Kat on the Loose: IT'S JUST PHAT BABY!

With Dominique Toney & Ria Gibson
Date: November 20, 2024
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guests: Dominique Toney & Ria Gibson

Episode Overview

This episode of Kat on the Loose tackles the sensitive yet universal subject of body image, weight loss journeys, and the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. Host Kat Zammuto is joined by Dominique Toney and Ria Gibson, authors of the new book and journal It's Just Phat Baby. Through an open, real, and empowering conversation, the women share their deeply personal stories of growing up in bodies that didn't meet societal standards, overcoming bullying, cycles of dieting, and ultimately embracing self-worth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Story Behind "It's Just Phat Baby"

[05:48 – 08:21]

• Book Genesis: The book is a result of the authors’ lifelong friendship and shared experiences with being overweight from childhood through adulthood. Their candid conversations evolved into a desire to help others heal through transparency.

  • "We always hoped we would grow out of it, grow out of our baby fat. And we never did. We just got bigger... What if we really shared with people how we healed, what we could do to really help somebody else, to not have to go through what we went through?" – Ria Gibson [08:55]

• Inclusion of a Journal: Dominique’s love for journaling inspired the reflective prompts after each chapter, inviting readers to pause and process their own journeys.

  • “When she presented that idea...it was more so making sure people had that reflective piece as they read along with us.” – Dominique [06:36]

2. Universality of Body Image Issues

[08:21 – 09:56]

• Kat notes that regardless of geography or background, everyone can relate to feeling dissatisfied with their appearance at some point.
• The co-hosts discuss how societal and cultural pressures affect everyone, not just women who are overweight.

3. Impact of Bullying & Social Media

[10:57 – 14:01]

• Early Bullying: Both Dominique and Ria share stories of childhood bullying over body size, emphasizing the long-term emotional scars.
  • “Bullying is not a reflection of the victim's character, but rather a sign of the bully's lack of character.” – (Quoted by Kat from the book) [12:28]
• Social Media Amplification: They are relieved not having grown up with social media, expressing concern for today’s teens who face relentless online scrutiny.

4. The Pressures Placed on Women vs. Men

[16:02 – 18:13]

• Kat: Points out that women disproportionally bear the burden of body scrutiny, while men face more career/financial pressures.
  • “Women, I feel like it’s just more appearance based. But...now too, times have changed—we have just this equal amount of pressure, not only to look good...” – Dominique [16:11]
• The programming runs deep, referencing the iconic “Barbie” body and how it entrenches unrealistic beauty ideals.

5. Relationship to Food & "Emotional Eating"

[19:27 – 20:56]

• Both guests open up about their relationship to food, describing emotional eating as a coping mechanism for stress, sadness, or celebration.
  • “Food is the center of everything that we do, whether it’s something positive or negative.” – Dominique [19:27]

6. Weight Loss Surgery: The Realities

[22:50 – 25:26]

• Dominique details her decision to undergo a gastric sleeve surgery after years of unsuccessful diets, exercise, and plateauing.
  • “My struggle with weight was literally from birth...it just felt like for me, the older I got, the harder it was for the weight to come off.” – Dominique [22:50]
• Highlights the intensive mental and medical preparation required, and stresses the importance of not seeing surgery as a "quick fix."

7. The Essential Role of Self-Love

[29:23 – 33:30]

• Self-love is framed as the core from which all positive change springs.
  • “No matter what happens, no matter what we look like...we love ourselves. Regardless of how others have treated us, we love ourselves. And now, because we know our worth, we know we’re no longer willing to accept that, no longer willing to compromise.” – Ria Gibson [29:54]
• Self-worth acts as a shield against bullying and the opinions of others. It’s not about being completed by another, but being whole and demanding respect.
  • “You have to be whole. You have to like you by yourself and with another person. And when you do that, people will treat you better because you demand a different level of respect.” – Ria Gibson [30:53]
• Kat notes how it took decades to reach self-acceptance, a journey many listeners will relate to.

8. Social Comparison & the Trap of Imitation

[35:14 – 37:27]

• They criticize the harmful cycle of aspiring to celebrity or influencer perfection—especially the “Kardashian effect”—and urge women to strive for the best version of themselves, not someone else.
  • “Once you start trying to make self improvements to impress other people, you have a problem...You’re never going to please anybody. You're going to live a miserable life trying to spend your life pleasing other people.” – Dominique [35:53]

9. Empowerment Through Community and Sharing

[39:18 – 44:11]

• The hosts reflect on the catharsis of being vulnerable, both in the book and on the podcast.
• There’s a strong call for women to support each other and create positive spaces.
  • “If you feel like you’re going through a tough time, tough times don’t last long.” – Dominique [44:11]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bullying:
  • “Hurt people hurt people.” – Dominique [12:52]
• On Living for Yourself:
  • “If you want to make self improvements for you, that’s fine...But once you start trying to make self improvements to impress other people, you have a problem.” – Dominique [35:16]
• On Healing Through Transparency:
  • “At the end of the day, our story, it is healing, and we want to help someone else, and we know that so many people can identify...no matter what your walk of life is...” – Ria Gibson [39:33]
• On Making It Through:
  • “You can, you know, get up, give life the middle finger, and let anybody who doubted you know, I’m coming back harder and stronger.” – Dominique [44:11]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [05:48] – How the Book & Journal Were Conceived
• [08:55] – Deciding to Share Their Personal Stories
• [10:58] – Bullying Then & Now, Impact of Social Media
• [12:28] – The Power of a Quote on Bullying
• [16:11] – Gendered Pressures: Women’s Bodies vs. Men’s Status
• [19:27] – Emotional Eating and Societal Celebration of Food
• [22:50] – Dominique’s Weight Loss Surgery Journey
• [29:54] – Importance of Self-Love
• [35:14] – The Pitfalls of Social Comparison
• [39:18] – Healing Through Vulnerability and Community
• [44:11] – Resilience, Tough Times, and Empowerment

Additional Highlights

• Book Availability & Giveaways
  • Purchase through Amazon, Walmart, Barnes & Noble, or direct for signed copies and goodies ([45:34]).
• The Book’s Title and Cover
  • The playful, positive design—a digital scale with a cupcake—reflects their journey and message: “We wanted to just kind of draw in attention...we want people to see it, we want it to pop and draw in people.” – Ria & Dominique [47:12]

Episode Tone

The tone is very real, supportive, sisterly, and often humorous, with the guests and host matching each other's candor and encouragement. The conversation is peppered with affirmations, mutual admiration, and practical wisdom for women (and men) at every stage of their self-acceptance journey.

Takeaway Message

Self-love and acceptance are the bedrock of true transformation; lasting change happens not through shame or external validation, but inner healing and choosing yourself.

• “Always bet on you and choose you. Because once you start doing that, the universe chooses you.” – Kat [44:32]

Links to the book and author contacts can be found in the episode notes.