IT'S JUST PHAT BABY! With Dominique Toney & Ria GIbson

Summary

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Kat on the Loose: IT'S JUST PHAT BABY!

With Dominique Toney & Ria Gibson
Date: November 20, 2024
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guests: Dominique Toney & Ria Gibson

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Episode Overview

This episode of Kat on the Loose tackles the sensitive yet universal subject of body image, weight loss journeys, and the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. Host Kat Zammuto is joined by Dominique Toney and Ria Gibson, authors of the new book and journal It's Just Phat Baby. Through an open, real, and empowering conversation, the women share their deeply personal stories of growing up in bodies that didn't meet societal standards, overcoming bullying, cycles of dieting, and ultimately embracing self-worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Story Behind "It's Just Phat Baby"

[05:48 – 08:21]

• Book Genesis: The book is a result of the authors’ lifelong friendship and shared experiences with being overweight from childhood through adulthood. Their candid conversations evolved into a desire to help others heal through transparency.

  • "We always hoped we would grow out of it, grow out of our baby fat. And we never did. We just got bigger... What if we really shared with people how we healed, what we could do to really help somebody else, to not have to go through what we went through?" – Ria Gibson [08:55]

• Inclusion of a Journal: Dominique’s love for journaling inspired the reflective prompts after each chapter, inviting readers to pause and process their own journeys.

  • “When she presented that idea...it was more so making sure people had that reflective piece as they read along with us.” – Dominique [06:36]

2. Universality of Body Image Issues

[08:21 – 09:56]

• Kat notes that regardless of geography or background, everyone can relate to feeling dissatisfied with their appearance at some point.
• The co-hosts discuss how societal and cultural pressures affect everyone, not just women who are overweight.

3. Impact of Bullying & Social Media

[10:57 – 14:01]

• Early Bullying: Both Dominique and Ria share stories of childhood bullying over body size, emphasizing the long-term emotional scars.
  • “Bullying is not a reflection of the victim's character, but rather a sign of the bully's lack of character.” – (Quoted by Kat from the book) [12:28]
• Social Media Amplification: They are relieved not having grown up with social media, expressing concern for today’s teens who face relentless online scrutiny.

4. The Pressures Placed on Women vs. Men

[16:02 – 18:13]

• Kat: Points out that women disproportionally bear the burden of body scrutiny, while men face more career/financial pressures.
  • “Women, I feel like it’s just more appearance based. But...now too, times have changed—we have just this equal amount of pressure, not only to look good...” – Dominique [16:11]
• The programming runs deep, referencing the iconic “Barbie” body and how it entrenches unrealistic beauty ideals.

5. Relationship to Food & "Emotional Eating"

[19:27 – 20:56]

• Both guests open up about their relationship to food, describing emotional eating as a coping mechanism for stress, sadness, or celebration.
  • “Food is the center of everything that we do, whether it’s something positive or negative.” – Dominique [19:27]

6. Weight Loss Surgery: The Realities

[22:50 – 25:26]

• Dominique details her decision to undergo a gastric sleeve surgery after years of unsuccessful diets, exercise, and plateauing.
  • “My struggle with weight was literally from birth...it just felt like for me, the older I got, the harder it was for the weight to come off.” – Dominique [22:50]
• Highlights the intensive mental and medical preparation required, and stresses the importance of not seeing surgery as a "quick fix."

7. The Essential Role of Self-Love

[29:23 – 33:30]

• Self-love is framed as the core from which all positive change springs.
  • “No matter what happens, no matter what we look like...we love ourselves. Regardless of how others have treated us, we love ourselves. And now, because we know our worth, we know we’re no longer willing to accept that, no longer willing to compromise.” – Ria Gibson [29:54]
• Self-worth acts as a shield against bullying and the opinions of others. It’s not about being completed by another, but being whole and demanding respect.
  • “You have to be whole. You have to like you by yourself and with another person. And when you do that, people will treat you better because you demand a different level of respect.” – Ria Gibson [30:53]
• Kat notes how it took decades to reach self-acceptance, a journey many listeners will relate to.

8. Social Comparison & the Trap of Imitation

[35:14 – 37:27]

• They criticize the harmful cycle of aspiring to celebrity or influencer perfection—especially the “Kardashian effect”—and urge women to strive for the best version of themselves, not someone else.
  • “Once you start trying to make self improvements to impress other people, you have a problem...You’re never going to please anybody. You're going to live a miserable life trying to spend your life pleasing other people.” – Dominique [35:53]

9. Empowerment Through Community and Sharing

[39:18 – 44:11]

• The hosts reflect on the catharsis of being vulnerable, both in the book and on the podcast.
• There’s a strong call for women to support each other and create positive spaces.
  • “If you feel like you’re going through a tough time, tough times don’t last long.” – Dominique [44:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bullying:
  • “Hurt people hurt people.” – Dominique [12:52]
• On Living for Yourself:
  • “If you want to make self improvements for you, that’s fine...But once you start trying to make self improvements to impress other people, you have a problem.” – Dominique [35:16]
• On Healing Through Transparency:
  • “At the end of the day, our story, it is healing, and we want to help someone else, and we know that so many people can identify...no matter what your walk of life is...” – Ria Gibson [39:33]
• On Making It Through:
  • “You can, you know, get up, give life the middle finger, and let anybody who doubted you know, I’m coming back harder and stronger.” – Dominique [44:11]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [05:48] – How the Book & Journal Were Conceived
• [08:55] – Deciding to Share Their Personal Stories
• [10:58] – Bullying Then & Now, Impact of Social Media
• [12:28] – The Power of a Quote on Bullying
• [16:11] – Gendered Pressures: Women’s Bodies vs. Men’s Status
• [19:27] – Emotional Eating and Societal Celebration of Food
• [22:50] – Dominique’s Weight Loss Surgery Journey
• [29:54] – Importance of Self-Love
• [35:14] – The Pitfalls of Social Comparison
• [39:18] – Healing Through Vulnerability and Community
• [44:11] – Resilience, Tough Times, and Empowerment

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Additional Highlights

• Book Availability & Giveaways
  • Purchase through Amazon, Walmart, Barnes & Noble, or direct for signed copies and goodies ([45:34]).
• The Book’s Title and Cover
  • The playful, positive design—a digital scale with a cupcake—reflects their journey and message: “We wanted to just kind of draw in attention...we want people to see it, we want it to pop and draw in people.” – Ria & Dominique [47:12]

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Episode Tone

The tone is very real, supportive, sisterly, and often humorous, with the guests and host matching each other's candor and encouragement. The conversation is peppered with affirmations, mutual admiration, and practical wisdom for women (and men) at every stage of their self-acceptance journey.

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Takeaway Message

Self-love and acceptance are the bedrock of true transformation; lasting change happens not through shame or external validation, but inner healing and choosing yourself.

• “Always bet on you and choose you. Because once you start doing that, the universe chooses you.” – Kat [44:32]

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Links to the book and author contacts can be found in the episode notes.

Transcript

[Mrs. Claus (Younger Sister)]

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[Tall Elf]

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[Drew Ski]

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[Dominique]

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[Ria Gibson]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Tall Elf]

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[Drew Ski]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus (Younger Sister)]

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[Drew Ski]

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[Tall Elf]

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[Drew Ski]

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[Mrs. Claus (Younger Sister)]

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[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Visit t mobile.com My guests today, Dominic.

[Co-host or Guest]

Tuni and Rhea Gibson are two adorable.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Super intelligent, amazing ladies.

[Co-host or Guest]

And they wrote an incredible book and journal called it's just Fat Baby about.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Their journeys with weight loss, body acceptance, self love and self care.

[Co-host or Guest]

And I think this is such an.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Important subject that pretty much all of us on this planet can relate at.

One point or another in our lives.

I'm sure we have looked at ourselves in the mirror and thought, oh my God, I don't like what I see.

Should I lose weight? What should I do about it?

And they are so raw and so.

Real about their journey and how they.

Got to the point where they're at today.

I absolutely fell in love with their.

Work and it was such an honor and pleasure having them on the show. And I highly recomm the book because.

Like I said, not only they talk.

About their own personal journeys, but it's an adorable journal. It's an exercise that you can actually do yourself of self reflection, self love and self care, which is obviously something that I always love. I hope you guys really enjoyed this episode. It's just Fat Baby because at the end of the day, it's all about self love. And on this very special episode where we are going to talk about weight, body size, body positivity, self acceptance. I want to tell you guys about a brand that I started a few years ago for Body Positivity Girly A la mode. We are building a worldwide community for self love and inclusion. Our hashtag is Everybody is beautiful. Every single piece in all of the collections are things that everyone can wear and feel amazing regardless of size or age, background, race. It makes you feel amazing. It's cozy. Hoodies, sweatshirts, sweatpants, T shirts, long sleeves, beanies. Now for the winter the best selling organic tote and I make sure that everything there is under 100 bucks because most of us don't have unlimited budget to buy gifts. So check it out Girly G I R L I E Girly Alamode shopping. You can buy gifts for everyone. You can get stuff for yourself without breaking the bank and encourage self love and inclusion which I think is so important now that summer is over.

[Co-host or Guest]

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[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Dominican Ria Welcome. So much to cut on the loose. It's such a Pleasure. Have you girls here.

[Ria Gibson]

Yes.

[Dominique]

Thank you. It is such an honor to be here with you and.

[Ria Gibson]

No idea.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, my God. It's an honor to have you, because let me tell you, I love your book. Congratulations.

[Ria Gibson]

Thank you.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

You girls did really, really well. That's an amazing book.

[Ria Gibson]

We appreciate it, truly.

[Dominique]

Thank you so much. Yeah, we had. You know, it was such a learning process for us, and we just. You. But let's just put our thoughts on the paper and just go with it.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

So that's the first question. How did you decide? Because it's a very personal book, which I loved. I know it's so hard, and we're gonna talk about it. I know it's so hard for all of us girls, right, to talk about our weight weight journey, how it affects our lives. And I think it's such an important conversation. But you girls got really personal. Like, you talk about your relationships, you talk about your weight journey, and then I love that you do this little journal thing, which I'm huge about journaling. I love writing, and you put these questions that we can actually reflect on it. But how did you come up with that idea?

[Dominique]

I have to give credit to Dominique because Dominique is really big on journaling, so she is the mastermind behind putting the journal inside of the book. So credit to Dominique on that one for sure. And I just went with it. Like, you know, she never steered this wrong with any idea that she had. So I just kind of go with the flow. Like, you know what? Okay, we can do it. Why not? So I felt like, you know, when she presented that idea of putting a journal inside, it was more so making sure people had that reflective piece as they read along with us. And we put that reflection inside after a story that they kind of sat back and thought about their own lives after they, you know, read a particular portion of our life with us. And then they kind of had the opportunity to say, well, you know, where was I at at that particular moment in my life? And how did something make me feel during that time, you know?

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, totally. And it's interesting because as I started reading the book, when I saw the journal part, which is same. Dominic. I love writing. I've been journaling forever. It helps me get back in my life and remember, like, the tough times and how much I changed and evolved. I. I'm a huge fan of writing. Like, literally writing on pen and paper. You know, I don't care about technology. If you guys look at my des, any given day, I have 10 million pieces of pen and Paper. And I love that, that you tell a story and then you're like, have you ever been through this? Have you ever been through that? And at the end of the day, this is what I was thinking today before the podcast, because you girls on the east coast, you had a completely different upbringing than me. And I thought at the end of the day, we all go. Go through a lot of the same.

[Dominique]

Right, Absolutely.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

We all, like, think about it. We're very critical about our bodies. We all have ups and downs. We all feel good or bad about our weight, about how we relate to other people. Doesn't matter where you are in the world. We're only human at the end of the day.

Right?

[Dominique]

That's true. Yes, absolutely.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

And you girls get really raw and real in the book. So tell me, how did you decide to write about it? Because it's not easy to put yourselves out there, you know?

[Ria Gibson]

Well, we've been friends for a really long time, a really long time since high school. And we're not super old, but, you know, we're a little up there. So we were having a conversation like we always do, and started talking about how it was really hard to be overweight kids, and we always hoped that we would grow out of it, grow out of our baby fat. And we never did. We just got bigger. The conversation just kept going. We said, you know, what if we really shared these stories with somebody? What if we really shared with people how we healed, how we had horrible friendships, horrible relationships, and what we could do to really help somebody else, to not have to go through what we went through. And so that's when we decided, let's heal, let's be transparent, and let's really share our story like we never done before.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I love that because same. I do the same with the podcast. I'm very open and raw because I think this is how we learn together and we heal and we figure out how to move forward. And I think wait is a very delicate subject. No matter. Like I said, no matter where we are in the world, no matter who we are, I think you can ask any woman in the world, even if you ask a supermodel, doesn't matter how perfect they are, they don't feel great every single day. And you said, we grew up chubby and we grew up fat, and we grew up overweight, and you were. You were, like, super bullied as a kid, and then you. You didn't grow out of it. Some kids grow up maybe super skinny or super tall, and they get bullied as well nowadays. I think because when I grew up, I'm sure I'm older than you guys, but when I grew up, we didn't have even social media nowadays. I cannot imagine being a kid with social media.

Right.

[Dominique]

I think the same thing all the time. I'm like, I can't imagine, you know, being that age, like middle school, high school, and having the pressures of social media flood my mind. 20. I am so thankful I did grow up in that age, that era that I grew up in, because I just felt like we were able to kind of slow down and grow up, like in the usable amount of time that we were able to. Because I think kids probably now, today, they feel so pressured to grow up much faster because of social media. All this, you know, constant incoming, you know, waves of technology and pressure of people telling them like, this is what you should look like, this is what you should strive to achieve. And this is, you know, just constantly coming in and it's just like, you know, they don't know what they should be or how they should be and they don't even have the time to really identify, you know, being themselves. Yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

The problem is nowadays bullying comes not only, like with the kids in school, bully bullying comes on social media by total strangers. Right. People that don't even know us, they look at your account and they call you all kinds of names and they assume shit about you that without even knowing, I kind of just laugh it off. But I'm sure for teenagers, younger people, it must be like super tough. And you actually put a quote in your book. I wrote it down here cuz it's one of the nicest quotes. And you girls, by the way, congratulations, cuz, you, you did a ton of research to find some incredible quotes that.

[Ria Gibson]

You.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

That you put throughout the book. But this is one of my favorites that I'm never going to forget. So I wrote it down here about bullying. Bullying is not a reflection of the victim's character, but a, but rather a sign of the bully's lack of character. I love that.

[Ria Gibson]

Yeah, it sounds really, you know, it's so true.

[Dominique]

Hurt people. Hurt people.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I love that.

[Dominique]

And it's so true. I just, I really went through bullying like in my early stages of childhood and it kind of like tapered off once I got to like fifth, sixth grade. But I felt it so hard, you know, preschool, you know, first through or. Yeah, preschool through maybe third grade. It just hit so hard for me and I just will never forget how I felt in those moments. And I just, you know, tried to not be that person to make somebody feel bad because I was in those, you know, shoes at one point in time.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

It stays with you, right? If somebody calls you. Whatever. Fat. Fats are fat. So, yeah. Chubby. Whatever it is, you know, it sticks with you for a really long time.

[Dominique]

It does.

[Ria Gibson]

For the rest of your life, you know.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Ria Gibson]

Even if you lose weight, gain weight, whatever. It stays. That whole thing where it says sticks.

[Dominique]

And stomach break your bones, but words don't hurt.

[Ria Gibson]

They do hurt.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Of course they do.

[Ria Gibson]

You know, they create those lasting scars.

[Dominique]

Yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

The part that, you know, when I was reading the book, by the way, the COVID is so adorable, guys. It's like a scale and a little cupcake on top of the scale. I love it. But we're gonna talk about the COVID how you guys came up with the name. But what I was thinking today, that. And I want your opinion, I. As a woman, and I. I was never overweight, but of course, I have my ups and downs, and I had the. I had the opposite of the spectrum. When my mom died a few Years ago in 2017, I lost a ton of weight because my mom died, and a year later, my husband died. So I went through severe trauma in my life.

[Ria Gibson]

Right.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I'm thin. Thin. Yeah. I'm like 117 pounds. But I lost so much weight. I was like, £112. I was £111.12. And I remember at the time, I was hiding my pain, you know, working and doing all the things that I had to do. And people looked at me and they're like, oh, you look so great. You look so great. You look so great. And I. I never had been more unhealthy. I couldn't eat. I was so weak, I thought I was gonna die. You know, I ended up in the hospital with a kidney infection because I couldn't eat. And I remember just because I was thin, you know, because that's what society expects, I guess, of you. And I remember when I used to go home and cry because I. I literally couldn't eat because I was in so much mental pain.

[Dominique]

Right.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

And after that, as I started recovering, you know, nowadays I feel like, okay, I never want to go that low. I'm happy with the way I am. But I always ask, I always question myself, why do we feel as women that we have to talk about it? You know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm too thin or I'm too fat, or I'm this. I'm that. I feel like we always have to justify our weight.

[Dominique]

Yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I Don't feel men have to do that too much. I think it's always on us. Do you guys feel that pressure? Do you agree with me?

[Dominique]

I do. I feel like men probably have different pressures like career status. They probably have different pressures of financial status. Theirs is more maybe financial or career based. Women, I feel like it's just more appearance based. But I feel like also now too, you know, times have changed where women have just this equal amount of pressure, not only to look good, but if you're career driven, the pressure of your career, you have the pressure of appearance, you have the pressure of, you know, if you're married or not. You know, do you have a family or not? We have so much more pressure on us just because times have changed. And I feel like it just makes. It makes it worse.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. I just think we get criticized, you know, it personally, it drives me crazy when I hear somebody criticizing a woman's body. I don't care who they are because I think we can be beautiful on any size. Honestly. Honestly. Honestly, I don't think it is one size fits all. You know, I don't think that there is such a thing. But when I hear even women criticizing other women or a guy saying, oh, my God, you know, she's fat or she's too thin or she doesn't have a butt or she has a butt, it drives me crazy, out of my mind. I don't think we should even have this conversation, you know, about women's bodies.

[Ria Gibson]

That's true. But it's the way that we've been programmed, you know, ever since. If you go back and you think about Barbie and how Barbie looked and she looks perfect and, you know, it's that same thing. I think every woman is just striving in her own sense to be that perfect. Whether it's a Coke bottle, whether it's Barbie, whatever it is, to be that perfect woman into, have some type of accolades that she receives because of it, you know?

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. How do you get to the point that. Because you guys, I mean, okay, let's. Let's wait, wait. Because you, you wrote. It's a very rich book, by the way, because you talk about your journey growing up. You talk about a lot of relationships. Same. We've all been there, right? Hooking up with the wrong man, going back to the wrong man. Same thing. As I was reading the book, I'm like, been there, done that. Hence the podcast. We've all been. You can talk to girls all over the world. We all have similar stories. And then there's Also, I don't know if you girls do that, but the emotional eating. Right, right. Like, when I'm too sad, I do do, like, 90% of the time. I eat super healthy, super clean. It's just my lifestyle because it makes me feel good. And then if something bad happens to me, I'm the person that I'll go, like, I'll cry with the food. You know, I'll go and buy something that I love, and I do the emotional eating right. And you got you. You girls wrote about that as well.

[Dominique]

So I know for me, there was a point in time where there were certain items that I would not even buy. Like, I would not buy ice cream. I would not buy certain brands of chips, because I know once I get started, I wouldn't know how to stop. I couldn't control myself. So I know for me, there are just certain things that I won't even buy. I mean, now it's a little bit different just because I had weight loss surgery back in 2021, and I'm very. Just very routine. And I have a very strict regimen for myself. You know, if I overindulge now, it's because I ate literally maybe 812 nacho cheese Doritos, and that's it. That's like my splurge for like a week. But, you know, back then, I just could not keep certain things in the house because I did not know how to just have, like, you know, the serving size on the container. I would go ham and that would be it. So I could definitely relate to the emotional eating. And then I feel like, too, in our society, food is centered around, like, celebrations. You know, we, you know, have a graduation party. There's lots of food, baby showers. We celebrate with food. It's a wedding. We celebrate with food. If somebody, you know, is having a bridal shower, we celebrate with food. You know, some type of sporting event, somebody's having a party, we celebrate with food. Like, food is the center of everything that we do, whether it's something positive or negative. Like, food is the center of it all, you know?

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, for sure. And I want to talk about your surgery because you were very open about that in the book. You said that. And I know a lot of people have questions about it, but it's interesting because you said you tried everything, right? You tried yo yo dieting in your weight loss journey. You tried all kinds of fad diets. You tried a bunch of things before you got to the point that you're like, I'm going to do the gastric bypass guys.

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[Kat (Podcast Host)]

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[Kat (Podcast Host)]

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[Dominique]

Yes, I have the, the BSG starter, which is the gastric sleeve. But this, my struggle with weight, like, was literally from birth. Okay, I was heavy as a preschooler all the way up until I had my gastric sleeve surgery. And it wasn't that, you know, I was a stranger to the gym. It just felt like for me, the older I got, the harder it was for the weight to come off. And I was signed up for people boot camps. I was no stranger to, you know, going to some of the well known boot camps in our city, personal trainers. And the last stop that I made was my personal trainer when I lived in Virginia Beach. And it was nothing. He did absolutely nothing wrong. He was an amazing trainer. The problem was after a while, when your body is constantly going through this battle of are we losing weight, are we gaining weight? Are we, you know, on a diet, we not on a diet. It doesn't know what it wants to do anymore. So, you know, you just kind of, you know, stay at this, this, you know, space of holding on to weight. And for me, I just got tired, I just got tired of fighting that battle with myself. And I just felt like, you know what, let me go talk to A doctor, I'm gonna use this as a tool. And I knew a few people in my personal life who had had the surgery, they had been successful. So, you know, I just made that decision that was best for me. And so far it's been working so.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

So it's been a few years. And now you feel like you're happy you got used to the lifestyle?

[Dominique]

Oh yeah, it's. I feel like it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. You know, not everybody, you know, has the best outcome, but I feel like it's a mental, it's definitely a mental change that you have to make. And if you're not mentally prepared to make all of the life adjustments, you may not be as successful as you would want to be because it's not a quick fix. You have to be constantly working at it every single day. You can't go lay on a surgery table, they can't do what they have to do and then you're not going to come out in two days losing X amount of weight. You have to constantly work at it every day. You have to stick to the portion sizes, you have to go to the gym, you have to take those vitamins and it's something you do 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

And you said you have actually to go through a lot of tests, right? Like psychological tests, because they want to make sure that you are the right candidate for it. Probably because like you said, they want to make sure that it's not just a person that thinks, oh yeah, this is going to be a quick fix and it's going to solve all my problems and that's it. Right. They want to make sure that you know what you're getting into.

[Dominique]

Yeah, absolutely. You talk to a psychiatrist, you go see a nutritionist for a few months, more than likely the doctor is going to ask you to lose, you know, a certain amount of weight on your own before you go see the, before you finally have your surgery date. I mean, it's a lot of steps that you have to take. You know, it's usually about a six month process. Yeah, usually a six to eight month process depending on like your insurance coverage. But I, I just, you know, I had no complaints.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Well, it worked for you. So yeah, it could be an option for somebody that tried everything else and nothing else worked. Right.

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But you girls talk about something else that I completely agree and I probably think it's on top of the pyramid. Self love. I think at any size anything that you do is only going to work. If you decide whatever you're going to do, it's because you love yourself.

[Ria Gibson]

That part, yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

So to me, this was one of the most important parts of the book. Do you girls want to talk about that for a second?

[Ria Gibson]

Yes. I think that when we were discussing just even writing the book, we had to figure out, do we love ourselves? And the book was truly a healing process. It was us being as transparent and open as we've ever been. And a lot of the stories we've told, our families didn't even know, you know, they didn't know about, like, for instance, me being teased as a child or some of the things that I experienced. So writing the book, we had to really reflect and really say, no matter what happens, no matter what we look like, no matter, you know, what we look like down the road, we love ourselves. Regardless of how others have treated us, we love ourselves. And now, because we know our worth, we know we're no longer willing to accept that, no longer willing to compromise. So that's the message that we really want to share with women, men, whoever, you have to love yourself first. You can't expect for another person to.

[Dominique]

Complete you or to make you void.

[Ria Gibson]

You have to be whole. You have to like you by yourself and with another person. And when you do that, people will treat you better because you demand a different level of respect. You know. You know that you're not leftovers, right. You know that you belong at the table and you have a seat, and you know that a person would be lucky to have you.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Ria Gibson]

So that's really our message.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I love, love, love that, because I think that's the best antidote, even against bullying. Because no matter what people say about you, if you know your value, regardless of your size, regardless of what you look like, nothing is going to affect you. And I think that's the most important for me. It took me decades to get to this point. I wasn't bullied technically about my weight, but believe it or not, I was all. And to this day, I'm bullied because, you know, I'm Latin, but I don't look Latin, right? Because I'm half Latin and half European. And people don't believe me when I tell them that I'm Latin. And then because I still have an accent, accident accent. I still have an accent, although I've lived in the United States, like, pretty much my entire life. No, people don't believe me. I'm like, yes, I'm an American, but I never lost my accent. So they bully me because of that. They make fun of me because of that. But for so long, used to bother me, you know, I always felt, like, inferior, and I was embarrassed of my. Yeah. Nowadays, like, this journey of knowing my value and my worth and what I'm capable of. When people make fun of me, I just laugh it off. I'm like, nothing affects me anymore at this point in my life, you know? But it's a journey to get here, to accomplish, accept yourself this much. It's not like an overnight thing, right?

[Dominique]

No, it's not. Not at all.

[Ria Gibson]

And I think once you realize that, everybody gets bullied, everyone gets made fun of. People will find the smallest state or anything that they see as different or they see as a threat, and they will make fun of you. A lot of times, people who bully you want to be. You know, they're jealous of what they feel like you possess, even though you don't feel like you're that great. So I think that's the key, is to recognize, again, your own worth and know, hey, if you dislike me this much, that means I'm doing something right.

[Dominique]

Michael Jordan said that.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

As sad as it is, right, Because I agree with you. I think usually the people that like, even like the people, the trolls on social media, usually they're the jealous ones, right? The ones that are not doing what we are doing, they're jealous of our work. But it makes me sad because I kind of want to live in a world where we are so supportive of each other that we make each other stronger. That's the world I want to be.

[Ria Gibson]

We should be like that. But I think we have to create the culture to be that.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yes.

[Ria Gibson]

I love eating by example and showing people you don't have to be someone else.

[Dominique]

Down.

[Ria Gibson]

We can all win. We can all do well together, love each other and protect each other, especially as women.

[Dominique]

You know, Kat, that is exactly how I got turned on to your podcast, because I was actually. I think I had just kind of listened to Dr. Cheyenne Bryant and her episode with Cam Newton. So I was just kind of, you know, doing a surge for, on my iPad or itunes podcast for Dr. Cheyenne Bryant episodes. And I was like, oh, she's on the body image one with you and your friend Kat at the time. And so once I heard that episode with her and you all, I was like, oh, well, let's see what Kat on the Loose is about. And I just like, started listening to all these different episodes, and I just found that particular episode about, like, body image and self esteem to be so, you know, Very valuable and so true. And I hope, you know, people can go back and listen to that episode that you all talked about, because everything was so spot on. Especially that point you all made about, you know, people compare themselves to the Kardashians. That is an unrealistic expectation.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, my God. Yes, Ashley BL.

[Dominique]

That is such an unrealistic expectation to me. You know, it's just. People just have to learn how to love who they are, deal with. You have to work with what you have. And if you want to be better for you, that's the key. If you want to make self improvements for you, that's fine. You are more than welcome to do that. You can do your research and find what avenues you can afford that are the safest way for you to do that. But once you start trying to make self improvements to impress other people, you have a problem for somebody.

[Ria Gibson]

Yeah, temporary happiness.

[Dominique]

It's temporary happiness because it's just. It's just not the way to do it. You never, ever, everybody, you're never going to please anybody. You're going to be. You're going to live a miserable life trying to spend your life pleasing other people.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, my God. No, you nailed it.

[Ria Gibson]

And.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

But that's the thing with social media.

[Dominique]

I.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Especially the younger people. But. But nowadays, even, like I see girls in their 30s and 40s, like you said, they look at the celebrities with millions of dollars and they want to look like the celebrities. But you start losing your individuality. Like you just said, instead of. I. I believe in being the best version of ourselves. Like, when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, okay, I can only be the best, Catherine. You know, my body is never gonna be perfect.

[Dominique]

It's.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Nothing is ever gonna be exactly the way I want. I'm never gonna be taller, whatever. But I try to be the best version of me for me. But there are so many women, like you just said, instead of being themselves, they try to copy and copy and copy. I think they lose their own identity. And that's where the problem start. And it's a rat race, right? Because there is never gonna be, like, why would you want to be like another Kardashian or another Chloe or whatever their names are? Like, you know, what's the point to that? Like you said, you're never gonna be happy like that. You're always gonna be frustrated. You know, it's.

[Ria Gibson]

Yeah, you're gonna keep making changes. Yeah, you have to keep changing yourself. And if you've even watched, you know, keeping it with the Kardashians they have their own insecurities, too.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, my God. Everybody does.

[Dominique]

Of all of us.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. You know, look, listen, I've talked to models. I. I'm gonna be doing an episode with models coming up because of the beauty industry, and same. We think that they're this perfect goddesses, but, you know, they are women, just like us. Some days, of course, they feel incredible. Maybe they photograph super well. But, you know, there are other things that they don't love about themselves, and they're things that they love. Their parts. Right. They're parts that we love and parts we don't love. But I think it's about loving, you know, the.

The.

The whole. It's like learning how to. I. I really believe. And it sounds cheesy, but I think this. This journey of self love is the. The biggest lesson that. That we can all learn. You know, if you learn, if you get there, it. I'm not kidding. It took me my whole life to get here. I literally just learned, like, the past two years.

[Dominique]

Acting cat. I can identify with that.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

And you girls are amazing. And I feel like this book was so raw. So it was right up my alle. Read it, I talked to my team, and I'm like, these girls are so real, and they put so much of themselves in this book. I want to talk to them because I know it's not easy. I. Because I do it on the podcast. Like, I talk about my life and my journey and my problems, and I know it's not easy to open up, but it's very cathartic. Right. Once you open up, you're like, wow, okay. I feel like I took, like, pounds and pounds of weight off of my back. Once you put it out there.

Right?

[Dominique]

Absolutely.

[Ria Gibson]

And it's there now. It's out there. And that was, I think, another fear once we publish was like, oh, my God, it's out there.

[Dominique]

And.

[Ria Gibson]

But at the end of the day, our story, it is healing, and we want to help someone else, and we know that it's so many people who can identify. Like you said, no matter what your walk of life is, no matter what your experiences are, you can identify with either the both of us or one of us or at least parts of.

[Dominique]

Our story, you know, so. Absolutely.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Because you talk about, like I said, you talk a lot about, like, different men and different relationships and ups and downs. We've all been there. Then I think another thing that every single woman has done, even the skinniest, like, like we were saying, even the supermodels is the yo yo diets, the crazy no carb, no this, no that, like, and of course nothing works because nobody wants to be miserable forever.

[Dominique]

Sustainable.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, it's not sustainable. I think only a lifestyle day you enjoy and works for you is sustainable. At least in my book.

[Ria Gibson]

I'm a firm.

[Dominique]

Yeah.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Of that. But we've. When you read the book and you girl, you guys listening to the podcast, I'm, you know, 1 million percent please get this book because it's so much fun. And then when you open the, at the end of the chapters, when you get your little journal, every single question you girls ask, everybody's gonna say, yes, I've been there. Have you ever been through a breakup?

Yes.

Have you? Has someone ever dated? Wish you would have not have dated. Yes. Like, so everybody relates. Have you conquered one of your biggest fears?

Yeah.

So, like, it's so relatable. It's so relatable because we've all been through this journey, you know, so it's, it's a fun read and it's an exercise in self love and self care. So it's really, really amazing.

[Dominique]

Thank you so much.

[Ria Gibson]

We really appreciate that.

[Dominique]

We absolutely do. And you know, we do promote now. People can purchase the book online. But listen, Kat, don't nobody know who we are from a can of paint. Okay? Let's just be real. We are Dominique and Ria from Cleveland, Ohio. We are nurse and social worker by day. Okay? That's what we do. That's our gear. But when people want to buy an actual hard copy book from us, they are going to get an inspirational bookmark and we will send them an ink pen because why are we gonna create a book with a built in journal and not give you a pen?

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I got the most beautiful package. Yes. You guys sent me an inspirational a note which is right here behind me, like on my mood board. I don't know if you can see it on camera. You send a fan, you send a beautiful T shirt, which I love. I was like in tears because I'm very emotional. Thank you. You girls wrote the sweetest message in the book. Book. And I think it's all about women empowering women. I. I was talking about, you know, before I started the podcast, many years ago, I started an online clothing brand called Girly A la Mode is exclusively to empower women to feel good about themselves. Like, every single little piece. It's like cozy sweatshirts and hoodies and T shirts and things that fit every person on the planet. It's like everything we create it's for. And the motto is everybody is beautiful. Oh, I love that. Every product we create, we make a point like, is this gonna look good on any person that tries it on? You know, I don't care how big you are, how tiny you are, how tall, I want every person that puts that on say, okay, this is. Is cozy. This is adorable. You know, so that's why. Exactly. Because I. I've been such a huge advocate for body positivity for so long. So I believe the universe united us to spread the word.

[Dominique]

I love that. Yes. That's what we are all about. We just want people to understand that we have been in, you know, the same shoes they may be in. We have, you know, different stories, but our struggles with weight have connected us. We are can Syrian besties. I'm June. She's July. We are the same, but different. But, you know, we are, you know, just here for people to understand that. Listen, if you feel like you're going through a tough time, tough times don't last long.

[Co-host or Guest]

That's true.

[Dominique]

You can, you know, get up, give life, the middle finger and let anybody who doubted you know, I'm coming back harder and stronger. So don't think you're gonna keep me down.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Yes, baby. I love it.

[Ria Gibson]

At the end of the day, people.

[Dominique]

Need to choose themselves.

[Ria Gibson]

Always bet on you and choose one million.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Because once you start doing that, the universe chooses you. Like you said, Dominic, a little while back, people appreciate you. People respect you and treat you better. So I think everything starts with us, regardless of our size.

[Ria Gibson]

Absolutely.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

That's the message.

[Ria Gibson]

You know, economic status, any of those things. Be happy with who you are.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

And I'm gonna say, Ria, Yes. I know you're a social worker and fabulous nurse from Cleveland, Ohio, but you're also fabulous writers. You are professional book writers. You kick the ass. Thank you. You really did. And it's an honor, honor, honor that, you know, you found me, that you sent me your gorgeous book and your care pack because I felt very loved. Thank you. With all my heart. Congratulations. Can you please tell people how they get this book?

[Dominique]

Yes. So they can actually, if they go to our website, www. It's just we have a link at the very top. They can get it through Amazon, Walmart, Barnes and Noble.com. but if they want us to send them a hard copy of the book, where we will mail them the ink pin and the bookmark, she will.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I will go to UPS the next day. Stop playing games.

[Dominique]

We accept Zo cash now, Zoe. Every.

[Ria Gibson]

Every form of page and you can DM us and just let us know. And RIA100 will send you that book.

[Dominique]

Yes, everything.

[Ria Gibson]

Absolutely.

[Dominique]

So you can send us a DM because our Instagram is atv_rhea and that are. I guess we have so many things.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

I'll tell you what. I'm putting the link. I'm putting the link on this episode so everybody can find you. So the link is going to be there so people can click and go and can find you, and everything's gonna be there. You guys can DM me if you don't find. I'll hook you up. Because I. This is like on. I'm not kidding. I read the gazillion books this year. This is like one top, top, top, top, top favorite on my list. Madeline, Love. It's just fat, by the way. Fat. P H A T is just fat. Right? I love. And the COVID is. Before I let you go, how'd you guys came up with this adorable cover? The scale, the cupcake.

[Ria Gibson]

So we partnered with our. With our publisher and we kind of went through ideas and I'm not sure who really said what about. I think Ria might have said, what about a cupcake or a cake? And then he might have said, all right, what about a scale? When he brought in his graphic design.

[Dominique]

Yeah, we kind of just, you know, because the idea was like, it's just fat, baby. You know, we're talking about our challenges with weight, but, you know, we're cute.

[Ria Gibson]

You know, we want to make it cute.

[Dominique]

Yeah. We wanted to just kind of draw in attention. And it's like, you know, I like the digital scale because I think at first he had like that, you know.

[Ria Gibson]

Traditional old school balancing scale. And then we chose fuchsia because we just love the color. We want people to see it. We want it to pop and draw in people. So I think we are colorful and we are.

[Dominique]

Yes. I love side eye.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, my God. Yeah, same. I freaking love it. You girls did an absolutely incredible job. Congratulations. And by the way, you're both really beautiful.

[Dominique]

Thank you.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Thank you for sharing your weight journey. I hope you're happy. I think at the end of the day, it's all about being healthy, right?

[Ria Gibson]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

We, if we have our health, we have everything. If we're not healthy, game over. That's what I tell women everywhere. When I was my skinniest, like I told you, I almost died. So nowadays I'm like, I don't want to be that skin. Pardon my French. I'm like, I don't want to go that, that thin anymore, because when I go that thin, I know, like, I'm not. Well, I prefer to feel. I prefer to have a little meat on my bones and know that I'm super healthy. So I think that we gotta find the medium like, like to be healthy and move and, and, and live and. And thrive. So. And you girls are beautiful and you're intelligent and you're creative, and congratulations.

[Dominique]

And I'm gonna continue to tune in.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Oh, thank you so much.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes.

[Kat (Podcast Host)]

Cat on the loose, and it's just fast. Dominic. Dominic, Tony and Rhea Gibson. It was such an honor having you. Have a wonderful weekend. It's just fat. And I'll hook you up. I'll put the links here, and you guys be. Be safe out there. Thank you.

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