The Chins' Last Hurrah

Summary

Podcast Summary: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter Episode: The Chins' Last Hurrah
Release Date: August 12, 2025

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Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter is a heartfelt and humorous exploration of navigating adulthood in your 30s. In the episode titled "The Chins' Last Hurrah," Kail and Becky dive deep into personal updates, family dynamics, health concerns, and the enduring bonds of friendship. This summary captures the essence of their conversation, highlighting key discussions, notable quotes, and insightful moments.

1. Upcoming Trip to Salem, Massachusetts

The episode kicks off with Kail and Becky discussing their long-anticipated trip to Salem, Massachusetts—a destination Kail has been eager to visit. They reminisce about past visits and plan the itinerary.

• Kail: “We all decided we're going to go to Salem, Massachusetts. I have wanted to go for forever. Alessandro went a couple years ago and it made me want to go even more.” [02:00]
• Becky: “Yeah, we go every year then on.” [02:28]

Becky confirms her commitment to the trip, and they discuss potential activities, including the popular trolley ride. Their excitement is palpable as they plan to make the most of their month-long adventure.

2. Birthdays and Personal Celebrations

Transitioning from travel plans, Becky shares her feelings about her upcoming birthday, contrasting it with her usual celebratory approach.

• Becky: “My birthday is coming up, and I'm typically a birthday girl.” [03:31]
• Kail: “Your birthday is coming up, and I'm typically a birthday girl. I know a lot of people are.” [03:33]

Becky reflects on past memorable birthdays, such as hosting a hibachi party for 40 friends and attending Medieval Times, though Kail humorously notes she wasn’t part of those celebrations.

3. Kail’s Surgery and Health Concerns

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Kail's recent health challenges. She shares her experience with her son Elijah's medical issues, initially suspected to be a hernia but later identified as an epic epigastric hernia, causing considerable anxiety.

• Kail: “Elijah and I both took Rio to his appointment for what we thought was A hernia... Now we're dealing with an epic epigastric hernia.” [04:45]
• Becky: “I would get a second opinion. Just because you're like, you need a tiebreaker.” [09:55]

Kail delves into the complexities of medical diagnoses, the emotional toll of potential misdiagnoses, and the importance of seeking second opinions. The conversation underscores the challenges of navigating pediatric health issues and the stress parents face when their children are unwell.

4. Childcare and Sleep Arrangements

The hosts discuss changes in their children's sleep arrangements, emphasizing the transition to cribs and the impact on their own sleep quality.

• Becky: “We've just switched to him sleeping in the crib in his own bedroom.” [13:32]
• Kail: “If you have one when he's making noises before he actually needs to be fed, you'll be able to sleep a little bit longer.” [16:22]

They share strategies for establishing healthy sleep habits for their children, highlighting the benefits of independent sleeping spaces for both the child and parents' rest.

5. Kail’s New Hobby: Biking

Kail introduces her new interest in biking, detailing the challenges and humorous mishaps associated with learning to ride on busy roads.

• Kail: “I went to Dick Sporting Goods and bought a bicycle. Today is day three of bike riding.” [17:03]
• Becky: “Bro, I can't wait for paparazzi to get a picture. You wear a helmet?” [17:20]

Becky emphasizes the importance of safety, jokingly insisting Kail wear a helmet to protect against accidents on the highway. This segment adds a light-hearted touch, showcasing their playful dynamic.

6. Health Updates and Preventative Care

Both hosts discuss personal health journeys, emphasizing the significance of preventative care and regular medical check-ups.

• Kail: “I have a nodule in my lung for my pernuvo scan and an enlarged spleen.” [28:06]
• Becky: “Preventative care is amazing... it saves so much money from being spent when they find and catch things early.” [28:40]

Kail shares her ongoing medical evaluations, including CT scans and consultations with her new primary care physician. Becky relates by discussing her own fertility treatments and the importance of thorough medical examinations.

7. Listener Mail-In: Dealing with Grief and Guilt

A poignant moment in the episode features a listener's heartfelt story about coping with the loss of two significant relationships, leading to a deep conversation on karma versus chaos.

• Kail: “I’m gonna write a book about this. Both from wrecks.” [41:26]
• Becky: “I think you should talk to someone about it. Someone in your life that isn't associated with either of them.” [43:09]

This segment explores the complexities of grief, guilt, and the blurred lines between karma and chaos in personal relationships. The hosts offer empathetic advice, encouraging listeners to seek support through therapy or trusted friends.

8. Fashion and Brand Deals

Injecting humor and levity, Kail and Becky discuss their personal styles and aspirations for brand partnerships.

• Becky: “I'm gonna try to get a brand deal with Old Navy. I'm gonna speak that into existence.” [33:56]
• Kail: “I'm down.” [40:36]

Their playful banter about fashion choices and potential sponsorships highlights their friendship's fun and supportive nature.

9. Educational Tidbits: Sunflower Fields and Plant Growth

In an unexpected yet informative twist, the hosts delve into the science behind sunflower growth, educating themselves and their listeners.

• Becky: “It's called heliotropism. Young sunflowers track the sun from east to west during the day... Mature sunflowers usually stay facing east permanently.” [38:46]
• Kail: “Wow, this podcast has taught me a lot more than my master's degree.” [39:35]

This segment exemplifies the show's blend of personal anecdotes with educational content, making complex topics accessible and engaging.

10. Closing Thoughts and Farewells

As the episode concludes, Kail humorously mentions her upcoming neck surgery, while Becky wraps up with heartfelt goodbyes.

• Kail: “I'm gonna have my neck chopped off in 11 days.” [45:31]
• Becky: “Farewell to Kail's double chin rip to my double chin. Hopefully, she comes back better than ever.” [45:40]

Their genuine expressions of friendship and support resonate strongly, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and anticipation for future episodes.

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Key Takeaways:

• Friendship and Planning: Kail and Becky demonstrate the strength of their friendship through collaborative planning and mutual support, whether organizing trips or navigating personal challenges.

• Navigating Parenthood: The hosts offer relatable insights into parenting struggles, such as establishing sleep routines and managing children's health issues.

• Health and Self-Care: Open discussions about their and their children's health highlight the importance of proactive medical care and emotional resilience.

• Humor and Levity: Despite serious topics, Kail and Becky maintain a light-hearted and humorous tone, making the podcast both informative and entertaining.

• Community and Support: By addressing listener stories and encouraging open dialogue, the hosts foster a sense of community and shared experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Kail on Health Challenges:
  “I literally just cried out of pure relief because I was like, oh, my God, look at his little shroom pajamas.” [07:55]

• Becky on Preventative Care:
  “Preventative care is amazing... it saves so much money from being spent when they find and catch things early.” [28:40]

• Kail Reflecting on Grief:
  “Is this my karma or just pure chaos?” [43:07]

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The Chins' Last Hurrah episode of Karma & Chaos offers a rich tapestry of personal stories, health journeys, and the enduring bond of friendship. Kail and Becky's candidness and humor provide listeners with both comfort and laughter, making complex life challenges feel navigable and shared.

Transcript

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[Becky]

Good morning, good evening, good day, good night.

[Kayl]

I have a lot to update you on. They're like little updates, so I hope you're ready.

[Becky]

I am ready.

[Kayl]

Okay, so I blocked off, as you already know, your birthday weekend to come spend spend with you and baby backs and do all that. Right.

[Becky]

The weekend before, the weekend after.

[Kayl]

Pretty sure you had me block off the weekend of like my birthday's on a Thursday. Yeah, like that weekend.

[Becky]

Oh, sick.

[Kayl]

Why are you acting like this is the first time you've heard about this?

[Becky]

I've been asking you when you're going to come up here and we blocked.

[Kayl]

This off in my calendar together. You and me block this off in my calendar together.

[Becky]

That doesn't mean shit.

[Kayl]

Okay. Okay.

[Becky]

Who's coming with you though?

[Kayl]

I don't know what children are coming with me yet, but I will have some combination of crotch goblins with me.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kayl]

I have so much like just trauma dump on you. I don't know if they're trauma dumps or not, but. Okay, so first I was gonna say something about me, Alessandra and Kristen going out to lunch the other day and then you having fomo. So. So we brought up Salem and I because I, I keep forgetting about it and I know I already booked it. And so then I was like, I need to. I triggered something in my brain that I was like, I need to ask Becky if they're still going to come to Salem because I know that with life with a newborn is rough. So for those of you guys listening who don't know, we all decided we're going to go to Salem, Massachusetts. I have wanted to go for forever. Alessandro went a couple years ago and I was. Saw the pictures and it made me want to go even more. And then Becky and Leah go I think almost every year, right?

[Becky]

Yeah, we go every year then on.

[Kayl]

My bucket list for so long. And so I'm getting excited because it's literally a month, like the end of next month. And so one. Are you coming?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Kayl]

Okay. Do I have to buy tickets for that stuff or like how does it work?

[Becky]

Yeah, yeah, we'll. But we'll figure that all out. We'll like, have a. I think we should probably just, like, I'll give you a list of things that there is to do, and then you can decide what to do. And we. And. Because there's a trolley ride that's really fun. That's, like, really enjoyable that we should probably do, since it is sitting right. Like, you just sit and you get a tour.

[Kayl]

I want to do all the things, but I also. I'm scared they're going to be booked up.

[Becky]

We're going right before it gets really crazy. Although every year, it progressively gets crazier and crazier.

[Kayl]

I cannot believe it's the 1st of August. Like, I literally, like, where is the time going? I'm not ready for the kids to go back to school. I'm sitting here just like.

[Becky]

I kind of forgot we were recording a podcast. For a second, I thought we were just, like, on FaceTime. Catching up. That was nice.

[Kayl]

Save it for the podcast. It'll feel like we're on FaceTime.

[Becky]

Yeah. It is crazy. My birthday is coming up, and I'm typically a birthday girly. I know a lot of people are.

[Leah]

Like, birthdays aren't important.

[Becky]

Like, about all the things around it. I throw a party for myself every year. Like, I'm always. I'm always a birthday girl. This year, I don't think I'm gonna do anything.

[Kayl]

Why? You're 35 this year. What do you mean?

[Becky]

Oh, but Leah also says I say that every year, and then I end up doing something. Some of my favorite birthdays, I did Hibachi a couple years ago. I had, like, 40 people here. We did like that, like, at home. Hibachi. Experience, love. We did.

[Kayl]

Like, I must not have been a part of your life at that time.

[Becky]

No, you weren't.

[Kayl]

Okay.

[Becky]

I went to Medieval Times for my birthday one year. You were invited to that? You just didn't come.

[Kayl]

Was I pregnant or something? Like, okay, thank God.

[Becky]

Anyhow, if you're listening and want to send me a birthday card, I like birthday cards. So you can set me a little card in the mail.

[Kayl]

I have to tell you something that I started talking about on coffee combos, but I'm not going on coffee combos for the next month because I'm getting surgery. And so if anyone here is a listener of coffee combos, I'm also going to send in a voice memo of this to coffee Combos. But I wanted to say it here, too, in case anyone was following the story. Yesterday, Elijah and I both took Rio to his appointment for what we thought was A hernia.

[Becky]

This is my list to ask you today. Leah's been asking me every day to ask you.

[Kayl]

Okay, so I need to tell the full story. Last year, we noticed it around the time that he did. Started the ISR swimming lessons. And it was like this bulge. And I was like, oh, that's a hernia. Take him to the doctor. They're like, yeah, it's a hernia. It'll resolve itself.

[Becky]

Whatever.

[Kayl]

Whatever. No big deal. A year later, like this summer, it started to get rounder, protruding more. More defined, hard. And then it sometimes has, like, a green blue shadow over it, almost like a bruise. Take them to the pediatrician. She's like, this is not a hernia. You need to go into ultrasound, stat. And so I do. We take them. They're like, no, it's not a hernia. Look at the notes. The radiologist sent in the notes. Nobody calls me. And I read the notes, and it says, like, granuloma. Cannot rule out. I think it's like neoplasia, which is like a tumor. Freaking out mom, heart, crazy mom, stomach. Drops into my asshole. Get a consult with general surgery yesterday. Walk in, and they're like, this is an epic epigastric hernia. And I'm like, what do you look at? Can you. I literally looked at the doctor, and I said, can you please pull up the notes that the radiologist sent? Because I'm not crazy. And he's like, I'm really sorry that you went through this. He's like, but first of all, it says below the belly button in the notes, not above the belly button. So they already had that up. So he said, then you. You took him to an adult center for imaging instead of a child. When I. And I literally looked at him, and I was like, I took him where they told me to take him, where the pediatrician told me to take him. That's where I went. And she was like, they put that on everything. Could be a granuloma, could be neoplasia. Cannot be ruled out. Tissue diagnostics needs to be performed. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It says the way that I looked at this doctor and cried in relief because I'm like. And then I look at Elijah and I'm like, do we need a second opinion? Because first it was a hernia. Now, the same exact place that I told that I took them to last summer that said it was a hernia has now said it's not a hernia. Now I'm taking him to imaging, and they're saying it's. They. They didn't say it in those words that it's not a hernia, but they were like, side eyeing, basically. And now I take them to a children's hospital and they're like, no, it's fine. So I look at Elijah and I'm like, what do you think? And he's like, I don't think that we need a second opinion. And I sort of feel like I don't need a second opinion, but I don't. What. What is the right thing to do here? Like, I'm relieved and I'm so thankful.

[Becky]

Wonder how long can hernia stay there for?

[Kayl]

He said it may or may not resolve itself, and at the point that it becomes painful for him or he's complaining about it, then they would do surgery. But he said that in his experience, it doesn't make sense to remove the hernias if they're not causing pain or problems, which I do understand also.

[Becky]

Yeah. Because, like, why put him into surgery if you don't have to?

[Kayl]

Right. And he. And there actually is a second one now. There's like a second. So he has the one that is in the pictures that I think I sent you, and then he has another one now, and he's like. And he might get more.

[Becky]

I don't know. My gut feeling is I would get a second opinion. Just because you're like, you need a tiebreaker. You have one person telling you like this and that.

[Kayl]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But I. I don't know. I don't know what I. I like, that's. It scares me because, like, of them saying it wasn't. But, like, I get also the misdiagnosis as well.

[Kayl]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I don't know. I. I don't know what to do here. Let me ask Leah. Leah. We'll ask the medical professional.

[Kayl]

I literally just cried out of pure relief because I was like, oh, my God, look at his little shroom pajamas. You look so sweet. Oh, we're disrupting you.

[Becky]

Say hi. Are you pooping? Yes.

[Kayl]

Tim said leave him alone. Him has to poop.

[Elijah]

Are you pooping?

[Becky]

He's good.

[Kayl]

Little g. He has to go poop.

[Becky]

Are you pooping? Pooping.

[Kayl]

Well, leave him alone. He needs privacy. He gained two pounds.

[Becky]

I also would get a second opinion.

[Kayl]

Okay.

[Becky]

I would trust the pediatric surgeon more. She said she would trust the pediatric surgeon more. But maybe just go to a pediatrician person that ultrasound so that it's. Just get a second ultrasound done. Okay. But also then. Or don't. I would just go to another pediatric surgeon. Yeah. And have them review both yeah, true. And if they say hernia, then definitely hernia.

[Kayl]

Okay, fair. I think that's fair.

[Leah]

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[Kayl]

What are you reading right now?

[Becky]

You asked me this last time and it's just going to piss me off. Okay. Because I just, my brain doesn't work to read. But I do want to tell you that now that, that Bex was just in here, two things. I started showering with him.

[Kayl]

How do you do that? Because I've never done that like with an infant. How do you do it and get something like actually shower?

[Becky]

So you're not supposed to wash them every night, right? Like I think it's just like every couple nights you're supposed to actually wash them. So Leah will help like wash him when, when he's with me, like if it's a wash night and then other the other nights like I just like rinse him, rinse him off and stuff. But he loves the shower and it feels special to me to have that kind of time with him too. Let me, I'm gonna send you guys a picture. And so that's been really nice having that, like having that time.

[Kayl]

So do you just hold him? But like are you able to get your shower done if you're holding him?

[Becky]

No, I'll shower and then Leah will bring him in.

[Kayl]

Oh, because like you're rinsing him and then you give him up and then you shower. Okay, I'm trying to.

[Becky]

I shower and then bring him in.

[Kayl]

That makes sense to why that was never the case for me. Because no one, except for maybe Javi while we were together, could have helped me. Well, Elijah too, but not with three.

[Becky]

He like, I'll put him like in the water too. And he likes it like he like. It's so cute. And then number two. Yeah, cute.

[Kayl]

Oh. Oh, I'm glad that you guys have that.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's really nice. And then too, we've. We've just switched to him sleeping in the crib in his own bedroom.

[Kayl]

Okay. How's that going?

[Becky]

Leah was very upset the first night. Rightfully so. She didn't realize the attachment she had of him being. Well, she did not realize it. It was very present. She didn't realize how hard it would be. She didn't prepare herself for it. Bex is a noise maker. He sounds like. And I. I'll send another video to you. He sounds like he's having an exorcism through the night. Not crying, just making noises and grunting. And so we would try to comfort him in those moments, but like we don't need to be comforting him. He just is doing that because that's what he does. And then he self sues himself back to sleep. And so he loves his crib. He hates the bassinet, but like loves be because we've been trying to give him naps in there. So he gets used to it too. So we tried it and it's. He just got another shot two days ago. So he's been a little cranky. But I think long term it's going to work. He gives us a really good stretch from like 8 to midnight or sometimes even to 2 or 9. Sorry. And. And then 2 to 4 is always a weird witching hour for him. He's like cluster feeding, pooping. But he's doing well. I think that it's going to be a long term success.

[Kayl]

Oh, for sure. I had no doubts. I. It's always weird because the more kids you have, you'll find that like not the. The same thing won't work for every single one. So like from the day I brought Elliot home from the hospital, he was in a crib. He never was in a bassinet in my room, never slept in my bed, where Lincoln right off the bat, I co. Slept right off the bat. He had never slept in a crib a day in his life. So like you'll find that, like, it'll go just. You'll know.

[Becky]

Your bed still.

[Kayl]

What?

[Becky]

Lincoln still loves sleeping in your bed.

[Kayl]

Oh, if. If Lincoln can sleep in my bed. He will. And I do not deny him because I'm like, he's only gonna be. He's 11. He's about to be 12, so that's cute.

[Becky]

I also feel. I feel like there's this sense of us taking our room back too. Like, it feels like it's like there's a separation and that feels nice. Like, I feel like our room is. Is. It feels kind of like our own again. Like, not like this chaotic world of just like what's going on in here.

[Kayl]

But also if he's in the other room, depending on whatever the monitor set at. Like you. If you have one when he's like, sort of like making those noises before he actually needs to be fed, you'll be able to sleep a little bit longer because. And so. Yeah, because that's hard too. Like when you have. I'm. When I have my kids in my room and they make any. Any little noise, I'm like, what is wrong? And I can't go back to sleep. So. Yeah, if that. Those noises are lower or you can't. Not saying that they don't need us, but like, it will just give you a little bit more, like a couple more minutes of sleep.

[Becky]

Couldn't agree more. And his nursery is right next to our. Like our. They share a wall. So like his crying. We like him here. So it's. We have the net. We use the Nano, which is nice, but we've been using the outlet too, which has been really nice too, because it's like a sense of security of. Of those things being tracked. So we're double dipping on the technology of keeping. Making sure he's. He. He's breathing throughout the night.

[Kayl]

I picked up a new hobby.

[Becky]

Oh, God.

[Kayl]

I went to Dick Sporting Goods and bought a bicycle.

[Becky]

We just talked about this like two days ago.

[Kayl]

Yeah, today's day. Today's day three of bike riding.

[Becky]

You bike ride on the main highway?

[Kayl]

Yep.

[Becky]

Bro, I can't wait for paparazzi to get a picture. You wear a helmet?

[Kayl]

No.

[Becky]

Kayl, you need to wear a helmet.

[Kayl]

If I fall, it's two feet, okay?

[Becky]

It's not about falling.

[Elijah]

It's about getting hit by a car.

[Kayl]

Oh, for real? I thought the helmet was for falling.

[Becky]

I mean, when you get hit by a car, you need a helmet.

[Kayl]

Oh, I. First of all, why are you speaking it into existence as if I am Going to get by.

[Becky]

Why?

[Kayl]

When you get hit by a car, you need a helmet. No, I don't. I didn't think about that. But the highway is not really a highway. It's just a road.

[Becky]

Okay. It's a highway. People go fast down that road.

[Kayl]

They do? Yeah.

[Becky]

Wear a frigging helmet.

[Kayl]

Okay, I'll go to Dick's today. It gives me another reason to go to Dick's. Sporting. Good.

[Becky]

How's the biking?

[Kayl]

The biking is not bad. I will say that because of the air quality. It's been. And it's been on Godly. I don't remember every year I say this.

[Becky]

How many bikes did you buy?

[Kayl]

3. But I need to go get a fourth one because I told Lincoln on FaceTime and he said that he loves to bike ride. So he's gonna come with us too.

[Becky]

When you, when, if, if you ever get out of biking, let me know because I'll take it over.

[Kayl]

Prepare for that in the next couple months. Well, okay. So I was gonna say something. Oh, I want to get like the little attachment to put like the kids in it. Yeah, they'll probably freaking love it.

[Becky]

But if I was gonna put.

[Kayl]

If I put them on it, in it and do the attachment situation, I wouldn't drive on this road. Right. Like, I go to like a place where there is not super busy. I got a bike. I'm gonna be skinny, stunting on everybody. Oh, I'm running over horse poop. Brand new bike went through the poop.

[Becky]

Why wasn't I sent this?

[Kayl]

No, I didn't.

[Elijah]

Wasn't sent that. That was put in the drive. She's saying, why would I get hit by a car? Cuz she's doing that while she's.

[Becky]

This video is comical of the kids in town. You know, I live in like a really, like a secluded area like you do. The kids in town all have E bikes now and they bike everywhere.

[Kayl]

What is an E bike? No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Elijah]

Kale does not need to be on a bike that goes 25 miles per hour. No.

[Kayl]

Like, I don't know.

[Elijah]

She does not need to be on that.

[Becky]

No.

[Kayl]

I could barely stop with the traffic. Like, I. It was not great because it's like once you like take your foot off the pedal and you're at the stop sign like waiting for everyone to do their turns and. And I'm like, okay, now I need to go. But like, I'm a little wobbly when it starts. And so it was my turn and like trying to put my feet back on the like, could you imagine if it was an e bike? I would get hit by, like, I would get hit by a car.

[Becky]

The thought of someone driving by you and just taking candid videos or snaps of you.

[Leah]

Wear a helmet.

[Becky]

First of all, I'm not going to say that again.

[Kayl]

My haters are going to come try to run me over. Like, I'm gonna send minions to, like.

[Elijah]

You need to wear, like, a reflective vest and get, like, flashers on your bike, like blinkers, so people know where you're like, that you're coming and get, like, a little horn installed.

[Becky]

I. I can't believe this. Anyway, I'm happy for you. Get beat to getting a little physical activity in though.

[Kayl]

Of and vests. Reflective vests.

[Elijah]

Writing a list. She's at higher risk of getting hit over by, like, an Amish buggy.

[Becky]

And they.

[Elijah]

They will run you over.

[Kayl]

Oh, I ran over all their poop, though, and my brand new bike. I'm just trying to be skinny. I'm trying to be a fit queen. I want my legs to feel like Becky's quads.

[Becky]

My legs are getting strong, so I'm just.

[Kayl]

You know what? I'm gonna be there. But after I get my neck chopped off, I can only go on the treadmill. They said, she said I can walk. I can't get on the bike.

[Becky]

Walking on an incline is the best way to lose fat.

[Kayl]

Well, that's good to know.

[Becky]

I literally told you this last episode.

[Kayl]

Oh, well, sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't.

[Becky]

Whoa, you.

[Kayl]

Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. When you have a pet, you love taking care of them, because in their own way, they're taking care of you. But even if you're the best pet parent in the world, unpredictable things can happen. And fortunately, you can always give your care a boost with the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. All my animals are a part of our family, and I want to make sure they always have the best care. And in today's world, we insure so much. But what about insurance for your cat or dog? And with the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance, you can focus on the care your pet deserves and cover what matters most.

[Leah]

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[Kayl]

To Explore coverage, visit aspca pet insurance.com karma that's aspcapetinsurance.com karma Again, that's aspcapetInsurance.com karma this is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

[Becky]

I forgot to say I told you offline, but I didn't sit on this. One of the difficulties we've been dealing with with Bex and his sleeping is that he decided to roll over in the middle of the night, which means that we no longer can swaddle his arms.

[Leah]

And this punches the sky like he's.

[Becky]

Fighting off demons the whole night like this. He's always just swinging at people and. And that's just the life that we have to live now. I guess we're just setting ourselves up for a success in the future because we're dealing with all this stuff so early that, like, we are not gonna have to transition out of this swaddle in two months from now. Like, arms down, swaddle. Because we have to do it now. Now. That's all he's gonna know. There's a little pea brain.

[Kayl]

Oh, thanks. It's a. That's a big milestone. Did you write it down?

[Becky]

No.

[Kayl]

When he rolled over.

[Becky]

Do you. Do you have, like, a list of all your kids milestones of that?

[Kayl]

I did at one point. Yeah.

[Becky]

But no, I don't. I'll just listen back to the episodes and remember when it was.

[Kayl]

Yeah, exactly.

[Becky]

I also had to get an HSG test done.

[Kayl]

Okay. Right.

[Becky]

People really scared me for this. Anyone that's gotten it said that it's like they've cried during it, that it's really painful. It is. And I'm not saying it's not. I expected the worst. I did okay. I didn't cry. They, like, stick a catheter into your cervix and then they blow up a balloon and then they squirt dye into your tubes to make sure that there's nothing blocking your tubes and so that, like, your tubes are working fine. I did it because my fertility doctor wanted me to do it since I had a failed transfer. He wanted to make sure there wasn't. There wasn't a reason, like, medically that was the cause of It Okay, My tubes are fine.

[Kayl]

I did everything except for the dye in the tubes. I had a catheter through the cervix, and then they blew up a balloon, whatever. But it was for my bladder. They filled my blood because there was a time where not that I was pooping my pants in public, but I was peeing my pants in public, and I wasn't feeling it. Like, I couldn't feel the urge to go pee. Like, it would just come out. And so they did that. But it was for. And it. I don't feel like it hurt. It was just uncomfortable. But I also didn't do the dye in the tubes, and I don't know if that is pain.

[Becky]

The. Like, there was a point where I started, like, getting hot sweats, and there was just. The pain was, like, for five seconds. And so, like, that's why it was bearable. If it was longer than that, that would have been a different story.

[Kayl]

So how are you feeling about moving forward with another transfer?

[Becky]

I feel fine.

[Kayl]

Yeah. Like, are you thinking before the end of this year?

[Becky]

Yeah, definitely before the end of the year.

[Kayl]

That's kind of exciting, though. There are pros. I've said it before. There are pro pros and cons for, like, gaps between the children. But also, I absolutely love, like, Rio versus Valley, even Creed, because Creed and Rio are two years. Like, I also love that. So I feel like whatever works. And also, Bex and a new baby would be able to potty train around the same time, so you would essentially be done with diapers around the same time instead of, like, you're starting over us. And. And again, there's pros and cons to both, right? Like, yeah, some people who are more like, okay, budget wise, I can't do two in diapers, but I can do one in diapers and then continue that. That was sort of like, after. When Elliot was going into preschool slash kindergarten. I had Lincoln. So the diaper thing. I had a break or whatever. But that's exciting. We'll keep us posted. I have to go pick up contrast dye for my CT scans coming up. Because I have the nodule in my lung for my pernuvo scan. And then I also have. I don't know if I mentioned.

[Becky]

Where do you just pick up dye from?

[Kayl]

Oh, from the doctor.

[Becky]

Oh, okay.

[Kayl]

Like, I have to go to the doctor, pick it up, and they want me to drink it before my CT scans. And they're doing CT scan on my chest, CT scan, scan on my abdomen because the pernuvo radiologist was like, you should go follow up on this nodule on your lungs. The. It's 15 millimeters, which is pretty big.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kayl]

And then enlarged spleen. So enlarge spleen. And then I have polyps on my gallbladder, which I finally got established with a PCP this week. I've never had one before, like literally my whole entire life. So I'm actually really excited. But she was like, wait. She was like, I sent her like the pernuvo scan or whatever. And so she was like, we're gonna order 8 million labs, we're gonna do the CT scans, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. So, like, we're literally cover. I'm going to spend like, I think it's going to take like six months to a year to like get all the things that I need to do.

[Becky]

Yeah. But in the meantime, preventative care is amazing.

[Kayl]

It's a little scary because I actually, I didn't remember if the radiologist brought up the polyps on my gallbladder. I didn't remember that. So when she said it, I was like, oh, I don't remember like hearing about it or seeing it. And then same for the enlarged spleen. I do remember him bringing up the enlarged spleen, but I thought it was just something I was born with. But she also told me that the, like the. My new pcp. She was like, well, if you grew up getting strep throat, that those symptoms can also be of mono and you could have an enlarged spleen because you maybe had mono at some point in your life. So. Which I never thought of. So just like having a baseline for everything will be good.

[Becky]

That's why healthcare is so important for people to have access to, because preventative care can just be like a make or break for so many people. And preventive care is so important. And we don't do it because there's a lot of cost that comes along. Like, why would I get all these tests done and pay millions of dollars? But like, in reality, it saves so much money from being spent when they find and catch things early. So I'm really happy that you are doing this and I'm happy that you found a pcp. I also don't have one. I've never really had one. I'm really bad about going to the doctor. So the thing is, is that with having a married to someone that is a provider like that she works in the er, so anything that I would be like, oh, I need to go get checked for, I can just ask her and then she'll be like, this is what we would do. And most of the time it's take ibuprofen and Tylenol, what. Or whatever it is, like, and then see what happens. Or if I need antibiotic, antibiotics, like that's like, I can just get, you know.

[Elijah]

But you've also been going through the process of like fertility. So you're seeing a doctor, you're getting your blood work. Like some women either have like, they have an endocrinologist, for example, that they see for everything or like a pcp, like their endo or their GYN will.

[Kayl]

Order their blood work.

[Elijah]

You know, it just, that's what I was doing.

[Becky]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Kayl]

I was using my GYN as my primary care, which I know I shouldn't, but also it's so hard. Like pcp, like their schedules are booked out and you can't even get in with one.

[Elijah]

I think it's important if you have like medication management. Like for me, that's the, that was like the push for me is I, I'm on mental health meds, so I needed someone to be like monitoring that, like making sure my levels are good. And then I'm also on, I was on a GLP1 for six months, starting it again. So you need to check those levels too. Like, especially with the potential sent downs.

[Becky]

Of GLP1s and stuff like that.

[Kayl]

So I also told me that she can't, like I'm, I was prescribed focal in for my adhd. She cannot touch my ADHD meds or prescriptions.

[Becky]

Right.

[Kayl]

Delaware has like cracked down, I guess at one point pcps could do that, but now they've cracked down so much that there is you. Yeah, it has to be psych that does it. Which is. I could understand that if it was like. And obviously it's not her fault. Like I'm not coming for her. If it was like I didn't have a diagnosis and already been on a prescription, I would say, okay, that makes sense. Because I'm not gonna just willy nilly give somebody psych meds or like ADHD meds. But the fact that I was like, I've already been diagnosed with it. I've already been on two different meds for adhd. Like to me I'm like, okay, obviously I need it. It's like, it's not.

[Becky]

I switch my style of jeans so often.

[Kayl]

Like, style, do you mean like the, the fit, the cut.

[Becky]

I go back between girl and boy jeans like every couple years. My entire style of jean cut, gender, whatever it is. I'm back to boy jeans and I was on girls jeans for a while, but I'm back to boy jeans and I think you would really like Old Navy makes a 90s baggy jean. Like, it's a boys jean. It's 90s and baggy. Love them.

[Kayl]

Amazing. I think everybody has those. Like Abercrombie, American Eagle. You might really love them.

[Becky]

I'm an Old Navy girl.

[Kayl]

Okay. I actually haven't tried Old Navy jeans yet, but I will like, I'm down.

[Becky]

You think I could get sponsored by Old Navy? Yeah.

[Elijah]

Old Navy and Abercrombie have the best jeans for curvy girls and I will die on that hill for Abercrombie is.

[Becky]

Expensive as they are.

[Elijah]

But.

[Kayl]

But they have rewards. They have. They have a lot of good reward.

[Becky]

Yes, I will die on the hill of Old Navy. They always have sales, especially if you're a card member. There's always.

[Elijah]

I love Old Navy.

[Becky]

Oh, I love old baby.

[Kayl]

I'm not going to talk about my jeans. First of all, my jeans are Neanderthal. So my genes are copd. My jeans are.

[Becky]

Alcoholism.

[Kayl]

Alcoholism, drug addict. My genes are Jerry Springer.

[Becky]

I'm gonna try to get it. I'm gonna try to get a brand deal with Old Navy. I'm gonna speak that into existence. My goal the rest of this year and next year is to get brand deals. Love.

[Kayl]

I love that.

[Becky]

Thank you.

[Kayl]

We talk about sex sometimes on this podcast. We've talked about cheating and sometimes both of those things can throw off your ph and O. Positive has a remedy for that. Oh Positive is a women's health company. They offer a wide range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last. And they're proud to have the best sellings women health products at Target and Amazon. Euro Vaginal Probiotics is one of the top five supplements on Amazon and have multiple number one products in Target for intimate care, PMS and menopause categories.

[Leah]

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[Kayl]

All right, y'. All. As summer winds down, I'm all about refreshing my wardrobe and redoing my closet.

[Leah]

Quince is the answer. Think timeless, elevated pieces that actually feel.

[Becky]

Luxurious without the luxury price tag.

[Kayl]

These will feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering and mixing, and their styles are so versatile that I find myself reaching for these pieces over and over again. Think chic cashmere and cotton sweaters starting at just 40 doll washable silk tops and classic denim pants. Timeless styles that you guys will keep coming back to. But the best part is that everything with quints is half the cost of similar brands.

[Leah]

They cut out the middleman and work directly with top tier factories so you.

[Becky]

Get gorgeous quality without the markup.

[Leah]

Plus, they prioritize ethical, responsible manufacturing.

[Kayl]

I absolutely love their towels. I have towels, earrings, sunglasses. I have all kinds of things from Quinn's. I have slippers. I love all of their products. Quinn's pieces are made with the best fabrics and you're going to love them.

[Becky]

Give your summer closet an upgrade with quince.

[Leah]

Go to quince.com Karma for free shipping on on your order and 365 day returns.

[Becky]

You know, we didn't talk about what that tick tock that I made and I texted it to you and you did it.

[Kayl]

Sterling also texted it to me.

[Becky]

I figured she texted it to you because you answered and like she commented and then you commented like right after.

[Kayl]

And I was like, I didn't. She sent it to me and I still didn't do anything. It was when I got tagged in it a hundred times that I finally was like, all right, I'll go read whatever else she I'll go see whatever.

[Becky]

I made a tick tock for those that haven't seen it. That said, if I text you a text a tick stock a tick tock link, that means I want you to see it. Like if I text it through, if I just send it through tick tock, I know that there's a chance you won't. But if I text it to you, that means I need you to watch it and it's rude if you don't. And I Tag Kayla and I, because I text her tick tock sometimes because I need her to see them, and then she just doesn't watch them.

[Kayl]

Sorry about that.

[Becky]

Are you.

[Kayl]

Yeah, I am sorry about that. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thank you for the knowledge that you have presented me today because I truly had no idea that this was going on.

[Becky]

What book are you reading right now?

[Kayl]

I just finished Till Summer Do Us Part by Megan Quinn. And I just started Fuel the Fire by Krista Richie, which is a book 8 in a 10 book series.

[Becky]

Let me see if there's anything else on my list I wanted to get to today. So not to change the topic completely, but you know how there's sunflower fields.

[Kayl]

Yeah.

[Becky]

How do they get the sunflowers all to face the same way? And like, how do.

[Kayl]

How, like, don't they look to the light?

[Becky]

I don't know.

[Kayl]

I think plants, like a lot of them. I don't know if you've noticed this with all of your plants, but, like, I noticed if I have it near a window, they sort of grow towards the window. And so I have to move them to grow the up, like, so that the other side will also grow.

[Becky]

Maybe I'm just dumb.

[Kayl]

No, I. I'm could be making this completely up. Like, I have. I'm speaking out of my.

[Elijah]

You are crap.

[Kayl]

Let me.

[Becky]

She's correct.

[Elijah]

Yeah. Because the sunflowers, they'll turn towards the sun. Same with my monster. Any of my plants, they'll, like, you'll. I can tell where my light is because my plants will start growing in the direction of where the light is.

[Kayl]

Yep.

[Becky]

It's called helio heliotrop tropism. Young sunflowers track the sun from east to west during the day to maximize sunlight exposure, then reset overnight to face east again. They move. Mature sunflowers usually stay facing east permanently. Wow. You know, this podcast has taught me a lot more than my master's degree.

[Kayl]

Imagine. This is Karma and Chaos University. This is Karma University. This is Chaos University. You know what I mean?

[Elijah]

I need everybody to write into the Facebook group and tell us what this podcast has taught you.

[Kayl]

Yes, please, please, please, please write us what we've taught you.

[Becky]

Because do merch. That's Karma and Chaos University.

[Kayl]

Okay. Period. I'm down. I'm so down.

[Becky]

That'd be fun.

[Kayl]

The university of.

[Elijah]

And it might be far, but it's not that far. Where we're coming up on a year of Karma and Chaos ukc.

[Kayl]

You know how it's like uconn. U of T. U Penn. It's U, K and C. I was.

[Becky]

Gonna say how long you were gonna go with the U period.

[Kayl]

You. That was a U. No, K is. This is K in sign language.

[Becky]

Okay, see, see? What's you?

[Kayl]

I. I don't know.

[Becky]

Where's Elliot?

[Kayl]

We'll have to ask Elliot. Or Cool, let's read. Isn't karma isn't chaos.

[Becky]

What's you inside?

[Kayl]

Okay. Hey, ladies. I absolutely love y' all on the podcast. I'd be so happy if you read mine. I'll start by saying I know I was a piece of when I was in my early 20s. I'm currently 26 6. I've never been the girl who that was into sex. However, when I needed my fix, I would just sleep with the same two guys on the down low. One of my best friends. Still current best friends, little brother. The other guy was my long term, seven years ex boyfriend's brother. The other guy was my long term 7 years ex boyfriend's brother. Oh, okay, so best friend's brother and ex's brother. Got it. Two sneaky links who nobody knew about or it would literally ruin lives and relationships. Both men have now passed away. I'm gonna write a book about this. And she was the killer. She killed them or everybody else killed them because they found out anyways. That's just my brain. Both from wrecks. Okay, so car wrecks. I'm assuming maybe my best friend's little brother was in a motorcycle wreck back in January and my ex's brother lost control of his truck on a back road last year. Because I'm not one to have a lot of sex. I formed attachments to both of them. I attended both of their funerals. It's hard because I felt like I was more upset than I could show everyone around. Nobody had any idea what we had. I feel like I'm left on the back burner with all these emotions and I can't tell anyone. Is this my karma or just pure chaos? Wow, that is such an interesting like.

[Becky]

Yeah, I.

[Kayl]

Look, you feel bad for her because she's not putting their business out there. And like I slept with them. Like I've been sleeping with him for however long. Like she's not putting them on blast. Like, how lonely would that be?

[Becky]

That's so lonely.

[Kayl]

That is so. I actually feel really bad. I don't think this is karma because.

[Becky]

Some goosebumps from it.

[Kayl]

Yeah, I don't think it's karma at all because you're being private about it. You're not putting anyone's business out there. I mean, okay, it's your best friend's little brother and your ex's brother. Okay? But I mean, it is what it is. Is this my karma or just pure chaos? I think it's chaos. I feel bad. That's awful.

[Becky]

Yeah, I think it's chaos, too. I feel really bad. That's such, like, a difficult place to be in, too. I'm sure that happens to a lot of people. You form like, this deep relationship that might be like a private relationship and not meaning private in like a cheating way. Just like, in a private, like, you don't tell people way, and then something happens and then you have to, like, go through that guilt kind of all of your. By yourself. I think you should talk to someone about it. Someone in your life that isn't associated with either of them. That, like, wouldn't be, like, a huge shock.

[Kayl]

And not to be cliche or anything, but, like, if you don't have someone in your life that you could talk to about it, I would suggest therapy. And I'm not saying that. I truly am not saying that to be cliche. It's like the guilt that. The grief and guilt and just mourning that comes with death is so weird. And it's not a one size fits all, like, sort of unrelated. But, like, when my ex passed away that. I mean, that relationship was really, really tumultuous. Like, we had good times, obviously, but it was. It was very volatile. Like, to this day, I think about that man weekly and I. It's such a weird because, like, our relationship didn't end well, but I still have that grief. But I also feel like I can't. I don't know this for sure. I'm friends with his family on Facebook and stuff, but, like, I feel like I can't talk to them about it because they loved him in a different way than I did. But it was also so volatile that I didn't even go to his funeral because of it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I didn't know how they would feel and I didn't want to disrespect them. So I sort of understand him from, like, a loneliness perspective. But, like, that's rough.

[Becky]

Yeah, that is rough. Thanks for writing in, though. And yeah, hopefully maybe just writing in helps out a little bit that, like.

[Kayl]

Because maybe other people will comment in the Facebook group about this and maybe you'll find a connection there like, that you could talk to someone there. I. We've gotten tons of messages from people connecting over this podcast. So, like, if nothing else, I hope that someone else writes in with a similar story. Not that I wish that pain on anyone, but like, maybe y' all could connect.

[Becky]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kayl]

But on that note, we're gonna say goodbye until next week and I'm gonna have my neck chopped off in 11 days.

[Becky]

Well, wishing you the best of luck. Farewell to Kale's double chin rip to my double chin. Hopefully she comes back better than ever.

[Kayl]

Better than ever. Where can people find you?

[Becky]

You can find me at hater25 on all social media. Follow me so that I can maybe get some brand deals.

[Kayl]

Also, you can listen to for the haters podcast on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast. And you can go follow the Instagram for the haters on all platforms. And we'll see y' all next week.

[Becky]

Love ya.

[Kayl]

See ya.

[Justin Sylvester]

I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blakely Thornton. Join us for Yesterday's the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial up, those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Bennifer, Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch, and so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple podcasts, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and cash app or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know. We're gay today.

[Blakely Thornton]

Just when you thought summer couldn't get any hotter, Pluto TV is turning up the heat with thousands of free movies presenting Summer of cinema. Stream your favorite blockbuster films like Gladiator.

[Kayl]

I will have my venues.

[Blakely Thornton]

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[Kayl]

This is what I do.

[Blakely Thornton]

Fast food, Beverly Hills copy, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Julie and Julia.

[Kayl]

Bon appetit.

[Blakely Thornton]

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