This Is A Business Podcast Now

Summary

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter - Episode Summary: "This Is A Business Podcast Now"

Release Date: January 21, 2025

In the episode titled "This Is A Business Podcast Now," hosts Kail Lowry (referred to as Kale) and Becky Hayter delve into a blend of personal anecdotes, listener interactions, and business insights, all while navigating the delicate balance between karma and chaos in their lives.

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1. Engaging with Listeners and Building Community

The episode kicks off with Kale addressing their audience's feedback from Instagram stories, urging listeners to tag friends and share the podcast to expand their community. He says, “[00:27] I got on my Instagram stories this morning, and I was like, if you guys have not listened to Carmine Chaos, can you guys tell me why?” This interaction sets a collaborative tone, emphasizing the importance of community support for the podcast's growth.

2. Responding to Audience Comments

Kale and Becky review and react to various listener comments, injecting humor and camaraderie into their discussion. They play a quick game of "Never Have I Ever," showcasing their playful dynamic. Becky remarks, “[01:26] I would lose. I think I've experienced more life than you have,” highlighting their friendly banter and deep-seated friendship.

3. Navigating Content Balance: Deep vs. Light-Hearted Topics

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the challenge of balancing deep, meaningful content with light-hearted, relatable topics. Kale expresses frustration over audience feedback stating the podcast is either too deep or too superficial. “[03:05] We swing both ways,” Becky responds, acknowledging their multifaceted approach. They lament the difficulty in pleasing every listener, with Kale stating, “[03:10] We do. I mean, I do. We swing both ways.”

4. The Impact of Social Media Platforms like TikTok

Kale shares his nuanced perspective on TikTok's influence, acknowledging its positive impact on content creators who utilize the platform to share valuable resources and personal stories. “[06:15] If anyone doesn't listen to my other podcast and they come here to listen, I can recognize that TikTok has changed other people's lives,” he explains. They discuss the platform's role in giving a voice to marginalized individuals and its potential for fostering community support.

5. Introducing the "Karma vs. Chaos" Segment

Responding to audience suggestions, Kale and Becky consider launching a new segment titled "Karma vs. Chaos." The idea is to categorize listener-submitted stories based on whether they exemplify karma or chaos. “[07:33] Someone put on the Facebook that we should start doing our segment, like our own little segment that's, is it karma or chaos,” Kale muses. This segment aims to engage listeners in thoughtful reflections on life's unpredictability.

6. Exploring the Concept of Karma

The hosts engage in a philosophical discussion about karma, debating whether good intentions that lead to unintended messy outcomes still result in positive karma. Becky suggests, “[08:13] I think it's like, what are you putting out there. That's what you're getting back.” They explore scenarios where actions may not align with their intended outcomes, pondering the fairness and personal nature of karma.

7. Personal Reflections and Self-Comparison in Business

Kale expresses feelings of inadequacy when comparing his entrepreneurial journey to peers who have successfully rebranded themselves after reality TV fame. “[28:36] I sort of compare myself to the people who have come from a similar situation and they get the full rebrand. What is it? Was I not relevant enough enough...” Becky reassures him by highlighting his unique path and the importance of building a life that he loves, free from constant comparison.

8. Parenting Stories and Challenges

Both hosts share endearing and challenging moments from their parenting experiences. Becky recounts her child's adaptation to her pregnancy, while Kale discusses his children's unique personalities and the nuances of discipline. “[50:43] He's four and a half. Everything is good,” Kale assures, providing a heartfelt glimpse into their family lives.

9. Business Advice and Entrepreneurial Insights

Transitioning into their "business podcast" role, Kale and Becky offer practical advice for aspiring entrepreneurs. They promote Shopify as an essential tool for building an online store, emphasizing its user-friendly features. Becky extols Shopify's benefits, saying, “[32:50] I have used Shopify hundreds of times to help my clients build out their shop. It is a great e-commerce solution and a great, easy way to make money.” They encourage listeners to take actionable steps toward their business ideas, highlighting resources and strategies for success.

10. Handling Personal Challenges and Vulnerability

The episode also touches on personal struggles, such as Kale's ongoing battle with anxiety rooted in past familial instability. “[38:18] I live in a constant state of fear that everything will be taken from me,” he confides. Becky offers support and practical advice, suggesting that building a secure support system can alleviate some of these fears. Their candid conversation fosters a sense of authenticity and relatability, resonating deeply with listeners facing similar challenges.

11. Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

As the episode wraps up, Kale and Becky reflect on their journey and the importance of authenticity in both personal and professional spheres. They reaffirm their commitment to supporting each other and their listeners, concluding with plans to expand their social media presence and engage more deeply with their community.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kale: “[00:27] I got on my Instagram stories this morning, and I was like, if you guys have not listened to Carmine Chaos, can you guys tell me why?”

• Becky: “[03:05] We swing both ways.”

• Kale: “[07:24] But you need a T shirt that just says, can we tell that story?”

• Becky: “[28:48] Because I think your time is coming. I don't think that any time before this you would have been ready for your time to come.”

• Kale: “[37:34] And Curtis says I'm his like, yeah, he loves me so much. Like, I don't. And then.”

• Becky: “[44:27] And if anyone has a business idea, wants to bring it to us. This is a business podcast now.”

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Conclusion

In "This Is A Business Podcast Now," Kale and Becky seamlessly intertwine personal stories with business insights, offering listeners a multifaceted perspective on navigating modern adulthood. Their honest discussions about karma, business challenges, and parenting provide both entertainment and valuable takeaways, embodying the essence of their podcast's title. By fostering a supportive community and encouraging entrepreneurial spirit, Kale and Becky continue to inspire their listeners to embrace both the karma and chaos that life presents.

Transcript

[Kale]

Foreign.

[Becky]

Hello and welcome back to the show. Welcome back to Karma and Chaos with Kale and Becky.

[Kale]

I got on my Instagram stories this morning, and I was like, if you guys have not listened to Carmine Chaos, can you guys tell me why? And what would it take to get you guys to listen to Karma and Chaos? Like, just to give us a chance. Like, maybe you listen to podcasts, but not Karma and Chaos. Or maybe you don't listen to podcasts at all. What would it take to get them to listen to Karma and Chaos?

[Becky]

Yeah, I. I tag your friends.

[Kale]

Please tag your friends. If you like our podcast, please send it to someone.

[Becky]

If you want more of us, help us.

[Kale]

You're like, if you want us to continue, you have to.

[Becky]

If you want us to do. I'll make Kale do a meet and greet and kiss every single one of you on your foreheads.

[Kale]

Oh. These are some of the responses. Are you ready?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

The first one, it says you're a narcissist, so that's good. Some of these are. I can't read out loud. Play the game. Never have I ever. That would be funny.

[Becky]

I would. I think I would lose. I think I've experienced more life than you have.

[Kale]

I agree.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So for the simple fact that now I need to prove you wrong, we're gonna play Never have I ever. Right now, I guess it depend, like.

[Becky]

It'S like easy outs for if I say something like, around just like, not growing up with a dad. Not like simple things like that.

[Kale]

But like, how many countries have you been to?

[Becky]

14.

[Kale]

Okay. I think I beat you. Or I. Or I'm roughly the same. Guess the next country we go to is together.

[Becky]

Oh, no, I've been there.

[Kale]

But Scotland.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's where I'm from.

[Kale]

They want to hear about your. Your journey with GLP1s. They want to hear more about that. Maybe not today, but we'll get to it. Okay. And let's see. The next question I asked was, what would it take to get you to listen? I want to watch on YouTube. People don't know how to listen. I would rather watch. Interesting. So a lot of the people are wanting to see it.

[Becky]

Yeah. Maybe we can do some, like, short sponsored YouTube clips.

[Kale]

Maybe we just take it off Patreon and put it on YouTube. Re intro. Becky. I haven't listened because I'm not familiar with who she is. So maybe we do a whole video on just that. Like, you do a whole video on that. It seems too emotional. And therapy. I won't have fun listening not go deep. So they just want, like, light hearted. I feel like we have such a combination of, like, deep and light hearted. And I think that we're being maybe misrepresented or people are only, like, thinking it's one way and not another. I would like for people to know that we are. We do both ends of the spectrum. Like all. All.

[Becky]

We swing both ways.

[Kale]

We do. I mean, I do. We swing both ways.

[Becky]

Yeah. And it's hard to please everyone, right? Because, like, there's an equal amount of comments that come in that say it's too deep, make it light hearted. And, like, half the people are like, we miss the deep content. Like, we want to cry as well. So we can't please anyone, but we're trying to please everyone.

[Kale]

Before you came downstairs, Alessandra, she was like, traumatic things are not happening every day. Yeah.

[Becky]

It's like, thank God.

[Kale]

Maybe to me, I'm the traumatic event. Just a walking one.

[Becky]

Yeah. I feel like there's room for growth in just presentation. Right. Like, I think we can do a lot of fun stuff together.

[Kale]

Like your pants.

[Becky]

Thank you. They're probably from Teemo.

[Kale]

No, don't tell the government. Don't tell the government. That's a Chinese app.

[Becky]

Did you get on Red Note yet?

[Kale]

Yeah. I love it, though. They're so friendly. Yeah, we're gonna really taint the Chinese culture.

[Becky]

No, I think.

[Kale]

No, we're gonna them up. They're not ready.

[Becky]

How do you say hello in Chinese?

[Kale]

I've Nihau.

[Becky]

Nihau.

[Kale]

No, that's Japanese, I think.

[Becky]

God.

[Kale]

Remember Nihau Kailan. Do you remember? It was like. Like Dora the explorer and then they had Nihau Kailan. Do you remember that? But I think that's Japanese.

[Becky]

No, I don't. Is it?

[Kale]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it was so cute. I don't know why they.

[Becky]

Did you watch it or did your kids watch it?

[Kale]

I tried to get Isaac. It came. It was out there around the time that Isaac was born. And so I was trying to get him interested. Oh, my gosh. Let me Google. Hold on. Because I loved. I'm pretty sure it's Japanese. I can't believe you don't remember. And I loved that her name was so close to mine. Like, I was like, famous.

[Becky]

Why would I remember that?

[Kale]

You have. You had. You have a niece that's the same age as Isaac. Yeah.

[Becky]

No, but I wasn't watching Kylie. She's so excited.

[Kale]

Is it Japanese? I loved her. So freaking cute.

[Becky]

Cute.

[Kale]

So cute.

[Becky]

So cute.

[Kale]

But I also loved getting On Red Note, it sort of. It looks like Tick Tock.

[Becky]

I think they changed it, though.

[Kale]

They did. They changed it. But I also. And we've been talking about the Tick Tock band left and right, but I.

[Becky]

Don'T think it's gonna.

[Kale]

I also have never thought it was going to happen, but then it scared.

[Becky]

Me because just the band is happening. I. I saw that. It doesn't mean it's like your app is still going to be there and you can still use it. It's just. It's not going to be updated moving forward.

[Kale]

Got it. Okay.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Well, I was wondering for like, Americans living abroad, what does that look like? Because I guess if you have. If you got your phone in America and you're technically an American citizen, what does that mean? If you're, like, having access to somewhere else. Okay.

[Becky]

And people say you can, like, get a VPN too, to. But it's not that serious.

[Kale]

I'm not gonna. Here's the thing. I recognize that, and I've said this, you know, on a couple different podcasts, but, you know, it still stands. If anyone doesn't listen to my other podcast and they come here to listen, I can recognize that Tick Tock has changed other people's lives. It has not changed my life, but a thousand percent. I want to speak for those that it does impact and it does affect, and I don't think that's okay. And there are, you know, I specifically keep referencing a single mom that I follow on Tick Tock who goes to the food bank, and she teaches people about the resources that she uses as a single mom who's living in poverty. And I see the views and I know she has to be monetizing them. And I hope that it is changing her life so that she doesn't have to use a food bank one day. And so I recognize for, you know, people like her or, you know, just any, I. I also follow an attorney who takes care of his father who has dementia, and they do videos on, you know, about dementia and stuff like that. And I can recognize that that's probably keeping him being able to improve that. Yeah. Because I don't know them, but, like, do they have, you know, elderly, what, like a care plan? Do you know what I mean? So, like, I can recognize how it.

[Becky]

Changes people's lives, even, like, mentally. It probably helps him get through it, people.

[Kale]

Because when you feel so alone in your real life and you go on an app like Tick Tock and you're seeing other people going through the same thing or other People who have experienced the same thing and came out the other side.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You know, I want to give them a voice, and so I just. I really hope it doesn't go through. But outside of that, you brought up a good point of somebody mentioned doing karma and chaos segment.

[Becky]

Oh, is it karma or chaos? Yeah. Someone put on the Facebook that we should start doing our segment, like our own little segment that's. Is it karma or chaos? Where someone sends in a story and then at the end, we answer if it's karma or chaos.

[Kale]

Yesterday, when I was getting hair makeup done, I was talking to the girls and I was like, do you think that people get karma for something where their intentions were pure but the outcome was messy? As. Do you think you get karma for that?

[Becky]

I think the universe just knows what you deserve. I think it's like, what? Like, what are you putting out there? That's what you're getting back.

[Kale]

Can't think of an example off the top of my head. Right. But like, you know, as a human being, like, if you're. You're trying to be, you know, vengeful, or you're trying to be an. Or you're trying to be malicious intent.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

But you need a T shirt that.

[Becky]

Just says, can we tell that story? Yeah.

[Kale]

Did I. Did you guys get the.

[Becky]

Oh, I have a. I have a present for you.

[Kale]

You do?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I'm scared.

[Becky]

Do you want it?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Here. It's okay. Next time.

[Kale]

Is it a hatchback?

[Becky]

For those listening, I just gave Kayla's shirt that has a stretch.

[Kale]

It was malicious intent. Someone wanted to embarrass me.

[Becky]

Thank you.

[Kale]

I love it. I want to wear this on the next episode. I did forget the shirt that I had ordered specifically for this episode. I have to. You're not ready.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Kale]

I love this. Thank you for my present.

[Becky]

You're welcome. Also, I just want to let you know the. How hard I've tried to find a Royal Farms apparel. It's really hard to find.

[Kale]

They don't have merch. No.

[Becky]

It's like Royal Farms.

[Kale]

Truly.

[Becky]

Anyhow. All right.

[Kale]

No, because here's the thing. I don't want to see Mata touch. We just got done talking about how Tick Tock has changed lives. And, like, financially speaking, it has. Right. But so when I come into the city, I used to drive my big ass Suburban, or now I have a Yukon now. It does. It actually is cheaper for me to hire a driver. So I have Paul. Paul's been my driver for several months now, and I absolutely love Paul. Shout out to Paul, if you're listening or if any of your kids are listening. He also has seven kids. He always tells me how much to tip him. Like, he always like, gives me. Like, I'm like, oh, what do I have to tip you? So we stop at Royal Farms because it's on the way out into the city and so we stop at Royal Farms and like, I don't have the heart to tell him, like, I need you to go the other way because I need to stop at Wawa instead, you know? Yeah, so I do. I have been. But it's only for the atm. I don't buy anything while I'm in there because I'm not supporting Rofo Robo. I'm not.

[Becky]

Elijah Scott Williams would be very disappointed.

[Kale]

I know. He's like, make sure Paul gets gas there. No. Yeah, we're not. All right, let's talk about weight loss because we know that it can feel overwhelming. And that's why hers is changing the game. By providing access to GLP1 medications +expert care, they make your goals more achievable. HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.

[Becky]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

I feel like I need a situation because I just can't comp.

[Kale]

Like. Okay, all right, let me give you a situation. I mean, I'll make one up. It's not mine. Well, I could give you one of mine, but.

[Becky]

Okay, I have an example. Like, if I found out that my best friend's significant other was cheating on them and I went to them because, like, that's what I thought was happening, but in reality, it's not what was happening. My intentions were good.

[Kale]

Also not a good example, because I. My therapist has always maintained and I've always maintained that it's not your business to tell no matter what, because of that reason alone is that you don't know for sure what the circle.

[Becky]

I think it's a great example because I. I don't think that that person deserves bad karma.

[Kale]

Well, I guess it would go.

[Becky]

It depends on the intentions behind it.

[Kale]

Whether you tell them, whether you don't tell them, or whether they weren't cheating and you still tell them or don't tell them all of the, I guess all of the outcomes. It depends what your intent is. Right. Okay. So fair. If your intentions were pure, no matter what you decided, you're like, I didn't want to get involved because I didn't want to be the messenger. I didn't want to be the reason you do or don't have this conflict in your relationship or you guys break up or whatever the case is. I guess it would come down to your intentions.

[Becky]

And like, if you're. If you're hiding someone's secret and it really hurts someone, I think that is bad karma.

[Kale]

Okay. But then that leads me to the next question is, so if someone's cheating and you don't tell them and you're like.

[Becky]

And you know, it's like, okay, what about.

[Kale]

This is what I was going to say. What about the people who are don't have self awareness and they truly have no self reflection skills. And so they'll say until. They'll say it until they're blue in the face that they weren't being messy, but you know for a fact they were being messy. Like, you're. You have no dog in this fight. Why are you saying anything or not saying anything? You're messy.

[Becky]

I think karma is different for every person.

[Kale]

Fair.

[Becky]

Because like, what I value in the morals I hold are a lot different than the morals that someone else holds.

[Kale]

Okay. So karma caters to the person.

[Becky]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Because I could do something and I could feel like, wow, that makes me feel like such A terrible person. But other people might not even think twice about it because it's just a part of their daily life.

[Kale]

I feel like I've gotten karma tenfold for my. My bad juju that I've put out. So it's like, where's the limit? You know what I mean? Where's the. Like, I've already got the karma, so why are. Why do you keep going?

[Becky]

I mean, that's something you have to ask yourself in the mirror.

[Kale]

Like, no, because I'm pissed. It's like, I've made shitty decisions.

[Becky]

Well, unfortunately for you, your shitty decisions are permanent.

[Kale]

In what way?

[Becky]

In the people that you have to deal with because you have a mutual child together.

[Kale]

But I don't even think that that's necessarily karma. Right? Like, okay, for example, I think it's karma, people.

[Becky]

I think that, like, your relationship choices led to karma of, like, you treating people that deserved good badly and then you getting treated badly from bad people.

[Kale]

1,000%. There's two people in particular. I talk about this all the time. I treated them like they didn't deserve it.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's karma.

[Kale]

Karma tenfold. Y'all can stop now. The universe can stop, but it just doesn't. Because now I've. I've acknowledged, I've reflected. I still acknowledge and reflect on those things. I still. Like, I would. If I saw them out on the street today, I would literally go up to them and I would say, I'm really sorry for how you treated, like, how I treated you. Like, you didn't deserve that. And I'm. I'm sorry. I hope that you're happy. Like, I'm. I hope that you have found happiness and, you know, all of those things. Like, I would truly, from the bottom of my heart.

[Becky]

Yeah. You're on your road to redemption.

[Kale]

So, like, when you're on the road to redemption, at what point does karma say you've had enough?

[Becky]

Yeah, but it's not like you just left bad exes in the past. Like, you have to co parent with them now. No, like the ones that you have to co parent with.

[Kale]

So I get a lifetime of karma for of two or three year horrible relationship.

[Becky]

Yep.

[Kale]

Okay. That's how it works.

[Becky]

That's unfortunate for you. Like, I don't have bad. I don't have to. No.

[Kale]

Why do I have to. Why do I have to have a lifetime of karma for someone that I'm not with anymore? That I don't have a child with is what I'm saying.

[Becky]

Oh, you don't?

[Kale]

But, like, But I am. Because I read the comments. They're like so and so is kills karma. And it's like you, I've been dealing with this. With this.

[Becky]

You decided to have a kid with them.

[Kale]

No, but they'll say this is her karma for how she treated so and so. Oh, and it's like that's not the same.

[Becky]

Yeah, like.

[Kale]

Okay, we'll use as an example. Right? And I were together for a couple years.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

If I had karma for those same amount of years. Okay, fine, I'll take it.

[Becky]

I don't think.

[Kale]

But when you're giving me for a hundred years for make that make sense.

[Becky]

I don't think karma keeps tally on years.

[Kale]

I don't think we're on the same page with that. Do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

Yes, I do. I just don't think we look at it the same.

[Kale]

How else is there to look at?

[Becky]

Because you could have had the same amount of year relationship but you made a permanent decision.

[Kale]

No, no. I don't get it. I don't know if I believe in the universe anymore. I think I'm just. I am the floating rock. I have no idea what's going on.

[Becky]

What is it? Radical acceptance?

[Kale]

What is that?

[Becky]

It's like just talk. Like you just accept what it is and find positive ways to move forward. And you like, like all positiveness.

[Kale]

I mean, I'm making jokes about it, but I do. I try to make the best of it and do what I like, work with what I have.

[Becky]

I broke my pinky and I just hit it.

[Kale]

Is it currently broken?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Do you need.

[Becky]

No, it's okay. Sorry.

[Kale]

Keep going. So we're breaking pinkies. Basketball last night?

[Becky]

No, a couple. Like last week actually.

[Kale]

That looks up.

[Becky]

Yeah, I just hit it. Keep going. Sorry. You know what I don't miss at all? That vicious week before the period when I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Skin that was covered in pimples, mind you. And the cravings. Oh my God. I could have eaten my own hand if it was rolled in batter and deep fried. Now, now, it's easier to manage PMS with estro control.

[Kale]

Estro control is a formula developed by Happy Mammoth, a supplement company dedicated to making women's lives easier. Estro control contains science backed herbal extracts and help support hormonal health, especially in women who suffer from PMS like myself. And the way estro control eases PMS is actually interesting. So the ingredients help support the liver and that's where our hormones get processed, especially estrogen. We actually Talked about this last night. So when the estrogen isn't processed well in the liver, women may start having the pms, the spots on the skin, and they cravings and feel low all of a sudden. So this was created to help women feel like themselves all throughout the month.

[Becky]

Estro control is made specifically for women who are premenopausal, so it's perfect for women that haven't entered menopause yet. In fact, it's amazing for premenopause when hormones start to fluctuate and PMS can turn into a beast.

[Kale]

For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire first order@happy mammoth.com. just use the code karma at checkout.

[Becky]

So I went on that. I went on Lesbiana's podcast, right?

[Kale]

Oh, how did that go?

[Becky]

It went so well. If you're listening, you should listen to episode because I was able to, like, speak about myself and speak about my coming out experience and blah, blah, blah and all that. And that was great. But she asked a question that is. Is probably the hardest question for me to answer and hardest question for me to think through. And I don't know if we've talked about this here. I think we might have talked about it outside of this, but, like, she asked what was. I forget how she worded it. Something about, like, my, like, how I label myself and what my. Like how I identify and my sexuality. And that question is so hard for.

[Kale]

Me because you have to have a label and.

[Becky]

No, you don't. And some people don't, right? But some people need labels because they find a sense of community in it. They find, like, a place that they're like, oh, this is why I act or feel like this. So it gives them like, a home. So labels aren't always necessary, but. So I like to use queer. Like, when I identify, you just drop.

[Kale]

I'm hungry.

[Becky]

I like to use queer because if I think too much into it, I don't think that I would identify as a lesbian.

[Kale]

I would. Jake asked me that yesterday.

[Becky]

Like, how do you identify?

[Kale]

He asked me if I identify as queer.

[Becky]

I think, yeah, because I don't think. And I said this on that podcast. I've never had the opportunity to explore my sexuality because I've always been in a relationship, right? So I've never really, like, I've only been with CIS women. I've only been with CIS men. I've never been outside of that, like those people. But I think that I would date outside of that if I wasn't in a relationship. And. But I don't need to think about it because I'm in a committed relationship, so.

[Kale]

Right. No, no, I know what you're saying when you say that you would date outside of that. In what way? You would date another person that identifies as a lesbian?

[Becky]

No, like, I think I would date a trans woman. I think, like, obviously I would date non binary people. So I don't, I don't fudgeing know, like, would I date a trans man? Maybe. I don't know.

[Kale]

I, I, I would say fluid.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I just don't give a, like if I, that's what I mean. We get along and we're good people. Like, I don't give.

[Becky]

That's why I like to use queer.

[Kale]

So when Jake asked me yesterday on the podcast, I, and I don't know when that'll air, so it's coming. But it will be on Barely Famous. I just have never identified as anything. And then Alessandra was like, more pan, like fluid. I don't give a single fudge. Like a human is a human.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You don't care.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's why I like to use the worm queer.

[Kale]

So queer is all, every, all of them. Yeah, you're just like all of the.

[Becky]

You'Re just a little homosexual, you know?

[Kale]

Okay, fair.

[Becky]

But I thought it was a good question and it was a really great conversation. Well, I'm glad we talked about you a little bit.

[Kale]

Oh, yeah? What'd you say?

[Becky]

She just asked me about my experience with Teen mom in the beginning and like, what that was like.

[Kale]

Yeah, that's. I think a lot of people still want to know, but I think the landscape of reality TV has changed. I don't know for better or for worse, but I think it's definitely changed over the years. So what was the beginning? Experience was very different than how it ended. In some ways.

[Becky]

We, we really need to shout out to. I forget her name and I'm really sorry, but I love you. She sent over every single episode that I appeared in. Oh, Heather.

[Kale]

Heather Lohmire is a queen.

[Becky]

Yeah. We need to do like a watch of that. We need to like, watch through them.

[Kale]

Heather tagged me in an episode of Teen Mom Reunion that I did with spite with that I did with Spencer Pratt. And I said, I don't even remember doing this.

[Becky]

Interesting.

[Kale]

Yeah. So it's like, let's get Spidey on the pod. But they're too famous for us now. They're, they're like beyond reality TV at this point. Did you watch the Hills?

[Becky]

I didn't like I. I didn't really watch anything. I didn't really watch much. I watched Real World a lot. Maybe a lot because, like, the challenges and stuff.

[Kale]

They have their own app and podcast. Who the challenge?

[Becky]

Oh, yeah, I didn't really watch, but. But yeah, it was good. It was fun. I like going on other podcasts. It like, makes me feel, like, useful almost to like, share shed.

[Kale]

Who the is that? Oh, just kidding. That's how people think I am all the time. I know. That's that. We should do a compilation. We should really watch back episodes of Teen Mom.

[Becky]

I think it would be funny.

[Kale]

I.

[Becky]

Because I don't remember any of it.

[Kale]

I don't remember recent things.

[Becky]

Do you look at. At people that watch your stories on stuff? I've. So I've never been a per. Like, I don't ever. I'm not like, looking to see who watches, but some people are, like, obsessed with looking through everything. And I don't know how that started. Right. Like, I don't. Not that, like, I enjoy that people get to watch what I'm. I'm posting, but, like, I don't like, like, look for specific people to see.

[Kale]

I have never had the ability to. Because there's too many. They wouldn't come. Like, not to be a dick, but whoever I'm looking to see, if they saw it.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Would not show up for me because of how many story views I get. I also know that even if they don't look, they're gonna see it because someone's gonna send it to them. So if the shoe fits.

[Becky]

Do you. Do you feel like you compare yourself to people on social media?

[Kale]

Yes and no. I compare myself to a very select, like, I would say a handful or less of people that I know in real life. And that's what me up. Because it's. They are other people like me that have come from reality tv and I know them in real life. And I was talking about this yesterday off the air and off camera. It was like, it's like, you know, I'll use Trisha Paytas as an example. I don't compare myself to Trisha Paytas, but I know that she sort of came from a. I don't want to call it a weird, but like what some. What some people would say is messy. And now she has been so delusional that she's now on SNL and on Broadway and getting all these crazy opportunities. And I don't feel like I think she's a great example of what I want to become. Yeah. And so it's more so for me, like inspiration of what I want to do. Right. So using Trisha, I don't understand how some people are getting the opportunity or the chance to redeem themselves to. To do a 360 to do a complete rebrand. Sort of like Spencer and. And Heidi right now. Right. Like it took them 15, 20 years, but they're getting a full rebrand. What is it going to take? I was on TV for 13 years, you know, and I've still remained in the spotlight a little bit. And I sort of compare myself to the people who are have come from a similar situation and they get the full rebrand. What is it? Was I not relevant enough to begin with to deserve a rebrand or am I not interesting enough to try to give me. All I need is one person to give me a chance. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Becky]

For sure.

[Kale]

Or like Alex Cooper. I don't know her in real life, but she has the Unwell network. I have the killer network. She's picking up people left and right. Right. Like she has. Maybe it's the funds. Maybe it's because she has more money to be able to pick up these shows.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

That I don't have those same resources to do xyz. So I have to work a little bit harder to get to where she is. I think it's more like that in a way that is sort of lights a fire under my ass. But there is a little bit of, you know, we came from the same place. Why? How is it that you get this and I don't? And in that way I compare myself. But a lot of times it is who I know. Not necessarily just like a random keeping up with the Joneses kind of thing. Do you compare yourself?

[Becky]

Well, first and foremost, I think your time is coming. I don't think that any time before this you would have been ready for your time to come. So I think that your time is like now and like soon.

[Kale]

So is it though?

[Becky]

Because I think so.

[Kale]

I almost feel like in a lot of ways I'll use Alex Cooper as an example. Like I have the knockoff version of Call Her Daddy. I have the knockoff version of Unwell podcast, Unwell Network. Do you know what I'm saying? And so there's not a chance for my time to come because it is the knockoff and it's always going to be the less than.

[Becky]

I don't look at it as a knockoff, really. Not at all.

[Kale]

I do.

[Becky]

I think it's different demographics.

[Kale]

Why do you say that.

[Becky]

I think that. I think that you appeal to people differently than she does. I think you have a completely different demographic than she does. Yeah, I don't look at it at all in that way, really. Like, not like, not even like at like 0%.

[Kale]

So it. Did you say you do compare yourself?

[Becky]

No, I. So I don't think I compare myself. And. And this is gonna just sound so ridiculous, but, like, I've worked, so.

[Kale]

Wow, you've got that little tiny baby coffee.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Wow, that's so interesting. I just. I feel like you're such a unique person that you. Who would you compare yourself to?

[Becky]

That's what I like. I. And I've been so focused on building a life that I love that there was never anyone that had the life that I wanted. Right. So I've, like, I've just. And like, I've always just had such positive things in my life to look forward to and build upon that. Like, I wasn't looking for anyone's help to make that true, but I don't.

[Kale]

Feel like I'm looking for anyone's help.

[Becky]

No. No.

[Kale]

I'm not looking at Alex. Like, I'm sure. I think she did an episode talking about how she bought her parents a house and she had like, she lives in a. An amazing mansion. Right. Like, I'm not looking at her personal life. Thank you. This is so extra. I'm not looking at her personal life.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I'm more so looking at it from a professional standpoint and I think, which is fair, from an insecure place about where I stand in terms of proving myself to people and that I am good enough and I do self reflect and I do have self awareness, but I think in terms of, like, the life that I want to live, I live the life I want to live.

[Becky]

Yeah. Hell yeah, I live.

[Kale]

I mean, I've even grown to be content with the house I live in that I'm contemplating not building a new house because I am happy where I am and I don't need more in terms of things.

[Becky]

Hell yeah.

[Kale]

You know what? Hell yeah.

[Becky]

Hell yeah.

[Kale]

You know that. Tick tock.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

This is the most bougie. Is this an orange?

[Becky]

Yeah. I literally always say this to Leah. Like, I will continue to strive for more. Like, I will. That's just.

[Kale]

Wow, this is really good how I.

[Becky]

Am as a person. I will continue to work harder. I will continue to do side hustles and xyz, because that's just what makes me happy.

[Kale]

Absolutely.

[Becky]

But if I lived my life how I live it right now, for the rest of my life, I'll be the luckiest person in the world. You know what I mean? Like, what more can I ask for? Because outside all of this work that I'm putting in is to create more of like a financial stability situation. But from a like man. Like, I get to like, I live the best life. No, you do. Yeah.

[Kale]

Honestly. And I can't speak for everybody, but I think we all in this room, Alessandra's in this room too. Like, we all love our lives, right? Like you love your personal life too, right? So it's a new year, 2025, and you're thinking, how am I going to make this year different? How am I going to build something for myself? And you're dying to be your own boss, right? So see if you can turn this business idea you've been kicking around into a reality. But know how to make it happen. I have an idea for you. You can use Shopify. That's how you're going to make it happen. And let us tell you how the.

[Becky]

Best time to start a business is right now. I have used Shopify hundreds of times to help client my clients build out their shop. It is a great e commerce solution and a great, easy way to make money.

[Kale]

I love this. You guys can get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates. No coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop. It's something I can even do. I'm not tech savvy, but this is easy. They also have powerful social media tools to let you connect all your channels and create shoppable posts, which is amazing for anyone who's selling a product.

[Becky]

Shopify makes it easy to manage your growing business. They help with the details like shipping, taxes and payment from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business. What happens if you don't act now? Will you regret it?

[Kale]

Yes.

[Becky]

What if someone beats you to the idea? Don't kick yourself when you hear this again in a year because you didn't do anything.

[Kale]

Now with Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Established in 2025 has a nice ring to it. So sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comkarma all lowercase go to shopify.comkarma to start selling with Shopify today. Shopify.comkarma.

[Becky]

This is so good that I want to bathe in it.

[Kale]

No, this is so amazing. I think honestly it's the ambiance of this Glass. What does the word ambiance mean? The aesthetic of this glass. I'm drink. I'm no longer drinking coffee out of anything else other than a wine glass. This tastes like candy in a cup. Do you know those weatherers. What are they? Werthers. Yeah, that's what that. That's what that tastes like.

[Becky]

Tastes so good.

[Kale]

No, Alessandro, we're not drinking coffee out of anything else ever again. Do you want a wine glass?

[Becky]

I don't. Thank you, though.

[Kale]

What sort of business model can we come up with for coffee in a wine glass?

[Becky]

Your own free will.

[Kale]

No, I need a business idea now. That's the. That's my other problem. Yeah. I have all these business ideas because I'm constantly trying to come up with the next thing.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Because I'm like, I have this.

[Becky]

We're the same person. And no, it's up.

[Kale]

And it's a up place to be.

[Becky]

I did, because I do have good.

[Kale]

Ideas, and I don't execute ever.

[Becky]

I did reach out to my friend about that app, and we're gonna start building it.

[Kale]

I really love this conversation about keeping up with the Joneses, because I feel like for so long, I lived in that place because that's how my mom is.

[Becky]

Like, what people think of you.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, my mom was more concerned about the aesthetic of our life, like, one time.

[Becky]

So I. I think that's a generational thing.

[Kale]

I did have a baby shower at Joe's house for Isaac. My mom said, I don't know if it was first or last. Like, open my present first or open my present last so everyone can see what I got. You less concerned about the fact that her teenage daughter was knocked up and more about what she bought me.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So I think that for a long time, I lived like that, but then I don't know if truly I asked. So I asked my kids, and I know that this is. Might be a hot take. There are certain things that I want to include my children in that may be adult decisions or at least listen to what their thoughts are in order to make the decision. So I said to Elijah, I want to get the kids down here. We need to have a little family meeting really quick. And so it was Elijah and Isaac and Lincoln, and I said, do you guys want to build a new house? Yes or no. And normally that would be stay in a child's place. That's not a child's decision. But it was sort of a representation of where I was at mentally with, like, keeping up with the Joneses. Right.

[Becky]

Like.

[Kale]

But is it necessary? Could I spend my money better? Do my kids even want to move? Because I think when it's all said and done, Isaac will be graduating high school. Does he want to start over in a new room? Where. Because I think some. Some people hold on to the memories they make in the same house and they don't care how big or small their house is. We might have to have kids share rooms they want. Not everyone's going to have their own room. But like, what does that look like? Isaac said no, he doesn't. He doesn't care. So in some ways I feel like I'm content. But I think maybe on the business side, do you compare yourself to people or like in a. In your job setting or in. Because you work in corporate America, right? Like, do you ever compare yourself or are you trying to get to the next level up work wise? Because I feel like that's where I'm trying to keep up with the jones is not on a personal level.

[Becky]

Well, first, I don't think. I think that it's a fair question. Ask your teenage kids if it's important to. For them to. Or if they want to move or if it's something they feel like they need more space or xyz. You have a beautiful home.

[Kale]

There's nothing wrong with it.

[Becky]

There's nothing wrong with it.

[Kale]

I say all that to say like, I'm content, just like I was saying earlier with like my personal life. But like on a business, on the business side of all of this. I do feel like I'm constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses. And I'm asking you, in corporate America, do you have that same experience?

[Becky]

I don't know if it's. It's. But it's. I don't think it's in an unhealthy way. Like I have people who I work with like my, like my boss, my boss's boss who I look up to because I want to. To grow into those positions. But it's not in a unhealthy. I should be doing this way but like I feel like corporate kind of does that to you because it puts you in your place place of growth. It's not just like you can't just grow just from, you know, wanting to. It's like you have to kind of put your time in.

[Kale]

Okay, I think mine's unhealthy. Yeah, I would agree immediately before I finish my study. She's like, yes, ma'am.

[Becky]

But that's because you want. You. You like to work and you like for things to work for you.

[Kale]

I. I don't know if I've ever shared this with you guys or anyone on the podcast at any point, because I forget what I talk about a lot of the time.

[Becky]

The amount of times that you say that is so funny.

[Kale]

Well, maybe I do. Maybe I've already said it. I live in a constant state of fear that everything will be taken from me. No. Constant, chronic state of fear. And it has nothing to do with the government. It has nothing to do with anything other than constantly. I mean, I was telling Alessandra yesterday about, like, all the men that were in and out of my mom's life and how many times we moved and being evicted and not having anywhere to go. And my mom lived with me and Joe at. At one point, and I don't know how many people know that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

But there was a time that mom moved in with Joe. It was me, Joe, Joe's parents, things like that. And so living like that, my entire childhood has now, it's like, I am secure. I have investments, I invest my money. I have savings account. I have an emergency savings account that I keep my cousin's name on so that I don't touch it. And so if I do, I have to ask her for permission just to have these, like, constant cushions. I live in a constant state of fear.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And I don't know if that is from childhood, from. Not from childhood. Like, I don't know what it is. And so I think that's part of the unhealthy obsession of.

[Becky]

I think that's something that might help you grow out of that now is having a partner who, if you told Elijah that he needed to, like, work three jobs. Work three jobs.

[Kale]

He would.

[Becky]

He would. Right. So, like, there would be. There's security just in that. Right. Like, he doesn't. Like. I don't know, like, having community, like, beside you and having stability besides you allows you to take more risks. Right. Like, I know that I can take risks in life because I have a support system around me to catch me if I fall from that risk. And so as you build those relationships around you, it might ease your pain to allow you to make more. Take more risks for that. But I think what's going to happen is you're going to need to find what you're working. Working towards is building out company, a company that has that security that is beyond your name and you as a person. Right. You can step away from something and it's still producing, it's still working. So if your downfall Happens something else would still work. You're always looking for that, for that, like one thing, Right. That you own.

[Kale]

But wait, so can I tell you my idea for the land if I don't build the house? Yeah, so.

[Becky]

Oh, you own the land already?

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah, I bought it last year, actually. Wow. It'll be almost a year soon. Wow. I. So it's farmed. I don't know what the zoning laws are. I have somebody looking into that for me now. So where Lincoln has done a lot of sports is like an indoor sports complex. And it's literally just a pole barn with turf in it.

[Becky]

Yeah. Do it.

[Kale]

No, no. The one that they do on Thursdays for soccer is literally probably only the size of this house. Like this floor right here. So I'm like, if I could build one sports complex.

[Becky]

Pickleball courts, girl.

[Kale]

No, Literally just the turf and like a little batting cage in the back. That's what they have. It's the size of this house. If I did one double this size and ran it as a business.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Like, I could stay where I'm at.

[Becky]

That's a great idea.

[Kale]

Oh, skims. Listen, we went to the Alessandra and I went to the skim store last night, the flagship store in New York City. And I'm wearing all skims right now.

[Becky]

During my last skims order, I ordered a bunch of things for my pregnant wife and she said that they are the most comfortable underwear and bralette that she has ever worn.

[Kale]

I actually got a bunch of fits everybody underwear last night and I got them in every single color. I got them in clay sand. I think the other one was Coco. I'm obsessed with it. And I wasn't wearing thongs for the longest time because I couldn't find one that was comfortable. But the skims fits everybody collection, they have a high waist thong that I'm obsessed with. And if you guys are looking for new underwear in this new year, this is the perfect time to get them from skims.

[Becky]

Yeah. I reach for my fit everyday razorback bralette almost every day. I have pretty big boobs and I do not like to go braless. I hate the way that sports bras make me feel so flat chested. And these bralettes are a game changer. I love the way I feel so supported and comfortable without feeling suffocated. Big girl boob approved.

[Kale]

Well, I have new boobs, small boobs. And I did buy new bras at the skim store last night. So I will get back to you guys on the next episode. About how much I love them, because even Alessandra was like, we need this. So shop Skims Best intimates, including the Fits everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. After you place your order online, be sure to let them know that we sent you. You guys can select podcast in the survey, and you can select karma and chaos in the menu that follows. This is gonna make me myself, and if I do, I'm going upstairs. Last night I had bubble gut so bad, and Alessandro's like, you just passed the bathroom. I said, I'm not in front of you. My worst fear is, like, getting bubble guts and, like, in an Uber or something in it. Like, you're gonna in the Uber, do you not? I in my car, like, on accident. Like, I my pants regularly like you do. I don't. Do people think I'm not telling the truth? Like, I myself, like, Elijah has had to Clorox my vehicle because I on the seat. I love your vulnerability.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

My worst fear is doing it in somebody else's car.

[Becky]

Thank you for being so vulnerable.

[Kale]

I'm scared.

[Becky]

Then stop drinking it.

[Kale]

It's so good.

[Becky]

There also might be someone listening that has. That owns one or in a different location. The best type of market research is to, like, understand and research how other people are working. What I did, I was gonna open up a. I was. I was gonna open up a pet crematory.

[Kale]

For, like, cremating pets.

[Becky]

Yeah, I, like, was on a kick of, like, opening up a pet crematory.

[Kale]

Why?

[Becky]

Because I went to the vet one time and the vet tech was bitching about how their freezer was overpacked and there was no crematories in the area that could take them. And, like, there was such a high need. And I was like, oh, okay. Can't be that expensive. Can't have that much startup cost. You just need to buy an oven and blah, blah. And so I went into, like, a full, like, discovery mode around it. I called pet crematories in New Jersey because they would have the same laws and regulations, but they were so far that it wouldn't be a conflict of interest. And they just, like, explained where profits were. To me, it was really cool. I had a great time doing it.

[Kale]

And so what was the deciding factor for you?

[Becky]

I was going to do it with Leah's dad.

[Kale]

So what? Why didn't you?

[Becky]

I don't know. It just, like, life kind of just started happening. It was the startup costs were like. I think, like, the, like, 150k.

[Kale]

It wasn't all you needed is an oven.

[Becky]

Yeah. You cuz you could legally put it on your own property. Like they're like from a people have them in like a residential area. It's crazy because there's like zero admission from the things but it just didn't work out. But it was a really great business idea.

[Kale]

So if anyone's in New Jersey, they're needing pet crematories.

[Becky]

Yeah. Or if anyone has a business idea, wants to bring it to us. This is a business podcast now.

[Kale]

Now it is. We're giving other people ideas. We're contributing. Contributing. We're contributing to the economy by giving people ideas.

[Becky]

I love that we haven't seen each other in real life since before Christmas. Before Christmas.

[Kale]

So a couple weeks. We haven't seen each other in a couple weeks.

[Becky]

Yeah. I do have a bone to pick with you though, actually.

[Kale]

What is it?

[Becky]

I think that you should have said hello to me when I got in last night.

[Kale]

Well, I had bubble guts. I had already taken an anti histamine which I'm suing unisom lawsuit to come.

[Becky]

Just a little pop in like hi or hey Beck. When they walk.

[Kale]

I had bubble guts and was on the toilet.

[Becky]

I got here at 9:45 at night. Not that late. I got here and I like nothing. I was like, are we even friends?

[Kale]

That's what I thought to myself. I was gonna come out after I went to the bathroom but at that point it was.

[Becky]

I just wanted a little hello.

[Kale]

Okay, I'm. I'm sorry. And moving forward, I will say hi to you.

[Becky]

Before I was like pretty sad.

[Kale]

Are you serious?

[Becky]

Well, because then it made me miss Leah. And then I was like sad and I was like, I'm just laying here. And I was like, all right, next.

[Kale]

Time I will say hi to you next time before I go to bed. It just. My stomach was hurting. We had authentic Italian food last night and I was not prepared.

[Becky]

I was like, does she hate me?

[Kale]

Absolutely not.

[Becky]

That's lit. I was like, are we going through this? Like when I say no fair anything to me, right?

[Kale]

She goes, you missed the bathroom. I said, I'm not in front of you. I thought I was gonna in the Uber. Like I'm so concerned. I said, kristen, I'll call you back. Because I was also on the phone with Kristen. I don't even know what we were talking about. Kristen, I gotta go. And so then from there I just didn't come out of the room for the rest of the night. I've had some crazy experiences.

[Becky]

When was the last time you needed to go to the doctor, but you pushed it off. Made the excuse, I'm too busy. It'll heal on its own. I don't need help. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor appointment can feel so daunting. But thanks to Zocdoc, there's no reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you.

[Kale]

The second my belly button was infected, I was like, I need to see a doctor asap. So that just happened to me. Sock Doc is a free app and website. You can search and compare high quality in network doctors and instantly connect to book an appointment. I'm obsessed with this because I've had strep throat. As you guys know, I talk about this all the time. I was able to get somebody in less than 24 hours and it was so important that I got on the antibiotics asap because that was absolutely horrible. And we're talking about booking in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more. And you guys can filter for doctors who take your insurance or are located nearby. They're a good fit for any medical need you may have and are highly rated by verified patients.

[Becky]

Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically just in 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same date appointments.

[Kale]

I mean, I can speak from experience on that. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Karma to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O c d o c.com karma zocdoc.com karma.

[Becky]

How are my kids doing though?

[Kale]

They're great. They're so good luck. Has soccer tryouts tonight.

[Becky]

I miss them so much all the time. Like I often think about just laying on your couch and watching your kids.

[Kale]

Like people watching in my house. Yeah.

[Becky]

And just like reading books about dinosaurs with Rio.

[Kale]

Yeah. That's a big thing for him right now.

[Becky]

And like. Like having a sleepover with Lux and Creed.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

When I was. I didn't talk about this the last time I was there. They asked if they could sleep with me on the couch and Creed like cuddled up next to me.

[Kale]

No, because that's so cute. Because Creed is not like a super warm and and cuddly kind of kid. He has his moments. But he, When I saw him cuddling with you, it was like, oh, he's a new person. Like there was something there.

[Becky]

I.

[Kale]

He did.

[Becky]

And then he was like, do you think that she. He was like, I want a snack. Do you want a snack? And I was like, no, I'm okay. He's like, but do you want to share cereal with me? I was like, okay, it's a snack.

[Kale]

But yeah, he recently had a little spill. So he was sitting in the playroom and we have like a kids table and chairs. And it's a kids table and chairs. So you just don't think anything of it? Well, he fell forward into the coffee table, knocked his teeth back. So we had to go to the dentist, an emergency dentist appointment. And thankfully the roots are all intact and everything is okay. The dentist was like, you might have sped up nature a little bit by, you know, they're a little bit loose and you know, they might fall out a little bit earlier. But thankfully they start coming out around five anyway. And he's four and a half. Everything is good. But I, I was panicking about it, but he had a little spill. But he was a champ. I mean, I sent Alessandra a picture and she's like, is he smiling? He didn't care. Yeah, like, I mean, it scared him, I think, but. But yeah, he's good. He actually, he doesn't want to play baseball this year, but he's wanting, he's playing, playing basketball right now and maybe if you're ever in town, maybe you could come to one of the games.

[Becky]

I would love nothing more than to come to one of their games.

[Kale]

Four year old games are at 8am so it's a little bit rough. But outside of that, he would probably love to have you there.

[Becky]

Yeah, I would love to be there.

[Kale]

Yeah. And he gets to play his. He has a cousin on the same team, which is really cool.

[Becky]

Oh, nice. Yeah, I love.

[Kale]

How's Leah feeling? How many, how far along is she now?

[Becky]

Leah is 15 weeks.

[Kale]

Spot on.

[Becky]

She's exhausted.

[Kale]

Does she have any morning sickness?

[Becky]

None.

[Kale]

That's good.

[Becky]

She has none. No other sickness or anything except exhaustion. But she's also working a lot, so it's really hard to credit what it's from. Is it from pregnancy? Is it. She's not showing at all. So it still doesn't feel real. But I find myself my. The head basketball coach that I coach with, he has two little boys and I just. And it's not just them. It's all pretty much all Kids. I find myself just watching little kids now and, like, picking up on.

[Kale]

Not in a creepy way.

[Becky]

Oh, yeah, no. But, like, watching their mannerisms and, like, feeling so emotional that I'm gonna have. I'm gonna get to go through that every stage. And I'm just so. I'm so excited.

[Kale]

It's so cool to see too, like, when you have kids, you. You know which kid does what. And yeah, different kids have different mannerisms or, like, sometimes they share the same mannerisms, which is so funny to me. And also, you'll. You'll see that your kids will pick up on your mannerisms and Leah's and you'll be able to tell which ones come from who. Like, Isaac does. Does very, very similar ones to Joe. And I'm like, your dad has done that his whole life. And then same for Javi. Like, Lincoln and Hobby's copy and paste. I've been noticing specifically now for Lux, he's seven. Some of the things that he does. I'm like, no, your dad still does that. Like, I can picture your dad doing that same thing. And I don't know if it's because it's, like, genetic. Like, if his dad wasn't in his life, would he still do it? Or is it because he sees him do it? Yeah, please let me know, because obviously.

[Becky]

Well, our donor is going to be in our kid's life, but have not in, like, a regular base as, like, a parent would. But I can't wait to blame all the bad things. Just, like, just be like, oh, that's the donor's fault. Like, you get that from the donor.

[Kale]

That's so funny. I love that you're including him a little bit.

[Becky]

Oh, for sure.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like, that's just what makes sense to us. But I'm. And I'm curious to see. And I think I've talked about this before. I was screamed at. Like, screaming was, like, normal in my household.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Like, when to clean if you did something wrong or xyz. Leah was not. Like, I.

[Kale]

We.

[Becky]

Like, Leah's never yelled at me. Leah's never, like, fought with me. Like, never. I can't argue with her. I can't raise my voice at her or it. She just, like, kind of shuts down. So it'll be very interesting with a child because Leah has no mean bone in her body. And so I don't. What is that going to look like? Right? Because, like, like, obviously parents get frustrated with kids and, like, have to be stern in some ways. Like, will she have, like, a stern side to her. I don't know.

[Kale]

That's so interesting.

[Becky]

What? Yeah. Like, and then am I going to be the parent my kid's afraid of?

[Kale]

No, I don't think your kid's going to be. Because some people use fear as a means of discipline.

[Becky]

Are there people that don't have parents that are, like, I was afraid of my parents growing up. Is that, like.

[Kale]

Yeah, I know a lot of. But I think it's our generation.

[Becky]

Like, our. Do people just love their parents, like, and think of them as, like, the best people in the world?

[Kale]

I mean, Isaac's been yelled at, and he says I'm his. Like, yeah, he loves me so much. Like, I don't. And then. And every kid is different, too. Like, and I'm not saying that yelling is okay, because I think at the point that you start yelling and I'm guilty of this, like, the point that you start yelling, you as the adult, you needed to regulate your feelings before it got to that point. And I'm working.

[Becky]

It's gonna be hard for me, I think.

[Kale]

Yeah. I mean, I'm working on that every single day as a parent and just as a person in general. But I think, you know, every kid is different. So what One kid is Will. Like, you know how in our generation, you just look at your kid a certain way? Like, we got looked at a certain way and we. We knew. Yeah, you're gonna. If you have more than one kid or maybe this child, you'll know that you'll figure out what sort of discipline each one needs. And I'm not saying that it should. Yeah. Be yelling. I'm not saying it should be, you.

[Becky]

Know, different discipline for.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, I, you know, Isaac was my first child, and I learned a lot about how to parent from him. Lincoln did not and still does not need the same discipline that Isaac does. Isaac. And same for Lux and Creed. Like, they're all. All four of them are so different. They are.

[Becky]

So.

[Kale]

So you just. You discipline according to what worked. Works for you guys, and you just hope that it's in a healthy way. And I think all of us will always question whether we did enough or too much or if it was too harsh. And then if it is, you apologize, girl.

[Becky]

If my kids love me as much as your kids love you, I've, like, done right in the world.

[Kale]

I don't know, because do they love me? Like, I always still ask my. I know they do, but, like, you still, as a parent, you're like, am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Much? Should I have apologized more. Should I have yelled? Like, not yelled, but like so much. It's so interesting.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's, like, really cute. I talk. I mean, I've talked about a million times.

[Kale]

Your son is gonna love you guys no matter what.

[Becky]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Kale]

I can't wait to be a good mom. You're gonna.

[Becky]

Isn't it, like, wild?

[Kale]

Yeah, you're gonna be a real good mom. Anyway, thank you for listening to Karma and Chaos. You guys can follow us on killer network Follow Becky at Instagram to come because we're.

[Becky]

We're gonna create an Instagram.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Don't YouTube channel. And a YouTube channel, apparently.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Becky]

Grow up.

[Kale]

Where can people follow? Where can people find you?

[Becky]

Find me. Can you guys just freaking give me a little follow? Show me a little love.

[Kale]

Also follow. Go check out BeckyHater.com she has a blog on there.

[Becky]

Yes, Becky Hater.com Hater25 on all socials. It's Becky Hater on Red Note.

[Kale]

Also, we have have for the haters episodes dropping on Karma and Chaos feed, so you guys can check that out. It is in addition to Karma and Chaos episodes, but she has two seasons or three.

[Becky]

Two seasons.

[Kale]

So you guys should check that out. Give her some feedback. Let her know what you're thinking. We would like to see it just take off.

[Becky]

Yeah. Love you.

[Kale]

Thank you, Alessandra, for putting up with all our. For this.

[Becky]

Yeah, thank you, Alexandra. We love you.

[Kale]

See ya.

[Becky]

Bye, guys.

[C]

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[Kale]

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[Kale]

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[Kale]

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[Kale]

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[Becky]

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[Kale]

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