Podcast Summary: Kat on the Loose

Episode: "FETISHED WITH KAILA YU"
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Kaila Yu
Date: August 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this forthright and powerful episode, Kat Zammuto sits down with Kaila Yu—actress, former import model, front woman of the rock band Nylon Pink, travel journalist, and now author of the deeply honest memoir, Fetished: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism and Beauty. The discussion dives into ways women, especially Asian women, are consistently stereotyped, hypersexualized, and put into cultural boxes—both in society and the entertainment industry. Kaila courageously shares her own journey through trauma, addiction, and healing, encouraging women to reclaim their stories and embrace true empowerment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin and Meaning Behind "Fetished" (04:08)

• Kaila describes how the title changed from "Yellow Fever Hustler" due to misunderstanding of the term "yellow fever" and settled on the more attention-grabbing "Fetished."

  • "My editor was telling people about the book, and they were like, yellow fever—like malaria? ...So we were like, OK, we need to change that, because not everybody knows what it means." — Kaila [04:08]

• Definition of "yellow fever": A pattern where (usually non-Asian) men fetishize Asian women, treating them as objects or disposable, expecting particular submissive or sexual behavior.

2. The Stereotype Experience: Asian and Latin Women (04:46, 08:49)

• Kaila explains how Western encounters with Asian women were often rooted in military colonialism, which colored perceptions with stereotypes and hypersexualization.

  • "When Westerners first encountered Asian women, it was usually through military colonialism. So in those situations, they usually met prostitutes.... They just associated that with all Asian women." — Kaila [07:57]

• Kat shares parallels from her own life as a Brazilian woman stereotyped as promiscuous or overtly sexual.

  • "The stereotype that everybody has with Latin women, especially Brazilians, is they immediately associate the culture with sex...they think they’re gonna take me out on the first date and bang me." — Kat [08:49]

3. Social Media, Fetish Culture, and Viral Asian Bondage Videos (11:10)

• Kat describes witnessing an Asian bondage photo shoot in Beverly Hills, learning about a viral market for Japanese-style bondage videos.
• Kaila connects the popularity of such videos to broader issues of fetishization and the persistence of damaging stereotypes.

4. Kaila's Personal Story: Assault, Disassociation, and Aftermath (12:44)

• Kaila recounts being sexually assaulted during a modeling shoot at the age of 19 under false pretenses, leading to years of trauma and secrecy.

  • "I can't even really tell you what happened because I'm so disassociated with it...All I know was I was a virgin...No way I would want this...guy to...my first." — Kaila [13:49]

• The assault was not accompanied by overt violence, which led to confusion and lack of support when the experience came to light.

  • "Not all men can under—they're like, well, you didn’t like, scream and say no. Right?" — Kaila [12:57]

• The video from the session was eventually published, leading to a friend contacting Kaila:

  • "My very good friend called me, and he was like, I saw you in this video. And then I knew from that moment, I was like, oh." — Kaila [17:00]

• The host and Kaila discuss victim-blaming and how women are frequently held responsible for circumstances beyond their control, referencing public figures like Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson.

5. Trauma, Coping Mechanisms, and Ascending Through Addiction (19:48)

• Kaila describes her turn to drugs (starting with ecstasy and escalating to harder substances) as a coping mechanism after her assault.
  • "All of that was a coping mechanism because on the drugs, I felt good. I felt whole...so I really needed that feeling because I didn’t have it." — Kaila [19:48]

6. Cosmetic Surgery, Beauty Pressures, and Cultural Identity (20:42; 28:19)

• Kaila addresses her decision to have eyelid surgery (double-eyelid surgery) and labiaplasty, tracing the roots of these choices to societal and internalized racism as well as body dysmorphia.

  • "The surgery was invented by a white doctor...to make the Asian woman prostitutes’ eyes more attractive to military." — Kaila [21:08]
  • "I don't regret this surgery. Like, I was happy with that surgery...but if I lived in a different society...we wouldn't all feel the need to cut ourselves up to look better." — Kaila [22:02]

• Kat voices heartbreak over the pressure for Asian women to surgically alter such a core cultural feature, urging for acceptance and diversity.

7. Breaking Stereotypes and Fostering Solidarity Instead of Judgment (24:23, 25:24)

• Kaila and Kat swap stories of being judged for not fitting cultural expectations, and lament the criticism women direct at each other instead of uplifting one another.

  • "I get that a lot too, like with the blonde hair. They’re like, 'Oh, you want to be white?'....What does it mean if I dye my hair blue? What does that mean?" — Kaila [25:24]

• Criticism of famous women by other high-profile women in the media is condemned, calling for more constructive use of platforms.

8. Dating, Fetishization, and Setting Boundaries (35:42)

• Kaila explains the importance of asking non-Asian men she's dating about their dating history, looking for patterns suggestive of a fetish rather than genuine interest.

  • "If I was the third Asian woman, I’m just not going to feel special...I would still rather just be the first date...not part of a trend." — Kaila [36:12]

• They discuss the distinction between healthy preference and problematic fetishization, noting that most Asian women are acutely aware of this dynamic.

9. Representation in Entertainment (39:35; 40:34)

• Kaila acknowledges being mostly cast as background characters or sex workers in Hollywood, but notes improvements in representation.

  • "Every other time I was getting offered prostitute or massage parlor girl. So...at least I'm not a prostitute." — Kaila [39:35]

• Citing K-pop, Squid Game, and Beef as signs of growing Asian representation, though both agree much work remains.

10. Healing, Sobriety, and Self-forgiveness (42:17)

• Kaila shares her journey to recovery, emphasizing years of effort, the value of therapy, and support from sober communities.
  • "I have such a critical voice in my head...just to kind of change that into a kinder, more accepting voice. So that’s still a work in progress." — Kaila [43:17]

11. Advice for Young Women: Industry and Internet Safety (44:30)

• Kaila advises anyone seeking to enter entertainment or modeling: always exercise due diligence, bring company to shoots/auditions, and, if possible, work through a reputable agent.

12. Owning Your Story, No Matter the Backlash (46:09)

• Both agree that when a private video or image leaks, the best response is to own one's truth and not let shame or others’ judgment define your worth.
  • "Just put your truth out there." — Kat [46:09]
  • "That video now is 27 years ago. It’s like so long ago." — Kaila [46:33]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On breaking the power of secrets:

  • "I believe in...taking your secrets and just saying them because it takes the power away." — Kaila [03:28]

• On cultural beauty standards:

  • "We do live in a society where we are rewarded for our looks, right? No matter how much we want to escape the patriarchy, we live in the patriarchy, for sure." — Kaila [22:02]

• On the importance of solidarity over criticism:

  • "It’s hard enough being a woman in general because we get judged all the time." — Kat [26:29]

• On healing and self-care:

  • "You just have to...believe in yourself and be kind to yourself." — Kaila [49:10]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro and Kaila’s background: [01:15–02:36]
• Book title & concept - Yellow Fever & Fetishization: [04:08–04:46]
• Definition and experience of fetishization: [04:46–05:22]
• Cultural stereotyping (Asian & Latin women): [08:49–09:43]
• Bondage, online fetish culture: [11:10–12:08]
• Assault story and aftermath: [12:44–17:00]
• Victim blaming & public perception: [17:30–18:59]
• Pain, addiction, and using drugs for escape: [19:48–20:30]
• Cosmetic surgery, body image, cultural pressure: [20:42–24:23]
• Stereotypes, internalized racism, and resilience: [25:24–26:37]
• Critiquing women vs. supporting them: [26:37–28:00]
• Labiaplasty, body dysmorphia: [28:19–35:08]
• How to tell if a suitor is fetishizing: [35:42–38:19]
• Asian representation in entertainment: [39:35–41:46]
• Recovery, sobriety, and self-acceptance: [42:17–43:53]
• Advice for young women entering the industry: [44:30–45:38]
• Owning one’s narrative: [46:09–48:08]
• Closing: empowerment, moving forward, book info: [48:51–49:32]

Conclusion

Kat and Kaila’s conversation is an unguarded, deeply personal—and ultimately uplifting—exploration of cultural fetishization, the struggle for visibility and respect, and the journey toward self-acceptance. Kaila’s bravery in sharing her story serves as a guidepost to all women dealing with shame, trauma, or the pressure to conform: your truth holds power and healing.

“We need to be accepted for all we are. And I think it’s our job as communicators to keep breaking the stereotypes.” — Kat [24:23]

Book: Fetished: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism and Beauty
Find it at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and independent bookstores.
Follow Kaila Yu for more writing and advocacy.