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- [00:00]
Kat
My guest today, Damon Loner, AKA Father Damon, is a very well known and controversial figure around Los Angeles, Beverly Hills and the Hollywood hills because in 2013 he founded a very exclusive, luxurious, super high end members only nightclub and sex club called Sanctum. Damon went on to doing several other things with his life and now he wrote a book called called eyes wide open where he definitely opened the curtains. It's a massive tell all. Super vulnerable, super raw about his experiences with Sanctum, how he ended up having the idea, everything that was going on behind the scenes. He talks about his drug use, sex adventures and so much more. And he came to the Cat on the loose studios for a very, very real, super vulnerable interview. And I truly enjoyed it. Whether or not you know what Sanctum us, if you ever wonder what goes on behind the velvet ropes of one of the most exclusive clubs ever, you are going to love this episode. If you guys are anything like me and most people, you love a great night's sleep. So I invite you to check out sleepingdove.com Sleeping Dove is a revolutionary luxury comforter with patent pending windows. No gadgets, no tech, no wires, nothing crazy like that. Because you. Who wants that around our bed, right? We just want to sleep in peace. Everything is 100 organic with insanely luxurious materials. Basically, if you're feeling too hot, you open your window. And if you're feeling too cold, you close your window. So no more sleeping divorce, no more arguing about the bad temperature at night. Everybody can sleep peaceful at the desired temperature with the fabulous Sleeping Dove. Check it out on sleepingdove.com and on Instagram you guys can see tons of fabulous videos. Sleeping Dove home. Damon, welcome to get on the loose.
- [02:06]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [02:06]
Kat
It's a pleasure having you here. I finished reading your book last night. What a powerful, powerful book. You went all out.
- [02:12]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [02:12]
Kat
You really opened the gates.
- [02:15]
Damon Loner
I did.
- [02:15]
Kat
So to speak.
- [02:18]
Damon Loner
I left Elysian and went to New York and I was really out of bottom when I left. I had just burned through everything. And yeah, I just bottomed out emotionally, you know, money wise in every possible way. And I went to New York with. With a suitcase. I had about $400 left. I mean, you know, because you read, I had about four. This is all. I mean, it actually was real, right? I have $400 left to my name. I booked a hotel room in New York for one week and flew out there. I just knew I had to get out of L. A. Wow. And. And I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know I didn't know if I was gonna be sleeping on a. On the street, but I just knew that I had to get out of L. Because something always happens in my life, right. And my aunt took me in and. And she has a loft in Tribeca, and. And I was there for a couple weeks, and. And then I just started writing and. And then it turned into five months of. Of, you know, 12 hours a day. It's all I did. I didn't go out, I didn't socialize. I just wrote and I wrote this book. And yeah, I saw myself, you know, for the first. I hope that that comes across in the book.
- [03:35]
Kat
Oh, my God. Yeah, you're very raw. But before we talk about the book, I don't want to give out the entire book, but I have a lot of questions about the book. Let's rewind the story. For people that don't know your story or people that know you and are super curious about it. Now, before we started recording, I mentioned to you that my story with you goes way back. And this is news to you now. And it's the first time ever that I'm sharing this with anybody in the world, because nobody knows. First time sharing my audience. I was getting out because I was in a insanely abusive marriage for 14 and a half years. And we barely had sex for 14 and a half years.
- [04:11]
Damon Loner
I'm sorry.
- [04:12]
Kat
So I was getting over that. My husband dying, my life in chaos. And I heard about you because one of, like in the. The. The top of the top when. When Sanctum was on top of the world. And we're going to tell you guys what Sanctum is, if you never heard about it. And somebody reached out to me and they were like, oh, I forgot the name of the lady that worked for you. She was really nice.
- [04:35]
Damon Loner
Yeah, a couple of them.
- [04:36]
Kat
And they asked me if I wanted to go to a party. And I started researching and I was like, many people here in Beverly Hills, right? I was very drawn to it because, like, you know what? I have to find my sexuality again.
- [04:47]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [04:48]
Kat
And it was a huge step for me to do. I literally said yes. They asked to see my pictures and they invited me to a party. And I went. And it was a life changing experience for me.
- [04:58]
Damon Loner
Wow.
- [04:59]
Kat
And I remember seeing you there, and at that, we're gonna explain the whole story. But I remember that night, you're, like, wearing your tux in the middle of the living room, and you were surrounded by people because men wanted to be you and women were drawn to you. They didn't even care you were married or not. And I remember looking at like, wow, he's a magnet for this kind of energy.
- [05:22]
Damon Loner
Yeah, that, that. It was an incredible time. You know, I was thinking on the drive over that, um, there's very few people that have experienced that. You know, I, like, I'm not a rock star and I'm not a, I'm not a famous actor. And, you know, but I, I got to feel what it would feel like to be in those shoes, to, to have that, that everyone want a piece of you. And, and, you know, especially at that time before I worked through so much of what I ended up working through on my own self, I, you know, I felt like a God and I wanted that energy. You know, I didn't love myself or like myself very much, you know, and so to have all of these people love me was like the best feeling in the world. And I got completely addicted to it. And, you know, and I spent years just sort of like giving them all what I thought they wanted. And I guess I did a pretty good job of it.
- [06:23]
Kat
You did.
- [06:24]
Damon Loner
And, and yeah. Well, thank you for coming. And I know that Sanctum did change people's lives, you know. It did. It had that effect on people. It was a very powerful experience. I think for some people it probably maybe was not that. Maybe it was maybe some, you know, but for many people, you know, especially at that time, because it was 2013 when I started it.
- [06:46]
Kat
Yeah, I went in 2017.
- [06:50]
Damon Loner
Okay, so you were, you were like at the height.
- [06:52]
Kat
Yes, it was at the height. Like you guys were opening up.
- [06:54]
Damon Loner
Was I at the Sanctum Mansion, New York.
- [06:56]
Kat
Okay. Yeah. You were like all over. I. I don't even remember if the Showtime thing was out or not. I think it was after that. The Showtime there was a series, but yeah, you were all over the news. Like people were, you know, talking about.
- [07:10]
Damon Loner
Yeah, that was the height of the entire thing.
- [07:11]
Kat
Yeah. And the mystery, that's the part for me. I was like, you know, because I was thinking it, I was thinking was normal to not have a sex life.
- [07:19]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [07:19]
Kat
You know, I was thinking, literally, this is just how life is.
- [07:22]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [07:23]
Kat
And when I heard about it and I, I saw the video, whatever it was that they sent me, I'm like, you know what? I gotta give this a shot. I got see what's out there.
- [07:30]
Damon Loner
Will you tell me what happened on the night?
- [07:32]
Kat
Of course. But let's. We have. Oh, my God, this is going to be like a 10 hour episode. Because let's explain what Sanctum is. And then we got to rewind how you got there, because I know a lot of people listening. Hopefully the Sanctum crowd is listening. But I know I have an audience worldwide. They're like, what are you guys talking about? And I want to emphasize. And I love that you wrote that in the book. You didn't create Sanctum to be like a swingers club. No, it wasn't that at all.
- [07:57]
Damon Loner
No, not at all. I mean, I. It's strange. I was doing parties in Bali, and then when I came back to the States, I was, you know, completely. I had no money. I had to. I had to create something. I, you know, since you've read the book, you know my story very well. But, you know, I. I got a real estate license and I was trying to do that and nothing was working. And. And because I had done nightlife in Bali, I just started. I conceptualized some. Something here that I could do.
- [08:22]
Kat
Yeah.
- [08:23]
Damon Loner
You know, I didn't. No one believed in me. No one knew who I was really. So I couldn't get. I couldn't get a nightclub to open up for me. I, you know, I couldn't get investment, do a brick and mortar place. So Sanctum just started to materialize this idea that if I could create something that was secretive and sexual and, you know, kind of Eyes Wide Shut, you know, which is my inspiration. Super exclusive for, you know, the Beverly Hills, the wealthiest people. If I could create this illusion and this fantasy, then. Then maybe I could get that. I could maybe sell tickets to something before it even existed.
- [08:58]
Kat
Yeah.
- [08:59]
Damon Loner
And then I could deliver on that promise. And, you know, once I got some money and. And so. And that's what happened, because I was so driven to create this thing, you know, that I didn't really even know what it was you had.
- [09:12]
Kat
And it's interesting because you. You're. The way you describe it in the book is very, very easy. Like, even if somebody has never been to a Sanctum event, it's very easy to picture in. In your head because you're very descriptive of it. Like, you basically created something in your mind and you didn't even know if it was going to work.
- [09:29]
Damon Loner
Not at all.
- [09:30]
Kat
I mean, everything was out of your own imagination.
- [09:32]
Damon Loner
Most, that I was crazy, that it wasn't gonna work, that no one would wanna do that.
- [09:37]
Kat
Yeah.
- [09:38]
Damon Loner
Who would wanna go to a sex. And. But. But to me, like, the idea of a sex party, to me wasn't what a sex party was. Cause I. I never wanted to go to a sex party. I wasn't a swinger. The whole idea of, of sex parties was not something that, I mean, I, I, I still, I, I wouldn't go to a sex party. Like, I'm not interested in sex parties. I don't want like just to fuck random people or something like that. I'm not interested in that. But like the art and doing performances and everyone's in tuxedos and you know, in be. I was like, that would be something that I would be turned on to. Maybe other people would too. And yeah, I mean, look like it's all, it's all in, you know, I went into detail in that book, like really what it was and how, how I had nothing. How I had nothing when I started. And, and I went, and the stickers I put up and the website, that was one page, you know, and like just seeding this idea, this, this thing until somehow miraculously.
- [10:38]
Kat
Yeah, because people liked it.
- [10:39]
Damon Loner
Yeah.
- [10:40]
Kat
And I love that you're very open about how you created, like you said you were broke, you didn't have any money, you didn't have investors, you threw one party and you're like, are people gonna come? Are they gonna pay this crazy money? Because you were charging a membership fee in the beginning. It was in the beginning and it was low. It was like fifteen hundred dollars.
- [10:56]
Damon Loner
Yeah.
- [10:57]
Kat
And by the way, I did not pay because you guys were after beautiful, young, like high end women you were not after. I never charged courts. And this is what attracted me because of the quality of people. And you wrote a phrase in your book that I really love that I'm getting here because I couldn't memorize it. That's a perfect description of sanctuary. The wealthy aren't driven by necessity, they're pulled in by desire. And that's exactly what you did. You made something so mysterious, literally, like you said, like the movie Eyes Wide Shut, that anybody with money in Beverly Hills, in Hollywood, they were like, I wanna be there. What are they doing?
- [11:40]
Damon Loner
And I sort of like my whole life because I've had this really kind of incredible life and I've been around a lot of famous people and a lot of wealth and a lot, you know, and I've gone in and out of all these worlds, so I kind of, I intrinsically knew what they wanted and so I became that person. Like, I just puffed myself up, you know, I made it like, oh, you know, to get in here is such a privilege. And even with movie stars and music, like, I made them all pay. There were very few people and, you know, and I, and I Decided in the book. And also now, like, I don't. I'm not gonna name any names, you know, and so I changed names and I don't know if some, you know, maybe some of them are obvious, but. But I changed names and I didn't. I didn't. You know, I didn't want this to be about, like an expose.
- [12:25]
Kat
Right.
- [12:26]
Damon Loner
You know, I wanted it to. Just to tell the truth of this whole thing.
- [12:29]
Kat
Yeah. Which I. By the way, very classy of you because I totally agree. Like, you know, a lot of people that were in these events, I have no problem talking about it because, you know, the podcast is an open book and I like sharing the experience. But of course, like I said, there were a lot of famous people there. A lot of sports figures and, you know.
- [12:46]
Damon Loner
Yeah. I mean, some. On some of my, like, ultimate heroes were there, you know, like musicians that I got to spend nights with.
- [12:52]
Kat
Totally. Playboy model.
- [12:54]
Damon Loner
Yeah, all of that.
- [12:55]
Kat
I mean, we've seen it all there. But I don't think it wasn't like. Because I know people are going to ask these questions. I'm thinking also it was a sex. You went there cause you wanted to have sex. I don't think so, no. Right. That's not what you made it for at all.
- [13:11]
Damon Loner
You know, of the people that came. And by the way, I did sort of the math on it, which is. Which is nearly 10,000 people came to my club.
- [13:19]
Kat
Wow.
- [13:19]
Damon Loner
10,000 people. And I talk about it in one of the chapters that it was like, it was people, you know, it was people you work with. It was even members of your own family, oftentimes that you would never expect would come to that. And they weren't coming there for an orgy or something like that. No. Because if that's what they wanted, they would go to some cheesy place because they have sex parties and they can.
- [13:42]
Kat
Do it in their own house. Like you call a bunch of people and you throw them in or they can do that. The sanctum was much more than that.
- [13:47]
Damon Loner
I mean, we did theater shows and the people you would meet.
- [13:52]
Kat
Very erotic, by the way. Super sexy shows.
- [13:54]
Damon Loner
Yeah. And, you know, some people, obviously a lot of people did have sex, and that's great. But like, I don't think that the majority of the people were there to just see what this was and see how they felt and because it felt so good for so many people.
- [14:09]
Kat
Yeah.
- [14:09]
Damon Loner
Then people would begin to open up and then. Yes. You're walking around and you're seeing beautiful people make love and you're like, I kind of want to do that, too. And then a lot of people are.
- [14:18]
Kat
Just, like you said, watching.
- [14:19]
Damon Loner
A lot of people would watch.
- [14:20]
Kat
But this is why I am a huge fan of your work ever since then. Because it breaks my heart to say that we grow up with this idea that sex is something dirty and wrong and disgusting, and if you talk about it, something wrong with you, especially women.
- [14:37]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [14:37]
Kat
If you do it, you're a. You're bad. You're this and that. So when you created that. And by the way, you. You. You always emphasize that. And that was so nice that it was so safe.
- [14:47]
Damon Loner
Right?
- [14:48]
Kat
Like, there were tons, tons of security. Everybody was screened before you knew, every single person that was there.
- [14:54]
Damon Loner
And I'm glad you were there, because, you know, back in the. You know, early on, when I started this thing, you know, I. People have a lot of preconceived notions of me, and people, like, really talk terribly of me, and it's okay, you know, because if I had done anything wrong ever in my life, I would have been. I mean, I've had a microscope on me from the day I started this thing. Right. And it. And it, like, you know, there. I have stalkers. Someone put a website up and made me look, like, terrible.
- [15:24]
Kat
Oh, my God.
- [15:25]
Damon Loner
Pulled pictures off my Instagram because people hate me.
- [15:30]
Kat
Why?
- [15:30]
Damon Loner
Because sexuality, I know, is something that is so. And. And because I've been so open about it.
- [15:37]
Kat
Yes.
- [15:38]
Damon Loner
And I've, like, really opened myself up. And also, obviously, you know, like, in. In writing the book, you know, if I'm going to admit the truth of myself, how, you know, have I been, like, an absolute narcissist? And have I. Have I been, you know, like, have I done things that just are gross and posted things that I shouldn't have? Yes. You know what I mean? So, like, I can see why people would have that. That view of me, and I can no longer tell my. I mean, I know why. I know why. Look what I've done. Look at my life. Look how I've lived it. But, you know, like. Like, I. I truly. I truly love women, and I truly want to keep them safe. And so that. Because I had that going in, you know, I would always say, when guests would arrive, in the beginning, in 2013, I would say, just ask before you touch. That's what I would say to them. Just ask before you touch.
- [16:22]
Kat
Oh, yeah, I remember that. And then that became, like, you had all those rules. Yes.
- [16:26]
Damon Loner
There weren't that many, but that became, like, the golden rule of the Club. And it was just something that I would say naturally, but then it was like, so, you know, ask before you touc touch. So then you had this environment now where people were actually asking for consent. And that was before.
- [16:38]
Kat
Yeah, I.
- [16:39]
Damon Loner
No one was talking about consent in those early years. This is before the stuff with, you know, Epstein, whatever. All this stuff that's gone crazy. Yeah, it was just.
- [16:48]
Kat
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- [18:03]
Damon Loner
Like I, you know, that's what you do, you ask. And so because that was sort of the, the, the ethos of the club y, it created a super safe environment. And with that environment, then women, like you're saying, could, could be. Feel very free, walk around naked if they wanted to in lingerie, know that they were in a safe environment and really express themselves sensually and sexually and God, I mean, that's what made my club what it was.
- [18:26]
Kat
Exactly. And I, Well, I've. I was there once. But I have to say, in my experience, I think you did everybody there a huge favor because like I said, you were basically normalizing something that, that everybody should feel normal about, which is exploring your sexuality, exploring different fantasies. Right. Things that you want to do. And it was so classy.
- [18:47]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [18:48]
Kat
I know there's a lot of bad things about you in the media because like I said, unfortunately, it's a subject that the minute you talk about it. People are going to trash you.
- [18:56]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [18:57]
Kat
Like, I'm in somewhat similar territory because I do a sex podcast, so. But I don't care. I think this conversations are so important. I do, too, but the critics are. Are horrible. I don't care. But I am a witness that when you created Sanctum, it wasn't like, you know, crazy, everybody, like, you know, naked on the floor and all this drug. No, it was so classy.
- [19:20]
Damon Loner
I mean, it's. Some of the really good parties. It was. Well, I'm just kidding.
- [19:23]
Kat
The one that I went, it was. No, I mean, I felt very safe there.
- [19:27]
Damon Loner
It was. It was always very safe. But. But there were times when. I mean, not many, but there were times when the whole house would just be. I would call it, like, activated. And. And every couch and every bed was filled with naked bodies and people floating around. Even then.
- [19:43]
Kat
Damon, by the way, it's important to mention everybody was there. Like consensual adults.
- [19:49]
Damon Loner
Absolutely, yes. Well, if it wasn't that, it couldn't exist. You know, and that was the thing about if you do this right, you know, most people don't do it right. Most people are in it for probably the wrong reasons, and they, you know, I mean, like, look at pornography. You know, I. I don't watch a lot of pornography, mainly because it's so disgusting.
- [20:15]
Kat
Right.
- [20:15]
Damon Loner
Like, it's all about coming on women's face. I don't, you know, I don't want to come on someone's face.
- [20:20]
Kat
It's not sensual.
- [20:21]
Damon Loner
It's not sensual at all. And. And as. As kinky as I can be. And I do love, you know, some. I. I do love exploring something, you know, dark and whatever fantasy. If the woman wants that, yeah, I will go all the way there with her if she wants that. But, like, generally, I'm just like a lover. I'm kind of vanilla, in fact, you know, so, like, that is what the club was, and that is what every club I've ever done has been, is just about, like, sensuality and some semblance of love and, you know, and that's what I wanted. But of course, you know, I can't control what other people do. And a lot of people come to those parties just to have sex with.
- [20:59]
Kat
Totally. But as Sanctum grew, you're all over the news, you're all over the media. Showtime picks it up. To do a show about you just explode. I mean, you would think from the outside you have, like, this perfect life, but it kind of destroyed your. Not kind of. It destroyed your Marriage?
- [21:16]
Damon Loner
Yeah. I mean, I mean, the whole time of, until right now, I've been like a facade of myself. I mean, I really have. You know, I've been like, playing these roles to get what I need to get to survive in this world. You know, I, I, I don't come, I shouldn't say I don't come from money. My grandfather was fairly wealthy, but by the time I'm 25, if, you know, it's all up to me, and, and, and if I don't get, if I don't make money and I don't, you know, figure stuff out, like, I'm, I'm broke. I don't have anyone to, to lean on. And so I, I've just been this, like, kind of, this kind of hustler my whole life, trying to, to, to. And I'm, and, you know, I know I'm charismatic and I know what works for me, and I know how to get what I want to get. And so I've just put on and I've been like, you know, I've never told, I've never really been honest with very many people about what's going on inside me, about what I'm feeling inside. And so when I'm at the top of the world and Sanctum is, you know, and I've got money and power and Card and all this stuff inside, I'm not feeling so good because I had to trade, you know, my, It's a horrible thing to say, and I have to admit it, you know, I had to say I can't have my family. I can't have my wife and my kids and have this Sanctum thing, and I've got to make a decision. And making that decision, if I could go back in a fucking time machine, I would not have done it. I would not have fucking done it. But I did it. I did it. And so now I'm here. And so, like, I have to have this.
- [23:00]
Kat
If you would go back on a time machine, you would have.
- [23:02]
Damon Loner
I would have never done Sanctum.
- [23:03]
Kat
Never done Sanctum. Keep your family.
- [23:05]
Damon Loner
I mean, you know, what I've experienced and all of this life and, you know, and now there's going to be a television show about my life with an actor playing me and all of that. Yeah, yeah.
- [23:16]
Kat
Like fiction or.
- [23:17]
Damon Loner
Yeah. The guy who wrote American Horror Story, Brad Folger.
- [23:22]
Kat
Fantastic.
- [23:22]
Damon Loner
So he wrote it.
- [23:23]
Kat
He's such a good writer.
- [23:24]
Damon Loner
And then, and then the production company.
- [23:26]
Kat
But are you participating?
- [23:27]
Damon Loner
I mean, just, they have my life rights and that's pretty cool. I'll help with some of the stuff.
- [23:31]
Kat
Is it based on the book?
- [23:33]
Damon Loner
It's based around the book. And the people who made Ozark is the production company. So it's going to be a beautiful thing. They actually have the actor already.
- [23:43]
Kat
Who is the actor? Can you tell us?
- [23:44]
Damon Loner
I can. I just forget his name. He was in a Game of Thrones. Great looking guy. Like, really cool guy. But any. But anyway, so, like, right, so all of this stuff, right? So I have this incredible story and I wrote a book, and none of that would have happened had I not walked this path. But. But truly, like, if I look back on all of it, if I had. If I had just said, you know, just be a dad.
- [24:07]
Kat
Yeah.
- [24:07]
Damon Loner
Like, just be a fucking dad. You don't need to be this big shot and this thing, because where did it really bring me in the end? Like, well, you read my book.
- [24:21]
Kat
Yeah. You promised your older daughter that when she went to high school. You're like, I will sell the club. And sure enough, you keep the promise to your daughter.
- [24:31]
Damon Loner
Yes.
- [24:31]
Kat
And you sell the club. And it's a crazy story. Like this dude, do you want to tell?
- [24:37]
Damon Loner
Whatever you want.
- [24:38]
Kat
You see, I read it.
- [24:39]
Damon Loner
I know.
- [24:39]
Kat
I was like, I'm a bookworm. And that's the problem when I get a book. I cannot stop. You know, I'm not these people that read five pages and five. I'm like, I have to finish the book, like, either in one day or two days. I cannot stop until I'm done. Because I'm like, I really soak it in. Especially knowing you and being a part of your story, I'm like, I want to know the end of it.
- [24:59]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [24:59]
Kat
So this dude from New York tells you he wants to pay a million bucks. I thought it would have been worth.
- [25:05]
Damon Loner
A lot more, you know, it was worth a lot more. But try selling a secret society sex club on the open market, you know, and plus, there's no brick and mortar. It's a website, it's a logo, and it's a guest list.
- [25:19]
Kat
Right? And the reputation. Right, right.
- [25:21]
Damon Loner
And the reputation of it. Was it worth more than a million? I mean, I think it probably was, but could I get more than a million? Maybe not. I took the million, and then the.
- [25:31]
Kat
Dude is like, cash. Literally physical cash. So you go to New York and you're like, how the hell am I gonna bring this money? And you literally saw $1 million in cash in front of you. That must have felt good.
- [25:46]
Damon Loner
It felt incredible. It was actually not just for absolute clarity. Because I'm like, so into honesty these days. But it was 900,000 in cash and Bitcoin, so I had 900,000 in cash in two suitcases.
- [25:58]
Kat
And what happened to the bitcoins? Did they go up in value?
- [26:02]
Damon Loner
I. You know, regrettably. I suppose I just thought, what is digital currency? I'm so old school. And I just didn't.
- [26:10]
Kat
I don't think anybody thought it was going to get this.
- [26:12]
Damon Loner
Yeah, well, I mean, many people did, and many people are rich now because of it. But, yeah, so I sold the bitcoin, but, but, yeah, so I had to figure out, you know, imagine having nearly a million dollars in cash. Like, where do you put it? What do you do with it?
- [26:25]
Kat
Right?
- [26:26]
Damon Loner
You know, like, like, how do you, you know. And so I had to sort of like. And not all of that's in the book, but it's, you know, it was a very interesting experience. And I was living in Venice Beach. I mean, well, what did I do? I mean, I, I put it in my mattress.
- [26:39]
Kat
So wait, so you're in New York and you get this two suitcase or cash. So you put them on a plane, right? You're like, you figure out, how do.
- [26:46]
Damon Loner
I get it back?
- [26:47]
Kat
Yeah. So you decide to pay for this plane. Like, 27, 24,000. 27,000. So you fly this cash. Oh, my God. Were you afraid, like, somebody's going to steal it from me or.
- [27:00]
Damon Loner
I mean, yeah, I was. I didn't know. You know, it was, it was obviously a, you know, but what, what was I going to do? You know, I mean, I, I, it's.
- [27:11]
Kat
One of those stories that if we see in a movie, you're like, oh, yeah, just in a movie. This would never happen in real life.
- [27:16]
Damon Loner
Yeah, I mean, it was quite, it was quite, it was quite the ending to that chapter. It. See, it seemed like it's that chapter of my life. It seemed like it was just like, how else could. Could Sanctum end other than this? Some, Some unbelievable experience that would, you know, that would end that story. And then when I got back to Venice, you know, I didn't know. I didn't know who I was anymore. I mean, I'd done Sanctum for six years, and it had become my. I was Damon, founder of Sanctum. That was my entire identity. And it gave me access to things that, like, like I said, there's so few people that even could understand what it was like to be me during that time. You know, I mean, celebrities coming to me and saying, like, wow, what you're Doing is beyond anything I've ever experienced. You know, like the women wanting just a piece of me, any piece they could get, just. Just like to be close to me. And. And so I was in that. And. And it felt fairly real. And then when I stepped out of it, it's like, oh, wait a second, second. That was a fantasy world that I created. Now I'm me.
- [28:27]
Kat
It was a fantasy world, but you made it real.
- [28:30]
Damon Loner
I mean, it was real.
- [28:31]
Kat
That's why it was so cool to be there.
- [28:33]
Damon Loner
Because you're like, for a while, you're.
- [28:35]
Kat
Getting ready and everything, and you literally felt like, at least for me, you step into this magical world. This is mysterious. But it was real. It happened.
- [28:45]
Damon Loner
I mean, yes, it was. And, you know, also I talk about in the book, about how sort of some of that happened, where I learned to sort of use fantasy to escape the situations that were uncomfortable for me as a child. And so, like, you know, I got really good at creating fantasy and, you know, you know, lying and making up stories and all of this stuff sort of became who I was. And so that really served me with Sanctum because I was able to just create this total fantasy and, and. And make it absolutely real for people to step into. And then. And yeah, I mean, it was just sort of like a perfect storm of me and this idea. And then I guess wealthy people, you know, who have everything in their lives but that. Right. That's the one thing they don't have. They can buy whatever car they want, whatever watch they want, whatever house they want. They can fly anywhere they want. They can do whatever they want. They can if they want to have sex. And that's why it wasn't about sex. If they want to have sex, they could hire a prostitute. They could do whatever they want. But this was the one thing that they didn't have access to unless they, you know, got through.
- [29:59]
Kat
Once you gave them access.
- [30:00]
Damon Loner
Yeah, me and my team, I mean, like you said, someone called you up, someone, you know, asked you for videos, someone put you through the process. You know, we did that with everybody.
- [30:08]
Kat
And it was super like, by the time. It was a process. Yeah, like you got. I don't remember the details, but I think you got like a code. And then you would go to a place and get the invitation. It was very secretive.
- [30:20]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [30:21]
Kat
Then when you finally got. Got to the party, it is like, at least I'm talking about the one that I went. There was a closet and you had to leave your purse, your phone. There was not one person in there Filming anybody. It was like super, super private. So, yeah, I think everybody felt like. Everybody that was there, we felt like we are so safe to be ourselves. And you wrote a phrase. I cannot paraphrase it word by word, but I thought it was such a powerful phrase that you. You mentioned that we all, including you, but everybody in general, we wear so many masks, so many personalities in public, but we all have this inner fantasies and the real us.
- [31:05]
Damon Loner
Yeah, well, it. It's a. It's truly amazing when you sort of like, give people permission to. To be that free.
- [31:15]
Kat
Yeah.
- [31:15]
Damon Loner
You know, it's a very strange thing. And then you take all this. No one's gonna record anything. You know, press did sneak in a few times, but for the most part, it was. It was a very private space for a hundred people. Right. And most of them are, Are, Are. You know, they're beautiful and incredible people. So. So you get that many people into a space where they feel completely safe. It's just magic.
- [31:39]
Kat
Yeah. Yeah. And I think this is the key, right, because whatever it was that people were there to explore, there were a lot of couples that just wanted to watch. There were a lot of single women like me that they want to do whatever they want to do. There were guys, there were a lot of powerful men. But whatever it was that they wanted to explore, like, if I wasn't telling the world now, nobody would ever find out.
- [32:04]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [32:04]
Kat
And 10,000 of the people that went to your parties, that's how they feel. Like most of them, they were there and nobody needs to find out about it.
- [32:11]
Damon Loner
It. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's been. Imagine having a business where no one talks about it, where. Where, like. Or. Or if they do, it's. It's just the press, like writing some crazy story that. That has nothing to do with what I'm doing. But the people that came, you know, no one gave me five star reviews, actually. It's funny. We did have a Yelp for a second, which was insane, you know, but like. Yeah, but, you know, I. I mean, I didn't put it up. Someone else put it up. Someone put up a sanctum. Yelp. Yeah. And it was like. And there were reviews on it. It was so funny. It was so funny. But. But yeah, you know, like finishing the.
- [32:48]
Kat
The million dollar story. Because I know people want to know. It is when I was laughing because you literally got a million bucks and you put them. Put it in your mattress. You literally cut a hole in your mattress and you hit the money there.
- [33:00]
Damon Loner
Yeah, you exactly know what to do. With it. And. Yeah. And then over the years, you know, that, that was, that was how I. How I, you know, lived and, and started doing other things. And I, you know, I was giving money to friends so that they could invest in their dreams, and, you know, and I started some other, you know, I mean, you know, it's. You've read it. But there was just. It was like trying to find footing again, trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And then I start. I was gonna start this retreat in Malibu, and I created, like, this Father Damon, you know, character.
- [33:32]
Kat
So let's talk about that. And the Elysian House. That was a progression after you left Sanctum, and you were trying to figure out what your next project was going to be.
- [33:43]
Damon Loner
Yeah, well, Elysian was like, Was like a, A. A fluke because I, I.
- [33:49]
Kat
So you don't, you're not. Don't do that anymore.
- [33:52]
Damon Loner
No, no. So. So I, I was going to do a. I mean, I started a restaurant, and I conceptualized the restaurant with these, with these other three people. It's called Puzzle, and it's on Sunset Boulevard, and now it's a nightclub. But. But I kind of restaurant and just do something mainstream. And so I worked with them. I put. I put, you know, $150,000 into it. And, and, and that was kind of like the last of my money. It was like, I'm going to put all my, you know, what I have left into this restaurant. And, And I started selling memberships, and we had this beautiful plan. And then one of the memberships I sold, and it was a $10,000 membership, which was the highest tier to the restaurant. And was this woman. And she invited me to dinner, and we started talking about things. And by like, the third dinner, a discussion came about about doing another elite sex party. And my feeling at that point, which was a little over a year ago, was I never wanted to do a sex party again. I was gonna, like, just do mainstream stuff, a restaurant and maybe open more restaurants. Something that, like, my, my kids could be proud of and that my ex wife could be proud of. You know, enough with sex parties. But she was very wealthy, and she said, I will pay for everything. And, you know, the budget is basically whatever it is that you need, and I'll get you whatever you want, and we'll split it 50, 50. And I was like, can I do this again? And I said, you know, I told her what. I said, we need a house in the Hollywood Hills and blah, blah, you know, this blah, blah, blah, you know, $100,000 is, is a. Is about what it costs to do this. Right. And she was like, it's no problem.
- [35:41]
Kat
Wow.
- [35:42]
Damon Loner
If you want to do it, let's do it. So I did it.
- [35:46]
Kat
I know because I. Full disclosure, I was there. Not at a sex party. I was invited to the Arctic. There was an art exhibit.
- [35:54]
Damon Loner
It was also an art gallery.
- [35:55]
Kat
It was really a really nice art exhibit. Like on a Sunday afternoon. It was really nice. It was stunning house.
- [36:01]
Damon Loner
It was a beautiful house.
- [36:02]
Kat
Was it last year or two years ago? I don't even. I think it was two.
- [36:07]
Damon Loner
I left there August, so it's been almost a year since I've left.
- [36:12]
Kat
Oh, okay. So, yeah, Anyways.
- [36:14]
Damon Loner
And so the year prior to that was. Was when. Was when.
- [36:17]
Kat
Yeah. So what happened with that? Why didn't it work out?
- [36:21]
Damon Loner
I mean, you know, I'm not ex. I wrote about why I feel it didn't work out, but I don't. I, you know, I don't know exactly. I. It started out really strong. I sold, you know, a number of memberships, very expensive tickets. You know, we took in a lot of money. We put on incredible performances, beautiful parties. And like I said, you know, we had artists come in that actually ended up staying with us and had their art on display. I mean, we had $1.7 million dildos on display that were made out of platinum and diamonds and I mean the most. And the beautiful photography of this photographer named Aaron. And, and, and Colin was the guy who did the, the artwork and, and you know, and we were attracting beautiful guests and, and things were good. But I don't know, like the, the. Somehow we, we attracted sort of these young starlets into these parties and they were all like in their 20s and there were onlyfans girls and they were porn stars, some of the biggest porn stars in the world. And so the parties were like, like, you know, couples that were paying $5,000 a ticket to get in and they're, you know, generally in their 40s, you know, 50s. And, and then, and then on the guest list I'd have 70 girls that were all 20 year old porn stars or only fans girls, which is really what LA is right now on many levels. Or, you know, at least it was last year. It probably hasn't changed much. And so I think that dynamic of like, I mean, there were men telling me like, I feel a little uncomfortable here. Like, like it was so.
- [38:08]
Kat
It did not replicate the sanctum.
- [38:11]
Damon Loner
It didn't. I mean, because. Sanctum.
- [38:15]
Kat
I don't know. I don't know how you guys did it. But the. The mix of people there was magical.
- [38:20]
Damon Loner
I mean, I was. I think.
- [38:21]
Kat
I don't know if it was the exclusivity or how you guys picked it at Sanctum.
- [38:25]
Damon Loner
It was like, a specific time, and I was so, so into it.
- [38:31]
Kat
Yeah.
- [38:31]
Damon Loner
I mean, you know, Mo. Maybe people would think that, oh, gosh, it must have been such a great time. He's just, like, having sex with all these great women, and, like, there's celebrities all around him. I mean, I would work 10, 12 hours a day. I was so. I, Like, I wanted every party, the curation, every. You know, and we'd get so many applications, and then. And then I'd. It was like I just wanted to do something so perfect and so beautiful. And I guess I can admit that at Elysian House, I didn't care as much.
- [39:03]
Kat
Yeah. You weren't as into it as you are.
- [39:06]
Damon Loner
No, I mean, you know, like, at. By Elysian, like, do I really want to be at a sex party?
- [39:14]
Kat
Right.
- [39:15]
Damon Loner
I don't really.
- [39:16]
Kat
So you just gave it up? Like, you're like, I'm done.
- [39:18]
Damon Loner
I mean, it started to just kind of disintegrate, you know? Like, people stopped buying tickets. You know, the productions were incredible, but there were, you know, tons of really hot young women running. Running around, but not kind of the level of. And nothing against these women, because I. I kind of got on Instagram afterwards, and I was like, you know, you're all troubled. I. I said stupid, and I shouldn't have, because that's. It's. Some of them are. Are a lot less troubled than I am. Okay. So, like, that was not fair of me to say. And I. You know, and I apologize in the book, and I apologize here, but. But it was just kind of not the same level of, I don't know, class and. And all of that.
- [39:55]
Kat
You know, I have to agree. It was not the same thing. Yeah, it just. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure if you can replicate that.
- [40:02]
Damon Loner
Yeah. I mean, and I. And had I. Had I been really into it, like, I was in the past. Had I been.
- [40:07]
Kat
Probably could do it again if you wanted to.
- [40:10]
Damon Loner
I. I could do it again if I wanted to, and I. But I'd have to do it different, and I'd have to really. I mean, and we can talk about this, and. And there's only one name that I've said out loud, you know, and it's Hunter.
- [40:21]
Kat
Yeah, we're gonna. I want to ask about that, but.
- [40:24]
Damon Loner
Just quickly, I'll say That. Because of that. That.
- [40:26]
Kat
Yeah.
- [40:27]
Damon Loner
You know, I don't know that I'll ever be able to do another party, you know, so.
- [40:31]
Kat
Okay, you. You. You put it in the book and everybody knows we were talking about that. Everybody had a lot of privacy. You never named names. You did name one, right? Hunter Biden.
- [40:40]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [40:41]
Kat
You ended up being tangled up in his legal la la. The details are in the book. You guys should read it. It's crazy story. Why did you do you. Looking back, why did you.
- [40:52]
Damon Loner
Why did I do that?
- [40:53]
Kat
His name. Same.
- [40:55]
Damon Loner
I mean, you know, because that's crossing.
- [40:57]
Kat
Like the massive line of everything that you did, right?
- [41:01]
Damon Loner
Yeah. I mean, it happened in 2019 when he came to the club and. And it was right before the election. Right? And then his laptop comes out and like, you know, they say it's Russian disinformation and all this stuff, and. And I was kind of like. I mean, I actually. It's like I don't even want to get political at all, but like, I, you know, I was Democrat and I voted for Biden. Biden, you know, Joe knowing what his son was because he was in my club. And I. And, you know, and I don't even want to talk bad about Hunter at all, but like. But, you know, like, then years later, then I get subpoenaed to testify, and then I get subpoenaed to testify again. And, you know, he pled guilty to the first case, but then it got thrown out and then he pled guilty to the second case and then he got pardoned. Right? So, like. So, like, I'm seeing all this happen in real time and before the second case, case, I'm just sort of in a manic space and I'm going, like, people don't know the truth. People. People are thinking, you know, we're all like, we're all just sheep and this is all bullshit. And. And. And so I just got on Instagram and I was like, you know, Hunter Biden, you know, was a member of Sanctum, and I said some nasty things.
- [42:09]
Kat
Yeah.
- [42:10]
Damon Loner
You know, and. And I shouldn't have done that. I fucking should not have done that.
- [42:13]
Kat
So you regret it?
- [42:14]
Damon Loner
I mean, I told. Of course I do, but, like. But like, I did it, you know, and. And so. And so then. Then the owner of the club sees my Instagram, which, no, you know, some people would have seen it, but it wouldn't have gone very far. But he saw that as an opportunity to throw out a press release, kick me out of the club publicly. Like, he's so great. I made up the fucking rules of the club. I. I am the one who, you know, who. Who decided no one could say a name like the whole thing was. But. But no. So he's going to be like this, this big shot guy, like, oh, I'm kicking him out for, for saying a name of a member, you know, and God bless him, I guess. But like, it turned into a media firestorm. I mean, it turned into one of the biggest stories.
- [43:00]
Kat
But listen, Damon, this is what I think you said. I could never do another part party again. Technically, and I'm not trying to convince to technically, you could, you know, you could like sign NDAs with people. I mean, there are ways, because you have like this, you're very magnetic when it comes to doing events like that. I think only you can. Like, if somebody else would try to recreate the magic, I don't think it would be the same. It's something about you and your personality.
- [43:27]
Damon Loner
I have a gift for this. You have a gift for this. I mean, obviously, but like, you know, I don't know. Would there be, would there be a time when, when that could happen? Maybe, you know, I'm not sure. I, you know, I have a new project. It's like a crypto thing that I'm doing and, and we're going to do some events with that. And I have another thing that I talk about at the very end of this, end of the book, you know, secret Garden that I've been working on with a friend. You know, there may be a time when I can do it and, and I, you know, but I have to make sure that I'm in the right space to do it, you know, so.
- [44:01]
Kat
That'S my next question to you. You are super open in the book and like I said, guys, go read it for the details about the women, the sex, the, the adventures, the drug use. You're very, very open about everything and you admit that it was like wrecking your life. Right. I think the only person you were hurting, if you think about it, was you. And of course your family, your wife. But.
- [44:23]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [44:24]
Kat
How do you feel now after you wrote the book? Must have been very cathartic, right? How do you feel now? Do you feel like you're in a better place?
- [44:31]
Damon Loner
I mean, I am like, it's hard. This has been the hardest time of my life. Because now. Yes, okay. Because I am like. And I talk about it and I've been talking about openly because I want to tell. Tell the truth. Like, I am, like, completely broke. I'm Sleeping. I'm, I'm, I'm staying at my daughter's right now, sleeping on a blow up mattress. She's 19.
- [44:55]
Kat
Oh, wow.
- [44:56]
Damon Loner
And you know, I just got back from year. I was in, I was in Spain and I was in Zurich, but you know, a friend was flying me out and giving me a place to stay.
- [45:04]
Kat
You were like in your visiting or chilling?
- [45:06]
Damon Loner
Well, I was working on, on the crypto project with him before that. I mean, I been like, it's been brutal. It's been brutal. And I got sober and I, you.
- [45:18]
Kat
Know, and I, how long have you been sober?
- [45:19]
Damon Loner
Well, I, I, I, I mean I, I'm, I started kind of like smoking weed a little bit again. Not much, but like, I'm not completely clean and sober anymore, but I'm, but I'm like, you know, I mean, I don't drink and I don't do drugs. Like if I want to. I don't know.
- [45:32]
Kat
That's a big step in the right direction, right?
- [45:34]
Damon Loner
Yeah, I, I, I know that. I just don't want to anymore, you know, and, and, and I actually like, I, I was in AA for, for five or six months. I guess I'm not supposed to, but anyway, I was in a program for many months and I have a sponsor and we're talking again. There's something, as I speak about this in the book too. I don't know, some part of me has healed during the process of writing this book. And that narcissistic, egotistical kind of asshole that I've been, truly, for a long time, I just got fucking floored and, and being homeless, you know, I mean, I've had like couches to sleep on and I've had friends that are like, come stay with me, it's okay, you're not gonna be sleeping on the street. But you know, I've had no money and I've just been like, just writing. And then, and then I started this project and now I'm back and I'm starting from square one again. I really don't know what the future holds for me, but I know that like, I've never felt so real. I've never felt so, like, true. I want to be just, just devastatingly honest with myself and others, you know, And I, and I, by the way, I haven't had sex in like over two months. And I am like the most sexual person you'll ever meet. I mean, I mean, it is how I, it is how I feel whole and it's not necessarily healthy. Like, unless I, you Know, to be with a person and to make love and to. And to, you know, and to fuck like a crazy animal. You know, like there's both in there. But like, you know, to not have that and to. And to sort of like, know that I've got to just be alone right now, you know, to continue this process of just like, being okay and healing as a man. It's been so much. I mean, I've been like. Yeah, I mean, I'm very emotional a lot like I get.
- [47:37]
Kat
But that's good. I'm gonna say something to you from my heart, I think, especially people that don't know you. I understand it's a very difficult subject every time we talk about sex, but I think you need to start forgiving yourself because you're really tough on yourself. Like you just said, I shouldn't have done this, I should have done that, I should have done that. I mean, we all make mistakes, right? Life is like a learning curve and it's ups and downs.
- [47:59]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [48:00]
Kat
And we go and unfortunately, unfortunately, when we're down, a lot of people, like my mom used to say, they buy popcorn, they sit on the front row to watch your demise. Very few people are your friends that they're like, come on, let's come back up. But I feel in you, like you wrote a book, you're being super open. And the nice thing about you is that you apologize, you admit your mistakes. Maybe it would be good if you just be more forgiving towards yourself because you are not a monster. I'm a witness of it. People were there because they chose to be there. And the people that chose to be there, there, for the most part, it was a great experience for them. I understand. It's not for everyone, right? Your world, the worlds you created, are not for everyone. But the people that make that decision or have money to pay into this world, which is the coolest part for me because people with money, they want something high end and exclusive. They were there because they wanted to be there. So you did create a safe, incredible, magical experience. So there's a lot of value to what you did.
- [49:02]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [49:02]
Kat
You know, regardless of, you know, all the cr.
- [49:05]
Damon Loner
Thank you. I'm in process of forgiving myself and learning how to love myself and being okay with who I am. You know, this book saved my life. And this book also brought me to my knees because to see myself as clearly as I do and to write as honestly as I did and to feel and to be at this bottom place in my life right now and starting over again, you know, but it. From this place, I feel like, like finally real and I can finally just, just go, go forward from here and, and, and just be like a loving, good man to the best of my ability and see what I can create now from this space. Because clearly I'm a very creative person.
- [49:57]
Kat
Yes.
- [49:57]
Damon Loner
You know, and I, and I can do interesting things and, and if my heart is in a good place and I'm, you know. Cause I have like, like I said in the book, it's just. I've acted out. I've acted out in these ways that are just not okay. And, But I've been able to see it finally. And now with that thing, I can't do it anymore. I can't do any of it anymore. Like, I can't even get fucked up anymore. I just have to, to like. And so I am. And so. Yeah. So where I go from here, it's kind of a, it's kind of an exciting time.
- [50:32]
Kat
Look, a clean sheet of paper. New beginning.
- [50:35]
Damon Loner
That's what I have. I, I, I, I. All the chalk is off the chalk.
- [50:38]
Kat
Believe me, we've all been there, you know, so. And like you said, you have a creative mind. I think you come from a good place.
- [50:45]
Damon Loner
Well, thank you.
- [50:45]
Kat
I think you come from a place.
- [50:47]
Damon Loner
I can say today, honestly, I come from a very pure place. I really do. You know, and like. And I can say that. And I can love myself for that.
- [50:55]
Kat
Yeah.
- [50:55]
Damon Loner
You know, maybe not a lot of the stuff that I, that I do feel. And I'll always feel bad about it because I don't love anything more in this life than my kids.
- [51:04]
Kat
Thank God you have your kids.
- [51:06]
Damon Loner
You know, I do. And thank God they love me because.
- [51:08]
Kat
God, you have your kids.
- [51:09]
Damon Loner
I'm very lucky.
- [51:10]
Kat
Yeah. But when is the project coming out that Brad just believe that, you know, this is, it's okay.
- [51:15]
Damon Loner
No, but this is beaut. Like, I don't.
- [51:18]
Kat
I'm happy that you're putting it all. And then I get to feel that.
- [51:21]
Damon Loner
Because I used to put all of this behind a fucking brain.
- [51:25]
Kat
But like most people do. We, like, I, like I always say, you know, we put on, on social media, on Instagram, that everything is fabulous. Everything's per. It's right. We all have our demons, we all go through our battles, we all go through war. Right. But the problem is we don't show that.
- [51:40]
Damon Loner
Right.
- [51:41]
Kat
And when you put this beautiful story out there, hopefully you inspire a lot of people going through the same.
- [51:46]
Damon Loner
That would be wonderful. If so. Yeah.
- [51:48]
Kat
You know, and And I'm sure you will still come up with some great, fantastic things.
- [51:52]
Damon Loner
I'm definitely not done yet.
- [51:53]
Kat
And it doesn't look like, you know, when does the coming out that, that Brad Falchuk is writing?
- [51:59]
Damon Loner
I don't know, like, like probably around next this time next year.
- [52:02]
Kat
Oh, wow. Okay.
- [52:03]
Damon Loner
Yeah, so they're shopping it, but yeah, a really incredible team. I could, I can the name of the, of the. I follow him on, on my Instagram, I don't know.
- [52:15]
Kat
And the book is fantastic. Guys. I'm putting the link here on the audio episode and on the YouTube episode Eyes Wide Open. Go get it. Whether you're interested in sanctum or not, whether you're interested in sex parties or not, I think it' lesson and I think part of your message is the same as my message. Like, you know, sexuality is not a dirty bad thing. It's complex, it's complicated. It's different for each person.
- [52:40]
Damon Loner
I feel that sex is the best thing in the world.
- [52:42]
Kat
Totally.
- [52:43]
Damon Loner
I mean, when you really connect with your partner.
- [52:45]
Kat
Yeah.
- [52:45]
Damon Loner
And you're in some like really deep place with them and you're making love and you're both coming and you're both just really fucking like. I feel like that's the closest and forgive me, but the closest to like oneness and God and universal just like that we can get you become one with another person.
- [53:03]
Kat
One million.
- [53:04]
Damon Loner
Now, like. Yeah, if you're, if you're talking about pornography, if you're talking about just like random people, great. That, yeah. That's kind of. Sex is meaningless.
- [53:11]
Kat
Yeah.
- [53:12]
Damon Loner
But when you, when you, when you get into it and, and, and you open your heart and your soul and you really get into it with somebody and you, and you have that safe space to do that. It's what the is better than that.
- [53:23]
Kat
Oh my God. Listen, I've been saying that since I started the podcast four and a half years ago after I left my marriage. And I realized, you know, because I'm like you, I like, I'm very sexual being and I think that's a very healthy part of life. But I always say if people were having more sex and were more open about what they want, their fantasies, their sexuality, the world would be a much better place.
- [53:44]
Damon Loner
Absolutely.
- [53:45]
Kat
Believe me.
- [53:46]
Damon Loner
Well, you know, all you have to do is be honest.
- [53:48]
Kat
Yes.
- [53:48]
Damon Loner
You know, like, like, because, because if you're honest from the, from the get go, then you'll know, okay, my partner, maybe that's not the right person for me.
- [53:55]
Kat
Totally.
- [53:55]
Damon Loner
But if you are honest with yourself to begin yeah. And say, you know what? I like this thing even though it's a kinky. Or I like this thing even though maybe that's a little.
- [54:03]
Kat
Yeah.
- [54:04]
Damon Loner
But then you might say to somebody, you know, I want to tell you that I kind of like this thing, and I'd like to explore that. That person might go, me too. And then you get to. Really. Because just like. Just like plain, you know, like, like really vanilla sex with no honesty and no exploration and nothing. I mean, come on. You're missing out on a whole universe.
- [54:29]
Kat
And, Lisa, I hope you people out there listening are gonna get inspired, and tonight they're gonna tell their partners, like, fantasies, whatever you want to do in bed. I tell you asked me at the beginning of the episode, then I'll tell you. When I went to Sanctum, it opened up. It reminded me of how much I love sex. I. I had sex with one guy only, but it was one of the most incredible. And I will die and never say who it was, because it was a very famous person.
- [54:55]
Damon Loner
Oh, beautiful. I love.
- [54:56]
Kat
He was there with the girlfriend. Wife.
- [54:59]
Damon Loner
Right, right.
- [54:59]
Kat
And she wanted me to have sex. She wanted to watch. And I'm like, yeah. And. And it was on top of a desk. It was super essential.
- [55:06]
Damon Loner
I love it.
- [55:06]
Kat
But after that experience, everything changed in my life. I was like, I will never be in an abusive relation. I will never be with a man that calls me a. Because I want to have sex or I want to do this or that. It was a massive game changer for my life. So I'm telling you, me, Catherine, you had an impact in my life. Life.
- [55:26]
Damon Loner
Thank you. Thank you.
- [55:27]
Kat
It was a really, really special experience.
- [55:29]
Damon Loner
Thank you. I really mean it. Thank you. That is good for me to hear that.
- [55:33]
Kat
It really was. I did not go again. It's not a part of my life anymore. I think sex is a massive exchange of energy. I'm in a different place now.
- [55:40]
Damon Loner
Well, also, sometimes. Sometimes you need. You experience something, and you don't need it over and over again.
- [55:45]
Kat
Exactly.
- [55:46]
Damon Loner
In fact, sometimes over and over and over and over again becomes something that's not healthy. But, like, yes, open your mind to something and experience something and find out, oh, is that. Is that going to change me? Is that. Is that something that's going to make, you know, open my consciousness to something new? And you obviously did that.
- [56:04]
Kat
I did that. And congratulations on the book.
- [56:07]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [56:08]
Kat
I wish you the best luck in the world. Let's stay in touch. You have a new friend here now that we reconnected.
- [56:14]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [56:15]
Kat
Guys, I highly recommend the read Eyes Wide Open and be safe out there. Thank you, Bluechew, for sponsoring this episode. I'm very grateful for you guys. Guys, thank you. Damon, it was a huge honor. Fantastic conversation.
- [56:27]
Damon Loner
Thank you.
- [56:27]
Kat
Be safe out there, and I'll see you guys very soon.