Tour Talk & Surviving the Chaos

Summary

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Karma & Chaos Podcast – "Tour Talk & Surviving the Chaos"

Hosts: Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Date: April 14, 2026
Main Theme:
Kail and Becky catch up on their friendship, life as moms in their 30s, balancing family and careers, prepping for their summer tour, and the ongoing joys and messes of adulthood. They dive into parenting challenges, honest relationship dynamics, pop culture hot takes, and personal growth with their signature blend of unfiltered humor and relatability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reunion & Friendship Dynamics

• Kail and Becky express excitement about being reunited and recording together, after intentionally waiting to catch up so it would be fresh for listeners.
• Memorable banter:
  • “I have a thousand tabs open in my brain.” – Kail (03:28)
  • “If I’m not sleeping in a bed, it’s like—Becky will sleep anywhere. Like as long as the vibes are good, Becky’s there.” – Becky (04:10)

2. The "Fatherless Behavior" Summer Tour

• Announcement of their three-country, 23-city summer tour.
  • Tour logistics, creative prep, and the emotional/physical demands of being on the road as parents.
• Kail discusses bracing herself for burnout, the need for energy conservation, and the teamwork required.
  • Lindsay’s advice: “Maybe just be a quiet person to save energy.” (06:49)
• The evolving meaning of ‘fatherless behavior’ is humorously referenced in their personal lives, including parental estrangement and grief.
  • “Last tour, Becky’s dad was dead, and then mine was a deadbeat… This year your dad is obviously still dead. Mine is also dead now, and Lindsay’s dad is out of prison, but now they’re estranged.” – Kail (10:56)

3. Creative Process and Podcasting

• Kail shares feedback on her new podcast style (“For the Haters”) and how listener support motivates her.
  • “People are like, ‘New listener here—will now be a weekly listener.’ The feedback has been incredible.” – Kail (04:49)
• Tips for fitting podcasts into busy routines.
• Behind-the-scenes tour prep and segment ideas, including trivia, ad-libs, and structuring stories for different audiences.

4. Parenting: Highs, Lows & Hilarities

• The stress of kids’ accidents (falls, scrapes), and the unique anxieties of not being present when they happen.
  • “No one prepares you for your kid’s first fall.” – Lindsay (15:27)
  • “Out of my seven children, I have two kids that are so accident-prone... Creed and Rio.” – Kail (16:38)
• Navigating children’s sports, academic achievements, and changing schools:
  • Elliot’s acceptance into the National Honor Society, the transition to private school, and Lincoln managing multi-sport commitments.
  • Debate about early sports specialization, burnout, and letting kids’ passions lead.
  • “The likelihood of your kid becoming a professional athlete is not that high... being a multi-sport athlete makes you more versatile.” – Lindsay (19:36)
• Sibling relationships and bonding, especially as older children begin driving younger siblings to school.

5. Parenting Humor & Tactics

• Witty parenting confessions—e.g., threatening “worms will come out of your butt” to curb lying.
  • “Why are you lying if you think worms are going to come out of your butt?” – Kail (30:13)
• Discussion of whether boys are inherently more manipulative or if it’s learned behavior, referencing childhood fibs.
  • “I did not experience that with Lincoln and Lux. So I really think it depends on the child because Rio is now showing signs of what Elliot and Creed have done.” – Kail (32:53)

6. Pop Culture, Viral Moments & the News

• Discussed a viral story about a teacher (Noah Beck's sister) engaging with a student, highlighting the disturbing prevalence of inappropriate teacher-student relationships and the ease with which digital records can reveal them.
  • “It’s 2026. How are you so comfortable texting... like putting this in writing?” – Lindsay (47:30)
• Hilarious aside about certain flowering trees (“Bradford Pear”) smelling like semen.
  • “We’re outside… and we’re like: Why does it smell like cum out here? Not realizing how inappropriate that was—only to find out that there really is a cum smell…” – Kail (49:34)

7. Parenting Philosophy: Sex Ed, Respect, and Social Constructs

• Thoughtful discourse on raising children with healthy, non-shaming sexual values.
  • Critiqued the concept of virginity as a patriarchal construct, emphasizing consent and realistic conversations over historical social expectations.
  • “There’s a double standard... for men it’s no big deal, for women it’s supposed to be this sacred moment. And I don’t know why.” – Kail (37:44)
• Addressing consent with kids at a young age, and adapting the conversation for children of all ages, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

8. Money, Technology, & Responsibility

• Reflections on a cashless society, the pros and cons of not carrying cash, and why small financial rituals still matter.
  • Kail: “There are actually big issues that could come from being a cashless society altogether.” (63:46)
• Teaching kids about money management, value of savings, and the importance of chores and responsibility—especially in a family business/farm context.
  • “Elliot has… to take his taxes out and move it to his savings every single paycheck.” – Kail (67:49)

9. Relationship Balance & Intentional Friendships

• Strategies for maintaining friendships and couple time after kids.
  • Lindsay recounts intentional plans with friends and spouses to foster adult relationships and parental sanity.
  • “It’s built off of trust too, because you have to trust someone to leave your kid with them…” – Lindsay (60:59)
• Importance of choosing the right partner, mutual support, and solo parenting nights without resentment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On mental load and burnout:
  “I wish I could just close my laptop and call it a day everywhere else and talk to you…” – Kail (03:28)

• Tour reality check:
  “If I’m turned off—and not, like, sexually. My personality is turned off—then I know that I can count on you to be turned on for people.” – Kail (08:23)
  “RIP Dead Dad’s Club unite… if anyone else has a dead parent, you’ll really love this tour.” – Kail (11:30)

• On parenting dilemmas:
  “Creed and Lux… fight like cats and dogs. That is the wildest thing I’ve ever seen.” – Kail (29:32)
  “I told him if he lies, worms will come out of his butt… Why are you lying if you think worms are going to come out your butt?” – Kail & Becky (29:35-30:13)

• On child development and fibbing:
  “So, like, Elliot was a big, like, fibber… So it was like dumb stuff, you know?” – Kail (31:24)

• On sexuality and education:
  “I love that… there’s a double standard when it comes to men and women losing their virginities… It’s definitely a social construct and it’s a disgusting one at that… I hate men.” – Kail (37:28-38:04; playfully exaggerated)

• On pop culture oddities:
  “The trees have genders… The semen or rotting fish smell in the air during spring is caused by the Bradford pear trees.” – Kail (48:47)
  “Do you know what I mean? It’s either sour cream and onion chips or it’s semen; there’s no in between.” – Kail (49:42-50:07)

• On relationship balance:
  “Again, it’s so important to choose the right partner. Choosing the right partner is going to make or break your life significantly.” – Lindsay (62:41)

• On technology, privacy, and money:
  “If the Internet is down, card machines crash, your phone dies, or there’s a power outage... you may not be able to buy essentials like gas, food, or medicine.” – Kail (65:05)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Topic | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 02:21 | Banter about shirt-sharing and reunion | | 03:28 | Life updates, “tabs open” in brain | | 06:47 | Prepping for tour; energy management advice | | 10:56 | The “Fatherless Behavior” theme explained | | 15:27 | Parenting: kids’ accidents and resilience | | 18:25 | Academic updates: Elliot’s National Honor Society | | 19:34 | Kids’ sports: burnout & specialization debate | | 29:32 | Sibling rivalry, discipline tactics, and “worm” story | | 37:27 | Discourse on “virginity” and gender double standards | | 44:18 | Teacher-student relationship scandal discussion | | 48:47 | Bradford pear trees & “cum” smell anecdote | | 60:19 | Lindsay on intentional family/friendship planning | | 63:46 | Cashless society pros/cons & parenting money lessons | | 70:10 | Tour promo: first Indy date, social media plugs |

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Tone & Language

The conversation is candid, supportive, and funny, blending real-life chaos with playful jabs, honest reflection, and mom-wisdom. The language is direct, peppered with inside jokes and affectionate sarcasm, making the content feel “like talking with your friends after a long day.”

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a lively and heartfelt check-in between friends navigating parenting, growing older, and career changes—all while keeping humor and authenticity at the forefront. Listeners get practical advice, plenty of laughter, and a sense of solidarity in the messiness of modern adulthood.

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For tour dates and more: kayllowry.com
Subscribe to “For the Haters” & follow @karmaandchaospod on Instagram for updates.

Transcript

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[Becky]

Start your free [e-mail] Karma and Chaos

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[Becky]

okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it, and we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for The Fatherless Behavior Tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on killlowry.com and if you Want early access to information and announcements? Head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else.

[Lindsay]

Foreign. Welcome back, everyone, to karma and chaos. Good morning, good evening, good day, and good night.

[Becky]

Are you wearing my shirt?

[Lindsay]

I was given this shirt by Rebecca.

[Becky]

Oh, so we were in the same. I was going to wear that exact same shirt today.

[Lindsay]

But you didn't, so I thought it

[Becky]

was the one that you're wearing right now.

[Lindsay]

Apologize right now.

[Becky]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Lindsay]

So it's been a while. We're back together, baby.

[Becky]

Yeah, we are back together. And it's been a wild ride. In these couple hours that I've seen

[Lindsay]

you, it has been a wild ride. We've been moving and grooving and snoozing and losing.

[Becky]

You know, losing a lot.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're finding our groove here, people. One thing, we have so much to talk about.

[Becky]

There's a lot going. I'm. I wish that I could just easily close my laptop and call it a day everywhere else and talk to you. And I also have a thousand tabs open in my brain. Yeah, let's catch up. Because I specifically texted Becky yesterday or the day before, and I was like, hey, I just want to let you know I love you, but don't talk to me until we record, because then we don't have anything to talk about. And I was just really missing you for the vibes on Monday and Tuesday with Lindsay. Like, genuinely would have loved to have you here in the midst of everything.

[Lindsay]

I should have just surprised you guys, but I'm so busy.

[Becky]

Yeah, I was supposed to have a sleepover, and I never did. Like, I was supposed to sleep at this content house with everybody.

[Lindsay]

Oh, that would have been fun.

[Becky]

Yeah, it would have been fun, but,

[Lindsay]

like, seemed like something you would want

[Becky]

to do, you know, I'm 34 now, so if I'm not sleeping in a bed, it's like, Becky will sleep anywhere. She'll sleep in a bathtub. She'll sleep on a floor. Like, as long as the vibes are good, Becky's there. What's been new.

[Lindsay]

Okay, so I first just have to have you. Are you in the for the haters, like, Facebook group?

[Becky]

I'm not sure.

[Lindsay]

Well, I released my new episode, my new style. The feedback has been insane.

[Becky]

I must be, because unless I'm seeing the comments in other places, I've seen comments like, loving the new format. So that's great news.

[Lindsay]

People are like, new listener here will now be a, like, a weekly listener. Like, the feedback has been incredible. Incredible. So now we just have to convert that to new listeners. New listeners, yeah. But because of that, like, when you asked me if I wanted to submit the podcast or an episode for something, I'm like, no, like this one, I would submit, like for awards and stuff.

[Becky]

You know, Signal Awards is taking applications right now.

[Lindsay]

I know. It's just like, it's just so incredible to hear and let. Like a lot of people are like, you know, we used to be for the Haters list. Like, we used to listen and we just couldn't anymore. But gave this one a shot. So happy that I did. Like, it was like so good.

[Becky]

Good.

[Lindsay]

And I'm so proud of it. Good.

[Becky]

I'm so glad.

[Lindsay]

So if you're listening and you haven't listened yet, check out the new episodes of for the Haters because they'll consistently be like that.

[Becky]

Also, if you ever need, if you're like, I want to listen to podcasts or I want to give them a try and you don't know when to fit it into your schedule, can literally do it. When you're cleaning in the car on the way to work, while you're getting ready in the morning at the gym, like, there are anywhere that you could be scrolling on your phone or listening to music, you could be listening to a podcast instead of for real.

[Lindsay]

So thanks for anyone that's listening that listen. Thank you so much for the feedback. Thank you so much for the support. Thank you so much for the love. It's been.

[Becky]

You're easy to love.

[Lindsay]

Thank you. What's new with you? I.

[Becky]

Everything and nothing at the same time.

[Lindsay]

Feel that.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Getting excited for tour or what?

[Becky]

I am excited for tour. I'm also preparing. I know that this is going to be so much different than the first go around of tour. So I'm prepared for the burnout. Like, I am fully pretty bracing myself for burnout. And so I feel like mentally preparing for that ahead of time is going to be really good because it's literally go, go, go, and then come home with my kids for a week and then go, go, go, and then come home with my kids. Like, I won't have a chance to slow down from the point that we get to July to August, which is fine.

[Lindsay]

Can I give you some advice?

[Becky]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know how much I'll take, but yeah.

[Lindsay]

So often like before,

[Becky]

Take.

[Lindsay]

Take it with a grain of salt, you know, but often when you are doing like hair and makeup before things, you have your personality turned on for the people that you're around. Because you enjoy being people in front of people. Maybe we should just be a quiet person to save energy. Right.

[Becky]

Like tracking.

[Lindsay]

You know what I mean?

[Becky]

Right. Like, so we're conserving energy.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, we're conserving because you're funny before. Like, you're, you have your, like you're turned on in those moments because it's fun to be around you. It's funny. But like, maybe let's just turn you back off for a little bit.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Lindsay]

Like I said, you know.

[Becky]

No, no, I. You know what? Lindsay, for the longest time. I've known Lindsay for over eight years now. And for the longest time, I would say up until maybe the last year, she's always had a quiet appointment. So when we're getting ready for coffee, Combo's podcast, she does not want anyone to speak to her in the mornings.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So if she's getting hair and makeup, if she's getting her outfit together, she does not want spoken to. And I. She's mellowed out a little bit. But that is something that I'm going to have to adopt for tour specifically, especially because you're right. And then at the end of each tour night, I'm going to be probably tired and then have to drive. Sleep up to six hours. No, I'll have to drive. But that. It's like you're still reeling and have adrenaline pumping through you. And so, yeah, I, that's great advice and I will take that. Thank you.

[Lindsay]

You're welcome.

[Becky]

But I'm also glad that you're coming to a lot of the tour dates. Like, I'm excited about that and I feel like if I'm turned off and not by, not sexually, like my personality is turned off.

[Lindsay]

Anyone?

[Becky]

Oh, okay. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure. I. I know that I can count on you to be turned training for people. So, like, because you know how it's like, you have certain friends that you're. You have to be on and constantly entertaining them. And then there's friends that you can just like be low maintenance and chill and you don't have to entertain them for sure. You're the friend that will entertain. Just for funsies.

[Lindsay]

You know me. So me and Nike were just dancing in here by ourselves while everyone else was in a sourpuss mood. So.

[Becky]

I'm not in a sourpuss mood. I just want to. I would just like to clarify. There's just a lot of things going on behind the scenes in real time that I am not really sure how to navigate right now. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just a little frazzled.

[Lindsay]

Fair. I've been thinking about tour a lot.

[Becky]

Have you?

[Lindsay]

Yeah, I'm like, do I need to get. Do I need to put, like, bits together stories? Am I a comedian here?

[Becky]

So I. For those of you guys listening who don't know. Lissa. Lissa has been with Killer Network for over a year and recently transitioned over to Coffee Combos podcast, which is not a part of Killer Network, but we just moving and shaking, you know what I mean? And so I asked her to help me. You and I went on FaceTime to put together a bunch of segment ideas. And so I basically typed them all out for her, emailed them over to her, and she's gonna get me like a first draft.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Of that. And we're gonna need some variations. Like in my notes I put like for trivia, for example, we're gonna need 20 variations of that because I'll know the answers from the first show to the last show. So I think in terms of like, stories and stuff, if possible, we should have some like, confessions and stories, like already sort of prepared.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Because it's going to be hard if we on the spot need to come up with something and you're like, I don't remember.

[Lindsay]

I think that we, when we tour together, we could almost ad lib. Is that right? Is that the word for have like a 10 minute ad lib session where I have some questions? Because I started a tour note in my calendar of questions to, like, ask you that I know will spark, like a funny conversation.

[Becky]

Oh, fun. Okay.

[Lindsay]

Like, you know, like, we don't have to just jump right into like something with the audience or something with that. Like, we can warm up, you know, get warmed up with just us going back and forth a little bit.

[Becky]

What's so funny to me, and it's not funny is that last tour, Becky's dad was dead, and then mine was a dead beat and Lindsay's was in prison. And this year your dad is obviously still dead. Mine is also dead now and Lindsay's dad is out of prison, but now they're estranged. So it's kind of like fatherless behavior. Really Just took us by the balls and was like, this is it. You know what I mean?

[Lindsay]

Yeah. They really wanted to drive it home.

[Becky]

Driving it home.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

RIP Dead Dad's Club unite. And if anyone else has a dead parent, you'll really love this tour. Why are you laughing? Like I'm being so serious.

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[Lindsay]

I saw this Tik tok. And I forget the exact question that was asked. And it was like, what's your biggest fear? And this guy with a straight face said, being tickled to death. Which made me. Made me think about it.

[Becky]

Tickled to death.

[Lindsay]

Could you imagine being tickled to death?

[Becky]

No, because at some point it starts to hurt.

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That's what.

[Lindsay]

Like, imagine your cause of death is being tickled.

[Becky]

A fart accidentally slipped out would be my worst nightmare.

[Lindsay]

Imagine being tickled to death,

[Becky]

starts hurting. You know what I mean? Or like you can't breathe because it's so funny. Actually had a bunch of stuff on my list as well for topics to talk about.

[Lindsay]

No, you don't. Okay, go ahead. Come on.

[Becky]

Okay, well, let me. Can I pull them up or.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, let me talk about this real quick though, because it's serious. No one prepares you for your kids first fall. Like their first, like, boo boo. Bex took a tumble.

[Becky]

Oh, was he okay?

[Lindsay]

Yes. Could have been a lot worse. He's face planted into a brick sidewalk out of his walker. Oh, and like fell. Fell.

[Becky]

Okay. I.

[Lindsay]

He wasn't. It wasn't with us, but that's even worse. Yeah. And so I felt sick to. I felt so sick to my stomach. I was like, I need to go to bed. It's five o'. Clock. I need to go to bed right now. Like, I felt so sick that he got hurt. That he got hurt and he was fine. Like, he had a scraped up head and a scraped up nose. But like was okay. All things considered. Could have been a lot worse. I'm terrified for the rest of my life.

[Becky]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lindsay]

And he's just like, he's constantly falling now.

[Becky]

So I don't know if any other parents of multiple children have experienced this, but I definitely have. Out of my seven children, I have two kids that are so accident prone. Specifically Creed and Rio.

[Lindsay]

I was gonna say Creed.

[Becky]

Creed is my accident prone child. I thought it was gonna be Lux. But Creed, very similar situation. He was around one, maybe a little older than one. He fell. He took a tumble on the concrete patio. Same situation. And scabs on his face. He's fine. He was fine. I mean, he thugged it out, you know what I mean? But it was just like, that's horrible. And then you're not there too on top of it. It's like, that's 10 times worse.

[Lindsay]

So worse. Like,

[Becky]

Creed also split his eye open and needed stitches in the Dominican Republic.

[Lindsay]

I remember that.

[Becky]

So, yeah, that's not. It's definitely not going to get Easier, unfortunately.

[Lindsay]

Well, thanks.

[Becky]

Sorry.

[Lindsay]

Thanks for nothing.

[Becky]

Thanks for nothing.

[Lindsay]

Thanks for nothing. What else is new? What?

[Becky]

Like what else?

[Lindsay]

Lindsay was great when she was here. That's fun. I wish I was here to be with you guys.

[Becky]

I know. I did beg her to extend her trip and then unfortunately it didn't work out. But what else is new? Elliot was you. You wrote Elliot a recommendation letter for National Honor Society, which again, you have to be invited to apply. He was accepted into National Honor Society, so that was really, really exciting for him. I cried my eyes out. We went to dinner, did a little cake. And then Lincoln and Elliot and the other kids, they're all with their dad for spring break. So they're all having a good time.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And committed to the private school that I told you about months ago. Elliot and Lincoln are gonna go like it's officially. Yeah. And so Elliot will be driving them to school every day.

[Kiana (Shopify Testimonial)]

Wow.

[Lindsay]

I know.

[Becky]

Hobby's on board. He was. I think it helped that Lincoln, he heard everything directly from Lincoln.

[Lindsay]

Okay.

[Becky]

So I think that really helped because obviously like your ex wife or your ex husband could tell you something and they're so excited about it, but until you hear about it from your child, you don't really fully understand how much that means. But also I wanted to ask you this as someone who was a dual athlete. Yeah. Lincoln's travel soccer coach wants him to quit all other sports and stay in soccer. And I disagree because while I do think that he's really good at soccer and there's a lot of potential there, I also recognize how much he loves basketball. And because they're in two separate seasons and with him about to go to a private school, they will be through the school instead of record travel leagues outside. I feel like it's realistic for him to play to sports in school. Trigger warning. I don't want Lincoln hearing the next 10 minutes.

[Lindsay]

So here's my thing and I think I've talked, we've talked about this before, like the likelihood of your kid becoming a professional athlete is not that high. Which is fine to have the goal of getting there. Right. But realistically speaking, realistically speaking, that's not gonna happen. You enter your kid into a one sport athlete young, you face burnout, you face injuries that are prone in that sport above others. And like I'm such of the mindset that being a multi sport athlete makes you more, well, diverse, like more versatile. Basketball gives you hand eye coordination, obviously. Soccer gives you foot, like endurance, like in coordination. There's benefits to both. I believe that there's like, benefits as a person person that you learn from the different sports. Like, basketball gives you a lot. There's a lot more eyes on you as a singular player. So you develop how to, like, deal with pressure, how to be a team player in that environment quite a bit more than you do in soccer. Because it's like such a spread out, low scoring sport. Right. Like, there's not a lot, like, as much going on. So I. I don't, like, I don't think I would ever commit my kid to playing one sport unless that's the only sport that they loved. Right.

[Becky]

So that was from the coach. When Javi and I talked about it. Javi and I are, you know, on the same team and on the same page with, you know, if he's gonna go play for the school that he'll be at next year, he will play soccer and basketball. We will give up every rec league, every travel league, and then flag football that is outside of school, we're gonna give it up. Because right now, I mean, he had. He's on two basketball teams at the same time.

[Lindsay]

What grade is he going into?

[Becky]

7th. So he was playing two basketball teams, two different leagues at the same time. Same time as travel soccer, same time as flag football. So he's playing three sports, four teams in the same season. And it's. That's also causing burnout. So I think it will be nice for him to be specifically in basketball season and soccer season with the school. And so we're on the same page there. But I was just surprised, I guess, from the soccer coach for. To hear, oh, he needs to quit all the other sports and just stick to soccer.

[Lindsay]

It's like, it's too early for that.

[Becky]

That I would agree. But also, even in high school, I feel like it's too early because they're during two different seasons.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. But high school, if. If like, you are really good at one sport and you actually have the opportunity to get paid in college, to like, get recruited in college, it. I could see that transitioning out of. Of the two sports, if you're going big D1, like, if you have that,

[Becky]

you definitely wants to go to a D1 school.

[Lindsay]

But, like, you'll know that, like, it's. It's hard to ignore if you have a D1 athlete or not. Right. Like in seventh grade is when that shift starts to be made. Eighth grade, you really start to see if, like, you have what it takes to. To get there. So right now it's way too young, but.

[Becky]

Well, I'm Excited to see what. What comes out of the sports programs at the school that we're going to. They are both. Both the soccer team and the basketball team that they're going to are. I don't. I don't know the proper terms you would. Like, like, they're, they've won like, state. I don't know what it's called in

[Lindsay]

seventh and eighth grade.

[Becky]

They have stats.

[Lindsay]

Oh. Oh, their high school sports are good.

[Becky]

Yeah. Like, their high school sports are recognized. State, like, for the State. Like, they're in the top, like five.

[Lindsay]

Oh, that's good.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's a really good program for the sports. That's what he would be gearing up towards.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I took Elliot to a play there to see Matilda, and he. That alone sold him for that school. He was like.

[Lindsay]

Was the theater program.

[Becky]

He was like. That was borderline Broadway.

[Lindsay]

He's so cute. I miss them. I haven't seen them in so long.

[Becky]

I know.

[Lindsay]

Wow.

[Becky]

It's been like three weeks.

[Lindsay]

Crazy that Elliot's gonna be driving them to school.

[Becky]

He'll have to do time management. But, I mean, he gets himself on the bus right now at 6, 10 in the morning. He won't have to leave our house until 6:30, so he'll get an additional 20 minutes.

[Lindsay]

You know what? I was just sitting here thinking about, like, when Elliot and Lincoln are older and they're going to think back to the time when like, they had an hour, like two hours in the car together, just the two of them. Like, what are they like?

[Becky]

I honestly hope that that bonds them even more.

[Lindsay]

I mean, how does it not?

[Becky]

Because, like, they need that and they're so different. Like polar opposite.

[Lindsay]

You could tell they like each other,

[Becky]

they love each other. But I think just to like, solidify it, because at the point that Elliot goes away to college, there's a. There's a hot, like a. I'll say a 50, 50 chance he might never want to live at home again. He probably won't. He wants to live abroad. He doesn't want to live in Delaware. Like, it's very possible that Elliot will never live with us again. So, like, you know, I really want them to have that time together. You know, I'm looking for.

[Lindsay]

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that car. Maybe I'll hide in the car a little bit.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Or just bring back the teen mom days and set up some Go gopros.

[Becky]

Gopros. Could you imagine?

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[Lindsay]

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[Becky]

So, yeah, that's what's going on there. I'm trying to think outside of that. Not a whole lot. Coffee Cabos is up for a Webby Award.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. Make sure you vote.

[Becky]

Go vote for Coffee Combos podcast for the Webby Awards if you feel inclined to do so. Other than that, just hanging in there. Doing some. Doing some life stuff.

[Lindsay]

Speaking about moving, I heard from a little birdie, actually, I have a couple things to talk about. Were you guys talking about me on coffee Combos?

[Becky]

Probably.

[Lindsay]

In my little for the haters Becky hater Patreon group chat, someone sent a little screenshot, and it said something about Becky getting dicked down or something.

[Becky]

Oh, yeah, I did. I did tell Lindsay that you. You've slept with more men than me.

[Lindsay]

Interesting.

[Becky]

I definitely did. And then I was like, that. You've talked about it, so it's not like I'm outing you, you know?

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Booking.com Announcer]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Did you say anything nice about me?

[Becky]

Yeah, I said I loved you so much.

[Lindsay]

Oh, okay. I'm gonna. I'm actually gonna listen to it and see if you're lying or not.

[Becky]

Why would I lie when you could check? Although people do it. Creed, you need to come get your son. Come get your son. You know what? That's what I have to tell you because I know I talked about this on Coffee Combos, but I need to tell Rebecca Hater, because Rebecca Hayter is Creed's other mom. Your boy. Creed and Lux, as you know, fight like cats and dogs. Like, that is the wildest thing I've ever seen. It is the wild, wild west. Every morning. And next school year, they're in two different schools, so they will be in two different cars. So with that being said, I told

[Lindsay]

him not to or told him that

[Becky]

if he lies, worms will come out of his butt. I don't know why I said that, because that is so. Like, I couldn't think of any thing better in the moment. So again, I said this on coffee combos. I know that, but I am taking a shower, and he looks at me and he says, why haven't worms come out of my butt? And I looked at him and I said, have you been lying? And he said, yes. Why are you lying if you think worms are Going to come out your butt.

[Lindsay]

You need to put worms in the

[Becky]

toilet if you think I wasn't. He gets home on Sunday. What do you think I'm going to have in his toilet? And I just redid his bathroom. Put wallpaper up. It looks so cute. It looks really good. There will be worms in that toilet when he gets home.

[Lindsay]

I don't know if that's right parenting or not.

[Becky]

Probably not.

[Lindsay]

I'll have a talk with him.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Why is he lying so much?

[Becky]

And it's dumb.

[Lindsay]

I saw like. I saw someone talking about how, like. Like, are boys just born with these? You know how we've always said that it's like, learn. Like boys have this learned behavior of manipulation and all this stuff. And then this woman was talking about her six year old that hit her, hit his sister. And he started crying, saying, I'm just sad that your grandmother died. And. And she was like, it was my grandmother. She died like two months ago. Like, he barely knew her. And he's cr. Like manipul. He wasn't taught manipulation. Are they just born with it? Like, are boys just born with it? Do you have to unteach boys?

[Becky]

Here's the thing about that, which is so interesting now that you say that. Like, I. The same thing that Creed is going through, I also went through with Elliot.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So, like, Elliot was a big, like, fibber. Yeah, I was too, in my childhood. Like, we were going to dance on the roof and have a concert in my garage. Over my garage at my mom's apartment. Like, it was just weird. So it was like dumb stuff, you know?

[Lindsay]

Can someone get a picture of Kale dancing on a roof over her girl?

[Becky]

Ask AI. I'm a huge Chat GPT fan now. I've been ChatGPT. Everything okay? Literally everything. Actually. Chat complimented me and it was a huge deal, you know, so. So Elliot went through that and then. And then it was a 180, like out of nowhere. It was like he went through puberty. And all of a sudden he's a better human than anybody on this planet, you know? And so I'm hoping for that 180 with Creed too, because Creed actually does have a. He's really an amazing kid. Like, he genuinely is. So I think that he'll also see that. But I did not experience that with Lincoln and Lux. So I really think it depends on the child because Rio is now showing signs of what Elliot and Creed have done. So I think it's just kids. It's adolescence. It's push testing limits. It's seeing what you can get away with. It's, oh, if mom didn't see me hit him, you know, I hit Lux first. Lux hit me back. Mom only saw Lux hit me back. Of course I'm going to lie about it because she's going to give me attention and sympathy for it. So Creed, smack dab in the middle of seven kids. He's smack dab in the. In the middle, and then he's smack dab in the middle at his dad's, like, right in the middle. So it's definitely birth order for sure.

[Lindsay]

Could be. I don't remember being a liar as a kid.

[Becky]

Oh, what's it like to be God's favorite?

[Lindsay]

Oh, my God, here we go.

[Becky]

Yeah, I think lying is a little bit extreme.

[Lindsay]

I don't know. I. I really don't remember.

[Becky]

I'm trying to think, but also, like, I don't know if it's lying or perception.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Because I don't know. Creed is a really great.

[Lindsay]

I love crude. You know what? I'm excited for the watch our girl Valley just come out of the woodworks and become the only professional athlete out of all of your seven kids.

[Becky]

Well, we got Lincoln could be the physical trainer. Elliot can be the accountant. Lux and Creed can train with her. D1's just the hype man, you know what I mean? And verse. He's just happy to be there

[Lindsay]

along for the ride.

[Becky]

He's just happy to be there, man. Oh, God. If Valley is an athlete, she. Yesterday I went to go see her

[Lindsay]

to be right, like, with all of her bro. Like, as she gets older and is just like, she.

[Becky]

We went to Lincoln soccer tournament on Saturday.

[Lindsay]

And you brought the kids. I feel like you don't bring the littles.

[Becky]

No, I don't bring the babies anywhere. But I did because I'm like, there's breaks in between. If they cry, like, worst case scenario, we go home, right? So have two Barbies. And I hear fight. I look back and Valley is full on. Just fight her Barbies. And I'm like, these boys really just have her. Yeah, it's a fight. And she's smacking them against each other. And I'm like, oh, dude, I love her. She does not want anything to do with, like, babies. Some sometimes she'll carry, like, a baby doll.

[Lindsay]

She does love Bex, though.

[Becky]

Oh, yeah. She is very maternal.

[Lindsay]

Yes.

[Becky]

I was surprised by that because I was never maternal as a child. In fact, I did not want to be around kids at all. And so she's very. She wants to see the baby. We went up to.

[Booking.com Announcer]

She.

[Becky]

There was a baby at the soccer tournament and she was. Would not leave me alone until I would take her to go see that baby.

[Lindsay]

I saw. I saw this thing where this girl and I. I do this all the. It's so. I feel like my life is lived around tiktoks, but it's because I write down the funny ones that I see and the ones that are relative. But it's relative. And it was talking about how having kids is all about just market thing and what it's mean. The woman was like. She said, my kids don't like quesadillas with meat in them, but they like flat tacos with me in them. So like, like having kids is all about marketing of, like, how you're presenting it to them.

[Becky]

Like, yeah, it's like when you tell your kid, no, this is chicken and it's steak. Yeah, that was me.

[Lindsay]

All marketing.

[Becky]

Yeah, it's marketing. You guys marketing.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, you. You moms out there, you think you don't have something to put on your resume, but a marketing manager.

[Becky]

Marketing.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, marketing.

[Becky]

Wow, that's so funny. Yeah, that is so funny. Because my kids, it's the same thing. It's so much easier to make something for dinner that everyone will let eat some variation of it. Quesadillas. No. What did she call it? A flat taco.

[Lindsay]

Flat taco.

[Becky]

Okay. Yeah, flat taco.

[Lindsay]

Isn't that funny though? Like, I could see like a little freaking kid just being like, oh, I don't like quesadillas. But. And then you're like, oh, it's a flat taco. And they're like, oh, I love flat tacos. Like, it's literally the same. Like the same exact thing. I have a serious question to ask regarding kids. Okay, this is a serious conversation.

[Becky]

I'm an expert or something.

[Lindsay]

No, but lived experience. I want to know what your opinion is. I've been seeing a lot of discord around.

[Becky]

Discord or discourse? Oh, you said discord. I think you meant discourse.

[Lindsay]

Because I always talk about being on discord. Okay. I've been seeing. I've been hearing a lot of discourse around the concept of virginity. And the discourse around it is that they will not be teaching their kids, and specifically their daughters, the concept of virginity because it's a construct that was created by men to be able to, like, have something or, like, obtain something or take away something from women when, like, it really doesn't matter. And it's like, kind of goes against the idea of, like, healthy Relationships with sex. And obviously these conversations are at like, age appropriate times. Like, what do you, what are your thoughts on that?

[Becky]

I love that.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I, I love that. I, I, Realistically speaking, I think it's going to be a lot harder to do than what it, what you just said, and it's going to take a lot of time and years and probably generations to make it kind of go away.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But I think there's a double standard when it comes to men and women losing their virginities is like, for men it's no big deal, but for women it's supposed to be this, like, sacred moment. And I don't know why.

[Lindsay]

I don't know.

[Becky]

And, but also, like, who lose it.

[Lindsay]

The thing. Sorry, go ahead. Who loses their virginity in some sacred moment kind of way? Is that even possible?

[Becky]

It's like propaganda with like, the government and church and all of the things and having a moment and you're supposed to save yourself for a man and you should, you should be pure and Catholicism and all the things. Right. It's definitely a social construct and it's a disgusting one at that. But it's definitely like a man, man did this. Right. I hate men.

[Lindsay]

I. Yeah.

[Becky]

This episode of karma and chaos is

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[Becky]

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[Becky]

I Love that Bex is going to live in a two mom household. Is living in a two, two mom household. Because that's going to be the best thing for him.

[Lindsay]

I love that he lives with in a two mom household, too. I love that little kid.

[Becky]

Yeah, I do, too. He's such a little cutie, little ham.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. And he, like. Yeah, he's so cute.

[Becky]

Yeah, he is so cute.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. I think that, like, for me, I'm just so. I care about the concept of, like, our bodies and being respectful of people's bodies in a way, like. But not shying away from mutual pleasure. Right. Like, sex is healthy. Being, like, physical attraction is healthy. Obviously having those conversations at the right time. But I plan on educating myself even quite a bit more when those conversations need to be had with him. Because, like, I just want to make sure that he's never putting a girl in a position or being put in a position either. Right. Like, I'm not blind, blind to it being both ways of just be, like, not knowing what to do, not knowing what's appropriate, and having that open and honest conversation with him.

[Becky]

Like, it's really scary.

[Lindsay]

Have you had a conversation with Lincoln yet?

[Becky]

I have, like, conversations in passing about things.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

But consent is where we're at right now. And so we're regularly, not all the time.

[Lindsay]

Because seventh grade, you, like, people start, like, doing things, right?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

I don't know.

[Becky]

So, I mean, it doesn't come up all the time, but when we do have conversations, it's heavily based around consent because it makes me nervous with obviously just them being boys in general, for sure. Also, we have targets on our back for being on TV and things. Or people might assume we have money or they might assume, like, they could get something out of us by accusing our kids of doing something.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So, I mean, we're even talking to Creed. He's five years old, and we're like, you have to ask that little girl if you can hug her. You can't just go up to her and hug her. You have to ask.

[Lindsay]

I don't think there's too young of an age.

[Becky]

And then at the baby school, the teachers are big on, you need to ask your friends when they go up to hug, because toddlers just do that. And the teachers are doing. Well, Let me not speak for all of them, but in Rio's class, I love, love, love. And she's a young teacher, but she is, you know, Rio, you have to ask your friends. And he does. But reminding the kids regularly that you have to ask to Be touched.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. So, absolutely.

[Becky]

I think that's where it starts. And then it makes it easier to have the harder conversations as they get older. But, like, I'm. I. You guys know, I'll talk to my kids about anything, and we're really open about that stuff. I really worry about Elliot, too. You know, he might be gay, but it's still a conversation that can be.

[Lindsay]

That needs and, like, safety. Like, you know.

[Becky]

Yeah, I. We had a conversation on coffee combos. Not. I don't know when it will air, but, like, all the conversations about, like, sex. And it's not just pregnancy. It's STDs, it's consent. It's there. There is a small percentage that a girl could lie and say that this is. This was, you know, not consented to, even if it was. And so, like, there's. You have. It's scary.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, it is.

[Becky]

And that could affect somebody for the rest of their life.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So I don't know if you guys can hear Alessandro, but she's saying, narrating bath time, diaper changes, like, this is what I'm gonna do next, or whatever. That's a huge point. But that's also something. When Creed was in pcit, which is parent child integrative therapy or interactive therapy, you want to do that even when they're just playing with toys on the floor, is, like, narrating what they're doing.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

So that's actually a. There's been times in the bathtub. Like, right now, the twins are just about two and a half. Sometimes I stick them both in the bath at the same time, and I'll say, okay, you. You got to wash your booty. And then they'll do it, or I'll help them do it, and I'll say, nobody touches that. But, you know, unless there's an adult, we have to clean up or go to the doctor. Starting at two years old. Nobody should. Like, at two years old, I want to ingrain in my kids that nobody touches their private parts, you know, for sure. I mean, and I tell my kids now, I'm like, you cannot touch people's private parts. You know that, right? Because you know how boys will get like, oh, he punched me in the balls.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And I'll tell them they'll go to jail for that. Like, I'll scare them. I will literally say, you cannot punch your brother in the balls. You will go to jail. That's their private part.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I know it's a little extreme. It is extreme, and I know that. But I'm also terrified. Like I have six boys.

[Lindsay]

Not to like abruptly change the subject

[Becky]

to something like up so on on brand for us.

[Lindsay]

It's relative in nature, but can we talk about this Haley Beck? What is it Haley Beck? I was just gonna tell. Can we talk about this Haley Beck thing?

[Becky]

I don't know who that is.

[Lindsay]

So Haley Beck is. Noah Beck is like a famous influencer. He's been in movies.

[Becky]

He's not Noah Khan, right?

[Lindsay]

No.

[Becky]

Because I think I saw an article on Us Weekly. It said Noah Beck. I had no idea who it was. I was gonna text it to you because I thought it was Noah Khan. Why did I think that to just

[Lindsay]

live in your brain for a day would be quite entertaining. Huh. So Noah Beck is an influencer. He was a part of that like Hype House era. Like those, like those people. Anyway, he's not really relative to the story. The only thing that's relative in nature is that it's his sister that this happened to. His sister is 28. She is a high school teacher. And one of her students was getting investigated for having a relationship with one of his past teachers. And because of that investigation, it came out that he had a relationship with that, this. With Haley. Is it? So Noah Beck's sister with Noah back sister.

[Becky]

Okay.

[Lindsay]

Which I feel bad even bringing him into this because like obviously like that's it.

[Becky]

But that's why it's so sensationalized. Because of him.

[Lindsay]

But which sucks. It is. It is mind blowing. The text messages got released between the two of them and this kid, this child is dragging her through the dirt of like just, just talking to her and her like, like it's so cringy.

[Becky]

In what way though? What is it? What are they saying?

[Lindsay]

Oh my God. Like I don't even.

[Becky]

But he's dogging her out. Yeah, in a good way.

[Lindsay]

Like no.

[Sponsor Voice (Various Ads)]

And like a.

[Lindsay]

Just like a, like being a teenage boy to her. Like.

[Becky]

Well, that's what happens when in a full blown adult woman tries to engage in a romantic relationship with a child.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, it was weird. I saw this creator that was like if they offered to either send me to prison for 10 years or release those text messages, I would have went to jail. Like those texts.

[Becky]

I would have said that.

[Lindsay]

I. I just saw like a creator that said it.

[Sponsor Voice (Various Ads)]

Yeah, it's.

[Lindsay]

They talk like they're grow. Like, okay. Haley said, but then you said ew. And he said freak. And she said if my was weak, then what's the point Even. And he said, cry me a river. When are you gonna come home to visit? Then he said, those pics are funny. And she goes, funny? Why? Oh, let me guess. I was a beluga in the first few. She said, bro, my sophomore year, you were 1 billion percent overweight. And now, like, you was a cool teacher. It's just like, I don't. It's so crazy. And I think everyone needs to just go to jail. You know,

[Becky]

it's 2026. How 2026. Like, it's a mental illness to be attracted to a child.

[Lindsay]

Number one, everything is saved. How are you so comfortable? Text.

[Becky]

Like putting this in writing.

[Lindsay]

Like, it is crazy. Everything can be used against you. Nothing is safe.

[Becky]

How. And she was 28.

[Lindsay]

Yes.

[Becky]

And. And then. And then. But he had already had a relationship with another teacher.

[Lindsay]

Yes. 42.

[Becky]

I'm so disgusted. This makes me wonder how much this goes on without us ever so, like, ever finding it happened.

[Lindsay]

It happened in my high school, but it was a man.

[Kiana (Shopify Testimonial)]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Anyway. Is crazy. I. Let's just. Can we just leave kids alone?

[Becky]

Yeah, let's leave all kids alone. Let's just do what's best for them and not what's in the best interest of the adult.

[Lindsay]

All right, let's change topics. I have in my notes to remind you, ask Kale about fruit trees and semen. So?

[Becky]

So there is fruit trees that smell like semen.

[Lindsay]

Okay. But that was it.

[Becky]

Well, so there's this whole thing. Okay, hold on. Because the trees have genders. Not genders. The g. The trees have.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, there's male and female trees.

[Becky]

Right. So the semen or rotting fish smell in the air during spring is called by the. It's caused by the calorie pear trees, commonly known as Bradford pear trees. And these trees are widely planted along streets and in landscaping for their fast growing and white spring flowers. They stink like semen. So me and Sterling were filming in la, and I am with Sterling, and we're outside, and Larry and I think it was either Patrick or my former producer, Tony. And we're mic'd up and we forget. We're miked up and we're like, why does it smell like come outside? Like, it smells like come. And this is all being recorded and we don't realize. And we're like. Once we realize, we're like, do you guys smell that? Does it smell like come out here? Not realizing how inappropriate that was.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Only to find out that there really is a cum smell. Or they all smell like sour cream and onion chips.

[Lindsay]

Does come smell like sour cream and onion?

[Becky]

No, it's two separate situations. But like that's a real thing. Like it smells like semen. I mean, I know that you don't remember probably what that's like. No. And some is healthier than others. But I would argue that like outside definitely has. Like I went outside two days ago and it was sour cream and oniony. But like, do you know what I mean? It's either sour cream and onion chips or it's semen.

[Lindsay]

Interesting.

[Becky]

There's no in between. So that's all I wanted to tell you.

[Lindsay]

Oh, okay. Thank you for telling me that.

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[Lindsay]

I saw a girl that got caught that caught her boyfriend cheating on her because the there was a girl that stepped on her smart scale in their house and she got notified that like there was like someone that was like 130 pounds that stepped on the smart scale men are.

[Becky]

So she could have just. He needed to put something on it.

[Lindsay]

So if you guys are. Which I don't condone, if you're around with a married person and you want them to get caught, see if they have a smart scale in their house. Take a little step on that.

[Becky]

That's insane. A smart scale.

[Lindsay]

Did you really find your cousin in your Instagram comments Instagram stories?

[Becky]

No. Somebody made a fake 23andme of me forgot to tell you guys that.

[Nature's Bounty Announcer]

What?

[Becky]

Yeah, so that woman who gets on my story on my Instagram, I like put a little question box on my story and it was funny or interesting things only like trying to be funny and someone message in the box and said, I think we're related on 23andMe and I message her. So I like post it. I'm like, wow, this is fascinating. Like we need to explore this or whatever. So I message her on the side and she sends me. I think I can find it. She sends me a screenshot and I'm like, oh, like that's not me. But they put my name on the profile so they think that it's me. But it's in fact definitely like it's me. I have a, a picture of myself on mine. I'll post this once I find them. It's going to take me some time. I'll. I'll post it on the karma and chaos stories. But yeah, no, it. I did not find my cousin, unfortunately.

[Lindsay]

Oh, I thought that was going to be like a cool little no.

[Becky]

But I did recently film a tick tock that should be going up soon. It'll be probably next week. It'll go up where I tell the story about like my dad's biological father is not who he died thinking it was. And so I want to maybe do like a journey of like finding my dad's biological family and like understanding that because my sister and I feel like we want to know they may.

[Lindsay]

They have like a company that does that.

[Becky]

Well, how do I get in touch?

[Lindsay]

I've seen them. I've seen them on the inner interweb.

[Becky]

On the Interweb?

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

What does that mean?

[Lindsay]

Like, I've seen people that can get hired to find like genealogy. Yeah, like your family history.

[Becky]

I figured I'd ask social media first because maybe they would have. I mean, some of the people that follow us, I mean they are really good detectives, truly. I mean if some of the trolls on the Internet put the work into good, they could solve crimes, bro. They literally, they really could. So I I'm asking for their help first because I would, I would love to and, but what's crazy is on my 23andMe is so different from my ancestry. There are 1500 relatives on my dad's side on an on 23andMe 1500 that have taken the DNA test. So imagine how many there are that haven't.

[Lindsay]

That's a lot of people.

[Becky]

But there, there's not nearly as many on my ancestry on my dad's side. Isn't that crazy? And now that my dad took both the one on my dad's side, the 23 in me, the way that it works, you can connect your profiles so it shows you which is different from Ancestry on 23andMe, it shows you how you're related. So it'll say like father side, mother side, things like that. Where ancestry doesn't, you just kind of have to put it, build it together yourself. 23andMe basically does it for you. As long as they take it, it'll tell you which what side it's on. The only thing that you have to be careful of with both is if you are half sibling or it's like a half aunt and uncle or a half, you know, whatever, those can kind of be mixed up. So like for example, the DNA percentage for a half sibling might be the same as like a first cousin or something like that. So. Or I think it's like, yeah, I think that's like my aunt is technically my hot, my half aunt, but it's the same percentage as like a cousin or something like that. So that's the only thing you have to be careful of. But it at least tells you what side they're on, which is really helpful. Before it was just like this is your fifth cousin twice removed. And you're like, well, what the does that mean? Where did it come from? It literally lays out which what it is. And so my dad, like my bio dad definitely has way more siblings than he ever thought. And then my dad's brother is not actually his brother and he's a full blown adult in his 40s and he does not know that one, he was adopted and two, my dad is not his brother. Do you guys believe ignorance is bliss? I think sometimes ignorance is bliss. Like there are situations that I guess,

[Lindsay]

like what does it change? But I, I would want to know if I had siblings.

[Becky]

Some people don't and they also don't want to believe it in the first place.

[Lindsay]

Even if someone popped out of, I've said this before, even if someone popped out of the woodworks now of, like, my dad having a kid out of wedlock. I would still want to know.

[Becky]

But you know what I think it is? It's like the millennials. The millennial generation, I think is changing the game a lot. Where generations before us, it's. You don't speak about it.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Do you know what I mean? And so, like, you keep family secrets a secret and you never speak about them, so.

[Lindsay]

Interesting.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

You're, like, such a mystery.

[Becky]

I don't know how we got on that topic, but

[Lindsay]

I'm not exactly too sure either. Anyway, I went out in the city. Have I talked about this yet? I don't think so, because we haven't seen each other. So. Kelsey and Carson are Lee and I's best friends. They had a kid 12 hours before us. We love them. Anyway, we made the intentional decision of making sure that we are spending more time as a family. We're getting time, Carson and I. Leah is getting time with Kelsey and her and then time together and just all the things. And then us taking their kids, them taking our kids so that we can get time together. So last month was the first month we started, like, planning things out. We went to the park as a family, ate dinner. Leah and Kelsey went to dinner together. And then Carson. I texted Carson and I was like, thinking. I was like, oh, what would Carson really like to do? What does Carson love? And he's a huge Manchester United fan. So I was like, okay, let me look up the Manchester United schedule to see, like, when their games are. And there was a game in a couple weeks on a Friday. So I looked up menu bars in the city to see where, like, Manu fans go. And so I texted Carson. I was like, hey, are you Free Friday the 20th? Like, there's this bar in the city that hosts menu games. Maybe we could go in into the city to watch it. And he was. He was off work, which is crazy. And so I hired us a driver

[Becky]

so that you can drink.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice (Various Ads)]

So that.

[Lindsay]

And boy, did we drink. We went. We went into the city, went to this bar, and, like, we're drinking for the game. He was having so much fun. Like, he's like a die hard fan. And then we went, like, bar hopping, like, afterwards, and like, taking. We ended the night taking some shots and, like, it was so much fun. And. And then Carson threw up. But, sorry, Carson. But it was just like, I don't know, it was like, really nice to. And. And Carson and I have always have, like, really great conversations just about life and just Our journeys because our wives are best friends too. And just talking about the change, the adjustment and all the things. All the things. And again, like we talk about value of friendship and just being intentional with friends. And I just. We just had so much and I love him so much. And it was just like such a good time to just not have any obligations except just to hang out and just like drink.

[Becky]

I love that. Yeah, I love that you and Leah have found some sort of a balance where you guys still get time with your friends and you guys make space for each other to do that. Because I think a lot of times when a couple has a new baby, it's a lot of like, you, you can't do that. You know what I mean? Like, it's. The other per person might start a fight about it or it's like, well, I'm not going to be stuck with the baby to do X, Y and Z and then you get to go out. You know what I mean? So I think that that's really cool that you guys give each other the, the flexibility and the space to do that because if you don't, that's where I think hits the fan sometimes.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, I think it's built off of trust too, because you have to trust someone to leave your kid with them as a. I think more so from the mother's side that motherly, like, Leah's like, very overprotective of Bex and is very like weird or uncomfortable when other people watch him. Even though she'll let them, it still just doesn't set her at ease. But she doesn't feel that way about me. Right. Like, she knows that Bex is in the best care and the best hands when he is with me.

[Becky]

I don't think it's that though. I think it's more like because of how hard it is that first year. And it's like you can't really do anything and you're. You're kind of tailoring your own schedule.

[Lindsay]

I mean, you've lost yourself too, like.

[Becky]

Yeah. So it's like, you know, that's more so what I mean, like giving each other the space because then you're not building resentment if you're giving them the opportunity to go, like, let loose a little bit and then come home. So that's cool that you guys were able to do that.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, it's a give and take. It's sacrifice. It's like sacrificing and not complain. Like, I don't think, I don't think we, either of us ever Complain about like it feel. It always feels equal. Even if like I spent. If Leah works night shift all weekend, that leaves me responsible for Beck's all weekend by myself. Like, I don't feel like I'm being put in a sit any other situation than what it is. Right. Like I.

[Becky]

You don't feel resentment for like her working and you being like, yeah, stuck with.

[Lindsay]

No.

[Becky]

Because that's your child.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. Absolutely not.

[Becky]

It could also be age too, maturity, you know, things like that.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. It's not like I'm going out and getting drunk all the time like I did five, 10 years ago.

[Becky]

Of course not. Of course not.

[Lindsay]

Again, it's so important to choose the right partner. Like, choosing the right partner is going to make or break your life significantly. And even more so as a parent. Right. Like, I could not imagine being with someone that I one, didn't trust with my kid or two, like, didn't, like they didn't have that ability to just handle like a child on their own. Because like that, that happens a lot in relationships. Right?

[Booking.com Announcer]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Couldn't be me. Couldn't be me. I was wondering, do you carry money in your wallet?

[Becky]

No. First of all, I don't even carry my wallet half the time.

[Lindsay]

I carry a wallet 20. But I would when Carson and I was at the bar, I saw this dude open his wallet and start going through cash. And he was probably younger. And I was like, people carry cash in their wallet.

[Becky]

So I think that a lot of people don't carry cash. But there are actually like big issues that could come from being a cashless society altogether. Like there's going to be big, big problems if.

[Lindsay]

Like what?

[Becky]

Just to list them off for you. Hold on, like she needs to ask chat first.

[Sponsor Voice (Various Ads)]

Ye.

[Becky]

No. Like I went down this rabbit hole. Yes, we know that it can be convenient, but I think less privacy. Every card swipe, tap, phone tap or online payment creates a record. That means banks, payment companies, and sometimes governments can see where money is being spent. So for some people this feels like a lot less financial privacy. That's like bottom of the barrel. Who really cares about that? But cybercrime and fraud is a big deal because of the digital systems that can be hacked. More fees for businesses. Businesses can often pay transaction fees for card and app payments. For small businesses, these, these fees can eat so much into their profit. So like the small businesses are the last people we want to affect. Right. Like that's a big deal. Obviously, like overspend. It includes some people. Not everyone has a bank account, smartphone, credit, credit Card or reliable Internet. Elderly people, low income individuals, undocumented people, and some rural communities can be disproportionately affected by this. But technology failures. If the Internet is down, card machines are down too.

[Lindsay]

Should I start carrying cash and paying?

[Becky]

But then you run into like a safety thing because you're like, if you're always carrying cash and losing cash. So this says if the Internet is down, card machines crash, your phone dies, or there's a power outage. You may not be able to buy essentials like gas, food or medicine. Recent go, recent global payment outages have been highlighted. Have highlighted this risk. That's a big deal too. And I think that just every single thing being on technology is such a scary thought. I just don't know that that's something that we would actually want is like a fully 100 cashless society.

[Lindsay]

I don't know. You know what, I'm just trying to survive.

[Becky]

So are you going to carry cash or no?

[Lindsay]

I don't think so. I carry a wallet. 20.

[Becky]

What's like a wall? What would you say that like, I

[Lindsay]

always like to try to have a 20 bill in my wallet.

[Becky]

Okay. Yeah. I mean like you never know if you just need like tip somebody or tolls randomly or just like I think I carry like, I don't know, like $10 of random bills somewhere for that purpose.

[Lindsay]

But I was walking out of Walmart I think the other day, and I say, I think because I don't know if it was Walmart or not, my brain isn't working. It might have been shop, right? They had one of, they had those quarter machines with like toys in it and stuff. And I, I said to Leah, like, I, we're gonna have to start carrying quarters because Beck is gonna want to like to do that because I remember being so excited when I was a kid to be able to get quarters and like get stuff out of those machines. So do your kids ask to for those things?

[Becky]

Lux and Creed, the older kids, not so much. But Lincoln's 12 and it's his whole thing is can I get cash app? Can I get Venmo? Can you Venmo me? Can I Apple pay? Like that's his thing now.

[Lindsay]

Do you think that there. Can we talk about this? Because I need to send you. I think I did send you. It was like a billionaire or millionaire talking about how he talks finances with his kids. He's very open about like their finances. And they have a quarterly meeting as a family so that they can discuss what everyone's doing with their Money so that when they're. He's gone, his kids have full insight. And what are his kids? Kids, they're older, but I. I've been seeing a lot of creators that built like their platform off of money management with their children by giving them a certain amount of money, letting them choose how much they want to put in their savings, how much they want to spend, and do they want to spend it on someone else? Do they want to spend it on themselves? And to help kids start to understand money management at a younger age, so when they reach and of age of moving out of the house, they have a little bit more understanding of it.

[Becky]

So I think I told you this before, but Elliot has. He makes money on social media and I have him take his taxes out and move it to his savings. Every single paycheck.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

And then he keeps X amount in his checking. X amount in his savings. And then he has that. He doesn't want to spend his own money. Before he does anything, he's like, do I have to buy this or will you buy it? And if I'll buy it, he's. He's down. But if he has to buy it, he's not getting it because he don't want to spend his money. There's.

[Lindsay]

But is. Isn't there, like value around?

[Becky]

Yes.

[Lindsay]

Like automatically that they don't always just assume there's value in that. But it's like you get $20 this week, you can spend it, save it. Right. Like it's helping. Like, is there. Do you make them pay, like, kind of like a rent so they can understand, like, that aspect of it?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

I don't know.

[Lauren and Chandler (Pop Apologist Podcast Hosts)]

The.

[Lindsay]

The millionaire thing I want to send to you because I think that you'll see value of that.

[Becky]

My parents did not do this for me when I was a kid. Every freaking dollar I got as a kid, I spent it.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

There was no saving.

[Lindsay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Becky]

Literally, my mom lived like that too. There was. I did exactly what I saw. I have decided to. That in the spring, I'm gonna have the kids. They need to start taking care of the farm animals. That's something that, you know, I have a farm hand right now. Elijah did it when we were together. We're not together anymore and I'm paying someone to do it for what. So.

[Lindsay]

But also you can link it to chores and have them, like, be able to make like, even if it's five bucks.

[Becky]

Yeah. Right. I don't think Lincoln would do it for five bucks, but he's gonna do it. I don't care.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Becky]

I mean, up until he leaves for his dad's in the summertime, they need to start doing farm chores and. And just you can do this. And then one, it gets them outside, but it's also like a responsibility. Responsibility. A responsibility, but it also will get them outside. Maybe they might want to stay outside after that. Like, okay, we did our farm chores. Now we're going to stay outside. You know, like, I want them to get used to that even. I mean, and the kids can learn responsibility with that all in one.

[Lindsay]

I. I agree.

[Becky]

Well, that's all we had time for today. I didn't realize we were talking for over an hour. Sorry to chalk yalls ear off. Don't forget to go get your tickets for tour. Hopefully they're not sold out by now. Brother Becky will be in Indianapolis, which is the first tour date. And I'm so excited. So go get your tickets@kayllory. Subscribe to for the haters. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast and you can follow us on Carmine Chaos on Instagram. We'll see you next week.

[Lindsay]

Love you. Bye.

[Becky]

See ya. Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it. And we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on killlowry.com and if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else.

[Lauren and Chandler (Pop Apologist Podcast Hosts)]

Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the hosts of Pop Apologist podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, Real housewives, drama, and anything and everything. Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that a listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for pop apologists. Pop apologists. Your new favorite sister and celeb podcast,

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[Lindsay]

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