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- [00:02]
A
Doctor Forbes, welcome to Cat on the Loose. It's such an honor having you here.
- [00:06]
B
Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
- [00:08]
A
I have to say, I'm a huge fan of your posts, of your energy. You are so inspiring to me. So, I mean, I have a million questions I want to ask you. If you're ready, let's rock and roll.
- [00:19]
B
Like I said, born ready. Yeah. Okay.
- [00:21]
A
I love that born ready. So I want to start with the tough one. I get messages from women from all over the world because they see my work and I'm nowhere near as successful as you are. And a lot of women say, oh, but I don't have the motivation or I don't think I have the skills, or I feel stuck. And many times I don't know how to tell them, like, how do you get out of a rut? Do you think there is something we can say that motivates or helps somebody who's feeling stuck? Or is this something you're just born with?
- [00:52]
B
No, it's absolutely not something you're born with at all. I'm going to share with you. That's the problem. You're born with something. I often say, if you've got parents, there's a problem, and I'm not joking. A lot of the reason that you're stuck or feeling insecure is for something that happened in your past. And if you don't clean that out, it's like having a stuffed closet. You can't add any new clothes. Everything else is wrinkled. You cannot write your future from a really bad past. So I asked those women or men to look back and go, okay, what's the one thing do you remember in high school or in middle school, or you, you were bullied by somebody or your mom said something, or your household growing up, your mom and dad were arguing. I promise, you're carrying baggage into the future, and it's not serving you like on an airplane. They make you leave the baggage at home. You can only take two little bags with you. I highly suggest if you're feeling stuck, that it's not about you. Find one thing to clean up. One. Insecurity. Deal with it and move on.
- [01:42]
A
I love that. So let's talk about insecurity. Obviously, you're super confident. Seems like you've always been this confident ever since the beginning of your career. But a lot of were you.
- [01:54]
B
No, no, no. Okay, wait, let's. Right there. See all this? I made this.
- [02:00]
A
This little girl.
- [02:01]
B
Now, I'm not joking, guys. I know this because I live it every single day. And if you come to my Sunday class, you'll see pictures of this. But I was born to Ukrainian immigrant parents who had their own issues. My mother was a bit of a hoarder. She was very much overweight. My dad was very insecure. He was a magician and an inventor and completely antisocial. And I can remember a couple of things. My first memory is finding my grandmother dead in my bedroom. We shared a bedro my mom. I was 4 years old. My mom had a new little baby, my sister. And she walked in and she just lost her father. And now she's lost her mother. And my mother was never happy again. And so most of my life, I worked really hard to make this woman happy. And I was only as good as my next achievement. And that was a really long period of time. I'm a huge fan of personal development. Then I go to elementary school, and my teeth are in all different directions. I was sucking my thumb, and I had a jaw issue. And so they slapped me in braces. I'm a little kid. I had a full set of braces. Did you have braces, Kat?
- [02:55]
A
Yes.
- [02:56]
B
How long?
- [02:56]
A
Yes, I think maybe two years. I don't remember because I was so young. And they went right back to where they were before. Like this.
- [03:04]
B
How about having them? Not for two years, not for four years, not for six years, but eight years. My entire childhood, I had silver. I never smiled. And then they stuck this thing in my mouth because a tongue crusher. And so for two years of my life, I can't talk. Nobody wants to be my friend. I had no friends. My friends were the people on television that I grew up with. From the Adams family to the Brady Bunch, the Partridge Family. That's who my friends were. And I did a lot of schoolwork. I was very smart, yet I was also very lonely. I was so smart, I skipped year high school, and in college. I did college with two degrees in three years. I didn't have social life because I was so freaking insecure about everything. I was also overweight. My mother loved to feed us, and people just would make fun of me all the time. My thighs rubbed, and I had chubby cheeks. And then I decided I wanted to be an actress. And get this. I mean, I literally asked to get rejected every single day. That's what you do when you audition as an actress and you get rejected because you're too tall, too short, too. But then I would get work. I worked on Broadway. I worked on soap operas. One of my soap operas as another World. And as the world Turns, I'm a coffee cup, right? Is there anything wrong with this coffee cup? No, no. It looks like a perfect coffee cup until you. Until standing next to a pen. And now the coffee cup looks fat. That was me. I was about 25, 30 pounds overweight. By myself, I was fine. But you stand me next to Meg Ryan and Julianne Moore, and I'm like, they sent me on diet program. They sent me to overeaters. They made me feel so insecure and hated my body. Then getting molested a couple of times as I grew up. So the chick that you're seeing now, I'm turning 66 years old. This.
- [04:40]
A
It's impressive. It's incredible. You're in fabulous shape. You look amazing. And I definitely want to talk about the ageism as well, but how did. Because like you said, you've been through hell and high water. Really tough childhood. We have a lot of similarities because, yeah, I come from a background. My mom was an alcoholic.
- [04:56]
B
Okay.
- [04:57]
A
I come from a really tough background. And I was kind of. Kind of like you. I was like a loner, great student, and I just build up my confidence on my own, I guess, you know. But how did you become this Persona that you are now number one?
- [05:15]
B
I always believed that I was special, by the way, we all have the right to believe that we're special. Yeah, that's a really important thing to understand. And then I did personal development. I went to some. And that's why I teach now. I went to seminars. I didn't even know seminars were a thing until I was 31 years old and I went kicking and screaming to my first one. And in fact, I didn't want to go so much that my friend gave me the money because I'm like, I can't afford that. It was like 500 bucks. It's like, oh, I'll pay for you to go. And I'm like, and by the way, here's how insecure I was. He was kind of not really a friend. And he said to me, look, you really should go to this. I'm like, screw you. I don't need this. He's, look, none of my friends like you. And I'm like, I don't. I was so driven and not a nice person, but I didn't know that inside. I've always been a really nice person, but I was really. I didn't have any social skills. And so he says, I'll pay you. I'll pay for you to go. And I immediately Cat thought this man must want to sleep with me because that's the only thing I had to trade and he didn't, which I thought was like. Then I thought, well, what's wrong with me that you don't want to sleep with me? I'm like, okay. And in that personal training, and you can find this in a lot of different places. I teach one, but so do other people. We cried about our parents, we cried about our insecurities. We looked at who we were. And that mirror at 32 is my beginning to see who I could become. I don't think I would be here without that. And I've been doing personal development ever since you've got there. There's key, there's there, there are. I mean, what's great is they're available to all of us from online to in person. But go to an in person one where they make you cry and make you smack a pillow and just get all that anger out and then you'll find a part of you that you didn't even really know existed.
- [06:55]
A
I love that. I've never been in an in person one, but I think this is fantastic advice. And another thing that I always say is that whatever happened in our past doesn't have to define our goals in the present and the future. We can always change the narrative of that. And you're living proof of it, and so am I. Right?
- [07:14]
B
We can change it. I'm impressed that you've never been to one in person. No, because I deal with this a lot. You think you can change it on your own? I'm going to tell you without somebody kicking your butt. It's very uncomfortable to go revisit some of these things.
- [07:28]
A
Yeah.
- [07:28]
B
Somebody who molested you or hurt you, you don't want to even visit that. And what happens is your brain creates rooms so you don't have to see those things. But it, like a little fungus, it eats away at you and yourself with these behaviors, you're choosing narcissistic partners. You're making the same mistakes. You're overeating and you're like, but I'm happy. No, you're not. You're living your past in your future and it's killing you. Yeah.
- [07:50]
A
No, you're. You're so right. It's really tough to change patterns. And like I said, I get messages from women from all over the world and they ask me because I left a 15 year, a very abusive marriage. That's how my show started. The show gave me voice and I started sharing my story. And now I'm on a mission because I want to help as many women out there to go after their dreams. And. And I'm living proof that you can start your life. I'm in my 50s. I started my life over six years ago in my late 40s. So I am living proof that you can always reinvent yourself and start over. But I'm not an expert and I'm not a coach. So I'm not sure how I encourage them, you know, because when we say, yes, you can do it, you can do it, they're like, but how? How? What's the first step?
- [08:35]
B
Like? I have a challenge for you. I know you have a very nice sized audience. Here's what we should do. Because I do this online. Let's create a little mini event.
- [08:44]
A
Yeah.
- [08:44]
B
I'm going to share with you this. And you can say to you, I'm. We'll do it. Let's put 30 to 50 people in a room, women. And we will do this on a Saturday or a Sunday, whenever we can fit this in and say, you know what, guys? Come to this. We'll come up with something very equitable and say, let's go on a journey with Forbes and you, a healing journey and experiment. I promise you, you're going to see something you maybe have never experienced before. I do this once a month with my entire crew of people. I have hundreds of people who go through this. But. And I think once you experience it once with people.
- [09:16]
A
Yeah.
- [09:16]
B
You're gonna go, wow, this is available to them. Right? This is just.
- [09:21]
A
I would love that.
- [09:22]
B
Yeah. I got a great idea for you.
- [09:24]
A
Yeah.
- [09:25]
B
What I love doing. This is how we create businesses. I love seeing white spaces. If you have that many people who are hurting and you've never done it, oh, girl, we're gonna have some fun. Yeah.
- [09:33]
A
We can use your help. That. Let's do this. Let's do this. Now we're gonna call it.
- [09:36]
B
We're gonna call it Cat and Forbes. Really on the loose. I.
- [09:40]
A
And I'm telling you, I know there are a lot of women out there.
- [09:42]
B
I know.
- [09:42]
A
Mention. But we're talking to him. There are a lot of women out there listening right now that could use the help. And. And I. I'm totally game to doing this. That sounds fantastic.
- [09:50]
B
And I will tell you, I work with men and women, but when you put women only in a room.
- [09:55]
A
Yeah.
- [09:56]
B
And feel much safer.
- [09:58]
A
Yeah.
- [09:58]
B
And I am happy to do women only. Can I share with you? I'm gonna have you meet one of my girls. Her name is Sandy. And she came to me, she's 64 years old. And she said in a private meeting, said, I've never been kissed. And I'm like, what? She had been physically raped by 12 men when she was 10 years old in a rich. In the stupid Epstein that you hear in a neighbor's house. And she shut down, just could never came to me and said, forbes, can you heal me? And I did. And I'd love to have you meet Sandy because we call it our breakthrough. She is on fire. She now speaks. She helps heal other people. She deals with suicide prevention in high schools, and she can function now. And when she turned to me, finally, and by the way, you do this in one day. This is not, it's not therapy. And she said to me, I'm finally in my life. I not only want to be kissed, but I want to be married like you.
- [10:50]
A
Oh, I freaking love that. I, I believe people can change. And like, I think, and I always say that, and you probably agree with me, I think we're way stronger and way more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.
- [11:06]
B
100.
- [11:07]
A
Right. Because many times women like, oh, I can't do this, I can't do that. If I leave my husband, what am I gonna. But I think when, you know, push comes to shove, most people, especially women, we are so much stronger than we actually think we are.
- [11:21]
B
Oh, I know that to be true. You know, and Cat, that's a whole other conversation that we just could have about women. We're looking at portions of the world. Where do you come from originally? Where's your accent?
- [11:31]
A
Brazilian.
- [11:33]
B
In Brazil, there's a whole culture of men out there, around the world that think women should be silenced, should be covered, not seen, not heard. I just heard of a young woman whose hair was sticking out from her outfit and she was beaten to death. I read another one who was executed because she was raped. There's a real problem of women supporting women globally to be strong, amazing human beings. We are. We are way stronger. I pushed out two 7 pound babies at 42. We are amazing. We're designed to be amazing. And we're freaking smart. And I think we scare men, which is why they want to silence us.
- [12:08]
A
I agree. That's one question that I was gonna ask you. And I know it's a very controversial question, but it's my opinion, and you can tell me if you agree with me or not. I actually think most men, and I know there are a lot of exceptions, but most men feel very intimidated by strong, successful, intelligent Women and many of these men, this is why they try to suppress you, dominate you, control you. Because the truth is they feel super intimidated by it. I know a lot of people don't agree with me, but that's how I feel.
- [12:41]
B
Here's the beautiful part. Want to see something? Watch this. Oh my God. I don't believe in gravity. It works anyway. People don't have to believe in you. You have to believe in you. And I, I'm raising my daughter. I have twins, 23 years old, boy and a girl. My daughter is 23 years old. She is the CEO of a multi million dollar company that represents me.
- [13:01]
A
Wow.
- [13:02]
B
And I watch people, we talk about ageism in reverse. Nobody thinks that she'll walk into a room and everyone goes, oh, you must be Forbes's daughter. And she's like, yeah, like I made my first million at 18, I owned a couple of homes and yeah, she works for me.
- [13:15]
A
Wow.
- [13:15]
B
My daughter. So it's been interesting to watch ageism on that side and how I've coached her to handle that. And also I, I will tell you one of the webinar, one of the trainings that I was a part of years ago. Let me see something that even I had not realized. The difference between male and female energy. And so when you talk about men are intimidated. Here's the thing about women. We are by nature feminine, but. But we, you and I both have a very strong male energy, right? And then there are some men who have a very strong female energy. And you can feel that. Well, there's a way to dance with each other. Women don't get to be tough and win with men who are tough. We have to be smart and strategic because they're not changing. But we have the ability to make it work for us. And when I learned what that was, in fact, I lost my first marriage, I think, because of this. My ex was a 6 foot 6 strong alpha male. But we had, we lost a kid who was murdered. And I have these two baby twins. And he stayed home with the twins while I worked. I would come home and I was, I slayed the dragon. I did this and I did that. And he was like, great, dinner's ready. The babies, wash them and, you know, play with the kids. And I said, well, honey, let's go to bed. And he's like, I got laundry. And I'm like, I lost all respect. Then I would come home in my masculine and he would be in his masculine. And man, we would fight. Here's what I never did though. And I want everyone to hear this. I never chose, and I didn't know this was an option, to come home as the woman, to come home in my feminine energy and go, hey, honey, did you have a tough day? What can I do for you? How can I make you. I never thought to do that. And I will tell you that my current husband, who is physically a bodybuilder, he's very strong and very.
- [14:57]
A
I saw on your social media, you guys are a beautiful couple. Really beautiful couple. I love that.
- [15:03]
B
He said the smartest thing to me. He said, when you come home and you walk through that door, you leave that powerhouse Forbes Riley outside, you come home as my baby.
- [15:12]
A
Yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah. I think that's what most successful women want. When we are home, we want to be able to be in our feminine energy and let go and. And just have this two different. And I think you can be both, Right? I mean, you're living proof we are, we are both.
- [15:30]
B
But one of the things is no one taught us.
- [15:32]
A
Yeah.
- [15:33]
B
I think women have to be smarter because. And I noticed this, I go to negotiations all the time and I don't, you know, this funny, it's a very famous male guy who does a books on negotiation. By the way, I've got my book on pitching. I can't wait to share with you. But I maybe should do a book on female negotiation because let's assume the guy never changes. That's who they are. If we come in like this, we don't win. If we come in like this, we intimidate them. But if we come in like this, do a little feminine, a little this, you know, do you have to change who you are a little bit? Yeah, it's called being a woman. You get to be strong. But if they can't feel them being male, they won't want to work with you. And that's where the intimidation factor comes in. So I think if we get smarter and understand who we are energetically. Because if you come into feminine, they'll step all over you.
- [16:19]
A
Yes. Yes, that. It's so interesting that you said that because it has happened to me a million times. I feel if a lot of guys, because I own a pr, marketing and branding agency, right. And a lot of my clients or potential clients, if they realize that I'm super intelligent or I know something more than they do, they kind of get defensive and mad. Like they want to work with me, but they want to feel that they know more than me. But if I start talking, obviously I Know my business really well. But if they realize that I know more than they do, sometimes they don't want to work with me, or they get, like, a little aggressive, you know? It's so funny.
- [17:01]
B
I coach executive women like you all the time, and it really sucks that you're pretty and you're blonde. How could you be smart, too?
- [17:08]
A
Yeah, well, most of them think I'm the famous dumb blonde. Right? It's the stereotype. And then I open my mouth and
- [17:14]
B
they're like, huh, Right. So what's interesting for you where a coach becomes helpful is for you to kind of go, okay, if I want this client and I really would enjoy working with them, I have to navigate how to make them. And you know that you can feel it. But us women will be like, screw you. I don't need to do that. And you won't work with them. I have a lot of friends who wonder why they're not successful, but they are powerful. Like, yeah, it's because being a woman is complicated.
- [17:41]
A
It's so complicated. I need to jump on your. On your webinar that you're going to do on Sunday. I'm dying to listen. I need to learn more. We all can use help. I want to ask about aging, because I know this is very, very controversial. Another message that I get all the time. Women complaining, literally complain. Oh, I'm in my 40s. If I leave my husband, how I'm gonna start over? Oh, the other day, this girl sent me a message. I'm 38. Is it too late for me to start over? What am I gonna do? I know, exactly. I wish you guys saw her face. I have the same reaction.
- [18:14]
B
I was 57, by the way, because,
- [18:16]
A
listen, I am going to four in a few days, March. By the time this episode airs, I'm gonna be 54. And. And I'm living my best life. And like I said, For 15 years, I could barely work. I was in a crazy, controlling, very abusive marriage. And I left with nothing. Penniless, jobless, no income, no nothing. And I started my life over. So. And I'm living my best life now. I'm doing everything I love. I feel great. I feel amazing. I feel fabulous. I. So I think I don't like the aging.
- [18:49]
B
Age.
- [18:49]
A
Age. I think the right age is right now. I don't think it's ever too late to start anything or change your life or change whatever you want to do. Do you agree with me? And what do you say to women that think like that?
- [19:04]
B
I had my twins at 42, I am right now currently 65. Next month I turn 66, which is hard to believe. By the way parentheses the best revenge. So I don't care what age you are, what age do you look? Now that is a really interesting thing. So two years ago, I was in a really bad car accident and I was kind of chunky. I was 33% body fat. I was 30 pounds heavier than I am now. And after I came out of that accident, I decided to enter bodybuilding competition. It's a crazy story because I had 99 days, three months to lose. I lost 15% body fat and 35 pounds. I was pregnant. I was also had some PTSD and I made a movie about it, got on stage in a bikini, which I have not owned since I was 15 years old. Great story, but. So here's what I'm gonna say to women. First of all, knock it off with the number. The number is irrelevant. I've got 20 year olds who seem older than me because they just can't complain. You want to do a couple of things as a woman. As a woman, you have to look good or you don't get to compete. I agree. And that means that you have to go get the facial, you have to get the hair done, you have to go lift some weights because you want some muscle on your body. If you let yourself go, you will be unattractive to everybody. And you need to look in the mirror and go, is this attractive to me? Not. I'm doing it for someone else. For me, looking young is really important. And so I have done. There's a little Botox here. There's a little. You know why? I don't enjoy looking at the wrinkles. And I would like to continue. And my body now looks way better than it did. And I'm loving this. But I've been doing this kind of maintenance since I was in my late 30s. I would go to saunas, I would go get massages. I was in Pilates class. I invested in skin care lines. You guys, you are as old as you look and then you're as old as you feel, which is kind of an interesting thing. So if you're comfortable, I just. God. Do you remember the Thornbirds? It is a tv. It's an American TV series on decades ago. The lead actress, Rachel Ward was the cutest thing ever. And she has decided to do no work on her face whatsoever. And she looks very wrinkly and very old. And she also looks very comfortable with that. For me, I couldn't look at that I personally just look at that and I get a little. I don't know why. So you have to decide. There is no age that's too old. In fact, my best friend Elaine Lalanne is turning 99. No, I'm sorry. She's turning 100 on March 15th. 100.
- [21:36]
A
Oh, my God.
- [21:37]
B
And she still lives on her own. She walks, she eats, she cooks, she does everything. She's a little problem with her eyes, but she's 100.
- [21:44]
A
That's fantastic.
- [21:45]
B
You have to, you have to decide what's most important about your energy level. I'm going to tell you, I'm. I just invested in a company about Peptides because I think there is something about. You can keep your youth. Youth is an attitude, youth is a look. And you have to decide about going gray or not. That's another thing. I don't know if you're gray or not, but I got to tell you, I don't look so good gray. Some women look.
- [22:10]
A
I have some gray hairs for sure. But I agree. I think the way we look affects the way the world treats us. And I always say that. And I get a lot of backlash because I talk about that on social media, because that's how I started rebuilding my life. When I saw myself jobless, broke, penniless, and I moved back to Beverly Hills because my mentality was, I want to be around people that are way more successful than me, richer than me, have more than me. I want to be around those people so I can put my life back there. And the way you look changes the way people treat you. If you look great, automatically more doors open for you. Automatically people want to talk to you. And it's just the way the game is, right? If you disqualify yourself, like you said, if you let yourself go or don't color your hair or you're all wrinkled up or, you know, you're overweight, I think it affects the, the outcome of, of everything else you do.
- [23:07]
B
Here's the thing. I can't change human psychology. And humans are designed to be attracted to each other, to procreate. If you go back way, way ago. And so there's a group of women and one guy, and how who does he pro. You know, that's why women wear a little catty. We get all the little craziness about us because that's innately how we're designed. But now you move that into the 21st century and some people take it too far. I mean, I'm looking at some of the actresses who are too Serious skinny or the actresses or two, whatever. And our role models affect a lot. I mean, I just walked into Target the other day. Now remember, I grew up in a time where if you were not skinny, you didn't work. And we were hungry all the time. And now there's fluffy mannequins. And I'm like, huh, I wonder what we're telling young people. Because diabetes is a thing. Sugar consumption is a thing. So being fit, happy and healthy and energetic that people will be attracted to you. If you're a slug and you don't like how you look and you, you come into a room, you suck the energy out. Nobody wants to hang out with you. I don't care what age you are.
- [24:08]
A
I agree with you 1 million percent. I think it's all about energy. I always say that. And I don't think energy has anything to do with the age in your birth certificate. Like you said, you can be 100 and have massive energy and you can be. I've met 20 year olds that, that look like they're. Now can you give us. Because obviously the queen of pitching. You're a fantastic salesperson. Do you pitch Secrets A to Z is your book. I'm dying to read the book now.
- [24:38]
B
Next month on my birthday.
- [24:40]
A
When is your birthday? Your birthday is April, right?
- [24:42]
B
25th.
- [24:43]
A
I'm a 25th Taurus. Very strong personality. I love Taurus. I want to read this book. I can't wait. But. Because I was looking at your Instagram post and I learned so much from it, including some words. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I've been learning from you to get better. By the way, I do have a degree in communications, but from doing the podcast I realized I used to say one of these words that you're like, there are certain words people should never say and I agree with you. And one of them is the famous like, like, like. But you know, like, like, like. Once I saw that you did a post about that, I'm like, catherine, smack me. Like, stop saying like. It makes you. It may like, like. And now I'm being very careful. I still say it, but I'm learning. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Why those words are so important to avoid and why they affect so much the way we communicate.
- [25:39]
B
Any filler words don't make sense when you really listen to them. So I grew up doing television and on television every second counts. If you're doing a 30 second commercial, 1 second, 1, 1 ah, is one is really dangerous. And then there's this thing that people Are not listening to what they say. When I talk about pitching, pitching is getting a yes from someone else. So it's not you talking about all that you do. I want you to give me a yeah. So if I'm like, oh, okay. You know, my pet peeve is, you know, I go nuts. And when I hear it a lot, because I do a lot of podcasts, a lot of interviews. Well, basically, like, you know, so basically, like, you know, and the word actually. And I'll hear people go, well, so, you know, like, I was doing this and, you know, and I'm like, no, I don't freaking know. Knock it off. And then I pointed out to people and they're like, oh, did I say, you know? Did I say like? And my response is, are you not listening to what you're saying? I can tell you every word that I'm saying. So. And then the other one is the so. Oh, my God. This is another thing. Everyone likes to start there. I know you interview a lot of people. When you ask them a question, they start with, so that's not the beginning of a sentence. I also spent. And I don't know how much of this you did, but I've been in acting class my entire life as a kid, you know, all the way up to my 30s, where we learned to listen. I took a class for a year on how to listen. Let me play a game with you. This is really important. Here's what's crazy. The words don't really matter as much as you think. So let's say you get a script, okay? And the script. Script is pass me the pen. And the answer is, oh, I love pens. So I'm going to say. So say. Say what? Say, pass me the pen.
- [27:17]
A
Pass me the pen.
- [27:19]
B
I love pens. What did I really just say to you?
- [27:26]
A
You said that you love pens with a passion.
- [27:28]
B
I said that you're adorable. I said you're adorable. Now ask me again.
- [27:32]
A
Pass me the pen. I love pens.
- [27:36]
B
What did I say to you?
- [27:38]
A
That I'm annoying you?
- [27:40]
B
Yes.
- [27:40]
A
A little aggressive. Yeah.
- [27:41]
B
Yes. But I use the same dialogue. I learned this from movies. So all of a sudden, when you have to learn to listen to what people are saying and the words they're using, you realize that most people communicate terribly.
- [27:53]
A
Oh, my God. I agree. Listen, I coach new podcasters worldwide because I say most podcasters don't know how to be a good interviewer because the person answer as answers a question, they go like. They go like, interesting.
- [28:10]
B
Ah, Yeah.
- [28:12]
A
I don't know if that ever happened. And I'm like, you gotta keep the conversation flowing. Get ready, get prepared. But you gotta, in order to make a successful conversation right, you gotta keep, keep the conversation flowing.
- [28:24]
B
Worst podcast mistake that you can make is to read all of your questions in order. You're not listening to what the person's saying. If you don't have a good follow up question, you are not paying attention. Yeah.
- [28:37]
A
Or you do it like me. Like, I don't even have the questions written now. I just, they just come off the top of my head. But I know that's a lot harder.
- [28:44]
B
There's a good healthy balance, I think.
- [28:46]
A
Yeah.
- [28:46]
B
I watched someone the other day, I was at a big event speaking at the Tampa Bay Stadium where they have the super bowl. And the local congresswoman got up and she put her paper down on the podium and said, hi, my name is Margaret Sampson and I'm here today as your rep. I'm like, did you not know your name? Hi, I'm Mark. How could you do that?
- [29:06]
A
Oh, my God. Now another one that you said that I thought was funny, you said, and I agree. And I'm gonna tell you why. We said, people need to stop saying, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. And I had a guy on my show a while ago, you're gonna, you're gonna explain to us why you don't like that. But I want to tell you this really quickly today. So funny. And he was this really famous coach Lala, and he said, you know, it's okay, everybody's trying as, as well. And I said, no, I don't think most people are even trying as hard as they should. And I don't think you should. I said the same thing years ago. So that's why I thought, I don't think you should keep saying, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. If you're trying, maybe you're not trying, Right? Or like Maya Angelou said, try as hard as you can, and when you get there, try harder, do better. But why did you.
- [29:58]
B
That's what Yoda said from Star Wars. There is only do.
- [30:02]
A
Yeah, but why do you think, what do you say to people that, that use that, that, those words all the time.
- [30:07]
B
I'm a huge fan of the psychology and the way that your brain works and the way that your brain talks to your mouth and it talks to your ears and the other person's. So when you say you're trying, you're giving yourself an out. Here's the thing. You Come to me all the time. People like, I tried. I'm like, no, you freaking failed. Own that. You failed. And learn the lesson. This trying is. It means I attempted it. I didn't give it my all. And I have it out because I tried. I'm not interested. I'm so not interested in that. Or I've been trying to launch this. You either did or you didn't. And there is an intensity and a specificity to when you're a winner. You know what it takes. You know the input you have. I don't try to do anything. I either do it, don't do it, or fail at it. There's all those three choices. None of them have that word. And it's an out. It's an out. Because we as a culture, certainly here in America, I don't know if it's. Around the world, started giving out participation awards. Well, they tried. They didn't win, but they tried. No, they lost. They don't get a. They don't get a trophy for losing. You get lessons for losing. You didn't train hard enough. Your psychology wasn't there. The teamwork was shoddy. And if you never learn those lessons, you don't really win at life.
- [31:14]
A
I think this is the best, most savvy advice. And a lot of people are going to say, oh, it's just been so mean. But I think that's very real, right? It's very real because just trying is not good enough if you want to succeed at something.
- [31:28]
B
I love when people are tough. You know what's also funny about being a tough woman? If I was a man, you would go, that's great.
- [31:37]
A
Yeah.
- [31:37]
B
When you're a tough woman, you're. You're cranky. You. Oh, yeah, I see. Look, I'm. I'm just. I don't have the patience for this anymore. There is something that comes with age. My grandmother was a very stubborn woman. At 96, she died getting her nails done in her own apartment. And she had no filter. In her last 20 years of life, she would walk up and you go, wow, that sweater looks terrible on you. You look fat today. And you're like, now, when you're 20, you care about what everybody thinks. When you're 90, you don't care what anyone thinks. So I'm kind of in the middle here, and if I can speak truth nuggets, because I've lived enough to have a great sense of experience, and I've got enough years left that I don't really care what you think about me.
- [32:16]
A
I love that.
- [32:18]
B
But, you know, that's really not true. I do care and I. And I care very deeply that. And there'll be a lot of people who misunderstand that. That's fine. But I've been reading those comments. I just did the School of Hard Knocks video on Instagram.
- [32:31]
A
He's so good. Yeah, he's fabulous. I love that kid.
- [32:33]
B
9 million on Instagram and just 11 million views on. On tick tock. But the thing that I read was the almost 8, 000 comments. And I will tell you, Cat, it's only been this last two weeks. I read the comments and they're so beautiful and heartfelt and loving. I. Yeah, there was no. I didn't read a single negative one. Knock on wood. And I'm thinking, you know, maybe my time has just come. I care a lot, I give a lot. I work really hard. I got 150,000 students that I've worked with. It's massive over six years. And I realized that I have given more than I've ever. And by the way, before I did all this, I was a very private person. I had no desire to teach what I know. I was always very good at it. I've generated over two and a half billion dollars in sales. I can pitch anything anywhere. It's. I'm really. And my daughter came to me when she was 17, right about COVID six years ago, and said, mom, you should teach what you know. And I was like, I don't need to teach it because I grew up in Hollywood. That was the later part of my career. And I remember taking a contract for $100,000 to my agent. I was 41 years old. And my agent called me a few days later and he said, you know the funny thing? They love you. I'm like, of course they love me. It was my contract. He said, but they also asked me if they could find somebody younger and less expensive. I was only 41. And then he said, and I found her for them. I'm like, you did what? He said, no, no, but they want you to teach her. And I said, screw you. When hell freezes over, I'll teach anybody what I know. And I left Hollywood. I moved out to Cal, to Florida, and I pursued my home shopping career and I opened a lot of other businesses because I would not, because I was. I grew up in a time of competition, and I didn't want that.
- [34:16]
A
Oh, yeah, no, it's. It's very, very tough business out here.
- [34:19]
B
It's a certain age. I have no competition. You should live this long. And I have this energy. Right. So when my daughter said, and mom, there's a system that you do. If you teach this, you'll have a legacy. And so what I'm committed to now, Kat and I do it with a loving heart and a strong hand, is if you want to learn to uplevel your life and pitch and get yeses and generate income, learn these principles, learn this formula, and then practice it, because I can't just gift it to you. I've done pitches for people my whole life. You have to pay me a lot of money. I'll give you your pitch. But that's the only pitch you'll ever get. You pitch every day. You pitch me to be on this show. You pitch people to do all kinds of things. You pitch for new clients, you pitch to go to your favorite restaurant. And if you can get yes in life consistently, I promise you, your happiness quotient goes up.
- [35:07]
A
Yeah, well, let's, let's mention something. You know, a big, I, I think what I learned, a big part of pitching anything is that you have to get used with reject, get used to rejection. Right? Right. Because you get one yes. And like 100, 200, 300 nos that nobody sees. We only see the final result of the, the small yes. Like, for example, when you said yes to me to come on the show,
- [35:31]
B
I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe.
- [35:34]
A
I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. Like, my heart is so full because there's other 500 people that literally send me a message. I love your show. You are great. But my agent doesn't let me go there because you're not a celebrity, because you're not famous, blah, blah. Although my audience is one of the top shows in the world, I get hundreds and hundreds of reject. But I don't care because I have thick skin. I grew up in Hollywood. I, I, to me, it's part of the game. You know, let's see.
- [36:02]
B
Let's reframe this. Okay. Would that be okay?
- [36:04]
A
Yes.
- [36:05]
B
You're not getting no's an agent. Because if you met that agent celebrity in person, I think they would let come on your show. And it's very important how you frame things. Yeah. They say that to you, develop a relationship and say, you know, I would write them back and say, what would it take for you to come on my show? Right. How famous do I have to be? Because all of a sudden my world is different than it was two weeks ago. All of a sudden I have a video with 11 million views. I was always worth that, but now something shifted.
- [36:38]
A
Yeah.
- [36:39]
B
And so if you say to them, so when I get how many downloads? Let's say you get 500,000 downloads right now. So what you're telling me is that when I reach a million downloads, you would put your celebrity on my show, See what they say?
- [36:52]
A
Yeah.
- [36:53]
B
I believe that rejection, when you get a no is just a great way to go. First of all, say thank you. You said thank you. And then flip it to them. Because it's not rejection. It's just you can't be right fit for everybody. Not every jar has the right top to it.
- [37:08]
A
No, totally. And believe me, I answer a lot. But I'm. What I'm saying is, in any sales, right, to be a good salesperson, whatever you pitch, you have to have. You have to grow thick skin. Because if you get hurt every time, whatever you try to sell, if it's a pen, if it's a podcast, if it's a. A course. Because a lot of. A lot of women, they get. They have an issue selling because they get so hurt with rejection.
- [37:35]
B
Catherine, I'm hearing this right now. We're gonna do this training because I'm gonna tell you, I don't feel what you're. What you're saying anymore. I no longer feel. And I think I did when I was a little younger, but I don't at the moment. You could say no to me all day long. It's irrelevant. And in fact, I don't know if you've seen my fitness product, but I have a spin gym here, and I have a beautiful 98. When I meet you in person, everybody wants one. But those two people who don't want it, you know what I say to them behind their back?
- [38:00]
A
Yes, you're an idiot.
- [38:02]
B
You're an idiot. I didn't get rejected. You're an idiot. Because this is the coolest thing ever, and if you can't see it, you're blind. And congratulations, and I move on. I don't think I did that when I was younger, but now you don't like my idea, you don't like my script. Love you, leave you.
- [38:18]
A
I'm kind of the same. I'm like, you know, if somebody says no to me, I'm like, okay, well, it's your loss.
- [38:25]
B
I mean that. And what. I want your listeners to start to experience the same thing. Guys, I think Kat and I have lived enough of a life. If you're new to that and if you. If somebody doesn't Want your pen? And you take that personally. You need to come to our training. You need to come to Cat and Forbes on the loose because there's that no is triggering something from a long time ago when you were rejected. It doesn't much matter. The same thing when someone writes a bad comment. I just watched Gary Vee the other day say this. You're gonna let at soon. So so and so make a comment about you that you're never going to meet. You don't know their life and take it personally. Come on, love them, leave them and move on. There are 7 billion people in the planet.
- [39:05]
A
Bravo. And do you agree that the people that leave the bad comments, it's usually something more about them than about you.
- [39:13]
B
Not something. It is something about them.
- [39:15]
A
There you go.
- [39:15]
B
Most people live lives of quiet desperation. They are unhappy, they're unloved, they've been sexually molested, they're the product of alcoholics. They are deal. They've never dealt with these things. And they're sad, they're frustrated because school doesn't teach this to you. If you don't go out in your life and unlearn some of the things from your past, you will be very, very sad.
- [39:35]
A
Yes. Yes. Bravo. Now, before I run out of time. Oh my God. I have 10 million more questions. Do you think that some. Because I. I know selling helps a lot, whatever it is, because I think most things in life are about sales. But do you believe that someone who is horrible at sales, can that be changed by training them or it's more like something you are born with?
- [40:03]
B
Nobody's born with anything.
- [40:05]
A
No. You don't think some people like you're. You were a natural born salesperson? No. You don't think so?
- [40:10]
B
I was born curious. I learned my craft by watching Body by Jake. And I spent five years pitching products and I worked very hard at the skill of doing this. No, I was not born doing this. And for you to say that sentence makes my heart sad. Somebody who's horrible at sales. Stop right there. How do you know you're horrible at sales?
- [40:33]
A
That's the kind of message we get. Oh, I'm horrible. I can't sell anything.
- [40:37]
B
And I would. Oh, no idea how mad this makes me. Because you don't have a formula. I have a thing called the ultimate pitch formula. When you've learned this, practice it, then come back to me and say you're horrible. Then we got to talk because no one's ever done that. Do you know what it means to question flip somebody? Do you Know what it means to really lay out features and benefits. Do you understand? I'm not talking sales training. I don't care about sales objections and all that other stuff. I'm talking. This is secret to pitching. And I promise you, I promise you, once you learn this, there is no going back. Does that register? So you're not horrible that you just. You're horrible at driving. Did you take a driving test? I'm horrible at dancing. Yeah. Because you probably. If you train to do this, you are no longer horrible. You may never be the best, but I promise you you'll be the best that you get to be. And what I have learned that when you can confidently pitch, you increase your confidence and all of a sudden you are in fact a better person to be around.
- [41:31]
A
Oh my God, I love that. Thank you so much. So where can people find your. Because that was one of the questions I was gonna ask you but you kind of already answered that. Why? Because you're so successful. You have done so much already and you are training people. You are doing this courses, webinars.
- [41:51]
B
Yeah, I'm just gonna share with you. I am so successful and so amazing. Let me tell you what I do. Every Sunday for the last six years. Live for two hours at 5 o' clock Eastern Time. I've been going literally live, teaching people, getting on and interacting with them. Why do I do that? I don't ever need to work again a day in my life. I do this because I get to meet everybody. Remember when you're see for me as a lonely, awkward kid and I get a sense that you're the same. I was so freaking lonely that all of a sudden that I know I'm going to read something to you that my daughter just sent me. This made me. This literally made me cry. And I'm living my best life. McKenna wrote that. This person gonna make it bigger.
- [42:33]
A
Yeah.
- [42:34]
B
This woman. Oh, it's a man. I didn't realize it was a man. Oh my God. Andrew. I just spoke with a lady who. Oh, one might. Sorry. He's my. One of my salespeople. I just spoke with a lady who set to do my training. She asked me to share this with Forbes and the team that she lost her mother. This morning she passed away in her sleep and we talked about pushing her training back to next month. But she mentioned how close she was with her mom and it reminded me of McKenna and Forbes. My. My daughter, she wants to continue and do it this month as that's what her mom would have wanted her to do. She also mentioned that she talked to her mom about this and, like, how I can't read that. Last night, I met a woman who has a neurological issue. We're in the middle of just training, and so can I just ask you a question? And she could barely put her words together. And I spent the time totally doing something different that I don't normally do in class. And my head of operations wrote me, and she said, I'm sitting here and I'm in a puddle of tears. Forbes, the way that you just shifted and were there for that person in real time, in that moment. Who knows how long you get to be on this planet? I touch people's hearts, and I want them to touch me. I'm not an actress who just stands in front of a movie camera and plays a character. I am training people to be the. The very best version of themselves. And I demand a thank you. I want you guys to write me on social media and say thank you. Did that cat by saying, I watched your videos.
- [43:55]
A
Oh, my God. Listen, I watch your videos and I'm. This is. I'm saying from my heart, not because you're on the show. I watch your videos over and over and over again. I literally soak in like a sponge number one, because I soak in your energy to of your videos. Your energy is so powerful. So I highly recommend anybody listening. Just looking at your videos gives me goosebumps. I could be having the worst day. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go so that alone. Because I believe in the worst days are the days we gotta push ourselves forward. And I always say that, like the. Because we want to, like, hide under the blankets, right? And cry. Because we all have our battles. We are all going through so much that nobody knows about. That's why I share my story, like, raw and naked on the show because I want people to know out there that we sympathize. But on the hardest days, if you're not doing therapy, if you don't have money to do therapist, look at an account from someone that inspires you. I do that with your account. And I look again and again and I memorize all the words. Like when you're pitching, don't say those words.
- [45:06]
B
Don't do this.
- [45:07]
A
I'm always trying to be a better salesperson, a better woman, a better friend, a better everything through your videos. So I. I am saying thankful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because you inspire me. Like, you have no idea.
- [45:22]
B
I love so you in Beverly Hills at the moment.
- [45:24]
A
I am where are you?
- [45:25]
B
Well, I'm in Tampa, Florida. I may be popping up. I've got some interviews to do real quick.
- [45:30]
A
Please, if you come into town, I would love to so much that we could get together. Maybe we could do another one. Maybe we could do some videos together. It would be such an honor.
- [45:41]
B
I'm serious about following up with you after this because. So just leave. Everybody. If you're listening to this, I love what you said. You know, this August of this year, I had a surgery and I was out for four weeks. I stopped all my classes and I rewatched all of Game of Thrones and it was very. And I have my beautiful husband and my. My kids. But it was really that not feeling so good thing here and the world. Funny. The crazy thing is when you leave the planet, the world doesn't really stop. It didn't really care. So if you want to matter to yourself, to your family, lean into what you're doing, be the one in the room that says, I am enough, because everyone's happily to tell you that you're not. And I am a cheerleader, as I think Kat is as well. To get out of your own way to stop worrying about the number on your birth certificate and live your very best life. Because I'll tell you what. And I said it in one of my videos. I don't know if we get to do this again, but if you live life right the first time, once is enough.
- [46:36]
A
Bravo. I am so honored to have you on the show. Thank you for inspiring us, guys. I am putting the link here to your Instagram because everybody can find all the links there, including to the webinars that you do on Sundays. Right. I'm gonna jump in. I highly recommend you guys look at her videos because I don't know if it gets more inspiring than you. I am insanely honored. Like, I cannot smile bigger and my heart is so full. And the word grateful is not enough, but that's how I feel right now.
- [47:10]
B
Thank you. As soon as this comes out, you guys. By the way, I would also do your. You'll find out this on my. On my Instagram, too. But I'm doing a big launch party. I'm inviting my celebrity friends to do it virtually. And we are celebrating the craft of pitching because there's a lot of people who made this $21 billion business make sense. And now you can also make money from your house on Tik Tok Shop on Amazon Live if you understand the principles of pitching. So I'm excited to see how many generations that we can inspire to live their very best life. I do have a quick 4 o',
- [47:45]
A
clock, so I'm going to thank you so much. It was such an honor. Have you guys be really safe out there and I'll see you guys back very soon.