Twitch, Throuples & Toxic Takes

Summary

Podcast Summary: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Episode: Twitch, Throuples & Toxic Takes
Release Date: June 24, 2025

Karma & Chaos is a vibrant podcast hosted by Kail Lowry and Becky Hayter, where they explore the intricate dance of friendship, parenthood, and modern adulthood with humor and heart. In the episode titled "Twitch, Throuples & Toxic Takes," released on June 24, 2025, Kail and Becky delve into a range of topics from birdwatching to complex relationship dynamics, all while maintaining their signature candid and relatable style.

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1. Gratitude and Hummingbird Feeder Adventures ([01:09] - [05:35])

The episode kicks off with Kail expressing heartfelt gratitude towards their listeners, particularly thanking a supporter named Elliot. Kail shares a delightful update about setting up a hummingbird feeder outside her office window, sparking an enthusiastic discussion about the various types of hummingbirds now frequenting her feeder.

Kail: "I have hummingbirds at my hummingbird feeder all day long." [02:13]
Becky: "Love that for you so much." [02:13]

The hosts discuss different species attracted to the feeder, including Ruby-throated and Anna's hummingbirds, and even a non-native rock dove. Kail reflects on her childhood memories of hummingbirds, noting how their presence now brings a sense of nostalgia and joy.

Becky: "So cute. And then I was like, we're gonna have so many mornings out here and days out here." [06:45]

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2. Leah's Pregnancy and Pop Culture Controversies ([08:04] - [11:02])

The conversation shifts to personal updates, with Becky sharing that Leah is still pregnant and dealing with "lightning crotch." They then transition to discussing Alessandra Fletcher, a queer artist embroiled in controversy for releasing a song titled "Boy" during Pride Month. This decision has sparked a heated debate within the queer community about bisexuality and racial representation.

Becky: "She built her whole entire platform off of lesbians or women. Women loving women." [10:10]
Kail: "Has JoJo Siwa weighed in?" [09:53]

The hosts explore the tensions between supporting artists' personal lives and their public personas, highlighting the complexities of identity and community expectations.

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3. Navigating Motherhood and Friendship Dynamics ([14:22] - [27:28])

Kail and Becky delve deep into the challenges and joys of motherhood, emphasizing the importance of supportive friendships. Becky recounts her experience spending several days with Kail and her children, expressing frustration over societal judgments that discredit successful mothers for balancing work and family.

Becky: "It really pisses me off when women are successful and they are discredited for their success because it takes them away from their children." [19:18]
Kail: "Being a bad mom, I think, is, like, nobody wants to be friends with someone that's a bad mom." [19:53]

They advocate for understanding and compassion, arguing that effective parenting comes in many forms and that societal expectations often unfairly burden mothers.

Becky: "I love you." [03:20]
Kail: "I have always felt that way about you, like, my kids getting to be around you." [17:10]

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4. Gender Roles and Parenting Responsibilities ([19:11] - [25:08])

The hosts dissect traditional gender roles in parenting, critiquing the societal expectation that fathers should primarily be the breadwinners while mothers manage the household and children. They discuss the pressures men face to provide and how this dynamic often leaves little room for emotional involvement.

Kail: "And I think whether you have one child or you have seven children, so many people want... the mentality shifts between a mother's role and a father's role." [19:11]
Becky: "I just think that men sometimes don't value their relationship with their partner enough." [42:52]

Kail shares anecdotes about involvement in her children's activities, highlighting the importance of being present beyond just providing financially.

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5. Listener Mail: Exploring Polyamory and Throuples ([30:35] - [50:17])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to responding to a listener's heartfelt letter about being in a throuple relationship. The listener navigates her bisexual identity, past toxic relationships, and a current polyamorous marriage with two children. She grapples with whether her situation represents "karma" for not fully embracing her bisexuality earlier or "chaos" due to the complexities introduced by her current arrangement.

Listener's Question: "Is this karma for not fully experiencing my bisexual side when I was younger? Or chaos because I met the man that'll never..." [30:35]
Becky: "I don't think that's karma or chaos. I think that's fate." [47:52]
Kail: "I think that that's love. And you met your person who's letting you explore those conversations with." [48:03]

Kail and Becky discuss the nuances of polyamory, emphasizing the importance of communication and the potential challenges of integrating multiple partners into a family dynamic. They caution against the emotional complexities that can arise, citing examples of friendships strained by such relationships.

Becky: "There is a slippery slope to go down because falling in love with a woman is so consuming and so emotionally like, like triggering that bringing a third into it." [48:03]
Kail: "It's a slippery slope to go down just because you never know." [49:08]

They conclude that while polyamorous relationships can be normalized, they require careful consideration and respectful handling to ensure the well-being of all parties involved, especially children.

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6. Gaming, Streaming, and Mental Health ([36:47] - [43:20])

Kail and Becky explore the realm of gaming and streaming, particularly focusing on platforms like Twitch. They discuss the benefits and drawbacks of gaming as a form of therapy versus the dangers of addiction.

Kail: "I'm not getting on live unless I'm getting paid. I am not talking shit unless I'm getting paid." [37:08]
Becky: "I use gaming as a form of therapy. It helped me through a really hard time." [39:04]

They address the challenges of balancing gaming with family life, sharing personal strategies for managing their children's gaming habits to prevent addiction and ensure healthy boundaries.

Kail: "If for anyone that listens to karma and chaos, that doesn't listen to coffee combos or vice versa, there was a time where like, I wouldn't say it was unlimited, but there was a time where like, they were always gaming." [40:27]

Becky emphasizes the importance of quality time with partners over excessive gaming, highlighting the potential strain it can place on relationships.

Becky: "If you were working nine hours a day and then getting home and gaming six hours a day, when do I have time with my wife who is my best friend?" [42:52]

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7. Hummingbirds and Nature Insights ([43:20] - [44:16])

In a lighter segment, Kail and Becky briefly discuss hummingbirds' behaviors during rain, sharing fun facts suitable for explaining to children.

Becky: "Hummingbirds find a safe cozy spot to rest. They sit really still, fluff up their feathers like a warm jacket and wait for the rain to stop." [43:07]
Becky: "Hummingbird nests are about the size of a golf ball." [43:20]

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8. Women's Health and Personal Well-being ([44:19] - [45:58])

Becky introduces a segment on women's health, discussing the challenges of vaginal imbalances and promoting a probiotic supplement from O Positive. She shares her personal experience of finding relief and improved confidence through the product.

Becky: "I felt a noticeable difference in just a few weeks. I just feel better, fresher, more confident." [44:16]
Becky: "It's about becoming the best version of yourself." [45:58]

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9. Closing Thoughts and Final Discussions ([50:17] - [54:32])

As the episode draws to a close, Kail and Becky reflect on the discussions they've had, reiterating the importance of being good parents and maintaining healthy relationships. They emphasize the value of supportive friendships and the need to protect their children's well-being amidst the complexities of modern relationships.

Becky: "Do not bring in a gay person because that starts muddying." [48:36]
Kail: "If you're a good person and you're not putting harm in front of your kids, I think there's worse things." [52:17]

They also promote each other's podcasts, encouraging listeners to subscribe and stay connected.

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Parenthood and Personal Life: Kail and Becky advocate for supportive friendships and understanding societal pressures on mothers, emphasizing the diversity of effective parenting styles.

• Navigating Complex Relationships: The episode provides insightful discussions on polyamory and the importance of communication and consent in non-traditional relationships.

• Mental Health and Gaming: They highlight the dual nature of gaming as both a therapeutic tool and a potential source of addiction, stressing the importance of balance.

• Embracing Authenticity: The hosts encourage embracing one's true self, whether it's through personal interests like birdwatching or navigating complex sexual identities.

Throughout the episode, Kail and Becky maintain a conversational and heartfelt tone, weaving personal anecdotes with broader societal issues, making the content both engaging and relatable for listeners navigating similar life stages and challenges.

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Notable Quotes:

• Gratitude:

  • Kail: "Thank you for the support, the amount of support that everyone has shown." [01:25]

• Hummingbirds:

  • Becky: "Love that for you so much." [02:15]

• Parenting and Friendship:

  • Becky: "It really pisses me off when women are successful and they are discredited for their success because it takes them away from their children." [19:18]
  • Kail: "Being a bad mom, I think, is, like, nobody wants to be friends with someone that's a bad mom." [19:53]

• Polyamory Discussion:

  • Becky: "I don't think that's karma or chaos. I think that's fate." [47:52]
  • Kail: "It's a slippery slope to go down just because you never know." [49:08]

• Gaming and Mental Health:

  • Becky: "I use gaming as a form of therapy. It helped me through a really hard time." [39:04]
  • Kail: "If you're a good person and you're not putting harm in front of your kids, I think there's worse things." [52:17]

---

Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter continues to provide a platform for open, honest conversations about the myriad challenges and joys of modern adulthood. Whether discussing personal hobbies, parenting struggles, or complex relationship dynamics, Kail and Becky offer listeners a blend of humor, empathy, and practical insights.

Transcript

[Experian]

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[Kale]

Hey everyone. Welcome to the shit show.

[Becky]

Good evening, good morning, I it up. Good morning. Wait, what do I say?

[Kale]

I didn't know there was an order to it. I thought it was just good evening.

[Becky]

Good morning, good day, good night. Whenever you're listening to this podcast, we're happy to have you here.

[Kale]

We are. And I would like to start this episode off with gratitude.

[Becky]

Oh, okay.

[Kale]

With gratitude. Thank you for the support, the amount of support that everyone has shown. Elliot, I appreciate it. And I would also like to give an update really quickly on my hummingbird feeder that I used. I got use your link and I purchased one and I have it right out here outside my office window. And I need to know what the facts are getting these hummingbirds to the hummingbird feeders because I will be totally honest with you, I've never seen a hummingbird near the vicinity of my home prior to putting that out there. And it's like they must have smelled it from miles away. And I have hummingbirds at my hummingbird feeder all day long.

[Becky]

Love that for you so much.

[Kale]

And I felt first started with Ruby throated hummingbirds. And I think that we recently picked up a new species of hummingbirds which is oh two. So I have three. Anna's hummingbird. Wait, is that a type of hummingbird? I believe it is a rock dove. And then Ruby throated hummingbird Crittercrat.

[Becky]

Oh, my God. What a lovely surprise. What's up, Creed? What's up, Romello? Whatever you're going by these days. When are you going to. When am I coming to your house? Oh, we. When are you coming to my house? Is the question. Well, you need to start asking your mom. Say, mom, bring me to Becky's house.

[Kale]

I asked you anything good? And what I asked her. And we didn't go there yet.

[Becky]

That's mean, right?

[Kale]

Don't feel this. Well, we'll go soon. I just gotta plan it. Okay? Okay.

[Becky]

I love you.

[Kale]

He said love you. So now we have three types of hummingbirds. Like I was saying, Anna or Anna's hummingbird, Ruby throated hummingbird and a rock dove. And they're just so cool because. And I also. I don't remember them being as small.

[Becky]

As they are so tiny.

[Kale]

My grandmother had hummingbirds all the time at her house, and I never. Maybe because I was younger, they didn't look so small to me. So now as an adult, when I see them outside my window, they're literally this big.

[Becky]

So I just looked this up. Okay. It says that ruby throated hummingbirds are common hummingbird species in Delaware. Rare and. Or occasional visitors. Is the Anna's hummingbird. So it's an accidental visitor. It's native to the west coast. Rare appearances on the east are noteworthy.

[Kale]

The video.

[Becky]

So you're so special. What was the other.

[Kale]

No, and the other one was a rock dove.

[Becky]

I don't see that on here. What about a rock dove? Is that not a hummingbird?

[Kale]

No, it is the rock dove. My regular bird feeder. My regular hummingbird feeder. I don't know if it gets the same amount of attraction. Yeah. And I did see ants and so that one's like a little iffy. But. No, the rock dove is definitely.

[Becky]

Yeah. It says here that the rock dove. It's also known as the common pigeon. It is not native to Delaware or North America at all, but it is a naturalized species that is now widespread and common in cities, towns, and rural areas across the U.S. including Delaware.

[Kale]

Well, the rock dove was here yesterday. Anna's hummingbird was here five hours ago. And the ruby throated hummingbird was here seven minutes ago. I had. The ruby throating hummingbird has had 142 visits to my bird feeder.

[Becky]

Yeah, the ruby throated is the. Is the most common.

[Kale]

But it doesn't have a ruby throat, does it?

[Becky]

Does yours? Doesn't look like, oh, that's not a ruby throated hummingbird. Or maybe it Is maybe the. That looks like a black chin hummingbird.

[Kale]

Well, it says maybe the ruby throat hasn't come in yet. I mean, I've seen them with. With the ruby throat, but that one specifically. Maybe it's. Maybe it's a baby. Maybe it doesn't have a ruby throat yet. Yeah, I've seen that one. So this one might not be mature or something. You know what I mean?

[Becky]

We need to get a hummingbird expert on the show.

[Kale]

Spencer Pratt. I'm like, it hasn't reached mat 30. Okay.

[Becky]

That is so freaking funny. I am very happy that you are enjoying the hummingbird as much as I am.

[Kale]

No, I. And I. It's right outside my window, so it's nice when I'm, like, on a call and I look out and there's, like, a freaking hummingbird. And it's. I have a hummingbird tattoo also.

[Becky]

Should I get one? Wow.

[Kale]

Because of my gr. I told you. Like, it just reminds me of my grandmother. So I had gotten that. Oh, God. Back in 2014, maybe somewhere around there. 14, 15. And so it's a full circle moment for me, you know?

[Becky]

Yeah. Leah and I were sitting outside. Any morning that I get when I get some time with Leah is just so nice because, like, our schedules are kind of always opposite or chaotic. She really likes to sleep. But I got back from the gym and she was up, and I said, do you want to join me outside for a cup of coffee? And so we, like, had a morning outside. She made us yogurt bowls, and we, like, looked over and we saw the hummingbirds, and it was just so cute. And then I was like, we're gonna have so many.

[Kale]

There's one right now. Oh, I didn't get it fast enough.

[Becky]

And then I. I said, we're gonna have so many mornings out here and days out here because I'm gonna get gates for the deck so that we can get it off completely so that a kid can hang out without us having to, like, chase him around.

[Kale]

Yeah, no, I love that. I think that's great. I. The kids haven't really seen the. I don't think that they have as much interest in the humming we do as adults, but. Oh, I think Crittercrat wants to show me Netflix. Thank you. Shout out to. Netflix has sent Crittercrat a package. How to train your dragon. And with this PR box, I believe it was Netflix. It might have been the movie itself. How to train your dragon. I don't know. Sent him the toys.

[Becky]

There's, like, a live action version Show.

[Kale]

You want to show her toothless? Go ahead. Hold it up.

[Becky]

Oh, my. Look how cool that is. Hold it up. Wow. Is that cool or what?

[Kale]

Is that cool?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Really excited about the toy. He's been playing with it since they sent it, so.

[Becky]

I want to. You want to. I want to watch that movie.

[Kale]

Should you all watch it together? He said yeah. All right. He's going to go play with it. How is Leah feeling? We're getting closer. How's she feeling? I need an update.

[Becky]

Leah is feeling good. No update to give. She's still pregnant. No baby. She did have lightning crotch. I think that's what they call it.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

She thought she was going into labor. Have you seen the news on Fletcher?

[Kale]

What's Fletcher?

[Becky]

Oh, Alessandra. You know who Fletcher is? Yeah.

[Kale]

Is that a person?

[Crittercrat]

Yeah, our girl. We need to, like, have our Gen Z is, like, give you a rundown.

[Kale]

Of, like, all the pop culture, like.

[Crittercrat]

At the top of, like, the month or something. And we just run it through, like.

[Becky]

Alexander, will you text the Gen Zs right now and say, becky just asked Kale about Fletcher, and she doesn't even know who that is? So there's.

[Kale]

There's a plumbing company out here called Fletcher Plumbing.

[Becky]

Relevant. Wow. How do you know? Anyways, Carrie Fletcher is a singer, songwriter. She. She. For the past, like, five years, probably, she's been, like, building her audience off of, like, sapphic love, right? Like, women. Like, lesbian love. She was in a relationship with Shannon. Whatever. I forget Bever. I forget her last name. They broke up. Shannon got a new girlfriend. She wrote a song about her new girlfriend, and it's like, becky's so hot and, like, this whole thing, right? Like. But she's built her plat. Like she was at Pride last year. She sang at Pride. She built her whole entire platform off of lesbians or women. Women loving women. She dropped. She dropped a new song yesterday, and it's called Boy, and it's about her being a relationship with a boy. And all of her merch just says boy on it. And so the queer community is in a civil war right now of, like, being pissed off that she did this during Pride month. And then the other half is like, you guys are biphobic. You're trying to buy race. Like, she's allowed to be dating a boy, too. And it's. It's a very interesting debate and debacle.

[Kale]

Has JoJo Siwa weighed in?

[Becky]

It's just a very interesting place to be. We. But we are. We talked about JoJo a little bit. It's not about her dating a man. It's just about her, like. Like she was dating someone when they. When that.

[Kale]

Yeah, it was more about, like the overlapping of timeline.

[Becky]

Yeah. It was just gross and like. And also JoJo kind of built her identity off of being a lesbian and not being bi. So it's like. But people have the right to change their mind. It's. It is. It's just a very interesting place to be. But there's also association. I saw something about Fletcher, who Al also is just now identifying as Carrie, and Fletcher was like, that's the whole thing carries her first name about her being a part of some cult too. And the whole, like, boy merch during, like, we're. We're like, we're not corporate companies are, like, not giving us merch this pride, like, a lot aren't. Karma and chaos is. So if you haven't gotten your pride merch yet, [e-mail] and so, like, her merch just being like, boy, like, it's just. It's an interesting play. She's pissed a lot of people off. And there is a divide.

[Kale]

Okay. And I think that's fair. I think it probably feels like taking several steps backwards.

[Becky]

So, yeah, I don't really know how I am. I. I wasn't like a Fletcher. Like, I wasn't like a die hard fan before her being a queer artist. Like, I, like, enjoyed it because, like, we love a good queer artist, but here we are. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Okay, can we just talk about something real for a second? There is still so much stigma around men's mental health. And honestly, it's frustrating. Somewhere along the line, we decided that being strong meant never asking for help. But that's just not it. Real strength, that's saying, hey, I'm not okay, and doing something about it. Men today are under so much pressure to be providers, to keep it together, to never drop the ball. So it's no surprise that 6 million men in the US struggle with depression every year. And the wild part, A lot of it goes on undiagnosed. If you're feeling that weight, don't carry it alone. Talk to someone. A friend, a family member, a therapist. Just start somewhere. I think therapy is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It's not just for when life falls apart. It helps you build skills, set boundaries, and actually know what you're feeling and why. It's about becoming the best version of yourself. BetterHelp is the world's largest therapy platform with over 35,000 therapists and more than 5 million people helped me globally and it's super convenient. You can join a session at the click of a button and switch therapists if you need to talk it out. With Better Help, our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com karma that's B E T T E R h e l p.com karma all right y' all.

[Elliot]

Whether you're searching for your next place to buy or rent, I'm sure you just want to scroll through some dream homes. And I'm suggesting the Redfin app. I just bought 20 acres in 2024. I like to just look through the Redfin app to get some inspo for my dream home, but also in case I decide I don't want to build and I want to buy again. I think it's amazing that they make it so easy. It's user friendly, especially because I'm not a tech savvy girly and I love how user friendly the app is. Redfin makes it fun to search all the homes for sale and apartments for rent in your neighborhood. You can filter for prices, beds, baths, square footage and so much more. And if you find the place you love, Redfin makes it easy to go see it in person. You just schedule a tour right from the app, which is different from some of the other apps. Plus, if you're looking to sell, Redfin agents know how to get you the best price possible for your home. And that's because they close twice as many deals as other agents. With a listing fee as low as 1%. Redfin's fees are half of what others often charge. And that means that you'll have more money to put towards your next home, which is amazing. So whether you're looking to rent, buy or sell, Redfin's got you covered. Download the Redfin app to get started.

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[Becky]

Speaking of queer, I listened to Elliot's Episodes yesterday. Bad choice on my part. I was on my way to a funeral and so I was already emotional and so I listened to it on my ride there. I called Kale like, 10 minutes in, I was b. I was bawling my eyes out.

[Kale]

I did. I do. I do want to say that I wish I talked less and I let him talk more.

[Becky]

I think that you are who you are, so that doesn't surprise me. Me, I think that there are going to be more opportunities for him to talk as well. I think the guidance that you gave him was really good. I didn't really honestly feel that, because in my mind, I went into the episode, it being for both of you. Right. Like, it was. You know, it was. It was both of your opportunities to kind of talk through everything. And so I didn't really. Isaac's also young or Elliot. Sorry. It's gonna be hard for me.

[Kale]

It's hard for me sometimes, but he doesn't care.

[Becky]

He told me. He's like, I don't care what you call me. Like, you've on me my entire life. So.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Becky]

Anyway. And that's.

[Kale]

And that's sort of what we talked about, too, in the episode is, like.

[Becky]

Which made me feel better.

[Kale]

Yeah. Because it's like. I mean, for me, like, when people started calling me Kale, I had to listen to listen for people to call me Kale. Now, it wasn't. It wasn't Kayla anymore. So for you, I'm sure it was the same. Like, do people always call you Becky?

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Like, since you were little.

[Becky]

Yeah. But I was gonna say he's still young. Right. Like, he's still finding his voice. So I think that you speaking was purposeful and also needed to help guide him a little bit. Because he's young, he could. Like, his words kind of are repetitive a little bit, and which is fine. Right. Like, he's finding his voice. So I think it was just neat. It was beautiful. I cried a bunch of times through it, and I, like, I just, like, couldn't, like, stop but think of, like, wow, like, I have a son that is gonna be around someone like him that, like, gets to, like, that stop.

[Kale]

I haven't cried today, so I don't want to cry today. I don't want to cry today.

[Becky]

But you know what I mean, though? Like, I'm just. I'm fortunate that my son is going to be exposed and be around such loving people, and him being one of them is, like, really meaningful to me.

[Kale]

And I have always felt that way about you, like, my kids getting to be around you. So it's a huge compliment to me. Not to me, but it's a huge compliment for the situation or I don't even know how to word it. Like, I'm not saying, like, I'm. I'm being complimented. I'm saying, like, it's a compliment that you want to be around. Like, you want your son to be around my son.

[Becky]

Yeah. I think that it just goes to show, too. And I'm trying. I don't want to, like, speak too much onto this because there's. There's separate topics. Right? Like, I think that there is some type of irony that this has been planned to come out for a while, but I think people needed to see, like. Like, what kind of kids you are raising and, like, the love and care that you're giving to them. Because obviously, with everything that has come out recently and just that it has been the hardest part for me is because I know your kids and, like, I know the love that is in that house that they're being raised in. And so I feel like this is just a glimpse for people to understand, like, why it feels so upsetting that, like, people question your. Like, you as a mother. Get it. No one here agrees with Kel's dating life. So I'm on your side.

[Kale]

I don't even know that. I do. Like, yeah, like, we get it.

[Becky]

Like, I. I get it. I get we get it. But, dude, I. I've said this so many fucking times on this podcast. Being anytime I get the. The opportunity to be in Kale's presence at her house with her kids, it makes me want to have a million fucking kids because of how much love her kids show her. And, like, they are so. Even Kale herself, like, she is so present with them when she is with them, and you guys don't get to see that. And I know that it sounds like I'm just blowing smoke up her ass, but I promise you, that is not the kind of person that I am. I wouldn't have people around me that, like, I would question, like, their morals and their values, too.

[Kale]

And that's the thing, too, is, like, people don't want to be friends with bad moms. So it's not even about enabling anybody. It's like, I don't want to be friends with someone who's not a good mom, because I don't align myself with that. So for me to say. To say, oh, you know, people are enabling Kale. Well, I think it's two separate conversations. People are allowed to stay my friend and not agree with me. Right? Like, that's just a part of life. But being a bad mom, I think, is, like, nobody wants to be friends with Someone that's a bad mom. I also just like to say if you run it back a couple months, months. You literally asked me, did I train my kids to sit at the table? Did I train my kids to do the. This was like months before that. So like I just.

[Becky]

And I've been saying this month for months now too. I spent a week, not even a full week with Kale and her kids. It was during the war, it was during the school week. I was exhausted when I got home from all of the driving that she does. It was three days of driving, five or whatever. How many kids? Three kids, four kids to different schools in the morning, sitting in waiting lines because the timing is off by a little bit. Then after school, picking up kids, making sure that they're getting food, dropping them kids off. Maybe one wants to go home, other another one wants to go to a practice. Another one, I was exhausted. I spent three days, four days with you. It, it really pisses me off when women are successful and they are discredited for their success because it takes them away from their children. When like normal people like myself, Leah, Alessandra, like we are all in a position where like we won't be as active or present in our kids lives. Well, maybe not because I work from home, but because of the work. Like normal people work nine to fives, like normal people are working. And so to say that they're, you can't drop your kid off or you can't be at practice discredits you from being a good mom is just a slap in the face to so many mothers that are working three shifts, are working three jobs just to keep food on the table. Like it, it really, like that really fudgeing bothers me because like there's so many people in this world who work tirelessly day and night just to keep their kids alive. And like they're also struggling with not being present. And so when you have someone that's discrediting someone as a mother because of, because of simple and small things like that, like not showing up to practice, not whatever that is. It's. I think about the everyday people that might hear that and they're going to feel like, are they a bad mom? Is that how people are looking at them? And that's just not true.

[Kale]

And with that being said, I know that a lot of people ask me how I manage having seven kids and there's no way I can bond with all of them individually and there's no way that I can be there for all of them. And I think whether you have one child or you have seven children, so many people want. Well, we all have mom guilt. Every single one of us has mom guilt, whether it's one child or 12. But the second, the second, second part of that is whether you have one child or 12 children. I would venture to say that most people, most working parents, relying on either other people or busing systems or neighbors, teammates, whatever, to get you to practices, to sports, to theater, to whatever that looks like. And it's just interesting to me to see how the mentality shifts between a mother's role and a father's role. Like a father goes on a business trip. That is his job. That's how he provides. Business provides for the family. It's not okay, preach. Do you know what I mean?

[Becky]

Hell yeah, I know what you mean.

[Kale]

Yeah brother. What do you say?

[Becky]

Hell yeah brother. Okay, so real talk. I used to dread my morning coffee. Like I love the taste, love the ritual, but the aftermath, bloating, jitters, and the mid morning crash that had me questioning all of my life choices. Then I found Everyday Dose. It's coffee with benefits. We're talking 100% Arabica coffee blended with functional mushrooms like lion's mane and chaga, collagen protein and nootropics. It gives me that clean, focused energy without the crash or the why is my heart racing? Moment. And the best part? My stomach is actually happy now. No more bloat, no more puffiness, just smooth mellow energy that lasts. I switch between their Coffee plus and Coffee plus Bold depending on the vibe. Coffee plus is a light and smooth super gentle on my stomach. Bold is richer and gives me that extra kick without going overboard. And listen, this stuff is third party tested mold free and it takes literally 30 seconds to make. Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30 servings of Coffee plus or Bold Plus. You'll also receive a starter kit with over a hundred dollars in free gifts, including a rechargeable frother and gunmet serving spoon. By going to everyday.com karma or entering karma at checkout, you also get free gifts throughout the year. That's everyday.com karma for 45% off your first order. When the when did things change? I want to you'll know this when did things change? I would be pissed if my parents were at my athletic practices growing up. Parents didn't go to athletic practices when I was younger. Like they went to the game maybe. My dad never went to anything. I never questioned him as a father for doing that. But like you didn't go to practices.

[Kale]

No. I think maybe the age. But even because I didn't play sports when I was 7 and 8 years old, so I can't speak to that. But, I mean, I know that there are parents, and this is no disrespect to them, so I hope none of them hear this and get upset with me. But there are parents on Lux's team that sit in the car.

[Becky]

Yeah. As they should. That's.

[Kale]

And I don't give a. Like, I feel like I've never questioned any of the teammates. Parents. For sitting in the car. Like, you're there. I don't give a shit. Like, your kid is where they need to be. If anything, I'm probably doing my child a disservice.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Sitting on the sidelines, especially because you.

[Becky]

Don'T know about the sports.

[Kale]

Not gonna lie to you. One of the girls on Lux's team yesterday. There was a game yesterday, and the coach is sort of playing with the positions or whatever. I know Lux was forward. He was playing. Playing forward. Like, the position was forward. Put one of the girls on, like, a. And I. I don't know what position it was. And one of the moms goes, you really sound like you know what you're talking about. I said, what is that? Center, back wing? I don't know what's going on. And she was like, wow, you really sound like, you know. I said, I'm taking shots in the dark.

[Becky]

She was gassing you up. That's the kind of friend you don't need.

[Kale]

She's gonna hear this and be like, your friend said that I can't. No. And so I'm cracking up because I really. I don't know. And so games. I'm still gonna yell what I. What? I'm gonna get it wrong. But for practices, like, I don't need to be yelling things out unnecessarily.

[Becky]

You shouldn't be talking at practice.

[Kale]

It's social hour for soccer moms.

[Becky]

No. Yeah, but you shouldn't be telling, like, God, I'm never coaching youth sports. No way.

[Kale]

Parents. That's the problem.

[Becky]

Not the kids, apparently.

[Kale]

And what's so funny? There's a child on the soccer team named Kale. A boy.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And so when the coach yells kale, I'm, like, turning my head. I'm like, look, there's a Lux, there's a Kale, there's an Eli. And Elijah goes by Eli. And I'm like, there is everybody on this field, and it is chaos.

[Becky]

What a great conversation. I'm happy to have gotten that off my chest a little bit. So even though the people that are listening aren't the people that need to hear it.

[Kale]

No. And. And that's the hardest part too is like, the people that I. We want to get the message to aren't. Aren't present. And the people that, you know.

[Becky]

What a time to be alive. I saw an interesting TikTok. It was about two divorced parents and they had two kids. And instead of making the kids go back and forth between their houses, they went back and forth between the house.

[Kale]

There's a name for it. There's a name for this type of bird nesting or nesting.

[Becky]

Bird nesting?

[Kale]

Yeah, bird nesting. The term bird nesting or nesting is when children of divorce stay in the nest, the family home, while the parents rotate in and out of the home. Altered, alternating shifts during their parenting shifts.

[Becky]

Yeah, I, I found that was the first time I ever saw something like that. And I found it to be very interesting. Leah and I always say that if we ever broke up that I would just move downstairs.

[Kale]

So I want to say it was Aurora Culpo maybe, or somebody in the public eye, in the, you know, a public figure of some sort, maybe Kristen Kapli. I don't know who it was. It was. Somebody talked about that. And it, it works until it doesn't. Right. Like, and I don't know if, you know, for some families, that might be the transition that they need. And for some families, they're like, okay, we tried it and this was absolute hell. I know. I believe it was also on the show Sex Life at one point. And I don't know if that's the right show that I was watching that it was on, but I could, I would do it.

[Becky]

I could see that. I could see it working until, like, you get into a serious relationship with someone else because then you're, you're, you're having a partner that's coming in and out with you.

[Kale]

Well, no, see, I was thinking if it was me and I was doing this, my thought would be like, we'll use my house as an example. If Elijah is coming and going, I would, it would almost be more like living a double life because my partner would only be at the other house, would not come and go to this house with me. It's more so how I see it going. However, if the kids are not really going to that house, all of the coming and goings of with your partner, like, they wouldn't really be a part of your children's life. And like, for me I want to have, whether it's the father or another partner would want to build a life together. And I don't think there's a real way to do that. And so I think for some families, if it works for like a transitional period, that makes.

[Becky]

Yeah, it seems like a good transitional period. It will also depends on the breakup and the reason and like how you're going to manage that relationship, how you're going to like if, if you are on speaking terms. You typically don't have really great relationships after you leave them. So I don't really think that it would work for you.

[Kale]

Sorry.

[Becky]

It's okay.

[Kale]

Working from home has proven to be a little challenging for me.

[Becky]

Did you hear what I said?

[Kale]

No.

[Becky]

I said that you, you don't end relationships well. So I don't.

[Kale]

I. I don't and I will. I would love to say that I will work on that, but I hope there are no more to work on.

[Becky]

So.

[Kale]

One can hope.

[Becky]

Yeah, I have a. A funny. I don't know if it's a story. A friend of mine reached out to me after we posted our poly episode. She had gotten a divorce and her new husband is bisexual and they like they had been married, they're married for a while and her new husband had told her and showed interest in hooking up with her ex husband. And so that had like trans like made it into a like throuple relationship. And now they like her and her ex husband had kids together so now they all live under a roof like raising like the family together. Isn't that like fascinating?

[Kale]

And the husband's hookup was the first husband of bisexual as well. Oh, so the new husband was the old husband's gay awakening.

[Becky]

People are so interesting. Like I was like hell yeah.

[Kale]

Like, because I cried. It's so interesting because I feel like it's one of those things where like a lot of straight men, there's like a stigma surrounding gay men and like for a straight man to be open minded enough to do that, find it.

[Becky]

This might be a little controversial, I think because of how sexual men are. I think that because of it being like so gay, like of them wanting to like have sex with a dude, that it is just like, like what is the word I'm looking for? Like society makes it such a bad thing that it is engraved in their mind to never even think or question it. I think that if we lived in a world where like homophobia never existed, there would be no type of sexuality except for it super fluid. I think that all men would hook up with men. And like there's. Men are such sexual beings that there's no way that like in my mind that's how I feel. But we'll never know.

[Kale]

That is so interesting because I do feel like men are so impulsive and so sexual and so like just on a different level than women that I've always thought the opposite of what I'm about to say. I think that men. Yeah. I think that they could just have sex with other men and it wouldn't be as big of a deal. But because they're in their own, they're inside their own head. Heads about it.

[Becky]

Yeah. And it's like, like, like portrayed as like to be such a gross thing that it's embarrassing, Right? Yeah.

[Kale]

But I also wonder too, like for men specifically, like that doesn't mean they're in love with that man.

[Becky]

Hell no.

[Kale]

It's like a sexual.

[Becky]

It's purely sexual.

[Kale]

So interesting.

[Becky]

Yeah. I always think about. This is like my argument always not to get religious again. But if you dropped a hundred thousand people off, let's say ten thousand. A hundred thousand. If you drop ten thousand people, you wipe their memory of all things that they know from a societal perspective, from religion, from sexuality, from anything. You drop 10,000 people off on an island and they're forming a new place. What are the odds of these people? Like, they're not going to know a God, they're not going to know a religion, but like they're all going to start hooking up with each other for sure.

[Kale]

It's so interesting because I think you're like, well, and I think just by nature, like I've always felt fluid my whole life. Like my first crush ever was a girl. So like to me, I've always felt like fluid.

[Becky]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So like I feel like that is the most natural. So weird. That is so crazy. Yeah.

[Becky]

So that's my, that's my thought for today. Okay. I gotta tell you about the easiest switch that I made this summer. And no, it wasn't from iced coffee to Matcha. I finally ditched my old wireless plan. It was like paying luxury prices for fast food service. Mint Mobile changed the game with plans starting at just 15 bucks a month. Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. So yeah, same speed and coverage I had before, just way, way less expensive. And I still get high speed data, unlimited talk and text. And I didn't even have to get a new phone. I just popped in the mint sim, kept my number, kept my contacts, Done. The quality is awesome and I'm saving so much money this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium Wireless [e-mail] Karma that's mintmobile.com Karma Upfront payment of 45 for three months. Five gigabyte plan required, equivalent to 15amonth. New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. I used to dread taking off my sunglasses because every single time they'd snag my hair like every strand was getting yanked. But then I found Shady Rays and specifically their tangle free collection. And I am never going back. These shades have specifically designed nose pieces that don't mess with your hair so you can slide them on and off without wrecking your perfectly shaped bun. Honestly, it's a game changer. They've got every style you could want from classic aviators to bold cat eye frames. And they actually hold up. No bending, no cheap feeling frames. But what really sold me, their lost and broken protection. If anything happens to your shades, they've got you covered. Plus, if you don't love the fit, you can exchange or return them within 30 days. So yeah, it's risk free, super stylish, and with over 300,000 five star reviews, you know you're in good hands. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for this season. Head to shadyraze.com with code karma for 35% off their premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer sun. Have you ever thought about starting a Twitch channel?

[Kale]

What is twitch? It's like YouTube.

[Becky]

How do you exist in a world? You have six boys.

[Kale]

What do we have?

[Becky]

You're right.

[Kale]

Oh, seven children.

[Becky]

But, but she has six boys. So I was right too. Twitch is like a street, like a live. Like streaming for what people play video games. Like there' people that do like talk on it.

[Kale]

Here's the thing about streaming. And, and, and, and let me say this. I'm not getting on live unless I'm getting paid. I am not talking shit unless I'm getting paid.

[Becky]

That's literally the whole point of Twitch is to get paid.

[Kale]

But it's gaming and I don't game.

[Becky]

Okay, you're an idiot. Twitch isn't all gaming.

[Kale]

Oh, okay.

[Becky]

But you could play like the Sims if you wanted to and just chat while you were building a Sims. And you can make a lot of money.

[Kale]

If I could make money with whatever you're talking, I'm Not. I have no hand finger coordination. Eye finger coordination. So there's no way that I'd be able to like, game and make any money.

[Becky]

You don't. You've never played Sims before?

[Kale]

No. The only game that I ever really played was Mario, and I always was crashing into the wall. I can never stay the course, you know what I mean? And I think that that is very symbolic to my real life is that I'm always just crashing into the fucking wall. I can't ever just be on the track fair. So I. I'll get on live and do battles on Tick Tock if it's gonna get me paid. No, I'll do lives on anywhere that's gonna get me paid. I'm not talking for free. I'm not getting on lives for funsies anymore.

[Becky]

No, that. I think you should start a Twitch channel.

[Kale]

So what. What is Sims? How would I do that? Do I need finger eye coordination for that?

[Becky]

No.

[Crittercrat]

You Rebecca hater. I'm gonna sue you for emotional distress if you give her any more business ideas. One singular more business idea. I'm gonna sue you.

[Kale]

Gonna sue you. We're too happy over here. Okay, okay. Oh, my God.

[Becky]

Anyway, I say that. I'll just say when. I spent a couple years of my life, like, always having to have Twitch on in the background. Like, I would always watch Twitch streamers. That was in my COD days. I used to play COD a lot.

[Kale]

Do you get on the sticks with my exes?

[Becky]

I do get on the sticks. Not with your exes.

[Kale]

Oh, okay. Because they also play COD when I was there.

[Becky]

When I was there with. They wanted. Lux and Creed wanted me to play. Or was it Lincoln? They wanted me to play Fortnite with them. And I played a game and I came in second, and they were, like, hyping me up. It was cool.

[Kale]

It's so funny because, like, I can't remember a time where. I mean, I guess maybe Javi played Call of Duty once in a while, but, like, while I was with any partners I've had, they weren't gamers. And then now they're all gamers. Do you play Pokemon Go ever?

[Becky]

No, not my thing. I use. I use video games. And every woman on here or whoever is dating a man, whoever is on this, listening. I use gaming as a form of therapy. Like, I started gaming in 2020, and, like, it helped. It significantly helped my mental health because it was the only time that my mind stopped. Like, it stopped overthinking everything. Like, I was in a moment with my friends enjoying what it was like I stopped thinking about shit that made me want to fucking take a dirt nap. And so like, honestly, gaming got me through like a really like was a part of what got me through a really hard time. And now anytime I get the opportunity to play, I get to play with friends and like, it gives me time, like time to like get with them and like feel like I'm connecting with them. Especially like my guy friends.

[Kale]

Well, I think it's cool because there is definitely a line though because I feel like similar to social media, I think gaming can also be just as like addicting. I think that's the right word. I was gonna say like draining, but I don't. But like from a mental standpoint, like the people that are addicted to gaming and are on gaming like hours and hours and hours a day, I think that that can be really, really tricky. And so my kids have to ask to get on and they don't all have PlayStations. They don't have them in every room. Like they're. It's just not something that we. We don't even do it every day. Because I did notice and I've talked about this on coffee combos, but if for anyone that listens to karma and chaos, that doesn't listen to coffee combos or vice versa, there was a time where like, I wouldn't say it was unlimited, but there was a time where like they were always gaming. And I noticed the meltdowns and the triggers and the irritability. They weren't gaming and it was just. For me, it was too much as a mom, so we had to shut that down. And so now, I mean, they really don't. They really are not. They're they game sometimes, but it's not every day and it's not for multiple hours a day.

[Becky]

I would agree. I also. Should I back that 100. If your husband or partner or girlfriend or whoever it is is gaming way too much, I don't support that.

[Kale]

Do I think it's weird? Do you think it's Weird if late 20s, 30s, 40s, you're on gaming six plus hours a day?

[Becky]

I mean, I guess. Are they making money from it? Are they working outside of those six plus hours a day? It is. I don't think it. I think weird's the wrong word to use. I think it's concerning.

[Kale]

Like, I think it's concerning if you have a family and you are working and you come home and you're getting on the. Specifically men. I feel I know of people who their. Their man is coming home from work and immediately on the game for six plus hours. So with that being said, they're most likely not.

[Becky]

I mean I think it's subjective to people's relationships. I could never imagine like not having quality time with Leah and like that seems like I would not be able to have quality time with her if I was working nine hours a day and then getting home and gaming six hours a day. Like when do I have time with my wife who is my best friend? And so I, I just don't. I think that men sometimes don't value their relationship with their partner enough and they like do like that. But I don't know.

[Kale]

Interesting.

[Becky]

Everyone's different.

[Kale]

Yeah. Just curious. Do you think hummingbirds come out in the rain? Where do you think they go when they're not eating?

[Becky]

Good question.

[Kale]

Do they, how big do you think their eggs are?

[Becky]

3 inches.

[Kale]

Bigger than a robin's egg?

[Becky]

No. 2 inches. Maybe 1 inch.

[Kale]

That's bigger than their own bodies.

[Becky]

How big is a hummingbird egg? Oh, it is wild. It is about the size of a jelly bean or a Tic Tac.

[Kale]

I just was wondering because it's pouring out here, it's like just like raining so bad and obviously there's no hummingbirds at the feeder. And so I was wondering like where do they go when it's raining?

[Becky]

You know, I said I'm asking where do they go when it's raining? Answer like you're speaking to a five year old. Said when it's raining. Hummingbirds find a safe cozy spot to rest. Kind of like how you stay inside when it's stormy out. They apply to a place that keeps them dry, like under big leaves and branches of trees. Sometimes even under your porch roots, roof, or near a nest if they have one. They sit really still, fluff, fluff up their feathers like a warm jacket and wait for the rain to stop. They're tiny, but they're super smart about staying safe. I love that I said it to respond like it was talking to a five year old. So best, best way to keep your attention.

[Kale]

I mean for me I'm, I need to be responded to like I'm a five year old.

[Becky]

So yeah. Hummingbird nests are about the size of a golf ball.

[Kale]

That's it.

[Becky]

Wow. Real talk. There's nothing fun about feeling off down there. Whether it's discomfort, that not so fresh feeling or wondering why is my body suddenly doing this? It's frustrating and honestly kind of distracting. I didn't realize how common vaginal imbalances until I started paying attention to what I was feeling and then I found Euro from O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company. They offer a range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last. Euro is a daily vaginal probiotic that supports healthy pH, smell and overall balance. It's made with four clinically back strains of Lactobacillus and prebiotics to actually support vaginal health, not just mask symptoms. And here's the kicker. I felt a noticeable difference in just a few weeks. I just feel better, fresher, more confident and like my body's doing what it's supposed to again. OH Positive is committed to breaking down stigmas and addressing issues many women experience hormone health, vaginal health, menopause and so much more. If you're dealing with reoccurring imbalance or just want to support your vaginal health proactively, go to oh positive.com karma or enter karma at checkout for 25 off your first purchase. That's O P O S I T I V.com karma for 25% off.

[Kale]

Well, on that note, I do have a little Is it karma or is it chaos for this episode? Hello, Good morning and good night is how it starts. I have a bit of a juicy one. I've always known I was bisexual and came out to my parents in high school. I'm a 33 year old female who's attracted to both and I feel like I can rate with and I feel like I can relate with Kale, but also you Becky. I've heard your stories throughout the years and I'm so excited to see you both back together and killing it in your friendship but also in this world. Congrats on baby Becks. So like I said, I came out as bisexual in high school and although I'm I had an incredible support system from my parents, I was never able to be myself or explore myself in those earlier years. Becky, I've heard your story about coming out and even though you didn't know in your younger years, I'm sure it feels incredible to be where you are today. I jumped from relationship to relationship with really toxic men who put me through the wringer until finally at 23 I decided to be done with all men. I finally chose myself. I worked a 9 to 5, hung out with people that respected me and were my ride or dies. I explored places I had never been and finally at 25 I slept with my first girl. This changed my confidence, my view on life but also not sleeping with men for two years can do that to you. You. Long story short, today I'm almost six years married to a man that not only respects me in every life decision I have ever made, but we have been able to explore every sexual fantasy together besides one. He's 44, so there's an age gap and he's only been with two women in his lifetime. Short story long, he wants me to be happy in my sexuality, but I'm unsure how to go about that. We have two kids together, three and five. And I will never leave his side. But I'm not opposed to bringing another into the mix. Mix? Is this karma for not fully experiencing my bisexual side when I was younger? Or chaos because I met the man that'll never. Oh, wait. Or chaos because I met the man that'll give me whatever I want, even when I don't know what I fully want? Appreciate any advice you can give and love listening to you both together and separately. Love you girls and thank you for taking the time to read.

[Becky]

I don't think that's karma or chaos. I think that's fate.

[Kale]

I think that that's love. And you met your person who's letting you explore all the things and is open minded because a lot of people would not be open to that.

[Becky]

No. If you're on the same page, it's a slippery slope to go down because falling in love with a woman is so consuming and so emotionally like, like trigger, like triggering that bringing a third into it. You. I think that there just needs to be conversations about safe ways to do it. Like are you looking to bring a third in for. From a relationship just from a sexual like perspective. If it's just sexual, do not bring in like a gay person because that starts muddying. Why are you smirking like that?

[Kale]

Because I don't know what you're about to say.

[Becky]

Give Kale a call.

[Kale]

Give Kale a call.

[Becky]

I don't think it's karma or chaos. I think it's cool that you found someone that you can explore those conversations with. It's not. It's. It is a slippery slope to go down just because you never know. Like Kayla said a million times, I think it's easily to fall in love with multiple people. So when you bring in someone and invite into kind of your world, there's always that chance that it can disrupt it.

[Kale]

Well, so somebody I know, I'm. You guys won't be able to figure it out. So I feel fine sharing this. But she a girl that I'M friends with said that, you know, she was married to a man and there was a third, a woman. And she said it was great, especially like in the house and stuff too, because like, for. For the kids it was like a third parent. But when it was done, she was like, I'm literally reading the text messages from her. She was like, when it was done, it was. It was bad. You didn' lose one person, you lost two. Because it was like simultaneous. So that was really hard. She said, going through a divorce and a breakup at the same time, never again. It was a lot being a mom, a stepmom, a wife and a girlfriend. Alice under said my queen.

[Becky]

Yeah, valid. Perfect example, right? Like it's all fun and games in the beginning and then when someone. Someone gets tired of it or someone wants to go with the like, slippery slope, but fun that you're in a position that you can think about exploring it yet. So I don't think it's karma or chaos.

[Kale]

Now my next question is, when you're in a polygamist or polyamorous relationship or you are in a throuple or something like that, should that be normalized?

[Becky]

I think it should. Right. Like, I. I don't think that there is a rule book to like what kids are supposed to be raised as we're basing our lives off of people that had slaves. Like there's. You know what I mean? Like, I think that there's respectful ways to do it too. I don't think, I think that, like, I think toxic relationships. If I say Leah and I brought in a third person into our relationship, right. I would argue that that situation is more healthy than two people that have a toxic relationship. Right. Like the arguing, the unhealth, like the fighting, the whatever that is. Like, if you're a good person and you're a good parent, your dating life is. Means a lot less than if you are constantly intoxic, like bringing just fighting and arguing and like just toxic situations around your kids.

[Kale]

Okay. It doesn't mean that it's not traumatic at all, but I think where the focus is more on what's healthy versus what's not. It's still there. Yeah, but not like I did.

[Becky]

I dated someone with kids and like I met her kids right away, like almost right away and. But like she would. She was an awful person. But like I didn't bring any toxic nature to those kids lives. Right. Like I was just in. And like littler kids, like, I'm still just a friend. Like I'm just a friend. That's around. Like, around more. Right. They're not understanding relationships and things of those sorts. At least that in my mind. What do I know?

[Crittercrat]

My friend from college did that because she got married really on.

[Becky]

She got married at 19.

[Crittercrat]

So then when they were like 20 before they brought another woman into their relationship and they were in a throttle for like three years. But the kids were so little. They didn't know that that's what she was like. They knew that she was like a friend who came around a lot and almost like an aunt figure, but they didn't know. But that doesn't go to say that her removal, because they did eventually break up with her from their lives, didn't affect them. Just like my removal from my friends.

[Becky]

I had a friend and I was.

[Crittercrat]

Really close to her daughter, and we're not really close anymore. And it's really hurt me. And I'm sure it's really hurt her. Like, that's one of the things that actually has kept me in friendships way longer than I should have because I have a close attachment to their kid. And so I think anybody who is close to your kid and coming out of the life is traumatic in a way. I don't think it has to be a romantic partner. It's whoever loves your kid. Like, if you and Kale were to stop talking to Mario Creed and all the kids would be affected. It's the same thing. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale]

No, I. I wholeheartedly agree with you, and I just. Just was curious to see what your thoughts were surrounding the whole thing.

[Becky]

End of the day, just be a good person and don't. Like, there's just such bad parents out there that put their kids in, like, such awful positions and, like, use their kid as, like, bait in. In arguments and bait in relationships. And it's just. It's really frustrating to see. So at the end of the day, if you're a good person and you're not putting harm in. In front of the way of your kids, I think that there's worse things. Do I always agree with it? No, but, like, it's. I don't agree with a lot of.

[Kale]

My kids didn't know who was.

[Becky]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Kale]

Like, to this day, I mean, you literally heard Elliot say, like, you did. Like, that's who it was. Like, he didn't know. Yeah, he didn't know. Not saying it's okay. Just saying, like, what do I know?

[Becky]

I don't have any kids.

[Kale]

Just saying, where can people find you? Tell us where they can download and subscribe to for the Haters podcast and let us know.

[Becky]

No, you can find me at hater25 on all forms of social media. Follow along the mini vlogs. I'm about to be a mom. I might be a mom by the time this comes out. Who knows? Well, listen and listen to for the Haters.

[Kale]

For the Haters, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast, you are listening right now.

[Becky]

Go right now to Spotify, Apple. Follow for the Haters. Turn your notification on. Just give her a listen.

[Kale]

Yeah, listen, subscribe, tag a friend, go follow them on Instagram and we'll see you guys next week.

[Becky]

Love you.

[Justin Sylvester]

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[Blakely Thornton]

I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blakely Thornton. Join us for Yesterday's the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial up those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Bennifer, Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch and so much more. So please rate up us subscribe to us on Apple, podcasts, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and cash, app ach or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know we're gay today.