B (2:47)

Welcome back, everyone, to Karma and Chaos podcast. This is your host, Becky Hayter, coming at you live from the couch in Dover, Delaware.

A (2:55)

Are you taking a nap?

B (2:57)

I'm laying down like I'm in a

A (2:58)

therapy to pick with Becky because she's a bitch, and we did this game outside, and she edited the video herself right in front of us, and she didn't include the second time. I caught the fucking balloon. And I just feel like I am more athletic than I get credit for. And I've said that time and time again, and you just made it seem like I am not athletic. But I caught that balloon a second time.

B (3:21)

Boohoo.

A (3:22)

You're kind of a bitch for.

B (3:23)

My name's Kale, and everyone hates me. Anything else? Any other grievances you would like to get off your chest?

A (3:35)

No,

B (3:38)

Guys, it's been a hell of a day.

A (3:42)

That's the understatement of a century.

B (3:44)

I see Kale once a month if that. If I'm lucky. And it feels like hits the fan only when I'm here.

A (3:52)

I am at the age where this would be thrilling 12 years ago, right?

B (3:59)

What?

A (4:00)

Yeah. It would be like, wow. Like, I'm this important that this happened, right?

B (4:05)

Yeah.

A (4:06)

Now I'm crying. I don't want this to follow me. Like, I'm sitting here every day, and I'm like, I don't want this. This is not thrilling. This is not exciting. This is not chaos that I am thriving in. This is chaos that's genuinely taking me the out.

B (4:26)

Yeah, we need to just. We're gonna go on tour, and we're gonna start a new leaf.

A (4:30)

No. When I go on tour and tour is over, I am leaving whatever on June 15th. Better not follow me throughout tour. June 15th when I leave for tour.

B (4:41)

Yeah.

A (4:42)

I am not taking any of this chaos with me because, honestly, Alessandra's looking at me like. Because the. That I'm talking about is I'm not the only. The only person affected by it. It's everybody. But my thing is that it's like I'm tired. Right? Like, there's always somebody in. In the circle that's like the. The goes with them everywhere they go or they start The. Everywhere they go. I can honestly say I did not start this bullshit in any way, shape, or fucking form.

B (5:13)

Oh, the. The things that are happening today. Anything.

A (5:16)

All of it.

B (5:17)

Okay, let's be so proud.

A (5:20)

I. None of it. All of the recent stuff. Everything that's occurred in 2026 has. It's not. I didn't start it. I didn't look for it. I didn't initiate it. You know how people like to start? They, like, set a fire and then they walk away from it, and then it's like I'm the victim.

B (5:35)

Yeah.

A (5:35)

That's not me right now. Like, the things that have occurred in 2026 are debilitating.

B (5:44)

Yeah.

A (5:45)

Behind the scenes.

B (5:46)

All right, so you heard it here, folks. We're leaving the chaos behind us, and we're moving forward with happiness, fun, and a little bit of unhinged, just in a good way.

A (5:57)

The unhingedness is. Needs to be positive and funny and, like, a little bit of dark humor. It needs to never be the. You know.

B (6:08)

Yeah.

A (6:08)

Just about Dead dads. Yeah. Like, our dads are dead. Like, dead dad's club, you know? So, like, I just feel like that's. That's the vibe.

B (6:19)

I. You know, I couldn't agree more. We are looking into a prosperous rest of this year, and I want me

A (6:27)

to tell you a joke?

B (6:29)

No. Yes, I do, actually.

A (6:31)

My life. Why did you say no? You don't want me to tell you a joke? Okay, you ready? This isn't the joke, but it's also funny. Can't spell dead without dad.

B (6:52)

Was that the joke?

A (6:55)

This is good. This one's a good one for you. Okay. Shitty things dad has done died. That doesn't apply to me, but. Okay, hold on.

B (7:07)

Oh, we're. We're just reading dead bad jokes

A (7:13)

when you parent act when. Okay, hold on. That one sucks. Hold on. You know what ruins Father's Day?

B (7:25)

The dead dad.

A (7:25)

Yeah.

B (7:30)

We're not having a dad.

A (7:31)

Okay, so I didn't have one, and then he died. Okay, hold on. Are you asking Chat GBT for these? No. I don't believe you. I'm not. I'm not.

B (7:46)

Anyway, I was.

A (7:46)

Wait, no, no, hold on. The funny one's coming up. Where are you looking for this? I follow an account.

B (7:52)

Oh, like a dead dad account?

A (7:54)

Yeah, but, like, the up part is, like, they're not all dead. Like, sometimes it's just a dead beat and it still applies. You know what I mean?

B (8:01)

Yeah.

A (8:02)

Okay. Dad taught me independence. By dying or leaving. Yeah, it could apply. So I feel like that's like the theme of fatherless behavior is like, if your dad choice, come on out.

B (8:21)

Okay.

A (8:22)

Okay.

B (8:23)

You heard it here, folks.

A (8:27)

Is that not the funniest thing you've ever heard?

B (8:30)

The funniest thing I've ever heard, yeah.

A (8:33)

My mind missed my love life. No, the funniest thing I've ever heard

B (8:37)

was probably when Kale yelled Gaelic.

A (8:41)

Gaelic. Or kayak.

B (8:43)

No, Gaelic. Oh, speaking of books, I know that you guys hate when we talk about books, which is so dumb because books are part of our life, but this is only going to be a couple seconds. I was scrolling book talk try because I started a new book that some person posted that their two favorite series were Red Rising and the ass Assassin's Apprentice Apprentice series. So I was like, oh, I need to read this book. Because I. I love Red Rising. If that's what's compared to. I like cannot get into this book. It's just like so slow. There's. It's really weird. Like, there's no depth to it. There's no really world building. I think it's getting better, but we'll see. I'm over halfway through, but I was on scrolling through people's TikTok lives that were popping up on my feed and going into them and asking if they read this book on like every TikTok live that I could find that had books in the background. And I popped into this one and they were like, like, Becky, what are you doing here? And it was like a couple people. The girl was like, like, who is that? She's like, that's Kale's best friend. Like that. Like, why is she in this live right now? There was like seven people in it.

A (9:58)

It's just.

B (9:59)

It's just me. Hey, guys, have you read Assassins Apprentice?

A (10:03)

I know, but like, I thought you were gonna say it was lives with like a thousand or two thousand people in there. It's one with like seven people.

B (10:09)

Literally was joining any live I could that popped up that had books on it just so I could get like some reassurance that I need to continue.

A (10:18)

That's giving. When I got on live and accidentally accepted somebody's random request to join. And then I'm playing a game with this guy.

B (10:27)

I saw that.

A (10:27)

I had no idea who that was. That was an accident.

B (10:30)

Some. I saw a screenshot of it.

A (10:32)

Yeah, his name was Young Sparrow in that.

B (10:35)

In that scroll. This is just. Look at this picture. I'm going to send it to Alessandra too, so you can insert it into. This is a live. That Came across my fyp. My fyp.

A (10:51)

What is going on? What is going on? I. I hope we get that lucky one day. Like it was just to just have a random.

B (11:01)

We should do that. That's getting weak. Yes. That's what I was think we. That.

A (11:06)

What? I don't know what we're saying.

B (11:08)

We should go on Omegle.

A (11:10)

What is Omegle?

B (11:11)

It's like a. A roulette of people that you just get matched with random people and you can click the entry.

A (11:18)

Should we do it right now?

B (11:19)

We should a thousand percent do it. Yes. After this, people do it and they record themselves and record the other person. And like sometimes. Well, sometimes you get like really weird people, but then sometimes you get like really cool. Like magicians are on there, but it's normally just magician. I don't know how lucky we would get.

A (11:36)

Sometimes there's just dicks.

B (11:38)

Yes.

A (11:38)

Yeah, sometimes there's just like actual dicks or like.

B (11:42)

Did you guys see the comment in the Karma KS Facebook group?

A (11:47)

No. Oh, God.

B (11:50)

They asked. They. Someone commented like, I hope they talk about this.

A (11:54)

I'm scared.

B (11:56)

It's from Sarah. Hey, Sarah. It says Becky. The new format is amazing. The narrating along with the interview clips reminds me of Sword of Sword and Scale, my absolute favorite crime podcast. You are absolute absolutely killing it. Signed a girl who sent you Snapchats of her titties back in the day. And then. And then she commented on it and said, just to be clear, these were unsolicited. I'm sorry for who I was as a person.

A (12:28)

I love it. That's so funny.

B (12:31)

That's so funny.

A (12:32)

We love you, Sarah.

B (12:32)

Yeah, we do love you, Sarah. I probably really enjoyed them at whatever time period you said sent them, but love that.

A (12:42)

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B (13:15)

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A (13:45)

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B (14:29)

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A (16:37)

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B (16:45)

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B (16:55)

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A (16:58)

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B (17:02)

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A (17:10)

Well, can you do your. Would you rather that you were so desperate to do.

B (17:14)

Yeah, I thought we would do some fun. Would you rather is on this episode. But first, I don't want people to make fun of me for this question I'm about to ask. But I feel like you probably will be on the same page. Do you guys ever see that like Zara Larson dance that people are doing the. Do you know who Zara Larson is? No, I didn't know who it was either. And she's been popping up all over my tick tock. But it seems like a lot of people know who she is. She's hot.

A (17:42)

I've never heard of this person in my whole life.

B (17:44)

That's what I mean. And I feel so out of it that I had no clue who she is.

A (17:49)

Oh, it's a singer. Yeah, no, I. That name doesn't sound familiar to me whatsoever.

B (17:54)

Yeah, yeah, I do that. I guess. I just, I always see the dance though. It's like, I don't know. Yeah, it's always like people. She brings some up someone up on stage to do it. Okay. Also one other thing I would like to bring up before I they did a heated rival rivalry lookalike contest and the boys that won it started making out and then they went on a date. All right. We decided we're gonna do a. A little bit of a. Would you rather today, would you rather get back with your worst ex or be single forever?

A (18:38)

I would rather be single forever. I would rather be single forever than ever, ever, ever, ever get back with that man, ever.

B (18:48)

What a fascinating question for me to think about.

A (18:51)

Would you rather get back with one of your exes or be single forever?

B (18:54)

My worst ex.

A (18:55)

Your worst ex, which. There's a couple. Yeah, there's two in particular up here

B (19:00)

in your thought cage.

A (19:01)

Right here in my thought cage. And I think who you think is your worst ex is not who I think is your worst ex. And if you ever got back with who I think is your worst example, you wouldn't anyway.

B (19:15)

I personally think. I don't know. The idea of being single scares me because I've never been single longer than a week. I don't know. Too hard.

A (19:24)

Bombastic side eyes. You've been single for us like a couple weeks. I don't even think it's been that long. What about you? I've been single for months.

B (19:33)

Okay. Anyone? Anyway, would you rather get taught get caught talking or have someone record it and play it back?

A (19:44)

Would I rather. Yeah, I'd rather get caught in the act than to have it recorded and then played back for me. I also can't handle that like that. Neither one of those situations are good for me. You have to answer the questions because you're asking me, I'm answering. And you're not giving full answers because you're like, that's too hard. Nope, Next one.

B (20:02)

I literally went through the whole explanation of my last one. I was letting you finish before I came in. She is. Who are you?

A (20:10)

Wait, what was your answer to the first question?

B (20:13)

I think that I would be good get back with my worst ex. I don't think I could survive single.

A (20:21)

You're. And you don't think that's like in physical pain when you said. And you don't think that's probably want

B (20:27)

to try to think about like having single.

A (20:29)

Okay, well then when people talk about me doing it, make sure that you. You stick up for me.

B (20:34)

I do stick up for you, but

A (20:35)

it did a whole lot of sticking up.

B (20:37)

I didn't see it.

A (20:37)

I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I didn't see it.

B (20:41)

And for this one, I'd rather get caught in the act.

A (20:44)

Facts also, let's also not talk unless we would say it to somebody's face. Because the way that Life is in 2026, somebody's recording it, so you might as well just go directly to the source. Somebody asks me, did you say this? Yes. Oh, flat out, not too long ago, I. I'm talking to Lindsay, and I'm on the phone with her, and we're just talking, talking, talking, talking, talking. And I say something. She goes, oh, that was me. Yeah, I said that. I was like, oh, I'd rather people like that mirror around me anyway, because everybody talks. If you say you don't talk, you're a liar.

B (21:15)

You probably just don't realize it.

A (21:16)

And you're actually probably the worst talker ever. Honestly, Becky taught me that because when we became friends again, reminding everybody when we became friends again, she was the first person to tell me, hey, like, just so you know, I talked a lot of shit about you, and I just want you to hear that from me so that somebody doesn't come through the woodworks and say, oh, Becky said this, this, and this. I already know. She told me and Kayla and you and Rebecca all told me the same thing. Okay, great. You don't do it publicly. I really don't give a fudge. I also don't. Like, I'm 34 years old. If you think that I give a fuck what you're saying about me behind my back. I don't care. Do you care?

B (21:50)

Yeah,

A (21:54)

I should have known the answer to that.

B (21:56)

Well, it depends what people are say. Like, is it. Are they talking about something that I actually need to change? Like, is there something in my behavior that, like.

A (22:04)

But if I'm getting on your nerves and you're talking about me because, like, you're getting my nerves, I do not care. Like, please don't share that with me.

B (22:13)

All right, next question. Would you rather have your search history leaked or your notes app?

A (22:19)

Either one. I don't give a. You don't care? I don't have weird on my phone, which is so crazy to me because I think, like, the invasion of private. Like, I don't have weird on my phone. I have nothing to hide on my phone. If you went through my phone, you're likely not gonna find anything, but just, like, the paranoia that I live with because of everything, I'm like, I don't want you to go through it, but,

B (22:44)

like, nothing weirder that they would find than you haven't said out loud.

A (22:47)

That's a fact. Yeah, because, like, I could tell you my last Google searches is book of the month. Kale Lowry barely Famous. Why does it smell like semen? Varsity sweatshirts, two outfits I found that I have in my car. A necklace thing that she. I was asking her for the link, so my searches aren't weird. I did ask Chat GPT if it was legal to drive while you're deaf. Oh, Chat GPT history would be something like, I. Those are not even weird either, though. Like, I have cruise ship survival rates, Ninja Turtle request, paywall, content infringement, driving while deaf, extortion. Like, just not weird. You know what I mean? And then my extortion. Yeah, I wanted to see what fell into that category. I almost never use my notes app,

B (23:41)

so neither for you.

A (23:43)

Yeah, I don't give a. I'm tired of this anyway.

B (23:45)

Would you. Would you rather.

A (23:48)

You didn't answer?

B (23:50)

I. Probably. My notes app, even though there's probably no. I'd say my search history.

A (23:56)

You'd rather somebody go through your search history? What's on your notes?

B (23:59)

I think I have, like, probably, like, screenshots of, like, arguments with exes in. I haven't deleted my notes in since I've had an icloud, so I don't. I literally don't know what's in there.

A (24:11)

There is one note that I wouldn't ever want to be seen, and it's my baby name list. Why? I don't want anyone to see that when I'm never using them ever again.

B (24:20)

Just delete that at this point.

A (24:21)

No, because if I ever have GR. Grandkids, I'm gonna try to coerce my kids into picking names on my list.

B (24:26)

I guess that's fair. Would you rather your partner hear your thoughts for a day or read your old texts?

A (24:37)

I would rather, ike, hear my thoughts for a day. I would love. I wish that there was a technology available where he could be inside my brain for a day. I would love that so much because I think I would be so much more understood. Okay, what about you?

B (24:55)

Probably read my old text.

A (24:57)

My text message threads. There's again, nothing that I'm hiding. They're unhinged. The text, first of all, I'm not gonna say who it was of. I go on Snapchat the other day, and it's like memories from eight years ago, and it's me and Becky and another person, and I send it to her. I save it to my phone and I send it to Becky and she goes, oh, wow, I fixed it. And she sends it back to me with a Photoshop edit. And it was the best thing I had seen all week. It was great. I showed everybody Another text message that was unhinged is the Torta's group chat, which is absolutely diabolical. Yeah, nobody can. If that ever is leaked, I'm moving to Tijuana. So, like, you could read my text messages. You might not understand them.

B (25:46)

I don't think Leo would take the time. I have, like, really up thoughts. And like, I think that, like, are

A (25:53)

we talking, like, intrusive? Like, maybe you could go on meds kind of vibes? Or, like, are you mentally ill?

B (25:59)

No, no, I just, like, I think of a lot of really weird and like, horrible things.

A (26:05)

Could you give me an example? Because I can't understand. You have to.

B (26:10)

No, like, I just. I think of really weird, like, things

A (26:15)

I don't understand. No entiendo.

B (26:17)

No entiendo. No pas. Nada. I can't excite. It's like, I think of weird, like.

A (26:24)

But, like, could you give me an example of weird? What is weird?

B (26:27)

No, like, I think I. I don't even know how to explain it.

A (26:30)

Okay, so I. I used to have this friend who had felt very comfortable to tell me some of the things that went on, that went on in her brain. And it was. It was concerning because I don't have any thoughts like that to any degree, not even on a smaller level. Right. So, like, I'm wondering if they're similar to that and should I be concerned about all of humanity? Because if more people are think. If lots of people think that way, then everyone calling me a horrible person needs to reevaluate. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I just. I feel like I need. I do need an example of some sort. Well, like, give me a low scale version of something.

B (27:15)

I feel like, like I have a lot of PTSD from being held up by a gun. So, like, I think of worst case scenario.

A (27:24)

Like, you were held off by. Held up by a gun. No. Where were you held up by a gun?

B (27:28)

Oh, at a house in Easton, Pennsylvania.

A (27:32)

No, I never heard this story. No.

B (27:35)

Yeah, I feel like you have. Anyway, so I think any situ. Like, I'm always thinking of worst case scenarios in anything that I'm in, but

A (27:42)

then you're already on the right track and this is not what I was thinking. So you're good. You're good.

B (27:48)

Oh, I don't have kale. Just. I said thoughts of someone harming someone. I don't have any thoughts of harming people, but.

A (27:54)

Okay, I needed you to clarify that.

B (27:56)

That's why I have thoughts of, like, survival things. Survival things. And like, Like, I guess, like sexual things too. Sometimes, like, if I see like a couple, like, I think of them, like, having sex normal, like, and just like. But like, sometimes it's like, weird.

A (28:12)

But see, that's why I needed you to clarify that. This girl literally has told me, like, horrible thoughts. And so that's what I thought that you were.

B (28:21)

No, no, no. I don't think of harm. Like, harm is never a thing, but, like, harm maybe in like a way of like. Like someone getting kidnapped. Yeah. Anywho, I would never want anyone to hear my thoughts.

A (28:34)

I want everyone. I want someone to live inside my brain for a little bit.

B (28:37)

No, Never.

A (28:43)

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B (29:08)

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A (29:53)

Ready to reach your goals? Visit for hers.com Karma to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F o r h e-r s.com karma for hers.com karma Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk as to get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovy clinical study information and restrictions. Visit for hers.com oh positive all right, I just got a new order in for the Euro Vaginal Probiotics because it's one of the top five supplements on Amazon and they have multiple number one products in Target for intimate care, PMS and menopause. O Positive is a women's health company. They offer a range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last. I saw a lot of discourse about what I was saying about PH on Facebook and I just want to clarify that I have mentioned time and time again that so many Factors impact your pH. We're talking sex, tight clothing, sweat from working out, hormones, periods, all the things it doesn't have to be a cheating partner. Okay? It all can disrupt your vaginal health and lead to an imbalance in vaginal flora and cause your PH to have an unhealthy odor or taste, abnormal discharge and discomfort. All of those things can factor in, right? It's not just the cheaters. So you guys know that my personal experience was my PH was thrown off through a cheat from a cheater and that's not the case for everybody, okay?

B (31:19)

Eurovaginal Probiotic is a blend of four powerful strands of Lactobacillus probiotics backed by research showing these strains support healthy vaginal odor, vaginal ph and flora. In addition, Neuro contains prebiotics that increase effectiveness of the probiotics when taken daily. Two capsules a day Euro delivers noticeable benefits within eight weeks. Many may see results sooner. Many customers talk about how the improvement in vaginal health led to greater confidence as well as better sex and intimacy.

A (31:52)

Take proactive care of your health and head to ohpositive.com karma or enter karma at checkout for 25 off your first purchase. That's O P O S I-T-I-V.com karma for 25 off when you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock so your team always gets the win.

B (32:59)

Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop

A (33:02)

by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

B (33:07)

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying growing. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com. Would you rather have to whisper or yell?

A (33:45)

Yell. I feel like whispering is like I'd get tired.

B (33:50)

I'd probably choose whispering because I could use like a mic and just have a speaker connected to me at all times. Like yelling.

A (34:02)

Well, I mean I could talk like this and I get told I'm yelling.

B (34:05)

So same sister. Would you rather be 10 minutes late forever or 2 hours early forever?

A (34:12)

2 hours early forever. I actually hate that people say I'm late for everything because I'm not.

B (34:20)

Who says you're late for everything?

A (34:22)

Mainly my ex husband

B (34:27)

who, like, who are you with that is like that you're late for everything?

A (34:30)

Mainly just him. But it holds a lot of weight for me and I'm like, I literally am not late everyone. And I mean literally one person.

B (34:39)

Would you rather you always smell like garlic or always smell like wet dog?

A (34:44)

Garlic. I don't even like garlic. I really don't like garlic. But I would rather smell like what do. I agree.

B (34:49)

I hate wet dog. The smell of dog, like makes me not happy.

A (34:54)

Yeah, I love when people have animals, but you walk into their house and you can't tell they have animals.

B (34:59)

This next one's funny. I'm like reading. I'm trying because I have to, like, not. I'm not reading every single one because they're all not good. But. But would you rather your kid become tick tock famous or start a podcast about you?

A (35:12)

Tick tock famous? Yeah. I mean the kids could start a podcast about me, but they're all, they're. I mean, how many times on an episode are you gonna say that? Mom herself, you know, like, I don't really think it's true. Not. It's not sustainable. So for them and their income, I would want them to do tick tock.

B (35:27)

I think I'd rather back start a podcast about me more sustainable.

A (35:32)

I would love to hear what, like, do you think my kids talk about me to each other? Yes.

B (35:37)

Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.

A (35:39)

Like, all moms or like, just.

B (35:41)

I think all moms.

A (35:43)

Okay. But probably mostly I'm gonna text them and ask, do you guys talk about me together?

B (35:47)

They're gonna lie. But, like, they're gonna lie. Do you ever think about that? What it would have been like growing up with a sibling?

A (35:53)

Oh, yeah. Oh. I always think, like, if me and my sister. My sister's funny as. She's so funny. So, like, if me and my sister grew up together, we would have been, like, our parents would have hated us.

B (36:05)

Yeah. Because, like, we talked, me and my siblings, even though we didn't like each other, we would talk on our parents.

A (36:10)

Oh, yeah.

B (36:11)

You know.

A (36:12)

Yeah.

B (36:12)

You had to. Would. Who would you rather narrate your life, Your ex or your mom?

A (36:21)

Oh, wow. Don't let Chris and Susie ever be friends.

B (36:27)

You show up to court one time, and, like, Susie's on Chris's side. Chris brings in Susie as his expert witness.

A (36:36)

You know what's crazy is that Joe has met my mom. Javi has met my mom. Javi met my mom maybe twice. Chris has never met my mom. Elijah has never met my mom. But which one would I rather.

B (36:48)

What? Narrate your life.

A (36:53)

Which ex. But that matters. That. That matters a lot.

B (36:57)

I would say, Chris.

A (37:00)

I'd rather Susie narrate my life. She's not a liar, you know.

B (37:06)

Is she? Are you sure about.

A (37:07)

Yeah. No. My mom. I wouldn't call my mom a liar. I'm not saying she's never lied. Yeah. What about you?

B (37:13)

I would. My mom, she would. She would pro. She would just talk good things about me.

A (37:20)

I texted in my family group chat.

B (37:22)

Okay.

A (37:22)

And I said, do you guys talk about me together? Like, oh, my God, Mom's so annoying. Do you know what Elliot said? Yes. Like, right in front of your face. And you don't hear us. Doesn't surprise me at all.

B (37:37)

Yeah, you don't hear us. It's crazy. It literally makes sense.

A (37:48)

Did you just fart? Did you just fart? Was that a fart? What? Say. Excuse me. Who farted? Becky.

B (37:58)

Oh.

A (38:01)

Did you fart or not?

B (38:03)

Yes, I did.

A (38:04)

I'm not crazy. Wow. I mean, a little, but. Okay. What's next to be determined? Sometimes Ike will be like. Like, just randomly, he'll be like, they haven't figured it out yet. And I'm like, what? What? And he's like, they haven't figured out what's wrong with you yet.

B (38:25)

There's no diagnosis.

A (38:26)

Right. And then later on, like, another day,

B (38:28)

he'll be like, Would you rather have your what?

A (38:35)

Mid sentence?

B (38:36)

I literally wasn't.

A (38:37)

It's fine. It's fine. We're tired. We have the sleepy hahas. It's fine. Wait, speaking of that. Why did I say that? I don't know. It has nothing to do with what I was just gonna say. Never mind. Just forget it.

B (38:51)

Are you gonna say it?

A (38:52)

No, I was gonna talk about hoop dreams when I was in fourth grade. Hoop dreams? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I wanted to play basketball so bad. Like your hoop dream? Yeah. Like, I thought I was gonna be a basketball player. And then it was a sleepover in the gym at school, and then we would stay up all night and play basketball. Yeah. This is a dream you had? No, it was a program called hooped dreams. What is wrong?

B (39:18)

I think we also had dreams. Dreams. I'm like, first of all, why are you calling basketball?

A (39:27)

I was thinking, who are you Sleepy Haas? Because we. We were in fourth grade and stayed up all night, and we were laughing. Okay. Okay, Roger.

B (39:37)

Okay. Is that it?

A (39:42)

Yeah. But I don't think you asked. You answered the question. Your mom. You would rather your mom mom? Yeah. Okay.

B (39:47)

I. She would say all nice things about me.

A (39:50)

Yeah, I think she would.

B (39:52)

Even if she didn't.

A (39:53)

Whatever, you know, what could she say about you that wasn't good?

B (39:56)

I don't know.

A (39:57)

I wonder. I do really wonder what Susie would say. And make her eat those mud pies instead of hot ones. You know that, like, hot ones where they're eating wings. It's like, hey, Susie, do you want to come on my pod? And we could talk? And it's like we're. I'm just interviewing her while she's eating mud pies. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't think you.

B (40:17)

She'd get through mud pies, plural, you know?

A (40:20)

Right. We have fun.

B (40:23)

Okay. Would you rather accidentally spit when you talk or always have dry mouth. Mid. Spence. Mid sentence.

A (40:33)

Always have dry mouth.

B (40:34)

Really?

A (40:35)

Spit really freaks me out. You can always. If you have dry mouth, then you just use a cough drop or, like, water. Water, I guess.

B (40:45)

Ooh. Would you rather spend one month in jail or one year on house arrest with no phone?

A (40:54)

Well, both would be no phone. One year in jail would be. Well, they didn't say no iPad, so I'm going house arrest. That sounds like a luxury vacation. I'm going to prison for 60 days. No phone.

B (41:05)

Sign me up, baby.

A (41:07)

No. For me, if it was like, real life, I'm going to jail for 60 days.

B (41:11)

Instead, it was only 30 days. Why are you giving yourself an extra 60. Oh, I would go to jail for a month. I think it would be better content.

A (41:20)

You'd come out with great and more character, that's all. That would. Jail stories, actually. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm doing that. I would, but I don't know. I would end up being somebody's. Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would.

B (41:33)

Yeah, you'd. You look so you'd fold real quick.

A (41:38)

Yeah, I would. I would fold.

B (41:40)

Yeah.

A (41:40)

No chance in hell for me. I can't even fight. He looks so sad. Because I. I know, like, I'm self aware enough to know just like when Becky looks sad. Thinking about single.

B (41:52)

Yeah. That, like, triggered me into a psychosis. Like, what would I do?

A (41:57)

You'd live your life.

B (41:58)

But it, like, wouldn't. It, like, wouldn't be possible. What do you mean it wouldn't be possible? I would fall, like, I would fall

A (42:06)

in love with somebody.

B (42:08)

Like, it, like, it wouldn't be possible to be single.

A (42:10)

Got you.

B (42:12)

I would search for that emotional connection, like, right away.

A (42:15)

Oh, I wouldn't.

B (42:16)

Oh, my God. Would you rather accidentally send your nudes to your family or. Or to your co workers?

A (42:24)

I'd rather send. I would send my nudes to my co workers. I've literally sent you nudes. I'm pretty sure I've sent you. Everybody has seen her nude.

B (42:30)

Yeah, true.

A (42:31)

Because I don't think it's for you. Yeah. What about you?

B (42:33)

I'd probably say my family, like, has

A (42:37)

your, like, what if your mom got them? Whatever.

B (42:40)

What the. Does she care?

A (42:41)

Okay, she birthed her.

B (42:43)

Yeah.

A (42:44)

Yeah. What about you?

B (42:46)

I've seen her naked. You know,

A (42:50)

immediate family.

B (42:52)

Yeah. My dad's dead, so that doesn't make

A (42:54)

it just my mom and my brother, so that's weird.

B (42:58)

You know what I mean?

A (42:59)

Co workers. I don't care if you guys see me naked. Yeah, I don't. I wouldn't care, but, like, have fake jobs. What? Wow.

B (43:06)

Fake jobs.

A (43:08)

She said it doesn't count because we have fake jobs.

B (43:10)

That's a good point.

A (43:11)

Off. Yeah. Literally, this job has taken 10 years off my life. Yeah. Seriously.

B (43:18)

Would you rather have your worst moment recorded? It was or it has or your best moment ignored?

A (43:27)

Both have happened to me. They're. They're both. Some of my worst moments are on. Are on the Internet or on Teen mom. And my. Some of my most important moments in my life were. Have been completely ignored. So both has. Have happened to me.

B (43:41)

She's so much fun, you guys. You know, What a joy. Hey, I'm having So much fun. I would rather my best moment be ignored. Yeah, like I harp on like the Miss my mistake so much that if something like that was recorded, I don't know how I'd survive.

A (44:03)

This episode of karma and chaos is brought to you by booking.com I've got to say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world. And for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's billion with a B. But here's the thing. Most vacation rental hosts don't even realize that they can list their properties on booking.com and if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of Booking.com travelers worldwide. After all, they can't book what they can't see, right? But once you start listing on booking.com, your property gets seen by a massive global audience of unique travelers. That means more visibility, more bookings, and more opportunity to accelerate the growth of your rental business. And it couldn't be any easier. You can register your property in as little as 15 minutes, and nearly half of hosts get their first booking within a week. So if your vacation rental isn't listed on booking.com, it could be invisible to millions of travelers searching the platform. Don't miss out on consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on book

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B (45:25)

Select homes only. I might need a nap before I drive home. Yeah.

A (45:35)

Honestly, I think that we should all petition teen mom to remove anything of us as minors off of the Internet. So all of it. Yeah. No, because we were we turned 18. Yeah.

B (45:47)

So none of the bad stuff would have been taken off. Yeah.

A (45:50)

True, true. Yeah. I'd love to go to the cave now.

B (45:55)

Somebody please take us to the cave. Hell yeah, brother.

A (46:02)

Oh, you suck at mcs. Ain't got nothing on me from my grades to my lines you can't touch Kevin G. I'm an athlete, I'm a nerd it's infer but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third Just shake it non start I'm Kevin to pour the G Is silent when I sneak in your door and making love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like, shuggy, you'll know it was me because the next time she see me, she'll be like, oh, Kevin G. And you say you have no talent.

B (46:25)

Did you take your message? Yes.

A (46:28)

Cuz I had a crush on Kevin G when I watched that movie. And now I.

B (46:31)

Of all people, you pick Kevin G. Why?

A (46:35)

You pick?

B (46:37)

Actually, yes, Kevin.

A (46:39)

But now I look back and I'm like, what? Why did I think he was so fine? Like, I thought he was so fine.

B (46:45)

Concerning.

A (46:45)

Honestly? No. Like, he's not cute, but honestly, I can't talk. My crush was a little weight. Oh, no, he's never fine. No, he was never fine. No. Have you heard him speak recently? He's given himself permanent auto tune from

B (47:01)

all the lean who.

A (47:04)

No, that has to affect you permanently at some point. I'm not joking. No drugs. Will you up and I'm gonna show you a prime example. Alessandra. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That came out wrong. That came out wrong. No, that came out wrong. I'm sorry, I. I meant to say Alessandra, I'm going to send you something.

B (47:26)

You're gonna show her the pictures?

A (47:28)

No, I was gonna show her. I want her to read. Is this like an intervention? Do you want me to stop smoking weed or something? You're like, this is what's gonna happen to you. It's like, like dare. You're going to sink into the couch and you're going to start sending Facebook messages.

B (47:52)

Oh, I forgot that she's high too.

A (47:54)

Oh, It's okay. I sound like a dolphin. Everybody always says that. The haters, the trolls. Love to say that. And shut that girl up. She sounds like a dolphin. Should we get dolphin tattoos?

B (48:09)

Let me ask you a question.

A (48:10)

Why are you upset with me?

B (48:12)

I'm not upset with you. Oh, would you rather drink a cup of pee or eat a bowl of toenails?

A (48:19)

I'd kill myself. That same girl if it's life or death. Right? Like, that's how I'm answering these questions. I'm not doing either one of those. You have to choose. Then it's the P. But I'm probably not. I'm just gonna off myself. Okay.

B (48:34)

I would also drink.

A (48:35)

Toenails is crazy. Toenails stink, dude. But like the. The. I'm gonna throw this. No, I can't. Move on. Move on. You need to answer the question and then move on.

B (48:42)

I literally said I would Drink the pee as well. Would you rather brush your teeth with mayonnaise or wash your hair with grease?

A (48:49)

Wash my hair with grease?

B (48:50)

Oh, I'd definitely brush my teeth with mayonnaise.

A (48:53)

You're not brushing your teeth. Then you're gonna have that film on that. You need a rag.

B (48:57)

Okay. Grease. That smell. That's a weird selection for you. Would you rather swim across a pool full of poop or roll naked through a pile of trash?

A (49:10)

I'm definitely rolling naked in the trash. But I need some more real life ones. You know, like, like I want to know if you would be. What would you rather be? Face to face with a crocodile or face to face with a shark?

B (49:25)

Crocodile.

A (49:26)

I'm going shark because I, they taught me how to like push them away and be away from them.

B (49:32)

Okay. Yeah.

A (49:33)

A crocodile will kill you just to kill you. A shark is only thinking you're food.

B (49:37)

Whatever. I'm definitely afraid of sharks. So there's.

A (49:39)

I'm definitely afraid of crocodiles and alligators.

B (49:41)

Okay. Would you rather drink or eat raw chicken?

A (49:44)

But you're wrong.

B (49:46)

I'm not wrong.

A (49:46)

You're wrong.

B (49:47)

There's literally.

A (49:49)

I'm gonna ask Chat GPT what the survival rate is for a shark and human versus shark and crocodile.

B (49:55)

Can we just google?

A (49:56)

Oh, never mind.

B (49:57)

Are we in water for both of

A (49:59)

these or you are both in water.

B (50:01)

It honestly makes me sick thinking about both.

A (50:05)

Okay. Humans have a better chance of surviving a shark attack than a crocodile or alligator attack. Shark versus human survival. Worldwide there are about 70 to 80 UNPRO unprovoked shark attacks per year. Usually between 5 and 10 are fatal. That means roughly 85 to 95% survival for alligator and crocodile. Fatal fatality rates are often 50% or higher. So this one says between 50 and 60%. And for example one study found that a 10 foot crocodile the survival is around 81%. But a 13 foot crocodile goes drops down to 17%. If the crocodile is over 14ft, the survival rate is under 5%. Crocsing why? Crocs and gators are deadlier. Sharks often bite and release. They mistake you for prey. Do not always continue attacking. Where crocodiles and alligators grab and hold on. They try to drag you under the water. They use the death roll and they aim to drown first. So if we're talking average odds, shark attack is a much better chance of survival. An alligator crocodile is much worse, especially in water. Also you don't think they're more scary looking? Okay. Cuz you can't see them.

B (51:18)

First of all, when I Imagined the scenario. I imagined myself on land against the crocodile. It wasn't until after we confirmed that we're in water for both, but I

A (51:28)

st. Like, like, it's the size maybe.

B (51:31)

I don't know, man.

A (51:32)

But, like, I feel like it's scary because if you're with, like, a shock, a shark, you can see it, but with, like, in theory. And then with, like, a crocodile or an alligator, you also don't ever see it coming because they blend right in. So that's even scarier. Like the unknown.

B (51:47)

Yeah.

A (51:47)

You know what's really up is hippos. Yeah. Yeah, hippos are up. An animal that big should not be able to run that fast. They don't swim. They run. They run. They hit the bottom of whatever floor they' last.

B (52:01)

Kale ran outside.

A (52:07)

Why did you laugh? Like, did you see kale run outside?

B (52:18)

I think that's enough of Would you rathers. What do you. What do you think?

A (52:21)

Maybe not.

B (52:22)

You want another one?

A (52:23)

I mean, we still have time. We do. And this is what you were dying on the hill of. Would you rather for this episode? So, what, 45 minutes and 50 seconds and you decided we're not doing it anymore?

B (52:35)

Yeah, that sounds about right.

A (52:36)

No.

B (52:37)

Okay. Would you rather eat a dead bug sandwich or drink mystery fridge liquid?

A (52:43)

I probably ate bugs and all those mud pies, so I'll go with the bugs.

B (52:47)

Remember when we were gonna go on Fear Factor?

A (52:49)

Yeah. Well, we should do Fear Factor on tour.

B (52:53)

Who was going on Fear Factor back in the day? Yeah, we applied. Okay.

A (53:01)

I think we could do it. All I remember from Fear Factor is one time watching a guy eat bull testicles.

B (53:06)

Oh, we could take some bits off of, like, late night shows.

A (53:11)

Okay.

B (53:12)

Before the tour.

A (53:13)

Yeah.

B (53:13)

Like, where you stick your hand in a box and guess what it is.

A (53:16)

Yeah, I would love that.

B (53:18)

Or like, like the. Where you have to, like, say something you've done and you have to, like, guess if they're lying. We should take some bits.

A (53:24)

What is that one?

B (53:25)

It's like you're reading a card like, of. I don't know how to explain it. I'll have to find, like, clips of it.

A (53:33)

Should we film a hot ones challenge? Yeah, that would be so fun. They have. They sell the hot one sauces.

B (53:41)

I would win that.

A (53:42)

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I was crying about Dave's hot chicken. It would be drooling. I would be literally crying.

B (53:49)

Literally.

A (53:50)

Are you farting?

B (53:50)

Yes, I did fart.

A (53:53)

Does anybody have any fun stories? Fun stories?

B (53:56)

Oh, I have a fun story.

A (53:58)

Okay. Cuz hers are just going to be trauma. I mean I do be trying though.

B (54:02)

So yeah, I'm over the. Would you rather. You know, it's just a lot of pressure on me to make sure that I'm picking good ones.

A (54:11)

Yeah, you carry the show.

B (54:12)

Yeah,

A (54:17)

This one's for all my TV lovers. My entertainment from DirecTV gets you 60 plus channels and Disney Plus, Hulu and HBO Max all in one pack. But here's the thing. With so much great TV in my entertainment, you're going to want to talk about everything you've been watching. Just a reminder that your friends might not be as well watched as you. Don't be a spoiler and encourage them to get my Entertainment just for 34.99 per month. Go to directtv.com genre packs and sign up today. New customers only. Service renews monthly unless cancele credit card required conditions apply to app HBO Max Basic with ads begins after DirecTV 5 day trial. Learn more@directtv.com Restriction.

B (55:03)

And now I'm going to carry it more. So this one time I was in Philadelphia and I was walking down the street after the bar, it was really late and this unhoused person came by on a bicycle and I asked him if he could drive me to Wawa on it. So I hopped on the bike of it and I was waving to my friends goodbye. And so I'm on the bicycle and this guy's pedaling me to Wawa Dream. No, this is real life. And so at Wawa, he brought me to his Wawa. It wasn't the closest Wawa. His friends were at the Wawa.

A (55:40)

Why did you do this?

B (55:41)

And so we go. And so we go into his Wawa and I buy them all food, all of him and his friends.

A (55:50)

And then where are his friends? Where did they come from?

B (55:51)

They were outside the Wawa.

A (55:53)

Are they also unhomed?

B (55:55)

Some of them. Not all of them.

A (55:56)

Okay.

B (55:57)

They were all probably on drugs.

A (55:59)

Okay.

B (56:00)

Not all of them, right. But you know what I mean. Anyway, I buy them all food. And then I was outside and I'm. And I met this younger guy that was with them. And he's like talking to me. We're going back and forth. He's telling me how he's killed people and like all this crazy and we like hit it off, we become friends, we become buddies, right? And so he this and I go on my merry way. I go home, I leave, I say my Aua farewell, goodbye. Bought them all sandwiches. Listen to this. You will never guess what happens next.

A (56:35)

No I never guess what was happening. No, definitely not from the beginning of this story.

B (56:42)

So, couple months go by and I'm back in the city. I actually think it was like either outfest. It was in October and I'm walking down an alleyway. It was like a sketchy alleyway in Philly. And I look up and like there's Pete. Like a bunch of dudes hanging out on a fire escape. And they start like yelling stuff and like yelling stuff at me. And I'm like, like, this is sketchy. Like this. I should turn. And I'm like, you know, everything's gonna be fine. So I keep walking and one of the dudes jumped down and he like says something and then we made eye contact and it was the dude from outside of Wawa. So excited to see each other. And like, it was just like this really warm, welcoming. And I was safe because he protected me. And that was my story.

A (57:33)

Were you suicidal?

B (57:35)

No.

A (57:35)

You had a death wish?

B (57:38)

No.

A (57:39)

You're stressful.

B (57:40)

I just trust myself to be able to handle situations.

A (57:47)

But you weren't driving the bus.

B (57:49)

Like, oh, that. What do you mean oh, that?

A (57:54)

And it was like he didn't take me to the closest Wawa. He took me to a different Wawa. All about people he killed. And then he became friends.

B (58:04)

Different person.

A (58:05)

So the one that killed people. No, I, I. Regardless, I mean, you're right. You would have stressed me the out if we were friends back then. Then. Cuz I have a feeling like the way you just said that so nonchalantly. The way that Kale talks about her trauma is like. Because you were doing crazy like, like

B (58:22)

that all the time. Oh, for. Yeah, for sure. The, the amount of random people, like the place, places I've been is insane. Like that was a crazy story. Yeah, that was fun time. Yeah.

A (58:39)

Are you, are you okay? Are you good? Good.

B (58:42)

Yeah.

A (58:43)

Speaking of trauma, the. Did I tell you this already? That the, the false. The neighbor that took care of me is coming to the our Philly show?

B (58:54)

Yeah.

A (58:54)

Okay. I just wanted to make sure I told you so you can meet her in real life.

B (58:57)

Yeah.

A (58:58)

Okay.

B (58:59)

Is that it?

A (59:00)

Yeah, I was just thinking about it. Cool. Love that. Weird things. Becky and I were offered $5 million to do a lesbian porn. Porn. We know. And also I'm really upset at you. Well, it would have been gone because

B (59:16)

I, like, how would it have been split? And then like I was just graduating college, about to start my career.

A (59:24)

My. I had kids. You know what I mean? 5 million wouldn't be enough. Now I Would have to add a zero on the end.

B (59:30)

Do you know what really brings me so much happiness?

A (59:33)

What?

B (59:34)

Being a part of someone's Instagram dump.

A (59:37)

Dumps.

B (59:37)

Anytime I see myself in someone's little Instagram dump, boy, does that bring a smile to my face.

A (59:43)

Oh, I love that. That's really sweet.

B (59:46)

Yeah.

A (59:46)

I was a part of your Instagram dump recently. Thank you for that.

B (59:49)

You're welcome.

A (59:52)

I don't do my own posts, so sorry about that.

B (59:57)

Sure.

A (59:57)

Roundup. Kayla, when you see this, can you please incorporate Becky a little bit more? Thank you. She does does. Yeah, she does. But in case you didn't see it, we'll include you more. Thank you.

B (60:07)

I'll post you any day.

A (60:08)

Thank you. I will also post you.

B (60:09)

Sometimes people ask why you're posted more than my wife, so that's not true, though. I don't think it's true.

A (60:16)

So dramatic.

B (60:17)

But it is funny because Lee and I don't take pictures anymore together.

A (60:20)

Well, y' all are busy.

B (60:22)

Well, we just take pictures of the kid, you know?

A (60:25)

Yeah, I could see that.

B (60:26)

Like, I don't. If my kid was here, I'd be taking pictures of him.

A (60:29)

Right?

B (60:29)

You know?

A (60:30)

Yeah. Things change.

B (60:31)

Yeah, things do change.

A (60:32)

Okay, well, we don't have any. Is it karma or is it chaos?

B (60:35)

We didn't do one the last two episodes either.

A (60:37)

Well, we had a guest, and then also, it's just been a little bit chaotic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't forget to go buy your tour tickets and follow for the haters on Instagram and follow subscribe on Spotify and Apple.

B (60:51)

Happy to be here. Happy to be in your life. Love you here.

A (60:54)

Love you so much.

B (60:54)

Love you guys.

A (60:55)

See you.

B (60:55)

This episode felt like a guided trip.

A (61:14)

Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it. And we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on klow.com. and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon, because you might get it before everyone else.

B (61:40)

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got.

A (61:46)

This is the mindset free. This is the mantra. With movies like Pineapple Express, the entire

B (61:55)

Star Trek film franchise and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV stream now pay. Never. Hi, I'm Lauren.

A (62:13)

And I'm Chandler.

B (62:14)

And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist Podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real Housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for Pop Apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celeb podcast.