Podcast Summary: Kat on the Loose — "Divorce Like a Boss with Diana Romanov"

Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Diana Romanov (Divorce Attorney, Author, YouTuber)
Date: December 3, 2025

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode features Kat Zammuto in conversation with top Bay Area divorce attorney Diana Romanov. The discussion is candid, practical, and centers on how women can empower themselves through the divorce process—whether that means protecting their rights, avoiding traps, preparing for marriage, or bouncing back stronger. Romanov dispenses expert legal advice, real-life stories, and actionable tips, all with an emphasis on self-education and strategic decision-making before, during, and after marriage.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Is the Court System Fair to Women in Divorce?

• Case-by-Case Analysis:
  Diana explains that fairness depends on the specific court and judge. She actively investigates a judge's history and, if biased, files a motion to disqualify (170.6 motion).

  "If I have a feeling that I'm representing a woman and a judge has a history of certain situations where the judge is not treating women correctly, then I file a so-called 170.6 motion..." (Diana, 01:46)

• Real-Life Example:
  She shares a case during COVID where a judge reversed a favorable Montessori school ruling for her client and refused to hear her arguments, causing significant setbacks (03:36).

The Importance of Choosing the Right Attorney

• Avoid Cheap, Flat-Fee Attorneys:
  Diana warns against lawyers who offer too-good-to-be-true rates, as they often underdeliver, leaving clients with messier situations that cost more to fix (05:19).
• Seek Ongoing Strategic Advice:
  If funds are limited, educate yourself and consult with an expert as needed. Diana offers half-hour or hourly consultations for clients doing most of their filings themselves, supplementing self-help with professional strategy (08:04–09:24).

Free and Affordable Resources for Divorce Empowerment

• Books and YouTube Channel:
  Diana has authored Divorce Like a Boss (available in four formats on Amazon) and maintains a YouTube channel with 500+ videos addressing common issues, from custody to spousal support—resources for those unable to afford full legal services (07:46–08:04).
• Strategy Example:
  A client handled her divorce filings herself with periodic strategic check-ins with Diana, illustrating that empowerment is possible through education (08:04–09:24).

  "If you want to go to war, you have to have the bullets. And if you don't have the bullets, you gotta study." (Diana, 07:29)

Dealing with Spouses Claiming Disability/Financial Need

• Fraudulent Claims and Evidence:
  Many cases involve healthy spouses claiming disability to avoid working and demand support. Diana explains how to counter this with evidence (e.g., showing videos) and hiring vocational or medical evaluators to assess the legitimacy of such claims (11:37–13:33).

  "Credibility is everything in family court." (Diana, 13:33)

• Attorneys’ Reluctance to Use Evidence:
  Some attorneys may avoid confrontation due to costs or a preference for settlement, not wanting to escalate to contentious trials (14:03–14:58).

Detecting Red Flags Early and Avoiding “Deadbeat” Situations

• Red Flags & Relationship Dynamics:
  Diana’s second book details how to spot warning signs before marriage or cohabitation, urging early action if a partner refuses to contribute (16:46–17:17).

  "The red flag starts from the beginning." (Diana, 16:46)

• Cohabitation and Legal Risks:
  Generally, unmarried couples have little legal protection unless specific oral promises and conditions (Marvin Cases) are met, which are rare and hard to win (18:18–20:46).

Prenups: Protection or Insult?

• Why a Prenup is Smart for Everyone:
  Kat and Diana discuss why prenups aren’t just for the rich—a mature, adult approach treats the marriage as a partnership with clear expectations. Prenups can ensure fair outcomes and codify California law or tailor details about properties and spousal support (21:29–24:31).

  "Marriage is a contract with a lot of legal ramifications." (Kat, 21:31)

• Prenup Offense:
  Diana urges women to clarify what about the prenup offends them, suggesting the conversation can ensure both sides have protection, not just the wealthier partner (24:44–25:52).
• Women and Prenups:
  Women (including entrepreneurs) should not apologize for wanting a prenup—marriage is a business partnership too (35:11–36:27).

  "I would say getting married is also getting into a business partnership. And that requires full disclosure." (Diana, 35:22)

Relationship Planning for Success

• Have the Hard Conversations Early:
  Spouses should discuss values, expectations for children, religion, finances, and conflict resolution styles before marriage.

  "Create a questionnaire, a hundred questions that are deal breakers in a relationship..." (Diana, 26:43)

• Don’t Rush for Butterflies:
  Rushing into marriage based on infatuation alone is a common recipe for later trouble (28:05).

Financial Transparency and Protection

• Due Diligence Before Marriage:
  It's not only acceptable but necessary to ask to see tax returns and bank statements before marriage. Debt and financial issues become shared concerns post-marriage, even with a prenup (32:11–34:19).

  "It’s delicate when. When it’s none of my business, but the moment I marry this person, it becomes my business because a third party can also go after wife." (Diana, 33:26)

Long-Term Marriage Legalities (10+ Years)

• Duration Matters:
  In California, a marriage lasting 10 years or more is considered long-term, affecting spousal support obligations. Many clients try to divorce before the 10-year mark to avoid indefinite support obligations (36:56–38:03).

  "From the date of marriage until the date of separation... If from that point on marriage separation more than 10 years, the court says long term marriage..." (Diana, 36:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Picking Attorneys:

  "In family cases, I would avoid flat rates because what happens is once the attorney receives the money, they do some work, but there is no more human incentive to go and fight for three years if the ex turns out to be very difficult." (Diana, 05:19)

• Empowering Women:

  "If you want to go to war, you have to have the bullets. And if you don’t have the bullets, then you gotta study." (Diana, 07:29)

• On Relationship Red Flags:

  "The red flag starts from the beginning, you know?... Sometimes I have phone calls like, he's not working for 20 years and now he wants spousal support. I'm like, why didn't you divorce him after year number one?" (Diana, 16:46; 17:07)

• On Prenups:

  "Prenup doesn’t need to exclude one spouse... It’s a good starting point for mature adulting and having financial conversations." (Diana, 21:42)

• On Financial Transparency:

  "I would like to see his tax returns and really all of his bank accounts, current statements." (Diana, 32:11)

• On Divorce Outcomes:

  "Credibility is everything in family court." (Diana, 13:33)

• On Women Protecting Their Assets:

  "I would say getting married is also getting into a business partnership. And that requires full disclosure... I would definitely be very open, unapologetic about the fact that we need to talk about money." (Diana, 35:22–36:27)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:22 – Is the court system fair to women? Diana's experience and strategies
• 05:19 – Why hiring the right lawyer matters so much
• 07:29 – Tips for women who can't afford good attorneys + her book and YouTube channel
• 11:37 – Stories of “disabled” husbands demanding support
• 13:58 – Explaining why some attorneys avoid presenting hard evidence
• 16:46 – How to spot red flags before it's too late
• 18:18 – Legal standing for unmarried cohabitation (“Marvin Cases”)
• 21:29 – Why prenups matter and how to talk about them maturely
• 26:43 – Top questions to ask and discuss before marrying
• 32:11 – Financial transparency: tax returns, debts, and why it matters
• 36:56 – The legal significance of a 10-year marriage in California

Conclusion

Diana Romanov’s practical wisdom boils down to self-education, strategic planning, and never apologizing for protecting yourself—whether through prenups, due diligence before marriage, or effectively navigating the court system during divorce. Resources like her Divorce Like a Boss book and YouTube channel are invaluable for every woman, regardless of means. The episode is a masterclass in empowerment, legal savvy, and real talk for anyone considering marriage, in the process of divorce, or wanting to avoid common relationship pitfalls.

Links Mentioned

• Diana Romanov’s Book: Divorce Like a Boss (Amazon)
• Diana Romanov’s YouTube Channel (link provided in podcast episode notes)

“The more educated we are, the better we can protect ourselves.”
— Kat Zammuto (09:24)