Karma, Chaos, and Curly Fries

Summary

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Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter

Episode: Karma, Chaos, and Curly Fries
Date: January 27, 2026
PodcastOne

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, hosts Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter reunite in person, bringing their signature blend of unfiltered honesty and infectious humor to chat about the unpredictable chaos—and occasional good karma—of adulthood and friendship in their 30s. They riff on everything from failed fashion choices and digital nostalgia to the intricacies of maintaining deep friendships, the emotional minefields of parenthood, pop culture hot topics, book club habits, and even the etiquette of wedding invites. Always relatable, sometimes poignant, and frequently hilarious, this conversation is a warm dive into the joys and curveballs of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rekindling Friendship & Fashion Faux Pas

• The episode opens with Kail and Becky bantering about morning greetings, fashion missteps (Kail’s lacy top ordeal), and the rush of getting Dave’s Hot Chicken delivered ([00:37]–[03:55]).
  • Notable moment: Becky cracks up at Kail’s outfit, which leads to Kail defensively declaring, “I’m manifesting.” ([02:44])
  • “Okay, so I can’t be trendy? Like I’m trying to keep up with the times and you’re like literally ripping my dreams to shreds.” – Kail ([03:47])

2. Pop Culture, BookTok, & Annotating Books

• Becky and Kail geek out about current pop culture (like the show “Heated Rivalry”), and transition to a discussion about annotating books, color-coding tabs, and how stories can tie friends together ([04:46]–[10:44]).

  • They discuss the emotional act of tabbing books, what it means to them, and stories of sharing books among friends.

  • Becky shares her obsession with “Red Rising” and book communities on TikTok, while Kail details her love for annotating “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo”.

  • Quote: “Taking time to read something that means something to your friend or your family member...that would make me bawl my eyes out.” – Kail ([08:35])

  • Sisterhood of the Traveling Book: Becky describes a TikTok where friends annotate a book together for a special gift ([08:11]).

3. Digital Nostalgia & Generational Shifts

• The hosts reminisce about digital cameras, photo albums, MySpace, and how technology has shifted the culture of memory-keeping ([13:00]–[19:24]).
  • Becky notes her nieces' digital camera “era”, while Kail reveals she wishes she’d kept more physical photos from high school.
  • MySpace Top 8 drama gets a hilarious revisit.
    • “It was so caddy, like having a top eight.” – Kail ([18:38])
    • “Today’s top eight is the pinned conversations, but I don’t like to show people mine.” – Kail ([19:26])

4. Deep Dives: Memory, Family, and Who Knows You Best

• Thoughtful talk about who they’d trust to tell them about their own life if they lost their memory. For Becky, it’s her sisters; Kail isn’t sure she has ‘one person’ ([19:40]–[23:44]).

  • Kail references the book “Pictures of You” by Emma Gray: “It’s one of my five star reads of 2025.” ([21:12])

• Becky shares a personal story about her half-siblings and her child's donor sibling, emphasizing the complexities and joys of nontraditional families.

5. Motherhood and the Chaos of Parenting

• Honest reflections on how parenting flips life upside down, even with the most supportive partner ([26:09]–[27:55]):

  • “You can have the most supportive partner in the world and it’s still the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.” – Kail ([27:10])

• Becky talks about the relief she's felt from taking pregnancy "off the table" for the year, feeling re-energized and excited for 2026.

6. Modern Adulting & Friendship Maintenance

• Playful grievances and honest admissions about how friendship changes with time, parenthood, and distance ([33:49]–[35:20]).
  • “I invited you to Lake Tahoe and the first thing you said was no.” – Kail ([35:03])

7. Pop Culture News: Alex Earle & Braxton Berrios

• Discussion of Alex Earle’s very public breakup and her choice to prioritize herself and her career ([38:03]–[39:34]).

  • “Normalizing loving someone and it not working out, I think is really good for younger generations.” – Kail ([38:49])

• The group weighs in on cheating speculation, and what it means when even “the best” get cheated on.

  • “These men really have audacity… you’re not gonna get better than her.” – Kail ([40:03])

8. Fun Facts & Tangents

• Animal biology fun fact: Cats (and humans) can be impregnated by multiple males at once; Becky is delighted and Kail's experience with “interesting kitten litters” clicks into place ([40:45]–[41:32]).

9. Podcasting Behind the Scenes

• Becky discusses how she’s juggling guest selection for her "For the Haters" podcast—balancing empathy with the need for compelling interviews ([42:01]–[46:21]).
  • Both hosts lament how “media-trained” guests can deliver unexpectedly great content, and everyday guests sometimes surprise them.

10. Slapstick & Stories: Winter Fails and Minor Triumphs

• Becky shares her disastrous attempts to clear winter snow from the roof (in shorts!) and reflects on physical vs figurative falls in life ([47:00]–[48:14]).
  • Kail recounts an embarrassing middle school fall, drawing life lessons about self-reliance:
  • “No one’s coming to save you,” – Kail ([51:32])

11. Parenthood & Mini-Meltodowns

• Becky details her partner Leah’s Christmas Eve phone crisis, culminating in a very relatable curly fries moment ([53:33]–[54:59]).

12. Wedding Etiquette Rants

• Strong feelings about child-free weddings and plus-one etiquette ([56:35]–[59:39]):
  • “Don’t assume, like, you should just assume that weddings are child free.” – Becky ([57:15])
  • “If my partner’s not invited, I’m not going.” – Kail ([58:07])
  • They unpack the social dynamics when friends don’t invite partners and how it affects relationships.

13. Friendships, Social Media, and Hater Energy

• Examining toxic friendships and how some friends react to your wins with negativity ([61:02]–[68:01]).
  • Listener submission (Is It Karma or Chaos?): A question about a friend who always turns good news into her own struggle. Kail is adamant: “That’s fucking chaos... throw that relationship away.” ([62:13])
  • “I want my friends to do whatever the fuck they want…. Having other people around me like that propels me too.” – Alessandra ([62:56])
  • Kail and Alessandra discuss unfollow culture, supporting friends online vs IRL, and the value of preserving your energy for reciprocal relationships.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On friendship and fashion:
  “You just cried laughing at my outfit. And I just… I don’t know how to feel about that.” – Kail ([04:34])

• On book annotation:
  “For me, you’re going above and beyond as a friend because it is a commitment to read a book… that would make me bawl my eyes out.” – Kail ([08:35])

• On parenting:
  “You can have the most supportive partner in the world, and it is still… the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.” – Kail ([27:10])

• On friendship maintenance:
  “When we go long times apart, I think you forget that I’m your friend… subconsciously.” – Becky ([34:14])

• On relationship endings:
  “Normalizing loving someone and it not working out, I think is really good for younger generations…” – Kail ([38:49])

• On failures and independence:
  “No one’s coming to save you.” – Kail ([51:32])

• On social media support:
  “If you’re my close friend and you’re not commenting on my stuff, just unfollow me. We don’t have to… If you don’t like me, unfollow me.” – Kail ([65:57])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:37 – Bickering & Fashion Commentary
• 04:46 – Pop Culture Catch-up & BookTok/Annotating Books
• 13:00 – Digital Camera & Memory-Keeping Discussion
• 19:40 – “If you lost your memory, who would you trust to tell your life story?”
• 26:09 – Parenting Real Talk: Flipping Life Upside Down
• 33:49 – Friendship Maintenance and Time Apart
• 38:03 – Alex Earle & Breakup Conversation
• 42:01 – Podcast Prep: Guest Booking Woes
• 47:00 – Winter Fails & Life Lessons
• 53:33 – Christmas Eve Phone Meltdown (and curly fries)
• 56:35 – Wedding Etiquette (Child-Free, Plus-Ones)
• 61:02 – Is It Karma or Is It Chaos: Listener Friendship Dilemma
• 65:57 – Social Media, Friendships, and Boundaries

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Tone & Style

True to the hosts' personalities, the episode combines unfiltered, honest talk with warmth, wit, and the occasional tangent. The banter is fast-paced and laced with laughter, like listening to candid friends at brunch. Deep topics are treated with both seriousness and levity, embodying the episode title—karma, chaos, and plenty of curly fries.

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For anyone navigating the chaos of adulthood, friendships, and family, Kail and Becky offer a refreshing mix of relatable insights, laughter, and comfort in knowing you're not alone in the mayhem.

Transcript

[Becky]

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[Kale]

Have your button around the corner. Good morning, good evening, good day, good night.

[Becky]

Oh, I forgot to say that last time.

[Kale]

That's why I just said it, because you dropped the ball.

[Becky]

Wow. I am so sorry to everyone listening. I know that your day was probably just so ruined, but good morning. Good even. Good day, Good night. Coming at you live from Dover, Delaware.

[Kale]

We'Re waiting on our Dave's Hot Chicken.

[Becky]

We are waiting on our Dave's Hot Chicken. I love Dave's Hot Chicken. I don't leave for all of you that you probably know if you're listening. I live in the middle of what.

[Kale]

I didn't know Dave's Hot Chicken was a franchise. I thought it was, like, local to Dover, Delaware, and we just got it. So I was really excited. I was like, oh, look at this mom and pop. Like, chicken place. Like, this is lit.

[Becky]

See, that all makes sense to me.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Yeah. I live in the middle of nowhere, so I don't get access to food. Really? We have, like, three pizza places. Three pizza places in our town. Chinese food. We have really good Chinese food. But. So anytime I leave my house, I get really excited about the possibilities of what can I put in this mouth. And I love Dave's Hot Chicken. Like, I love it. Like, I dream about it sometimes.

[Kale]

I also love Mike's Hot Honey. Do you know what that is?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

It's so good. It just feels like Dave and Mike might have a good, like, business thing.

[Becky]

I. I'm. I'm, like, trying not to. I'm trying to get over this. I don't understand what you're. You're wearing, dude. I, like, do not. I cannot. I. You guys, the wheezing in my head, it's like. It's like. I don't know. Is it like a new trend?

[Kale]

Like, doesn't everyone do this at this point?

[Becky]

I just keep seeing the. It looks like a wedding dress underneath your T shirt.

[Kale]

I'm manifesting.

[Becky]

I'm just so confused. I'm so confused. It's like, it's not the arms. It's up here.

[Kale]

Like, that wasn't supposed to happen.

[Becky]

It keeps poking up.

[Kale]

Okay, but it was supposed to be the vibe. Okay, like, please.

[Becky]

It's just. Is it keeping you? I. I don't. Because you're like holding it like.

[Kale]

She's taking it off.

[Alessandra]

Only fans.

[Becky]

Oh, is this better?

[Kale]

Like, do you feel like this is better?

[Becky]

I have a really great view of.

[Kale]

Those nips I paid good money for.

[Becky]

Your boobs look nice and small. Put your T shirt back on.

[Kale]

You said it was ugly.

[Becky]

Not the T shirt. The what?

[Kale]

That thing.

[Becky]

What?

[Kale]

Okay, so I can't be trendy. Like I'm trying to keep up with the times and you're like literally ripping my dreams to shreds.

[Becky]

That's why I asked. Is it a new thing?

[Kale]

She can't get over it.

[Becky]

Well. Okay. Anyway, I lost track. Welcome back, everyone.

[Kale]

Do you think like a lace company would sponsor me? No, you didn't have to say it like that.

[Becky]

Put your shirt back on.

[Kale]

You said it was horrible.

[Becky]

Your shirt is nice. Just put the lace not showing on the.

[Kale]

I actually think it might be on backwards.

[Becky]

Backwards.

[Kale]

Cuz there's no tag. So it was just like a free for all. Like you just hope for the best. Like you wing it and hope for the best.

[Becky]

Actually, I think it's like ambidextrous. I think it goes both ways.

[Kale]

Kind of like me. It's like right up my alley. Okay, you just cried laughing at my outfit. And I just. I don't know how to feel about that.

[Becky]

Anyway, did you watch Heated Rivalry?

[Kale]

Right.

[Becky]

I know we said he did rival really last time, but we didn't talk about if you've watched it or not.

[Kale]

Is that a show?

[Becky]

Yeah, it is. I haven't watched it, so I have.

[Kale]

No idea what's our conversation really. What. Where is it? What is it about?

[Becky]

Anyone?

[Alessandra]

No, I know what it is.

[Becky]

I haven't watched it. It's a book too. It's about what? It's about two hockey players who like fall in love. Oh, yeah, it's. Apparently it's like really smutty.

[Kale]

Wait, like two hockey player males.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's like all the rave right now.

[Kale]

Love. Never heard of it. I'll watch it.

[Alessandra]

Finally getting.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Gays kissing our hot.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I don't know if it turns me on at all.

[Becky]

I think it would. I think you should watch the show.

[Kale]

Like, I support whatever, but like that doesn't. It doesn't like make me tingle or anything.

[Becky]

Just watch. Watch the show and report back.

[Kale]

Okay, I'll do that. For sure.

[Becky]

Because it's. It's not more so. I think for me it's not more so that it's the act of kissing. It's like the act of falling in love and kissing, you know?

[Kale]

Okay. Kissing is definitely intimate. Like I feel like it's like, sure.

[Becky]

More intimate with someone once who wouldn't let me kiss them.

[Kale]

Oh, see, yeah. No, if I'm like, first of all, I've never had a one night stand, but if I did, they're not kissing me. Like, it's not. I. You're not touching my mouth with your mouth. Like, that's never happening.

[Becky]

Interesting.

[Kale]

Like, I only want to kiss somebody that I'm like in love with.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Except for when it was me and you. Like, I wasn't obviously in love with you, but like, you're my friend, so it's a little different. But I mean like a lover. Do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

We don't need to rehash all that.

[Kale]

Are you uncomfortable?

[Becky]

No. I have a question. Do you. Do you tab books, when you read them, what does that mean? And why are people doing that?

[Kale]

I can't speak for everybody, but for me it's like if I resonate with something, a quote that I love, something that I feel like I have like a visceral reaction to, like, different feelings I have through the book. Some people like color, coordinate theirs, minus just things that I resonate with.

[Becky]

Do you go back and sometimes read it?

[Kale]

He asked me that and I was like, honestly, it's harder when I'm on my Kindle because I'll highlight it and I don't always go back. But if you have a Kindle and you have good reads, you can share those certain quotes to your Goodreads, which I like. But like Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is probably my most annotated book. And I related so hard to so many aspects of that book that I annotated the out of it. Read that and it's about to be a movie or a series. So for me it was just that, like, it was just like what I.

[Becky]

Resonate with because I was watching. I've seen a couple. I'm on like a weird side of booktok. Not a weird side, like just a different side of book talk than you are. And people. People were going through it. I'm like, I don't get it. And then I. Someone was going through their annotations and it was like such a cool experience for me to watch someone go through their annotations of a book. I'VE read because I was like, it, like, kind of just brought me back to reading the book, and I enjoyed it so much of, like, what. What stuck out to them and. And why that moment was important to them. So that was really cool.

[Kale]

So we're doing. Some of the girls in my book club are doing Sisterhood of the Traveling Book. And so each of us pick a book and we annotate it and then pass it to the next person. So Emily started the one that she picked, and she gave it to me next. And then when I'm done and I'm done annotating, she has a color for annotations. I have a color from. For annotations. And then when I mail it to one of the other girls, then they'll annotate. And so it's like Sisterhood of the Traveling Book. So that's sort of like the same vibe that you guys are talking about.

[Becky]

I feel like, can we pick a book to do that for? Because it was really cute. I saw on Tick Tock of, like, a. I've watched Tick Tock a lot. So it was like a group of girlfriends, and the one girl was a book reader and the rest weren't, and she had a real. A favorite book, and their group of friends secretly read the book and, like, annotated it from, like, all of them and gifted it to her for her birthday.

[Kale]

She was, like, so sweet.

[Becky]

No, I would.

[Kale]

I would stop because, like, it is for people who are not booked girlies or book boys. Like, for me is, like, it to me. You're going above and beyond as a friend because it is a commitment to read a book, even if it's just one book, versus, like, being, like, an overall book lover. Like, just taking out the time to read something that means something to your friend or your family member. Like, that would make me ball my eyes out.

[Becky]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kale]

Love that.

[Becky]

One day, like, I. I know that I rag on you to get reading 4th Ring, just because I think 4th Wing is a really great leeway into the fantasy world because it's a little bit more juvenile than, like, actual, like, porf. Like, dark, deeper fantasy. Like, there's still, like, it could be.

[Kale]

For anyone kind of deal.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like, there's smart. There's a little bit of, like, smut in it. Like, there's a lit. Like, it's. But one day I will get you to read Red Rising and that they will change my life because, like, that's.

[Kale]

Is it just one book?

[Becky]

No, it's. It's not a complete series yet. I've only read the first three books. So it was, it was written as a trilogy but there's three more books out. But there's an ending to the trilogy and it's like a positive good ending.

[Kale]

And so the two sets of three are interconnected but not like no, it could.

[Becky]

The story continues from the end of the third because like the first three did so well. Then he can like continued the story from there and like I hear it gets really like dark and like different and I like really love how the third book ended. So I'm just living and soaking in this world for the past year. So I haven't dove into the next three yet.

[Kale]

I love that.

[Becky]

So thanks for the tab. I just didn't understand it. I was like why do people like tab books? You know? Well was funny cuz it was actually I'm on like Red Rising Tik Tok which I'm kind of annoyed.

[Kale]

Stop saying it. Because if it starts popping up on my FYPs, I'm going to be like frustrated.

[Becky]

But it's kind of annoying because like I like you don't need to convince me to read it. Like I already love it and like it. That's all my Tik Tok is like I have a Red Rising shirt in my bag because like I like I'm so just like enthralled with it. Enthralled.

[Kale]

That was a good one. Enthralled.

[Becky]

Thank you.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But it was like a girl that she tabs her books and has each tab is a different character.

[Kale]

Oh, that's a little bit more in depth than I would go.

[Becky]

And it's so funny because like there's a character that dies really early in the book and like. But you think they're going to be a huge part of the book and you're just so caught off guard. And she was like. And she posted a TikTok of like why did I even make a tab for this? But someone commented like the tab is still important. Their memory is like impacts decisions throughout the series. So it's like still important to have.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But yeah.

[Kale]

Anyway, you should come back on.

[Becky]

On book club maybe once you read Fourth Wing. You know when you buy something on a whim and then suddenly it's part of your personality? That's me when I bought my clog slippers from Quint. I literally wear them everywhere around the house, out in public, to work in my garage. Literally. I do not take them off my feet. They're comfy and surprisingly they still somewhat look Polished after all the snow removal I've done in them. And honestly that's what I love about quints in general. Everything feels great quality without being loud. Their Mongolian cashmere sweaters are silky and soft. Their denim are perfectly cut. And don't get me started on their Italian wool coats. They are insane. What's wild is the quality. The stitching, the fabric, the fit. It all feels designer but you're not paying designer prices. Plus everything's made with premium material and ethical factories which just makes me feel even better about living in these slippers. Refresh your wardrobe with quint. Don't wait. Go to Quince.com Karma for free shipping on your order and 365 days returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q u I n c.com karma to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com karma. Did you know that digital cameras are back in?

[Kale]

Yes, I knew that digital cameras were back in and I love that and I think that's great. But I want a old, I want an old school film camera like for funsies. That's what I would like to get.

[Becky]

I have one. You can have it.

[Kale]

Oh, okay, bet. Thank you.

[Becky]

You're welcome.

[Kale]

Thanks.

[Becky]

It just sits on on my shelf as a decoration.

[Kale]

I was going to look on ebay but that works too. Yeah. Okay, cool. Thanks.

[Becky]

That's great. I actually have two.

[Kale]

Oh, so we could both have one.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

The reason I asked about the digital camera is cuz my nieces are in that realm of like first of all, two things. I'm so proud of the people my nieces are becoming. Like they're young adults. Falin's 22 Kyla, it will be 20 this year. They are both thriving. Right? Like Phelan is man, like she's living the life that I like live during that time and you're like party.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like I'm, I'm living through her. Her best friend lives above a bar in Rutgers and like like the bars like that bar knows that like she's just living life like yeah, like I'm so proud of her and she's a good person, you know, like I just.

[Kale]

Like that is my whole mental like I obviously got pregnant in high school and like didn't get to live that way. And so I feel like I over push my kids to like not worry about kids and marriage and relationships right now. I'm like Elliot doesn't need to focus on. I want him to go live his best life. Like I want him to Go do all the things. And I. If I'm being completely honest, I do feel like I don't want to be attacked. So please don't attack me. But I do feel like relationships can hold you back at that age a hundred percent. Because if they can't go with. To go somewhere they have something going on and then you don't want to go because they can't go, or like, you don't want to leave them or whatever. Like, I do feel like relationships can hinder.

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kale]

She should live her best life.

[Becky]

I think she'll, like, FaceTime me at, like, random parts of, like, her adventures. And I'm just like, man, this is so cool. I love that.

[Kale]

I hope my niece does that. I hope she calls me. She's like, sister, look.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's that. She probably will. You just have to build that relationship. But Kyla is in her. Not old enough to go out to the bars, like, but Kyla is thriving in college, has a great group of friends. Like, she's lost, like £70 or something. Like, something like, something like just having a good time. Yeah, Just like, not that way is correlated to, like. But she just, like, is so, like, she just looks like she's glowing.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But she's in her digital camera era and she was at the house and she was like. I was like, I'm pretty sure I have one. She's like, really? I was like, yeah. I think, like, I bought it for when I went to Vegas for New Year's because I didn't want to, like, lose my phone or anything. Yeah, this was. This was a long time ago. So I went and, and found it and she used it over New Year's Eve. I texted her. I was like, how did the digital camera work out? She sent me pictures.

[Kale]

Wait, so how are they? Are they, like, bluetoothing them to their phones? And then, like.

[Becky]

So there's adapters now that plug into your phone that you can plug the SD card right into the phone so the photos upload to your phone.

[Kale]

I saw that they were back and they're like, all. They're in the stores and stuff. But I didn't understand, like, what they're doing. This is not like they have MySpace or anything. So, like, what are they doing?

[Becky]

They put some on their Instagram.

[Kale]

Yeah. But, like, is there a difference between that? The quality in those versus I think.

[Becky]

It'S just like the act of. Of it.

[Kale]

Right.

[Becky]

Like, it's different. Yeah. Being, like, being more present. It's just like the act of.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Like, it's it separates it.

[Kale]

Because I definitely. I knew they were back, but I was just like, how is this gonna work?

[Becky]

Yeah, makes sense. I. But it was. We were talking about it, she sent the pictures, and then it made me reminisce of the last time I used the camera. So I was looking at the Vegas. My Vegas pictures and LA pictures, and it was wild. Like, what a different life it was like, back then.

[Kale]

I've lived a great life also, but not in the same way as, like, college years. Like, I didn't have that same experience, but I wouldn't have wanted some of my stuff to be documented by a camera or phone.

[Becky]

Yeah, I feel like I documented too much stuff, but it, like, brings back really great. Just memories.

[Kale]

I don't have any pictures, like, from my best friends in high school. Like, I don't have any of them.

[Becky]

Oh, I have, like, photo albums from 8th grade. In high school.

[Kale]

On your Facebook?

[Becky]

No. Like, physical albums in my storage.

[Kale]

Are you serious? I love that. I wish I would have done that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I wish I would have done that.

[Becky]

I'm like, a huge picture.

[Kale]

I'm.

[Becky]

I'm the gatekeeper of pictures. I'm the one that's always taking pictures. I'm the one that's always like, oh, let's remember this. Because half the. I, like, if I don't take a picture of it, I'm not gonna remember.

[Kale]

Oh, same. Yeah, no doubt.

[Becky]

No way. I have access to my Photo Bucket. Oh, really? Yeah.

[Kale]

Are you serious? I don't. I can't get into any of them. Why did you MySpace?

[Becky]

I don't know. MySpace isn't. No, it's not. It's like a music site.

[Alessandra]

Photo bucket.

[Becky]

No, Photo Bucket is. MySpace is like a. Isn't like, you can't access your MySpace or, like, the things that you had on it. I Wonder if, like, MySpace as a company has access to everyone's data, because how much money would they make if they brought MySpace back? Just to be able to, like, like, restore your profile, to take screenshots of, like, what it was last. I was on your top eight last. When MySpace went away, I used a.

[Kale]

Fake email, so I would have never been. I would never be able to reset my stuff.

[Becky]

But MySpace profiles were public, right?

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Becky]

So it would, like. I think you actually couldn't make it private. Yeah. Like, it was never private. So, like, you wouldn't.

[Kale]

I think eventually they had a private.

[Becky]

Situation to, like, access it. Yeah, yeah. Because you're not trying to access. Like, you would want to access everything but at baseline, just like access your. The like your profile layout. Like, what. So I know that I into it.

[Kale]

Like, I hid my top 8 after some time and it. It was so. So caddy, like having a top eight. And then it was like, if you hung out with one friend more often that two weeks of summer, you like, move them up and then it's like, I don't even.

[Becky]

I'm like.

[Kale]

Or like, if you have like, think.

[Becky]

Who was even on my.

[Kale]

No, but like, when you had an odd number group of friends. So say it was like three or five.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And then everybody has each other in a different place. Is like, you. It's up. Like, you can't like me, you and Alessandra. Like, if I have her as my number one and she doesn't have me as her number one, why am I going to put her number one? Because you might have me as your number one. But she's my number one. Yeah, so you're my number two. So up. Never bring that back. I don't want any parts of that.

[Becky]

But I just want to know who is on it.

[Kale]

Well, today's top eight is the pinned conversations, but I don't like to show people mine.

[Becky]

My pinned conversation. We talked about this already. Mine changed recently. So.

[Kale]

Yeah, we. We both texted about that. I just changed mine again.

[Becky]

Speaking of memory, I saw something and I want to ask you a question. If you lost your memory, who is the one person that you would ask, like, that would be responsible for reminding you of, like, yourself and your life and like, all the things. Think about it. Don't just answer it right off the top of your head because it's a little bit deeper than like, you think, right? Because, like, who knows you of, like, who knows all your relationships? Who knows who you were with?

[Kale]

Ask Elliot.

[Becky]

Yeah, but that's hard because, like, that, that limits it to a certain point of time and like, he doesn't really know, like, all the feelings of. Feels of, like, maybe now because you've, like, talked to him about it or you might know.

[Kale]

But so, like, one singular person. I don't honestly. I honestly don't think that I have one because you also came into my life right before I got pregnant with Lincoln.

[Becky]

Like, yeah, but it's even like, people now that no thing like, no, because.

[Kale]

They have a skewed perception of it. And I don't have relationships with people that I would like. Like one singular person that would be able to talk to me about all the things. Who would you. Who would you ask?

[Becky]

I would Definitely ask one of my sisters. I don't know which one because, like, that's helpful. I don't like, because they've just. Even from a distance, they've seen me experience life. And like, so they've have their own perception of what my feelings were during those times.

[Kale]

I read a book like this, like what you're describing. It's called Pictures of you by Emma Gray. It's one of my five star reads of 2025. So if that interests you, definitely check it out. It was really, really good. And I think it did get picked up for an ad. An adaptation. I don't trust any of my kids, dad, so I definitely wouldn't ask any of them. That is so probably Elliot. He's like the only one that I could really think of.

[Becky]

I'm trying to think.

[Kale]

Your sisters make sense to me. Yeah, that makes sense to me.

[Becky]

But I don't because even if, like, they weren't present for parts of my life, they still know me as a person to be able to like, fill in the gaps. Well.

[Kale]

And also they've been there for your.

[Becky]

Whole life for sure.

[Kale]

So, like, you could fill in gaps sort of from other people after you ask that one person. But I don't think I have a situation like that.

[Becky]

And I feel like. But I'm also trying if like my sister. Think about it the other way around too. Right. If my sisters chose me, like, I don't know if I would be a good. I don't know if I would be a good person.

[Kale]

You're the baby. So they. They have been in your life your entire life. You have not been a part of their entire life.

[Becky]

I think, Alex, I'd be a good person for.

[Kale]

Because you're only two years apart.

[Becky]

Yeah. But Kim, I feel like there's so many things about her that I don't know that I missed.

[Kale]

How old was she when you were born, Kim? Yeah.

[Becky]

12.

[Kale]

There's a 12 year age gap between you two.

[Becky]

Wow. Yeah.

[Kale]

Oh, that's.

[Becky]

Which is crazy because she's like my best friend.

[Kale]

Oh.

[Becky]

Also so. Kim is my oldest sister. I'm the youngest of five. She's my half sibling. Right.

[Kale]

Y' all don't talk about me.

[Becky]

No, not at all. But I say this because Bex's donor sibling was just born. And so it was such a wild mind for me. Sorry. My. Whatever. I not sorry of like, wow. Like Bex. And I'm not gonna say their names because I got for privacy it. But it's a girl and their daughter. Are as close like blood related as me and Kim are. And like I'm like that is so crazy to me that Bex has someone out there that's as related.

[Kale]

That's my sister and I too.

[Becky]

Yeah. So like like when she was born, like it all these emotions came over me. I'm like oh wow, that's really cool. Was not expecting to feel like all the feels but we 100% plan on them knowing each other. Full stories and but she looks exactly like the like the bio because they did reciprocal IVF too.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

And she looks exactly like the like the bio bio mom. So it's just like such a cool, cool experience of that I hopefully get together this year. You know how every January you swear this is your year, you'll finally start that business idea that's been living rent free in your brain? Yeah, same. But this year I'm actually doing it and I'm using Shopify. Shopify is the all in one platform that makes launching your business feel less like tech stuff and more like, okay, I'm doing this. Whether it's selling online or in person, Shopify gives you all the tools. Gorgeous templates, bill and AI to help with product descriptions and editing photos, and easy marketing tools for email and social. Millions of people have already made the leap, household names and total newbies alike. It's honestly wild how fast you can go from the idea to open for business. And if you're like me and love seeing your hard work pay off instantly. Just wait until you hear that first in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com Karma. Go to shopify.com Karma that's shopify.com Karma. Hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side. Karma chaos is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You know what feels very adult? Saving money and being responsible at the same time. I switched my car insurance to Progressive and it was like wait, why wasn't I doing this sooner? People throw around words like financial genius and monetary magician and while I won't go that far, I did save a chunk of money by just switching. Progressive offers discounts for things like paying in full and owning a home. Plus they've got a super reliable customer service which is clutch when you actually need it. It's one of those things where you're like, oh, I can save hundreds and still get great Coverage done. Visit progressive.com to see if you can save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[Kale]

2026 is going to be a good year.

[Becky]

I really believe that.

[Kale]

Yeah. And I do think, like, what you said last time was about just taking that stress and the weight off your shoulders about, like, getting pregnant sort of, like, broadens the horizons a little bit. So. Yeah, love that.

[Becky]

I think it just opened door for. For me so much, like, because adding a kid in. When we've talked about this, like, adding a kid into your life just disrupts your world so much.

[Kale]

It flips it upside down in ways that I don't think that you could prepare for. And I actually talked about you yesterday. I recorded a solo episode for Barely Famous, and I was talking about something. I don't really remember how it came up, but I. Oh, it was, like, about, like, family and, like, what would you tell younger Kale and, like, my kids and things like that. And I literally said, like, you could have the most supportive partner. I said, becky has the most supportive partner. And having a child completely flip their world upside down. And she's still struggling. So imagine what it would be like to have a child with someone who you don't get along with. You hate their guts, or you're a single mom.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Like, you can have the most supportive partner in the world, and it is still the most. The hardest thing you'll ever have to do.

[Becky]

100%, hands down. Yeah. And so with, like, with that, my world is still just flipped upside down. So the idea of, like, just adding more complexities into just, like, released me. Like, I just feel so. I feel excited. I feel like I have such, like, a positive outlook on this year now when, like, this whole past couple of months, I'm like. Like, I've been cursing a lot lately. Sorry. I have just had this weight of just, like, damn, I'm gonna have to get pregnant. And then this year is just ruined, you know?

[Kale]

Yeah, I get that.

[Becky]

But now we're here. We're back, baby.

[Kale]

I feel like I've been pregnant for, like, 16 years, so.

[Becky]

I know. And the, like, we're coming up on, like, we were not there yet, but we're coming up on the longest you've been not pregnant besides Elliot.

[Kale]

I think the longest is four years.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So, like, so the twins just turned two, so.

[Becky]

Yeah. Not coming up on, but, like, that time clock is gonna get shorter and shorter, which is crazy.

[Kale]

What a weird life. Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's weird. It's weird having a kid and then I think about your kids. Obviously, all the Time like, they're engraved mind. But anytime I think about Bex's age, it's. I'm like. And how fast he's growing. I'm like, imagine how like Kale's kids, like, they're just like, constantly just getting older too.

[Kale]

The twins are literally like, I. It's so weird because it feels like just yesterday.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Not gonna cry today. I don't feel like crying today.

[Becky]

I don't feel like crying either. But you never know.

[Kale]

You never know. You truly know.

[Becky]

By the time this comes out, hopefully my crying rap sheet has come out.

[Kale]

I will thank God, because, like, people are asking and people are tired of waiting.

[Becky]

I'm not doing it this year, but I will tell you that I cried 455 times. Oh, my God. I just remembered because of one of the last 455 times. That's how many times I cried last year. We'll get a wrapped up soon. Did you see. You probably haven't. Did you see the movie Eternity?

[Kale]

Never even heard of it.

[Becky]

Okay, so you should watch it. It is if. If I want to talk about it so bad, but it'll spoil it, so you have to watch it.

[Kale]

Where is it at? Where can I watch?

[Becky]

Amazon? It's the new movie with Dakota. Olsen. Is it Dakota? Is her name Dakota? The Olsen twin sister? The one that's in Marvel movies.

[Kale]

There's this Olsen sister in Marvel movies.

[Alessandra]

There's a younger Olsen.

[Kale]

Elizabeth.

[Becky]

Elizabeth Olsen. Why did I say. Anyway, it's with her, Miles Teller and this other guy. The concept of the movie, this doesn't give anything away, is that she dies. And when she dies, you get put. You get sent to this terminal. And in that terminal you have to pick where you're going to spend eternity. And it's like a little. It's like cheesy. It's not. The movie's cheesy. Like the terminal is cheesy of like. It is set up like a trade show of people trying to sell eternities. So, like, spend eternity and like a man free eternity. So it's a funny movie. But like the concept, like, it's. It's. But there's emotional aspects of it. And so when she gets there, she's met by her husband and her first husband and her second, like her first.

[Kale]

Husband who died, picked the same eternity.

[Becky]

No. So you, like, once you pick an eternity, you cannot change your decision. So they're both there waiting for her to get there. So that because they're both expecting for them to pick an eternity together, okay, so.

[Kale]

But, like, that leads to the conversation that we've had before where it's like, would you be married? Would you be buried next to your first wife or your second wife? If you are married and divorced and you fall in love again, are you gonna be buried next to both of them? Like, what are you doing?

[Becky]

I.

[Kale]

Same concept.

[Becky]

It is similar concept. I think it's situational. Like, why. Why are you in the first one? Like, how long were you guys together? Like, what.

[Kale]

Like, all the things I'm asking you, though, if.

[Becky]

What would I do? Like, if Leah died right now, I would be buried next to her. And what if I got remarried? I'd hope my future partner would understand. To be buried with us.

[Kale]

You can't compete with the dead. And I think that's.

[Becky]

I. Yeah, but I know people.

[Kale]

Certain people would have a really hard time with that. I don't think that would be for everybody. I. I would understand that. I would also. Not. Like, some people are more, like, flexible, like, see all perspectives, but it's also healthy relationships.

[Becky]

I. The. For one of the first people I've had on for the haters, she lost her fiance of 10 years. And the key component to her finding love again was him loving him as well. Like, he was never. Like, he was never lost. Like, he allowed her. Like, he didn't expect her to lose the love for him. Like, he also grew to love him too. Like, how do you. How do you not. For someone that is lost in a way of, like, happiness.

[Kale]

Right. It's hard. Yeah, I hear you. But I also could see for the second person that comes along, it's hard because not for everyone. It's like, you're only here because the first one died. And it's like, life. Like, if that was me, I'd be like, I would never be able to compete with that person. Like, not that. Not that it's a competition, but it would feel like. Because also, when you die, I think a lot of times you, like, focus on the good and you forget the bad. And so, like, you're just romanticizing, fantasizing about this person, grieving this person forever. And now I'm here, and it's like, I. That would be really challenging.

[Becky]

Watch the movie. But that's the concept. It's like, she's. Like, she was only married to him for a couple years, so it. And it's. So she's battling the thought of, like, well, I never got a life with him. But then her other husband is a life that she was married to for 50 years. Made a. Like, had a family with. I. I was bawling at the end of this movie.

[Kale]

That's.

[Becky]

But it's a good. It's a good movie. It's like, cheesy. It's like the comedy throughout. It is good.

[Kale]

Okay, I'll watch it.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Yeah. I'll circle back next time we record, because I wanna.

[Becky]

And then we'll have to put a trigger warning because I, like, want to talk about it in detail.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Almost. I should. I wonder if it was a book. I feel like it would have been such a good book.

[Kale]

It probably is one.

[Becky]

Yeah. Any good movies have you watched?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

Yeah, me neither. But besides that one, like, I don't really watch movies too much. Do you watch Stranger Things?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

Okay, cool. Let me get to my list.

[Kale]

I'm just on a floating rock, you know what I mean? Do you have anything else on your list? Because I kind of didn't bring anything to the table.

[Becky]

Yeah, I have a lot of things on my list.

[Kale]

Thank God.

[Becky]

One thing I do like. You know, I've been thinking about sitting here. We need to spend more time together. Because.

[Kale]

When we're getting all choked up, I know you miss me.

[Becky]

No. We just inhaled Dave's hot chicken. When we go long times apart, I think you forget that I'm your friend.

[Kale]

No, I don't.

[Becky]

No, not like. Like, I think you. You know, subconsciously that I'm your friend, but, like, it's the object permanent. I think that you forget that, like, I'm your, Like, your actual friend. You know what the. Are you, like, the Ms. FaceTime calls. The.

[Kale]

Not like I don't have keeping me.

[Becky]

Updated in your life.

[Kale]

It's not that I. I don't have the capacity to be on phone calls and FaceTimes at this point.

[Becky]

Kale, shut up. Because when you were picking up my FaceTime, just calling to say hi, I probably have something stupid to tell you. And then I hang up.

[Kale]

True. But also, sometimes I don't see them. Like, I see them once. I've missed it. So it's like, please give me some grace. I am. I'm trying.

[Becky]

I know I'm. I know. It's not like I'm like, I'm not going to be friends with you anymore, but I do think that you.

[Kale]

I invited you to Lake Tahoe and the first thing you said was no.

[Becky]

And then I changed my mind.

[Kale]

So it's like, I can try, but, like, if you're not receptive, not.

[Becky]

Dude, do not even pull that. I'm just saying, I think you forget that I'm your friend.

[Kale]

Well, I love you and I'm glad you're my friend.

[Becky]

I love you too. So that's what I have to say there. Let me look at my list. Have you seen. Okay. You know how, like, sometimes it's really nice to find just light hearted comedy?

[Kale]

Yeah. I love that.

[Becky]

I found these guys on Tik Tok who pretend to look at people's phones on the subway. And it is like the best for, like, is such like a harmless prank. Like, it's these a bunch of dudes. Like, so someone will be sitting there on their phone like this, and then it's like, like a guy with a microscope, a guy with a telescope, and they're like leaning over to look at the phone and the person is just like, what is going on? And there's so many of them. It's so good. You should have. You've never seen that?

[Kale]

No, I've never heard of.

[Becky]

You should look them up. It's. Well, I'll send it to you the next time. January me is like new year, new habits. But then actual me is like, do I even have time to cook? No. That's why I love Tempo. It gives me fresh chef created, dietitian approved meals that are ready in just two minutes. These aren't frozen, sad desk lunches. I'm talking legit meals, protein packed, calorie conscious, even GLP1 balance, if that's your thing. And they taste so good. My favorite last week was the sesame chicken bowl. I literally scraped the tray clean. They dropped 20 new recipes every week. So I never get bored. And it actually helps me stay consistent without giving up my entire evening to the kitchen. Even Maria Sharapova is a fan. So I'm basically in elite athlete territory now, Right. For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempo Meals.com Karma. That's Tempo Meals.com Karma for 60% off your first box. Tempo Meals.com/Karma. Rules and restrictions may apply. What are your vibes on? Very outdated. I know we haven't recorded in a while. You know when I saw the whole Alex or you know, the whole Alex Earl thing that happened, like her and Braxton breaking up. Yeah, she had posted like a thing about how she chose herself and her career. Basically. I saw that and, like, I think that was such a powerful thing as, like a female for people to be able to see that it's like, possible and, like, to be selfish, especially at that age of like, this is where I see my career going. And it's not that I don't love you, but like, this isn't a part, like a part of that. And I thought it was really cool.

[Kale]

I did think that was really cool because I think so often we all. We need like a reason or it feels like we need a reason, but like, you can grow apart or see yourself growing in a different journey. She was talking about in that video too, like potentially moving to LA and Braxton being on the east coast and her being on the west coast and at this point in both of their careers, like, maybe a long distance relationship wouldn't have worked out. And so I do feel like normalizing loving someone and it not working out, I think is really good for younger generations too. Because how many of us, especially as millennials, have we watched this whole like, we're gonna stay together or stay married until the kids turn 18 kind of thing and it's like, that is not beneficial. And I. That actually infuriates me.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

It's like, obviously it's not my life. I don't know what's best for your family, but like, if I would have had a good example of like my mom knowing her worth, I feel like I would have a very different outcome on like, in my relationships or like someone to look up to that is literally like, you do not. Like you can love someone and grow apart and like end it amicably and keep it moving. And I thought that was really cool that she posted about it, but yesterday I didn't get to see the whole tik tok. I did. What is it called? Like, you bookmark it Because I guess there was somebody saying that like, Braxton Barrios wasn't who we thought he was. Like, he wasn't the great. I didn't get to watch the whole thing cuz I didn't have yesterday I literally recorded so much that I just wasn't on my phone. So I just like flagged it to go back to what. What were they saying about him?

[Becky]

I think she was. She's like a bottle service girl or something. She works in the clubs or.

[Kale]

It wasn't related to the relationship with Alex.

[Becky]

No. Well, yeah, she was just saying that bottle service girls talk and like, he wasn't innocent. Like he like, would.

[Kale]

Would entertain that if he. If Braxton cheated on Alex Earl, babe.

[Alessandra]

Beyonce's got cheated on. Halle Berry got cheated on in her prime. Has nothing.

[Becky]

You got cheated on.

[Alessandra]

It has nothing do.

[Kale]

To.

[Alessandra]

To do with women cheating has nothing to do.

[Kale]

No, I know, it doesn't have anything to do with women, but what I'm saying is, like, these men really have audacity. Like, what do you mean you're cheating on Beyonce? And what do you mean you're cheating on Alex Earl? Like, what the do you mean, what the are you doing? You're not gonna get better than her. So, like, what are you doing?

[Becky]

Just leave someone.

[Kale]

It doesn't make sense to me.

[Becky]

Why.

[Kale]

Why even.

[Becky]

Like, why even do that? You know?

[Kale]

Doesn't make sense.

[Becky]

Did you know?

[Kale]

I probably don't know.

[Becky]

Did you. Why are you looking at me like that?

[Kale]

Because I never know what's gonna come out of your mouth, and I never know. Usually, I don't know.

[Becky]

Did you know that cats can get impregnated by multiple male cats at the same time?

[Kale]

Yes. And also, so can humans. You can have fraternal twins with two different dads.

[Becky]

I understand. But that's not very common. Cats get pregnant all the time by multiple men. That's crazy.

[Kale]

By most multiple male cats.

[Becky]

Like, I. I had never known that.

[Kale]

You know what that's tracking for me? Because I've seen some really interesting kitten litters, and you're just, like, how different dads. All of, like, these three cats look so similar. They could be triplets. And then these two do not even align with these three. Or the mom.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So that actually tracks.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Interesting.

[Becky]

Fun fact. Shout out my brothers.

[Kale]

Why. Why did you bring that up here today?

[Becky]

It was on my list.

[Kale]

Why?

[Becky]

Because I thought that was fascinating. Because I never knew that.

[Kale]

Karma and Chaos University, everyone.

[Becky]

So with the weather change, I, you.

[Kale]

Know, a weatherman was pitched to be on Barely famous podcast, and I was just wondering, like, what. What is the purpose of that?

[Becky]

Like, you should give them a chance.

[Kale]

You could have them on for the haters here.

[Becky]

I'm out.

[Kale]

Yeah, I think you should.

[Becky]

Okay. Speaking up for the haters. I have been told I'm doing 2026 is going to be the year for. For the haters.

[Kale]

Yes, it is.

[Becky]

I have been told that I need to be a little bit more selective with my episodes. So everyone that is listening that. Okay, so here's the thing. My issue is that I am an empath. And the idea of.

[Kale]

Am I?

[Becky]

No, the idea. The idea of telling someone that their story isn't good enough to be, like, featured. Like. Like, I'd rather just not do the podcast to have to have that conversation. So I found happy medium of it. I've been told it's not a good use of my time but my time, I'm willing to give. What I'm gonna do is continue to record with everyone. And then, and then I will release all episodes on YouTube.

[Kale]

Love.

[Becky]

So that all, like, love they are there. Like, they still get the experience of recording with me their story being heard. There is somewhere that like, they can link and that. Or that they can share their story.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

And then I'll just pick those, like, certain, certain ones to feature on the podcast itself based on the not. And I don't want to say the quality of the story, it's the quality of the interview. The interview, right. Because, like, it matters, like someone being able to tell their story, like it really matters. And I need to be able to get to the next level. I need to be able to like, focus on that more. But it finds like a happy medium for me that I can still give myself to people and give them the opportunity to have their story heard at some capacity. So that's what I've decided.

[Kale]

I yesterday when I was recording all the interviews and then I had another recording day, like that sort of going off of what you're saying. It's not necessarily the quality of the interviews, but sometimes people come off as almost more media trained. Yesterday I had someone who is not, like, nationally known, he's locally known. The way that he told his story so concisely and knew exactly what points to hit on and like, had this like, almost media trained, like, vibe. I don't know how to explain it. I was blown away. And I was like, it really sucks because I've noticed and I think for the haters also might notice. Like, you might notice this for, for the haters is like. And people have said it to me. They're like, if we don't recognize the name, we don't listen to that episode. And it's frustrating because it's like, just because they're not well known doesn't mean that they don't have a really cool story to tell for sure. And so I was just like, I want everyone to listen to this one episode because he was so well spoken. And then I had someone else on the podcast that I really had high hopes for and. And it was butchered. And I was just like, I actually don't know what to do with this. Like, I don't think that I can air it, but, like, I spent the money to like film it. I have to air it.

[Becky]

I couldn't agree more. So actually, Danny also said something to me. She's like, you can't give everyone your time. Of recording. And I'm like, yeah, but some people surprise me.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And like, I would hate to tell some. Like some people pre interview awful. And then when we go and record the full episode, they like completely, completely blow it out of the park. And I'm like, whoa. Like, that interview was great. Didn't expect that. And so like, I don't want to like remove the opportunity from that happening.

[Kale]

I was concerned based on past experiences of putting the time and effort into episodes and the person I had high hopes for. And I was like, this is not good. That's happened several times. It's not just like one person.

[Becky]

So if you're listening, give for the haters a shot period. There was something. Oh, also I want to. I want to be more intentional with using my network to get at least one guest on a month that will help draw awareness.

[Kale]

What do you mean your network?

[Becky]

Like, asking you to come on.

[Kale]

Oh, I. I would love to do an episode with you because there's a lot of stuff like that I wrote about in Pride over Pity that, you know, the following that I have now is not what I had in 2014 when I released that book. And yes, some people have heard it on my podcast, but I think people also sometimes forget what was in the book. 100 really up stuff in there. So I think that it would be cool to like re talk about it. But I would like to plan that with the re release of that book because I'm like reworking it and re releasing it. I think it'll be a part of your journey.

[Becky]

Like your media circuit. Yeah, yeah, that would be fun. But like, people like you, like Ty and Kate. Ty would definitely come on. I. I have friends that like are kind of influencers. The thing reason obviously I avoided that because like that's not the point of. For the haters. The point is like to let everyday people have their story heard because they're just as valuable. But to get to the next level, it needs to bring more awareness. But not. I'm not replacing everyone, but like once in a while, just dropping episodes with people that do have a little bit of a. Yeah.

[Kale]

Because it's hard.

[Becky]

Yeah. So 2026 is a year for the haters.

[Kale]

Love that. I'm glad. I'm happy for you.

[Becky]

I tried climbing on my roof after a snowstorm.

[Kale]

I loved that video. Can you please post it online? I think that we need to share it with the class because you wearing shorts on the roof in the middle of a snowstorm and then dangling off was truly a great end to my 2025.

[Becky]

I have fallen more on in my life on ice this winter than I have, I think, collectively, in my 35 years. Like, I've been hitting the floor hard. Like, it's been a brutal winter for me and my knees and my shoulders.

[Kale]

I don't mean to brag or anything, but, like, I don't really fall.

[Alessandra]

I don't need to brag anything, but I don't.

[Becky]

Your. Your life kicks you down enough. They're like, let's not figure it.

[Kale]

I'm on my ass. But literally and physically, mostly I'm good.

[Becky]

Let's not bring the physical pain on top of the emotional damage.

[Kale]

That's. I would agree. Yeah. So it's like your life is hitting you physically. Life is hitting me, like, figuratively. So I feel like it's a good balance, you know, it's like karma and chaos.

[Becky]

I have a confession. Before Rocket Money, my budgeting system was literally just a vibe. And by vibes, I mean chaos. And I had no idea how many subscriptions I was paying for or how often I was getting hit with surprise bills. Rocket Money changed that. It's this personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, track your spending, lower your bills, and actually grow your savings. I had three. Three streaming services I didn't even remember signing up for a few taps and boom, gone. It even shows you your whole financial picture in one dashboard. Checking, saving loans, investments. I don't know who I am now, but she's organized. If you've ever looked at your bank statements and thought, what is this charge? Same. Rocket Money is a friend who's like, girl, you don't need this. Let me handle it. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Karma that's RocketMoney.com Karma RocketMoney.com Karma. Yeah, I mean, I get up quick, though. I ain't no little. I get up quick because I'm more embarrassed than anything.

[Kale]

I'm like, oh, yeah. You're like, back up.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

One time did I tell you this story when, like, I came back from. I told you this. I, like, came back from the guidance counselor's office in eighth grade, seventh grade or eighth grade, and I'm crying. I don't remember what it was for. And I go to sit in my crib into my seat, and my seat wasn't there anymore, and I just fell on my ass. And I just laid there and looked up at the ceiling, and I'm just crying, you know, like, More embarrassment than anything. Yeah. And then, like, at that point, once I fell, it was just, like, reflecting, you know, Like, I'm already down. It's like, don't rush to get up. They already saw you fall.

[Becky]

Like, I'm. Why do you think you've told me that before?

[Kale]

I don't know.

[Becky]

Have you ever said that out loud?

[Kale]

I don't know. Okay. I have no idea. But it was just like. You want me to demonstrate?

[Becky]

Yeah. Do it on this.

[Kale]

Okay. So, like, literally, I entered from this side of the room. Okay. So it was like this. Okay. So I'm entering the classroom from this way, and this is sort of like where my desk was. And so then my chair, like, must have, like, knocked back. And so I, like, go to sit. And then I fell, and I just sort of did this pan to her on the ground, and I just reflected, what did you think about how embarrassed I was? Is just kind of like, where do.

[Alessandra]

I go from here?

[Kale]

There's nowhere. And, like, nobody asked me if I was okay.

[Becky]

You mean nobody asked you. Are we in therapy right now?

[Alessandra]

If we are, get back on the mic.

[Kale]

I had a crush on the kid that sat behind me, and he didn't ask me if I was okay.

[Becky]

Did that ruin your crush?

[Kale]

Yeah, it did, because I was like, wow. Like, we can't. I'm never going to be with you.

[Becky]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Thanks.

[Kale]

What I learned from that was that no one's coming to save you.

[Becky]

You're only there to save yourself. That was me on the roof, just.

[Kale]

Dangling from the pergola.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You're like, literally.

[Becky]

Well, if you guys are wondering why I was on the roof, it was because Christmas was coming. Winter. Love making fires.

[Kale]

I thought you were gonna say love making.

[Becky]

No, no, I. Great. I literally just had a kid. Fires. Love making fires.

[Kale]

Love making fires.

[Becky]

And so when it's not fire season, you close the chimney so nothing goes down. So I had to. I was like, damn, I need to get the chimney opening. Chimney, chimney.

[Kale]

It's not a chimney.

[Becky]

It's a chimney chimney. And so there was just a snowstorm, so I climbed up the roof. I get there, it was already uncovered. Didn't even have to go up. And I go to come back down, and it was so slippery, and I was like, oh, I'm falling. I'm going to fly off. So I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, leah's sleeping. I was like, I. How do I get down without, like, minimal damage? And so I climbed across my roof over to where the pergola is.

[Kale]

Where was your phone?

[Becky]

Not on me.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

I had shorts on.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I don't know. I. So I climbed over to where the pergola was, and. And then I like monkey swing. Like monkey bar swing down. But when I went down, my feet didn't catch and they, like, slipped up. If my hands. If I didn't have a good grip. I was really proud of that. My hands kept grip.

[Kale]

It was kind of like me on the horse.

[Becky]

Exactly.

[Kale]

Just like you hold on for dear.

[Becky]

Exactly.

[Kale]

Like, you know shit's about to go down if you let go.

[Becky]

Exactly.

[Kale]

I hear you.

[Becky]

And so I, like, swung down, came down. I was like, wow, that could have been really bad.

[Kale]

So. I'm so glad that you made it.

[Becky]

I'm glad you don't.

[Kale]

You didn't get concussed.

[Becky]

Thank you.

[Kale]

I might have been after I fell out of the chair, but no one asked.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So. Well, I can relate.

[Becky]

Yeah. Leah had a mental breakdown the other day.

[Kale]

Oh, good. Okay.

[Becky]

And no, it wasn't like a one. Like, I can talk about it. It was. It's funny now.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

She dropped her phone in the sink and it turned off. And so it was actually Christmas Eve.

[Kale]

Oh.

[Becky]

And then the next day, she had worked, and on Christmas Day, she worked. And then so Friday came, and we're. And so she was stressed. She didn't have a phone or she needs her, like, driving to work. She uses her phone at work. So, like, there was just a lot. It was a pretty stressful moment. So Friday, we went into Stroudsburg to go to T Mobile, and we're driving there. We get there, she goes inside, she comes out, and she's hysterically crying. And I'm like, what's wrong? I'm like, what's wrong? She's like, I don't have my. My license, and they need your license to do anything. And I feel so bad. She's, like, really upset. And I'm just sitting there eating Arby's because, like, I went to the Arby's. I love Arby's. I keep.

[Kale]

I love Arby's.

[Becky]

I was, like, happy, like, just eating my curly fries. She's sobbing. She's like, let's just go to Walmart. Well, I'll just come back tomorrow. And then I'm like, okay. So I pull over to Walmart. She's like, getting more upset. I'm like, leah, let's just go home. Let's get your license. We'll come back. She's like, no, the baby I'm like, he's fine. Like, he'll nap. And so we go home, we come back, we're pulling in and her phone turned on.

[Kale]

It dried out.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

She could have put it in rice.

[Becky]

Yeah, well, she didn't.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Yeah. And so crisis not averted because she already went through the ringer of it. But it was like.

[Kale]

So did she get a new phone or. She just kept going.

[Becky]

She just. It worked.

[Kale]

Honestly, nobody talks about how annoying it is to start a new phone. I don't care if you want the newest model. Yeah. And may I just feel this way because I never transferred anything until this year when I got this phone. I hate setting up a new phone. I don't want a new phone. I don't like a new phone. I don't want to set up the passwords on a new phone. I don't want to do it.

[Becky]

My phone just made me reset my password. It said I couldn't use my password anymore.

[Kale]

No, but it's like all the apps that you have to log into cuz some of them, they'll be automatic login if you transfer. But up until this year, I deleted every. Like I always start over with a new icloud and everything. Rebecca was the one that convinced me not to do that this time. Yeah. And I still diabolical hated it because I still had to log into so many apps. And then the credit card thing, that.

[Becky]

Lace keeping your hands warm. Cuz I see you keep.

[Kale]

No, it's just a stem.

[Becky]

Huh?

[Kale]

It's just a stem.

[Becky]

Oh, okay, cool. Okay, let me see. Oh, I saw a tik tok. I got to stop saying that because that I don't spend all my time on tech. Tick tock. I do listen to audiobooks a lot. I'm like looking at the camera. Yeah. Like I don't just sit on TikTok. It was someone ranting about how they weren't going to a wedding because the people made it child free.

[Kale]

Oh, that's not what I saw.

[Becky]

And be as a new parent like, and as a wedding goer and as a wedding haver. Why would anyone assume that a wedding is child?

[Kale]

When I got married with. With Javi, I had a child free wedding and it was the only two kids were there that were there and they left early to go back to the hotel was Elliot and then my niece at the time.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I don't. It's. And even if I were to get married today, it would be child free. I. I understand that like people have kids in their. In Their families. But like, why are you assuming that, like, kids are like a breastfeeding baby is a different story. Like if you're breastfeeding a child, feel free. Like, that's a completely.

[Becky]

Like, first of all, bring them to the ceremony because like, what if they cry?

[Kale]

That would be really upsetting to me.

[Becky]

Yeah. And like, if you choose to have a wedding with children, like, that's. Whatever, that's your decision. But like, don't assume, like, you should just assume that weddings are child free.

[Kale]

But like, for. Why do people get upset about stuff like that?

[Becky]

They were so upset, they're like, then we can't come. And it's like, okay, then don't come. Yeah, sorry.

[Kale]

But also, you don't have anyone. You can leave with the baby or with the children that, like, I don't.

[Becky]

Know, it's just like going on a rant. I'm like, no.

[Kale]

Okay. But on the flip side of that, and I. It's a tick tock that I thought you were gonna say was, if your partner is not invited somewhere but you are, will you go without them? Yes or no?

[Becky]

It depends on the severity of what the thing is. So I was invited to a wedding and Leah wasn't and I. That felt really weird to me.

[Kale]

Y' all are married. I'm not talking about boyfriend, girlfriend. I'm talking about like I'll say five year plus relationships or married. If my partner's not invited, I'm not going. Yeah, if it's like, no offense, Ike, but like, if I got invited today to something and they have no idea that we're even together.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's different.

[Kale]

And I might explain like when we went to Matt's. Yeah, like before when I was invited, I think me and him just got together. So then once we were together and he moved to Delaware and stuff like that, I texted him and he. Or he texted me and asked me if was I still coming and I said yes, can I come too? Because we're together now. He's like, yeah, I don't care. So like, for me, I'm not. If you. If you. If I'm good enough for you to invite, then my partner should be for sure.

[Becky]

Yep. I feel like plus one, if like you have a part, especially a long term partner, like, it should be just assumed that they're invited.

[Kale]

So wait, someone invited you to a wedding?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

But not Leah?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

That's really weird.

[Becky]

Yeah. They've met Leah.

[Kale]

That's crazy.

[Becky]

Crazy.

[Kale]

Oh, they've met her and they didn't know? Nope. Actually, I'm not even friends with them anymore.

[Becky]

She said follow.

[Kale]

No, like, in real life, if that was me, I would not be friends with them anymore after that. That's so disrespectful to me. And it's like, here's the thing. And, like, Ike and I have had these conversations so often. Like, I don't want beef with the other person's, like, people do you know what I mean? Like, I would not want to ruffle feathers or, like, create tension between you and Leah or, like, I don't know. Like, it just. That feels really weird to me.

[Becky]

I go through that in my personal life as, like, friends date other people and, like, and all of the things. And it is such, like, just an unfortunate. And that's why I'm so thankful for Amanda, like, Spencer's wife, because, like, because of our foundation and our friendship that we have formed, it's allowed me to have a closer relationship with Spencer. And if I didn't have that with Amanda, I, like, I just know that I wouldn't have what I have with Spencer. And, like, being best friends with your best friend's partner is, like, the best thing that could happen.

[Kale]

Like, meaning you're best friends with both of them.

[Becky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kale]

No, I love that. I feel like when your friends love your partner, it makes everything so much more seamless.

[Becky]

Yeah. So much.

[Kale]

Because then other, like, if everyone hates your partner or your wife or your husband or whatever, and you go to events and stuff, you're like, don't want them there.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And it's like, I don't want to be the topic of conversation when I leave the room is like, you're talking about the fact that I brought my partner. Like, please don't.

[Becky]

Yeah. Well, good. Goodbye, everyone.

[Kale]

That's not a way to exit.

[Becky]

I. I have to go. I'm off work, so don't think. But I do have to jump on one call for something, so love you guys. Bye. Alessandra stepping in for. Is it karma? Is it chaos? Make sure if you love me to go and subscribe to for the haters.

[Kale]

Yeah, please. Thank you.

[Becky]

Run it up. All right. Love you guys.

[Kale]

All right, we. Alessandra is filling in for Becky, as you just heard. So we're gonna do. Is it karma or is it chaos? Unfortunately, Becky's not here. It says, hi, Kayla and Becky. Please keep us. Please keep me anonymous. I have a close friend I've been friends with for over 10 years. We've been through everything together. Breakups, moves, kids, the whole thing. Lately, Though every single time something good happens to me, it somehow turns into her. I don't know what that means. I got a promotion. She immediately starts venting about how underpaid she is. I bought a house. She spends her whole, the whole dinner talking about how she'll probably never own one. I announced I'm pregnant. She cried, but not happy tears. The final straw was when she told me I should stop posting wins on social media because it's triggering for her. Meanwhile, she posts non stop about her struggles and expects endless. Meanwhile, she posts non stop about her struggles and expects endless support. I pulled back and stopped sharing details about my life. Now she's saying I've changed and that I'm not being a supportive friend anymore. So tell me, is this karma for outgrowing a friendship or is this friendship just pure chaos? Fucking chaos, that is. I don't want to be around someone like that. Like, it's funny if you, like, make a joke about it. It's like, I just bought a house and it's like, I am not responsible to ever buy a house. But I'm so happy for you. Like, that's like one thing. But like, if you're constantly the negative one every single time someone has a milestone. No, that you need to throw that relationship away.

[Alessandra]

I think we really have a really big problem in, like, I don't know, our friendships where people don't want to see each other win for some reason. Like, I saw a girl coming on TikTok and she was like, if your friend is trying to be an influencer and you don't actively like, hype them up in the comments and like, their posts, like, you know, we, we see it. You see it. When you go on, you're actively ignoring it. You're a fudgeing weirdo.

[Kale]

You're a hater.

[Alessandra]

You're a fudgeing weirdo. And you know, there's a lot of undercover hater friendships. And I can get the fuck away from me. Yeah, like, get away. I don't understand that. I want my friends to do whatever the fuck they want.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Like, I want you to succeed and I want you to excel because having other people around me like that propels me to it. Like, makes me want to thrive and like grow and hustle and things like that. I can't understand it.

[Kale]

No, I don't.

[Alessandra]

All the time.

[Kale]

I actually, I have a ton of friends, like, on my posts and stuff that I'm like, I see you not liking my stuff. I see you not commenting on my stuff.

[Alessandra]

Like, I know actively like you. You're going out of your way not.

[Kale]

To like it because it's coming up on your feed. And if, if you don't want to like it and you don't want to see it actually unfollow me. It's actually that brings me to my next point, is like, I recently saw that someone that I have followed on social media for years, I like, noticed that she kept coming up on my for you page and I was like, what the heck? So I click on it and it says follow. So she unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and I was a little butt hurt. But I also was like, you know what? Like, the reflection of it for me was like, okay, if I'm toxic for you, if I don't align with what you want for yourself, if you don't like my content, like, that's okay. You don't have to. And I'm not mad at her and I still like her stuff when it comes up. We don't follow each other anymore, but I'm still gonna like it because I support you and whether you like me or not, that's fine. But like, we can just normalize not following each other like that. If you just organically come up on my feed, I can still like your content, but you don't have to follow me for that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm still going to support you from a distance.

[Alessandra]

And like, not liking someone is not beef. Like, you're allowed.

[Kale]

Unfollowing me is not beef.

[Alessandra]

You're allowed to just like, not vibe with somebody. Like, do you know what I mean? And in fact, if you don't like me, unfollow me right now.

[Kale]

Now.

[Alessandra]

Because I don't want that energy, Like, I don't want that energy directed towards me. If I come up on your for you page or your Instagram feed and you're annoyed or like that.

[Kale]

She's so annoying. I can't un.

[Alessandra]

Follow.

[Kale]

Yeah, no, I, I agree. I actually saw a tick tock. What was it yesterday or today? What did you just say?

[Becky]

If.

[Alessandra]

If you don't like me and I.

[Kale]

Come up on your feet. Oh, she said, I think it was tick tock. It was on social media somewhere. She was like, I was. Went through my followers list and was really thinking about would I say hi to this person in public if I would not say hi to this person at a local coffee shop or at Target or at the mall. I don't need to follow them on social media. And we're talking about people that you know in real life.

[Alessandra]

Like, people who don't use social media as a job or like, yeah, yeah.

[Kale]

It'S just people in general. And it's so funny that she. I saw that after I mass unfollowed people on Tick Tock. Like, I went down my list and it was like, I sort of. Of unfollowed by like a thousand people. And it came right off of that. And so she was like, if I wouldn't say hi to this person in public, why am I. Why are we doing this? Like, we don't have to put our energy into this. And also, like, again, I cannot express this enough is like, I don't care if you do not follow me on Tick Tock or Instagram. I don't care. And if I see you and you want to say hi, you can still say hi. I'm not gonna be like, oh, you'll say hi to me in public, but not on socials. I don't care. But don't be the opposite. Don't be my friend in person and. Or don't be my. Don't be my friend on social media and then not say hi in person. But also, like, if you are my close friend and you're not commenting on my stuff, just unfollow me. We don't have to. Like, if you don't like me, unfollow me.

[Alessandra]

Leave me alone. I'm curious what your take would be if that friend had. Like, if they have a mutual friend, right? And that friend went and vented to the other friend.

[Becky]

Do you care?

[Alessandra]

Like, if you're like, okay, so they bought a house, right? And then they went to their friend and they're like, oh, I'm like, I. Like, I'm happy.

[Becky]

Like, I'm bummed.

[Alessandra]

Like, I can never afford, like, a house. Like, it's frustrating.

[Kale]

Whatever.

[Alessandra]

Personally, I don't give a. If people talk about me. Like, if you call me a don't. I don't give a. Yeah. If you question my character or my morals. Completely different. But, like, I think sometimes people need to vent, and I think that's okay. Yeah, but, like, keep it to yourself or, like, go trusted. Like a trusted friend. Like, would you care about that?

[Kale]

I don't think so. I don't.

[Alessandra]

Like, obviously it depends. Like, I'm not saying, like, talk about your friends behind their back. Obviously. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, like, if you need to venture, go vent to somebody else instead of me. When I'm trying to celebrate. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale]

Yeah, no, I agree with that. Like for this scenario.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, that scenario specifically.

[Kale]

Yeah. You don't want to say that to the person that's like having exciting news. It's like, don't be happy for them and then go to your sister, your mom, whoever, and be like, I'm really bummed out. Like they had this milestone happen before I did and I'm like, bummed out. That's one thing. I also think that, like people will say that something is venting and it's like, no, you are not venting. You were full blown talking it.

[Alessandra]

Well, yeah, because people don't like to admit that.

[Kale]

Yeah. And it's like you didn't just vent. You literally just ripped me to shreds. So there's a difference.

[Alessandra]

Big difference. People pick up on that energy and like, I get it. But people really need to learn to like kind of put their own aside and show up for your friends. I'm not saying all of the time, but like, it can be your friend's turn.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Do you know what I mean? And it will affect the friendship long term. And I just don't want friends like that anymore. I'm almost 35 years old. I'm exhausted. I have a really demanding career. I have a job. So do you. We work in the same thing. We're working all the time. It's very over stimulating and I just, I don't want friendships like that anymore. I don't want stuff like that.

[Kale]

We're all drained. And we don't want to put our energy and time and efforts into relationships that don't. They're not reciprocated. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Go talk to sent to somebody else.

[Kale]

Maybe get a therapist. Yeah. Just an idea. On that note, see you next time.

[Alessandra]

Love you.

[Becky]

Bye. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Kale]

This is the mindset free. This is the mantra.

[Becky]

With movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates.

[Kale]

This is awesome.

[Becky]

And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV stream now pay Never. You're welcome. Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives drama and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop apologists, Your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.