this morning. I woke up to, like, really bad period cramps. And Leah. And I said that to Leah, and she goes, you know, thank God, because you've been really mean lately. Not mean. She said, if you've been really looking, like, you don't like me. I did. I get really, like, irritable the week before my period. Where.

[Becky]

Happy Mammoth.

[Kale]

Yeah. Anything around me is just like, why? Like, I don't want any. Like, you know, so once it.

[Becky]

You get your period, does that sort of subs.

[Kale]

It goes away.

[Becky]

Okay. Yeah. I. I never understood when people are like, oh, I have my period. That's why I'm X, Y, and Z. And it's like, no, it's leading up to your period. That's what's you up.

[Kale]

Because it's funny because, like, you. Well, now, you know, I'm an emotional person. I cry all the time. But the week before my period, my emotions are stripped from me. So, like, I just don't care about anything. Like, I would ruin my life in that week before. But then when I get my period, my emotions come back, so I become more of an emotional person.

[Becky]

What a wild ride. And it all happened so fast. You're like, wait, didn't I just have my period? And you're like, yeah, three weeks ago. And it's so frustrating.

[Kale]

Anyhow, I got a tattoo. Yeah.

[Becky]

And I'm obsessed with it. It's so good. No, it's so good.

[Kale]

I. You would be so proud of me. I put together. It's kind of like, come get a tattoo with me video.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

But it's not. Because that's not the purpose of the tattoo. The purpose was it's like a memorial piece for my friend that passed away. And so I did, like, come get a tattoo with me. But let me introduce you to Mike first, because that's like. Yeah. So it was really cute. It was, like, cool putting that together. I sent it to his mom and sister this morning, and they both really.

[Becky]

Liked it, so I thought it was red Rising.

[Kale]

No. It's funny because a lot of people are associating it with books or any book that I'm reading. No, My best friend that passed away, he had a phoenix tattoo. And so it's a phoenix, like, in memory of him.

[Becky]

I love that. And did your. Did Dan. Why wasn't I say, Eric?

[Kale]

That's the other one. It was okay. Yeah.

[Becky]

Did Dan end up getting a tattoo?

[Kale]

Not. He's getting. He's getting it.

[Becky]

Okay. Is he getting the exact Same one or a different one?

[Kale]

He's getting the same bird. He's not gonna. He's. He's. I think he wants different stuff.

[Becky]

Phoenix is a really cool name too. Like, just for, like. I just love the name Phoenix.

[Kale]

So I just kind of like Phoenix too.

[Becky]

You could call them like Nyx too, like, as a nickname.

[Kale]

That's cute. I did want to bring up something about. I don't know. I don't think Dan listens to this.

[Becky]

But shout out to Dan if he does.

[Kale]

I've been spending a lot more time with him. And something that I've realized was that I was speaking to Leah about this and I was like, I've realized why I missed and why it was so hard for our. Like, it took me six years to get over, not to even get over, to like, mourn the loss of our friendship. And then we have rekindled. And not at the same way that we were, but, like, we have been hanging out more. But I realized that Dan makes you feel like he wants you there. So if he's doing anything, he'll call you and invite you. And he. And it's not just singular people. Like, that's just how, like, the kind of friend he is. And so it's always reassuring. Right. If he's doing something, he's calling the people in his phone book. Hey, like, I'm thinking about you. Come and do this. And it just makes you, like, feel good to be thought of and invited in those situations.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And then secondly, Dan's love language is just being around each other.

[Becky]

So, like, quality time.

[Kale]

I don't want to say quality time. I guess it. It would end up being quality time. But, like, he called me and was like, hey, I have to go cut wood. Do you want to come hang out? And like, I. That's like, makes my heart explode.

[Becky]

It's like, I have to go run errands. Can you come running with me? Yeah, like, that. I would. I would categorize that as quality.

[Kale]

Yeah. And it's just like, there doesn't have to be the need of doing something. He just enjoys people around him while he's doing something too. And, like, it just reminded me of why I loved and cared about him so much during our friendship. Because it, like, I was just always so fueled by. By our friendship because I always felt so loved in our friendship. And so just spending time with him recently has just brought up millions of emotions.

[Becky]

Do you see? You got like. Do you feel like you've rekindled the friendship and it's gonna grow. Like, you're gonna strengthen it over time or you're not really sure where it stands right now.

[Kale]

I don't know what? Like, I think that it can grow, which I didn't think that it could. I don't know, because it's weird because we' I think friendships are different for everyone. Now in your 30s, like, you're not spending as much time with your friends. Like, me and Dan spent days, like, weeks together. Right. Don't do that with anyone now. So I think that our friendship will look different. But I'm excited to see kind of what that. What that does look like. I just value that. Right. Like, I value that connection with people. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. We often hear about the red flags we should avoid. But what if we focused more on looking for green flags in friends and partners? If you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags. Actively practice them in your relationships, and embody the green flag energy yourself. We talked about friendships in this episode, and we also just talked about the pain and emotional baggage that it could bring. We love therapy here. We unfortunately, my therapist is out on maternity leave right now.

[Becky]

Babies everywhere.

[Kale]

We can't stress enough the importance that therapy can bring to you. You know, something doesn't have to be wrong. It can be everything's going right and just taking some measures just in case something comes up.

[Becky]

And BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you guys can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of. So if you're looking for something in particular, this is a great option. You guys can switch therapists at any time for no additional cost. I don't know if anyone has shared this experience where you meet with a therapist and sometimes they're not a right fit and you have to try again. I know it can be exhausting, but it not having an extra cost actually helps a lot. Discover your relationship green flags with better help. Visit betterhelp.com Karma to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Karma I think it's really hard. I mean, even if you don't have a falling out with someone, but the friendship changes because the circumstances change. And I know that we've touched on this before, but, like, I don't hang out with friends today the same way I did. Regardless of who I've fallen out with, who I haven't fallen out with. It's just like my family is my number one priority and I need to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be. And then I have to work and then I have all these obligations. And it doesn't make it less painful. So whether you fell out with them and you're trying to, like, rekindle a relationship or your friendship just literally changes because everybody's starting a family or whatever that looks like is still painful.

[Kale]

Yeah, it is.

[Becky]

Like, I think about that now and I know, like, it's a choice for me to not go hang out very often, but it's still painful because I like my life now. But I also loved that friendship and I miss that person. But I do not. I do not have the capacity or the availability or the just ability in general to hang out with them in the same way.

[Kale]

Yeah, I want to build a compound so that I can combat that.

[Becky]

I just make sure it's not farmland and don't. Don't close on the property until you know whether you can build more than one house on it from.

[Kale]

So I knew all that. But. But I think that your points were great, though. It doesn't matter if you had a falling out with someone that it's still. Like, friendships just hurt sometimes. Right. Like, I miss my. I miss my friends and then I get to spend a singular quality time with them and I'm just, you know, it just brings me back to life. Right. Like, any time I get to spend quality time with my friends, it gives it like, fuels just like love and care in my heart. And like, I just love that.

[Becky]

No, I love that. I actually. I felt really good. I mean, after we had the religious conversation with Sterling in Dallas. I felt that way. And I miss her. I. I miss like 2016, when she was always in Delaware. I was always with her. Like, I miss that so much. But it's like the painful side of growing up.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Going on. I've got. Going on. And you just. It will never be what it was. And that hurts that things get busy.

[Kale]

Yeah, that's why. That's why I was pissed you didn't come out to say hello to me when I got there.

[Becky]

Oh, I'm sorry. But I'll see you next week. And I will come out to see. Are you coming in the night before?

[Kale]

No, I have a date.

[Becky]

Oh, that's right. That's right. So you're coming in the morning of.

[Kale]

Yeah, I was thinking about bringing Leah. We're actually. We might change our date to go to a Baby store to go test out things.

[Becky]

I'm telling you, the uppababy Vista is everything.

[Kale]

It's funny. Everyone was like, dude, doesn't Kayl have enough kids? Like, why are you asking us to You.

[Becky]

You know what, I almost brought that up to you because I felt a little offended that you didn't ask me first.

[Kale]

You already gave us your suggested suggestion.

[Becky]

So then why do you need more secondarily?

[Kale]

That's really great social media engagement. I was going to tell you, like, don't get pissed if I ask things online that you know the answer to because it's really great engagement for me. And I also like hearing other people's advice. I'm probably going to get the upper baby. You get that? That's on what's on my registry.

[Becky]

Like, I converted it from a stroller. I had that thing since Creed was born. And then now it's a three baby stroller. So I have the twins in it. And then I also have Rio standing on it.

[Kale]

Yeah, I.

[Becky]

It's the best. It's pricey, but it's worth it. It's also super lightweight for Leah.

[Kale]

Speaking of, someone texted me yesterday and said, dude, you guys need a Duna. Best thing I ever bought.

[Becky]

And I said, okay, but a Duna is only good for six months.

[Kale]

Not the point of the. I put the side eyes. I said, who is this? They go, wow, I'm bothered. I said, I deleted all my numbers six months, six years ago. So we haven't talked since then. And then she goes, it's Caitlin. I didn't save it after I saw them in Tennessee.

[Becky]

Oh my God, you could. I always text people I know and I'm like, hey, do you have this number in your phone? Because I. If I can't, I also will copy and paste it into Cash app and Venmo to see because I also have a bad habit.

[Kale]

Look what I said. I said, oh, my God. Wow.

[Becky]

And then not a fucking sticker of me to Caitlin. She was probably like, what is going on?

[Kale]

So, yeah, so Friday I think we're going to go to the baby store and just like kind of look at stuff. Creating a list is overwhelming.

[Becky]

It is overwhelming. It's very overwhelming because you're like, am I going to use this? Do I want someone to actually spend the money on this? Can I get this somewhere else cheaper? There's just a lot. And I had given you the advice to get a wagon around one year, but by the time you need the wagon, I have three wagons. I won't need One of mine. And in fact, I've only ever used one of them. So I feel like, don't spend your money on that and I'll give you one of mine because I won't need. You know what I mean?

[Kale]

Yeah. I do need to get all the other stuff, too, before we really work on our registry. I need to come there.

[Becky]

Yeah. Because Elijah asked again and I was like, can you calm down? See Pat?

[Kale]

I miss him.

[Becky]

She packed Taylor's trunk the other day for her baby, but it's a baby girl, so I had separate stuff because he was ready to just give it all. And I was like, no.

[Kale]

Also, I wanted to talk about our maternity leave. That's been a difficult question conversation in this household that I'm sure people listening. If you have kids have had to figure out what to do. Right.

[Becky]

Well. So because you're a mom and you're having a baby, but you're not the one giving birth, what is your maternity leave look like? If. Three weeks. Three weeks?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And then what does Leah's look like?

[Kale]

Leah gets four and a half weeks.

[Becky]

What?

[Kale]

Yeah, she gets four and a half weeks paid. So we're trying to figure out.

[Becky]

So she works in healthcare.

[Kale]

Yes. It is very overwhelming. Leah cries a lot about it because it's just frustrating. Like, they get such bad benefits and it's not like she gets to go back to work where it's nothing. You know, it's not life altering. She goes into her job every day is saving people's lives. Her decisions alter someone's healthcare and her, like, it could be a life or death situation. So the thought of her going back to work four weeks after giving birth is just. It's.

[Becky]

I have literal chills. And I know you cannot see it on the Internet.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I'm so infuriated and also heartbroken for her because that leaves you with the decision of, do you take a longer. Like, are you able to take the four and a half weeks paid and then take a longer unpaid situation?

[Kale]

And then you get up to three months. You get up to three months where your job is secure.

[Becky]

Okay, that was my next question.

[Kale]

Was your job take off two more months unpaid?

[Becky]

So are you thinking about doing that?

[Kale]

Yeah, we're thinking. We're trying to figure out what we can afford to do. And then. Because even after that, it's just figuring out daycare and figuring out what we want to do for, like, after. It's hard. It's diff. It's not a fun conversation.

[Becky]

I looked into an au pair service for child care. But the child had to be four months old for an au pair to be provide like in order to.

[Kale]

We've actually looked into that. We have two, we looked into two different programs. I don't think we'll need that until we have two kids. Because Leah is the only thing that is a saving grace is that Leah is the lead. So she creates her schedule so she'll be able to, I think when, when she is back is create her schedule where she could do like 2 to 12 shifts and weekend shifts so that I only need care a couple hours during the week, which my mom can help with.

[Becky]

Okay. Okay. So your mom is able and willing right now.

[Kale]

Yeah, but we're just, I mean it's, it's hard because I mean, you know, but do people even want to go? Like, is she going to even be able to go back to work at four weeks? Like, is her mental health going to be okay to do that? Is she going to want, is she going to be able to leave the baby? Right. A lot of the time mothers struggle with that change. And how do you do that so quickly?

[Becky]

No, four weeks is the most. I mean that's not even, you're not even allowed to be having sex before six weeks. When I had my home birthday, the midwife was like, honestly, do not get out of bed for six weeks. Like the, she's, she was mainly taking care of like the Amish and they have like a whole village that comes over and takes over everything and they don't do anything for six weeks. And I'm just like, that is so unrealistic in today's society. And it just sucks because the pressure that's put on women and mothers, it's like crazy. Procreate, procreate. But then when we procreate, there are no resources or anything available for us. And then Leah is in health care of all fucking things and she's getting four weeks. Like the baby is not even six weeks old. Like it wouldn't even qualify for daycare. The baby literally cannot go to daycare. What do you mean four and a half weeks?

[Kale]

Yeah, it's disgusting. And we're thankful. Obviously we're lucky we have a village around us. And that's why it made me so emotional when Leah's best friend, like she literally offered to take a month off work to come and help us and.

[Becky]

You might need her.

[Kale]

Yeah. But like everyone's not that lucky, you know?

[Becky]

Absolutely not.

[Kale]

Yeah. And we have a two income household where, you know, I can pick up this like we would be. We're going to be fine regardless. It's just frustrating that we even have to have those discussions and make those decisions. This, our country gives such emphasis on family building and, you know, the quality of life and kids and making sure that kids are born and then it just doesn't matter afterwards. Right. There's no, there's no program programs in place that help people build families in the best way that they possibly can. It's just disgusting. I just crazy.

[Becky]

I mean, four and a half weeks is the most insane. Like, your baby does not qualify for daycare. Like, I'm just shook at that. And also to your point, like, just, this is y'all's first baby too. It's, it's. And not that a second or third or fourth baby is not the same, but neither of you know how she's going to be with this baby. Like, she may not want to be. Like, she might physically be capable of leaving the baby, but she might not want to. Like, they're. I just can't. I don't know. I. Hopefully someone will write into this podcast and say they know what to do in Pennsylvania because I'm shook.

[Kale]

Yeah. Living in New Jersey, working in Pennsylvania and like the physical places in Pennsylvania. But if you're paid out by where the come. I don't know how that all works, but I feel for anyone trying to make those decisions and figure out what you're trying to do because coming from two people who have good jobs and like good paying jobs, I mean, stressed.

[Becky]

About it, you know, I'm sorry y'all are having to think about that.

[Kale]

Well, you know, Kale, it's just a part of life.

[Becky]

It is a part of life, but it doesn't make it suck less.

[Kale]

Yeah, we'll figure it out. It is frustrating though. Through weight loss by hers, you can give yourself something to be excited about. In 2025, you can spend the new year in control of your weight by losing up to an average of 9 pounds in your first month. This is based on data that real hers customers have reported based on their personalized compound GLP1 treatment plan. Let's face it, weight loss can feel overwhelming. That's why hers is changing the game. By providing access to GLP1 medications plus expert care, they make your goals more achievable. Looking for weight loss solution that actually works? Weight loss by hers provides access to GLP1 medications with with personalized care to help you hit your goals.

[Becky]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

Take proactive care of your vaginal health and head to oh positive.com karma or enter code karma at checkout for 25 off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T-I V.com karma for 25 off.

[Kale]

Anyway, on to my next item on my it was funny because so many people loved last week's episode and last week's episode, I feel was just so chaotic jumping around to a million different places, which I love because that's how our friendship is, right? Like, we could be.

[Becky]

I loved how much people loved our 10 things that we would do for a hundred thousand dollars. And I was like, honestly, these people, like, we never met them. And they gas me up more than some of the people I know in real life. And I just. The best thing that anyone could ever say to me is that I'm funny. And the amount of comments that said I was funny, I was like, becky, you can post these videos on your TikTok anytime you want. I'm going to look at it right now. It has almost a million views.

[Kale]

Crazy. It was so funny because I have that on my list to talk about. But people were like, you know, it's 10,000, not 100k. The reason we did 100k, not 10k, because there's not much that I don't want to do that I would do for 10k. And I know that is like a privileged mindset, but, like, being older and like, valuing even, like, my body more and, like my safety, there's a lot.

[Becky]

I was more so. I was more so thinking from, like a tax perspective, like, if you get paid $10,000, 30, I would be saving 30%. And I know that's a little bit steep. So then I was thinking, okay, after taxes are removed and it's $7,000, there's none of these things I would do for that y. So I was.

[Kale]

But you can see that in the video, like, you're automatic, just wanting to fight like a kangaroo. I've seen so many kangaroo fighting videos.

[Becky]

That, like, I'm not on that side of Tick Tock. So I did not know. Like, I was not aware. I was not privy to the information.

[Kale]

You're just automatic. Yeah, I'll fight a kangaroo. You could, like, you couldn't pay me any money to fight a kangaroo.

[Becky]

I'd lose, but I would still do it.

[Kale]

You would die.

[Becky]

I mean, I don't know if I ever told you this story, but I used to be a horse whisperer and. No, I need you to hear me out. Okay? Back when I was growing up in Lake Wall and Paul Pack, my best friend in sixth grade, she used to work at a stable and I used to go there with her and she had a horse, and there was a horse there that was abused by its owner. Okay? So nobody could get close to the horse. But this was deep in my. I wanted an animal phase. And nobody ever, like, I don't know if I ever told you the story. Like, my mom's husband Named Jim. At the time, he was like, if you want a dog, like, you need to go outside and stand outside for 20 minutes in the cold with the dog. Because if you can do this, like, several times a day, then you're proving to me that when you have the dog, you're going to take it outside to go to the bathroom. And so, like, I would do that, and then they'd never get me a dog. So truly, I think it's like, borderline abuse. But long story short, go to the stables with Alessandra's reactions to what I say sometimes. Borderline abuse. That.

[Kale]

Yeah, there's abuse.

[Becky]

Same thing. So it's basically abuse. So then go to the stable with Riley, right? Like, we're having a sleepover. Go to the stables with her. And there's this. There's this abused horse in the field in the. In the. What is it called? In the pasture? Yeah, the horse came to me. Okay. I don't know why you're laughing. This was like, poor memory of mine. Wait, why are we talking about the horses again? Like, what were you saying?

[Kale]

Are you kidding?

[Becky]

I thought the ADHD meds were gonna work today. You brought it up. You literally said, did I ever tell you about the time that I was a horse whisperer? What were we talking about?

[Kale]

Animals. We weren't even. You brought up.

[Becky]

You said, did I ever tell you about the time I was a horse whisperer? No, but what were we saying before that?

[Kale]

I'm crying.

[Becky]

The kangaroo. That's what it was. It was the kangaroo. Stop making me laugh. I'm gonna cry. I would fight the kangaroo, but I think that I could.

[Kale]

The horse story's done.

[Becky]

Yeah, that was. That was it. Wait, the horror story was literally that you told and the horse came to you? The hor. I, like, was talking to the horse. Okay, Like, I was in your mind? Yes. This. Like, I was Dr. Dolittle. Like, we. We were here. You know what I mean? And that was it. That was the end of the story. So then I was gonna say that I could. Would do that with a kangaroo.

[Kale]

Oh, okay.

[Becky]

Did you follow the bouncing ball? So I. The. The kangaroo might not trust me right away and wants to fight me, but then I would, you know, I'm really.

[Kale]

Happy we're friends again.

[Becky]

I'm. Me too. Me, too. Yeah, me three. Alexander's like, I can't do this today.

[Kale]

What are the other things that were on there that were like, you fighting Jon Jones? And everyone in the comments is like, I'm pretty sure he was arrested For DV and you, which is crazy. Won't punch a woman. I had no idea.

[Becky]

I was loud and wrong loud and wrong about that. When I saw the comments about him having like dv, I was like, oh, got it.

[Kale]

I also found it wild that people were.

[Becky]

That's not real. That is dead ass real. That is not real. There is no way that is AI. There's no way. You said with all of the passion.

[Kale]

In your heart and you like it was definitive.

[Becky]

You said I would to up that kangaroo and look at him. That's unheard of. That is. Wait, no. Th.

[Kale]

This is the video Alessandra showing Caleb picture or video?

[Becky]

Look at its talents. That would freaking gut you. Are you joking? Look how big he is. I didn't have time to do research. Like he'd kill you with just his tail. He would literally just swipe across in my inside. We'll post that on Killer cuz what the fun. That was the most wild thing I've ever seen. Okay, I told Becky about Haya vitamins before. I'm obsessed with Haya. My kids love the experience. So it's not just a product, you guys. If you have a family, you have small kids, they get excited about decorating their little bottles, their little jars and they can put stickers on them. They come with the stickers. Haya is designed for kids of all ages and sent straight to your door so parents have one less thing to worry about. I do not want to add vitamins to my grocery shopping list because I don't have to anymore. Thanks to Haya, they come right to my door and I'm obsessed.

[Kale]

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[Becky]

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[Kale]

I can't believe the amount of people that wouldn't lick a toilet for money.

[Becky]

I don't know if you've ever seen Lux and Lincoln's toilet. They share a bathroom.

[Kale]

There isn't many things I wouldn't lick for money. Like just a little lick my kids a hot dog off a frat floor.

[Becky]

One my kids can barely wipe their own butts. And you'd lick their toilet? No, no. They came out of me and I wouldn't lick the toilet. No. Ain't no way.

[Kale]

Speaking of videos that I can't help but watch, I have, like, that thing where, like, I can't listen to people chew.

[Becky]

Yeah, right.

[Kale]

Like in per. Like, Leah will start eating something and it'll trigger me to just want to get a divorce, you know?

[Becky]

Right.

[Kale]

And so I can't experience that. Help my. What?

[Becky]

That. I've never experienced that.

[Kale]

Never?

[Becky]

No.

[Kale]

Oh, my God. It's bad. But on the other hand, I can't not watch eating videos. Like, when they just slurp and eat, I'm just like, why can't I turn this off?

[Becky]

Wait, I wonder what that is that adhd? Because I feel like that's like executive dysfunction where you, like, cannot change it. But you're just, like, sitting there and you're watching. It's like me when I look at a mess on the floor and I'm like, I can't do anything about this. That's sort of what you're describing to me. Me?

[Kale]

Yeah. I don't know. That's just what popped in my head, and I said it out loud.

[Becky]

I was eating cookies when we came up on this recording. Now I know why you asked me, why are you always eating?

[Kale]

I asked why you're always eating. Because people are like, kale, why are you always eating?

[Becky]

Oh, they do?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Oh, sorry about that. Did they ask that? I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know.

[Kale]

She's not eating today, folks.

[Becky]

So, no, I was.

[Kale]

Ate some cookies before we press record. But. But a couple other comments I need to. So people keep asking me what I do for my skincare routine.

[Becky]

She literally does nothing. She's like, I use a warm washcloth.

[Kale]

I use my hands and my Old.

[Becky]

Spice body wash. On your face?

[Kale]

Yeah. Like when I'm in the shower and I'm like, well, I use a. I use a African Net sponge, and then I go with my old Old Spice body wash.

[Becky]

But I don't even wash my face with Old Spice.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, whatever's in the shower.

[Becky]

How does Leah feel about that?

[Kale]

What does she care? My skin is fine.

[Becky]

What is it like to be God's favorite?

[Kale]

And then secondarily, someone asked about my hair.

[Becky]

Oh, yeah. Do you dye it?

[Kale]

This is natural. I've never dyed my hair in my entire life. I started going gray when I was 19, when I started dating girls. And I don't know if there's correlation between that, but my mom also started going gray when she was 18.

[Becky]

So your sister is also gray?

[Kale]

Yeah, my gray is just. It's genetics. I've never really, like, someone asked if it's something that I struggled with, like, contemplated dyeing it or not. I've never really struggled with it because my hair is always up for 1, 2. Dyeing it just seems like a headache. And the only time I've. I've ever really questioned if I should dye it or not is this one time. Lee and I were not. Leah and I were at the bar and some kid came up to us and asked me if I was Leah's mom. So that made me want to not be alive.

[Becky]

Understandable. I understand that.

[Kale]

That's the only time I've ever questioned, damn, should I be dyeing my hair? Do I actually look like her mom?

[Becky]

No, you don't. But also, just to clarify, I don't think coloring your hair would be a lot of work. I think it's a lot of maintenance if you have to, like. And I don't know that for. Because I haven't had any grays yet, but maybe.

[Kale]

Which is surprising. Your life is stressful.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's true. But I think stress and gray hair is a myth.

[Kale]

But you also dye it a lot.

[Becky]

I color my hair every six weeks.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So I. But I was going to say, usually coloring your hair is not as much upkeep as bleaching your hair. But with grays, it might be different because if you're trying to hide them, it might be different. But, you know, my friend Kathy, she's. She's transitioning now to go full, full gray. And it look really good on her just like it does on you.

[Kale]

Yeah, thanks.

[Becky]

But I think that some people, like, I don't think I'm gonna have a pretty gray. Like, I think I'm gonna have like a. Like, yours is a nice silvery white. I'm not gonna have that.

[Kale]

What are you gonna have?

[Becky]

I'm probably gonna have like an ugly. Like an actual gray. That's not flattering. You know what I mean? Like, my aunt has, oddly enough, her name Is Susie also. My aunt Susie has, like, this icy white.

[Kale]

Your dad's sister or mom? Mom.

[Becky]

No, it's on my mom's side, like an uncle.

[Kale]

And then, like, the aunt married.

[Becky]

She has, like, literal ice white hair. Hold on. If I can find a picture of her. And it's just so nice. But it's not like. Like, I don't think I'll have that.

[Kale]

You know, she. She's not genetically related to you, right?

[Becky]

No, she's not. Yeah, so I won't have those. Good genetics.

[Kale]

Speaking of hair, someone asked me if I would ever cut my hair, and then Leah asked if I ever would cut my hair.

[Becky]

Well, would you?

[Kale]

I don't think so.

[Becky]

You don't?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

I can't picture you with short hair.

[Kale]

What?

[Becky]

I can't picture you with short hair.

[Kale]

That makes me really uncomfortable to think about. I have a lot of, like, trauma and PTSD from when I was a kid of, like, being misgendered. And so, like, that whole area of life I don't want to re. Enter. And so the idea.

[Becky]

So we're not gonna talk about it?

[Kale]

No, no. I mean, like, the idea of cutting my hair would put me in the situation of being misgendered all the time. Time. I wish I could just shave my head.

[Becky]

Like, can we talk about that, though? I wasn't anticipating talking about this on this. On today's podcast, but I have a lot of questions about that.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

So the girls that I've been. The girls that I have been with in my life are. I don't know how to word this. Are. Are frequently misgendered. I can't say they are because I'm not obviously talking to them anymore.

[Kale]

But while you're with them, they were often misgendered. Yeah.

[Becky]

And so what is that like, then? Because you're saying you have PTSD from that as a child. Right. Which I think would be a little bit different than when you're an adult, because when you're an adult and you're misgendered, you're choosing to look the way that you look, whatever that may be, whether you cut your hair or you wear male clothes or whatever that looks like. At one of my shows, it was in Dallas, I met up with one of the girls, and she's like, I just know he's gonna call me a sir. I know he's gonna call me a sir. And I just waited for it, but then he did. But what is that like? Like, I don't.

[Kale]

I think it's different. I Think it's so different for everyone. For me, I, like, it just triggers just really bad things in my mind. So, like, it sends my body into, like, a shock. Someone actually called me sir yesterday on Wednesday.

[Becky]

I know. And I sent it to me.

[Kale]

No, no, no. That was just. That was different. That was like a bot on Instagram. This was irl, like, in real life life.

[Becky]

Oh. Because then I was, like, laughing with. It was like.

[Kale]

No, that was funny. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Becky]

Okay. Because you didn't laugh at it. And I was like, oh, that was bad.

[Kale]

That was just. That was funny. But I. It really is just, like, maybe if I did, I was, like, made fun of my entire life being called a boy. And so maybe if that didn't. I don't know how you just outgrow that. And, like, I don't know.

[Becky]

But. So I guess my question. More lies where. When you're an adult and you're choosing not you specifically, but. And maybe I'm out of place for asking, but, like, if you're an adult and you dress a certain way and you have your hair cut a certain way, you know, but then that's just.

[Kale]

Aligning just like a physical appearance to a gender.

[Becky]

Right. So then getting upset at someone who may misgender you, whether it. I would hope it's on accident.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Can. Do you be upset by that when they literally don't know you and they. So that's where I. I don't think.

[Kale]

It merits you to be upset with someone because, like, I wasn't upset with a good guy that I was just like, oh, it's okay. It's my own internalized, like, sadness.

[Becky]

Right. No, I think if someone. If someone is doing it on purpose, that's a different conversation.

[Kale]

It's all about intent. Right. Like, or if someone asked me if I have a husband, like, if they're intentionally not doing it as harm. Right. Like, it's. It's all relative to where the intent comes from. I think that if you dress and you are forward, like, looking as if you are a certain gender, like. Like you expect that to come. Maybe that's why I started dressing more feminine than masculine, because I didn't want to be in that situation, but I do. But I enjoy being a female. Like, I like. I like having that, like, sexy part of myself. Like, being a female. I just don't know how my hair fits into the puzzle, you know?

[Becky]

Yeah. Like, what about cutting your hair would make you feel like you would be misgendered?

[Kale]

Just like, am I going to wear A bun the rest of my life, maybe.

[Becky]

But if that's okay, if you choose to. What's wrong with that?

[Kale]

I don't know. Like, do I. Should I get a haircut?

[Becky]

I would also just like to add that I don't think that you're. I think your situation is a little bit different because you're, like, about, like, the misgendering. But I think a lot of people, like, I have already started thinking about how wear my hair when I'm older. Because I think at a certain age, like, you figure out, like, you have to change your hair. Right? Like, do you know what I mean? I think about it all the time. Like, am I gonna have long hair that's, like, old hair? Like, I don't know. Or am I gonna, like, have, you know, like, those, like, short.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Old women have, like. You know what I mean? Like, my mom had it, my grandma had it. My great grandma had it. So, like, am I gonna have that? I just.

[Kale]

Am I gonna have my mom's hair? I don't.

[Becky]

Like, how does your mom wear her? Yeah, my mom. My mom wears, like, my mom, my grandma, my great grandma wear my. Wear their hair. Like, your mom wears her hair?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Is that a generational thing?

[Kale]

I don't know.

[Becky]

I'd be like, not a regular grandma, but a cool grandma. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, do I just shave my head?

[Becky]

Lincoln asked me yesterday, do I wear wigs?

[Kale]

Lincoln did?

[Becky]

Yeah. He looked at. Because I don't know if this is the age where you, like, decide. Like, I think he's also trying to figure out, like, you know, girls that have, like, braids and they add hair, or Lux has locks, and so. And then Rio has cornrows. And so I think he's just trying to figure it out. And so he, like, do you ever wear wigs? Like, do you wear wigs? And I'm like, no, I don't. But I'm not saying I wouldn't.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

You know what I mean?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Maybe you'll wear wigs.

[Kale]

Maybe. Well, I mean, it wouldn't be a wig situation. It would just be, like, I don't know. Maybe I'll ask Ryan what kind of hairstyles he thinks I could rock. But then I. I fear I would do it. Then I wouldn't be able to get it into a bun. And then I'd just be sad.

[Becky]

I would agree, because I can't wear my hair down.

[Kale]

But it's just, like, uncomfortable. It's so long. It's like. Like, my hair is down to my hips.

[Becky]

And then I have the opposite where I don't want to wear my hair up.

[Kale]

Yeah. But then I was like, do I? I was like, should I get like a mullet? Yes.

[Becky]

No. I will not support the mullet. Okay, Becky, you are about to get your package from Lumi. I already got mine. I've been obsessed with them for several years and I've talked about them on my podcast past. But this is deodorant. Okay? So we're talking about whole body deodorant safe to use anywhere on your body. Your pits, your under boobs, your thigh folds, your belly buttons like me, butt cracks, vulvas and feet. Whatever you need it for. And it was created by an OBGYN who saw firsthand how normal BO was being misdiagnosed and mistreated. This is clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72 hours. They have solid deodorant stains. They have sweat control deodorant. They have spray deodorant. All products are baking soda free and paraben free and they're ph balanced for safe use below the waist.

[Kale]

I'm excited to get my package, but I am also excited because I know that I am getting toasted coconut in the mail. They also have scents like clean tangerine, lavender, sage. If you want to try America's number one whole body deodorant formula right now, you can find them in Walmart, Target and other realtors across the country. For best deals, go to Lumi Deodorant. Lumi Starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant Cream tube Deodorant. Two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as special offer for listeners. New customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starterback, that equals over 40% off their starter package. Use code KARMA for 15 off your first purchase at lumideodorant.com that's code KARMA at L U M E D E o d o R-A-N-T.com Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Smell fresher, stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi.

[Becky]

When you guys think about fast food, you probably think about unhealthy thought out patties dripping with grease. But when you are on a tight schedule and you need to save time, you might not have any other option. So if this sounds familiar, you need to check out Tempo. Tempo can provide you with protein packed fuel to save time without compromising your health goals. And I know that Becky's been in the gym every day. I'm trying to be in the treadmill every day. And we're well into 2025 now, which means that your New Year's resolutions are probably starting to become New Year's compromises. But we want to switch that up with real food made with real ingredients.

[Kale]

Technology was supposed to make our lives easier, so why does it now feel like we have less and less time? As more and more gets packed into our days, we have less time to think about what we're packing into our bodies. Thankfully, there is Tempo, my new go to fast and fresh meals. With Tempo, you can select from 20/ mindful choices on their weekly menu and all meals cooked in just three minutes. I actually live off meals like this, so I'm really excited to add Tempo to the menu mix. I've tried other meal deliveries where you kind of when you have to cook them and we would just end up wasting food. So I'm really excited to add this back into my daily mix of food. It makes me at least eat one.

[Becky]

Or two full meals, period, because I want to eat healthier. And for a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60 off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com karma that's tempomeals.com karma for 60 off your first box. Tempo meals.com karma rules and restrictions may apply.

[Kale]

So if anyone listening has any hairstyle advice. Because I wear my hair half up, half down when I'm on vacation. That's my, like, vacation go to. Okay, that's fun. But it's.

[Becky]

You used to do the braid.

[Kale]

I do the braid when I wear a hat or like a beanie. That's nice, but nice. I just don't know because, like, the bun is just my comfort. Like, that's my home.

[Becky]

You could. Yeah, no, I, I get it, but I don't. You don't have to decide today. You can decide later on.

[Kale]

Imagine my head.

[Becky]

What if you did, like, the buzz, like, under here and then you just did.

[Kale]

I'm just not an undercut person.

[Becky]

Yeah, I can't. I can't say it. But also, you're gonna like the bun when Baby Bex comes because your baby's gonna be pulling your hair. So it'll be good for the bun to. To be.

[Kale]

And I love buns because it gives them something focal to look at.

[Becky]

Yeah. Especially yours because it's high and big. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

[Kale]

You know what I mean? My thing is, like, is that I don't wear makeup. So if I wore makeup, I could just shave my head, you know, because then I wouldn't be like, what. What is your face for?

[Becky]

You don't need to shave your head. For what? Why are we shaving your head?

[Kale]

Because, like, what do I like? I don't do anything with it. Just. I don't know.

[Becky]

How about we have Taylor give you a blowout?

[Kale]

Should we make a video of it?

[Becky]

Yes. I would love to see you. I've never seen you with straight hair. I've never seen you straight. I've never seen you with straight hair. Let's just do a whole straight vibe.

[Kale]

We're just two silly, goofy girls today, huh?

[Becky]

Silly, goofy girls getting beat up by kangaroos. It's fine. It's no big deal.

[Kale]

I could let Taylor do a blowout. Ryan might get upset because I never let him do anything to my hair there. Except just.

[Becky]

Oh, it could be Ryan. It doesn't have to be. Actually, Taylor's going on maternity leave, so it might have to be Ryan, but he has to be willing to do the content.

[Kale]

Yeah, we could. Next time we do something in Philly.

[Becky]

Does he. Does he live there?

[Kale]

That's where his salon is.

[Becky]

Oh, he owns a salon or, like, a suite?

[Kale]

His uncle owns the salon, and he's been working at the salon since he was 13.

[Becky]

I love that. I really love that. I also. Speaking of owning a business, I do have an update for you, and we've been talking, so you kind of already know, but the listeners don't know. I got a building. Ish. For my sports facility. The build starts next month, and I have the trademark in the works, and I already have two coaches that reached out for contracts I haven't even opened yet. So I'm very, very, very excited, and I'm hoping that the doors will open this time. 2026. So it moved very quickly. I literally texted Becky the other day, and she goes, wait, what? This moved so quickly. And it really did.

[Kale]

It really just had our recording, what, two, three weeks ago? A month ago. And I was like, yeah, dude, that makes sense. You should 100% have a sports complex.

[Becky]

And then. But you know what? I think it was that I had the idea for a really long time, and. But I never really executed executed because I was like, I don't really know. Maybe I didn't have, like, the. I didn't feel like I had like, the push or the encouragement to do it. And then when I said it out loud and I was talking to you about it and you're into sports and you could see the vision, I think that's where I was like, okay, But I think this will be really good because it's not with somebody else. It's like, Elijah and I are going to run it. The kids will be able to do it. But I'm really excited. I hope that people love it, and I hope that, you know, I hope that people will come support, and I would love to do, like, a big grand opening.

[Kale]

I can't wait. I'm.

[Becky]

A year's gonna go. A year is gonna go by quick.

[Kale]

I know I can. In my mind, when you talk about it, I just picture, like, Lincoln having his own little clinic to help little kids. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm so happy. I'm excited. I'm.

[Becky]

I'm also just thinking of, like, if my kids decide not to go to college, which is fine. Yeah, they can run the business, they can work, they can expand the business if they choose to. And so, like, it just gives me hope for them because college is not for everyone. And, you know, unfortunately, I guess, fortunately for them, they would get something handed to them, essentially, but they would also have to do the work to keep up with it. And I think that, you know, if I. If I'm able to start a business for them, I want to do that. So, yeah, you know, hopefully it's. Hopefully it works out. I mean, I'm excited.

[Kale]

Or they could go to college in. With the mindset of taking over the business and go to college and learn of things that can help them with the business too.

[Becky]

Right. Well, especially because times are always changing, so that would be really important. And they'll know, you know, maybe new. New things will come out or new, you know, whatever. Technology, things like that. And I need one of them to be an accountant. That'll be good.

[Kale]

I can kind of see Isaac being.

[Becky]

A C. I said that, but he's not. He told me he's living abroad. He doesn't want to stay here. He's like, not about it. So I said. I said, a lawyer, an accountant. He was like, no, no.

[Kale]

I told Piper she needed to be. Start doing photography so I could just hire her every time I need a photographer.

[Becky]

I know. I tried to tell Isaac. That was like, what about social media? Because some colleges are doing social media as a major now.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And I was like, literally, in house. Keep all the money in house. And he was like, no. I was like, oh, at least.

[Kale]

At least you let you accept the no and just kind of move on, you know?

[Becky]

Yeah, whatever. I mean, whatever makes them happy. I want. When people do this thing. Sorry, that was my water bottle. I didn't fart, I swear. Where. When people ask kids, oh, what do you want to be when you grow up? I just want my kids to say happy. Like, I want them to be happy, healthy, and then third, successful. You know what I mean? Like, and whatever that looks like, what success is to me is maybe not successful in their eyes. Maybe just the happiness alone is success. And I love that for them. So I just want them to be happy. I don't know. Anyways, Alessandra sent us a submission. Do you want to read it?

[Kale]

I think you. Maybe you should read it, because I'm a little sick.

[Becky]

Okay, fair. I was 10 days postpartum and found my husband calling a girl. We will call Shelby all hours of the day while at work. And honest drives to and from work. Hell no. Shelby is also his sister's best friend, and it's decided. Instead of talking to her best friend, she chose to befriend my husband. Okay, so hold on.

[Kale]

Start this over.

[Becky]

Okay? Just to give you the right. So instead of talking to the best friend, she's talking to the best. Okay. I was 10 days postpartum, and I found my husband calling a girl. We will call Shelby all hours of the day at work and on his drives to and from work. Shelby is also his sister's best friend. Okay, so husband, sister, and then the best friend. Okay, tracking. So the best friend should be talking to husband's sister, but she's choosing to talk to the husband. Got it. Okay. She chose to befriend my husband by acting like she was going to hurt herself to get his attention, all while knowing he had a wife and two kids, including a newborn. We'll come to find out she was talking to multiple men to see who would take the bait and try to trap them with a baby. What in the world is this? She became pregnant a month after my discovery, not my husband's baby. Well, the guy immediately left her to be a single mom after telling her that from the beginning that he did not want children. Is being a single mom her karma for the trauma she caused me or just. Just chaos for her?

[Kale]

First and foremost, that girl's karma and chaos has nothing to do with the person who submitted this. You know what I mean? Like, that's her own. That's crazy. It's Both. It's both karma and chaos.

[Becky]

That is karma and chaos. That is the definition of karma and chaos.

[Kale]

That. And like, how do you. How does one know that that's their intention and that's what they're. Maybe that's. I don't know. Couldn't be. Maybe.

[Becky]

You ever have a trap baby?

[Kale]

If you could but like, trap someone into impregnating me.

[Becky]

Like, a trap baby is like when you are with someone and you're like, you intentionally get pregnant, but you never say that it was intentional. So like, maybe. Excuse me.

[Kale]

The way that my mind thought of it is like, if I was with a girl and she could get me pregnant.

[Becky]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm asking you.

[Kale]

That's what I mean. Like, if. If this scenario worked in a situation of it being with a female and I'm a female and get pregnant by her, would I accidentally get pregnant by them?

[Becky]

Maybe feel like it's a. I probably.

[Kale]

Would have kids a long time ago.

[Becky]

An emotionally stunted or maturity issue, but also a crazy person. Like, people say all the time that I trapped or I trapped. And it's like, did you see the way they treated me? Did you see? I would have been crazy to have trapped these people. Right? Like, sex won't make him love you. A baby won't make him stay kind of thing. But I definitely know of like, people trapping athletes, people trapping, like they accidentally get pregnant. You know what I mean? No. You had every intention of that. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think this is just pure karma and pure chaos. All. All of the above. It sounds like someone needs to go take a grip.

[Becky]

Grippy. A grippy stop vacation.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Yeah, for sure. Poor baby. At the end of the day, that baby is re. Is getting some karma and chaos that he or she did not deserve, unfortunately. Yeah. Well, it was great laughing with you today.

[Kale]

Yeah, today's episode was fun.

[Becky]

Yeah, it was a good one. Until next time, don't forget to follow Becky. Tell us where to find you.

[Kale]

You can find me at hater25 on all social media platforms and for the haters and then Becky, hater.com don't forget.

[Becky]

To follow and subscribe to for the haters on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts. Becky is also doing a book club live for onyx storm on February 28th. And you. I think it's at 7:30pm we'll post the link in the description if there's anything else, submission stories, questions, advice you can email us at info @karma chaos podcast.com Good job. Thanks. Thanks Alessandra.

[Kale]

Have a great day, everyone. Love you.

[Becky]

See ya. At Pluto tv, we're celebrating Black History Month with our curated collection of Black content all streaming for free. Find groundbreaking films including Selma, Django, Unchained Ali and Coach Carter. You have an incredible gift up here. Gripping series like Power and the Game Next Level combination comedies, music video channels and more brilliant Black entertainment. Intentionally curated and all free this month and always on Pluto TV Stream. Now pay Never hey moms, have you.

[Kale]

Ever felt like there's more to motherhood than what we're told?

[Becky]

Then you need to check out our.

[Kale]

Podcast, Moms Ask why. Hosted by Chelsea Jules and Brittany Whitney.

[Becky]

Moms Ask why dives deep into the.

[Kale]

Tough questions surrounding motherhood. Our mission? To educate, inspire, and empower moms like you to take charge of your children's health with real talk, expert insight, and actionable advice. This is a podcast every mom needs in her playlist. Because sometimes the best way to be.

[Becky]

A great mom is to ask why. Follow Rate Interview Moms Ask why Now on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you.

[Kale]

Listen to your podcasts.