Podcast Summary: Kat on the Loose Episode: Dr. Nadine Macaluso
Release Date: June 4, 2025
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Dr. Nadine Macaluso

Introduction

In this deeply personal and empowering episode of Kat on the Loose, host Kat Zammuto welcomes Dr. Nadine Macaluso, a therapist specializing in trauma healing and personal transformation. Dr. Nadine shares her harrowing journey from a traumatic marriage to becoming an author and therapist dedicated to helping others escape and heal from toxic relationships.

Background and Personal Journey

Dr. Nadine's Past: Dr. Nadine opens up about her eight-year marriage to Jordan Belfort, famously portrayed by Margot Robbie in The Wolf of Wall Street. She explains the intensity and chaos of their relationship, highlighting aspects not depicted in the movie, such as the profound emotional and physical abuse she endured.

[04:39] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "What the movie doesn't show is how traumatized I was and how abusive he was and what his drug addiction did to me."

Common Ground with Kat: Kat relates deeply with Dr. Nadine, sharing her own experience of a 15-year toxic marriage. Both women were young when they married and believed in the potential for their partners to change, showcasing the common struggle many face in abusive relationships.

[03:22] Kat Zammuto: "I was in a horribly toxic marriage for 15 years."

Understanding Trauma Bonds

Defining Trauma Bonds: Dr. Nadine explains that trauma bonds are formed under specific conditions: a power imbalance and intermittent reinforcement. This means the abuser is cruel most of the time but exhibits kindness occasionally, creating a confusing and addictive cycle for the victim.

[15:37] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "A trauma bond is a complex process... it has to have two conditions for it to exist: a power imbalance and intermittent reinforcement."

Impact of Cognitive Dissonance: She delves into cognitive dissonance, where victims are left questioning their reality and self-worth, making it harder to leave the abusive relationship.

[16:07] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "There’s a symptom called cognitive dissonance, meaning you feel totally confused. Is he good? Is he bad? Am I crazy?"

Path to Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Recognizing the Breaking Point: Dr. Nadine recounts the pivotal moments that led her to leave her marriage, including physical violence and his lack of remorse. She emphasizes the importance of safety and strategic planning when deciding to leave.

[12:30] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "When he kicked me down the stairs, that physicality snapped me."

Practical Steps to Exit: She provides actionable advice for those looking to leave, such as not informing the abuser prematurely, securing financial independence, and seeking professional support.

[18:00] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "Don’t tell him. He cannot see you coming. Plan behind the scenes... get a lawyer, get a divorce coach, get a good therapist."

Healing and Rebuilding After Leaving

Reclaiming Self-Worth: Both Kat and Dr. Nadine discuss the emotional turmoil post-separation, including feelings of worthlessness and the cycle of entering new abusive relationships. Dr. Nadine emphasizes the importance of self-education and building confidence through understanding one’s attachment patterns and developmental trauma.

[20:10] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "Financial independence, no matter who you are, no matter who you're married to, is very important as a woman."

Creating Support Systems: Dr. Nadine highlights her initiative, the Surthriver Community, an affordable online course and support group designed to help survivors heal and connect with others.

[22:37] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "I host support groups three times a week, and I bring in experts every week to talk. And it's $30 a month."

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

Understanding Patterns: Dr. Nadine explains how early developmental experiences shape adult relationships and the importance of rewiring one’s attachment styles to avoid repeating destructive patterns.

[28:08] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "You need to know how you're wired for love. But you can rework that wiring so that you don't keep choosing people that abuse you."

Practical Exercises: She suggests mental exercises such as identifying and countering negative self-talk with positive affirmations to rebuild self-esteem and break free from the cycle of abuse.

[29:41] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "Find out what your inner critic says to you and then write an opposite affirmation."

Resources and Support

Dr. Nadine’s Book: Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds serves as a comprehensive resource for those seeking to understand and overcome toxic relationships.

[32:56] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "The most important take is that abuse is never your fault. The abuser will try to blame you."

Online Community: The Surthriver Community offers accessible support and educational materials to empower survivors in their healing journey.

[22:47] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "If they go to my website, Dr. Nay N A E dot com. You'll see community on the website."

Closing Thoughts

Encouragement and Hope: Dr. Nadine and Kat conclude the episode by reinforcing the message that leaving an abusive relationship is possible and that healing is achievable with the right support and resources. They encourage listeners to seek help, build their independence, and believe in their worthiness of healthy, loving relationships.

[27:19] Dr. Nadine Macaluso: "Feel hopeful and look for the helpers, because there are helpers out there that will help you 1 million percent."

Final Words: Kat expresses immense gratitude for Dr. Nadine's insights and encourages listeners to access her resources for support and healing.

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Nadine Macaluso [04:39]: "What the movie doesn't show is how traumatized I was and how abusive he was and what his drug addiction did to me."
• Kat Zammuto [15:37]: "A trauma bond is a complex process... it has to have two conditions for it to exist: a power imbalance and intermittent reinforcement."
• Dr. Nadine Macaluso [18:00]: "Don’t tell him. He cannot see you coming. Plan behind the scenes... get a lawyer, get a divorce coach, get a good therapist."
• Dr. Nadine Macaluso [28:08]: "You need to know how you're wired for love. But you can rework that wiring so that you don't keep choosing people that abuse you."

Conclusion

This episode of Kat on the Loose offers a raw and unfiltered look into the challenges of escaping and healing from abusive relationships. Through Dr. Nadine Macaluso’s powerful testimony and professional insights, listeners gain valuable understanding and practical strategies to recognize trauma bonds, break free from toxic situations, and embark on a journey of personal transformation and healing.

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds by Dr. Nadine Macaluso
• Website: Dr.NayNAE.com (Surthriver Community)
• Instagram: @dr.nadine