Loading summary
Transcript3 lines
- [00:00]
A
This is an ad by BetterHelp. These days, it feels like there's advice for everything. Cold plunges, gratitude journals, screen detoxes. But how do you know what actually works for you? With the Internet and information overload about mental health and wellness, it can be a struggle to know what's true and what actions to actually take. These days, using trusted resources and talking to live therapists can get you the personalized recommendations and help you break through the noise. I've been going to therapy on and off since 2019, and it's the best thing I've ever done. But BetterHelp is a great option because they have over 30, 000 therapists. Better is actually the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. It's convenient, too. You guys can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life so you don't have to worry about driving to an appointment, taking time out of your day to do the appointment, and then driving back. It's all entirely too much. So you can join this from wherever you're at. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, Better Help can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with Better Help, our listeners get 10% off their first month@betterhelp.com Karma that's betterhelp hlp.com Karma oh, hey. I am a chicken with no head this morning, so I love that for you. Welcome to karma and chaos, Kristen. Oh, thank you so much for having me. Well, I know you're not recording, but you're here, I'm present. I think it just makes sense to let everyone know that you're here because Alessandra had an appointment. Becky's already driving to Salem. And so you're really here just for moral support. But if it feels like I'm talking to someone, I sort of am. It's Kristen. Just me. So this morning I go over to what we call the content house to record. And then the plan is to pick up Elliot, take him for a haircut, go to the airport. Okay, I bring my laptop. But I had lost my laptop charger, and I thought that I brought my laptop charger to Texas. And when I got to Texas, it was nowhere to be found. So I was like, it must have fallen out my bag. No, I never brought it to begin with. And it was on my desk the whole time. So I had tried to use the iPad charger that we use for book club to charge my laptop because it was the same like, USB thing, right? So I'm like, okay, perfect. I'll just use that. It's not a big deal. Well, my laptop never turned on, so I went to the content house to record for no reason at all. And now I'm back home. I'm 45 minutes late to disappoint disappointment. This recording. There's a couple of things that I want to say before we really get into this episode. I know it's going to be a little chaotic, but I'm. I have been reading all the comments from you guys and the support that you have shown me since I started crying on karma and chaos last week. It truly is like something that I'm struggling with. But I. I'm reading your comments and I saw a post this morning. Somebody commented, do like a thread of affirmations for me. And I just, I never wanted anyone to think that I was doing that for sympathy, like, talking about it for symphony sympathy or crying or anything. Like, like, I. It's something I'm really struggling with. And I just want everyone to know how much it means to me that you guys have even, like, you're seeing me as human and you're not seeing me as just some girl on TV or just some girl on the Internet, because it really is so much deeper than that. And oddly enough, that episode aired around the same time and I had already filmed it with Becky, but after we filmed it, I saw Michaela Nagara. I. I'm not. I don't follow her religiously. I just. Sometimes she comes up on my for you page and she was crying on tick tock about similar things and not necessarily about surgery. And so I just want to say that, like, you know, if you are somebody who is leaving nasty comments or backhanded comments, I understand that we choose to subject ourselves to that on the Internet because we're on the Internet, but I just don't think that it needs to be that way. I think that we should all sort of be living by this, like, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all kind of thing. Like, I think constructive criticism is one thing, but like, to say like, really awful things to people like, we're still human. Just because we're on the Internet doesn't mean that we have less feelings or that we necessarily have thicker skin. So that's more for, like, People who have done it, and I've had people write into me to apologize, and they'll say, like, I've been mean to you on the Internet. But, like, whatever happened to them changed their mind and so they wanted to apologize. Like, I'm not saying you have to go apologize, but I don't know, it's just something to consider. Like, think of people on the Internet as someone that you love and care about. You know, you wouldn't want someone that you love and care about to experience those types of things. But anyways, Becky's already on her way to Salem. I have never been, and I don't know what to expect. I'm very excited to go. Kristen was supposed to come. She's not coming. Sandra was supposed to come. She's not coming. So it's going to be Becky's family and then me and the two oldest boys. And I'm actually really, really, really looking forward to having this, like, two on one, one on two trip with them because it can be really hard with. With so many siblings and having siblings at both houses and also just like, the mundane routine of, like, okay, these. This is what our weekend looks like with sports, and they all sort of look the same. So I'm. I'm really looking forward to. To that. But I will say for anyone who is dealing with co parenting, separation, splits, whatever, like, how do you explain that? Like, you're just gonna miss out sometimes, right? Like, I don't want to say that. I don't. I think that really abrasive. Basically, I'm asking for advice from anyone who has had these hard conversations with their kids. But next week, we're gonna go see the Dolphins Panthers game in North Carolina. And that was a special request by none other than Crittercrat himself. Okay. He's a big Tyreek Hill fan, and so he wanted to. He really wants to meet him. Couldn't make that happen for him. So this is the closest that we can get. I'm not a Dolphins fan or a Panthers fan. I don't, like. None of my kids are. But, like, you want to go see Tyree Kill play? We're gonna go see Tyreek Hill play. I'm very excited. I've never been to Charlotte, North Carolina, so it's kind of going to be cool. And then Elliot won't be on that trip. He's not interested in football, and it's his sister's birthday, so Joe and I traded weekends. I'll take him this weekend, and then he'll take them next weekend. But so then that trip will be Lincoln, Lux, and Creed, because they're the football fans. So, you know, it makes sense. Other updates. Valley is gonna be starting gymnastics soon, and I don't exactly know how that's gonna work on my schedule. Only because. And also, Creed wants. Or not Creed, Lux wants to do gymnastics. I think he's just intimidated by maybe being the only boy. They also have a marriage. They have, like, ninja warrior thing at this gymnastics place. So I think that might be cool. If Verse shows any interest in gymnastics, I'll let him do it too, because none of my kids have done it, if anyone. Here's the thing about sports in general. Like, I learned pretty quickly that, please, like, I'm not going to force my kids to do these things, right? Like, especially if they're not good at them. And that might be an unpopular opinion. But if Valley is just not a gymnastics girly, we don't need to dedicate special time for her to do gymnastics. I don't want to pull my hair out fighting with her to go. So we're going to try it. If she doesn't like it, we're not going to do it anymore. And gymnastics is weird because it's not like a season that you commit to and then you can be done. Like, the boys can, like, try baseball if they don't want to do it. We don't have to do it next season. Soccer if they don't. So any tips or tricks for gymnastics would love from any other moms listening to this podcast. Gymnastics seems like a sport that you like a year, all year round dedicated to this sport. If she's not good, she's not doing it. So that's where we're at. So she could try something else if she's not great at it. Elliot has tried. Elliot has tried baseball, which he was pretty good at. It was like, right after T ball, but it's. It's boring at that age. It's one of those, like, you stand around and you wait because they give every single kid a chance to bat. It wasn't for him. He tried soccer. I really tried. I. You guys saw me screaming on the sidelines at soccer. That wasn't a good time. And it's low key, embarrassing. So for me, that's not, you know, he tried soccer. It wasn't for him. He did basketball also wasn't for him. So sports are just not for him in general. And that's okay. He did try tennis. We did private tennis lessons. He has toyed with the idea of going Back to tennis. He has brought it to me and said, what if I did tennis again? I think he's just looking for stuff to do. That was the first I had. Didn't really know anything about tennis when we did that. What a blast from the past. Lincoln has tried every sport except baseball. He's not interested in baseball in any way, shape, or form, which is interesting because he has a good arm on him. He has a good swing. He's done it, like, at home. He won't try baseball. And I'm like, just try it. He just try it. He doesn't want to. He tried lacrosse for a clinic one time, which I was really hoping one of my kids was going to be interested in lacrosse. Wasn't interested. So football, basketball, soccer are his thing. And then Lux has. Oh, and boxing. He's done boxing. Lux has done lacrosse, baseball, soccer, basketball, boxing, wrestling. Lincoln wants to do golf there. To my knowledge, there's, like, no golf teams around here. Maybe when he gets to high school, there might be a golf team. He loves going to topgolf. So we're going to be doing that in a couple of weeks. And I don't know what the interest is with golf, and I feel like him and Becky would have that in. Maybe they'll talk about that in Salem. And then Creed has tried basketball, soccer, baseball, wrestling, box. Did I say boxing? Basketball? I'll tell you what. Creed is going to be an athlete through and through. I can see it already. And he's willing to do the work by himself. Like, for the last several weeks, he's been going outside and playing basketball by himself and just, like, getting really. He's five years old, but he's getting pretty good at making these baskets. And so last night we went outside, and it was me, Lincoln, Lux, and Creed. I told Lincoln. I told Lux that I would play him one on one. So I end up. We play to 10. I get to 10 first, and then I'm just sort of watching the boys sort of play or whatever. And, I mean, Creed went toe to toe with Lux. Like, I was. I was really proud of him. And so he's doing really well with that. Lux and Creed of both said that they want to play indoor soccer in the winter, which is fine. It's just, like, I think, like, six or eight weeks. And then Lux said he wants to go back to baseball in the spring. All right, y'. All. When life gets busy, meal prep usually falls off the list. And I can attest to that. And even when I do it, it's the same boring chicken and rice on repeat. It feels like all that's literally all I eat lately. But that's why I am telling you guys about Tempo. Because these are balanced, fresh meals that are actually good for you. They taste good and they're ready in minutes so you don't have to skip meals. There's no takeout that's soggy and no endless prep. The prep is the worst part for me. I just can't get behind it. Kids are also back in school, so that means sports, back to school activities, tutoring, all of those things. And so it is so incredibly difficult. I've, I've said it before on this podcast and also on my other shows. We're eating two dinners sometimes because we're getting home from school, the kids are starving, and then we have activities. We come home and they're starving again. The Tempo meals are so convenient so that I can just heat up the food before we go to our activities and then eat dinner when I come home too. And as the holidays creep closer, this is also a good time to cut back where you can on the unnecessary, unnecessary spending on fast food. Or maybe you want to eat healthier for in between the holidays. I know, that's how I feel. Tempo is perfect for that. These are real meals. They're already cooked, they're ready in minutes. They're actually good for you and they keep you balanced while you're, I don't know, going between house and house to house for Thanksgiving and Christmas. These are chef crafts. These are chef crafted meals. They're dietitian approved. And they're right, they go right to your door, which is another game changer for me. I cannot do another thing that doesn't get delivered to me. I don't have the extra time to run to the store. They have 20 new recipes every week made from nutrient rich ingredients. And Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with the healthy habits. For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60 off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com karma that's tempomeals.com karma for 60 off your first box. Tempo meals.com karma rules and restrictions may apply. We'll see what Rio does. Rio, we call Rio. Around here we call him D1. Okay. So when you feel him coming, you know D1 is on the way. He stomps through this house like not light footed at all. And he is built like a linebacker. So we are very excited to see what sports he's interested in. He must be built like me because his dad is not built like that. And I would have loved to go back in time to see what Elijah was like as a toddler, because Rio is about to be 3 in November. He weighs 40 pounds, and Creed is 5 years old and also weighs 40 pounds. The only thing. The only difference in the weight of Creed and the weight of Rio is the ounces. So they are both 40 pounds, some odd ounces. Rio absolutely got those Neanderthal type of jeans from me. There's no doubt about that. Because Raymond is short, but him's a thick man. He's got, like. He's stocky and just like. I don't even know it's Neanderthal. It's giving caveman. You know what I mean? Like, it's. And Rio is taking after that. You hear him coming, you feel him coming before you see him coming. You know what I mean? Like, it's just thunder through the house. So we'll see how that goes, and we'll see how the twins. Maybe I'll try to put Verse in. I don't. He hasn't really. Verse and Valley are their dad's children. Okay. Verse and Valley want to be outside barefoot. They want to be on a dirt bike. They see bikes, and they are in there. Like, they want Lux to take them on his dirt bikes. Okay. He has two electric dirt bikes, and then we have one, like, real dirt bike that's not electric. It's like, I guess gas. I don't know. They cry because they want to go on the dirt bike. So Elijah drives him a Harley Davidson. He's always working and tinkering and fiddle around, tinkering with the Harley Davidson. And the kids are in the garage with him, like, tinkering. They just want Lux just crying. Please take them on the dirt bike. But I don't know if there's helmets for that size. So that's been a challenge because Lux wants to be on the dirt bikes, too, and the babies want to go on, but it's not really safe. But they want to be. So I. Suggestions? Maybe I'll get them to little toddler electric dirt bikes. I don't know. It's very. It's a very unique experience when you have seven children who have such different interests. I've seen, like, sports families that are, like, specifically soccer. I haven't soccer and football. I have seen families that, like, every kid in the family plays that sport. Like, that is that they are a football f family or they are a soccer family. I have not seen, like, we are a baseball family or we are a basketball family. Like, I've just seen those two. But all of my kids, like, Elliot is big into drama in asl. There's never going to be a time where he's going to be interested in something that the rest of his siblings are interested in. And so we can all just go together. Like, it is truly all over the place. So if you're wondering, if you're wondering if you should have more children and what that's going to be like, just be prepared for all the thing, all the activities, because there's a. There's a pretty good chance they're not going to be interested in the same. I don't know how we went into all the sports, but here we are. Mental health update. I'm okay today. I'm good today. I have felt like Becky lately with my eyes are just getting wet every single day and you never know what it's going to be. Someone sent me a tick tock of like, this super sweet kid and like these soccer players like, taking him out on the field. And so, like, I cried about that. But, like, I haven't cried about, like, my lip lately or surgery stuff late, like this week. So mostly good this week. Today is obviously not hair wash day, so, like, we're just gonna do the best we can. Medicine update. My. I don't know if I updated you guys to tell you that my psychiatrist did not up my Adderall. So I'm still on 10 milligrams of Adderall. And then truly, I have noticed that the nights and the days that I don't carve out time to read, I struggle more. So I don't know if it's like my little, like, escape or like, way to disconnect for a short time and then I can come back in. I don't take naps. I have not taken a nap in a really long time. So it's not like I could just like, disengage that way and then like, come back refreshed. It's like I just need to, like, exit reality up here for a second, read for a little bit, and then I come back to it. I noticed that I struggle harder on those days, so that's interesting to keep in mind. Kristen said we did establish you have to limit the scroll online. Okay. I want to talk about the scroll online really quickly. I thought I was going to do a Q A for this episode, but it's. We're like almost halfway and I've just been rambling. I hope that y' all feel like we're on FaceTime or on the phone. I don't know. Scrolling has not been good for my mental health for several reasons. And it sounds like cliche, sounds like. What is it called? Like, common sense. I have these like hyper fixations where like I will see one thing that I like and I have to get every single. Like tote bags were like a thing for me last month. Like, I think I bought six tote bags in a month. I'm saying all of this to say that I have to stop scrolling for my mental health for several reasons, one of them being my overspending because of scrolling. I'm seeing. I think I've talked about this before. I'm seeing things online. People are doing unboxings and hauls and shit like that. And I will then turn around and then I hyper fixate on that. So it's not like I'm just buying that one thing that this person is showing. It's like I'm buying this one tote bag that turns into, now I have a tote bag obsession and I need to have all the different tote bags for all the different things. And then it's like I can't just get one Lulu, I have to get all of them. And so it's like that part of the scrolling is really unhealthy for me. The other part of the scrolling is the comments mostly. Like the surgery stuff, like people ripping me to shreds. I've seen the same two creators over and over and over make essentially the same video that I am the problem. And there's nothing worse than kicking someone while they're down. Like, I. I know I'm the problem. I'm aware. I don't need strangers continuously pointing that out to me. And then the comments under those. There are good comments, but as you guys know, sometimes the hate is louder than the support. And I think that's, I'm speaking for a lot of people in the public eye, not just myself, but then also just the doom scrolling and then not reading a book because I'm doom scrolling. They're all. It's just not healthy. So starting October 1st to February 1st, I want to limit my personal spending. Like, stuff like this. I don't need to buy all of these things. Okay? Lindsay gave me a tip a while back and I apply it sometimes. It worked for Amazon for some time, but I have really applied it to like free people, because free people is very, very expensive. And I was ordering there really frequently, put things in my cart and then pick a Day of the week, May, Friday, maybe Saturday. So that I'm not doing, oh, just like going on Amazon and making a purchase on Monday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday. And then I have 12 packages at my door. Put everything in my cart that I might need, might want, put it in my cart, pick a day, go through the cart, see what I still want, see what I still need. Maybe there was a chance for me to run to the store and get something rather than have it from Amazon. So I'm going to go back to trying to do that. I've been doing it on free people because free people will remove, like, it'll tell you if it's out of stock. So then I wait until the end of the week. If it's out of stock, I have to remove it from my cart. And I also have been finding myself, like, removing stuff that I don't necessarily want. And all it was was just a couple days in between. So I'm going to start doing that. I want to go through and pause my subscription for a couple things that I like. Wasn't on a schedule like Neutrophil. I haven't overstocked because I wasn't taking it for a few days. Actually, it turned into a few weeks and now I'm back on it. But now, because I wasn't taking it for a few weeks, I can pause it so I can catch up stuff like that that I could just save a little bit of. And I'm trying to convince myself I don't think this is going to happen, but it's a good goal, I feel, to maybe go through my bookshelves over the next couple of weeks and pick out books that I know I'm just never going to read. Because the more I've been on my book journey, the more that I am like, okay, this type of book is not something I would be interested in. But I bought it because at the time I was interested in reading it before, I would be like, why bought it? It has to go in my library because maybe I'll change my mind. But at this, I feel like I sort of know what categories and genres I like. And if I'm just never going to read it, there's no reason for me to keep it. So with that being said, that's another goal of mine. And so if I pull any books off the shelves, there will be some giveaways, obviously, for chapter seven, book club. And speaking of that, I'm just going to tell you guys what books I'm reading right now. I know Becky has said for the past couple weeks she hasn't been reading because she had a baby. And so it's been a little chaotic. But I'm still reading, so I'm going to tell you guys what I'm reading. I am a little over halfway on. Tell me what you did. I plan to finish it this weekend while we're in Salem, because I have the plane ride there and back, and then maybe at night, depending on what time we are done with activities. And then the second book that I'm going to start, if I finish that one is called the Compound. This one's a shorter read. And this is a read your read at your own pace for chapter seven. So I'm hoping to finish this by the end of the month. And then the next two books for read at your own pace and October book of the month for book club are read at your own pace. Essay, Cosby, King of Ashes. I'm actually listening to this one on audio right now. And then the book of the month for chapter seven, book club is the surrogate mother. This is the one with sprayed edges. It's under 300 pages, and Emily rated it four stars, so it's going to be, like, a pretty good one by Frida. So, yeah, these are October. These are September. That's where we're at there. That's where we're at. What else? What else? Let me tell y' all about the underwear saga at Lowryland, okay? Never in my entire life, in my 33 years, 33 and a half years of living, did I think that I would have two sons that would one day fight over underwear. Okay? Elliot and Lincoln were not this way. They. They've been. They fought, but, like, not real. Like, it was more like bickering. They never really fought. Okay. Lux and Creed are different. So Creed and Lux were sharing a room for a short time. And with that being said, sometimes the underwear can get mixed up, right? Like, you think that your brother's underwear is yours. I'm going to say that this was maybe my fault. I'm leaning more towards this was my fault. We're getting ready for school one day. This was months ago, okay? But it continued for months. Creed was having a rough time. In the morning, I go upstairs to get him ready, which I know I don't have to do. Like, Creed, Lux, and Lincoln all get themselves ready and come downstairs. Like, I could not tell you the last time that I went upstairs to get Creed ready on this particular morning, he was struggling. I go up there and I give him A pair of underwear. I. This is what I think happened. I don't remember if it was me or not. Give them a pair of underwear. I'm going to take the blame. Turned out to be Lux's underwear. Okay? Maybe it was the laundry. Maybe Creed grabbed it. I don't truly know. They're ethicas, okay? If you have boys, if you have a husband, Ethica underwear are expensive, but they're cool. And I could understand why boys love Ethica underwear. Creed, he gets a little skid mark in the underwear in the ethicas, okay? I don't know how Lux found out that these were his underwear, but he. They were his underwear. He claims they were his ethicas. They were not Creed's ethicas. And now it's Creed pooped in my underwear, okay? He's pissed, he's upset, he's devastated. Those were my favorite underwear. Why did you touch my underwear? Got it. Lux then goes upstairs to Creed's room, pulls out six pairs. Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five. Six pairs of Creed's underwear. He then proceeds to cut said underwear. He is cutting holes in all six pairs of Creed's underwear. Creed starts crying. He's coming to me, Mom. He cut my underwear. There's holes in my underwear. I don't know what's going on. So I go over there, and sure, Lux has. And he admitted it. And he's like, and now I got my lick back. I'm fighting for my life over underwear. Okay? I tell both of them, I'm gonna order you guys new underwear. I think. I. I don't remember telling them together, but I remember having a con conversation with each of them and saying, like, I'm gonna get you new underwear. Like, this is not a big deal. Like, accidents happen. Like, Creed didn't mean it. I probably gave him the underwear. Like, I'm trying to take the blame off Creed because I truly don't know how he got the underwear if it was just, like, a simple mistake. I forget to order the underwear, okay? Creed's asking when I'm on where. When the. Where the underwear is. Where is the underwear you said you're gonna order? Why hasn't the underwear come back? Come to the house. Well, so I'm telling. So all of this is transpiring. Like, I'm getting a text saying that Creed is asking where the underwear is. Okay? So I'm in the car with Lincoln. We're on the way home from soccer. So now I have to explain to Lincoln because He's reading the text messages and he's not understanding. So I have to explain to Lincoln. Lincoln's laughing because he wasn't a part of this. And Lincoln says, can you get PSDs? And they're similar to Ethica's. So he's like, can you get me PSDs? Which is underwear. Great. Love that. I'm going to make a collective order now. Get online. I ordered $380 of underwear of PSDs because now that he's asked for PSDs, I have to explain to Lincoln I am not going on the ethical website and placing an order for basically one item of underwear and then getting and swiping my card and then going on the PSD website and swiping my car. Like I'm not doing that. So now everybody's getting PSDs. I'm not ordering the Ethicas because I'm not swiping my card for one item. Like it's just not happening. So these underwear for a pack of three is like 63. Like why are we doing this? Why? Why is it so expensive? And I learned by telling the story to my team. Kristen let me know that it is never okay for men to share underwear. So yes, they're little children, they shouldn't know any different. But like apparently you just boys are not okay sharing underwear. So now I know. Now I know. I have decided that when this underwear comes to my house, I am going to open them all and I'm going to put them into their sizes because obviously they're different sizes but some of them might be the same print. I'm going to use a Sharpie to write their initials so that it is known whose underwear it is. Okay. All right. Let's talk about a subject that seems like the world wants us to ignore but we can't and that's our hormones. Hormone health is so important because it controls so many things in our day to day life. Our energy levels, mood, metabolism, sleep and even your skin health. And when they're balanced, you feel stronger, clear headed and in sync with your body. But when they're out of whack, you can feel like everything is off. When my hormones are off, I feel fatigue, mood swings, weight fluctuations. The big one for me breakouts. And then even bigger for me is the brain fog. So if that sounds familiar to you, I really want you to think about trying Glow by Beam. It's a once daily hormone balancing blend for women that has made such an improvement in my life and you need to try it too. They have 18 comprehensive active ingredients that supports fluctuations in metabolism, immune function, collagen production and more. They also have vitamins, minerals and natural antioxidants. They're specially blended to synergize with each other and your body. So you don't have to guess what vitamins that you should be taking while you're in the aisle at the grocery store. And it comes in the tasty form of a low sugar drink mix, which is nice and it's hydrating so you're going to drink water with it. We love that. I've truly found that GLOW is the simplest way to keep up with my hormones, my hydration and everything in between. You just mix one scoop with 8 ounces of water, shake, stir or froth and you're good to go. Over 40, 000 women have trusted Glow by Beam to support their hormone health. And now it's GLOW is here to help bring you back to balance. Because balance isn't a luxury, it's essential. I know that you know that. And for a limited time, BEAM is offering our listeners up to 35% off Glow. Just visit shop beam.com karma and use our code karma at checkout that shop b a m dot com karma and don't forget to use karma at checkout for an exclusive discount. Lux and Creed no longer share a room. I do have a bed for Lux in Creed's room because sometimes they love each other and sometimes they don't. So I have it set up as if they're still sharing a room in case Lux wants to go back in there. But something tells me that once the underwear comes, that is going to be nail in the coffin, never going back. Don't want to mix up the underwear. So I say all that to say when I was 17 years old and pregnant with little baby Elliot, I never thought that I would be labeling underwear 17 years later, 16 years later, 15. I just never saw it on my bingo card. I didn't know that kids fight about underwear. Don't know what's going on. Didn't grow up with my sister, have no idea if this is normal or not. If someone could write in and kindly just let me know if it's like a regular thing to fight about. It was never on my. I've never. Lincoln and Elliot, yes, they're so different and I can see why they didn't fight about this stuff. But underwear that they still could have fought about, clothes they still could have fought about. Don't have that problem. That's my story on the underwear. If anyone has tips and tricks for how to get my kids to stop fighting, please let me know. I will link the underwear, the PSD specifically, because maybe your kids want them too. Maybe there's a sale. I don't know. I didn't order for a sale because I was under pressure and I needed to order right now because Lincoln asked and Lux and Creed were asking where their underwear was. I don't know why I can't just go to Walmart and get some Hanes boxers. Like, that would be ideal. That's because you give your kids freedom of choice. Yeah. And freedom of choice, giving your kids autonomy and not being super, super strict. Nothing wrong with whatever parenting style you have. Mine is if they want a specific type of underwear, want to make sure they have it. And, yeah, I do give my kids freedom of choice. Anything that has to do with their bodies, like haircuts, underwear, certain clothes, like, want to give them the freedom of choice. And that's expensive. And so I'm gonna have to be budgeting for this expensive underwear. But if anyone keeps track of PSD or Ethica sales, please message me when those happen. Kristen did a little segment on here. It says, are we triggered? So giving scenarios and then rant about whether or not they bother you? So I'm gonna go. There's. This is short list. I think I have time to do this. And is it karma or is it chaos? Okay. People who say every quote, everything happens for a reason after you just had the worst day ever. That is infuriating. It's invalidating how I feel. Not saying that. You have to validate. Here's the thing. This might be an unpopular opinion. I might get backlash for this. But just hear me out. Why does everyone need their feelings validated all the time? Like, yes, I do think that there are significant things that need validation. I do. Like, I want people to empathize. But, like, you can empathize without, like, blindly basically agreeing or pretending to agree with something. But if I have a bad day and I'm venting to you, and I'm like, oh, my God, this and this and this and this and this. And it's like, everything happens for every reason. Shut the up. Just let me have my minute. You don't even have to say anything. You don't. You don't have to say a word to me. I just want to vent. If you're listening or pretending to listen, that's good enough. Please don't say that. Also, don't say, oh, if you think that's bad. And then you Start listing off things that are making your day shitty. No, don't do that. Like. Like, please don't do that. I literally cannot tell you how infuriating that is. You may have had a bad day also, but at the point that I'm, like, struggling, and then you turn around and you're like, but this is what happened. Cool. Could you give me maybe. Maybe just give me five minutes between me venting about my shitty day? Pretend like you're listening. Give me five minutes before you go on about yours, and I'll do the same. I'll give you the same courtesy, but I just need a minute to just say it out loud, feel how I feel, and then I can move on. And I also need to do better at that. That I really do. I. I really need to do better at that. And I also need to get better at, like, the. I'm saying this to relate to you because that. You're not looking at it as relating to me. You're looking at me as if I'm making it about myself. So I need to do better at that as well. And I'm laughing because I feel like I have definitely done that. When you cut someone off, the universe immediately tests you with someone. Worse. When you cut someone off them. See, I can't say that that has always happened to me. That's funny. Can you cut someone off, the universe immediately test you with someone else? Maybe they do. Maybe they do. Is it karma or is it chaos? Right? Like, you leave one relationship and you meet someone that's significantly worse. Is it karma? Is it chaos? Is it a coincidence? Like, I still don't know how I feel about that whole situation. Like, do things happen for a reason? Or is there a coincidence? Or, like, I don't know. Like, I. I'm still not sure about that. And, like, King of Ashes had something in it, and it was like, there's a difference between karma and then, like, you get what's good for you. Like, you get what's coming to you. Like, I'll find it. Some will say that one of my exes was karma for how I did my previous partner. I'll take that. I'll take that. But at the point that it just keeps getting worse, Like, I have already served my karma tenfold, twenty fold, thirty fold. Why is it still karma? Do you know what I mean? Like, at that point, it's like, what's going on here when your crystals are charging under the moon, but your life is still a dump dumpster fire? That's probably one of Those things where, like, nobody can help you, like you up. And the crystals, they're there for moral support at that point, but they're not helping. So. Charging under the moon. I don't know if Kristen made this up or if she Googled this, but that's really funny as my crystals sit in a case right in front of my face. When you swear you've broken a generational curse, but your kid is just like you. Let me tell you a story about Critter, Critter Crot this morning. Okay. Creed is. I didn't really think he was like me, personality wise. I haven't really seen a whole lot of characteristics that are like me until this morning. He's sort of just like his own person. I don't really see a whole lot of his dad's personality in him either. I think he's just truly his own person. But this morning, getting ready for school, I have all these labubus, as you guys know. I had given Creed two of them. I gave him an orange one, and he got a blue one with the mystery boxes or whatever. I had the blue one on the island in my closet, and it was sitting there. And then I had told him to take the orange one off his backpack because I didn't want it to get lost at school, dirty, stolen, anything like that. So I was like, take it off your backpack. I'd rather keep it here. You can use it whenever you're not at school. Okay. Knew where the orange one was. Didn't realize I had the blue one in my closet. So he comes downstairs and he's like, where is the labubu? And I said, creed, remember we talked about taking them off your backpack? Okay, but I just need to see where it is. I just need to see where it is. Like, I need to know that you have it. And in that moment, I said, this is my son. I have never seen myself in one of my children until that moment. I just need to see it. I just need to know where I need to. The other day I texted someone and I said, I need you to go to my house and I need you. Because it's. It's one of those things where it's like you wake up in the middle of the night. You sit straight up and you're like, where is my birth certificate? That is me 24 7. During the day, while I'm awake, I had this crazy thought that I did not know where these dolphin shirts were that I had purchased for Luxon Creeder on the dolphins for flag football. And Then we're going to see Tyreek Hill next weekend. And so I bought these dolphin shirts for set events. Okay. But then I couldn't remember where I placed them. And at the time, I could not get to my house to look for them. So I had to go to my house. I just need to know. Know where they are. And in that moment when he was saying, I just need to see it, it's like, that is Kayl Lowry. That is five year old Kayl Lowry. Kale Lowry needs to see where the Labubu is. So he takes the blue Labubu, puts it with the orange one. And then I said, put them right there. He put them in front of his school picture on my dresser. He put them right there, laid them next to each other. He just needed to know where they were. And so much same. So much same. Speaking of my kids again on Tuesday, this past Tuesday, a week ago. When this airs, it will have been a week ago. Taking Lincoln home from soccer practice. And I get a video from Elijah or the baby's nanny. I don't. She's not a nanny. I hate calling her that. She's literally family. I don't remember who it's from. Sends me a video of. Of Rio. I look at Lincoln, I'm like, rio is gifted. Like intelligence. Like some. He's gifted. Something is going on. He's gifted. Lincoln looks at me without missing a beat and says, how is that possible with parents like y', all, meaning me and Elijah? How is that parent. How is that possible with parents like y'? All? The conflict going on right here in my head was like, wow, you are so funny and witty and I am so proud of you because that rolled off your tongue without missing a single second. The other part of me was like, my kid is frying me up and basically calling me stupid. So it was a conflict inside my head. But he was so proud of himself and he just looked at me and smiled and I was just like, like, how does this happen? Like, the trauma of me having seven kids and like, is that what makes you funny? Like, I don't. The trauma of a split home, is that what makes you funny? Like, because I was never funny my whole life. I was never funny. I'm funny now, unintentionally, because my life is a joke. It's a dumpster fire sometimes. The three oldest are so witty and so funny and it comes out so effortlessly and it reminds me a lot of Lindsay Chrisley, because Lindsay Chrisley will fly. Actually, Kristen, also witty, comes right off the Tongue, no thought necessary. Like, it just rolls out. If I did that, I would be so offensive. Like, nothing would be funny. It'd be like, wow, Kayl, you really said that out loud. So I say all that to say they don't get it from me. It must be the trauma. It's definitely not their dads. So there's that the audacity of exes to act like they're healed when you're still in therapy while you're still. Yeah, that's actually infuriating. There's nothing more infuriating because also being healed is not linear. And I can't stress that enough. I'm here to tell you, remind you, if you will, the audacity that you think you're better than me because I'm still in therapy or you tell me my therapy is not working. Just you saying that alone tells me that you're not healed. You're not as healed as you think you are. You're not as healed. I've never claimed to be all the way healed. I'm working on it. I want to continue to work on it. It's going to be a work in progress probably for the rest of my life. I have 33 years of trauma. It's going to take 35 years of therapy to get through that. Right. Like, it's like the time the trauma took place with additional work through years. So y', all. When you're quick Target run turns into a. It turns into 300 of random. Yeah, that's. This goes back to scrolling on social media. I can't go to stores just for funsies anymore because I end up spending money that I don't need to spend and then I don't have anywhere to put said stuff. But I think I need it. So yeah, no, that's feels good in the moment because you're like, oh, I love this. Right. It's like dopamine and then buyer's remorse. Kristen said, I need to know who the kills time at the store. I'm going to give you an example. The other day, it was a Monday and I dropped the kids off at school, go to my hair appointment. Actually have I need another one because I need a blowout. But go to my hair appointment, get my hair done. And there is one hour between the time that I have that I get back to my home area to picking the kids up from school. But my house itself was sort of out of the way. So like it did not make sense for me to go home for 30 minutes to then drive back Right. So what do you do? You go to the store, you go to Home Goods, you go to Target, you go to the store. What else are you going to do for that one hour? Park and nap? First of all, it's going to take me that full hour to fall asleep. Because naps for me these days are not the same as, like, I'm exhausted by the end of the night, the end of the day. So I'm going to sleep really easily at night. But like, during the day, I could not, like I had to force myself to sleep during the day. At this point, I'm not saying it was always that way, but right now, so, like, I can't park a nap. Sometimes I'll go to Wawa, maybe, maybe Starbucks, but most of the time I'm gonna go to the store to kill time. I don't want to spend 300. So you go see people? No, I'm not paying attention to people. I throw an audiobook in my headphones and just walk through. But then it turns into a 300 hour. And then I have to have meetings, finance meetings about my spending. So I can't do that anymore. Sometimes I'll go get snack wraps. When doordash leaves your food at the wrong house and marks it as delivered, that happens more often here. Or if I travel for work and I'm in like New York or Philly or something, and I have the Philly address in the doordash or the New York address in the doordash and then I order doordash not realizing that I ordered to New York. That happened to me twice in a row. Two door dashes in a row. I ordered to the apartment in New York and I was pissed off at myself. The other thing that happens a lot is because Elijah and I split a driveway, one of his. So remember you doordash to the hospital? Oh, actually I forgot. I door dashed to the hospital. Where I want to say it was either Kristen was in the hospital and I went to door dash and I door dashed it to her hospital after I had the twins. That also happened. I was still door dashing to the hospital. I'm not good at that. But also with Elijah and I living and sharing a driveway, I think, like legally, like by like the county or whatever, we're supposed to use the driveway we share. But because it was all one big original farm, Elijah essentially has two driveways. He has a driveway that is just for his house, and then he has the shared driveway with me that he's technically supposed to use by law or Whatever. Because that's like the easement. I don't know. Sometimes doordash will go down the wrong driveway for just his house. And they don't understand that there is a second driveway and that my house is in the back. So they will leave my doordash at Elijah's house. Or they'll put it at his. Like, he has, like, a shop where he does, like, his, like, mechanic stuff for, like, trucks and his motorcycle and stuff, because that's in between our houses. They will drop the food off at that door and then post a picture. And you're just like, does this look like someone lives here? Like, I don't know what call if you're confused. Like, literally call. I don't understand. So that's infuriating. That's. I'm triggered. I'm triggered when you finally sit down and someone immediately calls your name. And my favorite it is the kids will. I will sit down and then it's mom. And I don't even have a chance to answer that mom before they say it again and again and again. So then it's mom. Mom. You didn't even give me a chance to say yes after the first time. Infuriating. Infuriating. And I have 17 more years of that. People who eat your leftovers without asking, this one I don't care about. This actually makes me happy because I would rather see some people are leftover people, some people are not. Some leftovers are better than others. I would rather still see the meal that I paid for get eaten because chances are I'm not gonna eat the leftovers. I brought it home with the intention to eat it, but then I don't eat it. So I actually prefer for this to happen, although it, shockingly, with the amount of people in my house, doesn't happen often. Nobody's eating somebody else's leftovers, which is interesting because I feel like that would be common. Like, I don't know people who say, you look tired, like it's a compliment. Let's not say that anymore. That's actually because I probably look tired today. Right? Like, I am tired. I'm also doing mom stuff. I'm working today. I have to go to the airport today. I'm going to look tired. You don't have to tell me. I looked in the mirror this morning. I look in my rear view mirror in the car. My kids humble me regularly. They have probably already told me, I don't need to hear it from you. Triggered when your GBS reroutes you and it somehow Makes it longer. That is so infuriating because I want to shave off one to two minutes of the GPS time every single time. So if there is a point at any time in the road trip that I. It re reroutes me and adds time. Now I am. I need to beat the clock, right? Like, you have to cut back to the original time that it gave you. So if that's four or five minutes, we need to shave off four or five minutes. Like, that is a must. So, yeah. Yeah, we do. So the next segment, we have to finish out this episode. And I'm really sorry if you hated it. It's definitely not the same without Becky. I'm gonna finish this out with Is it karma or is it chaos? I matched with this guy on a dating app and we were talking non stop. I thought I was slick and gave him a fake name because I wasn't sure about him yet. That's pretty smart. A few weeks later, I ran into him at a family barbecue. Turns out he's my cousin's new co worker, and everyone started introducing me by my real name. He just looked at me like I was insane. Is it karma or is it chaos? That's chaotic, but it's kind of funny. And if you to. To me, that's really funny. And I would just explain to him, like, I didn't want to give you my real name. I wasn't sure. And honestly, they're probably gonna bond you whether you're friends or you end up dating. So I think that's funny. I think it's chaotic, and I love that. I would like to know if you guys had a conversation about that, so please follow up. Oh, and there's more. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay. I got mad at my husband for leaving dirty dishes in the sink. I went to load them in the dishwasher to make a point, but I tripped, dropped a plate, and sliced my foot open. Ended up in the ER with stitches while he sat there saying, told you to leave it alone. Karma or chaos? That's also chaotic. I'm going to be toxic here and say that if your husband simply put the dishes in this leaving. If your husband would have simply put them in the dishwasher and run the dishwasher or hand wash them, you wouldn't be in. It had nothing to do. You were doing something that he didn't do. That's chaotic. I'm sorry that happened, but your husband was mean for that. I was talking trash in a group chat about one of my co workers. I meant to screenshot their email and send it to my friend instead. I screenshotted it and sent it directly back to my co worker. She replied with nice try. That is karma. That's not chaos. That's karma. That sucks. And that's embarrassing. And I. I'm sure a lot more people have been there than we're willing to admit. Okay, and I'll do one more for funsies. I was bragging to my friend about how smooth and drama free my divorce was going that night. My lawyer emailed me saying my ex had filed an emergency motion for custody over a fight about who gets the dog. Dog. Is it karma or is it chaos? I think that's chaotic. About who gets the dog is kind of funny. It's like not funny, but it's funny. An emergency motion for custody of the kids or of the dog? That's my bigger question. Because if it was about the kids because of a fight about the dog, it's also chaotic. It's not karma. Like, that's petty. That's like, why are we. No. Layers are expensive. Let me know if you need any more tips on how to navigate lawyer fees. On that note, you guys can watch these full episodes on my patreon patreon.com Kale Lowry Becky will be back next week. We're not fighting. I'm not the problem right now. We're gonna be in Salem this weekend and recording for karma and Chaos together for the next episode. And you guys can also get merch on killer entertainment.com, so don't forget about that. We have a new drop coming soon and yeah, we'll talk to you next week. See ya.
- [51:45]
B
Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, real housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.
- [52:16]
C
This September, CBS hits are streaming free on Pluto tv. I'm coming in for this month only. You can watch full seasons of the CBS show shows you love. From the courtroom drama of Matlock to the heroics of Fire Country. Go back to where it all began in NCIS origins or watch the hilarious hauntings of ghosts. All for free. Full seasons of the CBS shows you love this month only on Pluto tv. Stream now pay never.