Beauty Queen & Powerhouse Entrepreneur Saving Lives

Summary

Podcast Summary: Kat on the Loose

Episode: Beauty Queen & Powerhouse Entrepreneur Saving Lives

Date: August 27, 2025
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Zara Jamilan, Co-founder of West Valley Detox Treatment Centers, 2019 Ms. California Globe & Ms. Armenian Globe

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Overview

In this raw and empowering episode, Kat Zammuto sits down with Zara Jamilan—a former beauty queen, multilingual entrepreneur, and co-founder of prominent California detox centers. Both women share their parallel journeys of surviving and leaving abusive marriages to alcoholics, rebuilding their lives, and transforming trauma into purpose. The conversation covers the intricacies of abusive relationships, breaking social taboos around addiction and domestic violence, and practical advice for women seeking a fresh start. Zara details her journey from family construction business to running rehabilitation centers, alongside insights into dating, self-worth, and women's empowerment.

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Major Topics and Insights

1. How Kat and Zara Met & Immediate Bonding

• Timestamps: [02:55]–[06:06]
• The hosts recount their first meeting through a private members’ group, instantly feeling a kinship due to shared backgrounds and similar experiences with difficult relationships.
• Key Moment: Both had ex-partners who didn’t deserve access to their circles.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Kat: “I am never going to try to elevate men ever again.” [03:56]
  • Zara: “I hate that expression, ‘I’m looking for my other half.’ I am a whole.” [05:27]

2. Redefining Relationships and Women’s Self-Worth

• Timestamps: [03:56]–[07:29]
• Reflections on the mistake of making men into “projects” and the importance of meeting someone already whole and self-sufficient.
• The pair challenge outdated views on relationships and assert the need for independence, not co-dependency.
• Notable Quote:
  • Zara: “We don’t have time to raise somebody else’s children.” [04:37]

3. Experiences in Abusive Marriages & Leaving Wealth Behind

• Timestamps: [07:32]–[12:34]
• Candid sharing of the escalation from happy marriages to severe addiction, cheating, and abusive behavior—physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
• Both struggled with societal/family expectations and the isolation that comes from living a “princess life” that feels hollow and unsafe.
• Quotes:
  • Zara: “I never spoke about it to my family. But when things became abusive and violent, I was scared for myself.” [10:10]
  • Kat: “My parents one time saw him kick me... They didn’t know what to do.” [11:05]

4. Deciding to Leave & Starting Over

• Timestamps: [12:34]–[14:34]
• Both women discuss their turning points—valuing peace over luxury, and refusing to stay for comfort or appearances.
• Zara notes her privilege in having skills and education that made leaving possible, acknowledging not all women have that support—a nuanced and empathetic stance.
• Quote:
  • Zara: “For me, peace of mind, like going to sleep at night in peace, it’s priceless.” [13:59]

5. Path to Healing & New Purpose

• Timestamps: [14:34]–[16:57]
• Both admit to experiencing trauma, avoidance of dating, and even falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms before healing.
• Emphasis on the journey towards rediscovering self, hope, and the realization that “there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.”
• Quote:
  • Zara: “One day, I’m like, what am I doing? I’m not made for this couch. I have bigger things in life.” [15:19]

6. From Beauty Pageants to Running Recovery Centers

• Timestamps: [16:57]–[18:26]
• After her divorce, Zara leaves the family construction business. Crowned Ms. California Globe, she leverages pageantry not for vanity, but for visibility and advocacy—particularly for the Women in Need Foundation.
• Inspired by meeting women overcoming abuse and addiction, and triggered by personal family loss to overdose, Zara starts her own rehab centers in LA, with deep family support.
• Quote:
  • Zara: “Money is not the end of all means.” [17:14]

7. The Realities and Rules of Addiction and Recovery

• Timestamps: [18:43]–[25:18]
• Both women discuss how addiction is a disease that devastates families as much as individuals, the concept of “functional alcoholics,” and the critical need for self-driven change.
• Zara shares experience helping not only those with addiction but also high-functioning professionals, and underscores the necessity of personal willingness to seek help.
• Quotes:
  • Kat: “The person needs to decide that they want to change.” [19:13]
  • Zara: “They only will do it if they love themselves... you have to fix it from inside.” [19:32], [19:45]

8. Recognizing Problem Drinking & Setting Boundaries

• Timestamps: [21:48]–[26:04]
• Addressing shame, denial, and the need to normalize seeking help, especially for high-functioning individuals.
• Zara and Kat share their own rules (only drink to celebrate, never when stressed) and strategies to fight peer pressure.
• Quote:
  • Zara: “If you need a drink to overcome an obstacle, then you definitely have a problem.” [25:10]

9. Impact of Family History, Grief, and Personal Growth

• Timestamps: [27:09]–[28:47]
• Kat shares the legacy of alcoholism in her family—her mother’s hidden drinking and tragic death—and how normalization of dysfunction influenced her own choices.
• The conversation is deeply open and vulnerable about trauma, growth, and not letting pain define the future.
• Quote:
  • Kat: “I grew up around major alcoholic behavior, to the point that I didn’t even know it was alcohol abuse.” [27:47]

10. Giving Back Through Personal Involvement

• Timestamps: [29:45]–[30:47]
• Zara emphasizes her hands-on commitment, remembering clients by name and face; emotional investment in their recovery stories.
• Both agree that the emotional toll is high, and that dating partners with similar destructive habits is now a clear deal breaker.

11. Dating After Trauma: Lessons, Non-Negotiables & LA Scene

• Timestamps: [31:06]–[43:24]
• Both gained strong clarity on boundaries—no more partners with substance abuse, late-night party culture, or disrespect.
• They discuss modern dating challenges in LA, the effect of social media, abundance mentality among men, and why quality > quantity matters.
• Quotes:
  • Zara: “With social media and women being so readily available and so desperate, I feel like men don’t make the effort like they used to.” [38:46]
  • Kat: “It’s the energy you put out there.” [40:44]

12. Self-Respect, Female Friendships, & Social Etiquette

• Timestamps: [33:45]–[36:28]
• After struggling with lateness and disrespect among friends and dates, both women assert the importance of being punctual and considerate, reflecting maturity.
• Quotes:
  • Kat: “Time is our most precious asset.” [35:26]
  • Zara: “I don’t want to be stood up and wait.” [34:26]

13. Empowerment in Singleness & Selectivity in Relationships

• Timestamps: [42:01]–[45:15]
• Both celebrate their single status, focus on personal fulfillment, and approve of only sharing their life and circle with truly deserving partners.
• Kat: “It was such an honor meeting you. You’re super brilliant, intelligent. Congratulations on your work.” [45:37]

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Memorable Quotes & Key Moments

• On raising/building up men:
  "I am never going to try to elevate men ever again." — Kat [03:56]

• On self-sufficiency:
  “I hate that expression, ‘I’m looking for my other half.’ I am a whole.” — Zara [05:27]

• On leaving for peace:
  “Peace of mind, like going to sleep at night in peace, it’s priceless.” — Zara [13:59]

• On addiction and help:
  “They only will do it if they love themselves. So you have to involve therapy... fix it from inside.” — Zara [19:32, 19:45]
  “If you need a drink to overcome an obstacle, then you definitely have a problem.” — Zara [25:10]

• On friendship and time:
  “Time is our most precious asset.” — Kat [35:26]
  “I don’t want to be stood up and wait.” — Zara [34:26]

• On moving forward:
  “It’s a privilege to go to such a high end event with you.” — Kat [45:15]

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Practical Advice & Takeaways

• Don’t tie your self-worth to fixing or elevating others; focus on mutual growth.
• True empowerment means being whole on your own—partners should complement, not complete, you.
• If peace of mind requires leaving material comfort, take the leap; your autonomy is invaluable.
• Trauma survivors heal at their own pace; seeking support and speaking out can save others.
• Substance use becomes problematic the moment it’s needed to cope. If you (or someone you know) needs help, be proactive—admission is the first and hardest step.
• Celebrate, don’t medicate, your milestones; be aware of slipping into functional alcoholism.
• Prioritize friends and partners who respect your time and values.
• Don’t rush to include new partners in your inner circle; they must earn trust and access.
• In dating, be clear on boundaries surrounding substance use; discuss upfront.
• There's no shame in being single, selective, or starting over—your story might empower someone else.

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Resources & Follow-Up

• West Valley Detox Treatment Centers (Zara’s clinics) are open 24/7 for calls and support; links provided in the episode’s description and show notes.
• Kat and Zara encourage listeners struggling with abusive relationships or addiction to reach out—help is available and no one should accept less than a peaceful, empowered life.

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This episode is a candid celebration of survival, self-value, and using one’s voice and platform to help others break cycles and build new beginnings. Heartfelt, deeply relatable, and filled with tangible wisdom, it’s essential listening for anyone on the journey of healing and empowerment.

Transcript

[Cat]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Zara Jamilan]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

[Cat]

He's talking to you britches. I'm not. Of course he did. Right? Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right? Mrs. Claus hi Mrs. Claude Claus, much younger sister. And AT T Mobile there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone.

[Zara Jamilan]

Or give it as a gift.

[Cat]

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[Zara Jamilan]

And $35 vice connection charge credits and.

[Cat]

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[Zara Jamilan]

Cancel financing agreement. 256 gigs $830 eligible for it in a new line.

[Cat]

$100 plus a month plan with auto fees required.

[Zara Jamilan]

Check out 15 minutes or less per line.

[Cat]

Visit t mobile.com my guest today, Zara Jamilan is the co founder of the West Valley Detox Treatment Centers, premier substance abuse and dual diagnosis rehabs in California. Zara and I met through mutual friends and I was shocked at how similar our stories were and we bonded right away so I wanted to have her on the show. She was also married to an alcoholic. She also got out of this horrible complicated relationship and decided to start her life over. And her work helping people beat addiction is absolutely incredible. Zara is insanely talent. She has lived in several different countries. She speaks four languages. She was the 2019 Ms. California Globe and Ms. Armenian Globe. She is gorgeous, adorable, super intelligent and incredibly inspiring. I hope you guys enjoy my conversation with the beautiful Zara. I was so honored to have her. If you guys are anything like me and most people, you love a great night's sleep. So I invite you to check out sleeping dove.com sleeping dove is a revolutionary luxury comforter with patent pending windows. No gadgets, no tech, no wires, nothing crazy like that because you who wants that around our bed, right? We just want to sleep in peace. Everything is 100 organic with insanely luxurious materials. Basically if you're feeling too hot you open your window and if you're feeling too cold, you close your window. So no more sleeping divorce. No more arguing about the bed temperature at night. Everybody can sleep peaceful at the desired temperature with the fabulous Sleeping Dove. Check it out on sleeping dove.com and on Instagram you guys can see tons of fabulous videos. Sleeping Dove home. Zara, welcome to get on the Loose.

[Zara Jamilan]

Hi. Thank you.

[Cat]

I'm so excited to have you here.

[Zara Jamilan]

So am I. I love your energy.

[Cat]

I love your energy. Let's tell people how we connected because that's kind of like a cool. A lot of tea that I want.

[Zara Jamilan]

Spill here today with you gossip.

[Cat]

Let's feel the tea we met through at this, this group.

[Zara Jamilan]

Amazing.

[Cat]

Through mutual friends. Right. This members only group. And I immediately I saw you and your other friend and I'm like, oh my God. I want to know who these chicks are because they're so gorgeous, they're so fun. I want to be friends with them.

[Zara Jamilan]

They're so good.

[Cat]

We started talking and coincidentally you know my ex boyfriend. Cuz unfortunately for me, I included him in this group.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes. That was a mistake.

[Cat]

That was a mistake. But that, that's the, that's where I want to start. The day I met you, I was saying that guy was my ex boyfriend. I can't believe I introduced him to this group because he's such a douche. He didn't deserve it. You said something very profound to me and that really stuck in my head and I'm like, wow, I really like her. You were like, you know, this is one thing that you learned. You were like, I am never going to try to elevate men ever again.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes.

[Cat]

And that really stuck because that's exactly what I did. Like you meet a dude like in my ex boyfriend's case, he wasn't happy. He didn't have any friends. And I'm like, I'm gonna fix his life. I'm gonna introduce him to this group. I'm gonna make everything better. And it was so profound that you said that.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know what? I feel like you're trying to do that to improve them and make them on your level. That way you match better but they end up resenting you for that.

[Cat]

Right.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, and then it doesn't work.

[Cat]

It doesn't. I think making a, a project out of a guy is a bad idea.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, maybe when we were younger, like when you're 18 and it's fun and exciting, but I think at this age when we're like established, successful women.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

Who has time to train like we can have our own Kids and raise our own children. Like we don't have time to raise somebody else's children.

[Cat]

Exactly. And I kept thinking about that, like the next guy I meet, like, I'm not saying, of course nobody's perfect, but have your shit together, right? You should have your own friends, your own interests, your own social life, at least at the very beginning. I don't want to get a guy that doesn't have, okay, he had money, great. But that's like, important because we make our own money, right? But I think they have to have their own interests. I don't want to ever make that mistake again. And I hope girls out there listening the same thing. Like, we should not be dating someone that we have to fix their lives for them.

[Zara Jamilan]

They should have their own personality, their own interests. Like, I always, you know when women say, I'm looking for my other half? Like, I hate that expression.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. Same.

[Zara Jamilan]

I hate that I am a whole. I'm not looking for a half because I'm a hole. It's gonna be too much. So two holes together could be a very nice combination. And we can, like, take time off from each other, miss each other, you know, I don't like to be attached to the hip. I like my independence.

[Cat]

Still love that.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, we can still love each other and spend quality time, but he has to have his own life.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. I love that you're saying that because I agree. I think I want to find some. I want to be in a relationship. I don't need to be in a relationship. But you just nailed it. I'm not looking for somebody to complete anything for me. I'm comfortable.

[Zara Jamilan]

Like, you don't need holes.

[Cat]

I hope girls out there are listening on that note, because you mentioned you are and we're going to talk about your work and everything because that's super important. That's another point that really connected us. But you're very successful. You're gorgeous. Guys. If you listen to the the audio episode, please go watch the the video episode on Cat on the loose show on YouTube. But. And, and you have very strong personality. You're world traveled, you speak a million languages. You have a lot going on. Do you think most men are intimidated when it comes to dating women like that or you think that's a myth?

[Zara Jamilan]

They are, but the ones I want aren't. So I want the super alpha males that I'm attracted to. I'm turned on by that. That's what excites me. So those the ones I won't like Me. And they love it. And when I look at you, I know you are better than me in something that turns me on. And I could be my soft, feminine. Like, men can make me feel like that. It just takes one right guy. And I felt like that before. You know, it's not like I've never met anybody like that.

[Cat]

I completely agree. And the ones that are intimidated, and I always say that we don't want to date them anyways, right?

[Zara Jamilan]

So it's fine. They're, like, out of our dating pool. That's easier.

[Cat]

I think every girl deserves a guy that. Whatever it is that you do, whether it's you make a lot of money or you're super powerful, you're super beautiful. You don't want to date a guy that feels like, minimized by that.

[Zara Jamilan]

No, I don't want to diminish anybody's status.

[Cat]

Yeah, same. I love that. Coincidentally, when we met, their fabulous happy hour, the Paul Lounge, you mentioned to me you were also married to an alcoholic.

[Zara Jamilan]

When I married him, he wasn't one. He became one. He was a very nice, a very civil, normal man. I was super young. I got married to somebody a little bit older, like 10 years older than me was fine, I think. And I thought he was mature, had his shit together, you know. And then he wasn't wealthy. I didn't go for the money. I went for love. And when he did become super successful, that's when the drugs came, the alcohol, the partying.

[Cat]

So he wasn't just drinking. He was drinking and doing drugs.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, like the party drugs and then the gambling and the hookers in Vegas, like the whole.

[Cat]

He was like, cheating on you?

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. So it was like. Yeah, because my husband saying, I didn't marry for. Everybody thinks I married for money because he was very wealthy. But I made my own money, okay? I had my own going on. But the more money he made, the more he drank. Same thing. But he didn't do drugs. But he did become an alcoholic. But I don't know if I don't think he cheated on me, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm like, if I found out that he did. But so in your. In your story, because I want to talk about your business, because I think it's super important you got out of the marriage. How long were you married?

[Zara Jamilan]

Six years.

[Cat]

Six years less than me, luckily.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah, but, you know, I saw it earlier on, like, three years before that. I was ready. I filed for divorce. He just wouldn't give me the divorce. He was trying to convince me to stay. The promises of him changing and stopping and all that, like, you know, you're a woman. And my dream as a girl was to get married and have a family. So I was just so disappointed. And I wanted to make sure it works. I didn't want to be a quitter, you know, I was trying to please the society, please the family, please my culture, you know, so many things I wanted to satisfy where like, I was left kind of to decide. Unhappy.

[Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Zara Jamilan]

Same.

[Cat]

I think, at least for me. I don't know if the same happened to you when you're in a marriage. Because my husband was wealthy and we had all this beautiful lifestyle, the homes, the trips, the planes, la la la. The few times that I would try to say something like to my mom or to a friend, like, you know, I'm not happy. This guy's cr. People wouldn't believe me. They'd be like, oh, you have this princess life. What's wrong with you? Why are you going to get out of that?

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. Because it looks so beautiful optics from outside. But they don't know how your heart feels. Exactly. It's not about money. Money is great. Yeah. It gives you comfort. It's a tool. But if you are empty inside, no money can fix that.

[Cat]

I know. And if the guy's like drinking and partying and everything and abusive. And abusive.

[Zara Jamilan]

That's when I had to, like. I never complained about the relationship, I never spoke about it to my family. But when things became like a little bit abusive and violent from his side, that's when I was scared for myself. And that's when I told my parents. And, you know, they were wonderful. They were so much better than I could have ever expected. I thought they were gonna, you know, make me to work on it, to stay because they are conservative, they're old fashioned, you know, their parents. But they were, you know, my dad was like, you have one life. This is not practice. This is your last life on this earth and I want you to be happy.

[Cat]

I love that.

[Zara Jamilan]

This is. I can't believe he said that.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. That's very.

[Zara Jamilan]

I get goosebumps when I know.

[Cat]

And it's. And it's something that I never mentioned. I don't think I ever mentioned that before in public, but same. My. My husband was very abusive. Very abusive. And actually my parents one time saw him kick me.

[Zara Jamilan]

Oh, wow.

[Cat]

We were walking on the street in Las Vegas and of course he was drunk and me and my mom, we were. We were walking a Few steps. And he was behind with my stepdad, and I think he thought we were walking too fast or something. And he went like, hey. And he kicked me really hard on my leg. And my parents didn't say anything because at the time, obviously it was a mistake, right? They should have said, hey, what the fuck? But I think they were so intimidated, like, let's not rock the boat, because, you know, they didn't know what to do. Years later, like, when my mom was almost, like, she was so much older, just before she passed away, she said she apologized to me because she was like, I know. She was like, I should have said something, but I didn't know how to act. And you're married to this guy and he's giving all this. Fine. Yeah. But they, believe it or not, even they didn't want to rock the ball.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, parents don't want to get involved. That's your relationship. That's your marriage. In my culture, once you're married, that's your man. He's the one who's supposed to take care of you.

[Cat]

Same. Like, yeah, you get married, then you're.

[Zara Jamilan]

Supposed to be married forever. Yeah. But when it's your child and they see, like, I was not never home. I had a nice house, I had the nice cars, but I was always at my parents sitting on their couch, depressed. And my dad, one day, he was like, why are you always here? Don't you have a home? Why don't you go to your man? And I said, my man is not home. I'm alone in a big house and I'm scared. You know, it's just, oh, this conversation is ringing.

[Cat]

I can't. Because we have such similar stories. How did you get. Because I know so many women out there. You'll be shocked, Zara, Because I do this show, we have audiences in 57, 58. I get messages every day from women like, how do I get out? How do I start over? How do I do this? What was it that gave you the strength to say, you know what? I deserve better. I'm out of here.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, it's such a hard thing to advise another woman. It would be so wrong of me because I don't know their situations. I don't know their ability. I don't know their. I mean, I was very blessed. I had the education. I was like, okay, if I don't live in this house, he wouldn't let me work. When we were married, I was like, you know what? If I don't. If I get out, I will make money because I have degrees, I know languages. I had skills. You know, a lot of women don't have all that. So I was like, okay, I will live in a small apartment. I will not have the luxuries, but I will be free and I will be happy. So for me, that was way more valuable than the fancy things. A lot of women don't have that background, so I cannot advise them. I cannot say, like, hey, girl, get on the street.

[Cat]

But in your case, you were kind of like me. You were not afraid, you know, you could start over. I was the same. I was like, I can start over.

[Zara Jamilan]

I didn't care if I was going to be on the street. That's how bad it was. And I was like, you know what? It's okay. I'll be on the street. But I will. If it's my money, I will know how I want to spend it. I will be, like, the head of my household, and I will make the decision.

[Cat]

You're like, I'm going to have peace of mind and stop being abused.

[Zara Jamilan]

Oh, my God. For me, peace of mind, like, going to sleep at night in peace. It's priceless.

[Cat]

Yes.

[Zara Jamilan]

It's like, priceless.

[Cat]

I always say that.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, it sounds so. A lot of girls probably looking or listening right now are going to be like, yeah, it's easier said than done. Because it's really. It's.

[Cat]

It's not easy. I agree. It's not easy. Like, same in my case. I literally had to start over from zero. Zero. Like, I was penniless. I'm not gonna say it's easy, but the price of having a good night's sleep and knowing nobody's gonna kick you or call you names. I wake you up in the middle of the night.

[Zara Jamilan]

It's.

[Cat]

I mean, it's worth. It's worth it.

[Zara Jamilan]

I mean, yeah. Right now. And I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit traumatized from that experience. I didn't want to date. I didn't want to meet men. I didn't like men. It took me time to heal. Actually, right after I got divorced, I met an amazing individual who changed my opinion about men. So it was very unexpected how things happened, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Always. So, of course, suicidal thoughts, of course, alcoholic ideations. Yes. I was drinking a lot when I was getting divorced. That process was very stressful. And one day, I'm like, what am I doing? I'm not made for this couch. I have, like, bigger things, you know, in life. I Have to still accomplish. I'm not gonna do that to myself.

[Cat]

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[Zara Jamilan]

So yeah, I got out of my marriage. I joined my family business. I was in construction, I was running my family construction business, which was amazing in terms of financially. I was making good money, I was happy, I was enjoying life. But it wasn't my passion. It was never my dream. So when I became spokesperson for Women in Need foundation for domestically abused women, I was helping raise money. The crown wasn't vain purposes. I never wanted to be a pageant girl. So it just helped me be heard. I would go to events, raise money. So Women in Need foundation helped me a lot to where I am now. I met all these wonderful women who were in the same boat as me. Either they were using or their husbands were using. And it was an abusive situation where it was just the right place at the right time for me. God, like put me in that situation for a reason then. So when I came back From China from Mrs. Globe pageant, I told my parents, I said, listen guys, I want to open my own rehab. Yeah. I said, I cannot work in the family business. It really doesn't interest me. Money is not the end of all means. And they were so proud of me. They were so supportive. My parents are just. I don't know.

[Cat]

I know. And I have to say, I love stories like that because it's. It definitely helps if you come from a supportive family.

[Zara Jamilan]

And my brother at the time had lost his friends to overdose. So he said, zara, let's partner up. We do it together. So I was very grateful. Now we have three rehabs in Los Angeles.

[Cat]

Unbelievable. And it's super tough work because you're dealing, you know, dealing with addiction, I think, for us. And many times people ask me, like, how was being married to an alcoholic? I think it's almost impossible to explain.

[Zara Jamilan]

Right.

[Cat]

Unless you've seen it or you lived it. It's such a nightmare. And many times it's a disease that takes. It kills very slowly, and it's. It's. Oh, my God. It's. It's a disaster.

[Zara Jamilan]

It kills the person, but it also kills the family members.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. One million percent.

[Zara Jamilan]

Even if it's your own, like, blood. Like, not your husband, your child, or your brother, you have to basically disown them. They have to hit rock bottom for them to understand they need help.

[Cat]

Yeah. And they have to want help.

[Zara Jamilan]

They need to like you.

[Cat]

Because in my case, I was there for 14 years because for the longest time I kept repeating this phrase, like, he's gonna stop drinking because he loves me. He is gonna stop drinking because he cares about. But it doesn't work that way. The person needs to decide that they want to change. Right.

[Zara Jamilan]

They only will do it if they love themselves. So you have to involve therapy. Of course. They have to find the root of the addiction. Right. It doesn't just come to you because it's fun. People don't start becoming alcoholics because life is so great.

[Cat]

No.

[Zara Jamilan]

So you have to go to the bottom of things and fix it from inside.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. And no matter how much they love you, they're not going to change for you.

[Cat]

No. In my case, obviously, for people that don't know, I don't even know if you know, it was a very tragic ending because he ended up dying, like, towards the end of his life. He was like, I don't want help. I want to die. It got so bad. And he drank, drank, drank, and he ended up dying, so to say. Yeah. And same with you. Like, you go, I went through such a traumatic experience that I was drinking wine every night.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes.

[Cat]

Because I was so stressed. I'm like, give me a glass of wine.

[Zara Jamilan]

To survive that, you have to become one like that to understand that.

[Cat]

It's incredible how our stories are, like, so similar. And then one day, same thing. I don't know what happened. I had an epiphany. I'm like, oh, my God, you're gonna end up like that. You are going to end up being a drunk loser, broke on a couch. Because, look. And so that's what made me stop before it got out of hand for me, luckily. But a lot of people keep drinking, thinking they have control over it until the day they don't have control anymore. And they need professional help, Right?

[Zara Jamilan]

And no matter how strong you are, how strong you have willpower. And we can all brag like big people. CEOs, you know, like athletes, they become addicts, too. So it's something like, it's more powerful than we are. Drugs and alcohol is waste, and nobody is strong to survive that. So we cannot brag and say, I'm so cool. Like, no, no.

[Cat]

So somebody out there listening, and I have friends that deal with it. Of course, a lot of people deal with addiction and heavy drinkers that don't think they're having heavy drinkers. But we see it that we know, right? We know the process. We know, okay, this person is drinking too much. How do you have a first step that you recommend? Because a lot of people are embarrassed or ashamed when it comes to getting help. Like, it's not like they're gonna call the clinic and say, look, a lot of people are embarrassed of that. Do you have any suggestions if somebody out there listening feels they might be needing help?

[Zara Jamilan]

It's called functional alcoholics. Yes. I know a lot of people who are very important. They have their jobs. Unless the job finds out, they are not fired. But do you imagine if you go to a doctor and your doctor might.

[Cat]

Be drinking, oh, my God.

[Zara Jamilan]

How crazy is that?

[Cat]

I know.

[Zara Jamilan]

And I've had. I have treated somebody like that was a doctor. That's pretty scary. Yes, he was an alcoholic. And the wife called, he came, and he got the help. But I'm just saying, for you, no, people call for themselves. Yeah, I love that. And I do admissions, too, till this day. I love being on the phone and talking to. Because that's when it's the most vulnerable moment in their life. I enjoy that, and I feel like I'm being useful and helpful. So when they call in, they say, yeah, I'm calling for myself. And I tell them always, okay, we're 90% there. That's already a success story when you know you need help. So that's so easy for us. You know, it just makes our job easier.

[Cat]

So I guess the first step always has to be the person needs to realize that they need help and reach out.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes, yes. And I can give number for you, you know, if you want to give it out for people.

[Cat]

Oh, yeah. We're gonna put your link here. Like if you guys are listening to the audio, episode 24 7, it's 24 7. So it's somebody out there drinking. Like, oh my God, I need help. Somebody's gonna answer the phone and guide them, Right?

[Zara Jamilan]

Somebody will answer. We might not take you in right there on that spot, but we usually do. We are open 24 7.

[Cat]

Yeah. So for people that don't understand what is a function alcoholic? A function alcoholic, somebody that drinks, drinks a lot or heavily, but they're they a lot. Many times they think people don't notice.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes.

[Cat]

And they're going by life, like you said, working, socializing. But the red flags are there because they always grab going for a drink.

[Zara Jamilan]

They are. And always like it's a red flag. And then they are rude. It does show people can see that even though as nice as you try to be. And also, I mean, besides all that, it ruins their health. Then later they start having liver problems and all kinds of different other problems that when they come to us, we have a medical doctor who deals with a lot of other issues that come with it.

[Cat]

Somebody that drinks heavily and they might be listening and say, I don't have a problem. I just like a drink after a busy day. For example, this ex boyfriend that you met, I told you the story last year, I took him to one of the. It was a Christmas. Took him to one of the events, the same place we went to dinner. And by the time we got to dinner, he was so hammered. So hammered, he didn't remember where we were. And I had to carry him to the Uber and carry him home. I think he's beginning to be a functioning alcoholic, in my opinion. But a lot of people listening, they're like that. I just drink because it's the weekend.

[Zara Jamilan]

I just drank because of how many.

[Cat]

Exactly. When does it become a problem? When. When do you think somebody needs to stop and say, okay, this is a problem.

[Zara Jamilan]

So anytime you say you need a drink, that's already a problem. You need to be functioning without drinking like you should be okay. And even if you're stressed, it's okay. Like life is not supposed to be only, like, fun times. And it's like, I have a friend who says. He said, like, life is not a fruitcake. It's not a fruitcake. Life should not be easy. It. It should be obstacles and difficulties. That's how we grow. So if you need a drink to overcome an obstacle, then you definitely have.

[Cat]

A problem, you know, Especially if you say almost every day, right? Like, I need a drink. Yes, I had a tough day. I need a drink.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. So for me and my family, my parents don't even drink. They're amazing. But like, my brother and I, you know, we're younger, we like to socialize, we go out a lot. So for us, if we are having a stressful day, that's our rule. If we are going through hard times at work or with family, we don't touch alcohol.

[Cat]

I love that. At all.

[Zara Jamilan]

At all. We only drink to celebrate.

[Cat]

That's a very good rule. Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

So we, like, right now, after this, we can go celebrate. You know what I mean? I am, like, I'm not in recovery myself, and it's tough for me to be in this industry because most people I work with or work for me are in recovery. So I have to be respectful of them. I don't, of course, I don't drink around them. So it's hard because, you know, like, socializing and all these events, the peer pressure, too, right?

[Cat]

Like, that's another thing, like, because everywhere people go, if we. Let's say you go to a happy hour, to a party or something, and you say, no, thanks, I don't feel like drinking. Usually everybody's like, come on, have one drink.

[Zara Jamilan]

Like, the pressure, it's annoying.

[Cat]

It's annoying. You have to be, like, really certain of what works for you.

[Zara Jamilan]

And usually whenever I say, oh, I'm not drinking, for example, sometimes I don't drink because I'm just cleansing, detoxing, whatever, for health reasons. Right away. First question, I get asked, oh, are you pregnant? First question, second question, oh, are you in recovery yourself? Like, no, I don't have to fit any type of, like, a little, you know, box.

[Cat]

I know people. Usually the question I get is like, oh, are you sober? Like, no, I have my occasional wine, my occasional glass of champagne. Like you said, if I'm celebrating, if it's a really special occasion, like when you and I went to happy hour, I'm like, oh, my God, I want to have a glass of champagne with you because it's such a special to meet such a wonderful woman and a new girlfriend. But I do like you. I don't go home and say, I had such a stressful day at work, I'm gonna drink.

[Zara Jamilan]

Wow, That's a problem.

[Cat]

That's a problem. That, for me, I had to literally do, like, a health check, like, three years ago, and I stopped doing that before it got out of control. And I. That's another thing that I share with people, and I'm not embarrassed of it because I think it's such important information. My mom was an alcoholic. She was a functioning alcoholic. She was a chef.

[Zara Jamilan]

Okay.

[Cat]

She thought nobody noticed that she drank.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah.

[Cat]

But we know. Everybody noticed. Everybody knows she was.

[Zara Jamilan]

And it hurts your family so much.

[Cat]

Yes. And she ended up killing herself.

[Zara Jamilan]

I'm sorry.

[Cat]

Yeah, so that was very. Yeah. One year before my husband. I know. Very traumatic.

[Zara Jamilan]

But you saw that growing up. So you.

[Cat]

Yeah, we. I grew up around major alcoholic behavior, like, to the point that I didn't even know it was alcohol abuse.

[Zara Jamilan]

Oh, yeah. Because you thought that was normal. Yeah.

[Cat]

I ended up getting married to an alcoholic.

[Zara Jamilan]

Because you didn't know.

[Cat]

Because I didn't know. I thought, oh, everybody drinks. Everybody.

[Zara Jamilan]

Cultures do drink more than others. Yeah.

[Cat]

But, like, every day. Every day. Like you said, if you're doing everything around alcohol, you should not need the.

[Zara Jamilan]

Alcohol to be happy, to enjoy a good time.

[Cat]

Right. You should be able to have a good time without.

[Zara Jamilan]

For sure. Sometimes I'm so happy. Like, I'm always energized, and I'm happy. Guys. Okay? We've all been through stuff. We all had hard times, good times, whatever.

[Cat]

Yes.

[Zara Jamilan]

But it's life, you know? And I'm always very positive.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

And I always think there is a better day. Tomorrow is another day. So I don't want to, you know, end my life today because, yes, things might be really bad. I'm going through difficult times right now, not gonna lie. But you know what? I'm, like, thinking tomorrow might be better. And some people, and they see me, they're like, zara, you're so happy. Always. What are you on? Like, nothing.

[Cat]

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's like you said, you know, life is ups and downs and challenges. We only put the good parts on social media. Nobody sees, like, the battles we're going through. Like, obviously, I share a lot of my podcasts, but in general, unless we.

[Zara Jamilan]

Talk about it, you have a podcast that's different. Right.

[Cat]

But everybody thinks it's all, like, flowers and. But it's not. I. I think the question is, like, make sure you find other ways to blow up steam. That Alcohol doesn't become like this, this everyday need.

[Zara Jamilan]

Right.

[Cat]

Because then it gets out of control. It's much harder to take care of it.

[Zara Jamilan]

Literally. My life too. I post all the fun stuff, all the trips and the restaurants, so people think that's all I do. Yes, I do eat every day.

[Cat]

We live in nice events. They think, oh, this girl's like the most perfect. They don't see how much we want.

[Zara Jamilan]

I'm not gonna put it, like when I'm crying, nobody has the energy. Like when I'm anxiety, like I get crazy anxiety lately because of stress or I'm not gonna post that. Who wants to see that?

[Cat]

And it's so cool because your work is very low key and you're very low key about it. And obviously it's very stressful. It's not easy work. Like you're not, you know, no selling shoes, champagne.

[Zara Jamilan]

And I care about. I don't care how many clients in the past five years we have had. I, I know them all by face and by name. And I, I'm involved in their recovery process and I care about them very dearly. So when I hear like, success stories, of course it makes my day. But sometimes, then not everybody is successful. They have relapses, they come. So it's not easy. You know, they're like my children. I call them my children.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. Yeah. And I really admire that because like I said, I've been through, you know, like, you know, addicts, and I made a decision for me that I never want to go through that again because it almost killed me in the process.

[Zara Jamilan]

And it just ruins you.

[Cat]

Yeah. Like, even dating, if I see a guy that's like, you know, on their dating profile picture, like, with a drink, like, it's a big part of their lives.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah.

[Cat]

I don't want to date somebody like that. So I think it was a blessing in disguise that my relationship with this, this dude didn't work out.

[Zara Jamilan]

Thank go.

[Cat]

Because he's a heavy drinker. I just don't want to deal with it again because it's so painful. I want somebody that has more like a, you know, healthy light, like my lifestyle. Very, very healthy. Like, I'm really into wellness. I'm into biohacking, my health, I don't need to drink every day.

[Zara Jamilan]

Biohacking is beautiful. It's such a new trend and I think it's cool. And yeah, listen, at the end of the day, life is short. We have, have one chance and you shouldn't waste your time with somebody that's so different from you. And the whole time you're going to be basically like working on fixing things and.

[Cat]

Yeah. No, and I think for you it would be the same. Like, I think if you meet a guy and you notice that he's really heavy into drinking or maybe doing drugs again, that would not be the guy for you.

[Zara Jamilan]

No, no. I met my friends, introduced me to someone really great a few years ago during COVID Wonderful guy, good looking, success, successful, smart, like everything, like, check, check. Like perfect age, you know, like single, never been married, no baggage, whatever. And then he came to a party and he wasn't drinking at all. So I was like, interesting. Why is he not drinking? So I told him straight up. I said, listen, so do you have drinking problems? Because, like, I'm very forward. I said, it's weird that you, like, didn't touch anything and you're not in recovery from what I've heard. He goes, yeah. I said, or you don't want to show your true colors. He said, I'm being careful. It's the first time I want to make an impression. Well, that's very loud and clear. It's somebody I don't want to go out with who has to be like, so. So he gets so out of hand. He doesn't.

[Cat]

He was a. Oh, yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

He drinks so much he doesn't know when to stop. Oh, my God. I'm like, well, thank God. I realized that right away. But it's good.

[Cat]

I like that you're like, upfront about the questions because I'm the same. I think this is a very important piece of information to find out.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah.

[Cat]

From the get go. Like, are you sober or do you drink or do you have a drinking problem or do you do. For example, I don't want to date somebody that does drugs because I don't do drugs. I've dated a guy that I was madly in love with him, but he was freaking doing cocaine at bars. Yeah, I can't do that at 1:00am 2:00am I'm like, dude, I wake up at 5:00am I know I have a life.

[Zara Jamilan]

I need to be out to go to the gym.

[Cat]

I have a business, I have dogs.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Cat]

I want to do my thing. I don't want to date some cokeheads. So to me, that was like a deal breaker, you know? But it's important to ask these questions from the get go.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. And like, don't get me wrong, I. I like to go out. I do do not mind staying up late, like a little bit on the weekend because I Enjoy life. But I'm not gonna touch drugs to give me that energy. So when I'm done, I go home and sleep. I don't want my, my man to be still out partying.

[Cat]

Same. But that's the thing that we were saying. We, we love going out, enjoying a good time. We do happy hour, we do dinner, we go to event, we travel. But we are responsible adults.

[Zara Jamilan]

I feel like we have control of our life might be a tough word, but awareness, like we know what's happening and we're mature enough to kind of plan our days accordingly so we don't flake on. I'm never late.

[Cat]

Oh, my God. That's another thing that I loved about you. I'm not kidding you. Every time. And I'm not even talking about work, guys, okay? Talk about socializing. Every single time I have a new girlfriend or I meet a girlfriend or even my old girlfriends, they are always late, always late. And it drives me crazy, out of my mind because I'm never late. I'm super respectful of people's times. So when I met you and your other friend, I'm not gonna say her name now because I don't know if we can. You guys were always on time. You show up, I'm like, wow, they're my kind of girls. They're always on time. I never met another woman in LA like this.

[Zara Jamilan]

No, I mean, yes, like you said, it's so disrespectful. I don't want to be stood up and wait. I had to actually stop being a friend with somebody once because did that to me a few, two times. I was okay with. She was like 10, 20 minutes. It's traffic, it's LA, it happens. But also, you do live in LA, you know, there is traffic. So go earlier, you know. And then at this time, I was, you know, like, I had my job, I had my family here. I was busy and I lived so far. I had to drive towards her for an hour when she lived around the corner. She was, she made me wait like 30, 40 minutes. So by the time if I have one hour lunch, I was gonna be relate to something else. So I just left and I, I never came back. Good for you. I cut her off because I'm like, we cannot be friends.

[Cat]

I know, I did that too. I think my rule of thumb is like, okay, if you're late, 15 minutes. Okay, okay, I'll wait. I get a no. I live like one time. Yeah, one time. But if you're constantly doing that to me, like you said, you know, I have a busy life. I think you do. And. And time is our most precious asset.

[Zara Jamilan]

Right.

[Cat]

Like if you're always late, like. Yeah, yeah. We're not a match in any way, shape or form.

[Zara Jamilan]

It doesn't have to be a man. Like, it could not be friends because we don't have the same values.

[Cat]

Yeah. We're talking about girlfriends, like just respecting each other. And I think that's so important because so many women out there, they think it's cute to be late.

[Zara Jamilan]

It's not.

[Cat]

It's not cute, it's rude.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. And back in the day, you know, like when the men were courting women, I think they were saying up to 10, 15 minutes a woman can be late. It's okay. But I. So I don't want to date a guy that's a loser, that has nothing to do with his time, that's just chilling. And he's gonna wait for me. No. I'm gonna be with a guy who is a successful man, who. Time is money. Yeah. So he's gonna sit there and I'm not gonna be late to my date either. Same.

[Cat]

But you know, to this day and age, there's still a bunch of girls. I hear they're all the time here in la. They're like, oh, make him wait. Let they think they're like gonna value them more. But that's such bs.

[Zara Jamilan]

You're not better than him.

[Cat]

I agree. It's not so disrespectful. Just be on time, be respectful. I think it's classy.

[Zara Jamilan]

It is. I think men appreciate that also.

[Cat]

And. And women appreciate that and girlfriends appreciate that. And I love that about you. That's why we really hit it off because we are on the same page. Holidays are almost here and if you still have names on your list, don't panic. Uncommon Goods makes holiday shopping stress free and joyful. With thousands of one of a kind gifts you can't find anywhere else. You'll discover presents that feel meaningful and personal. Never rushed or last min. Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique and often handmade or made in the usa. Many are crafted by independent artists and small businesses, so every gift feels special and thoughtfully chosen. I got an anti stress heart shaped pillow and I was so in love with it, I decided to get it for a bunch of my friends and family. And everybody adores it. The gifts are so, so unique. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. From moms and dads to kids and teens, book lovers, sports fans to foodies, mixologists, gardeners, you Find unforgettable gifts that are anything but ordinary. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. How nice is that? Every purchase is a chance to choose something remarkable and feel good about where your money goes. And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a non profit partner of your choice. They have donated more than 3 million DOL to date. And I absolutely love that about Uncommon Goods. So don't wait. Make this holiday the year you give something truly unforgettable. To get 15 off your next gift, go to uncommon goods.comcat K-A-T that's uncommongoods.comcat for 15 off a gift. Don't miss out on this limited time offer Uncommon Goods. We are all out of the ordinary. Mari, let's talk a little bit about the dating scene in la. So now you're, you're single and your gorgeous self, super successful. I know the kind of guy you want is like very high value, very powerful man. Do you feel dating in LA is harder because it's LA in terms of, because you travel a lot?

[Zara Jamilan]

I mean I feel like these days it's hard everywhere. And you know, it's not la, actually la. There's a lot of amazing people. It's just that I feel with social media and women being so readily available and so desperate, I feel like men don't make the effort like they used to because when they like you and things little go off a little, they don't make the effort to make it work because they're like, oh well, let me open the catalog. Instagram. And then they find another picture of another beautiful woman and now they're successful. I'm not saying, I'm not talking about the easy girls, the only fangirls. No, there is amazing, successful, business minded, beautiful women also online who are also desperate and ready.

[Cat]

You know, look, I completely agree with you that I don't think it's an LA problem because I get that question a lot everywhere. Yeah, because the New York girls, they're like New York is harder. Miami. I think there are good people and bad people everywhere you go.

[Zara Jamilan]

Even I feel like the small towns, the villages, it's because they have access to everything now too. So I feel like it's hard everywhere and there is a more beautiful girl, there is a younger girl, there is a cooler girl around the corner. So people don't value like old fashioned values that we did back then. Also like family is not a priority anymore.

[Cat]

But look, I think the guy that Is swiping and swiping and swiping and swiping. They're the player or they're having a midlife Crisis. Like this 50 year old dude, 60 year old dudes that they're trying to fight the 25 year olds, like massive midlife crisis. We don't want those men anyway.

[Zara Jamilan]

They want quite a quality. Not quality, they want quantity.

[Cat]

They're like players. Yeah. And we're not interested in the players. I think it's like finding the diamond in the sand. Like the guy that is ready, serious for a mature relationship, that wants to find one quality woman and that's it.

[Zara Jamilan]

And I think they do exist. People are like, oh, everything out there is trash. I don't think so. I'm not trash. I'm here. I'm quality woman. So I feel like my match is out there too. So I'm gonna just take time. And I love it.

[Cat]

I love your attitude. For sure. I think it's the energy you put out there. If you decide you're only gonna meet crap, that's probably what you're going to attract, right?

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. And I've been meeting like really good people. The only issue sometimes, like they're a little too young for me. A little too old and age again. Like, yes, you can be very happy with somebody 10 years younger than you. You can. And it can work.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

But I don't know, I don't know.

[Cat]

If, I mean, I feel flattered when like a younger guy flirts with me. Like this morning, a 22 year old, he sent me a message on Instagram, you know, you're so beautiful. Will you date a 22 year old? I'm like, I'm very flattered, but no.

[Zara Jamilan]

Well, maybe that's too much. But like up to 10 years, if he's mature.

[Cat]

Right. If he's mature, puts his shit together. Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

I said no to a guy once because of age and now that we're old, like I kind of regret it. And I'm like, why did I? Because I was thinking it wouldn't work in the long run.

[Cat]

Case by case.

[Zara Jamilan]

Right, Right. I married an older guy and it didn't work. So am I to say age?

[Cat]

I married a much older guy and it didn't work.

[Zara Jamilan]

It doesn't matter. I feel like our person is out there.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

It's just gonna take us time. But also, I think maybe I should make a little more effort. I have been so busy and I've been enjoying being single. And I'm not gonna lie.

[Cat]

But you know, in A way it's good because I think we are in this phase. Like, we're really focused, you know, self projects, our business, our growth. I think when you focus more on yourself, you start attracting better.

[Zara Jamilan]

I think so.

[Cat]

Because you're not sending, like, that air of that. Because we're not desperate for a man. Like. Like you said, I'm very happy being single. I enjoy my freedom. I'm so peaceful right now. But I feel like a different quality of men, gets attracted to our vibe.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, it's like, I'm always happy, but I'm thinking in the long run, like, later on when we're older, I don't want to be an old lady alone. So I would like to have a husband to grow up with. And also, I went to a really nice, fancy event the other day, like a black tie event, where it was most. Most of the people were with couples, and I didn't bring. I could have brought a date, but I didn't want to bring somebody. That's not important that I'm not, like.

[Cat]

Exactly. You didn't bring because you didn't want.

[Zara Jamilan]

I didn't want to bring somebody just to say I have a date. Yeah. But it did feel weird. I was kind of like the only person by myself.

[Cat]

But, Lisa, it feels weird because of this expectation that society puts in your head, like, oh, women shouldn't do stuff alone. Because if you think about it, you should feel very empowered.

[Zara Jamilan]

I always do stuff alone. Yeah, it's fine.

[Cat]

Exactly. Same. But when I do stuff alone, I actually love it. I feel very empowered. I can do whatever the hell I want. If I want a date. Yeah, I will bring you. And if I don't want to date, I'd rather go alone.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yes. You know, sure. If you're not that person that I want to be seen with that I. There is no reason for me to introduce you to nice things.

[Cat]

Like the mistake I made with this dude. Right. I introduced him our group of friends.

[Zara Jamilan]

And now he's thinking there.

[Cat]

And now he's there. And now I think, like, why am I gonna keep bringing dudes into. Because our circle is so exclusive and fabulous and private and special. I'd rather go alone, even.

[Zara Jamilan]

So that circle that we are in, it. Yeah. Like, there is a couple guys who like me, and they approach me. But you know what I thought to myself, I don't want to date anybody.

[Cat]

From that circle because it doesn't work. Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

I don't want to ruin them.

[Cat]

I agree.

[Zara Jamilan]

You know, I don't want to break.

[Cat]

Bring I, I think it's your phone. No, it was my phone. Sorry, guys, I forgot to put it.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah, I don't want to bring somebody, date somebody there because if it doesn't work out, it's gonna create weird awkwardness in my whole, like.

[Cat]

Yeah, it's your circle.

[Zara Jamilan]

Yeah. I want to enjoy being part of it. I agree.

[Cat]

Yeah. Especially now that's growing. Yeah, same. I love that. But it was a good lesson for me because like you said to me, if we meet a man, don't try to fix their life, like you said, elevate them. They, they should have their own going on. And then the more the relationship progresses, you decide like, okay, this person is worthy of meeting my friends or going to an event with me, but you can just open all doors for, you know, because then they start taking advantage of it.

[Zara Jamilan]

He's doing now.

[Cat]

There you go. Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

Well, hopefully girls will hear this and learn from your bad experience if they're wise.

[Cat]

I think everything that we go through is a lesson.

[Zara Jamilan]

Right.

[Cat]

So we don't make the same mistakes again. And we all learn together. And I definitely learned from you because the way you, you, you said it, the way you framed, I'm like, Seems so natural.

[Zara Jamilan]

I don't know that. Yeah.

[Cat]

And I'm like, you know what? She's very wise and she's very right.

[Zara Jamilan]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Cat]

You know, it's a privilege, like you said, the event you went to, it's a privilege to go to such a high end event with you.

[Zara Jamilan]

I agree.

[Cat]

You know, but next time, instead of thinking, feeling bad or intimidated, whatever it is, you feel like, you know what? I'm empowered because I can do whatever I want.

[Zara Jamilan]

It was great. And I go to it every year for the past like 10 years, my friend has been, you know, I've been going there and I have been. Been divorced for. Already for 12 years, you know, so I've been single. But, you know, if you're not special, you're not the one. I, I'm not taking.

[Cat]

Same. The same. I'm very proud of you. It was such an honor meeting you. You're super brilliant, intelligent. Congratulations on your work.

[Zara Jamilan]

Thank you.

[Cat]

And I'm putting the link here of your website. Your website. Guys, now on a serious note, because we may, we may crack a lot of jokes, but obviously addiction is such a serious and important subject and I'm happy that it united us. I'm proud of both of us because we got out of it. But if you out there are in need of help or if, you know Anyone who might need help, please reach out. Because like Zara said, they answer the phone.

[Zara Jamilan]

We do, you know, and you're. So let's call back. And if we don't, I even like give my cell phone and I talk to them. They text me 24, 7. It's just something we're available. Everybody who works for our company loves what they do. It's our calling. We don't do it for the money. Right, of course, it's a business. But compared to what I was making in construction, this is like nothing.

[Cat]

No. And plus, like you said, you have to love it because it's really tough work. But please get help, because alcohol addiction, you know, obviously kills. It killed my one day I'll tell the whole story. Right. But get help while you can.

[Zara Jamilan]

I agree. And coming here, I was kind of anxious because I was scared. It's a sensitive subject. It's a. Thank you. Thank you. I just didn't want to like open wounds that were there because I've healed.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Zara Jamilan]

And it's a sensitive subject for me. Talk about abuse in my own life. We have a shame culture where I come from, so same. You know, I try. I try to make it light and easy going.

[Cat]

But listen, I have to say I'm very proud of you for speaking about it because I know how painful it is because to this day, same, the wounds are there. It hurts talking about it because all these memories come in our head. But if you speaking up and sharing the story might be helping. Helping one person out there, one woman to get out of an abusive relationship or one person that's going through abuse to seek help.

[Zara Jamilan]

I agree.

[Cat]

You know, we're doing our job. I love it and I'm very honored and very proud to have you here. Thank you so much. And now we're gonna go do our responsible happy hour of one drink and a bite.

[Zara Jamilan]

You deserve it. Thank you.

[Cat]

Such an honor. Guys, be safe out there. And if you need help, help.

[Zara Jamilan]

And don't drink and drive.

[Cat]

Don't drink and drive for sure, but go get. Thank you, my love. It was super honor. Be safe. Love you guys. Be back soon.