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Karma
Foreign.
Chaos
Hello, good morning, good evening, good night.
Karma
That's my line. Good morning, good evening, good night, good day. Hello everyone and welcome back to Karma and Chaos.
Chaos
And there's lots of Chaos.
Karma
There is lots of chaos. We haven't recorded in a while because we stacked up a bunch and we haven't seen each other or talked to each other in weeks.
Chaos
I'll be right back.
Karma
Anyway, hey everyone.
Friend 1
We love it over here at Karma and Chaos to start in our day.
Karma
With a little bit of chaos, a little bit chaos. We're not an irl. That means that there's always the chance of a child interruption, which is just how much is.
Chaos
Okay.
Karma
Welcome back everyone.
Chaos
Do you remember what we texted about? And you said save that for the podcast and make sure you write it down because I remember me saying something that I wanted to tell you about and you told me to write it down and I said I did, but I in fact did not. So I lied. And then now I don't remember what it was.
Karma
How am I supposed to know what it was when you didn't tell me anything about it?
Chaos
Let me go in the see if there's a way for me to.
Karma
You told me to write down high school.
Chaos
High school, yeah.
Karma
Like to talk about. We'll get there, but I have a couple other things my priority list to talk through.
Chaos
Okay let's do it.
Karma
You didn't prepare anything.
Chaos
Yeah, whatever it was that I told you I was gonna tell you and.
Karma
Then don't remember now, first and foremost, happy launch day. This will come out next week. So for the haters, it's officially out.
Chaos
The Season 3 launch which you were so excited about, long awaited. You get some sound effects in this bitch?
Karma
Yeah, go. Listen, it's been just amazing. I'm really excited about this season. A lot of really great stories. Listen, give some feedback, let me know what you think. Number two, today is Ms. Roni's birthday.
Chaos
Today.
Karma
Today is Leah's birthday.
Chaos
Happy birthday. Let me go text her in the girls chat.
Karma
She is 30 years old. Today I went to the gym this morning. She wanted to go to the diner for breakfast. Her best friend Natasha's here. So I went and got flowers and I set them up at the diner and got like a card and she walked in and it was really cute. So we had.
Chaos
That's really cute. So is she off today or does she have to work today?
Karma
She's off today. Natasha's here. Natasha is making dinner. We're going to have dinner. I'm going to stop over at Swayze. Today's a wild day always for me, Mike. Today's also Mike's death anniversary. My best friend that passed away in 2016. So we all go to Swayze where his ashes are. So I'll go there today too to see his family and to see friends. Today's the first. This year's the first year that Dan and I are like really friends again. And so like it was always Dan, like Mike, me, Dan and Eric. So it feels a little bit more meaningful this year to have that with him, like with him back kind of in my life. So a lot of things happening today. Launch day, Leah's birthday, Mike's day, what else? We had our baby shower this weekend and I have a lot of feelings about it. Alessandra listening. She came. Love you for coming. Don't take offense to anything I'm about to say. If. If someone's listening that was there. Do not take offense. I'm never having a party again. In my. It was like there was a lot of people.
Chaos
Yeah, but you did this for your wedding too.
Karma
I know there was a difference. I feel like I'm talking a lot. Do you have anything you want to say before I get into this?
Chaos
I tried and you said that other things were a priority. So I'll just wait for you to.
Karma
You don't even remember what you're going to say look it up, though. The wedding was different because I wasn't worried about other people and, like, being.
Chaos
You felt like you had to entertain people at this baby shower versus the wedding. It was not your job to entertain.
Karma
Exactly. I felt really guilty. I missed having quality time with the people, like, and everyone there I cared about, but I missed having quality time with each of those people. And it was just. It was too much. And, like, a lot of people bailed last night. There was, like, 30 people that bailed the day before. Yeah. Which is, like, crazy to think about because there was a lot of people here. But I think I'm over the party thing. I'm over hosting. It was a lot for me to, like, not spend time with people that were there, and I felt guilty about that, and it just wasn't.
Chaos
You shouldn't feel guilty about that.
Karma
No. But I did. But it was a beautiful day. Day was beautiful. Setup was beautiful. Leah looked beautiful. Overall, it was a great party. Like, really, really great. Just don't think I'm gonna have a party again.
Chaos
I also feel the same way. Like, I feel this constant anxiety to, like, clean up after people, to entertain people, to talk to certain people longer, to talk to people. Like, it's not, in my opinion, is not a good time.
Karma
Yeah. And I've been, like, struggling a little bit lately about having lack of quality time with people. Like, I've been missing love in my life, I feel like. And I've been. I've been missing quality time with my friends, and so.
Chaos
But the baby shower was not the time for you.
Karma
It wasn't. It wasn't. And, like, Ryan. Thank God Ryan showed up late because he had work, but then ended up staying the night. And I got some of that quality time with him, and so that really made me happy. But we talked about this months ago. It happens a couple times a year where I start, like, questioning where I sit, like, in people's lives, and I'm just, like, recently going through that.
Chaos
So I'm sorry that I couldn't make it. I. The debate competition that Isaac was supposed to be at the other school forfeited.
Karma
So posted that he was going to.
Chaos
Prom, and then he went to prom, so I went to do prom pictures. And. I know, but, like, I don't want you to feel like I just, like, was one of the 30 people that bailed because.
Karma
No, no, no, I don't. I don't. I didn't feel that way at all.
Chaos
I love you guys, and I do pictures look so good. And I saw Madison went to. Madison is also part of the killer team. And Alessandra and Madison did. So did Billy go to. And Madison's boo.
Karma
Yeah.
Chaos
Oh, I wish I got to hang out with y' all.
Karma
It was fun. It was a good time. It. Weather was great. Everything worked out. It looked the house property. Everything was. Was great. Good.
Chaos
I'm glad.
Friend 1
I don't want guilty at all. I don't think anybody felt neglected in, like, any way. Everybody knew you were busy. If anything, I felt bad that you couldn't enjoy the party that I know you'd been, like, planning for months. I never saw you sit down. I never really saw Leah sit down like, you guys were running around. I kept going after Leah and your mom be like, can I help? Can I carry anything? Like, can you sit down? Can you go eat? But that's what hosting is. I also want to ask, do you think that this part of your, like, not maybe questioning it, but wondering about your friendship stuff is coming because, like, you know, things are about to change with, like, Baby Bucks coming into the picture.
Karma
I don't. I think it's because I feel my friendships changing, like, already. And I know that my life is about to get ten times crazier. Yeah. So I, like, can feel like friendship, and maybe it's just me overthinking it, but I can feel like kind of things shifting and.
Chaos
And they will continue to shift. They're, you know, like with you adding a baby to the mix. I'm not saying that people are fake or anything, but there are people that may. The friendships might, I don't know, dissolve, deteriorate. Those are not really great adjectives. Adjectives to describe it. But then also, like, as Baby Bucks gets older and you do sports or you do, you know, activities or whatever, you're going to lose touch with some people and gain new connections with, like, other parents that are involved in those, like, sports and stuff. And it's bittersweet because, like, there are people that I miss. Right. That, like, used to be a part of my life, and they're just. There's no way to fit them in outside of, like, once or twice a year. And it has to be so intentional. And that is so bittersweet because you develop really great friendships with new people. But then also, it just. It's just what it is.
Karma
Yeah. Yeah. So life's life in a little bit. But it's really great to not have baby shower weight in my mind anymore. So that's all gone. Now comes the real, like, the House. Like, getting the house prepped for baby to come. We and I did a photo shoot yesterday. Can we just take a moment?
Friend 1
We. I'm so glad. I really wanted you guys to do one.
Karma
Let's just. This and I record. These are, like, from, like, my recording. Wait. So, like.
Friend 1
Oh, I'm so glad.
Karma
Let me just.
Chaos
I was gonna say I.
Karma
These are. These are screenshots of my camera because I was, like, recording behind the scenes of it, but I cannot express this more. Leah is so attractive. It is wild. Like, we were. I was just sitting there, and my, like, obviously my eyes kept getting wet during it, but I was just sitting there just watching her. I'm like, what the. I'm like, I am so lucky. Like, this is crazy.
Chaos
Like, she's like, how lucky you are.
Friend 2
You mean?
Karma
Yeah.
Friend 2
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Karma
Yeah. So baby stuff full, full effect right now. And I also want to say before people come at me for leaving my.
Friend 2
Wife again, these pictures really good.
Friend 1
That first one I made me.
Chaos
Yeah, they're so cute.
Friend 1
They're really good. I'm glad you guys did that because I know I talked to you. I was like, you guys should do it. And you're like, I don't know if he's gonna want to, but just a moment to document. I'm really glad you did.
Chaos
Yeah, for sure.
Karma
Yes. Also, I'm Going to Mexico in a couple weeks. But Leah also is going on a bachelorette party, so I don't want to hear from anyone.
Friend 2
Can I come?
Karma
Yeah, you can.
Chaos
Okay. I looked up what I was going to tell you about for the episode, and I did not write it down, but I texted you about, like, I gave you the gist. And it was just that I had the most chaotic weekend in Dallas and that's all it was. That's what it was.
Karma
Oh, right, you went to Matt Matthews.
Chaos
Yeah, I went up on. I was his guest on stage and it was a shit show, as always, but got to see Sterling for 24 hours and that was really good. And then we got to catch up and. Yeah.
Karma
Anything else? Like, give me more. What is going on?
Chaos
Do we ever know?
Friend 1
No, I have never in the last five years of my life ever know what's going on. Never, ever.
Karma
For real. I'm so flustered right now. So, yeah, just like, in general, there's just so much going on. I do miss you a lot.
Chaos
I miss you a lot. And I want to see you in person. And I hope that we can make that happen soon.
Karma
Yeah, I'm about to. I'm gonna have a baby soon, so we're gonna have to make it sooner. Oh, I'm gonna see you, Pride.
Chaos
Yeah, I'll see you at Pride.
Karma
Speaking of pride, Pride merch is out. Casey and Lesbian.
Chaos
Lesbian Pride merch is out. I actually have some Pride stuff that came in that I need to do an unboxing with. And I would. If you guys are want Pride stuff, you will get it in time if you order now. So we'll make sure that we post the link in the description and also share to Karma and Chaos Instagram. But we're super excited about it. And I will be wearing my lesbian to Pride.
Karma
Yeah, I need to order some. Yeah. So Pride, great fun. We'll be there. I don't know if Leah's going because we're going to DC Pride the next weekend and two weekends of at 35 weeks. Pregnant. Pregnant will not be great. So that'll be good. Wow.
Chaos
I'm excited.
Friend 2
I'm excited to see you. I know it's kind of far away.
Karma
I was going to say something. This feels so overwhelming because, like, we've gone so long without talking that there's just so much to be caught up on. And I just remembered what I was going to say, son. I keep looking at myself because I started doing a skincare routine and my face feels so nice and I got botox I know.
Chaos
I love that you. When you sent me the. The pictures and stuff, I was like. I was so proud of you because, like, I can lift, and I, like, have some movement in my eyebrows, but, like, I have absolutely no lines at all. And I know that people are confused about what Botox is versus filler. Filler and Botox are not the same thing. Botox and dysport, I get dysport, not Botox are to prevent lines and wrinkles, and filler is to make things plump and big. And I don't get filler in my face. I. In a really, really, like, years and years. But, like, I don't. When I lift my eyebrows, I don't have lines. You know what I mean?
Karma
Yeah. I asked for movement still. Steph, Steph. Shout out Steph. She did a really great job because I really. It was my 11s that were bothering me.
Chaos
I didn't know. I don't know what the names are for anything, but I get it. I get 47 units of disport.
Karma
Yeah. That's all I don't want. I'm not gonna act like I know.
Chaos
Anything, but I'm rubbing off on you.
Karma
Yeah. Life just feels good. It just is crazy. Things are, like. There's so much happening, so many changes, so many good things, so many wild things, so many emotional things, so much crying. All the things, you know, exciting. Oh, I do have something to tell you.
Chaos
What?
Karma
Well, my sister came here from Florida for the baby shower.
Chaos
Yeah, she came.
Karma
It was really, like. She came a couple of days early. It was really fun. And then my mom came over, and I've known for a while, but she gave me a onesie that said promoted. What is it like, something like promoted to big cousin wild.
Chaos
So you're gonna be a Thea again?
Karma
Again.
Chaos
And baby Max is gonna have a little cousin that's literally less than a year apart, and they're gonna be little baby cousin besties.
Karma
Yes. So, big news. My sister is pregnant.
Chaos
And does she know you're announcing it on this podcast?
Karma
Yeah, unfortunately, I did tell Kale before this, so I didn't get her big.
Chaos
Reaction because I already knew, and I'm a bad liar.
Karma
She has a. Well, okay.
Chaos
You know what my tell is? Do you want me to tell everybody what my tell is? Yeah, not right this second. Like, not this exact time, but if I'm lying, I touch my eye.
Karma
Really?
Chaos
Yeah.
Karma
Interesting. I have to look.
Chaos
I'm, like, always like, h. I'm a.
Karma
Face toucher in general, but she told my mom it was really great. It's just like my sister never wanted kids. And then her and her husband, their minds changed and, and they, you know, did whatever they do to create a child.
Friend 2
But can we talk about that for a second?
Chaos
Because it's so interesting to me. Like, and one of my girlfriends and I were talking about it the other day because, you know, she's a single mom and I've been a single mom on and off. Right? And it's like when you.
Friend 2
Because I get so much shit for.
Chaos
Having all the kids, dads and like, I get it, trust me, I do. I'm more self aware than some of y' all might think. But there is something so interesting. Like, and I'm not saying this is for everyone and I do understand why people don't have kids. Like, it doesn't bother me when people say, them kids, I don't want kids. Like, that does not bother me in any way, shape or form, because I get it. But there is also something to be said about, like when you meet someone and you fall head over heels for someone and you're so in love with them that you want to procreate with this person. And it's so interesting to me. What if my friend, like, met someone and then you have to make the decision where it's like, okay, we could have kids and it would be really cool to have kids, but we can't. Like, how do you make that decision? Not realizing that you may meet somebody at some point in your life? I'm just talking about in general, like wanting to procreate with someone that you are in love with and obsessed with and want to build a life with. Like, that's crazy to me. Like, where does that come from?
Karma
I always talk to people like about, I talk about this often because I, you know, you meet people that say, oh, I don't want kids. You meet people and say that are single. Right. Which is fair. Like, there's a million things that you can life that can happen, but you're so right. Like you can meet someone and everything can change.
Friend 1
Like your outlook.
Karma
Yeah, everything can change. You just have to be open to it. Right? Like, you have to just. Like it's okay to change your mind, but it's okay either way. Like, it's okay to not want kids.
Chaos
Yeah.
Karma
Like change your mind. But like, you meet the right person and you fall in love. Anything.
Chaos
Yeah, well, and that's what I'm saying. Like, it's so interesting to me. Like, I have a cousin, we got divorced, she got married before me. But we got divorced around the same time and, you know, she ended up remarrying. And that was some. That was like a conversation that they had too, was like they would have wanted to have kids together, but they ultimately decided that it wasn't in the cards for them. Like they weren't going to go through IVF to. To have children together, but like, they're living their best lives together. And it's just so like to love someone that much that you want to procreate with them. I mean, we all know that there are people out here that don't love each other, but I mean, yeah, they procreate without loving each other. But I. I will say that I. I feel like I loved all my kids, dads. And I, like, was fine with. You know what I mean? Like, I loved them enough to procreate with them at the time and for better or for worse, have four baby daddies.
Friend 2
So.
Karma
Yeah, I. I think it's a. It's just life and love do a lot of things for you and Alex and Derek, like, didn't. They were lifed and loved for a while. But I sometimes like, life just like something changes and the next thing, like, if Leah told me she never wanted kids, that would have been fine with me. That would have been totally fine with me.
Chaos
Because you love her.
Karma
My life with Leah is going to be great regardless of children, regardless of anything. But, you know, we decided it felt right. Like, and I. We. I don't like when people say there's never a great time because I think right now is perfect for us to have kids and. But I say that all day. I never in my life imagined a world where me and my sister raised kids together. And that's got to be so cool.
Chaos
Because y' all are so close and now you get to raise kids together.
Karma
Yeah. And like, they're two months apart. They're gonna be two months apart. And like, that's crazy.
Friend 2
No, but that's so exciting because they're.
Chaos
Like little basically cousin siblings because they're so close in age.
Karma
Yeah. And so I said it would be so funny if Bex came out looking like her. Like blonde. Right. Blue eyes. And then if her. She's having a girl, if her daughter comes out looking like me. But just.
Chaos
That's so funny.
Karma
Yeah. Like, if we just swapped it. Swapped it out.
Chaos
So you get to raise baby cousins together. Do you think she'll stay in Florida or do you think that she'll move back?
Karma
I think she'll stay.
Friend 2
Damn.
Chaos
Well, that part sucks.
Karma
Yeah.
Friend 2
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Karma
There were at the shower, there were, I think, nine pregnant people.
Chaos
Oh, yeah. What's in the water that y' all be drinking in New Jersey?
Karma
Definitely not anything for you, but my.
Chaos
Tubes are gonna grow back.
Karma
It was cute though, there. It was good. I. I have a little bit of PTSD from the shower, so I'm not gonna think about it.
Friend 1
Well, feel bad that you didn't have a good time.
Karma
And I also didn't get to spend time with Leah either, but that you're.
Chaos
Being too hard on yourselves because that. The shout. I mean, I guess I. Well, that's. When I asked you a couple weeks ago, I said, like, why are you doing this yourself? Because truly someone else should have thrown it at a. So that you guys could like, chill and somebody else take care of y' all.
Karma
Yeah. Well, you live and you learn.
Chaos
And now you know. Now you know.
Karma
Bouncy house was a hit, though.
Chaos
The what? The bouncy house.
Karma
Yeah.
Chaos
I'm glad it was a hit. I'm glad it was a hit.
Karma
It was much needed. We. It was. You told me you wanted to talk about this this week. You wanted to talk about just high school and like, how hard high school is. Do you remember or no? Okay. My question to you and to everyone listening. I saw a TikTok posted about homeschooling and it was like, give me the pros and cons of being homeschooled. And the comment section made me feel like I need to homeschool my kids.
Chaos
Yeah. No, I mean, I think about that on a regular basis. If I had the capacity and the ability to do it, I would.
Karma
Yeah. And I can't do it, so I'm either gonna have to figure out something, but it was like, employer here. Homeschooled kids make the best employees.
Chaos
Like, wait because they're self starters and anticipate needs or.
Karma
Yeah, two great examples.
Chaos
I mean, that's the first thing that's top of mind.
Karma
Yeah. And then it was like people, People were just commenting, like, all of their trauma is based on, like, high school. Like a lot of their, like, big trauma. Like, like high school was just like traumatic of like, bullying and just all the. All the things.
Chaos
Yeah. I would not. Nothing. Like, I didn't get bullied in high school. I got bullied in middle school. But High school was rough for me, and I think because I moved schools in the middle of, like my high school career or whatever. And it was rough, but it was very unremarkable and had no self esteem or self confidence and really was just surviving. But I. High school is rough, and I could imagine now with the social media being the way it is, is probably even worse.
Karma
Agreed. I could not. Wouldn't be me. Couldn't be me. Will try to protect my kids as much as I can, but it's just, you can't. You can't always do it.
Chaos
Today's homeschooling situation is a lot different than what I think when we were growing up in the 90s and early 2000s. Homeschooling now looks a lot different because we're integrating homeschooling with public schools in some ways where they're like, you can be homeschooled but still be on whatever soccer team or be on. And then here there are also. I forget what they're called, but there's like, groups where essentially, like, say you and I lived in the same town. You would have your babies, come to my house for this subject co op. Yep. And then I would send all of my kids and your kids, and we'd go to Alessandra's for, like, that lesson or like that day. And so, like, there are definitely ways to integrate it so that it's not like what we know as homeschooling. I think that's why there's like a stigma and like a weird. And I'm not saying that everyone that was homeschooled in the 90s or early 2000s is weird. I'm just saying, like, I think that the stigma started sort of stemmed from that, and there. It's not like that now. Like, I know so many people that from COVID forward who have chosen to homeschool, and it just looks a lot different. But I still see those kids on sports teams and on this and on that. And so, like, to me, that makes sense. And if there was a world where I could do that, I would not, because I don't like the school systems here, because I love that there's like Spanish immersion and things like that. But there it's like. Like they put bulletproof doors in the lobby of the school when you walk in. And like, that in and of itself is scary. And then just like the bullying and the. I mean, that's not to say that you can't. That you wouldn't get bullied if you are homeschooled. Because I guess that can still happen. But I would guess that maybe it's a little bit less because you're doing the sports teams and stuff, but you're homeschooled. So you're not getting that? Like, I don't know, maybe. Maybe that's just an assumption. I don't know. Who knows?
Karma
Who knows? I have a really important question to ask you.
Friend 2
What is the question?
Karma
How many chuggas come before Choo Choo?
Chaos
3.
Karma
Say it.
Friend 2
No.
Karma
Why?
Chaos
Why don't you say it?
Karma
It is because I saw on the Internet that people think it's six or eight.
Chaos
On what planet?
Karma
I think it's four.
Chaos
No, it's absolutely not. It's like two or three and then we're. We're getting the up out of there.
Karma
No, it's four. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga choo choo.
Chaos
Absolutely not.
Karma
Leah thinks it's six. Leah Leigh, Birthday girl's coming here runs. What is she doing? Leah, what are you doing? Come. Come here.
Friend 1
She said it's my birthday and I'll do what I want to.
Karma
Why is there no urgency?
Friend 1
She's waddling.
Chaos
She's pregnant. Leave her alone.
Karma
I'm pregnant and big. It takes a little bit. Look at this belly looks.
Friend 1
Hey, girl. I know it's a.
Chaos
She's just.
Friend 1
You're just.
Chaos
Belly.
Friend 1
It's a teeny little belly. Like, I feel like you just popped.
Chaos
Little baby Becks in there.
Karma
How many chugas?
Friend 1
Six.
Chaos
No, there's not six. There's two or three.
Karma
Too many chuggas.
Chaos
Three.
Friend 1
It's at least six.
Chaos
No, it's three.
Karma
No, it's four.
Friend 1
Are you doing. Are you saying chugga chugga is one or is each.
Karma
Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.
Chaos
No, it's just one.
Friend 1
That's what you're.
Karma
That.
Chaos
So you're the same as me.
Friend 1
So you're counting chugga chuggas. You're counting chug and chugga.
Chaos
Chugga, chugga.
Karma
Let me. Let me just say. Hold on. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. No chugga, chugging. It's four. It's four. No, that's too many. Has anyone tried to YouTube it? No.
Friend 1
Listen, when I was trying to feed kids nannying, it really was only like two chuggas. Like, we don't got time for all these chugga chuggas when you're trying to feature.
Karma
Needed.
Friend 1
Then chugga, chugga, choo choo. That's probably why Becky knows that she was the youngest. Her mom was just trying to get.
Chaos
Things Going, you know, okay, just count Kale's kids. That's how many chuggas there are.
Karma
My answer. So can you believe that she's a 30 year old? Yeah, big 30.
Chaos
It's a good day to be 30.
Karma
I think it's 30 weeks.
Chaos
30 weeks on your 30th birthday. I love that. Kind of scary.
Karma
No, she's so cute. Who are you talking to?
Chaos
Nobody.
Friend 1
Becky, you have such dad energy. Like, the way you approach the camera, you're like, who are you talking to?
Chaos
Like, you ready to fight me?
Karma
She's always distracted.
Chaos
I'm not. I have adhd. No, I have adhd.
Karma
Don't blame it on that. All right, another serious question. This one's actually serious. So what do you do in a situation when you're conflicted that you like a person, but they're a really bad partner?
Chaos
That's. Wow, that's a loaded question. Because the easy answer, right, like, right off the bat is like, you can't be with them. It's like you can't love them more than essentially they love you. Because if they're a bad partner, why are you staying? Yeah, but are we talking about just like a shitty partner? We're not talking about, like, there's not abuse, there's not manipulation, there's not this, there's not that.
Karma
There could be all the things.
Chaos
Because I. At the end of the day, like, it always circles back to, if they wanted to, they would, and if they're a shitty partner, it's like, I don't know how you make that work and make yourself miserable. Because I'm back in therapy. I've been back in therapy for a couple weeks and she was basically like, and this is all over TikTok as well. When I was trying to get over one of the dads a long time ago, I kept trying to figure out, like, what. How could I do this? And the way that she said it was like, tens need to be with tens, twos need to be with twos, etc, etc, because at the end of the day, like, you could be an eight and someone else is a two and you bring them up to a four, but they're bringing you down to a six. So, like, you're still going to lower where you need to be while raising them up right? And so if you. If you're with somebody that you love so much, and I've been here before and you're a 10, for example, I'm not talking about looks, I'm talking about, like, your energy, your hard work, your all the things. So say there's no manipulation in it. Say there's no like toxicity. They're just not a good partner for you. It's sort of still the same thing. It's still the same mentality of like you're a 10, you're up here and they're two and you're sort of like lowering yourself to bring them up. It's the same thing. So like and it's easy for anyone to just say like oh, just leave them. But we all know that people sometimes are a victim of their circumstances or you know, financially speaking or whatever the case may be, you can't just get out of it. But I think at the end of the day like what it boils down to is like if they wanted to they fudgeing would and when they don't like you need to really self reflect. And I think that's another reason why I get a lot of hate is because I leave when I don't. It's not serving anymore.
Karma
Yeah.
Friend 2
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Karma
I think it's a difficult. It's funny. It's not funny. It's interesting you say that because there was also a secondary thought that I've had recently around like Wanting more, like wanting the best for the people I care about and them being with people that make themselves, like, better, right? Like, wanting to be with someone that elevates them and like, makes them become a better person. Whether it's like, in their career or just like emotionally or personally. It's just so important to just pick the right person. Like your life, picking the right partner is going to make or break your life.
Chaos
It's, it's so loaded though, because we can say that. But sometimes you don't know whether you think that it's the right person until you go through challenges and things like that and you're like, oh, wait, this is not how I want to give love and receive love and a relationship. This is not how I pictured it going. Or, you know, I've been in the circumstances where like, didn't realize who it was until I had a child with them. And so it's so easy to say. I actually had a conversation with someone the other day and he is, he's a long term friend of mine and he calls my kids, literally call him Uncle. And we were having that conversation where, you know, he's 35 and he's like ready to settle down and he wants to do this, but he literally said to me, kayl, I don't want to have kids with the wrong person. And I said, I. If anyone understands, it's me. And I understand that you're wanting to be in love and you love love and you want to do all these things, but at the end of the day, like, I would hate to see you rush into it and end up like me where you're, and obviously would never wish, like, to go back in time because I love all my children. But like, if I could save myself the heartache of the kids situation, like the dad situation and not saying I'm perfect either. So I don't want anyone to like, twist my words. But, but I said I would rather see you become a dad and fall in love closer to 40 and be truly happy and with the per. With your person than for you to rush it right now and not, you know what I mean? Because that's hard.
Karma
It is hard. And finding good people is, is hard nowadays.
Friend 1
Well, I also think that love is just not enough. And I think that we like, get really caught up in that. Where you think it's like, oh, I love this person so passionately, but like, that, that's like one of the most painful things about being human is realizing one of two things when you're in a Relationship is that love is not enough. You need to have commitment and like acceptance. There's just so many things and it takes time to find those. And that's why my advice is always to wait to get into these like super serious moments of relationships until you've really figured out how you guys are going to overcome those obstacles. Because money, like just. There's so many things that can occur in a relationship that can really fuck it up. And you don't know until you're a months in. Sometimes that. And also it's so hard to be in a relationship. It's so painful to try and love someone enough until their full potential and then just like not reach it because they're incapable. And to learn and to know when to detach from that. Because someone can be a good person, you can love them and they can love you. But if they're not doing what they need to do to reach their full potential, you can't keep pouring into them. There's not anything. You can't love someone into it. And it's heartbreaking. It is the most thing.
Chaos
Yeah.
Friend 1
And it's exhausting.
Chaos
Realize it's like to be with someone who. And I think it was my son. I was having a conversation with my son about that. Like he was saying that he could feel the energy shift and like he, he can read people pretty well. So he knows when people are happy and when people are not happy. And I told him, I said, it's. You can, you will know when you start to feel yourself being drained. If you're always asking your partner, what's wrong, what's going on? You look mad, you look pissed off. I know something's bothered. It's like draining. Yeah, draining.
Karma
Exhausting.
Chaos
Yeah.
Friend 1
So were you asking about being friends with people who are bad to their partners?
Karma
I think it's the confliction of having people that like have partners that are fun to be around. Like they're like good, they're decent friends, but like they're just not good partners. Right. Like they just like don't put in that work. They don't have that realization of just like how like toxic or like, you know, draining that they can be. But it all comes from people not taking care of themselves. Right? Like doing work, going to therapy, you know, healing the parts that we all have to heal. And some people just don't do it.
Chaos
But I wonder what that is. Like, what that, what is that? Because I do think that the people that are not good partners, they might want to love somebody and they might love that person in the relate the other person, but they just don't show it or they don't know how. And at some point it's like, you, you gotta figure it out. But also like, what is going on? What type of work do they need to do to get to a place where they can.
Karma
Do you think that people know. Like, this is a little bit off topic, but like, similar, like, do you think people know, like, miserable people? Miserable people know how draining they are.
Chaos
Not until they're out of it, until they see the other. Because I've specifically me when I'm like complaining all the time, talking, doing like just being a energy suck. Like, you posted a video where I'm like, just inside myself, like in my own head, like on my phone and pretty much the entire video. And it was like in those moments I knew that I was being an energy suck, but it was like I was just dealing with so much and looking back at certain periods of my life. I know that I. But during that time, I don't know if I knew it until I was on the other side of it.
Karma
Yeah, I just, I have people that, like, I know I have, like, I question if I'm gonna be around them, if they're gonna be in a good mood or a bad mood. And it just like affects everyone else around them. And I. Is it just naive? Like, could I be that person too? Like, or you know, like, is it. Can you recognize that? Like, is it recognizable? I don't know.
Friend 1
Yeah, I guess, like, levels to it.
Chaos
Yeah.
Friend 1
If you're a complete narcissist, you don't really care about how other people are feeling. But it takes a certain level of awareness, whether it's in hindsight or in the moment to realize, hey, like, I was having a bad time and I was being an energy suck because I felt really comfortable around these people and I let myself feel my true emotions and I kind of brought the, you know, room down. Like you were saying.
Chaos
Thank you.
Friend 1
Saying that you felt that that takes a level of self awareness that a lot of people don't.
Karma
Yeah. Possess.
Friend 1
And it's hard, it's hard work to reflect on yourself and go to therapy. That's why most people don't do it.
Chaos
Well, I'm so happy to be back in therapy. I literally, I don't even know how I was functioning without it, to be honest.
Karma
I'm happy you're back in therapy too. And I'm really happy we went from how many chugga, chugga, choo choosing into that conversation in true Karma, chaos fashion.
Chaos
True karma and chaos fashion. And I would love to know from the listeners how many y' all think there are.
Friend 2
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Karma
What else? What else is. I have a full list of so many different things.
Chaos
Come on then.
Karma
What?
Chaos
Come on then. If you got a full list, let's.
Karma
Look at high school that we talked.
Chaos
About being in love.
Karma
Oh, this has been on my list for a while and we just haven't got to it yet. And I think it's relative in nature because I did have a really good time this weekend with my nieces. My nieces all slept over on Saturday after the shower. I just want to say I feel so lucky to have a friendship with my nieces. Like they are some of like my best friends.
Chaos
No. And I love when you. It was a couple weeks ago when you texted and you were like, I'm going up to see my niece and her friends.
Friend 2
We're going to dinner.
Chaos
And I was like, like the way that I would have loved to have that sort of relationship with my mom's siblings or and even their partners is like, I would love that. And so, and it's weird because like they are. You're a lot older than your nieces, but I still would have loved it. You know what I mean? Like, my uncle commented on one of my tick tocks and I was like, this is so weird, but cool. Like, you know what I mean?
Karma
Yeah. Like you have that relationship.
Chaos
Yeah, I think. Just think that's so cool because they're like, basically your kids, but they're not. You get to give them.
Karma
Yeah, I just, I just love it. I'm very appreciative of that. I am intentional with my time with them. I'm intentional with my conversations with them. They're so excited. They just found out about Alex too. They're so excited about. They want to be called Thea. They. Because, like, that's what, like that's what I'm called. And just from the age difference. But we were talking. My favorite, when I think about Christmas, my favorite Christmases are from when they were kids. Like staying up with my sisters and, you know, writing the note from Santa or write it, like eating carrots, putting out, like, Christmas presents. And I was speaking to them about it and they're so excited for Christmas to kind of change back to having, like, little ones around and they get to experience that. And Kyla was telling me that she remembers trigger warning. Don't play this in front of your kids. Or lower it. Speaking about Santa. She was like, I remember when I found out that Santa wasn't real because I came up the steps to go to the bathroom and I found you, like, my mom and Kent and Alex, the three of us, me and my two sisters. You guys were drinking and laughing and, like, putting out presents.
Chaos
Yeah.
Karma
And she was like, it was the best possible way for me to find that out because it, like, there was just so much joy behind it.
Chaos
Don't make me cry.
Karma
My eyes are getting wet.
Chaos
You're. Yeah, your eyes are getting wet. But that's like, the sweetest thing that could have.
Karma
Yeah. And she was like, like, what better way to find out than to see, like, there was just happiness behind, like, wow was Christmas.
Chaos
Right.
Karma
So I'm just, I'm excited for them to get that experience. Like, they get to hang out with us and, like, put out gifts for the foreseeable future now too.
Chaos
Does this count as, like, a cry or. Because they didn't drip. It's not a cry.
Karma
Yeah, I don't know. We'll. We'll see. When we think about it, you could.
Chaos
Just put a half cry column.
Karma
Oh, my God. Did I send you? Did I. Speaking about cry. Oh, yeah, I sent you what? My sister gave me the book. The book.
Chaos
Show it right now.
Karma
Alessandra, did I tell you? No.
Chaos
It's in the pictures that you just sent us, though. And I knew what book it was.
Karma
My sister Alex, the one that lives in Florida, speaking about crying. I sobbed. I was. I recorded it. I need a. Stop. I saw. My sister gave me a gift. She wrote a book for Bex, and I. I'm about to start crying. It says, a gift from my grand. A gift from Granddaddy. And the book, it's, like, illustrated. Like, she illustrated it and wrote it.
Chaos
Do you have the link for other people to be able to do one? Like, do you know how she did it so that people can do it? Or is it, like, she literally did it herself?
Karma
Used a. She used, like, chat. TBT to, like, do the images. Do the, like, everything on it.
Chaos
Okay. That is so sweet. So cute.
Karma
Yeah.
Friend 1
Wait, the way that looks exactly like Larry.
Chaos
It looks like Larry. Becky.
Friend 1
I know.
Chaos
So.
Friend 1
Becky, I swear I'm gonna get my period next week. I'm gonna freaking start solving. Not him whispering to the angel baby.
Karma
And then she put.
Chaos
Stop.
Friend 1
You guys better subscribe to Patreon so you can see the visuals.
Karma
Yeah. Crazy.
Chaos
That is so sweet.
Karma
The sweetest. I was. And Leah was. Leah doesn't cry that much. And she was crying, too, so Becky's.
Chaos
Always crying and Leah never cries.
Karma
Yeah. I actually. Yeah. So that really got me. But, yeah, nieces, they're just the best. Like, what? Like, I can't wait. Because Piper and Isaac are the same age and they'll see each other.
Chaos
I think they're gonna get along really well. It's so interesting because I'm sure they've been around each other before. They just don't remember each other.
Karma
Yeah.
Chaos
And so, like, they truly have known each other for a long, long, long time, but they don't know each other.
Karma
Yeah. I think. I wonder if they'll, like, a friendship will come from it.
Chaos
I hope so. I. I think it will. I have a good feeling about it.
Karma
I. Yeah, that'll be fun. I have one final topic I just want to bring up on this because it's festival season. Like, Coachella festival season, and all the things. Why are people so gung ho about, like, being like, oh, my God, that celebrity was on drugs at a festival? Like, yeah, no, everyone's on drugs at festivals. Why do people give so much attention, like, as if they're not people too?
Chaos
Well, what about. Why are people not realizing that people are on drugs every single day? You know what I mean? Like, like true.
Karma
Yeah. Like it's like, why is it like.
Chaos
You might be on. Might be Truman. We don't know.
Karma
Person might be me. I just got so overwhelmingly hungry. Can you. Come on, give it. Give us the karma and chaos. Is it Carmine cast.
Friend 2
Okay, I got you. Is it karma? Is it chaos?
Chaos
Wow, it's. It's a long one. So buckle up, everybody. Hey guys, thank you so much for just being so real open and honest with your lives. On the podcast when y' all were trying to name a candle, no lie was thinking name it lesbian. It's kind of cute. So my. Is it karma or is it chaos? I've been with my husband now for two years. We have three kids, one together and two from previous marriages. I love my husband so much, but things for us have not been easy by any means. My husband and I were harassed by a girl that he talked to for about a week. We have a gut feeling his ex wife paid her to do it, but that's neither here nor there, just a gut feeling. We also have a really difficult co parenting relationship with my husband's ex wife. My son, on the other hand, is.
Friend 2
Causing a ton of issues between my.
Chaos
Husband and I lately. As far as his behavior, he still has potty accidents and he sometimes treats him differently than his kid, which I am very vocal about. For reference, our kids are only two years apart. I don't know if it's just his age being 6 or if my husband just wasn't prepared to be a step parent, which by the way, who ever really is. It comes with a lot of unexpected challenges and I. But I could be wrong. I was a step parent in my last marriage, so I understand how hard it is. A little bit of backstory. In my last marriage, we were only together for a total of maybe three years. I was over the marriage, wasn't treated right. I did everything. Not only for him, the household, inside and outside work, both kids, and one of them being a step kid, all he had to do was come home and play video games.
Friend 2
I say all that to say while.
Chaos
I had already stated to him I was done and wanted a divorce, I ended up cheating.
Friend 2
Is that wrong?
Chaos
Technically I wasn't divorced yet, but I had said I was done, wanted a divorce and was making moves to get out of the marriage. So is the hardships happening in my current marriage karma or is it just chaos? Thanks for the input, ladies. That one's difficult because I also did the same thing. So I filed for divorce and then I was with somebody else. So it's hard to say. I think that this is a situation where it's not black or white and.
Friend 2
It'S not karma and it's not chaos.
Chaos
It might be a little mix of both.
Karma
I think it's a little bit of both.
Chaos
And I, in hindsight, can see why jumping from one relationship into the next is not great. However, Becky and I both have done it, so don't sit here and blink at me. Also done it. And I'm calling you out because we've both done it and every time, you've done it every single time. So, like, to me, I do think that that's just how some people are. Like, some people are truly relationship people or there are people who don't know how to be alone. And sometimes it's also not black and white, and sometimes people just fall into your lap and things happen. But this could be a little bit of both because if you're not completely healed from that three year relationship and you're jumping into the next one and I'm gonna eat my own words here.
Karma
You know, Are you talking in a mirror right now?
Chaos
I'm literally listening to myself. Yeah. And. But I like, you don't know until you know. And that's the hardest part is, like, it feels right at the time and you want to trust your gut and you want to trust, like, what's going on. And until you put yourself through it, you really won't know.
Karma
Preach. I think it's karma and Cass, it depends. I mean, it's situated. Like, I think there's probably a little bit more details, like, needed. You know, did everyone in play think the relationship was over? Did you know what kind of conversations happen? But I think that there's always a little bit of karma that comes from, like, past relationships into. Into future relationships. Right. Like, I think that's just life.
Chaos
And I agree. I don't. It sucks, but that's just the way it goes. And I mean, unfortunately, this is a situation where, you know, some of this is a little bit of karma. But you, like I said, you couldn't have known until you went through it. So, yeah, you live and you learn.
Karma
You live and you learn. And that's it, folks. That's a wrap.
Chaos
Becky can't wait to get off this recording.
Karma
No, that's not it at all. I wish that we were doing more. Honestly. I do miss you.
Chaos
I do miss you as well. And I miss my kids and they miss you.
Karma
Yeah. So maybe you can come visit.
Chaos
Yeah, I would love that.
Karma
With the kids.
Chaos
Yes, they would also love that because if Crittercrat Romelo Creed Lowry Lopez asks me one more time, when are we.
Friend 2
Going to Becky's house?
Chaos
I'm going to put him in an Uber and send him to you.
Karma
He can come stay as long as you want. Pool opens next week, so make it after next week. Sounds good. Well, thanks everyone for listening. Kayl, tell them where they can find you.
Chaos
You can find me all over the Internet. You can find me in the nearest mental facility taking a grippy sop vacation. All right, where can they find you?
Karma
Rebecca Hayter Hayter25 on all platforms Becky Hater.com make make sure you listen to for the haters and support and merch. Merch is out.
Chaos
Get your money dot com. Go get it. Go. Subscribe to for the haters on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast and we'll see you next week.
Karma
Love you.
Chaos
See ya.
Stassi Schroeder
I'm Stassi Schroeder and honestly, you never know who or what you might hear on my podcast Stassi because, well, I'm a little cray cray. One of the ways you know you have hashtag grown is when you come to the realization that Carrie Bradshaw is.
Audible Advertiser
Kind of the worst person.
Stassi Schroeder
I've had to explain to her that the fireplace grows so that Santa can fit in it. Now she's going to be like, well, there is no fireplace and we're in this hotel and I'm going to have to explain her.
Karma
I don't know.
Stassi Schroeder
He gets a hotel room key. Like all these things that you have to come up with, it's just kind of crazy. Should I bring a whistle to wherever I go?
Chaos
Do you think that that would be the thing to break the ice?
Friend 2
Whistle?
Friend 1
Listen up.
Stassi Schroeder
Every single one of us here is feeling some level of social anxiety, so let's just get on with it, okay? Take a breath.
Karma
Relax.
Stassi Schroeder
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Karma
I'm a lawyer like the old TV.
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Podcast Summary: Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter
Episode: Two Chuggas Is Not Enough
Release Date: May 13, 2025
Overview
In this engaging episode of Karma & Chaos, hosts Kail Lowry (Karma) and Becky Hayter (Chaos) delve into a myriad of personal and relatable topics that resonate with listeners navigating their 30s. From celebrating milestones like Season 3 launches and birthdays to introspective discussions about friendships, parenting, and relationships, Kail and Becky offer a heartfelt and humorous take on modern adulthood.
[03:03] Karma: Kail kicks off the episode by announcing the eagerly awaited Season 3 launch, expressing immense excitement about the new stories and inviting listeners to share their feedback.
[03:17] Chaos: Becky adds her enthusiasm, highlighting the incorporation of sound effects and the collaborative spirit between the hosts.
[03:25] Karma: Kail shares heartwarming details about Leah’s birthday celebration, including surprise flowers and heartfelt moments at the diner with friends.
[04:11] Karma: She also commemorates Mike’s death anniversary, reflecting on reconnecting with old friends like Dan, which adds a layer of emotional depth to the episode.
Notable Quote:
Karma: "Today comes a lot of things happening today—launch day, Leah's birthday, Mike's day... it feels a little bit more meaningful this year."
Timestamp: [04:11]
[05:10] Karma: Kail candidly discusses her feelings about hosting baby showers, expressing guilt over not being able to spend quality time with all attendees despite the beautiful setup.
[06:45] Chaos: Becky empathizes, sharing her own anxiety about cleaning up after guests and the pressure to entertain.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "I also feel the same way. I feel this constant anxiety to clean up after people, to entertain people... it's not a good time."
Timestamp: [06:45]
[07:15] Chaos: Becky emphasizes that the baby shower wasn't the right setting for Kail's emotional needs, highlighting the importance of prioritizing personal well-being over hosting duties.
[09:05] Friend 1: A listener, Alessandra, joins the conversation to offer support, noting that no one felt neglected during the baby shower and praising Kail's hosting efforts.
[09:25] Chaos: Becky discusses how parenthood inevitably changes friendships, leading to the loss of some connections while forming new ones with fellow parents.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "As Baby Bucks gets older and you do sports or activities, you're going to lose touch with some people and gain new connections with other parents."
Timestamp: [09:25]
[10:40] Karma: Kail shares joyful moments from a recent photo shoot with Leah, expressing deep appreciation for her partner and the impending arrival of their baby.
[17:10] Chaos: Becky congratulates Kail on the new addition to her family, reflecting on the blessings of having close-knit family relationships.
Notable Quote:
Karma: "Leah looks beautiful. Overall, it was a great party. Just don't think I'm gonna have a party again."
Timestamp: [06:28]
[33:34] Chaos: Becky tackles a complex listener question about being conflicted when you like someone who is a bad partner. She discusses the importance of self-awareness and recognizing when a relationship isn't serving one's well-being.
[35:35] Karma: Kail agrees, emphasizing that love alone isn't always sufficient for a healthy relationship and highlighting the necessity of commitment and mutual growth.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "If you're with somebody that you love so much... you could end up lowering yourself to bring them up."
Timestamp: [33:56]
[26:33] Karma: Kail introduces a topic sparked by a TikTok video discussing the pros and cons of homeschooling, sharing her own thoughts on the matter.
[27:05] Chaos: Becky elaborates on the evolving landscape of homeschooling, noting how it now often integrates with public schooling through co-ops and specialized programs.
[28:15] Karma: Both hosts agree that while homeschooling offers flexibility and can mitigate issues like bullying, it also presents its own set of challenges.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "Today's homeschooling situation is a lot different... it's integrating homeschooling with public schools in some ways."
Timestamp: [27:22]
[37:05] Chaos: In a brief interlude, both hosts discuss their mental health journeys, highlighting the importance of therapy and self-reflection in maintaining healthy relationships.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "I'm so happy to be back in therapy. I literally don't know how I was functioning without it."
Timestamp: [43:55]
[51:22] Karma: Kail touches on the topic of festivals like Coachella and society's obsession with celebrity drug use, questioning why such behavior attracts excessive attention.
[51:47] Chaos: Becky counters by normalizing drug use, suggesting that it's pervasive and not exclusive to celebrities.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "Every single one of us here is feeling some level of social anxiety, so let's just get on with it."
Timestamp: [58:28]
[30:11] Karma: The hosts engage in a playful segment discussing the number of "chuggas" before "choo choo," showcasing their chemistry and humorous rapport.
[32:17] Friend 1: A listener, referred to as Friend 1, joins in to add to the fun, making the conversation lively and interactive.
Notable Quote:
Karma: "How many chuggas come before Choo Choo?"
Timestamp: [30:11]
[46:15] Karma: Kail reminisces about cherished Christmas memories with her nieces, highlighting the joy of family traditions and the excitement of sharing these experiences with the next generation.
[48:22] Chaos: Becky reflects on the emotional impact of these moments, appreciating the genuine happiness they bring to both Kail and her nieces.
Notable Quote:
Karma: "I can't wait because Piper and Isaac are the same age and they'll see each other."
Timestamp: [46:46]
As the episode wraps up, Kail and Becky express their mutual appreciation and the desire to reconnect in person. They invite listeners to follow their journeys on various platforms and tease upcoming content, maintaining a warm and inviting tone.
Notable Quote:
Chaos: "We hope to see you at Pride and can't wait to catch up in real life soon."
Timestamp: [15:26]
Conclusion
This episode of Karma & Chaos weaves together personal anecdotes, heartfelt reflections, and thoughtful discussions on relationships and parenting. Kail and Becky's authentic conversations provide listeners with both laughter and introspection, encapsulating the unpredictable blend of karma and chaos that defines modern adulthood.
Where to Listen
Find Karma & Chaos with Kail Lowry & Becky Hayter on PodcastOne, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other major podcast platforms. Subscribe and leave a review to support the hosts!