DATE SMARTER & CHOOSE BETTER MEN

Summary

Podcast Summary: Kat on the Loose

Episode: DATE SMARTER & CHOOSE BETTER MEN
Date: June 17, 2026
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Wes

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Episode Overview

In this candid and spirited episode, Kat Zammuto sits down with Wes, a recurring and guest-favorite voice, to discuss dating standards, gender dynamics, and how women and men can improve their love lives by making smarter choices. From anecdotes about modern dating misadventures to deeper insights into provider roles, self-worth, and the dangers of enabling bad behavior, Kat and Wes tackle how to date smarter—and why it’s critical to choose better men. The conversation is bold, unfiltered, and challenges cultural norms about who should pay for dates, healthy relationship dynamics, and knowing your worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shocking Dinner Story: Splitting the Bill with Another Woman’s Boyfriend

[01:43–06:18]

• Kat’s Anecdote: Kat shares a recent, unsettling experience where a potential business client brought her boyfriend to a high-end dinner—and asked Kat to split the bill for the boyfriend’s meal, a first in Kat’s dating and business life.
• Wes’s Reaction: “This is the first time I ever hear of something like this.” (04:50)
• Cultural Differences: Wes asserts this situation is a rare, almost “comical” scenario, unlikely to happen outside the U.S., especially not in places like Lebanon or the Middle East.
• Takeaway: Both agree that this is less about money and more about respect and gender dynamics; it’s a role reversal that signals issues with self-worth and relationship standards.

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2. Who Should Pay? Men as Providers & the “5050” Debate

[07:05–13:56]

• Core Belief: Both agree: Men should pay on dates, regardless of a woman’s finances. “If I go out on a date, I want a man to behave like a man and pay for the freaking date.” — Kat (07:05)
• Misunderstandings: Many men online conflate paying with being “used” for money, while Kat and Wes insist it’s about masculine energy, protection, and courting—not cash.
• Notable Quote: “If a man doesn’t give you money, he doesn’t really love you.” — Wes (09:01)
• Wes’s Stand: “Women want to be taken care of in general. Men want to provide. I think it’s nature.” — Kat (09:31)
• Response to Critics: Wes plans a rebuttal to a doctor who claims his views aren’t scientific, stating, “If you don’t have experience in relationships, you don’t know.” (12:14)
• George Clooney Example: Kat shares how George Clooney enjoys providing for his highly successful wife, Amal, illustrating that a man’s provider role isn’t about relative wealth but about identity and love.

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3. Women as Enablers of Poor Male Behavior

[16:33–21:02]

• Admission & Reflection: Kat admits to financially supporting a loser, reinforcing Wes’s point that women sometimes enable the very behaviors they later resent.
• Root Cause: Wes suggests such patterns stem from childhood experiences and a desire to “mother” partners who aren’t self-sufficient.
• Cycle of Enabling: “If you’re giving a broke guy money, I think you’re enabling their behavior.” — Kat (19:11)
• Breaking the Cycle: Both agree: enabling disempowers men and perpetuates dependency; women need to learn and enforce their boundaries.

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4. Broke Men Should Not Date

[21:02–21:24]

• Wes’s Rule: “How do you have time to even focus on a woman when you’re broke? ...You should be focusing on success and then everything follows.” (21:02)

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5. The Coffee Date Debate

[21:24–25:17]

• Trends & Red Flags: Coffee dates as a first date, especially in LA, are rising—as men aim to minimize cost and effort.
• Wes’s Take: “I personally, I would never take a woman out on a coffee date. It just feels like there’s no effort.” (22:28)
• Implication: Men opting for coffee dates may not be genuinely invested or are serial daters.
• Notable Quote: Kat: “If it starts like that…worried about his wallet more than finding the woman of his life…not the man I want.” (22:09)
• High-Value Tip: “You’re not going to get high-value women that way.” — Wes (24:09)

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6. If They’re Interested, You’ll Know

[25:17–28:51]

• Communication Consistency: A man in love or genuinely interested will not go silent—ever.
• Red Flags: “No man is too busy for the love of his life.” — Wes (25:17)
• Avoidance Tactics: Wes labels ghosting or delayed replies as avoidance—not busyness.
• Advice: “If someone doesn’t make time, that’s your answer. Move on.” — Kat (26:43)
• Sex & Ghosting: If a man ghosts after sex, Wes advises, “I’m sorry you got played, but now it’s a lesson learned for you.” (28:33)

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7. Are Women Really “Gold Diggers”?

[28:51–31:07]

• High Standards Are a Compliment: Wes argues that being chosen for your ability to provide is a sign of admiration, not exploitation.
• Physical & Emotional Provision: “The biggest turn-on for a woman is for a man to be able to do things...that she can’t really do.” (29:45)
• Men Must Step Up: “Women want to be with a man, not a male.” — Wes (30:27)
• Changing Mindsets: People can change if the message hits home—Wes shares that many men have adjusted their behavior after seeing his content.

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8. Last-Minute Dates: Know Your Worth

[31:42–32:48]

• Golden Rule: If a guy only calls you Friday for a same-night plan, decline—he sees you as a backup, not a priority.
• Wes's Confirmation: “It’s a booty call. Or last resort.” (32:48)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the bill-splitting fiasco:
  “1,000, 1,000%. Yeah, I think that’s not just out of line. I think it’s borderline comical.”
  — Wes [05:49]

• On men as providers:
  “A man should pay for the date. Period. …I want to feel I’m being taken care of.”
  — Kat [07:05]

• On self-worth & enabling:
  “Women are just as part of the problem as men are, because they’re allowing this.”
  — Wes [11:05]

• On ghosting:
  “If a man ignores you…this is an avoidance method. He’s pushing you away without giving it to you.”
  — Wes [27:12]

• On coffee dates:
  “You’re not going to get high value women like that.”
  — Wes [24:09]

• On date invitations:
  “If they call you on Friday to go out Friday night, it’s more likely it’s just a booty call.”
  — Kat [32:44] / Wes [32:48]

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Key Timestamps

• [01:43–06:18]: Kat’s dinner story & Wes’s cultural perspective
• [07:05–13:56]: Gender roles, paying for dates, and money myths
• [16:33–21:02]: Women as enablers; learning from mistakes
• [21:24–25:17]: Coffee date trend, effort, and values
• [25:17–28:51]: Contact consistency as interest; silence as a message
• [28:51–31:07]: Gold diggers vs. high standards; can men change?
• [31:42–32:48]: Last-minute date invitations and what they really mean

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Takeaways & Advice

• Stick to Your Standards: Value yourself enough to expect effort, consistency, and the “provider” energy from men.
• Don’t Enable: Supporting men financially or accepting too little is a path to dissatisfaction and disrespect.
• Don’t Fall for Excuses: If interest is real, communication and plans will be clear and intentional.
• Value Planning: Accept invitations from people who value your time and plan ahead; say no to last-minute “options.”
• Change Is Possible: Both men and women can upgrade their dating habits by raising standards and refusing to settle.

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Tone: Raw, direct, honest, and empowering—Kat and Wes don’t mince words and encourage listeners to expect more from themselves and from anyone they date.

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For more wisdom from Wes, find him on Instagram (linked in episode notes).
Final Message: “Don’t accept dates last minute on a Friday. You deserve better.” — Kat

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Female Guest]

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[Wes]

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[Wes]

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[Female Guest]

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[Wes]

Hi.

[Female Guest]

Welcome back to Cat on the Loose.

[Wes]

Hi. So good to be back. How are you?

[Female Guest]

I'm great. I know you're so busy, so I really appreciate your time because as I was telling you last year, you came to the show and your episode is one of our top five episodes of all times out of 300 episodes. So I'm very grateful. I know apparently whatever you say resonates.

[Wes]

Yeah.

[Female Guest]

Videos are a little bit controversial, but they're really good.

[Wes]

Yeah. Well, that's flattering. I'm glad to be in your top five. It's. It's amazing.

[Female Guest]

So let's see if we top that. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Wes]

Okay, you got to hit me with some nice questions today.

[Female Guest]

Yeah, I have. I want to start with one. And ever since that happened to me, I'm like, I got to talk to us about it. I want your opinion. And I didn't tell you upfront about it because I want your honest, organic reaction to this, but it was the first time in my life that this happened to me. And it took me a few weeks to process. And then I was like, this is crazy. So tell me what you think. Okay. In a nutshell, I was talking to this lady who doesn't live in la. She lives in a different place of potentially doing business together. Okay. So months and months and months after talking, she was like, I'm gonna be in la. Let's go do a business dinner. I'm like, okay, great. So I book a really nice restaurant in la. And. And the night before she came, she sends me a message like, oh, by the way, make the reservation for three because I'm bringing my boyfriend. So I'm like, okay, whatever. So I make the reservation for three. I go pick them up at their hotel to be nice, and I take them to the restaurant and we sit and we have dinner. Long story. La la. I noticed during dinner that this dude is like her little puppy dog, you know, just sitting there doing whatever the hell she wants. But we have dinner, and when the bill comes, and I'm gonna emphasize, this is not about money, but I want your opinion. This woman, she's very successful, by the way. Very successful. It's pretty obvious she's paying for banking him, like, the whole trip. So when the bill comes, she looks at me and she's like, hey, let's split this bill.

[Wes]

She tells you to split the bill?

[Female Guest]

Yeah, she tells me. She's like, hey, let's split the bill. And the dude is sitting there like stone silence. He doesn't say one word. So of course I'm like, okay. Yeah. So I. I get my credit card and I pay. And then after I go home, I'm like, did this really just happen for me that this woman asked me to split the bill for her boyfriend's meal and this dude is sitting there letting two women do that for him? I think it's so wrong on so many levels. But I want to know your opinion. Overreacting, I think.

[Wes]

I think you already know what my opinion would be on this. First of all, can I ask you a few questions? First of all, this woman is a business partner or a potential business partner.

[Female Guest]

It's potentially going to be my client because I own a pr, marketing and branding agency. Yeah. So she was a potential client, but we were talking for many months. We had a million, you know, video meetings and everything until we met in person. I just thought it was so out of line. I mean, I don't care. I think it's wrong on so many levels. But if she wants to have a puppy dog of a man and pay for everything, that's her business. But to ask another woman to foot the bill for your boyfriend. I never even paid for my man is the first time in my life I paid a bill for a man in a restaurant.

[Wes]

You know, I'm going to tell you something that's never, ever, ever happened. This is the first time I hear of something like this. This is the first time I ever hear of something like this. Just because there's a woman, then there's a guy who's maybe her sugar baby, I don't know, or whatever, whatever they call him. Let me ask you, how old is a woman and how old is a Guy.

[Female Guest]

That's a good point. These are not young people. This lady is 50 and this man, I'm going to guess he's at least 60, 64, 65. Like he's not. This is not a young couple. This is an older man, like se retire, blah, blah, blah. But whatever the power dynamic is between them, as a man, I would be embarrassed that he's just sitting there and two women are splitting the bill in this high end steakhouse. My main question to you is, don't you think it was out of line of her to ask me to pay for her boyfriend?

[Wes]

1,000, 1,000%? Yeah, I think that's not just out of line. I think it's, it's, it's borderline comical, like in a way, you know what I mean? Because you have this 65 year old dude eating and then asking women to, you know, or just being okay with two women splitting the bill is beyond me. But this is, Look, I keep telling you this. You will not see this outside of the US it doesn't exist.

[Female Guest]

You don't think so?

[Wes]

You think it does not exist? I promise you, like in Middle east, this stuff does not exist. You're not gonna see a woman in her 50s with a man in his 60s going out to dinner with another woman and the man just staying mute while the other women are. It's not going to happen, I promise you. It's very, very, very rare if it ever does happen. But no, this stuff sometimes is, you know, although it's comical and stuff, it's when you, when, when somebody tells me it's happened in Cali or Miami or I believe it because a lot of men and women have adopted this type of lifestyle and this mindset and, and just like, you know, the 5050 thing. And women, you know, will pay for their men and it's just, it's, it's silly. But you won't see that in, in my, in Lebanon. You're not going to see that.

[Female Guest]

But it's interesting that you said that because after you came to the show and we talked about a bunch of your videos and I completely agree with you and your views, like how a man should treat a woman, by the way. But I got a lot of messages from men. Actually. One guy started like bullying me on social media when I was agreeing with you and your videos and he's like, oh, you, you talking about. They think it's about money. Like when you, you tell a guy like, you should pay for the day, I think a man should pay for the date. Period. And I don't think it has anything to do with money. I honestly don't think it matters how much money I have in my bank account because I go out on a date. I want a man to behave like a man and pay for the freaking date. That's all. Because if you. If otherwise, I go out with my girlfriends and we split. I go out with my clients and we split. But if it's my man, I want to feel I'm being taken care of. But I got a lot of messages, ink, like I said, including from men in the United States, like, oh, what's the problem? I'm just gonna split. If I don't know the woman, why am I gonna spend my money on her? I got a lot of that.

[Wes]

Ask him, what favorite lip gloss color does he like. That's too funny. Yeah, again, again, I. I believe all of these things because we see it a lot in, in, know, in the Western society and in this area. Do I agree with any of it? No, I don't agree with any of it. As a matter of fact, I just. I actually just got, you know, when. When, when creators will stitch your videos and stuff like that. Yeah, I had a. I had a creator. I'm not going to say his name right now, but very famous creator. Stitch. One of my videos about, you know, one of my videos was talking about if, If. If a man doesn't give you money, he doesn't really love you. And, And, And I, you know, me. It's a little dramatic on how I say, basically bring in the message, but there's a lot of truth to it.

[Female Guest]

Yes, I agree.

[Wes]

Because us men, when we're like, you know, really into something, we. We want to do that. You know, when we want, we want to do that. So this guy. This guy stitched my video. So he's supposed to be a doctor. Okay. And he. He says he has scientific facts that, you know, that I'm. I'm wrong. So stay tuned because I'm actually going to make a response video to his probably in the next three to four days. So it's gonna be fun.

[Female Guest]

I have a. Okay, so let's rewind a little bit. For people that did not listen to the first episode, I just want to kind of go back to that. We. You believe. And I agree that, you know, men are providers. Especially if the man is into you, he's gonna want to pay for a nice date, to pay for dinner, to spoil the woman. It makes him feel manly. I do think that's a big part of a healthy relationship. But I keep saying it's not even about money. I think it's about nature. Women want to be taken care of in general. Men want to provide. I think it's nature. But why do you think it bothers so many men when we are talking about their wallet? We're saying like, look, if you like someone freaking pay for it, be a gentleman. Why do you think some men make such a huge deal about it?

[Wes]

Yeah, again, I think it's an environment, it's an environment thing. So a lot of what they see now, especially in the last, I would say three to five years or so is, is, is men, you know, adopting this mindset that hey, you know, I don't need to pay for her whole meal unless I'm taking her home or, or something along those lines. And why it's continuing to be the way it is is because there's a lot of females that don't have self worth and are enabling men to be this way.

[Female Guest]

Right, Such as this woman that, that made us pay for her boyfriend's meal. Right?

[Wes]

Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much like, yeah, they're, they're, women are, are. Women are just as part of the problem as men are. Okay. Because they're, they're allowing this. And I, I get a lot of comments on, well, most of the comments obviously agree with me, but then, then, then there'll be those, you know, those, those Karens that come on and say, well, he doesn't have to pay for this for me. Why should he have to pay for this? Or why? It's just. The answer is, is pretty simple. It's just something that, it's an instinct that just men have. And if you're not a real man, those instincts, you know, you don't, they're not going to belong to you. You're not going to have them. You know what I mean? Like the so called doctor, the scientist, whatever he is, he's going by science and all this. That's because he has no like emotional tie to like being a man. You know what I mean? So his whole life all he's done is study science, science, science. Yeah. But I bet you he's probably never been in a relationship before, you know, Like, I don't care if you're a doctor of 50 years, if you don't have experience in relationships. You don't know.

[Female Guest]

Right.

[Wes]

You know, you don't know how a woman operates because you read some books.

[Female Guest]

No, I think it's more like a lot more to do with human nature because Again, I. People keep talking about money, money, the wallet, the wallet, the wallet. But I've been super rich, and I still wanted my guy to pay for everything. I've been super broke, and I still wanted my man to pay for everything. And now, of course, I pay all my bills. I do pretty well for myself. But if I go on a date, I would have zero respect for a man that sits there and waits for me. If. If I had to pull my wallet, it would be the biggest turnoff on the planet. For me. To be really, really honest, not because I cannot afford it, but I want to date a man. Like you always say, behave like a freaking man, man. Otherwise, why are we dating you? We don't. Right?

[Wes]

For sure. I mean, it doesn't matter how much money you have. I mean, if I. If I'm ever with a woman and she has more money, I mean, first of all, I'd hope never to be in that position. I, you know, that's, that's why I strive to be as successful as possible, because it's not a huge deal breaker for me if a woman has more money, but she needs to understand how to act around me. If she has more money, she needs to understand that she's never to pull out her wallet in front of me or try to pay a bill in front of my friends. That stuff is not gonna fly by me. So I don't care how much money you have. I'm. I'm gonna pay the bill, and there's nothing that you can do about it. If you want to. If you want to throw me, like a little birthday dinner, sometimes there's small occasions, little occasions that I'll allow it,

[Female Guest]

you know, but no, yeah, because like you said, it has nothing to do with, with the, the money, how much money the person has. I. Funny enough, last night I. I saw a story on social media and I thought about you. It was a story about Amal Alamudin. Alamuddin, if I'm pronouncing right. She is one of the top human rights attorneys in the world. Insanely, insanely successful woman. She comes from Lebanon. Very bigger beginnings. She was a refugee of war, etc. Etc. She ended up marrying George Clooney and.

[Wes]

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, I know you're talking about.

[Female Guest]

Sorry. The interesting story is that in the beginning of their relationship, nobody can't. Like, the press was like, oh, George Clooney's girlfriend. George Clooney's girlfriend. Who is the. And then when they started digging and finding out, wow, this woman is insanely Successful. And then he came out and he said, hey, guys, I married up. She's a lot more success. He. He. Maybe he has more money in the bank, but she didn't need his money. But then the end of the story is like that. Although she's very powerful and very rich and she can afford anything she wants. When they got married, he actually said it several times, like, I love being the provider for my family. I love that she does her own thing out there, but I like taking care of her. And I thought it was very interesting because it's two completely different cultures, right? But he still felt like, you know, this woman is powerful and rich and she can buy anything she wants, but I want to be the man that takes care of her and pays for her and does whatever she needs me to do for her. So that's proof, like what you just said, it really has nothing to do with the woman rich or is not. Is the woman not rich?

[Wes]

That's a perfect example of what I would call an ideal relationship. I mean, I think everyone should strive to be, you know, George Clooney and his wife. I don't know how to pronounce her

[Female Guest]

name, but, yeah, I think I'm pronouncing.

[Wes]

Is it Amal?

[Female Guest]

I think it's the first name. Is Amal the last name?

[Wes]

It's Amal. It's Amal. Yeah, I got it. I remember. I think it is.

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Wes]

Yeah. I think everyone should strive to be exactly like them. And I think relationships, I think, are more successful that way. Now, I don't have any facts off the top of my head or any data off the top of my head, but I'm sure if I were to do some research, I'm sure relationships are more successful when a man is in that provider slash leadership role.

[Female Guest]

Yeah, so you mentioned before that, and I agree with you many times, women are guilty. Women are enablers. I've been guilty of that. I dated a dude that. Oh, my God, it's such a crazy story, but I knew this guy my entire life, right? We were childhood friends, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And turned out he was broke, he was a loser, he was in severe debt, and he was a drug addict. He was a freaking drug addict. And I don't even drink alcohol. Like, I. I don't like drugs, never did drugs. At one point, Wes, he was spending around a thousand dollars a week out of my money to buy pot and cocaine, and I was paying for it. So I'm guilty, guilty, guilty. Now, looking back, I'm like, what the Hell were you thinking? You're crazy. But my.

[Wes]

You. You knew that he was doing it.

[Female Guest]

Yeah, okay. Yes. Yeah, he was spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars at the pot stores and complaining that I wasn't giving him enough money. Oh, California has so many pot options.

[Wes]

You know, there's. There's a lot of women that no matter what, they like to take care of the guy. So they have like a soft spot for men that are not in good positions and an ideal positions. And what they do is they almost like to be in a motherly position for that man. I know a lot of women that way, and yes, it gets them in trouble and eventually they snap out of it.

[Female Guest]

But I definitely snapped out of it. I am not a woman that wants to take care of this crazy, you know, boys and, and drug addicts. That's my question to you. Why the women that do that? Why do you think they do that? Are they trying to buy love? Are they trying to buy the affection?

[Wes]

This is something that's more something that you would probably ask a therapist and he would tell you something along the lines of, this is something from childhood, you know, something that they weren't given and they want to give back. And that's probably every single therapist's answer. And I know it's probably not know the answer you might want to hear, but a lot of it, it does come back from, you know, childhood for sure. And again, I know a lot of women that tell me, like, Wes, I don't know how to, you know, not be the way I am. Like, I always go after the bad boys and the guys that, that need something, the guys that are not doing well, the guys that are, are. Are going job to job, and I like to help them. And I'm like, okay, well, I mean, you, you can do that if you want. But eventually, yeah, eventually you're going to have to realize that this is taking so much away from you.

[Female Guest]

Yes, it's a horrible idea. I think like you said, if you're giving a guy money and yeah, there are so many women that do that. Like I said, I'm guilty of it. And I admit, if you're giving a broke guy money, I think you're enabling their behavior.

[Wes]

Yeah. You're not just giving him money, you're giving him a pass every single time. And by giving him a pass every single time, you're doing him a disfavor. Because this man is never going to, you know, be successful. He's just, he's always going to be dependent. And if it's not you. He's going to go through to, you know, to another woman. So you have to start that cycle. You have to cut it off and, you know, hope that, you know, other women do the same and that this man is, you know, on the right track.

[Female Guest]

But, you know, I agree.

[Wes]

There's so many. I swear. It's so funny that you brought up this story because I have a very close friend of mine. She's. She's a girl and she's such a beautiful heart, but she gets caught up in these situations all the time. I'm. She's no longer that way anymore because she finally found a good dude and she got engaged about a few weeks ago and I couldn't even. I couldn't be happier for her. So she's, she's in a good spot now.

[Female Guest]

Look, I think I'm a firm believer the universe teaches you the same lesson over and over and over again until you learn. And I'm really open. Like I said, I made this mistake once and then I started making this mistake again until I finally said, what the hell am I doing? You know, but you need to learn the lesson, right? And I. And you actually did a video that I really liked, that we talked about it the first time you came to the show. If a guy is broke, like, really, really broke, maybe this guy shouldn't be focusing on dating. Maybe this guy shouldn't be focusing on finding out. Maybe you should be focusing on bettering your financial situation, getting your life back on track before you go focus on dating.

[Wes]

Right. Well, how do you have time to even focus on a woman when you're broke? I don't. As a man, you know, there's, there's, there should be zero time for you to focus on any woman, for you to focus on sports, TV for anything. I mean, it's not just women, but you should be focusing on success and then everything follows, you know, I mean, you know, it's. That's the way life works.

[Female Guest]

Yeah, totally. I want to talk about the coffee date. I know you. You live in Michigan, right?

[Wes]

That's correct. Yeah.

[Female Guest]

I don't know if it's a trend, but here in la, it's a huge trend. Like when you're talking to a guy on, on, on dating apps. La la. Most of the guys nowadays, they're like, oh, I'm gonna offer a coffee date as a first date because they believe so many women want to go out with me for a free meal that, you know, I know it's ridiculous. Yeah, I keep saying we can pay for our own meals, but I think it show, it says a lot about the guy's character. If the guy's like, let's go for coffee. Number one, he's probably dating many, many, many women. Like a revolving door of coffee, so he doesn't want to spend on dates. But number two.

[Wes]

Revolving door. Yup.

[Female Guest]

Two, if it starts like that, that he's so much more worried about his wallet and like a plate of pasta or a glass of wine, then he's worried about potentially finding the woman of his life. It's kind of like not the man I want to put my effort towards. I think you need to put more effort than that. What's your take on it or have you heard about this?

[Wes]

I've actually made multiple videos about coffee dates and I've got a lot of mixed reactions about it. Yeah, I, I personally, I would never take a woman out on a coffee date. It's. I just can't do it. It's feels like there's no effort. Okay. Because for me to even get to a point where I'm taking any woman on a date, I have to be interested in her. Okay? That's, that starts off number one, I have to have an interest in her, okay? Whatever it is, whether it's her looks, you know, her brains, you know, her character, whatever it is, I have to have an interest in her. So when a woman has my attention, she, you know, she has my interest now she has my time. And when she has my time, I'm not going to waste it on, on a coffee date. Just not gonna do that. So then I'm gonna take her to dinner. And even if the dinner cost 200, big deal.

[Podcast Host]

So what?

[Female Guest]

Extra plate of food, right? So for the men out there listening, they're like, cool, but I want to know she's not using me. I'm not gonna waste my time. What's your answer to them, those men?

[Wes]

Can't you really, you really can't talk sense to them because again, they're, they move different than guys like me move. You know, they, they, they, they tippy toe, I walk, you know, it's complete, complete diff, Big difference. So it's hard to talk to guys like that because they're all about their pockets. And when you have a mindset and everything is about, you know, your pockets and am I wasting money on this and this? You're already, you're already lost.

[Female Guest]

I agree.

[Wes]

So you're not going to get high value. Women like that tell you that much.

[Female Guest]

It starts on the wrong foot. Right. If, like I said, yeah. Worried more about 50 bucks. 100 bucks. 150 bucks, then, like, is this potentially the woman of my life? I think you're starting, like, completely messed up energy.

[Wes]

Well, you got to set the mood. You got to set the environment if you're looking to get to know a girl. I mean, coffee places are, like, for friends or family. Yeah. It's not. It's not the right setting for. And. And there's a lot of women that don't agree with me, by the way. There's a lot of women that say, oh, well, I like the coffee setting because if I don't like this guy, I can just leave. I'm just thinking in my head, I'm like, well, I mean, you could do the same thing at dinner.

[Female Guest]

True.

[Wes]

You know, what's the difference?

[Female Guest]

I agree. I have left many dinner dates that I'm like, okay, this is just not working out. But, yeah.

[Wes]

And then the girl's like, well, I don't want to put that much energy into getting dress and makeup if it's not going to work out. I'm like, well, the guy is pretty much doing the same thing. He's, you know, putting the time and energy to take you to a nice place. You should do the same thing and see what happens.

[Female Guest]

Yes.

[Wes]

Yes.

[Female Guest]

I'm so happy you're saying that. Now. You did a post that I think is so important, and I hope people let it sink in because this more. And I think that goes for men and women. You talk about men, but I think women, too. You wrote a man in love with you. I think even a man interested in you, a man in love with you, can't stay a day without hearing from you. No man is too busy for the love of his life. Don't be fooled. Now, this morning, I was talking to my guy friend. He was dating a girl. She kind of ghosted him the entire week. And he's like, oh, my God, what should I do? And I said, I think if somebody has no time to text you back, that's a massive answer. Right?

[Wes]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a. It's a red flag. I mean, I. I know the. The busiest and the most successful men are always usually on their phone working, you know, like, like, like myself, for example. So I don't believe that, you know, you don't have time to send a text message or, you know, a quick hello, hey, I'm doing this or I'm doing that. Because the busiest and the most successful men are always, you know, going to be available in that sense. Now we're not going to have our conversations with you usually on we. On. On business days. But, you know, we'll be there, we'll check in, we'll check out, whatever, you know, how you doing? You know, I have. You had lunch, you know, things like that.

[Female Guest]

Now, if somebody's not responding to you, I think it's a horrible idea to go after the person. I think you just need to move on. Do you agree?

[Wes]

I'll tell you, that's the biggest clue for you, that a man is not interested. Okay. I'll be honest with you because there's some men that don't have the courage to say it, but they'll do it with avoidance.

[Female Guest]

Okay.

[Wes]

It's an avoidance method. And a lot of women should know this. Make sure that you clip this part, that if a man ignores you for, you know, hours and days and stuff, this is an avoidance method. So he's trying to push you away without giving it to you. You know what I mean? Without really going hard on you. Yeah.

[Female Guest]

And I think you, you know, if you go after them, it's even worse because they're gonna push away, like, go away even more. Right?

[Wes]

Yeah.

[Female Guest]

If somebody is interested, they are gonna try to lock you in. They're gonna try to make plans with you for sure.

[Wes]

Yeah, yeah, 100%. They'll make sure that you're always, you know, in the know and texting you back and forth again once you start. Look, look, we have intuitions, Women and men both. So when you start feeling a certain way and you're like, something doesn't feel right, you know, this is. It was going from this, and now it's going from this or it's going to this. So you should know, like, your intuition should tell you, like, this guy is pushing me away because I answer this question so easily for you. Because I get a lot of questions like that in my DMs. Pretty easy to answer. Girls will always ask me, hey, this guy hasn't responded to me in a day. I'm like, oh, okay. Then he's. He's avoiding. And a lot of women will be like, you know, he hasn't responded to me in like three days.

[Female Guest]

Wow, that's.

[Wes]

And I'll be like, yeah. I'll be like, well, what.

[Female Guest]

What.

[Wes]

What happened the last day you guys were together? And they'll be like, well, we had sexual intimacy. I said, okay, so you had sexual intimacy. And then three days later, he still hasn't responded to you. Tells you right there he was just out there for that, nothing else. So I'm sorry you got played, but now it's a lesson learned for you.

[Female Guest]

Exactly. I think, look, I think silence speaks more than any message. If somebody doesn't even have the time to respond to you, that's how they feel about you. Move on right now before I let you go, because this one is very interesting. You did a video about it a little while ago and these were not your exact words, but something like that. If a woman wants you to provide for her, buy her gifts, give her a nice lifestyle, she holds you at a very high standard. She thinks you're capable of that. So you should be proud of it, you should be happy instead of complaining. Right. So why do you think guys don't see that? They're like, oh my God, she's a gold digger. Maybe she's not a gold digger. Maybe she thinks you are such a kick ass guy. She's whole. Like she, she wants you to reach your full potential.

[Wes]

Yeah, the big, the biggest turn on for a woman is, is for a man to be able to do things physically, financially, emotionally, things that she can't really do, you know, so there's a lot of things that women will seek for, you know, through men that they can't do. You know, like, I mean, here's a perfect example. Like give me a, like she can't open a jar of pickles, for example, and she gives it to me. Yeah, that. First of all, men love that. I mean, if any woman wants to get their man's testosterone up, do, do one of those. Right before you guys are going to get into it,

[Female Guest]

ask him to do stuff around the house.

[Wes]

Yeah, like, hey, can you move this furniture here? I can't, I can't carry, it's way too heavy for me. Yeah, no problem babe, I got you. So, yeah, women just want to feel like they're with, with a man and not a male.

[Female Guest]

So why so many guys don't see that? Like, why can't, do you think a man can change? Like if they listen to this episode, if they watch your videos, because earlier you said, oh, don't waste your time. But do you think sometimes if, like it sinks in, like the message, behave like a man, date like a real man, not like a boy, be a provider, take care of her. Do you think someone that doesn't agree with us can potentially change their mind?

[Wes]

I do, I do. I, I, I, I definitely think they can. You know, I, I think for example, you know, once A cheater is not always a cheater. Once a gambler is not always a gambler. You know, people can get out of these. These funks usually. And the same way I. I get a lot of times when I'm out just in the city and stuff, and I get a lot of. A lot of guys that'll come up to me and say, hey, I watch your videos all the time and thank you for the message. I started, you know, being the way I am with my girl because of you, and, you know, works great.

[Female Guest]

I appreciate you coming on the show. Before I let you go, one last question. We are recording this show on Friday. I have this rule of thumb. If someone didn't make plans with you, like, by Wednesday, don't say yes. Because if somebody calls you on phone Friday, like, hey, what are you doing? Do I personally think you are not this guy's priority? I think you are a backup plan. Do you agree with that, as a man?

[Wes]

I wholeheartedly agree to that. Yes, I do. I do.

[Female Guest]

I think.

[Wes]

I think I agree with a lot of the things that you say, and I think I. I think you agree with a lot of the things that I said.

[Female Guest]

Yes. So you. That's how guys think. Right. If they really like you, they're gonna lock you in way better before Friday. They're not gonna call you last minute on a Friday, on a Saturday, correct?

[Wes]

100%. Yeah. They'll give you, you know, three business days at least.

[Female Guest]

If they call you on Friday to go out Friday night, it's more likely it's just a booty call. Correct.

[Wes]

It's a booty call. Or last resort.

[Female Guest]

Last resort. Even worse.

[Wes]

Y. Yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah. You got to be careful.

[Female Guest]

Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming back to the show. Guys, I'm gonna put the link to his Instagram here on this episode because your videos are fantastic. Congratulations and please keep giving everybody out there great advice, and I hope more men listen to you.

[Wes]

Thank you. Thank you. I will. I will for sure. Always good to see you.

[Female Guest]

Great to see you too. Have a great weekend. Thank you, Wes. Guys, be safe out there and don't accept dates last minute on a Friday. You deserve better.

[Wes]

We'll see you. Have a nice day.

[Podcast Host]

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