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Visit t mobile.com My guest today, Abeni Nazir is a woman that I admire so much. The film director, film producer, owner of Abeni Productions, best well known for directing the psychological thriller Sin, starring Angel Love and Louis Gossett Jr. She was raised in Baltimore, Maryland and started her career as a filmmaker when she was only 15 years old. And she's really, really good at it. I met her last year I on set of a very special project she was working on a music video for her brother, musical artist I am results for the song Deep, which is a very powerful song. I was cast on a really, really important, very emotional role. Was one of the most special experiences of my life. And the minute I met a Benny, I was like, wow, this girl really knows her game. It's incredible how she commands a room. She commends the crew, the actors, she makes everything happen. I fell in love with her work and I had been wanting to talk to her ever since. Especially because I am all about finding women kicking ass in the entertainment industry and paving ways for others. So I hope you guys enjoy this very, very special conversation with Abeni Nazir. And don't forget to go after your dreams no matter what anyone says and canon the lose is gratefully sponsored by a local wonderful Los Angeles business, Gold Standard Builders, a design and construction company. Licensed general contractors. A passionate team delivering great service, quality and fair pricing. They pay great attention to every detail. The owner, Adam Kornfeld, is so hands on with his projects. That's why their clients keep going back for more. So if you guys are thinking about remodeling your homes, a bathroom, a bedroom, maybe getting your backyards ready for summer. If you're interested in doing any projects in the great LA area, these are the guys that you definitely should go to. Super reliable, super nice. Give them a call for free estimates. 1-800-46-99189. Take a look at their website for amazing photos of their projects. Www.goldstandardbuilders.com Abeni welcome to Cat on the Loose. It's such an honor to have you here.
B
I'm so happy to be here.
A
I am so happy to have you. So let's tell everybody how we met before I start bombarding you with questions because you know I'm a huge fan. You picked me and I was in heaven to be on a music video for your brother who is a very talented musician and rapper, resorts, by the.
B
Way, that's his name.
A
Yeah. And I love his work. And I'll go, I'm gonna tell you guys where you can go and see the music video. So I show up on set. You cast me to do this music video. I show up on set. I had no idea what I had to do. And I remember getting there and it was a crew, mostly men like most of the time in this industry. Right. And there you are and you are the boss lady of everything. You are producing, you are directing, you are telling everybody, watching, filming, filming with major, major, like serious equipment. Like you're not an amateur. So I looked at him like, wow, I want to know who this person is. I was very, very impressed by how well you knew your game.
B
Yeah.
A
So let's backtrack your story for people that don't know you. How did you get in this industry?
B
Like.
A
Cause you started very young.
B
Yeah, I started, I was about. Well, I started in like drawing and painting as a little kid, maybe like seven years old. And then I got into photography, maybe preteen. And I want to say around 15 is when I was like, I fell in love with film and video. And I actually, like, I don't consider myself in the industry, you know, like, I consider myself outside of the industry really because I don't strive to like work in the industry or like follow the industry rules or anything like that.
A
I love that.
B
I grew up in like peer to peer organizations and nonprofit organizations. So it was so much like passion and like love and just like it was a different approach to filmmaking. When I started film, I didn't even know it was a job. Like, I was so young and I.
A
Was just like, you looked at someone that inspired you.
B
It was so weird because like, as I was younger, I've always been so into it, like, just as a passion that I just, I got good at the skill. And people ask me like, oh, you remind me of this person or you remind me of Steven Spielberg. And I'm like, who are these people? And like, somebody had to tell me, like, Abeni, you have to do research and know who these people are because.
A
A little bit, yeah.
B
And I would just be like, oh, I don't know. Like, I don't. I'm so out the loop, to be honest with you. I love it. Like, it's really just a passion and like it's a privilege to be able to like, tell people's stories and capture it and like people open up to me. And even like when you came on set and like you were, it was so easy working with you. Like, that's a privilege for me, like, you know what I mean? Like, to be able to work with you and stuff.
A
And I really likewise, it's a privilege for an actor to work God's honest with such a good director like you. Because I've been on sets ever since I was a little kid, on and off. And I'm kind of like you. I do it. Obviously I'm not a famous actor, I'm not making millions yet, but I do it for the passion I have for the art. I love telling stories.
B
Yeah.
A
And when, like you said, when you connect with people and of course I love working with women because we don't see. See that a lot in this business and we need to talk about that. But when I meet somebody like you and I'm like, man, you're on top of your game. That's like my dream. Because you know how to give direction. You know exactly what you want.
B
Yeah.
A
And honestly, it was one of the most fun, most powerful jobs of my entire life.
B
Oh my God. Are you serious?
A
I'm dead serious.
B
That means so much to me.
A
I'm dead serious. Like, I'm not saying that because you're here. I'm saying that from the bottom of my heart. And I fell in love with you and your work. But to me, as an actor. Because it was a music video. Let's tell everybody what it was about so they understand what we're talking.
B
It was like. It was a music video, but it was like movie. It was almost like movie scenes kind of.
A
No big time. And it was very powerful.
B
Yeah.
A
Because the song is about a young guy that has a new family. Right. And I was playing the wife of this guy.
B
Yeah.
A
And they have. And he has a kid from a previous marriage. And so they're this super happy couple. And he goes out one day. No, they go out. Oh, my God. Yeah, we. We go on. On a date, like really romantic date and something horrible. I'm not going to say everything because I want you guys to go and watch the. The video. It's on my YouTube channel, it's on my social media. I'll tell you guys all about it. But basically they are on a date and they get pulled over by a cop and he dies. And the whole time you're giving me direction, telling me what to do. I was thinking like, can you imagine going through that in real life, which happens to people all the time.
B
Yeah.
A
And your brother is singing about that as you guys are telling the story.
B
Yeah.
A
So it's a very, very. It's a music video, but like I said, it's almost like a short, very short movie.
B
Yep. It's like a short film. And he wanted to, like, he wanted to have that deep aspect to it. And I was like, I love it.
A
Like, you know, so when you work with an artist, like you listen to a song, how do you create the scenes in your mind? You create everything yourself. Like, how do you put that to reality?
B
So like. So like, as of now, I don't even take work for hire anymore. And like that video, I only did it cause it was my brother. But in the past, like when I first started, when I learned that you can make money in this industry, I was taking work for hire and I was doing like tons of music videos. And what I would do, actually, I would just like talk to the artists. I would understand them and like their writing, you know, as they came up with the song. And like, just try to understand their background and what they're trying to bring to life. And then from there I'll just try to create something that represents them. Because at the end of the day, I want like, every project is different, tailored to the artists I'm working with.
A
Yeah.
B
And I try to like, bring their vision to life. I do like, add my little two cents, but it's not like What I would do is what. It's like the potential that I see in them. Or like, you know, like I would imagine, like, if they were like this super, super big successful artist with like millions and millions of followers and like, what will they bring? What will their followers want to see? And I kind of look at it.
A
From that perspective and it's not easy to bring that to life. Very few people can do that. So obviously a very creative mind.
B
Yeah, I didn't see. It's so easy for me. And like, even when I'm talking to people in there, it's like as I'm. Cause I train a lot of people too. And when it's too difficult for them, sometimes I can't work with them or I can't train them. Because you do have to have a certain mindset and a certain personality, I guess. Or maybe just a certain. I don't know what it is. It's like the it factor thing that sometimes you just gotta have it.
A
Yeah, no, absolutely. And I remember we were on set and you said to me, because you're very kind and the way you talk and everything, I wish you guys would see her work. Because when you're working, you're like, da, da, da, da. But you're very. You're very sweet. And most directors are not. And you looked at me and he said, do you mind if we use fake blood on you? And I was like, no, please do whatever you have to do. Because I understand this scene is going to be so powerful because basically I'm sitting with my husband and in a car and we are having the most romantic date night. And literally his brain is gonna get blown up. Varai is gonna die in front of. So I completely understood. And you were so kind asking. And for me, as an actor, I was so into it. I was like, I would do anything in this world, but it is very powerful and very emotional. It's very easy to touch you. Because the whole time I was thinking, I cannot believe that so many people actually go through this.
B
You're like living it almost in the film.
A
Yes. You have to, because we were there and it was very long day of shooting. I think most people don't even realize, like, to do a four or five minute music video, how many hours of work? Right. You have to be insanely dedicated.
B
Yeah.
A
So by the time we did that scene, I think it was the last one. It was maybe 14 hours into it.
B
Wow. I'm not even realizing how long.
A
Yeah.
B
Don't get me in trouble. Did I feed you Guys, did we take breaks?
A
I took many breaks. You fed us so much. She's crazy. She had this whole room in the house. Oh, yeah, it was a treat room. This entire room in the house had cupcakes, cookies and candy and this and that and that and that. All kinds of food. Yes, we were very well treated. But you know, just to put it in perspective for people that are not in this industry, it's not like you show up and you do like, you spend many, many hours to show. So when people watch like a four or five minute. And then you, you spend many more hours after that editing and everything, putting it together.
B
And I edited the project myself as well. Yeah.
A
Yeah. So for me, normally it's. Honestly, it's very easy for me to cry on cue because I'm very emotional by nature.
B
Yeah.
A
But that day it was even easier.
B
Wow. What's your zodiac sign?
A
Pisces.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Why, what's yours?
B
Scorpio. But see, Pisces and Scorpio are so compatible.
A
Really.
B
And like we're so emotional together.
A
Scorpio is emotional.
B
Very emotional.
A
I don't know anything about Scar.
B
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Scorpio and Pisces are like, are like perfect compatible signs.
A
I know that Pisces. Everybody makes fun of me because I cry all the time. I cry when I watch movies. I cry when I see the news. I cry when I see something I like. And so when I have to act, they're like, can you cry? I'm like, oh, yeah, give me a minute. But obviously some situations it's harder because I'm not that touched. But with the story of this music video, the song is called Deep, by the way. So if you guys want to go watch it, it's on my YouTube. It's on your brother's YouTube channel, on your brother's Instagram. So I'll put the link on this episode because it's really, really worth. It's beautiful work. But yeah, that day I was like, okay, I can cry all day because I can't imagine a family going through that. And many times there's no justice.
B
Right.
A
People just get killed by cops or whatever, by other people obviously. And so much violence on there and there's no justice.
B
Yeah.
A
So, okay, going back to all the stuff you do, you start at 15, you weren't inspired by anybody. You, you just did it because you love it. You self taught how to use all this equipment and everything. So how did you get into making movies? Because it's not easy to get in this Industry at all.
B
Well, I guess I like, because I think that the. What made it easy is just not thinking that I was trying to get in the industry, because it's, like, even hearing it, it sounds weird because I never remember myself trying to get into the industry.
A
Maybe that's why you were.
B
Maybe that's why I was able to. Because I never thought of it that way. I was just. Literally, I would have ideas where, like, I would meet people and I would be like, oh, my. Like, you know who people did inspire me? It was the people. Like, real people, just everyday people. I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, and the people there really inspired me. Like, there are stories and stuff I would witness. Like, I would witness just stories, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I want to capture this. Not to exploit you, but to, like, for you to say what you learned from it or for other people to experience it through film and learn something from it. So, like, I guess that was my inspiration. And then just, like, making social change media, like, media that will impact the community or the society or the culture. You know what I mean? Like, I was so into it, and don't ask me why, I have no idea. Like, maybe I was just raised that way. Like, my parents were just.
A
Were they supportive of.
B
Very supportive. Oh, that's very supportive, right? Yeah, helps.
A
Big time.
B
They were very supportive. Like, even if I needed, like, my mom or my dad to, like, be an actor, like, they would totally do it. Like, you know, they was just like, whatever I needed from.
A
Oh, my God, that's amazing, because a lot of people don't have that.
B
Yeah, I have. And I have a big family, so, like, my entire family was super supportive.
A
That's not.
B
And they still are.
A
Oh, now? I mean, come on. Now?
B
Yeah.
A
You don't care about the industry, but I really, really see you, like, on stages winning awards. Very.
B
Yeah. And, like, that's crazy because I don't. I never, like, strive for it or imagine that, per se, but I guess it just comes with it.
A
Yeah, But I think that I always believe in that. I think the more you do it from your heart, anything you do. I say that about my podcast, all my work, no matter what I do. I think in order for the audience to connect with you and for your work to come out, like, good, you can't just do it thinking about dollar signs. Right. Or, like, oh, my God. I think it has to come from a place of love, passion, like, you said, kindness. Or, like, I need to tell the story. It has to be a Different reason for sure.
B
Like it has to be passion driven. And for me, like even me being a Scorpio, since I am very emotional like that too. I can't even like when I'm in rooms or spaces that don't have that like love aspect or when it's too businessy, it doesn't work for you. Like I can't work like that. And people will tell me like, you can't. You need to stop mixing business with pleasure. Or like fam. Don't work with your family or like, you know, people will. People in the industry will try to teach me how to take that love away from my work. But whenever I do that, I'm not successful and I like, I just had to figure out what works for me.
A
Yes. You have to follow your gut. I know. It's funny how people always try to change us to adapt to something that they think is the right thing to do.
B
Yeah.
A
Especially in the entertainment industry.
B
Yeah. Which was usually. Those rules are usually created by men.
A
Yes.
B
And. And it's like, and of course men aren't gonna lead with like emotion or you know, they're big on not incorporating the two. But that literally is what got me so successful.
A
Yeah. So let's talk about that for a minute. Because this is a male dominated industry.
B
Right.
A
It's like I don't know the percentage, but most of the time when you walk on any set, movie, tv, videos, commercials, it's like mostly men, especially directors.
B
Yeah.
A
And I, I think it's amazing that there are certain women really paving the way and knocking doors. And like you said, we are not going to stop talking, we're not going to stop telling stories.
B
Yeah.
A
And I think it's really, really important. Did you feel any obstacles in your way when you started making movies? Because you're eight year old woman, you're a black woman from Baltimore, you're gorgeous. By the way, if you guys are listening to the episode, do me a favor and go watch the videos. Because you could be a model, obviously you could be a top model. You know that you photograph insanely well. You're, you're kind and sweet, but you decided, I'm going to make movies, which I love. And you're. And then you said, I'm going direct.
B
Yeah.
A
Which is really tough because like you said, when you're directing, you have many people on a set, many people. You got to deal with the actors, you got to deal with background, you got to deal with the crew. Na na. It's really tough. Did you feel being a Woman made it harder for you when you started?
B
No, I didn't. Like, for some reason it was like. It was so easy for me and I just didn't think of it that way. Like, especially like the more people, the funner I have, like getting everybody into character and like bringing the vibe and the love into the room and like making sure everybody is like comfortable and ready to do the work. And like, I felt like me being a woman made it a little bit easier and I was able to like squeeze through some cracks, you know, since I was like a pretty girl or you know, like. I don't know, like for me, maybe I just used it to my advantage. But you know, one thing that's very smart. Yeah. I just use it. Like I don't think of things of the negative aspect. So I don't even like, know what. And maybe there was negative aspects that I just didn't realize.
A
Yeah, that's a fantastic way to go about work.
B
It was. One thing that I do notice though is that. Which it doesn't bother me because again, I use it to my advantage. But a lot of times if I'm meeting with somebody or meeting someone for the first time, and if I have my father with me or my boyfriend at the time, Chris, he would be with me all the time when I was working, they would just confront the men and they would just stop, as you always said. Like, they would just ignore me as like, I'm not a baney from a baney productions and I'm the one that's making everything come together. They would just kind of like not even acknowledge me and just talk to the men that the men don't even know.
A
Maybe you were afraid of the man that were with you.
B
Maybe. I have no idea. See, I didn't even think about it. I don't know if it's cause I was a girl. And they just addressed like when you have a man and a woman, you usually just address the man. I don't know what it was.
A
Which shouldn't be that way. Cause it's your name. Like the title of your. It's your company. It's a Benny Productions. You're the boss.
B
Yeah, right. But since I have my family with me, like my dad or my boyfriend, they just assume that, well, these men must be doing it for her or helping her or financing her or whatever like that. Which was never the case. But. But I did get that. But again, I would use that to my advantage. Like I would play green when. When it was helpful for me or like it just didn't bother me, you know? I don't know. I don't know. I was just like.
A
You're just always so cool and chill about everything. Like, you're like, whatever. I'm just.
B
Yeah, I was just like. I was like, you know what? Good, because I got other stuff to worry about. So you go talk to these people since they want to talk to you, and I'll go over here.
A
You didn't even care.
B
Yeah, I didn't care.
A
I think I would. It's funny because you're usually. The scar feels like you're a little more, like, you know, fiery. And I'm very emotional, but, like, if I were in this situation and somebody wouldn't address, I'd be like, excuse me.
B
Yeah, no, but see, I'll say that. But I'll say that in my head. Like, I'll. In my head, I'll be thinking, like.
A
My head makes my mouth speak.
B
Yeah, it is. It was. It was okay, though. I see the beauty in the situation. So, yeah, it didn't bother me.
A
That's amazing.
B
Yeah.
A
So how many movies have you made so far?
B
Well, as far as feature films, like, I have a ton of, like, shorts and stuff like that. But as far as a feature film, I have one complete called Sin, and it's starring the late Luke Gossett Jr. Who just passed away. Like, legendary actor. And it's tons of other actors. Angel Love, Marquan Smith. I mean, there's, like, tons of actors. I wish I could name everybody, but there's so many, and they're, like, blocking my head. Sean Nelson.
A
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B
Bella Black, who actually plays Sin. So that was my first feature we shot in Atlanta. And then my next feature is a horror film which I'll shoot starting July 22nd.
A
Okay. I volunteered to audition for that.
B
Yes.
A
I'll be so happy to do anything for you again, like, just to be on your set. And I'm not kidding you guys. Like, if you are. Anybody that likes acting, anybody that likes movies, if you watch her work, and I wish you could see her work because it's very inspiring. Like, to me, it's a really big deal. I love when I'm on a set and I see girls, women, because it's very rare, number one. But to see a woman that really knows what she's doing and taking charge and telling stories, I think that's very powerful because we need much more of that. And I think you were very lucky in many ways that you didn't see resistance because of the fact that you're a woman, but because unfortunately, like you said, there's still so many stereotypes towards women in, in entertainment. They, like, there's. No matter what we do, like, like you said, they think if you're a movie producer, director, oh, somebody's paying for. Somebody's backing her up.
B
Yeah.
A
If you do a pod. I get asked that all the time. Do a podcast. Oh, but how are you paying for it? Like, how I pay. I'm paying right now. I work seven days a week, dude. I don't have a sugar daddy. I don't have a dad daddy. I don't have a husband. And my sponsors pay for it because they like my work. Exactly. But, but I, I get annoyed sometimes when I get these questions because I don't think people ask that from a guy. Like, if you see a guy directing a movie, I don't think anybody has the ball, should say, oh, who's funding it? Your wife.
B
Right, right.
A
Or even a podcast. Like, you see a successful podcast, nobody would say to him, like, I'm sorry, but who's helping you? Like, with all this shit? Who pays for your stu? We don't do that to men. No, men are much more respected, like in what they do than we are.
B
You know what? I like hearing you talk. One thing that I did notice and I won't like drop any names or whatever, but when I was younger and when I was just like trying to like, like I was trying to. So I had a mentor, Kevin Lyles. And he was, he's in the industry executive for 300 Entertainment. He used to work with Def Jam. So he's like super in industry. So when he was mentoring me and I was like work kind of working under him, I was just young and didn't really know what direction I was going in. And I was just working with whoever I could. And I did notice like resistance because I was a young female that I felt like people would stereotype me or think like, like maybe I'm just screwing everybody in the industry or maybe like almost like they would try to give me a hard time because I was a young female and they didn't want me to like take their place or get like they didn't want their man to be attracted to me. I did have that.
A
Yeah.
B
And again that it was weird. Like I was just thinking like, like I can't help like I'm not on that. Like, you know what I mean? But it's like I can't help like how I look like whatever or like to your man or whatever. But we're not like that or whatever. But I did get that energy. But that's the only other thing I can think of.
A
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B
Right?
A
Let's walk.
B
And that's the first thing I think. I'm like, I'm thinking like, because, you know, I come from family oriented type stuff, so it's like, I'm thinking like family and like team and, you know, but it just like when people did that, it let me. It helps me to set boundaries and it lets me know that it's like I shouldn't be working with that person anyway because they have something they're going through or they have setbacks or insecurities. So. And a lot of times when I did try to work in the industry, I got that energy. And that's why I don't work in the industry. Because when I work, when I just stay in my own lane and do my own thing, I only get, like, love and like, good people to work with and, like, good vibes. So I was just like, yeah, that's not for me.
A
But that's so important. I completely agree with you because I believe in energy and I want to be surrounded and it's fun because I just said that to him before you got here because I said, hi, good morning, how are you? And he's like, I'm great. And I said, thank God. Because every day I see someone that I'm going to work with and they're like, oh, you know, And I don't want to be around people that are negative or looking at me, because looking at me, it's like you said some kind of threat to their work. Because I don't want to be a threat to anybody. You know, I want to do my thing and share my message and tell stories and meet amazing people like you and collaborate. Yeah, I don't want to cause any troubles.
B
I don't want no trouble.
A
No trouble. Exactly. And we don't want anybody's man, by the way.
B
We don't want none of y' all man, like, no, exactly. Like, you have no idea that you do not have the man I want.
A
Right. You do not. Speaking of men, are you single now?
B
I am single now because I think.
A
When we were doing the.
B
So I was in a relationship for 15 years.
A
Holy shit.
B
And now that guy with that.
A
That was there, I forgot.
B
Chris.
A
Yeah, Chris. Oh, damn.
B
He's a great guy. Like, we're still friends. And, like, imagine being with somebody for 15 years.
A
You're basically family for 14 years.
B
You're divorced now.
A
Yes. Such a long story. Yes.
B
Oh, my God.
A
I was divorced. He died. I started my life, but my marriage was not happy. It's a lot other. Other episode. Other episode. But, yeah, we were best friends, so. Yeah. It's a lifetime. 15 years is a lifetime.
B
15 years. Especially for me. I'm 32 now. I met him while I was around 16 when we started dating. So, like, my entire growth.
A
Yeah. Was with me.
B
He was with me. And we broke up last Christmas.
A
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
B
I am. I'm actually great.
A
You look at her smile.
B
I'm great. But it's like.
A
I mean, Chris, I'm sorry if you're listening, because you're a really nice guy. I met you. He's super.
B
He seems so nice. He is. He's an amazing guy.
A
And you guys had a great work vibe.
B
Yeah.
A
Really good. Yeah.
B
He helped me a lot. I felt like. And like he could speak for himself, but, like, I don't. I feel like in the relationship, it was like him just not being secure with our relationship or, like, I felt like as I grew into the woman I was becoming, it was like. Like we were just growing apart.
A
Yeah. Well, I mean, I can understand that because you started the relationship like you said. You were a teenager then you are with one person as you're growing up.
B
Yeah.
A
And then you become an adult. You're the same person. Probably a lot of things changed a lot in your head, and maybe you need a little breathing room to figure out exactly what you want.
B
Yeah.
A
And maybe if you guys are meant for each other, you never know the future.
B
You never know.
A
But are you dating and mingling? You want to take the fifth of this one? I think she doesn't want to say it, but I think you are, because I know I'm going to get messages from guys like, I want to meet this chick.
B
Yeah. Like, I'm open to dating right now. I'm just really, like, focusing on myself and, like, working and stuff. So I'm not, like, focused on dating.
A
Yeah. I Hear.
B
But I am open. I just don't want to go looking for somebody. And so like, I learned a lot. Like, I just learned a lot as an adult woman. And like when I was younger, how I even got with my boyfriend, I like hunted him down. And I'm learning that you're not supposed to do that. Like, you know, like you're supposed to let the guy.
A
You hunted him down when you were.
B
I was so he was older. He was a little older than me. He remind me of Huey P. Newton. He was running like this nonprofit organization activacy and stuff and like doing protests. And I was like, he will be my boyfriend whether he likes it or not.
A
You're a powerful boy.
B
I literally like stalked him.
A
Guys, watch out. She gets what she wants.
B
And I kind of like forced it. Like, so I don't. I'll never do that again. Like, you know what I mean? Like this time I'm not like, I don't know.
A
I mean, it worked. You guys were together.
B
It worked. Yeah, it did.
A
You look at someone like, you're going to be mine. I don't care if you want to.
B
I don't care what you think. But yeah, I'm manifesting this. So that's pretty much how that relationship works. So with this one, um, I'm trying, like with my next relationship, I'm trying not to do that. Like I'm just, you know, trying to just live in my best version of my take care of self care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
We're on the same page. Because I want to be in a relationship, but I can't. I'm really taking my time with this.
B
You know what I think too? Like, I. I think that, like, I think that I want to date either like, like maybe like older men or it's like I'm just learning a lot.
A
Much older, right?
B
No, I'm thinking like too much older.
A
That. Well, I don't know. I don't recommend that.
B
You don't recommend?
A
Why?
B
Well, I.
A
My. During my marriage, so my husband was much older. And now kind of looking back, I think at some point, because you need to have the same energy levels, you know, the same lifestyle, the same goals. A lot of. So if you go like, let's say I'm saying much older. My husband was 20 years older than me.
B
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. 20, 30 years older. Like, I need a man. Man. A grow man.
A
A man.
B
I need a grown man.
A
I know, but a man usually in their 50s and 60s, they might be in a different wavelength. Like, oh, I want to pick the fruits of my work and I want to travel the world and I want to kick back. And if you are like full power, like, career, like, at least, and I'm going to be on a set for 12 hours, for 14 hours, I want to do my thing, you know, it might clash.
B
So what do you think about dating, like, younger? What if I go younger? So like 22, 23.
A
I'm super open minded to everything. I think, like, whatever makes you happy. Life is short for me. I don't like younger guys and it's funny because they hit on me all the time. Hilarious. Have you tried, like, I don't know, they just text me on Instagram and shit.
B
You haven't tried to date a younger guy?
A
I have. And I just feel like I have nothing to say to you. You haven't been through the things I have been through in life. I don't think you're mature enough because I think guys take way longer than we do to mature. Even sex, like a lot of girls say, oh, but the sex is gonna be great because they have more energy, but it's not the right energy because I don't think they know how to do exactly what I want them to do.
B
But have you tried it?
A
Yes, I have and I did not have good experiences with it.
B
It might have been just that guy.
A
So. Yeah, it might. So again, I am open minded.
B
It might have just been. You might have had the wrong.
A
I'm open minded. Because you never know, right? You could meet a younger guy. That is crazy mature.
B
Yeah, I don't know.
A
I think it's all like, let's analyze case by case. Yeah, yeah, but you gotta keep, I think the most important thing, honestly, and I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm just saying what I learned from doing the podcast. The most important thing that people forget, right? They say, oh, I'm in love. Oh, like I have, I have this chemistry. You need to have compatible lifestyle.
B
For sure.
A
Because listen, this is what blows up. Marriage is like even a silly example, but it's in the media right now, all the time, every day. JLO and Ben. Why is it blowing up? Because they have like day and night lifestyles. Like, you can love each other like crazy and you can have sex like bunnies, but week after week after week after week, if one person wants to live in la, right, and work like a workaholic maniac like you and I are, or like Jayla, she's super career oriented and another person wants to Retire and chill and, like, you know, living in the mountains. And it's not gonna work. One of the two is gonna be unhappy for sure. So I don't think it's so much the age, because people really focus on that. Right. I think you need to, like, when you meet somebody, ask them that question, like, what do you want to do?
B
Yeah.
A
How much do you work? Like, what is your lifestyle? You know, do they accept your lifestyle? Like, if you're on a set for 14 hours, is he going to be like this nice, supportive partner that's going to be there for you?
B
Yeah, no, Yeah, I totally agree.
A
I think that that needs to be the, you know, the. The key. But who the hell am I? Listen, I'm still. I don't know shit about. I keep making mistakes. So what's next for you? So this movie coming up.
B
Yeah. I have a horror film that is called Rush and I'll be film. It's about a sorority that. That basically their sorority houses on this native land. And there's a killer in the sorority and it awakens the spirits from the native land. And the spirits. Well, I won't tell the whole.
A
Yeah, don't tell them. Who wrote the movie?
B
Did you write? So my dad, Chris, my ex, and Keambra. So I had three writers. It started with my dad writing, and then Chris came on and then Keambra.
A
I love that. It's like a family affair.
B
Yeah. All my work is like that. It's so. And even like, people that work. So I'm launching my production company at Bayney Productions this year, and pretty much everyone who works for my company is like, family. Like, I'm super. And people tell me all the time, like, baby, don't do that.
A
Don't do that.
B
Why I don't. They say not to mix family and business and, like, not to treat your people that work for you. Don't treat them like too much like family or. I don't know. People have been telling me that my.
A
Whole career, it depends what kind of relationship you have with your family. Right. If you have an amazing relationship with your family, which obviously you do, then you're never going to trust anybody more than you trust your family.
B
Yeah. And it's like, when I think of my legacy and, like. Like, honestly, like, I'm really not like a super hard worker. Again, this is just my passion. It happened to make money. I happen to be successful. I would much rather have a man that's a provider that, like, I could just kind of like, I could just do my Little movies.
A
I believe you. Yeah.
B
No, I'm so serious.
A
Like, even if you have a man that is, like, providing for you, whatever, you're still gonna be like, I wanna make this movie. I wanna make this movie.
B
Oh, yeah. Like, but it won't be for the income. It'll just be for the passion of me telling a story.
A
But isn't it rewarding? Like, if you. If one of your movies gets picked up or people find out about it or it makes money, don't you feel like it's something you deserve?
B
No. Yeah, it is. It's nice. But it's nice to me. Like, I fall in love with the process more than the outcome.
A
Yeah.
B
So, like, for me, like, just making it and experiencing people and meeting people and, like, learning from them and, like, us working together and, like, knowing that I gave people jobs, like other people jobs, and I impacted somebody and, like. Like, to me, that's more rewarding than just, like, how much money I made from the project or an award. Like, it just doesn't.
A
Oh, yeah. No, you have to be like that. And I think that's a big mistake that a lot of people that move to Hollywood make. Right. They come here and they think, I'm gonna be rich and I'm gonna be famous.
B
Yeah.
A
And I think these are the two biggest mistakes in terms of goals. Because you're skipping everything that is your part.
B
You're skipping all the fun parts.
A
Exactly. The fun part and the parts that should. The most important parts. Like that if you miss all of that, you're not going to be rich and you're not going to be famous.
B
Yeah.
A
And I think your audience is going to notice even, like, some actors, because I have many friends that are directors, many friends that are casting directors, and they say that we notice when the actor is here for the wrong reasons. Like, you know, it shines through that they're just doing that. Like a robot or something. That it's not there.
B
Is not genuine. Yeah.
A
Do you notice that, like, when you work with an actor, when somebody's on set, do you notice, like, okay, this person really loves what they do, and this person is just here, like, whatever, for a few bucks?
B
Well, the person that's just here for a few bucks won't even make it to set. So it's like they don't. They. They don't even make it, you know, Like. Yeah, like, so I don't. And not just actors, but anybody. Like, I nip stuff in the bud really quick. Like, if it's not the right energy I'd be like, this not going to work.
A
I love that.
B
So it's like, I don't even get that far. Like, when you show every. If you notice, like, everybody who showed up on set were like, super good energies. Like, I like. I like forming teams and, like, bringing the right people together so everything runs smoothly. Like, I don't got time for the people who have the wrong intentions or.
A
Yeah, I love that because I'm the same. And I did notice that. And I've been on many, many, many sets. And this was by far one of my. And I wrote that on my Instagram. And I mean that with all my heart.
B
It makes me so happy.
A
No, and I'm saying that, no joke, with all my heart. It was one of.
B
For.
A
For an actor. It was a gift. I. I mean, I should have paid you. No, no, because it was such a rich experience for me as a human, because I know it's something that. And, And I mean, your brow, your brother should be so proud. Because it's something that. Very sad that happens on the streets of the United States all the time. People getting murdered, people getting killed by mistake, you know, police brutality, especially in poor neighborhoods. I think it's something that we should definitely talk more about and put out there. And it was just as much as my scene was just a few scenes, but very powerful scenes. So it was a role much meatier than many indie movies that I've done. And it made me grow so much as a person, and it made me reflect, and it just refueled my fire as an actor. And I am like you. I take jobs that many times I don't get paid or I get paid. Like, obviously it doesn't even pay my bills, but I do it for the passion that I have for telling stories. And working with you was like an honor and a gift, and I hope we do it many more times.
B
See, that to me is like, that's priceless. It's like no award can. Like, what's the award? When I can hear that from you? Like, you know what I mean? It's like, what?
A
No, I feel the same way. And I.
B
Especially if I had a provider, man, it's like, okay, my bills are paid already. So as long as I'm getting these type of feedbacks, that's what really drives me. Like, honestly.
A
And I. I understand where you're coming from, because I'm the same. The only reason why we take the money is because we have bills to.
B
We have bills. Like, honestly, if I didn't have any Bills. I wouldn't. I really wouldn't even care. Like, I would give stuff out for free. Like, I would.
A
Yeah, I would do. I would do the podcast for free. Well, which I do for 90% free. But I would act every day. Yeah.
B
Like, I would tell you, I would.
A
Go to sets every single day just for the passion of telling stories. And I think we need more women, you know, that hopefully get inspired by what you do, that say, you know what? I can do it too.
B
Yeah.
A
Because we don't have enough.
B
Yeah, I know. From a horror film. I have a female ad, a female line producer, female production coordinator. Like, I have. My team is heavy females on this horror film. And I'm so happy about it.
A
I love that.
B
Yeah.
A
I am in line for anything. Any project you need me, I am there.
B
Yeah. I'll send you some sides so you could do a reading.
A
Thank you so much. I really appreciate having you here. You are incredible. Congratulations on all your success. I know, and I think that's extraordinary from you because it's so rare in this industry, but you have a big heart. You don't care about awards. You don't care about big money. But you know what? I see all these things in your future, and I'm not a psychic, but I see these things in your future because I want to see a woman like you. And I'm a good manifesto, too. Like, you manifested your guy. I literally picture you on a stage saying, you know what? I don't give a fuck about this award, but I'm here collecting. I'm here because this is for all the women there that, you know, maybe sitting at home because there are so many little girls, you know, I get messages from all over the world, and maybe you get message that say, oh, my God, you know, this is impossible. Oh, my God, I'm never gonna get it. You can for sure you can. Especially minorities like us, because, you know, I'm a minority as I'm a Latin actor that people don't even. I tell people that I'm an American. They're like, what do you mean? Yeah, What, You've been here your whole life. No, you haven't. You're lying. You have this accent. So I have the same problem. And I get stereotyped, and I get all this shit that I don't even care about because I know I'm very unusual because of how I look, but I always like telling my story. Because if there is younger girls out there that feel it's possible for them to do what we do, that's what drives. Helps me for sure. And you are incredible, and it's an honor to have you here on Canada.
B
I'm so happy that I came.
A
I'm very happy you came. And congratulations on everything you do. You are amazing. And let's say one more time, tell me your Instagram, because we haven't said that.
B
All right, My Instagram is Abenie Nazir. A B E N I N a.
A
Z E R. So, guys, follow her because she's insane. And your videos are fun because you're gorgeous. You do all kinds of fun stuff around town. You share a lot about your work, behind the scenes about entire life. The music video that we were talking about that I was in, watch it. You guys are going to love it because your brother is a fantastic artist. I really hope he reaches the sky as well because he deserves it. His name is I am Results. And the music video, the song is called Deep and It's on my YouTube channel, cat on the Loose podcast. It's on my Instagram. Katzamoto. It's on my podcast, Real Cat on the list. It's all over the place. But I'm gonna put all the links on this episode so you guys can see what we're talking about and you can see her beautiful face.
B
Thank you.
A
Thank you very much. And I think the message for this episode is go after your dreams, right? Okay.
B
Go after it to the fullest. Don't let nobody stop you or hold you back.
A
Go for it. You're amazing. Thank you very much. This is very special to me. And I'll see you guys very soon. Be safe out there.
B
Bye.
Episode: FILM DIRECTOR ABENI NAZEER
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Abeni Nazeer
Release Date: June 19, 2024
In this vibrant and candid episode, Kat Zammuto sits down with Abeni Nazeer: film director, producer, and owner of Abeni Productions, best known for the psychological thriller Sin and acclaimed music videos. Together, they explore what it's like to be a woman thriving in a male-dominated film industry, the power of storytelling to spark social change, and personal journeys of passion, identity, and resilience. Their conversation is rich with humor, emotion, and insight—a testament to both women's unfiltered perspectives and determination.
"When I started film, I didn't even know it was a job... I grew up in peer-to-peer organizations and nonprofit organizations, so it was so much like passion and love—just a different approach to filmmaking." (05:18)
"I just try to create something that represents them... what would their followers want to see?" (09:08)
"I don't think of things as the negative aspect... Maybe there was negative aspects that I just didn't realize." (20:40)
"They would just ignore me... not acknowledge me and just talk to the men." (21:24)
"It was a music video, but like... almost like a short film. Very powerful and very emotional." (08:42)
"If it's not the right energy I'd be like, 'This not going to work.'" (43:07)
"Let's collaborate... There's room for everybody. We can tell endless stories." (30:03)
"I'm open to dating right now. I'm just really, like, focusing on myself and working." (33:54)
Follow Abeni Nazeer on Instagram: @abeninazeer
Watch the Deep music video featuring Kat on YouTube and social channels (links in the episode notes).
Host’s closing mantra:
"Go after your dreams, to the fullest. Don't let nobody stop you or hold you back." (48:57)